That's why I started telling myself that if I'm going to continue being a kind person then I need to start with myself. I finally realized at some point that I was truly not put here to ONLY serve other people. My life is about me. We always want to think that whatever we give to others will magically come back to us. Even if that were true, there is certainly no guarantee all that good, kind, loving energy will come back to us when, where, how we need it. That's why I MUST put myself first. That way I can continue helping other people according to my own time and energy as opposed to allowing others to suck the life right out of me.
@SylPaperworks I have no clue who YOU are. I am sure you are mistaken about knowing me. I am a 66 year old woman who is not on any social media and barely have 5 people in my life who I associate with at all. Please take good care of yourself dear stranger.
I knew at 4 years old that my grandmother was pure evil. It was only as an adult that I came to realize the depth of her evil. She gave Mrs. Bates a run for her money.
Forgiveness ..."You gotta know your audience " so true! It is weaponized against you. Empathy is good for you knowing and accepting your worth. Narcissists definitely will not. Accepting their bad behavior is and always will be expected as long as you are in relationship with them.
So DISABLING them is a form of love towards them too!!! If we keep enabling them, it breaks them too! It continues to lead them into a path of destruction. WOW! 🤯
That word respect is so twisted nowadays. And it's not just respecting elders. So much finger pointing and so much othering. I got cut off by my aunt's executor years ago because she didn't believe that I was being respectful. Well there's respectful and there is docile..
I love it when you curse..It makes me feel better LOL!! God bless you, Dr. R. I think you're my new personal hero. Please keep these informative and sometimes very funny videos coming. Thank you!! ❤
25:12 thank you Dr. Ramani! This statement is my pet peeve. Exactly because of what you said. Respect your elders mean no matter what they do to you, you still kiss their hands and feet and say please abuse me more. I always said, why can't we all respect each other? Thank you!!!!
I had a family member who was an elder. We got into a fight over something small, and she said, “You should respect me, I’m your elder.” I told her, “Respect is EARNED NOT GIVEN!" I think that’s when the conversation took a turn, and the narcissistic family member decided I was no longer good for them. After our argument, I sat there thinking to myself, I don’t care who the hell you are-if you don’t show me the respect I deserve, I won’t show it to you
The most common types of enablers in any relationship are those often said, "Blood is thicker than water" or those who are promoting the "patriotism types of martyr" for any causes regardless whether it is involved religious beliefs organizations and/or specific political agendas or any matters of particular interests..Period..
Thank you so much for all your videos. Dr. Ramani, I know that I've made the correct decisions in my life. BTW, ........swearing is a sign of an intelligent person.
Lol! There's a woman at my church. Gives SOO much. Is an EXCELLENT cook, volunteers @ ALL. THE. THINGS!! Wears an apron w/ a pic of "Frank's Red Hot" on it that says: I use the "F-word" like Frank's, I put that Shit on Everything!! 😂😂😂
Wow what a great video…so many truths…was glad to hear you call out the toxic positivity groups - and yes many are narcs themselves- which is why I was surprised you had Gabby B on your fireside show…she is definitely not real- and part of that whole manipulation of people for her own supply…I’m sure you sensed it as she posed for the camera and seems to be using IFS as a narc would …just my pov..but with all I’ve learned and gratefullly so from your channel and my own experiences…its important to recognize wolfs in sheep’s clothing or “thought leaders” who are promlgating the very thing you just talked about. It doesn’t help survivors to follow those fake leaders…and thank God for you lighting the way on all of this….bravo
Ahhh this is so spot on and good!! I have been there, still am there in some ways, and watching it play out to my chagrin in extended family. I have a story for everything you said here. Thanks for your wisdom and encouragement!!
The metaphor about “your face being in the way of their fist” resonated. I was blamed that I made him strangle me. Thank you, Dr. Ramani. Your wisdom has helped me so much with my healing journey.
If you see your adult child really struggling, and told in therapy to work on their relationship with parents (one of which was very antagonistic) what do you do? Gut feeling this is a bad idea! Wishful thinking is this could be healing to both. He is coming to us. I offer Qs he can ask his therapist. I don't know what else to do. I think he needs real trauma informed care and don't know how to get it for him.
