My husband & I were love at first sight. His idea to make us wait (4 months!) to have sex b/c he wanted us to mean more to eachother. That made our first time sooo special. And here we are 23yrs later still honeymooning. 💞
Thank you, so true it’s so easy to rush and jump right in the sack. But the truth is for me, sex and money. Do not bring us everlasting love. Friendship and really knowing each other and excepting each other for who we are. I like to say you can bend but don’t break. The same goes for them. Going into relationship trying to change them does not work. Just my opinion.
@@zanna9857 thank you for reaching out. Jealousy is something that I don’t find attractive. And actually, it brings me anxiety if someone gets easily jealous. I don’t consider myself a jealous person. I believe we all have tendencies at one point to become jealous. But I have never been in that situation. Also, it’s not one of my traits.
@@alytaylor8974 Sounds like your pretty level headed & confident. There is so much more freedom, happiness & joy in a relationship that does not tolerate jealousy. My husband & I laugh & have fun w/people, even our Exs! Glad you don't tolerate it either. So many people think it's 'love' but honestly it's just childish insecurities.
My mom and my grandma told me men love their wives whom they had build houses for. I remember reading letters between Samih Algaasim and Mahmoud Darwish, two famous Arab poets, one wrote to the other “….we don’t love those who help us; we love those we help.” I’m not an expert am still looking for answers but it seems to me that we in general love what we invest in and invest in what we love.
Unfortunately I wasted my youth not knowing or understanding how men love. That's how they love by providing. How else? It makes sense. I've wanted a marriage home and security my whole life. Never happened.
I always tell my female friends that men falling in love takes time because they fall in love when they make memories with you, spend time with you etc. and this video proves that right
@@augustek5382 Yeah everyone’s different for sure! But from my experience women can fall for the person you are or who they think you are and that’s why they sometimes fall in love quicker than men I think.
Stages 3 1) lust 2) attraction 3) attachment Never make man chase you A secure man never chase 2) how men fall in love Build strong emotional connection It took time to develope genuine love
You are so right especially on the chasing part. Men who chase you never know how to keep you. The man I currently like right now and who likes/loves me back .. went after me ...but he never chased. And if he did feel like I was playing games he fell back and waited for me. A man who is interested/serious won't chase. He will express his interest and wants of you but won't compete nor chase after you.and that's the key. You don't won't a chaser ladies they are temporary
Lol play hard to get, keep living in ur games/fantasies. Being easy is abt opening ur legs to unknown guys without any emotional connection/feelings. Thats called being easy. Not some girl who is getting with a guy she likes and is direct abt her emotions instead of playing stupid games. Mature males r not into all that nonsense nor do they gaf abt chasing someone. Romantic movies and K dramas aren’t real life sweetheart.
Love is like a whisper in the wind which cannot be heard or seen with our eyes. It can only be recognized by two people who are ancient enough to take the courage to open up for each other and who constantly invest in each other. Love is like a tree. It only gets deeper and better the longer the journey takes.
He got to the attachment stage SUPER fast and I think it was because there was a lot of non-sexual physical contact which was giving him oxytocin. I’m very cautious about letting myself get attached so I was a bit anxious about it but he was so patient with me and now I feel safe to let myself fall for him completely. He was just so sure about me so early on. The first night we spent together we didn’t have sex but he fell asleep holding my hand as if I was going to get away if he didn’t! 😂
I didn’t attempt to “make men chase me” I just needed convincing that they were worth my while and wanted more than just a fling which I was never interested in. A few men chased me and asked me to marry them, but my husband was besotted with me and 27 years later he is still crazy about me. I love him very much and we are deeply attached but often he still seems to be in the lust stage 😂😂! He still tells me every day how beautiful I am and I appreciate everything he does so much. He is a great husband and father.
@6:31 If a man admits to me that he lost interest immediately after sex with some past woman, I immediately view him as low value. He's immediately and totally off the table for me in any sexual or romantic regard.
At least he will be honest about it and i think it is something biological. Jonathan Ashley says the same so a man really can easily seperate love and sex it is just his nature. He just has to be honest about it and don't give the woman hope but the woman who gives her flower to easy away musn't be suprized he loses interest quick.
