If I get another $69 in Patreon donations this month then Ill make sure Henry Cavil Hentai is created. I Promise : www.patreon.com/majorkill Also I 100% am gonna become a Custodian at 100k subs so prepare yourselves for that Join the Discord so I can ping you when I upload videos which I have been told is super annoying : discord.gg/MV7HD6b
Can you make that Henry Cavill Hentai with either a Slaaneshi keeper of secrets, A skaven brood mother, the leader of the ynnari who I can’t fucking remember her name, or saint Celestine. Also can you make Henry Gavil the Big E for this hentai piece. Because it would be those thots showing their “faith” 😉 to the emperor. 😏😏😏😈😈😈😈
You didnt mentioned the fun tidbit about some few custodes seeking out individuals they believe to have an important role in the future of the Imperium and protecting them until they fulfill their destiny. Like, imagine being some random guardsman and suddenly out of nowhere comes this giant golden statue that just follows you everywhere because it believes that youll be more than some cannon fodder one day.
I remember there was a lieutenant who was about to be executed by a commissar, only for the Custodes to protect him until he won the battle they were in. After the Custodes left, the commissar shot the lieutenant.
So in the 1st 41k Talons of the Emperor book, there is this whole thing about the High Lords of Terra debating if they should repeal a law to allow the Custodes to go around saving everyone. They find out afterwards, that the Custodes were just ignoring them the whole time and doing whatever they wanted.
@@dannygelbart6827 not only they have no power over the custodes in matters regarding the palace(their actual job), but the Captain General is one of the high lords, so why would he allow his organizatino ot be pushed around.
Custodian: dies Traitor:Oh my god.... i did it.... I FUC-ING DID IT! Custodian: Ya done jumping around? ( Pices of brain falling out ) Traitor:WHAT THE FU-
imperial guard: we are going to die! Astartes: don't worry kid, i'll clean the whole battlefield Custodes: don't worry kids, i'll clean the whole star system
@@ninocuric5290 Gal Vorbak is getting their souls perpetually raped in the Warp after being combat raped on the battlefield by Custodes and Corax. So yeah, Chaos sucks balls.
Nah. Angron, Lorgar, AND Erebus ALL should have been aborted. And yes I mean that. Even if Erebus isn't a Primarch he STILL should have been aborted. Oh, and the Emperor should have given Magnus an instinctual hatred of Daemons that would make even Angron with his Butchers Nails in full effect cower in abject terror were Daemons ever even so much as _mentioned_ in Magnus' presence, and would absolutely DWARF his hatred of the Space Wolves in If The Emperor Had a Text to Speech Device. That would have solved a lot of issues as well, I think. Would have probably also _caused_ a shit load of _other_ issues too, but at least he would have never accidentally broken the Human Web Way the Emperor was building.
My new favorite poem: "Nurgle will take a shower, Khorne will overcome his anger management, Slaanesh will swear a vow celibacy, and Tzeentch will stop playing monopoly, before a custodian will fall to chaos" 10/10
I swear the Custodes are some of the most op warriors in the imperium and I love it. It fits 40k so much the fact that the god emperor has a bodyguard makes you wonder why anyone tried to fight them
To be fair, the people who tried to fight him were literal gods, his sons, or in the unification Wars on Terra, people who didn't have a choice but to fight
Eyy Solitaires fight greater daemons and play with them until they can kill them for the most dramatic effect. To me they have every right to dismantle rand and file Custodes
@@qballa2787 yup, people think harlequins are just silly clowns because GW will never give them tabletop rules that reflect the impossibly immense level of skill they're supposed to have. Harlequins are the custodes equivalent of the eldar race.
4:34 that custodian (named Vendatha) killed a 3 word bearers in 3 seconds, took bolter rounds to the face followed by a thrown sword to the face. Yup he was still alive and Lorgar used him as a sacrifice to summon a demon by having said custodes impaled. "The first heretic".