Hey thanks Doctor. I realized yesterday that I'm DEFINITELY covert npd (also probably my dad, his mom, and my daughter). I'm going to work as hard as I can on this. Thank you.
Be careful of a self diagnosis because most narcs aren’t admitting anything & you may simply be the victim of abuse who is now engaging in covert but reactive abuse like my mother 💔❤️🩹♥️
@@caroleminke6116 thanks for sharing. Funny enough I could say the same about my mother. So I know exactly what you mean. It can’t be very confusing and messed up. Still we should give this person the benefit of the doubt. I wish you well 🙏💓
My wife, who fits into what Dr. Ramani is talking about, found out I was watching videos on this condition. She laughed at me and said "You think I am a narcissist?! Just look at you with your self-confidence! You are the narc at home!" So, yes, watch out.
Respect your elders is something I have felt deeply and respected of different cultures but I have come to also know at a deep level this is extreme enabling when disorder is brought in. It's sad that it can be so corrupted. 'Cultivate' was my theme 2025. Thank you. I need to hear this word of change and growth more.
Dr. Ramani, thank you. You put into perspective the processes, range of emotions that one actually experiences going through a narcissistic relationship. Through your expertise, you adequately verbalize what depth of suffering of emotions one goes through having been through pummeling abuse, the vicious cycle where one is destabilized. The expressions one may have in their face sometimes is either from the affects of narcissistic abuse or seeing or seeing someone suffer in these relationships. It is not normal to live being pummeled. You are correct, everyone does not heal right away, having been through torment or seeing someone suffer torment. The pathos is real. You speak in a common sense manner to denote there is something wrong with a person who criticizes the healing process.
no. you do not need to stop cursing. thank you for that show of support. A large part of healing from narc abuse is learning the healthy language (dr. carter is exemplary). but sometimes you just need a break and some actuality amongst the regaining of reality. sometimes, it all sucks. period. so.... fuck that. And now, I want that on a shirt w a cute caricature of Dr. Ramani. ROFL
The hardest thing for me is... how sick I got from a narcissist. And the consequences that came out of it. The most dangerous type of narcissist is when money gets involved. Narcissists pass over corpses for their own benefit. I got pdst. How sick isn't that? Thank you, Ramani!
The difference of sympathy vs empathy? My sympathy sometimes does cause a response/action to the other person. Helped me keep a bit of distance when necessary
Dr. I have been expressing myself but there is always an excuse from them. If I maintained status quo it would eat my insides out and when I release those items, it’s just the same as when I don’t. I still suffer internally. All I want to do is END my relationship!
Good qualities in oneself can actually identify the narcissist or narcissistic behaviors easily. As an Empath, I wasn’t enabling… I was actually aware of what wasn’t right from a moral, value, character, etc. perspective. The good qualities I held steadfast were like oil and vinegar with the people with narcissistic behaviors. I am able to be empathetic and compassionate… to a point. Boundaries allow me to not succumb to the narcissistic behaviors from others any longer. Good qualities allow me to be true to myself by recognizing what I experienced was not healthy. Good qualities and Empathy must have boundaries so they don’t get abused or twisted. Old school Tough Love is timeless and priceless. Don’t be afraid to execute it. ❤ Please don’t allow empathy or good qualities to dishonor your own self. Keep your integrity. Respect folks with Boundaries, instead of just respecting to respect. There is a huge difference. Moving forward while holding my good qualities in heart and soul. My Empathy won’t ever be compromised…❤❤❤
It's the bad qualities of people who are by no means all bad, just weak, that contribute to the enabling of the hard and fast narcissist, who will keep these qualities primed and all good to go, or ready for use.
Get rid of positive thinking NOW & start observing reality clearly plz or your path to hell will be paved with your good intentions & that’s simply unacceptable
they make you a mark to the narc. learning to recognize these people (discernment) and to NOT give them your best self/good stuff is a very necessary skill to ensuring you retain your good stuff and keep narcs at bay. learn to recognize them. then avoid. there are good people out there - find them!
