How To Use Tactical Empathy In Different Situations | Chris Voss

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  • Опубліковано 3 жов 2024
  • Get FREE access to The Black Swan Group’s book 5 Negotiation Tactics for Dealing with Difficult People here: bit.ly/3duQVyW
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    About The Black Swan Group
    Founded and led by former lead FBI hostage negotiator, Chris Voss, the Black Swan Group has 10+ years of experience working with companies and individuals on taking their negotiation skills to the next level. Chris’ book, Never Split the Difference, is a Wall Street Journal bestseller and has sold over 2 million copies worldwide. Our expert team of coaches discuss everything from silence techniques to influential empathy.
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    Thanks for watching!

КОМЕНТАРІ • 46

  • @rohanaurora
    @rohanaurora Рік тому +46

    04:10 - Neural resonance, Call it out.
    16:20 - Labeling diminishing amygdala's negative trigger. "What are you feeling?"
    17:30 - Accusations audit. Series of negative labels (70%).
    20:40 - Tactical Empathy is your best chance of success (93%) - "Before I disagree with you, here's what I think your position is"
    24:24 - Brother-Sister example. Make her feel heard, without disagreeing with anything.
    26:38 - Prime the individual for behaviors that you want them to display.
    41:47 - Accusations audit during price negotiation - "I am sure I look uncollaborative on purpose" "I am sure I look greedy".
    47:46 - Chris literally using mirroring here while getting a testimonial!
    53:29 - Oxytocin is more powerful than a walkway. Brandon's NJ store walkway example, praise the bond!
    56:00 - Focus on motivation (why). Remain genuinely curious. Find where it's coming from. Listen, don't rush. It's Not About The Nail video.
    01:05:20 - "Are you against? Would it be a bad idea why this is not appropriate?
    01:12:58 - Kidnapper example. "That's right!"
    01:19:22 - "Before I disagree with you, let me make sure I got your perspective correct" until "That's right!"

    • @AMANDAMCBRIDEKC
      @AMANDAMCBRIDEKC Рік тому +4

      thank you for time stamps - super helpful!

    • @Christian_Prepper
      @Christian_Prepper Рік тому +1

      *NEGOTIATOR's REAL WORLD HIGH STAKES CHALLENGE*
      *What can be done when a hostile, emotional person is actively yelling obscenities & threatening bodily injury directly at you, there is no escape possible, and you have seconds to influence the outcome of the situation?*
      *Or is all this training only good for business negotiations & hostages?*

    • @tomjeff1743
      @tomjeff1743 Рік тому

      ​@Christian_Prepper I've heard chris recommend in the past that we introduce ourselves. Stick our hand out and say my name is Chris. If it's beyond that, then leave or run. If you can't do that, be prepared to disable them so they can't hurt anybody, including you. Tim Larkin self-defense. Keep a little demon sticker in your pocket.

    • @WhoNeedsWhatWhere
      @WhoNeedsWhatWhere 10 місяців тому

      Hero among men, thank you sir

    • @almmason7
      @almmason7 7 місяців тому

      Thank you ❤

  • @charmainecarr1816
    @charmainecarr1816 Рік тому +7

    Im no genius, but when I read Chris Voss’s book Never split the difference, it seriously changed my professional and personal life. I can’t that him enough for showing me the way.. ❤

  • @kalebbillig3472
    @kalebbillig3472 Рік тому +6

    I think: “I feel… when I’m… (describe what they did without using YOU statements), because… “
    Example: “I feel misled when I’m deliberately shown only some of the information, because it seems like something is being hidden from me”
    This way there’s no opportunity for defenses to go up! The word YOU brings accusatory vibes.

  • @acceleratedtrainingacademy
    @acceleratedtrainingacademy Рік тому +3

    Great explanation of tactical empathy. One of his best for sure

  • @carloseduardonaranjosuarez5917

    Thank you very much for your wisdom, for your contribution to a better world

  • @misraersavas2443
    @misraersavas2443 Рік тому +6

    I wish they would write down the names of the books they mention as well. I read more books suggested by him than anyone else

    • @fitnesssoup7553
      @fitnesssoup7553 Рік тому +1

      No you don’t. I read more books he reads than anyone! 😅

  • @user-pi4kw7bm5p
    @user-pi4kw7bm5p Рік тому +19

    Etymology, entomology and empathy are all Greek origin words. Oh, and amygdala is also Greek word which means almond. Greetings from Greece teacher Chris.

  • @jaigaines
    @jaigaines Рік тому +1

    At 46:26 You described my customer perfectly. A couple hours ago I almost gave her a swim free little opportunity. Then I thought, this table can be turned.

  • @meta1gear4
    @meta1gear4 Рік тому +6

    Holy crap! I just turned a flaked date around haha. It works! I just Black Swanned someone! And this was all through text haha

    • @louio
      @louio 3 місяці тому

      How?

