Thank you, very interesting topic 🙏💜 Yes, I struggeled a lot with ego, many times, and i know it because i was mirror every other person, i was using that ego. The Ni is direct connection to the self what no other Type have like this, i think.
I recognize i live in an egotistical society and to be able to access experiences I need to "play" by the rules. I might in a sense lose myself into it for a bit, but when I allow myself to go back, my real authentic being is richer. I know what I want to be, I feel it. But what may seem to lead me away from it counterintuitevely is doing the opposite. I live like a pendulum where I swing far left to go back stronger to the right.
True. We do battle with the ego daily. It tries to keep us from being authentic, wants us to be a 'fake' person to meet what others want. It's hard to tell that to 'F-off' and do what you know is 'right' for you to be you. True to yourself, despite all the pressure to conform, be 'cool', or avoid censure. I think sometimes it's why we prefer solitude the most.
I want to write a comment as I haven't done so in quite a while. So let me share a little about what and how I struggle in daily life... So...Hi, I am a college student, it's my first year and things have been very different for me over the past couple of months... What I struggle with is that...people here in my classroom seem to have such clear goals and sense of self that it kinda makes me worried about if I have ever really been able to be myself while interacting with them... When I interact with others I feel like I am not really the thing I am presenting them with... it's like all the self reflection I have ever done was something unreal...So, I end up asking myself who I really am...some people may tell me that I am going through an identity crisis...which I don't think is the case... it's something very weird...
Good morning. I have to slap that ego down. I like to be reminded to get over my big bad self also trying to seriously be aware of the id and it’s confused twist in the formation of the self critical and not necessarily productive appearance.
So true. It's an almost daily struggle. I think you stated it well, so I don’t know what I could add other than if it is a challenge of a lifetime, I hope we all find our way. Sprituality in some form can help. Great topic, Ren.😊
Hi Ren, honestly, I don't have a clue about what to say on this or in what direction I want to express my thoughts. It feels strange because when I look at your other INFJ videos, I can relate and understand. But this time, I have no direction to lead my thoughts in, if that makes any sense. Okay, to talk about myself, I think I have the intentions to be kind, understanding, and patient. I also want to be true to myself, in the sense that I want to be a good person. When I say I want to be true to myself, I think I am thinking of my values to be kind and caring. Also, this week I have tried to minimise social interactions and have some solitude to reflect on my life, gain energy, and find my sense of self again because I've felt a little drained this week. So when in solitude, I noticed my confidence coming back up. When I say my confidence was coming back up, I think I feel like I had enough time to reflect on my interactions with others and learn the lessons from the recent experiences I had with others. The reason why I feel like I am recovering myself is that I have more time to spend analysing things about how I feel and my life, without distracting this process by diverting my attention to other people. So, in a sense, I feel like giving my introverted intuition to work without distractions gives me a sense of self because it helps me understand my feelings and my life. Does that make any sense? So I think maybe that is what you meant by INFJ getting a sense of self through Ni. Okay, to use an analogy to understand my sense of self: let's say I am baking a cake. Only when the cake is fully baked is it ready to be presented as a whole. Only then will you know what the intended idea of the cake was, what it is, and what it is supposed to look like (sort of the direction they were going with the cake). Now, let's say someone stops the cake from baking when it is in the oven. Now, we will not know what the final form of the cake was supposed to look like. Okay, the final baked cake in this analogy is the sense of self, and the process of baking is introverted intuition (Ni) doing its thing (analysing or work in progress). So when I show up without giving enough time to analyse and think about life, without giving enough time for Ni to come to a conclusion, then I feel like I show up as an unfinished product (a cake not baked and isn't ready yet), my final form isn't ready yet. So people will not see me for who I am and who I want to be because I haven't had enough time to analyse and come to a conclusion, and the final form is not available yet. So I think solitude from time to time gives me a sense of self, and I feel confident because I give enough time for Ni to form its conclusions and allows me to make decisions with confidence. Okay, I started by saying I didn't know what to say, and here I am rambling and obviously coming to a conclusion 😂😂. Interesting! Anyways, so yeah, for me, the sense of self is being clear about what I learn about life and how to act, being kind and caring, and living life according to my values, being honest, etc... I still need time to think about ego. Anyways, thanks for your video as always Ren 😊. If anyone has read this far, I hope you have a wonderful day. And I hope you got something useful from this long long comment/message, lol.