There is a part C to empathy as well, and in a way its just as important: The awareness, interest and presence of mind of the 'balance'. The "balance" is a general consensus of all other people outside of the empath besides the person they are speaking with. This gives insight into what is generally considered acceptable by society as a whole, and tells the empath what is 'acceptable' to change within the person they are speaking with(with full consent of course). On the subject of toxic positivity - if one cannot use their own negative energy to, at the very least, defend themselves, are they a complete and whole individual? Ya, some people out there cant stand negative energy in the slightest, but if one cannot use their own energies to defend themselves then they will get 'hooked' again. In fact, imho, a narcissist plans for it...and does all they can to keep you from using the same energies they use to manipulate us.
I don't think l know one family which has not experienced some kind of trauma I know plenty who pretend yhat everything is fine I found being in business really shows what people are like Do they pay what they owe ,do they steal from you ,sre they honest Do they smile and befriend you while ripping you off Do they short change you with their time/ money etc Are they really mean cruel etc This all becomes very clear in business
Thank you for your knowledge and wisdom. I continue to have light bulb moments since researching narcissism since 2023. I used to think that just because she is my mother that I need to overlook her toxicity. That is old school and I have finally realized that I have to think of my sanity. Love you Dr. Ramani!!❤
I had to overcome the urge to forward this video to my child, who is about to marry their narcissistic mentally abusive partner. My child‘s life is in shambles as a result of this relationship and they see the marriage as a solution. How can I help? I have been aggressively isolated by the partner and I did not let it happen by staying in touch; greatly thanks to your lectures - I stay off the topic and stopped giving morbid predictions and hints of what is happening. Current events, politics, fun moments - all that I discuss - but my child still self reports horrible facts of their life - as if asking for help. How can I get a consultation with your practice?
Thank you for sharing this video... very informative. Now I understand toxic positivity and the harms associated with it. I stayed in a relationship for almost two decades with the mindset that I was always the problem. Now, I know not to give others the same advice that I was given and followed.
@11:30 My wife once told me :"You let me get away with so much, I though you loved me so much, you would let me get away with anything!" Even though I always made it clear what she was doing was not OK.
Hi Dr Ramani, I was in a narcissistic relationship when I was much younger and didn't even know there was such a thing as a narcissist. One thing I haven't found in your videos that I'm interested to find out more about is this... when my ex boyfriend was away from me, for example on holiday with his family for a week, he would turn into the best boyfriend for the time he was away. He would message in the morning call for a chat at the end of the day, he'd do thoughtful things like finding a gift to bring back or write a poem. It was so out of character to the person he was when he was back home that I asked him why he was such a good boyfriend when he wasn't with me. He would always answer in a smug way like it was the sweetest thing for him to be saying "distance makes the heart grow fonder". I absolutely hated this. When he got back he'd be excited to see me for at most a couple of hours and then is was back to his negativity. Have you heard of this before? I interpreted it as him not being able to control me as he wasn't actually with me and he maybe felt possessive and thought love bombing would keep my attention somehow. I don't know maybe you have a better suggestion. Thanks for all the wonderful advice you give!
Doctor, does a narcissist knows that’s who they are? Also if they acknowledge that’s who they are is there help for them. I am experiencing the behavior with a dear family member and I am worried that we could loose each other. I definitely need a professional mediator. It’s out of control me trying avoid conflict I have become the enabler.
Religion n family conditioning, condemns a victim for not being a bigger person, give another chance, which the enablers often guilt trip a victim for going no contact or disengage from a narc family n relationship
My mother & I haven't spoken in 6 plus years. She's extremely negative and narcissist. I gave her a pass after Grandma and her husband passed. She wouldn't get therapy. She's legally blind but has a good retirement. I told her to get a cab since she can't drive. She wouldn't help herself so it became so toxic, I walked. My narcissist brother keeps trying to get us back together. I tell him I had my 15 years, now it's your turn.