Vendatha was already in motion. The golden warrior leapt at the primarch, guardian spear spinning in his fists, an oath to the Emperor on his lips. Four Word Bearers blocked his path, and those four Word Bearers had to die. Rikus was the first to fall. The Custodian’s blade crunched into the soft, jointed armour at the Chaplain’s throat, punching from the back of his neck. Tsar Quorel died next, decapitated with a buzzing sweep of the energised blade, dead before he’d pulled his trigger. Deumos managed to fire a stream of bolt shells, none of which connected. Vendatha weaved left, thudded the base of his spear into the Chapter Master’s bolter, knocking it aside, and followed with a cutting swing that sheared both the Word Bearer’s hands from his body, severing them at the forearms. Deumos had a scarce moment to draw in a stunned gasp before the spear sliced again, this time cleaving through his collarbone and spine, ripping his head free. Vendatha span the blade in his hands, letting it come to rest with the tip and gun barrel aimed at Lorgar’s heart again. Behind the Custodian, the bodies crashed to the ground in slow succession. Three seconds had passed. Argel Tal was picking himself off the floor. Only Xaphen stood between the primarch and his attacker, but the Chaplain had used the scant, precious seconds to draw his bolter, which he aimed squarely at Vendatha’s faceplate. ‘Hold,’ he warned. ‘Lorgar, Seventeenth Son of the Emperor, surrender yourself into my custody at once.’ ‘You killed my sons,’ Lorgar covered his mouth with a hand. ‘They had never wronged you. Not once. Is this what my father’s mandate allows you to do? To slaughter my sons if I do not dance to his ignorant tune?’ ‘Surrender yourself,’ the Custodian repeated. Vendatha had fought at the Emperor’s side many times before. Always writ upon the Lord of Man’s face was an unbreakable defiance, all emotion suppressed beneath the mask of stoic perfection. Lorgar didn’t share his father’s capacity to conceal emotion. Hate bleached his features, and white teeth showed in a skull’s grin. ‘You dare threaten me? You murdered my sons, you soulless, worthless husk of genetic overspill.’ Vendatha squeezed the trigger again, but it was too late. Xaphen fired first. Bolt rounds hammered into the Custodian’s golden armour, beating the faceplate and chest out of shape, tearing chunks of plating away as they detonated. Each suit of battle armour was individually wrought for the Custodian granted the honour to wear it, and despite their finery, Custodes armour was a step beyond the mass-produced wargear used by the Astartes Legions. Even so, the burst of bolter shells to the head and upper torso was almost enough to kill the warrior outright. Vendatha staggered back, the guardian spear falling from slack fingers and crashing to the stone. Even with his face a burned and bleeding ruin, even with his helm wrecked and its twisted metal digging into his broken skull, he stared through the one eye that still worked. Xaphen reloaded. The primarch did nothing. The naked maiden tugged at Lorgar’s robe sleeve, imploring him to continue with the heathen rite, warning of the gods’ anger if he didn’t. Vendatha reached for his fallen spear. Wait. Where is Argel T- The sword of red iron flew like a javelin, cracking Vendatha’s remaining teeth into porcelain chips as it smashed into his closed mouth. Two metres of shimmering blade lanced from the back of the Custodian’s head, while most of the warrior’s ruined face was covered by the hilt and handle protruding from his open jaws. As Rikus, Tsar Quorel and Deumos had done only moments before, Vendatha crashed to the ground, felled by an Imperial blade. Xaphen released a breath. ‘Nicely done, brother.’ The Chaplain had no warning, for Argel Tal struck without any. The captain’s fist crashed into Xaphen’s jaw, throwing him to the ground. ‘Brother?’ from his place on the stone floor, the Chaplain stared up at Argel Tal’s fury. ‘We have just killed one of the Emperor’s own guardians, and your eulogy in this moment is “Nicely done, brother”? Are you insane? We stand upon the edge of heresy against the Imperium. Sire, we have to leave this place. We must speak with Aquillon, and-’ ‘Retrieve your blade,’ ordered the primarch. Lorgar stared into the middle distance, paying little heed to what unfolded before his eyes. His voice barely lifted above a whisper. Argel Tal approached with slow steps, taking his second sword back without gentleness, yanking it from the corpse’s jaws. He froze as Vendatha’s remaining eye followed him, and the body’s fingers twitched. ‘Blood of the… Sire, he’s still alive,’ Argel Tal called back.
Is kitten a lost Primarch. Is he actually Constantin Valdor. Is he a man of gold of old legend. Is he a lost shard of the emperors soul. Is he secretly Omegon the second Primarch of the alpha. We will find out in the next installment of GOLDEN DADDY BOIS IN SPACE!!!!!!!!
"nurgle will take a shower, khorne will overcome his angry management, slaanesh will swear a vow of salvacy and tzeentch wil stop playing Monopoly before a custodian falls into chaos" Majorkill 2020
I'm going to take a moment to thank this community greatly I've been very low lately as I've reccently been though a break up from a long time relationship and it's been difficult to wake up each day. I always get a smile when I see these vids hit my notifications. Thanks for sharing the love Major. P.s I was here when you had less than 5K xD. Companions Club for life 😃
One of the things I find pretty funny is that when someone like an imperial guardsman has been forseen to do something sick in the future, they get a massive 9 foot bodyguard custodes walking around them which they have no idea why he's there
And sometimes not even just one. A company commander of the guard was on grounds to be executed for cowardice by a commissar, and the dude got a WHOLE ASS SHIELD COMPANY of the Aquilan Shield Host guarding him until he saw that war to a win
Can you imagine a custodes having to see the grey knights purging regular citizens only for him to be pissed off? Man that’s a fight of the ages if they care enough
I believe the Grey Knights would not fight, but kneel to the Custodes and accept any losses taken. The Custodes are second only to the Emperor and his Sons, why would you dare ask otherwise to them?
oh yes the one time in War of the Beast when the Eldar killed the Custodes so bloody easy... I was pretty new to Franchies but even back then I was like... wait wtf arent these duds suppost to be super powerfull.. how did they just die like that.
War of the Beast is pretty awful in general. I don't mind Harlequins (especially Solitaires) being superior to Custodes, but fighting them on their home turf shouldn't be so easy.
Nobody stops to think that the harlequins too, are super powerful. They're the eldar equivalent of custodes. The tabletop rules just fuck them hard for the sake of balance and selling as many boxes of models as possible.
One thing you forgot to mention, is that while the Custodes are now running around the galaxy, they still have to spend some time during their career, fighting the demonic hoards trying to enter Terra via the broken Webway. Even though Big-E sits on the Golden Throne and his corpse-will keeps the thing closed, he still needs to send killteams into the portal every so often to cull the demon herds. And not all of the Custodes survive these battles.