Maybe using physical and metaphysical or concrete and platonic rather than ego and self would be more in line with how these terms are generally used. Anyway, as an INTJ, I can have a hard time taking anything that happens around me seriously, as if I cannot tell whether I am dealing with the current reality or just a particular instance of many possibilities. But I wouldn't really make a moral distinction between engaging in current reality or with the metaphysical, maybe I would even say that you cannot make a moral judgement without the reality. For example, imagine if your wife was pregnant and you felt the need to protect her in that vulnerable state. This desire would only make sense in the context of what is happening in the real world. If we didn't have desires, interests and conflicts with other people, there wouldn't really be any content in the relationships and in the moral judgements.
Hi Ren. I spent 20 years in rooms of recovery, mastering the skills of my INFJ personality. This is only in retrospect I can say that. Getting rid of your ego, is one of the biggest sober challenges. And observing ego douche bags around me for so long, were great teaching tools for me. I knew what I did/did not like, and WHO I did/did not like, and also WHAT I did/did not want to BE like. I think I figured it out well before I departed the fellowship 2 years ago now. Ego is the least of my problems. I've been in the INFJ rabbit hole for a while now, and I've spent months studying and journaling my personal insights of the past 20 years. It is remarkable. I also deleted all my social media accounts, (save You Tube) so I no longer deal with that maelstrom of crap.
Thank you, very interesting topic 🙏💜 Yes, I struggeled a lot with ego, many times, and i know it because i was mirror every other person, i was using that ego. The Ni is direct connection to the self what no other Type have like this, i think.
I recognize i live in an egotistical society and to be able to access experiences I need to "play" by the rules.
I might in a sense lose myself into it for a bit, but when I allow myself to go back, my real authentic being is richer.
I know what I want to be, I feel it.
But what may seem to lead me away from it counterintuitevely is doing the opposite.
I live like a pendulum where I swing far left to go back stronger to the right.
True. We do battle with the ego daily. It tries to keep us from being authentic, wants us to be a 'fake' person to meet what others want. It's hard to tell that to 'F-off' and do what you know is 'right' for you to be you. True to yourself, despite all the pressure to conform, be 'cool', or avoid censure. I think sometimes it's why we prefer solitude the most.
I can really relate to this it’s like you described my daily experience, and how painful it feels when I’m not honouring my authenticity. Thanks🙏🏻
I want to write a comment as I haven't done so in quite a while. So let me share a little about what and how I struggle in daily life...
So...Hi, I am a college student, it's my first year and things have been very different for me over the past couple of months...
What I struggle with is that...people here in my classroom seem to have such clear goals and sense of self that it kinda makes me worried about if I have ever really been able to be myself while interacting with them... When I interact with others I feel like I am not really the thing I am presenting them with... it's like all the self reflection I have ever done was something unreal...So, I end up asking myself who I really am...some people may tell me that I am going through an identity crisis...which I don't think is the case... it's something very weird...
Good morning. I have to slap that ego down. I like to be reminded to get over my big bad self also trying to seriously be aware of the id and it’s confused twist in the formation of the self critical and not necessarily productive appearance.
So true. It's an almost daily struggle. I think you stated it well, so I don’t know what I could add other than if it is a challenge of a lifetime, I hope we all find our way. Sprituality in some form can help. Great topic, Ren.😊
Hi Ren, honestly, I don't have a clue about what to say on this or in what direction I want to express my thoughts. It feels strange because when I look at your other INFJ videos, I can relate and understand. But this time, I have no direction to lead my thoughts in, if that makes any sense.