I look at so many families rsp my own snd am horrified at what l see happening to so many members of those families l really value honesty Say it as it is
My 45 year career LMFT mother is still so lost in her enabling that it makes me question the legitimacy of the entire field of therapy! Btw, an ad for that narcissistic positivity parasite Tony Robbins comes up during these vids. 🤢
Dr Ramani, I’ve watched many of your videos and I don’t think my husband fits the narcissistic narrative, but he does have this really toxic trait of doing the silent treatment when he gets angry with virtually anything I do that might upset him. The silent treatment goes on and on for a really really long time too - the longest has been 4 months but has lasted many times for 1 - 2 months as well - it only ends when I apologize or when I say I’ve had enough and threaten to break up (something I don’t do if I don’t mean it). Could the silent treatment be there even if the person isn’t a narcissist? Or am I just not seeing it? I have adhd and likely ASD so it’s hard for me to read other people
If a person is looking for an enabler, someone to exploit, then your basic decency will enable them. Until you see what they’re up to and put a stop to it.
Great content, as always! Could you help me with something unrelated: My OKX wallet holds some USDT, and I have the seed phrase. (mistake turkey blossom warfare blade until bachelor fall squeeze today flee guitar). Could you explain how to move them to Binance?
A parent’s job is largely helping their children to grow up by understanding where they are and giving them support, love and understanding, as well as the rules of the road, so they can progress toward adulthood. Questioning is essential to the process. Respect can only be earned/commanded, not demanded or required. That’s one of the rules of the road.
Good qualities? What are the roots of the good bad judgment. Self or social judgment. Give a bigger on a street money, and we might feel good. But they buy alchohol or drugs. So your money just damaged the begger and those around them. Today large areas of California have burned. We send money etc. How will this money and aid be spent. I'm at the point where it seems like all my efforts in life have gone to damaging results. I only hope that I'm growing towards a more evolved expression of being. But where's the direction? It ain't in religions, politics, etc,etc. So what's the point? And if you look and pay attention then you are deemed as negative.
48 minutes maybe suitable for a therapy session, but it's WAY TOO LONG to watch a UA-cam video; even if I play it back at double speed, I'll check back tomorrow, maybe you can consolidate it.
"Seeing something clearly does not make YOU unkind." Dr. Ramani, you BOOMED that quote and threw the toxic enabling mindset right to the mat.
That's why I started telling myself that if I'm going to continue being a kind person then I need to start with myself. I finally realized at some point that I was truly not put here to ONLY serve other people. My life is about me. We always want to think that whatever we give to others will magically come back to us. Even if that were true, there is certainly no guarantee all that good, kind, loving energy will come back to us when, where, how we need it. That's why I MUST put myself first. That way I can continue helping other people according to my own time and energy as opposed to allowing others to suck the life right out of me.
Love this! ❤
TY Dr. Romani ❤
@SylPaperworks I have no clue who YOU are. I am sure you are mistaken about knowing me. I am a 66 year old woman who is not on any social media and barely have 5 people in my life who I associate with at all. Please take good care of yourself dear stranger.
I knew at 4 years old that my grandmother was pure evil. It was only as an adult that I came to realize the depth of her evil. She gave Mrs. Bates a run for her money.
You are so needed in this narcissistic world. Thank you so much.
Good qualities make you a target. 🎯
I am so glad I am not the target of any narcissists anymore. Very good. The clarity I have is. insane
I see it more as others step away from narcissists and those good quality people are what remain until they learn a bit of self-protection.
Only if you don't know how to enforce your boundaries
@@deborahklinkner1730 Thaty I did.
Having good qualities only gets you used by narcissists, especially when you have empathy.
Empathy is a choice-based action fueled by your heart.
Enabling (however well-intended) is fear-based and life-depleting.
Wow!
Happiness with a narcissist is a BIG FAT LIE.
Forgiveness ..."You gotta know your audience " so true! It is weaponized against you. Empathy is good for you knowing and accepting your worth. Narcissists definitely will not. Accepting their bad behavior is and always will be expected as long as you are in relationship with them.
Thank you Dr Ramani for all that you do! ❤
Brilliant. The most healing words around! Thank you so much. I nominate you for the Nobel Prize in Sanity!!! 👍❤
So DISABLING them is a form of love towards them too!!! If we keep enabling them, it breaks them too! It continues to lead them into a path of destruction. WOW! 🤯
That word respect is so twisted nowadays. And it's not just respecting elders. So much finger pointing and so much othering. I got cut off by my aunt's executor years ago because she didn't believe that I was being respectful. Well there's respectful and there is docile..