@@devra5186 That is disrespectful right there if the man did not have those feelings why did he sleep with that woman. I have no respect for a person that can do that.
not necessarily; because i can understand not feeling sexually compatible with someone and not wanting to waste the both of your time.. don’t get me wrong, it sucks, but it’s better someone admits sexually they didn’t feel a spark w/ you vs. dragging it out. granted, as women we have way less orgasms and have pretty much normalized not being fully satisfied by our partners but if we put as much emphasis on it as men then a lot of us would be moving on or stepping out as just as much too. and it doesn’t make you “low value” to not want to settle in that area if you deem it important to your relationship. now yes, you can try to get better but it’s really up to that person if they want to continue the relationship and try, but at least they were a decent enough person to be honest about why they’re not interested imo.
It doesn't take years. Once you do the work and mature and ask the right, crucial questions at the start you will get to know that person quite quickly. You have to click into your instincts. Depending on the person of course. Women. don't have years and years. Use your common sense.
I mean honestly, ask them how they spend their time.. it shows what they give energy to. Ask them about their friends.. it shows the qualities that influence them.. ask them about how they spend money.. it shows what they value.
@@ellililo Ask them what their views are regarding marriage, but don't give away the way you feel/don't make it seem like you want marriage because men will lie (subconsciously or willfully), if you're a woman whose into men ofc. Ask them how many kids they want. Observe who their friends are (they will turn into their friends especially if they're men), the music they listen to and the fans of their favorite artists/bands (to know their mindset). Everything has an influence so just observe, you don't need to ask so many questions just let people talk without interruption.
When you level up on the spiritual path, you learn the wisdom of love. It's a force that exists like gravity and it starts within. If you have a healthy connection to yourself, you are only able to truly connect with others who share love for themselves. That includes family or friends, or romantic partners. We share the love of self (essentially the Divine) with others. Everything else is just attachment. When we are able to detach from connections and reconnect with self, we know love in its purest form.
@@hms9782 It's been a slow process of learning to meditate, addressing my own trauma and attachment issues. Find out your attachment style and shift all your focus on evaluating your relationships with your parents, your negative beliefs about yourself, how you've reacted in relationships. Lastly you set goals for the abundant life you want, and the steps to get there. You'll begin the process of falling in love with yourself. Anyone who joins you thereafter, needs to add to your life. You develop stronger standards and boundaries. It's a process. Then you'll be able to only allow men or anyone who love themselves into your special world.
Yes, that’s totally accurate! In reality it’s women who fall in love with a man they sleep with. Men normally don’t fall in love with a woman they sleep too early! To be honest: it’s much more interesting not to sleep together immediately. It makes little things much more thrilling and you get to know each other much better and like this you also learn to talk about what you like much better. And: what I realized as well: when a man loves a woman deeply he can even have an emotional orgasm like we woman have when we love someone totally and give us fully! So it helps to increase intimacy on all levels, intellectually, emotionally and also physically.
Usually women fall for a man they see as a potential partner and sleep with if there’s no connection…it just won’t work the same. Yet it depends on the woman
@@akankshatiwari8113hum no it is biological. But with the hook up culture, it changes the brain of these people and get less and less attached to people. They will end up alone or with someone they don't care just to not be alone
Wow, *this here is rare to hear from a man* in such a clear and reflected way: not only scientifically accurate, but also honest and with a responsible and honest approach. So many more men and women should get that we need *time* in order to have love. We would have much more happiness and far less pain in this world. Thank you!
@@CordeliaWagner Are AI or human being? How letting feelings flow is a naive approach?! This truly shows you never experienced true love in life… sadly. Love happens dear, you can’t force Love. At least the true one.
Wow that explanation on “Never get a man to chase you” was probably one of the phrases that completely changed my mindset the moment you said it. That’s absolutely spot on. I never thought of that! Thank you! I’m currently dating this guy who I feel so compatible and safe with. I’ve constantly expressed my interest without the fear of expecting him to chase me. And he reciprocates with showing me interest. Hope this works out ❤😊
I never believed in making a man I like to chase me. I don't believe in that kind of process where we are only obsessing over what the other person wants, we should look out for ourselves too. Do "I" feel good around him, do I want this guy , am I happy with him, does he make me happy? This video has answered that part perfectly.
I don’t know, this doesn’t sound like falling in love at all. If anything, I think anyone who still feels the urge to be with other people while in a relationship, is someone who isn’t or has probably never fallen in love. When it happens, you seriously just want that person (not that you can’t see others as attractive, you’re just not tempted by them) and don’t even think about risk losing them for something that you’re already getting from them. It’s waaaay deeper than chemistry, and honestly, more about them than it is about you. And it also doesn’t feel like you’re suppressing yourself or losing your freedom, because you could be with anyone else, but it still feels right to just be with them. Or at least that’s what I came to discover after years of relationships based on lust and infatuation. I thought that was love because I had never experienced it, but this year it finally happened and it’s unlike anything I’ve felt before.