"The Thunder Warriors mental state decayed and they got cancer, the Astartes had Erebous, and Angron was a Primarch" That, combined with the picture of the coat hanger, made me nearly choke on my soda.
"Each one of the Ten Thousand represents genetic lore acquired over many lifetimes. Each one of you is unique, a work of art never to be repeated. I am miserly with your lives, where I would spend so many others without a thought." -Big E
My favorite bit of Custodes lore is when the Brazen Drakes chapter were throwing a hissy fit but the Custodes basically said "I missed the part where that's my problem"
Holy Emperor, no Custodias has *ever* fallen to chaos? That's freaking amazing, especially since the "chaos" gods are basically manifestations of the human/astarte condition and cosmic balance.
The daemon of the first murder, the one that could posses an titan and almost killed the emperor, said that stars would die before he could corrupt an custodes
Awesome as always my man. You should definitely do a Sisters if Silence Lore explanation video to round out the 3 Factions most closely tied to the Emperor personally. An Adepta Sororitas video would also make a precursor/sequel video for them too. Then, Since you’ve only recently done a lore video on the other 2 factions (Grey Knights and now the Custodes), that really only leaves the other arms of the Inquisition, the Assassins and the good old Imperial meatshields.... I mean Imperial Guard. If you were to cover them all in seperate videos (maybe even doing one on the Lords of Terra.... even if most people couldn’t give a fuck about their BS politicking - since their only noteworthy achievement to this day is having Malcagor The Sick Cunt as a one time member of their organisation), it would be really cool to take all the factions loyal to the Emperor of Mankind and then rank them/pit them against each other to see who is the most powerful and influential of all of them and of course, who would win in a fight.... because we always need to know that. Y’know, who’d win in a fight between baseline members, then the named members then the top of the food chain members. And then how all of them stack up to the Primarchs, and maybe even the Big E himself..... ok maybe more in a sense of “how many of (X) would it take to overwhelm the Big E or something, we know he’d destroy any of them 1v1.
A few legions of Custodes and the galaxy, as you say, get clapped well and truly. Custodes can eliminate Astartes within a few seconds. That is awesome.
The Blood Games are pretty hardcore, yes, but I'm concerned about the Custode's abundant use of body oil to defeat their opponents. Surely there is a more efficient way?
Imagine just being a random janitor in the imperial palace, minding your own business and suddenly a carnifex is running at you chased by a dozen half naked castodies...
It's funny you mentioned the comparison between Custodes and Grey Knights. Back in the early 2000s, when I got into 40k, the Grey Knights were my favorite Space Marines (I think they still are), but I always felt like the whole reason they got made was the Custodes. At the time, we couldn't expect Custodes miniatures, so they gave us Grey Knights, instead. Instead of brilliant gold, they were super-shiny silver; just a step down from #1, and STILL heavily embellished. Like the Custodes, they had super-spears, but since those Nemesis-force halbreds didn't have integrated bolters, their armor did, instead, meaning they could still two-hand their spears. To make up for not being Custodes, they were all psykers, and had powers. They could've all had invul saves, but instead had the Shrouding, which made them harder to hit, and since their spears were Force, they could insta-kill things even Astartes would struggle against. As "what Space Marines are to Guardsmen", but to Space Marines, I always felt that Grey Knights were intended to be Custodes-light.
Henry just left the Witcher because they weren't being loyal to the books and games the real source material Henry Cavill is a based gigachad And he had better be cast in it if there's ever a Warhammer 40k show or movie
Imagine the rebirth of the Emperor. ... _Imagine ten thousand Custodes following his path through whatever dares to stand in his way._ *_Actually don't, you're not allowed to imagine such glorious scenes of divine glory, by decree of the High Lords of Terra._*
What if Malice is actually the great horned. Both destroy everything around them including themselves both of them revel in pure evil and destruction and ruin. Both are arguably the most evil of the chaos gods. Both have followers who do everything right and wrong for themselves at the same time.
They should include Minor Chaos Gods in Chaos Lore. That way Demon Princes and Greater Daemons can have something else to compare to instead of just the Demon Primarchs.
If I get another $69 in Patreon donations this month then Ill make sure Henry Cavil Hentai is created. I Promise : www.patreon.com/majorkill
Also I 100% am gonna become a Custodian at 100k subs so prepare yourselves for that
Join the Discord so I can ping you when I upload videos which I have been told is super annoying : discord.gg/MV7HD6b
You should do a Custodes giveaway.
With GW closed I'll pay you to send me some
Can you make that Henry Cavill Hentai with either a Slaaneshi keeper of secrets, A skaven brood mother, the leader of the ynnari who I can’t fucking remember her name, or saint Celestine. Also can you make Henry Gavil the Big E for this hentai piece. Because it would be those thots showing their “faith” 😉 to the emperor. 😏😏😏😈😈😈😈
@@LordXarius Just take a pic of Guilliman screwing Yvraine and photshop Henry's face on him ang fool can do it
@@LordXarius Baby I love how you think 😈
Henry cavil hentai with aeldari sluts.
You didnt mentioned the fun tidbit about some few custodes seeking out individuals they believe to have an important role in the future of the Imperium and protecting them until they fulfill their destiny.