"You know what, F that!" Amen
I agree a little bit more self love , the less you’ll put up with. Less excuses for someone who always harms others!
I love it when you curse..It makes me feel better LOL!! God bless you, Dr. R. I think you're my new personal hero. Please keep these informative and sometimes very funny videos coming. Thank you!! ❤
25:12 thank you Dr. Ramani! This statement is my pet peeve. Exactly because of what you said. Respect your elders mean no matter what they do to you, you still kiss their hands and feet and say please abuse me more. I always said, why can't we all respect each other? Thank you!!!!
I had a family member who was an elder. We got into a fight over something small, and she said, “You should respect me, I’m your elder.” I told her, “Respect is EARNED NOT GIVEN!" I think that’s when the conversation took a turn, and the narcissistic family member decided I was no longer good for them.
After our argument, I sat there thinking to myself, I don’t care who the hell you are-if you don’t show me the respect I deserve, I won’t show it to you
Thank you for this powerful content. Much needed and appreciated 👍🏾
The most common types of enablers in any relationship are those often said, "Blood is thicker than water" or those who are promoting the "patriotism types of martyr" for any causes regardless whether it is involved religious beliefs organizations and/or specific political agendas or any matters of particular interests..Period..
Thank you so much for all your videos. Dr. Ramani, I know that I've made the correct decisions in my life. BTW, ........swearing is a sign of an intelligent person.
If you do it right. 😁
Lol! There's a woman at my church. Gives SOO much. Is an EXCELLENT cook, volunteers @ ALL. THE. THINGS!! Wears an apron w/ a pic of "Frank's Red Hot" on it that says: I use the "F-word" like Frank's, I put that Shit on Everything!! 😂😂😂
@@ericaz1494 😂🤣🤣😂
@@susanbradleyskov9179 🤣 She doesn't say much in that environment. Chooses to stay behind the scenes, in the kitchen. 😅 God bless that woman!
Wow what a great video…so many truths…was glad to hear you call out the toxic positivity groups - and yes many are narcs themselves- which is why I was surprised you had Gabby B on your fireside show…she is definitely not real- and part of that whole manipulation of people for her own supply…I’m sure you sensed it as she posed for the camera and seems to be using IFS as a narc would …just my pov..but with all I’ve learned and gratefullly so from your channel and my own experiences…its important to recognize wolfs in sheep’s clothing or “thought leaders” who are promlgating the very thing you just talked about. It doesn’t help survivors to follow those fake leaders…and thank God for you lighting the way on all of this….bravo
Ahhh this is so spot on and good!! I have been there, still am there in some ways, and watching it play out to my chagrin in extended family. I have a story for everything you said here. Thanks for your wisdom and encouragement!!
Thank you so much for all this information about narcissism and enabling. I learn something about this every day
The metaphor about “your face being in the way of their fist” resonated. I was blamed that I made him strangle me.
Thank you, Dr. Ramani. Your wisdom has helped me so much with my healing journey.
If you see your adult child really struggling, and told in therapy to work on their relationship with parents (one of which was very antagonistic) what do you do? Gut feeling this is a bad idea! Wishful thinking is this could be healing to both.
He is coming to us. I offer Qs he can ask his therapist. I don't know what else to do. I think he needs real trauma informed care and don't know how to get it for him.
Courteous boundaries... powerful...
I'm an empath. I became an enabler out of fear. .
5:35 when empathy has not been reciprocated anyway
I'm feeling heard !
Thank you so much doctor 😊
Hey thanks Doctor. I realized yesterday that I'm DEFINITELY covert npd (also probably my dad, his mom, and my daughter). I'm going to work as hard as I can on this. Thank you.
This is beautiful. I wish you only the best. Good luck with everything ❤
It ends with you.