Thank you. I’m tired of hearing about how men fall in love because it sounds nothing about actual love and more like a decision of a well played and well planned scheme for self benefits . That’s not love at all. It’s still usage even if the both of them are satisfied and happy in the relationship. Thank you for speaking on behalf of real love.
I can't thank you enough for this comment. Because I've never been in love and that's my only dream I get to someday. But every corner of the internet there is some man saying how women are delusional and men will always want to f*ck other women 😪it's so depressing. Your comment is a diamond amongst turds
It makes all men sound like a flight risk which is definitely not true. Sure some men are all their lives others grow out of it and others never are. My partner has never been like that he knew how he felt about me before we were ever together and I’ve never had to question it.
🤔 I've always wondered why people in happy relationships come under relationship advice videos to let everyone know how perfectly happy they are. Girl are you really okay? 😅
@@porchiajohnson1441 probably is, just reinforcing her example. Same here. Dated for 6 yrs. Married for 25. Communication, compromise, commitment are key. 🔑
Even if english is not my mother tongue (because i'm italian), it's the First time i can understand EVERYTHING without even subtitles. You have this power
As a woman and a sexual abuse victim since young age, the first stage of falling in love you presented got me shaking. It honestly paralizes me that it has psychologial and biological confirmation. A lot of my ""romantic"" experiences proved to me "no matter how interesting and beautifull person you see in the mirror, you will always be just a body to men" - this thought is (and probably always will) haunt me. It will take quite a time for me to process and accept what i heard in this video. I would love to predend your wrong and i really really hope you are.
Its sexist to think "you're only a body to men". Cuz that is obviously not true. Yes alot of men go off physical appearance and that is normal and okay, women do that too. But that doesn't mean they do not care about your personality.
@@idkwhattoputheretbhbuthere Yes im aware of that. I agree with you it is sexsist to say "all men" are like that but that's also part of my inner conflict - i really don't want to think that way of men and myself. Yet on bad days i sometimes do. My thoughts and feelings are valid as result of abuse BUT that doesnt mean they are a right thing to believe in.
@@annawolnik3312 They aren't valid. I got abused by a woman when I was 15, but that doesn't give me a right to feel like all women are bad or something like that. Because I know they aren't. One person did that, not the whole gender. What some people do, doesn't make up for the whole group. I am sorry that you got abused. It must have been very traumatizing and my sincerest apologies.
@@idkwhattoputheretbhbuthere First of all, we have the full right to FEEL anything, even something thats not moral - suppressing emotions is not healthy. Second, Theres a diffrence between feeling, thinking and acting - your personal feelings don't harm anyone. I think we have similar experiences to this topic (sadly) so please dont invalidate fellings i shared saying they are sexsist or i have no right to feel them. Those arent beliefs they are emotions !!! In the end we both share simiar opinion I just feel like u missunderstood me using the word "valid" Everyting you pointed out in your second reply i already said above, just with my own words. Im also sorry you had to experience this, I think its brave of you to say it as a man. take care
@@annawolnik3312 If you have emotions which is basically disliking all men, that is sexist, but you can get rid of that. You gotta go to therapy and get rid of that, or something else that can help you. Maybe a male close friend? It's not healthy to have such a hatred. Trust me, it's going to affect you if you don't get help for it. I am not trying to invalidate your feelings, I am just saying that you gotta work on them. It will feel so much better.
A healthy man loves one woman, he knows she is not perfect, but loves her because she puts effort and makes him feel wanted and needed. An unhealthy man does not love.
@@samreenfatima2551 the fairytale of a healthy man wants one woman. Us men are biologically programmed to want multiple women, no matter how much we love our woman. There’s nothing wrong in us men for wanting to have multiple women.
@@TheUnique69ableOh please most men on the internet cry about being virgins and not getting women. And if they do, they whine about how horrible they are. If y‘all struggle to pull one girl and not even a good one, what makes you think you can get multiple women? 😂 You‘re setting yourself up for a life of stress and misery, if you want to pursue multiple women. Most want one partner to grow old and have a family with (As do most men). The promiscuous guys and girls just end up played, used and lonely
I totally agree with your quick tip! I'm a girl, and I really think that 'playing hard-to-get' can be so cruel! I mean, I get really upset and confused when I get mixed signals, it's not funny at all, why would I do that to him? Like, I had a friend that fell victim of the hard-to-get game, and I felt really bad, cuz he really seemed hurt, and eventually came to the conclussion that he deserved better and moved on. Honestly, best decision ever. But SHE came back, and called me crying because HE wouldn't meet up with her anymore and I was like "you did that to yourself, gurl-"
I used to think like yourself when I was very young, and I know exactly that I wasn't right. The expression 'playing hard to get' means not exactly the same for different people. You have to learn to value yourself, that's the most important when you are looking for someone who is right for you. Don't feel sorry for your boyfriend when you set boundaries, don't think you are acting cruel (some men would intentionally use this "acting cruel" thing to get their way).