    • @meta1gear4
      @meta1gear4 3 місяці тому +1

      @@louio seems like, sounds like, feels like

  • @ashley4372
    @ashley4372 Рік тому +2

    nice, thanks for this.

  • @marcibunn
    @marcibunn 8 місяців тому

    ❤thank u!

  • @yvonnehyatt8353
    @yvonnehyatt8353 Місяць тому

    Call it : the Circular Economy system, on UA-cam thanks.

  • @TheKitchenerLeslie
    @TheKitchenerLeslie 3 місяці тому

    This technique works!

  • @jaigaines
    @jaigaines Рік тому

    1:17:56 I actually need a discount right now. And I been paying Spectrum a lot for a long time.

  • @ReflectionOcean
    @ReflectionOcean Рік тому +4

    Before I disagree with you, here's what I think your position is...

    • @NegotiationMastery
      @NegotiationMastery  Рік тому +2

      It sounds like our training would be a great fit for you. Go to the quiz on our website to discover which kind is right for you: bit.ly/3N9MhWc

  • @chriskelly1320
    @chriskelly1320 Рік тому +1

    👍 I forgot how much I missed George Carlin

  • @brightpage1020
    @brightpage1020 8 місяців тому

    Sympathy is understanding how somebody else feels. Empathy is feeling it. In the ‘90’s we hoped and offered sympathy but now we push empathy as a requirement.

    • @Joseph_Christopher
      @Joseph_Christopher 4 місяці тому +1

      That’s backwards

    • @brightpage1020
      @brightpage1020 4 місяці тому

      @@Joseph_Christopher Culturally, we had boundaries back then. We learned which was appropriate when. That was a long time ago. There are no appropriate boundaries now that don’t harm or offend one if not the other. Boundaries are no longer allowed. Not between the sexes, the ages, the genders, the countries… Our melting pot is boiling over, I’m afraid.

    • @Joseph_Christopher
      @Joseph_Christopher 4 місяці тому

      @@brightpage1020 That has nothing to do with the subject. To break it down, Sympathy is: "OMG, that's terrible! I feel so bad for you!..." Empathy is: "It sounds like that really affected you. I can understand why you are upset..." See the difference?

  • @MjF809
    @MjF809 Рік тому +2

    I believe empathy has become a dangerous pandoras box, highly misued in society, medicine, psychiatry,
    Empathy is the polar opposite of psycopathy....both fatal.

  • @MichaelVance-el5mz
    @MichaelVance-el5mz 13 днів тому

    SO what if it's manipulative

  • @MulletMakersCom
    @MulletMakersCom 11 місяців тому +1

    Anyone else realizing that Brandon Voss is really Derek's Kid? Does Chis know this?

  • @GenericHandle01
    @GenericHandle01 Рік тому +2

    19:22 Does anyone know what this woman is talking about when she is saying people are "half" and "L". Some of the other things she says, make it sound like it's related to politics but even google doesn't know what I am talking about when I try to search it up.

    • @NegotiationMastery
      @NegotiationMastery  Рік тому +3

      H.A.L.F. - Hard, Annoying, Lame, Frustrating
      E.L.F. - Easy, Lucrative, Fun

    • @Christian_Prepper
      @Christian_Prepper Рік тому +1

      ​@@NegotiationMastery*NEGOTIATOR's REAL WORLD HIGH STAKES CHALLENGE*
      *What can be asked when a hostile, emotional person is actively yelling obscenities & threatening bodily injury directly at you, there is no escape possible, and you have seconds to influence the outcome of the situation?*

  • @masteringtheapproach7815
    @masteringtheapproach7815 Рік тому

    Who is Dean Cooper and where is his work at I'm very interested in that

    • @NegotiationMastery
      @NegotiationMastery  Рік тому +1

      It sounds like our training would be a great fit for you. Go to the quiz on our website to discover which kind is right for you: bit.ly/3N9MhWc

  • @tjwilliams3233
    @tjwilliams3233 Рік тому +1

    😎

  • @obeylu2015
    @obeylu2015 Рік тому +1

    I’m here for manipulation I ain’t gone lie. I’m getting the money now I need the power

    • @NegotiationMastery
      @NegotiationMastery  Рік тому +3

      I'm really sorry. We do not teach manipulation. We teach collaboration through trust based influence. We believe in creating long term professional and personal relationships.

    • @JorgeGonzalez-sx7fk
      @JorgeGonzalez-sx7fk Рік тому +3

      The more you feel like you need power, the more power has power over you

    • @MACMDRB
      @MACMDRB 3 місяці тому

      No, it's, "First you get da' money, then you get da' power. Then when you get da' power, then you get da women." ua-cam.com/video/Q77o5OJhGXc/v-deo.htmlsi=R-JjziecMMsaa76A