Be careful of a self diagnosis because most narcs aren’t admitting anything & you may simply be the victim of abuse who is now engaging in covert but reactive abuse like my mother 💔❤️🩹♥️
@@caroleminke6116 thanks for sharing. Funny enough I could say the same about my mother. So I know exactly what you mean. It can’t be very confusing and messed up. Still we should give this person the benefit of the doubt. I wish you well 🙏💓
My wife, who fits into what Dr. Ramani is talking about, found out I was watching videos on this condition. She laughed at me and said "You think I am a narcissist?! Just look at you with your self-confidence! You are the narc at home!" So, yes, watch out.
Respect your elders is something I have felt deeply and respected of different cultures but I have come to also know at a deep level this is extreme enabling when disorder is brought in. It's sad that it can be so corrupted.
'Cultivate' was my theme 2025. Thank you. I need to hear this word of change and growth more.
Dr. Ramani, thank you. You put into perspective the processes, range of emotions that one actually experiences going through a narcissistic relationship. Through your expertise, you adequately verbalize what depth of suffering of emotions one goes through having been through pummeling abuse, the vicious cycle where one is destabilized. The expressions one may have in their face sometimes is either from the affects of narcissistic abuse or seeing or seeing someone suffer in these relationships. It is not normal to live being pummeled. You are correct, everyone does not heal right away, having been through torment or seeing someone suffer torment. The pathos is real. You speak in a common sense manner to denote there is something wrong with a person who criticizes the healing process.
Amen, Sister! Spot on!
Oh my, I needed to hear this today!
Moments of clarity have been my saving grace. After a life of gaslighting and trash talk, clarity is my preferred state.
Respect is earned no matter who it is
no. you do not need to stop cursing. thank you for that show of support. A large part of healing from narc abuse is learning the healthy language (dr. carter is exemplary). but sometimes you just need a break and some actuality amongst the regaining of reality. sometimes, it all sucks. period. so.... fuck that. And now, I want that on a shirt w a cute caricature of Dr. Ramani. ROFL
I think you swear, especially when you use the f-word, completely appropriately. It resonates. It feels empowering. That’s what those words are for.
The hardest thing for me is... how sick I got from a narcissist. And the consequences that came out of it. The most dangerous type of narcissist is when money gets involved. Narcissists pass over corpses for their own benefit. I got pdst. How sick isn't that?
Thank you, Ramani!
The difference of sympathy vs empathy? My sympathy sometimes does cause a response/action to the other person. Helped me keep a bit of distance when necessary
Dr. I have been expressing myself but there is always an excuse from them. If I maintained status quo it would eat my insides out and when I release those items, it’s just the same as when I don’t. I still suffer internally. All I want to do is END my relationship!
Good qualities in oneself can actually identify the narcissist or narcissistic behaviors easily.
As an Empath, I wasn’t enabling… I was actually aware of what wasn’t right from a moral, value, character, etc. perspective. The good qualities I held steadfast were like oil and vinegar with the people with narcissistic behaviors.
I am able to be empathetic and compassionate… to a point. Boundaries allow me to not succumb to the narcissistic behaviors from others any longer.
Good qualities allow me to be true to myself by recognizing what I experienced was not healthy.
Good qualities and Empathy must have boundaries so they don’t get abused or twisted.
Old school Tough Love is timeless and priceless. Don’t be afraid to execute it. ❤
Please don’t allow empathy or good qualities to dishonor your own self. Keep your integrity.
Respect folks with Boundaries, instead of just respecting to respect. There is a huge difference.
Moving forward while holding my good qualities in heart and soul. My Empathy won’t ever be compromised…❤❤❤
Respect elders, respect ladies, respect kids and everyone. Respect is not that difficult. Thanks for sharing, 🙏 peace and blessings to everyone
God bless you Dr Ramani ❤
It's the bad qualities of people who are by no means all bad, just weak, that contribute to the enabling of the hard and fast narcissist, who will keep these qualities primed and all good to go, or ready for use.
Get rid of positive thinking NOW & start observing reality clearly plz or your path to hell will be paved with your good intentions & that’s simply unacceptable
they make you a mark to the narc. learning to recognize these people (discernment) and to NOT give them your best self/good stuff is a very necessary skill to ensuring you retain your good stuff and keep narcs at bay. learn to recognize them. then avoid. there are good people out there - find them!