My Nonna had this analogy she shared with all her granddaughters. It was "The Rose in the Wind". Basically talking about how the rose was too easy to allow her petals to be blown away with the wind (boys). Eventually she looses all her petals. Now theres probably better ways to communicate the same values she tried to install into us but I got the message and since I trusted her I listened. It was a powerful imagery that kept me vigilant. I ended up meeting my husband of 20years when I was 18 years old. We were both virgins and waited until our wedding night. It was so beautiful and I am so glad we did that. We've built a beautiful life together.
omg...i have my Childhood bestfriend who always there for me..showed care now i am widow he is more sweet and caring...but never told me he loves me...
Great video, A month ago, my five-year relationship came to an end. I really can't stop thinking about the love of my life, who made the decision to leave me. I've done everything in my power to win him back, but it's all in vain, and I can't imagine my life with anyone else. I genuinely miss him and just can't stop thinking about him, even though I've tried my hardest to stop thinking about him. I'm not sure why I'm saying this here.
It's hard to say goodbye to someone you love; I experienced this when my 12-year relationship ended. However, I couldn't just let him go; instead, I tried everything to win him back. Eventually, I turned to a spiritual counsellor for assistance, and he was able to help me win him back.
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Kind of a weird block in the brain people have when it comes to the whole “getting intimate too soon” and sounds just like an excuse maybe because you realize you don’t feel the vibe. And just because she slept with you so soon doesn’t mean she does it with every single guy, you should be happy she is attracted to you in the first place to sleep with you! if you’re both feeling the vibe and the connection then be open about what you want from the start. If you don’t want to sleep with her/him too soon, don’t go to a place that has 4 walls and a bed. Grown people are able to talk. But to make someone purposely wait… also sounds like a game
Matthew Hussey said the same thing about the chase part. I respectfully disagree. Relationship coaches who do not agree in the chase part are not even married themselves. Making a man chase you does not mean it's ONLY man who is making the effort. It's not like men chasing women looking like a puppy. Men and women show interest in different ways. A man initiates while the woman must display interest, appreciation, and availability. If the woman rejects all the attempts to connect, the man should stop, or else that's already pestering and borderline stalking. A man can sense it if he can move forward. A man should not play mind games with this. It is a man's job to pursue a woman. In the EARLY stages, the man SHOULD initiate most of the effort and interactions, while the woman responds and shows interest. Women can start on some, but most of it should come from the man. Men should remember that a lot of times, the woman is just not sure about men. The good-looking man seems good on paper, but she asks herself, "Am I going to like him?"; "Should I have a relationship with this man?" This is when the man can chase. Attraction is not a choice, but a relationship is, especially if you are thinking about marriage. "Chasing" is how a woman can measure and test a man's genuine interest. A man who gives up early because a woman is "hard to get" means he does not like her enough. He does not have enough fuel to go on. When a woman senses this, she should let him go. He is not in it for good. Oprah said, "If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay."
Hussey is a grifter who panders to women. There is a difference between 'chase' and pursue. The connection should be effortless, organic, and mutual. If a women is making rules for you, understand that she has had men in her life that she did NOT make rules for and you are NOT one of them. She has just spoken to you, so you must listen. Women make rules for unattractive men and they break rules for attractive ones. Dont waste your time, it's better spent pursuing new opportunities with women who show genuine, unmitigated, desire for you.
@@thomaskatt4450 Pursuing and chasing overlap and are used interchangeably in the dating world. If you want a woman who is marriage material, go after a woman who values her womanhood and femininity. Go after someone who does not just go out with someone because they are good on paper. To a woman who needs to be chased, the man's biggest competition is not other men but the woman's childhood, upbringing, family values, past relationships, moral compass, and standards. There are a lot of things going on in a woman's brain and inner circle, why it's not always easy to date these kinds of women. If a woman had sex with a man she met within 24 hours, do you think that man would not have any questions about how many times she'd done that? If you are in it for the fun and sex part only, go for the no chasing.