Okay, to talk about myself, I think I have the intentions to be kind, understanding, and patient. I also want to be true to myself, in the sense that I want to be a good person. When I say I want to be true to myself, I think I am thinking of my values to be kind and caring.
Also, this week I have tried to minimise social interactions and have some solitude to reflect on my life, gain energy, and find my sense of self again because I've felt a little drained this week. So when in solitude, I noticed my confidence coming back up.
When I say my confidence was coming back up, I think I feel like I had enough time to reflect on my interactions with others and learn the lessons from the recent experiences I had with others.
The reason why I feel like I am recovering myself is that I have more time to spend analysing things about how I feel and my life, without distracting this process by diverting my attention to other people. So, in a sense, I feel like giving my introverted intuition to work without distractions gives me a sense of self because it helps me understand my feelings and my life. Does that make any sense? So I think maybe that is what you meant by INFJ getting a sense of self through Ni.
Okay, to use an analogy to understand my sense of self: let's say I am baking a cake. Only when the cake is fully baked is it ready to be presented as a whole. Only then will you know what the intended idea of the cake was, what it is, and what it is supposed to look like (sort of the direction they were going with the cake).
Now, let's say someone stops the cake from baking when it is in the oven. Now, we will not know what the final form of the cake was supposed to look like.
Okay, the final baked cake in this analogy is the sense of self, and the process of baking is introverted intuition (Ni) doing its thing (analysing or work in progress).
So when I show up without giving enough time to analyse and think about life, without giving enough time for Ni to come to a conclusion, then I feel like I show up as an unfinished product (a cake not baked and isn't ready yet), my final form isn't ready yet. So people will not see me for who I am and who I want to be because I haven't had enough time to analyse and come to a conclusion, and the final form is not available yet.
So I think solitude from time to time gives me a sense of self, and I feel confident because I give enough time for Ni to form its conclusions and allows me to make decisions with confidence.
Okay, I started by saying I didn't know what to say, and here I am rambling and obviously coming to a conclusion 😂😂. Interesting!
Anyways, so yeah, for me, the sense of self is being clear about what I learn about life and how to act, being kind and caring, and living life according to my values, being honest, etc...
I still need time to think about ego.
Anyways, thanks for your video as always Ren 😊.
If anyone has read this far, I hope you have a wonderful day. And I hope you got something useful from this long long comment/message, lol.
Maybe using physical and metaphysical or concrete and platonic rather than ego and self would be more in line with how these terms are generally used. Anyway, as an INTJ, I can have a hard time taking anything that happens around me seriously, as if I cannot tell whether I am dealing with the current reality or just a particular instance of many possibilities. But I wouldn't really make a moral distinction between engaging in current reality or with the metaphysical, maybe I would even say that you cannot make a moral judgement without the reality. For example, imagine if your wife was pregnant and you felt the need to protect her in that vulnerable state. This desire would only make sense in the context of what is happening in the real world. If we didn't have desires, interests and conflicts with other people, there wouldn't really be any content in the relationships and in the moral judgements.
Talking to spoons
Hi Ren. I spent 20 years in rooms of recovery, mastering the skills of my INFJ personality. This is only in retrospect I can say that. Getting rid of your ego, is one of the biggest sober challenges. And observing ego douche bags around me for so long, were great teaching tools for me. I knew what I did/did not like, and WHO I did/did not like, and also WHAT I did/did not want to BE like. I think I figured it out well before I departed the fellowship 2 years ago now. Ego is the least of my problems. I've been in the INFJ rabbit hole for a while now, and I've spent months studying and journaling my personal insights of the past 20 years. It is remarkable. I also deleted all my social media accounts, (save You Tube) so I no longer deal with that maelstrom of crap.