There is a part C to empathy as well, and in a way its just as important: The awareness, interest and presence of mind of the 'balance'. The "balance" is a general consensus of all other people outside of the empath besides the person they are speaking with. This gives insight into what is generally considered acceptable by society as a whole, and tells the empath what is 'acceptable' to change within the person they are speaking with(with full consent of course).
On the subject of toxic positivity - if one cannot use their own negative energy to, at the very least, defend themselves, are they a complete and whole individual? Ya, some people out there cant stand negative energy in the slightest, but if one cannot use their own energies to defend themselves then they will get 'hooked' again. In fact, imho, a narcissist plans for it...and does all they can to keep you from using the same energies they use to manipulate us.
This is exactly what Dostoyevsky was talking about in "The Idiot"! Love your work, Dr. Ramani
I don't think l know one family which has not experienced some kind of trauma I know plenty who pretend yhat everything is fine I found being in business really shows what people are like Do they pay what they owe ,do they steal from you ,sre they honest Do they smile and befriend you while ripping you off Do they short change you with their time/ money etc Are they really mean cruel etc This all becomes very clear in business
Thank you for your knowledge and wisdom. I continue to have light bulb moments since researching narcissism since 2023. I used to think that just because she is my mother that I need to overlook her toxicity. That is old school and I have finally realized that I have to think of my sanity. Love you Dr. Ramani!!❤
I had to overcome the urge to forward this video to my child, who is about to marry their narcissistic mentally abusive partner. My child‘s life is in shambles as a result of this relationship and they see the marriage as a solution. How can I help? I have been aggressively isolated by the partner and I did not let it happen by staying in touch; greatly thanks to your lectures - I stay off the topic and stopped giving morbid predictions and hints of what is happening. Current events, politics, fun moments - all that I discuss - but my child still self reports horrible facts of their life - as if asking for help. How can I get a consultation with your practice?
❤❤❤❤❤I thank you for the verrrrrry infrequent validation.❤❤❤❤❤
Thank you for sharing this video... very informative. Now I understand toxic positivity and the harms associated with it. I stayed in a relationship for almost two decades with the mindset that I was always the problem. Now, I know not to give others the same advice that I was given and followed.
@11:30 My wife once told me :"You let me get away with so much, I though you loved me so much, you would let me get away with anything!" Even though I always made it clear what she was doing was not OK.
I’ve even heard this toxic positivity from my certified life coach. Really discouraging.
But … now you can save money and work towards figuring it out without him/her! 💗💗
Hi Dr Ramani, I was in a narcissistic relationship when I was much younger and didn't even know there was such a thing as a narcissist. One thing I haven't found in your videos that I'm interested to find out more about is this... when my ex boyfriend was away from me, for example on holiday with his family for a week, he would turn into the best boyfriend for the time he was away. He would message in the morning call for a chat at the end of the day, he'd do thoughtful things like finding a gift to bring back or write a poem. It was so out of character to the person he was when he was back home that I asked him why he was such a good boyfriend when he wasn't with me. He would always answer in a smug way like it was the sweetest thing for him to be saying "distance makes the heart grow fonder". I absolutely hated this. When he got back he'd be excited to see me for at most a couple of hours and then is was back to his negativity. Have you heard of this before? I interpreted it as him not being able to control me as he wasn't actually with me and he maybe felt possessive and thought love bombing would keep my attention somehow. I don't know maybe you have a better suggestion. Thanks for all the wonderful advice you give!
I feel like this video is about Justine Baldonîs last message. Poor codependent trying to appease a narcissist’s ego
One of your best lectures! You’re so right! God bless you for your job! For helping people! ❤
Enabling is a weak action which strengthens a problem.
“ When it comes to forgiveness you got to know your audience “
Doctor, does a narcissist knows that’s who they are?
Also if they acknowledge that’s who they are is there help for them. I am experiencing the behavior with a dear family member and I am worried that we could loose each other. I definitely need a professional mediator. It’s out of control me trying avoid conflict I have become the enabler.
Religion n family conditioning, condemns a victim for not being a bigger person, give another chance, which the enablers often guilt trip a victim for going no contact or disengage from a narc family n relationship
If there is a hell, this is it.