So, basically when it comes men they have to be traditional. While women can be modern, feminist and take all the privilege. "It's the men's job to chase". No it is not. Not to these modern feminists who are just so full of themselves and despise men yet want to be chased by them. Women have to have that feminine quality that will attract genuine men. All high value men despise feminists. So good luck with your thought process.
@@thomaskatt4450the same could be said about men, they too treat attractive and unattractive women differently. This means a man setting boundaries like that has similar experiences and hence must be avoided. That's the most stupid and one sided logic that you can only find in those alpha podcasts with pimps. You'd call a woman without rules ( standards) easy and disrespect her and you have problem with her boundaries too. As op said, it's not that only the man makes the effort. But if men want feminine women, they have to take on masculine roles without whining too. Everything can't be in your favor.
Love this! Well done & explained... My husband pursued me for a few years. I turned down 2 marriage proposals from him. I was extremely cautious and people warned me about "red flags". Yet, he continued to pursue me. We waited for sex till marriage. We've been married 17 years & have 2 boys. We are more in love today than ever and he is an amazing father to our 2 boys, one with cerebral palsy. All this to say, saving sex till marriage wasn't easy at ALL, but we are reaping the far reaching rewards today! Marriage is AMAZING when it's established on a strong foundation in Christ. ❤ 🎉
The connection shouldn't end because you got intimate too soon, just as "don't let the man chase you," idea...😅. It's compatibility issues regarding values, etc. that usually end the connection. Because in the long run; it's the loyalty and respect for each other that count the most. Being honest is key as our character determines our destiny...😊.
Communication about those intentions red flags would help greatly you'll never find d exactly what you want at first relation requires compromise that's acceptable to both partners.
I have made those mistakes in my life but thankfully have abstained for the last almost 4 years. I now appreciate wanting to wait until I’m married instead of getting involved with someone that doesn’t want to commit to being married. I have chosen to honor the LORD with my life and my choices. I pray more people can come to that decision.
I totally agree sex should never appear on a relationship at all not only first date because a relationship supposed to mean a-lot more than that, it should be built for a strong bond.
Super cringe. How can I know on a first date if I am even interested in long term. And then again I dated slowly and the s** was terrible. What a waste of time
You goes against your own experience. You said you lost interest after sex. Well that’s why “hard to get” women don’t sleep with men who don’t love them. Men do not run from women who “play hard to get.” Men chase women who they are attracted to and want to commit to. Men who run away from hard to get women (aka women who are not easy) are not men but boys.
I took it that he lost interest after sex because he slept with her/them before getting to know her/them. After the act, he got to really know her better and realized they were actually incompatible. I mean, I think we've all been there (especially when we're young) that we see someone attractive, hype them up in our mind, our hormones are going off, but then we REALLY start talking and getting to know them more, but then realize they're nothing like we imagined...in a bad way 😖 Some people (again especially young ones) just end up sleeping with people they don't really know well...others of us don't do this...but both categories of ppl have the same experience of being attracted to an incompatible person. It's life. 🤷🏻♀️ Not everyone we date or sleep with is or has to be the "forever" person. In fact, only one (maybe 2 if you're a divorcee) will make the cut for becoming the wife/husband. Nobody is "bad" for realizing incompatibility and calling it quits. Side note, "playing hard to get"...idk if your mind equates this phrase to just having sex "early" or not, but let me just say that games attract players. Players are attracted to chasing, not you. Men interested in genuine healthy relationships are not going to take games. They'll smell them a mile away and peace out. They'll know you're trying to manipulate them and have unresolved psychological issues such as attachment issues brought on by childhood traumas, by choosing bad men to be in a relationship with, etc. My advice in dating is that people should 1. Have a healthy mind: a good self esteem, confidence and at least be working on psych issues 2. Get to really know the individual you're dating before you sleep with them and/or marry them.
@@Disorrderno not true. There is a difference between not sleeping with you quickly and acting completely uninterested and making no effort back. Most girls just don't make an effort back and are too hard to get along with. Playing games is something boys like more then men. Biggest players I know love the chase and will chase until they get it, then bounce.