Like, imagine being some random guardsman and suddenly out of nowhere comes this giant golden statue that just follows you everywhere because it believes that youll be more than some cannon fodder one day.
So… Jurgen is in secret a custodian that protected Caphias Cain?
Sounds plausible.
@@carlosdgutierrez6570 it would explain why Jurgen faces down everything from genestealers to necron with zero fucks given.
Damn, a literal guardian angle from the God Emperor himself.
I remember there was a lieutenant who was about to be executed by a commissar, only for the Custodes to protect him until he won the battle they were in. After the Custodes left, the commissar shot the lieutenant.
@@robertnelson9599 Oof daym
A chad speaking about chads that are painted by chads, these chad protect a really big chad
chadstodies
Hold reverence for the Chadgod Emperor of Chadkind!
We are reaching chad levels that shouldn’t even be possible
Chadtopia
Has anyone been to Chad?
So in the 1st 41k Talons of the Emperor book, there is this whole thing about the High Lords of Terra debating if they should repeal a law to allow the Custodes to go around saving everyone. They find out afterwards, that the Custodes were just ignoring them the whole time and doing whatever they wanted.
Ever wonder if the Officio Assassinorum had any help with “The Beheading” during the War of the Beast?
As they should since the High Lords don't have any power over the Custodes.
@@dannygelbart6827 not only they have no power over the custodes in matters regarding the palace(their actual job), but the Captain General is one of the high lords, so why would he allow his organizatino ot be pushed around.
@@Teixas666 Actually the GC isn't always a High Lord (usually it's the case though).
@@dannygelbart6827 Could the CG of the Custodes order the execution of the high lords of terra and no one bat an eye?
The custodian who had his head messed up actually survived... Total Unit.
Custodian: dies
Traitor:Oh my god.... i did it.... I FUC-ING DID IT!
Custodian: Ya done jumping around? ( Pices of brain falling out )
Traitor:WHAT THE FU-
"i ain't hear no bell"
Ah the custodes, the emperors glorious golden janitors
Eyyaaayyyaaaayaaayyeeeeee......Pillarstodes. Or rather the Fabulous Custodes.
Emperor's golden corncob
Our Armor is ment to flex on the enemies before we crush them in the Name of the Emperor.
well they do take out the trash
Yep, A thunder warrior once accurately described a custode as he lay dying.
“Custodes are Lions, while Astartes are Wolves.”
*ANGRY DARK ANGLE NOISES!!*
Space Wolves good boy noises 😀😀😀
*Asssssmmooooodaaaiiiiii!!!... MAKE THEM REPENT!!!*
Asmodai: *REEEEEEPPPPPEEEEEENNNNNTTTTTTT!!!!!!!*
Ah yes, the Dark Angles. A successor chapter of the Dark Angels known to be very proficient Billiards players.
Dark angles? Is that like some HP Lovecraft shit.
It's nice to think that Kitten is one of the most formidable warriors in the 40K universe
Kitten is a glorified armored potatoe chip
He killed so thunder warriors not feel bad about it and read so much not go crazy.
Thank you citizen
Was*
RAWR!
imperial guard: we are going to die!
Astartes: don't worry kid, i'll clean the whole battlefield
Custodes: don't worry kids, i'll clean the whole star system
Gal Vorbak has a laugh
@@ninocuric5290 Gal Vorbak is getting their souls perpetually raped in the Warp after being combat raped on the battlefield by Custodes and Corax. So yeah, Chaos sucks balls.
They did well against the Custodes
Corax got his ass handed to him by Konrad
The Custodes were decimated by Khornate Daemons during the Great Rift
@@betchersgland7236 they raped them in the First Heretic , Argel Tal rip them apart
Nino Curic you mean when 10 Gal Vorbak Jumped 3 Custodes After they had just crashed from escaping Treachery? Stop it in a 1v1 No chance.....
I declare Henry Caville, first of his name, The Witcher, Superman, Superspy, King of the Nerds and Geeks. Long may he reign.
Long may he reign!
Long may he reign!
Long may he reign!
Long may he reign!
Long may he reign!
Games Workshop: How powerful do you want your personal guard to be ?
God Emperor of Mankind: Yes
That's more of a Rogal Dorn answer.
@@momqabt
Where do you think Rogal Dorn gets it from? Like father like son and all that.
@@noneofyourbusiness2437 bigE is Much more well- and outspoken. Just check if the emperor had a text to speech device ;)
@@momqabt i even read that in Rogals voice. 🤦🏻♂️
Looks like Big E based the Custodes on His days watching Jojo, and His obsession with gold.
A golden experience
@@daniellison9182 more like a Bizarre Adventure.
I give this comment a Goldstar
@@GenericHeretic I'd give it a.... Joestar
"OH NO"
The Emperor's reaction when he saw the Custodes 10 millenia later.
I'd watch Henry play the Big E on the big or small screen... then again, I'd watch Henry just play a game of 40k at this point.
I’d watch him paint miniatures.
Have him be the Matt Mercer of 40k
I'd rather see Henry on a w40k movie
I support this.
I think Henry would suit Constantine valdor tbh
Wait, henry paints 40k, literally my favourite actor
You should see the Henry Cavill thirsty tweets video.