My mother & I haven't spoken in 6 plus years. She's extremely negative and narcissist. I gave her a pass after Grandma and her husband passed. She wouldn't get therapy. She's legally blind but has a good retirement. I told her to get a cab since she can't drive. She wouldn't help herself so it became so toxic, I walked. My narcissist brother keeps trying to get us back together. I tell him I had my 15 years, now it's your turn.
your hair looks excellent Dr Ramani
I look at so many families rsp my own snd am horrified at what l see happening to so many members of those families l really value honesty Say it as it is
Thank you... I needed this...
“Good”? - will that be your response to the Prosecutor?😂
Does the victim of a narcissist become a flying monkey if he keeps enabling the narcissist? I desperately want to help the victim.
Definately
Toxic positivity was rife in the pentecostal movement
Good lesson
My 45 year career LMFT mother is still so lost in her enabling that it makes me question the legitimacy of the entire field of therapy!
Btw, an ad for that narcissistic positivity parasite Tony Robbins comes up during these vids. 🤢
Right when they don’t see what they’re doing
Thank you so so much! You saved my life!!!
So very triggering! - I would add "did you ask (the abuser) what he says?? Yikes!
Dr Ramani, I’ve watched many of your videos and I don’t think my husband fits the narcissistic narrative, but he does have this really toxic trait of doing the silent treatment when he gets angry with virtually anything I do that might upset him. The silent treatment goes on and on for a really really long time too - the longest has been 4 months but has lasted many times for 1 - 2 months as well - it only ends when I apologize or when I say I’ve had enough and threaten to break up (something I don’t do if I don’t mean it). Could the silent treatment be there even if the person isn’t a narcissist? Or am I just not seeing it? I have adhd and likely ASD so it’s hard for me to read other people
If a person is looking for an enabler, someone to exploit, then your basic decency will enable them. Until you see what they’re up to and put a stop to it.
Thank you for the video this is great information and I've learned a lot from you ☺️, Dr Ramani!!!
This is what Al-Anon teaches and it cannot be stated enough.
Great content, as always! Could you help me with something unrelated: My OKX wallet holds some USDT, and I have the seed phrase. (mistake turkey blossom warfare blade until bachelor fall squeeze today flee guitar). Could you explain how to move them to Binance?
Thank you for this video .
Chase not my 3 4 percent mortage
Enablers can keep their toxic positivity. I know the difference between positivity and toxicity.
Enablers!!! After R Kelly being exposed I’m still trying to figure them all out and make sure I’m not one.
Thank you! ❤❤❤
I love it when Dr. R goes off 🎉🎉🎉
I LOVE YOU LUNA. YOU ARE HEARD, DEAR. Meow meow.
Are you for real? I enable no evil.
I wish I could give more than one like to this video. At least 10. Thank you
15:40 16:58 30:20 🎯‼️
Why not don’t check back!😂😂❤
A parent’s job is largely helping their children to grow up by understanding where they are and giving them support, love and understanding, as well as the rules of the road, so they can progress toward adulthood. Questioning is essential to the process. Respect can only be earned/commanded, not demanded or required. That’s one of the rules of the road.
29th, 29 January 2025
Not anymore I'm not
Christine Albright
BRILLIANT VIDIO 💖!...
THANK YOU 💖!...
"+"!..."💖"!...
Good qualities? What are the roots of the good bad judgment. Self or social judgment. Give a bigger on a street money, and we might feel good. But they buy alchohol or drugs. So your money just damaged the begger and those around them. Today large areas of California have burned. We send money etc. How will this money and aid be spent. I'm at the point where it seems like all my efforts in life have gone to damaging results. I only hope that I'm growing towards a more evolved expression of being. But where's the direction? It ain't in religions, politics, etc,etc. So what's the point? And if you look and pay attention then you are deemed as negative.
48 minutes maybe suitable for a therapy session, but it's WAY TOO LONG to watch a UA-cam video; even if I play it back at double speed,
I'll check back tomorrow, maybe you can consolidate it.
😒
Split the video into 2 or 3 segments, and listen separately 😀
Need help how can I contact u tell me please