That’s true but I can tell u that my ex didn’t run away from me, I was hard to get because I wasn’t sure of being in a relationship and guess what? I’m sure he’s never loved me, he used me, betrayed me, lied to me and so on. It’s hard for me to accept that I lived all of this when he seemed so sure of wanting me. Toxic men go after hard to get women because they know they’re safe with them but have no heart and no intelligence to give them love and respect And with hard to get women I mean women who don’t jump immediately in a relationship or bed but want to know the person
It's funny how women make all these rules and make the idiots who are stupid enough to love and respect them jump trough hoops, while spreading their buttcheeks wide open the moment they meet a guy that makes their pussy tingle... 😈 Keep them working, girls. 😂😂😂
I don’t believe in the commentary on chasing. It’s true there are several types of chasing and some of them toxic too. But if the man is not pursuing the situation when the ball is in his court aka when you showed him interest back and make it obvious that it is mutual and all of a sudden they’re expecting you to call/text/make plans first it’s a big red flag. A man needs to be a man to have a foundation.
@@SaveTheMessenger intensely pursuing can be seen and called as chasing and in that case i will always love being chased because that’s what real men do.
The question is what do you bring to the table? Please don’t say give you love and a child because all woman can do that and I have to say you need a man to get pregnant. So what have you done to deserve to get chase ? Are you special ? What makes you special over the others? Being good looking is not enough because there always going to be other woman better looking and sexier than you. Yheaa I know why you want to be chase, is because you want to feel special but you are not. I will give you the secret of the majority of men that “ chase” woman 1- they start to accumulate the “ cattle” 2 -after getting all the cattle ( woman, let’s say 10 woman) then they start to “chase” all of them. They call, text all of them. 3- when the first one shows that she is interested in him and confirms it, he will stop chasing the other ones, unless if he sees that the “favorite one” is showing strong signals. He picks the first one that shows interest. The men who “ chase” do this. You really think they are chasing you because you are special? You are not, you are one of the 10 he is chasing, is an illusion of chasing. Please don’t ask them if it’s true because they will not put at risk the time they have invested. Are you going to tell the man you are with that he is not your first choice ? This man of this video is telling the truth. A real man will respect himself and will not chase a woman or play stupid games. If he sees participation he will do something about it. You are one of those girls like to be chased . Are you one of those that play hard to get? If you are, the type of man you are getting are the ones that use the cattle strategies. I have to ask how your life is going? Are you getting the man you want? If you want the man you like do something about it. This is the reason why a lot of woman are unhappy they are not with they guy they like. Stop seen Disney movies do something about it or end up with the cattle man You say need to bee a man. I have to ask ¿what’s to be a woman? I think both should do something . If he text you. Do the same, start a conversation don’t be like ( he most always start the conversation) I will give you an example there is a woman she have feelings for me. I know this because all her friends told me and I have seen it to. I have to say I like her personality but she is a 4 I am a 7. This mean I can get a better looking woman than her. I have texted her 4 times and she always super available but she never start a conversation because she is afraid or woman ego. Due to the her low attractiveness and low self esteem, I decide to be with a sexier, funnier, better looking and a confident woman than her. ¿Who is the one that lose? I find out the more insecure the woman is, the play harder to get and want to get chase due to the low self esteem.
Oh boy please. After reading the first sentence i didn’t even continue. This comment was not for you you can keep it going with your life in the red pill content creator’s pages. Ain’t nothing for you
A lot of relationship coaches teach on letting a man chase you. I understand the whole concept of a man being high valued, but shouldn’t it be a mutual give and take? I mean a woman shouldn’t being doing all the reaching out contacting first/texting and calling all the time. Because if he doesn’t make any effort whatsoever ever back then he’s plainly just “not that interested “
Matt Hussey said the same thing about the chase part. I respectfully disagree. Relationship coaches who do not agree in the chase part are not even married themselves. Making a man chase you does not mean it's ONLY man who is making the effort. Men and women show interest in different ways. A man asks and invites while the woman must display interest, appreciation, and availability. If the woman rejects all the attempts to connect, the man should stop, or else that's already pestering and borderline stalking. A man can sense it if he can move forward. A man should not play mind games with this. It is a man's job to pursue a woman. In the EARLY stages, the man SHOULD initiate most of the effort and interactions, while the woman responds and shows interest. Women, of course, can start on some, but most of it should come from the man. A lot of times, the woman is just not sure. The good-looking man seems good on paper, but she asks herself, "Should I have a relationship with this man?" This is when the man can chase. Attraction is not a choice but a relationship is. This is how a woman can measure and test a man's genuine interest. A man who gives up early because a woman is "hard to get" means he does not like her enough. He does not have enough fuel to go on. When a woman senses this, she should let him go. He is not in it for good. Oprah said, "If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay."