@@hewesy7265 i will have to look into this
You know that he nearly missed the casting call for Superman,because he was too busy playing videogames,right?
@@doublep1980 More specifically, he was in the middle of a World of Warcraft raid.
@@et3inuyasha playing as a healer
0:40
Normal 40k fans: "Just another image of the Custodes."
TTS fans: "Hey, there's kitten."
Can confirm.
Majorkill: Angron should have been aborted.
That Fabulous Custodian Wamuudes: I CAN FIX HIM!
Nah. Lorgar should have been aborted.
Nah. Angron, Lorgar, AND Erebus ALL should have been aborted. And yes I mean that. Even if Erebus isn't a Primarch he STILL should have been aborted.
Oh, and the Emperor should have given Magnus an instinctual hatred of Daemons that would make even Angron with his Butchers Nails in full effect cower in abject terror were Daemons ever even so much as _mentioned_ in Magnus' presence, and would absolutely DWARF his hatred of the Space Wolves in If The Emperor Had a Text to Speech Device. That would have solved a lot of issues as well, I think. Would have probably also _caused_ a shit load of _other_ issues too, but at least he would have never accidentally broken the Human Web Way the Emperor was building.
My new favorite poem:
"Nurgle will take a shower,
Khorne will overcome his anger management,
Slaanesh will swear a vow celibacy,
and Tzeentch will stop playing monopoly,
before a custodian will fall to chaos"
10/10
I do have neat bodyguards huh?
Which of us is real?
@@theemperorofman7777 Me for sure
@@malekiththeeternityking5433 me
@@theemperorofman7777 you're all real from what TTS says your soul has been shattered so bouth of you are the emperor and also aren't
@@terrorbilly3367 right.....
I swear the Custodes are some of the most op warriors in the imperium and I love it. It fits 40k so much the fact that the god emperor has a bodyguard makes you wonder why anyone tried to fight them
To be fair, the people who tried to fight him were literal gods, his sons, or in the unification Wars on Terra, people who didn't have a choice but to fight
Chaos is a hell of a drug, kids.
Let's face it, everyone knows the Custodes because of if the Emperor had a TTS
you mean the three stripperific wonders? or the captain general
@@juliaharrell4072 All three
@@rz7282 That's the best way to get into 40k.
That and the videogames.
Which is a shame. Imagine knowing about something from a cancerous unfunny parody that everyone just copypastas.
@@DonVigaDeFierro worst*
TTS is unfunny cringe.
This harlequin who allegedly killed so many Custodies is Eldar equivalent of Cato Sicarius, or even more badly written :)
I, CATO SICARIUS, AM HIGHLY OFFENDED THAT YOU WOULD DARE COMPARE AN ELDAR TO I, CATO SICARIUS, FOR I, CATO SICARIUS, AM SUPERIOR TO ANY ELDAR
@@frenchsoldier8485 I CAST FIST!
Eyy Solitaires fight greater daemons and play with them until they can kill them for the most dramatic effect. To me they have every right to dismantle rand and file Custodes
The Beast Arises was weird...
@@qballa2787 yup, people think harlequins are just silly clowns because GW will never give them tabletop rules that reflect the impossibly immense level of skill they're supposed to have. Harlequins are the custodes equivalent of the eldar race.
"There's a quote that I will now *parafláise*" what a hero. Mans ain't using literary techniques but French cooking styles.
This guy gets it
Yo
4:34 that custodian (named Vendatha) killed a 3 word bearers in 3 seconds, took bolter rounds to the face followed by a thrown sword to the face. Yup he was still alive and Lorgar used him as a sacrifice to summon a demon by having said custodes impaled. "The first heretic".
Vendatha was already in motion. The golden warrior leapt at the primarch, guardian spear spinning in his fists, an oath to the Emperor on his lips. Four Word Bearers blocked his path, and those four Word Bearers had to die.
Rikus was the first to fall. The Custodian’s blade crunched into the soft, jointed armour at the Chaplain’s throat, punching from the back of his neck. Tsar Quorel died next, decapitated with a buzzing sweep of the energised blade, dead before he’d pulled his trigger.
Deumos managed to fire a stream of bolt shells, none of which connected. Vendatha weaved left, thudded the base of his spear into the Chapter Master’s bolter, knocking it aside, and followed with a cutting swing that sheared both the Word Bearer’s hands from his body, severing them at the forearms. Deumos had a scarce moment to draw in a stunned gasp before the spear sliced again, this time cleaving through his collarbone and spine, ripping his head free.
Vendatha span the blade in his hands, letting it come to rest with the tip and gun barrel aimed at Lorgar’s heart again. Behind the Custodian, the bodies crashed to the ground in slow succession. Three seconds had passed.
Argel Tal was picking himself off the floor. Only Xaphen stood between the primarch and his attacker, but the Chaplain had
used the scant, precious seconds to draw his bolter, which he aimed squarely at Vendatha’s faceplate.
‘Hold,’ he warned.
‘Lorgar, Seventeenth Son of the Emperor, surrender yourself into my custody at once.’
‘You killed my sons,’ Lorgar covered his mouth with a hand.
‘They had never wronged you. Not once. Is this what my father’s mandate allows you to do? To slaughter my sons if I do not
dance to his ignorant tune?’
‘Surrender yourself,’ the Custodian repeated.
Vendatha had fought at the Emperor’s side many times before. Always writ upon the Lord of Man’s face was an unbreakable
defiance, all emotion suppressed beneath the mask of stoic perfection.
Lorgar didn’t share his father’s capacity to conceal emotion. Hate bleached his features, and white teeth showed in a skull’s grin.
‘You dare threaten me? You murdered my sons, you soulless, worthless husk of genetic overspill.’
Vendatha squeezed the trigger again, but it was too late. Xaphen fired first.
Bolt rounds hammered into the Custodian’s golden armour, beating the faceplate and chest out of shape, tearing chunks of
plating away as they detonated. Each suit of battle armour was individually wrought for the Custodian granted the honour to
wear it, and despite their finery, Custodes armour was a step beyond the mass-produced wargear used by the Astartes Legions.
Even so, the burst of bolter shells to the head and upper torso was almost enough to kill the warrior outright.
Vendatha staggered back, the guardian spear falling from slack fingers and crashing to the stone. Even with his face a burned and bleeding ruin, even with his helm wrecked and its twisted metal digging into his broken skull, he stared through the one eye that still worked.
Xaphen reloaded. The primarch did nothing. The naked maiden tugged at Lorgar’s robe sleeve, imploring him to continue with the heathen rite, warning of the gods’ anger if he didn’t.
Vendatha reached for his fallen spear.
Wait. Where is Argel T-
The sword of red iron flew like a javelin, cracking Vendatha’s remaining teeth into porcelain chips as it smashed into his closed mouth. Two metres of shimmering blade lanced from the back of the Custodian’s head, while most of the warrior’s ruined face was covered by the hilt and handle protruding from his open
jaws.
As Rikus, Tsar Quorel and Deumos had done only moments before, Vendatha crashed to the ground, felled by an Imperial blade.
Xaphen released a breath. ‘Nicely done, brother.’
The Chaplain had no warning, for Argel Tal struck without any. The captain’s fist crashed into Xaphen’s jaw, throwing him to the ground.
‘Brother?’ from his place on the stone floor, the Chaplain stared up at Argel Tal’s fury.
‘We have just killed one of the Emperor’s own guardians, and your eulogy in this moment is “Nicely done, brother”? Are you insane? We stand upon the edge of heresy against the Imperium.
Sire, we have to leave this place. We must speak with Aquillon,
and-’
‘Retrieve your blade,’ ordered the primarch. Lorgar stared into the middle distance, paying little heed to what unfolded before
his eyes. His voice barely lifted above a whisper.
Argel Tal approached with slow steps, taking his second sword back without gentleness, yanking it from the corpse’s jaws. He froze as Vendatha’s remaining eye followed him, and the body’s fingers twitched.
‘Blood of the… Sire, he’s still alive,’ Argel Tal called back.
@@terryhughes1649 best part , don’t forget the gal vorbak rip them apart
Chaos Marine: *Gets fucking kidnapped and dropped on terra*
Chaos Marine: "Wow I'm so fucked..."
Custodes: *YOU PICKED THE WRONG HOUSE, FOOL!*
“And Big E became Steven Hawking”
I literally choked on my drink from how hard that caught me off guard.
"Oumaijama mo shimb-"
*gets head cut off*
"YOU HERETICS THINK DEATH CAN KILL ME?"
You think ill die if you kill me
I guess from that. Decaptation isn't enough to kill them, I guess they have a brain somewhere innit ?
i watched so many TTS i instantly played the Pillarmen theme in my mind
[Some Azte... CUSTODIAN noises]
Ayyyy Yaaaa Yaaa Yaaaaaaaaaaaa....
Umm Ummm uMMMMMM My GLORIOUS OVERLORD. THE EMPEROR of MANKIND
TTS is unfunny cringe. You have my condolences.
@@MansMan42069 My heresy meter broke because this comment
Is kitten a lost Primarch. Is he actually Constantin Valdor. Is he a man of gold of old legend. Is he a lost shard of the emperors soul. Is he secretly Omegon the second Primarch of the alpha. We will find out in the next installment of GOLDEN DADDY BOIS IN SPACE!!!!!!!!
Dr. Omnis it’s already been confirmed that kitten isn’t valdor
Can Kitten be replicated entirely out of cyber dongs?
Kitten is, in fact, not a primarch, but a felinid in custodes armor
Honestly him being Omegon would explain a lot
May be he is the combined essence if the Two Lost Primarchs..
Our golden banana boys. Where their most base formation is more powerful than any GK elites.
Haha gal vorbak
@@argeltalthecustodiankiller6552 They still murdered them to near extinction.
"nurgle will take a shower, khorne will overcome his angry management, slaanesh will swear a vow of salvacy and tzeentch wil stop playing Monopoly before a custodian falls into chaos" Majorkill 2020
*vow of Celibacy
you absolutely butchered it
The fact that Henry Cavill likes 40k is pretty nice!
I'm going to take a moment to thank this community greatly
I've been very low lately as I've reccently been though a break up
from a long time relationship and it's been difficult to wake up each day.
I always get a smile when I see these vids hit my notifications.
Thanks for sharing the love Major.
P.s I was here when you had less than 5K xD.
Companions Club for life 😃
0:39 hey look, its kitten in a group picture with his co-workers
This is the chaddest video i have ever seen.