Like I told someone else here, chasing and pursuing are two different things. Pursuing is a man showing consistent interest in you, as long as he sees you're engaged. Chasing is a man heavily trying to convince you to like him back.
@@SaveTheMessenger Pursuing and chasing overlap and are used interchangeably in the dating world. Here is the thing: The woman may like and be interested in a man but may have reservations. A man may experience feeling breadcrumbed at this point because of that reservation, whatever that is. Is he going to pursue or chase her? No problem here being liked. It's her trust that needs to be earned. Either or, a man who does not have marriage in mind and just wants booty will lose patience. Easy. Next!
You make a good point. A man should reach out. But a man after a while he feels rejected if he puts in a lot of effort and it doesn’t lead anywhere. In a guys head it’s like she doesn’t even like me let me just stop bothering her
This man actually Makes a lot of valid points I didn’t think I’d come out of this understanding and agreeing with him. Everything he said was true and it all happened to me…I didn’t even have to wait for him to finish saying his sentences because I already knew what he was gonna say. I already knew the answer I just didn’t have anyone to confirm it. I am amazed! Great video!
great ideas. one thing about making men chase me, i always thought that it didnt mean women should be hard to get, instead it was more about letting the guy work for your trust and pursue you
U have a point me and my present bf started with a lust then became interested then became attached and now were heading towards planning for our future together 😊 it takes longer but the important thing i learned from my past experience is communication is a must, and being true to yourself be honest to him makes it much clearer and also respect for both parties must be involved 😊
You really make sense. I always knew it was a bad idea to make a man chase you. It could be the thrill of the chase he's after, not you. I'm an older woman and wise enough to know that it's a bad idea. No game-playing is always the best way. Silly games are for children.
Thank you for being so open, honest, and vulnerable; in sharing your personal information with us. Your videos are fantastic. I definitely learn a lot!
And what if we have abandonment as a child and so every guy that doesn't show they like u then u like them. I have given up and just am a bachelorette and like having seggs
Such an intriguing video! Exploring the psychology behind how men fall in love is fascinating. It's amazing how understanding these aspects of the male brain can help build stronger, healthier relationships. The emphasis on emotional connection and communication resonates deeply.
*Discovering how men fall in love helps us navigate our own relationships better. Let's celebrate the intricacies of love and strive to create a world filled with genuine connections.*
My husband and I met when he was 17 and I was 18. It was instant attraction and definitely lust at the beginning. We made each other wait a few months before we crossed the line into bed. It was obviously the right thing to do for many reasons. But it was tough as hell at the time 😂 Been together 24 years/married 17!
Im so glad I listened to this because I never thought that a husband providing for his household is his way of love. I was never told to work since we got married and I had an option to do so if I wanted to, so I prefer to serve him at home and our household and loving it. He provided everything and never complained. We're married almost 19 years now and we're also bf so it helps a lot in a relationship that you also want to do things together because you enjoy each other's company.
I love this person, he is someone who is so different in my life. So caring, so supportive, and so good and humble. He flirts with me and also when m in Trouble, listens to me, makes me thing understand. I know it's one sided but, I love him..alot..have been since 2 yrs...
Dear Ismael,it was a such pleausure to heard this video.tnx a lot.especially I appreciate your honesty in last one,two Minutes! And it is good from one male to hear that. All the best! ❤
Hi. I prayed for your comfort and care. Most importantly, you are loved. We are rooting for your success. I have Heart Failure. I don't know everything you are going through, yet I am sympathetic.
Hello, I hope you’re doing okay. I hope you don’t mind me recommending for you to look up Innerspeak healing by Jean Adrienne. I am sure it will help you on your journey, if you’re alive now, your journey is till going on and you need healing (even if science says it’s not possible for your body) at least for your soul. I did not experience what you’re going through right now, but it was very serious that I don’t wanna share here. Innerspeak was the best thing to help me. I hope you find comfort in what’s best for you ❤
Been getting to know this one guy, it's been 8 months, we haven't had sex yet and I'm glad that we haven't, the urge is there obviously but we do enjoy each other's company outdoors and all... I hope it'll be magical when we get to that stage
I told my husband that I don’t chase. You are either in or out. You do that one thing and I would be gone! We lasted 20 years and he did that thing….. I have never looked back.