*[OILED ABS INTENSIFIES!]*
One of the things I find pretty funny is that when someone like an imperial guardsman has been forseen to do something sick in the future, they get a massive 9 foot bodyguard custodes walking around them which they have no idea why he's there
And sometimes not even just one. A company commander of the guard was on grounds to be executed for cowardice by a commissar, and the dude got a WHOLE ASS SHIELD COMPANY of the Aquilan Shield Host guarding him until he saw that war to a win
kid asks Henry: are you the emperor?
Custodian Cavill: IS THAT A JOKE?
"i hope they dont do our golden boys dirty"... it happend. he knew it would happen.
Immersive Sexy Cat sounds in background. 😍😍 This is a reference to kitten.
"The Emperor became Steven Hawkings"
🤣 Im dead!!!
Can you imagine a custodes having to see the grey knights purging regular citizens only for him to be pissed off? Man that’s a fight of the ages if they care enough
The Grey knights would be absolutely whooped
I believe the Grey Knights would not fight, but kneel to the Custodes and accept any losses taken.
The Custodes are second only to the Emperor and his Sons, why would you dare ask otherwise to them?
If we dye his hair and make him wear a laurel. He could totally pass for papa blue.
For a second I thought you were thinking he should be Valerian
40k has such deep lore, the tyranids are dope another vid on them would be cool
Your videos are not only informative but always a massive laugh, few beers watching your vids makes a solid evening, keep it up man!
4:22
"Bro, you're dead!"
"Nope"
They are a bunch of naked oiled up strippers that the Emperor regrettably calls his companions.
Most of them, not all of them.
The companions are a special sub group. Pretty much the first company of the custodes
The Custodes are the only people bar Malcador himself that the Emperor ever actually gave a shit about
can we get Henry Cavil to voice the Captain General when he gets in a fight?
When he showed Kitten I immediately went "It's our booooy!"
oh yes the one time in War of the Beast when the Eldar killed the Custodes so bloody easy... I was pretty new to Franchies but even back then I was like... wait wtf arent these duds suppost to be super powerfull.. how did they just die like that.
War of the Beast is pretty awful in general. I don't mind Harlequins (especially Solitaires) being superior to Custodes, but fighting them on their home turf shouldn't be so easy.
Nobody stops to think that the harlequins too, are super powerful. They're the eldar equivalent of custodes. The tabletop rules just fuck them hard for the sake of balance and selling as many boxes of models as possible.
Sick video. Thanks for the content
“A Custodian has never fallen to Chaos”
*Laughs in Rogue Trader and Retcons*
Explain pls
@@bobross7005 one because of Drach'nyen
New to the actual table top game, but been a fan of the lore for a while.
You’ve convinced me. Custodes will be the first army I’m gonna build.
2 years later your thumbnail becomes reality. lol
One thing you forgot to mention, is that while the Custodes are now running around the galaxy, they still have to spend some time during their career, fighting the demonic hoards trying to enter Terra via the broken Webway. Even though Big-E sits on the Golden Throne and his corpse-will keeps the thing closed, he still needs to send killteams into the portal every so often to cull the demon herds. And not all of the Custodes survive these battles.
"The Thunder Warriors mental state decayed and they got cancer, the Astartes had Erebous, and Angron was a Primarch"
That, combined with the picture of the coat hanger, made me nearly choke on my soda.
Literally no one:
Custodes: Did someone say oil? *Pillar Men Theme*
Space Marines: Deluxe Edition
Inquisitor - i order you to destroy that city
Grey knight - YES SIR!
Custodes - hahah you have no power here
"Each one of the Ten Thousand represents genetic lore acquired over many lifetimes. Each one of you is unique, a work of art never to be repeated. I am miserly with your lives, where I would spend so many others without a thought." -Big E
My favorite bit of Custodes lore is when the Brazen Drakes chapter were throwing a hissy fit but the Custodes basically said "I missed the part where that's my problem"
Holy Emperor, no Custodias has *ever* fallen to chaos?
That's freaking amazing, especially since the "chaos" gods are basically manifestations of the human/astarte condition and cosmic balance.
The daemon of the first murder, the one that could posses an titan and almost killed the emperor, said that stars would die before he could corrupt an custodes
Too bad the custodians arnt human
100,000 Orks: Ay yer goooona loseeee
New Custodes: So... this is a normal fight?
Old Custodes: Yeah. Just play around with them lil guy
Awesome as always my man. You should definitely do a Sisters if Silence Lore explanation video to round out the 3 Factions most closely tied to the Emperor personally. An Adepta Sororitas video would also make a precursor/sequel video for them too. Then, Since you’ve only recently done a lore video on the other 2 factions (Grey Knights and now the Custodes), that really only leaves the other arms of the Inquisition, the Assassins and the good old Imperial meatshields.... I mean Imperial Guard. If you were to cover them all in seperate videos (maybe even doing one on the Lords of Terra.... even if most people couldn’t give a fuck about their BS politicking - since their only noteworthy achievement to this day is having Malcagor The Sick Cunt as a one time member of their organisation), it would be really cool to take all the factions loyal to the Emperor of Mankind and then rank them/pit them against each other to see who is the most powerful and influential of all of them and of course, who would win in a fight.... because we always need to know that. Y’know, who’d win in a fight between baseline members, then the named members then the top of the food chain members. And then how all of them stack up to the Primarchs, and maybe even the Big E himself..... ok maybe more in a sense of “how many of (X) would it take to overwhelm the Big E or something, we know he’d destroy any of them 1v1.
If the Custodes gone into battle and brought a flashlight they'd be walking flashbangs
00:49 I SEE KITTEN
HAIL THE GLORIOUS TALKING STAR FRUIT!
Hello brother. What brings you here ?
A few legions of Custodes and the galaxy, as you say, get clapped well and truly.
Custodes can eliminate Astartes within a few seconds. That is awesome.
If you close your eyes, it's Magnus embellishing Captain-General Kitten, the Fabulous Custodes, and all other Custodes
Dude your delivery is heckin HILARIOUS. Thanks
A custodian has never fallen to chaos...just like they have never lost a battle
Theirs being chained and shoved into fire then willingly walking into fire
Chaos Warlord: "You are willing to die for you *corpse*emperor?"
Custodes: "Why that is in fact very job description!"
2:16 *UUUUH GUYS APPARENTLY TZEENTCH IS PRONOUNCED 'TIT-STITCH' NOW*
Maybe it is, maybe it isn't, what is maybe anyways? Maybe maybe isn't what maybe means?
That moment when the person who just crushed a Custodes head pisses himself in fear while the Custodes stares at him.
The Blood Games are pretty hardcore, yes, but I'm concerned about the Custode's abundant use of body oil to defeat their opponents. Surely there is a more efficient way?
I’m delighted you mentioned the “lions vs. wolves” analogy. The Word Bearers’ reaction to this concept was funny!
So adeptus Custodes is basically multiple Henry Cavills.
"I sleep better knowing Henry Cavill has probably seen one of my videos"
Thats some legit bragging rights
the best lore for custodes is that they treat space marines the same way they treat guardsman and regular humans in general
Imagine just being a random janitor in the imperial palace, minding your own business and suddenly a carnifex is running at you chased by a dozen half naked castodies...
5:39 Thank you ! something that's been overlooked and misunderstood for years.
ზდ ბრატ.Warhammer 40k ფანი ხარ?
This better not be an England thing 🤣🤣
Ok, they are pretty cool. You got me with the intro lol. Capturing dangerous enemies and hunting them for sport.
It's funny you mentioned the comparison between Custodes and Grey Knights. Back in the early 2000s, when I got into 40k, the Grey Knights were my favorite Space Marines (I think they still are), but I always felt like the whole reason they got made was the Custodes. At the time, we couldn't expect Custodes miniatures, so they gave us Grey Knights, instead. Instead of brilliant gold, they were super-shiny silver; just a step down from #1, and STILL heavily embellished. Like the Custodes, they had super-spears, but since those Nemesis-force halbreds didn't have integrated bolters, their armor did, instead, meaning they could still two-hand their spears. To make up for not being Custodes, they were all psykers, and had powers. They could've all had invul saves, but instead had the Shrouding, which made them harder to hit, and since their spears were Force, they could insta-kill things even Astartes would struggle against. As "what Space Marines are to Guardsmen", but to Space Marines, I always felt that Grey Knights were intended to be Custodes-light.
Considering the fact that TTS is gone now this video was nice. ESPECIALLY after the newest episode of TTS...
Adeptus Custodes have always been my favourite.
Henry just left the Witcher because they weren't being loyal to the books and games the real source material
Henry Cavill is a based gigachad
And he had better be cast in it if there's ever a Warhammer 40k show or movie
I mean, General Kitten is a Custodes, which is all we need to show supremacy
To be fair, It's REALLY hard to fall to chaos when all you do any day of the week is stand around the imperial palace looking menacing.
Seriously I been getting into 40k during this lockdown
This is Heresy, kitten is the one true leader of our goldie boys
God EMPEROR! I wish I were a Custodes!
*Custodes looks at Primaris marine*: "Aww, it's so cute to see them try. Keep at it, slugger!"
This video feels good after the recent newsssss
I was going to play my Custodes at Adepticon..... Emperor damn you, Nurgle...
The tinder joke had me dead😂😂
"Sorry; but You've thrown off the Emperor's Groove"- Except instead of being thrown out, They're Stabbed, Shot; Webbed; and THEN thrown out.
Henry is such a gigachad
How to spot a genetically perfect genius custodes spy:
Cultist: *Hey, that 9 foot tall mountain of muscle that knows everything is kinda sus*
Imagine the rebirth of the Emperor.
... _Imagine ten thousand Custodes following his path through whatever dares to stand in his way._
*_Actually don't, you're not allowed to imagine such glorious scenes of divine glory, by decree of the High Lords of Terra._*
A day when a custodian falls to chaos is the day when all hope is lost
What if Malice is actually the great horned. Both destroy everything around them including themselves both of them revel in pure evil and destruction and ruin. Both are arguably the most evil of the chaos gods. Both have followers who do everything right and wrong for themselves at the same time.
Second time today I have seen this theory. Interesting but not really possible. GHR doesn't exit in 40k
They should include Minor Chaos Gods in Chaos Lore. That way Demon Princes and Greater Daemons can have something else to compare to instead of just the Demon Primarchs.
You're the best man! This one was great ❤️🏆