When I was 18 I saw this boy at my school and fell in love instantly. I sent him a letter and we were together for 10 months and then he broke up with me. I was devastated. It’s been 13 years now and I am still in love with him. I’ve never felt this about anyone else. I can’t forget about him, it feels like I’m living in a nightmare. Miss him so much. He was a very sweet, shy and adorable boy. The kind of boy you never notice, he had no friends. He’s still single today. The only thing I know is that I want to see him again, but I don’t know how 😔 My heart is forever bound to him 🥺💔
Im so sorry to hear that, may I ask why the breakup? (If you dont mind, sorry, Im simply curious). Wishing you all the best, and I hope that your hearts will heal one way or another
@@zevirra4494 He said his feelings had changed and he wanted to "take a break” or just end it. But that's what I still keep wondering about, I don't really remeber why his feelings changed or maybe if he didn't say why.. It just happend so fast, only weeks before he said he loved me and missed me and we spent everyday together almost, and then he just started getting distant. I guess that's why I clicked on this video, I need to understand why he fell out of love and maybe how to get his attention somehow again 😊 which probably won't happen, but the last thing you lose is hope I guess. Thank you for your kind words, wishing you all the best too
Maybe, just maybe, after 10 months being together, he realized, he didn't love you as much as you loved him. So, receiving your love felt kinda heavy to him (he felt guilt for he couldn't reciprocate your love the way you deserved) If that was the case, don't worry sweetheart, he just isn't the one for you. It's not your fault. You deserve someone who wants you as much as you want him. 💕
Currently, I am in a relationship with a man 6 years younger than me, something I thought wouldn’t happen at my age of 27. He is kind, ambitious and we have respect for each other. He is so patient as well and great with children. I worry he is focusing more on our physical connection and not enough on our emotional connection. Any advice on how to deepen our emotional connection in a natural and healthy way?
My ex was like this too. 3 years younger than me. The quickest way is honestly to ask him how he views you. If he's really a man & really in love with you, he wouldn't avoid critical discussions like these unlike my ex did
Try to find moments where you are completely focused on each other. No distractions. No TV, no phones, nothing. And then try to have a conversation about the things you like about him. Wait to see if he reciprocates the comments.
Thank you for your time. Love how you cover a lot of different situations. Not all men or women be exactly the same. My basic Takeaway is for me. To be aware of how fast certain steps take or certain steps that are missed. I want to learn as much as I can. I will listen to TED talk and you referred to as well as the author. Again, thank you for putting goodness out there
Love is commitment. Its an active decision to be with someone through adversities. Romance is fleeting. Its the thrill of the beginning that will eventually fade away when they find someone more attractive. However, many people fail to keep the promise because committing is too much. Love is a decision.
absolutely great video! please keep them coming. I agree 100% that abstaining can be rewarding. Too much casual sex rewires our brain, so we become addicted to the 'pump and dump' feeling. In return, that'd jeopardize our future possibilities to fall in love or even feel it. People should stop throwing away right and left advice about 'yeah girl go for the hoephase' because sex does not equal empowerment
@@CordeliaWagner please stop promoting the "hoe mentality" it's hurting young girls and women. men who sleep with many prostitutes of course end up struggling in a relationship, coz they will long for the pump and dump feeling. This leads to cheating as sleeping with strangers turns to an addiction. women can enjoy sex with a serious partner. Often one night stands are sloppy, the women dont even climax, dont even remember the guy's name. With a serious partner u can talk about fantasies, what u like, when someone loves u they put effort to pleasing u and making it feel amazing. This is not the case with casual sex. there are studies about the harmful effects of numerous sexual partners. The more partners one has, the more they lose the ability to feel a strong loving intimate bond with someone. This damage may be permanent too as it rewires the brain. i used to think like u, i used to think my friend raising awareness about this is dumb and backwards. It took me over 6 years to realize how damaging casual sex with random people is.
@@CordeliaWagnerbeing sexual all the time does not mean you're a strong independent women that's bullshit fucking everybody everywhere just means you're a hoe have some respect for yourself girls like you are the one who degenerated our society
Females have always felt pressurised into instant sex. They feel the man will go elsewhere if they reject his advances. So what if he does? If you want to keep him, or think you do, it’s essential for you to get to know each other, and develop a strong bond. A lot of men are frightened of attachment. If this is obvious, ditch him. Don’t waste your time by thinking he will change. He won’t.
Thank you for these profound insights! 🙏 And I really love your approach to the chasing matter. This POV is so overdue and really should be spreaded in order to inhibit this toxic dating culture which gets provided everywhere! You should make some extra videos on this topic :)
I so agree with everything you have said I never developed anything for anyone if I slept with them it happened wen I didn’t sleep with someone ( I deliberately did that and feelings developed from it )
Marriages and relationships should not be based on love because love is a transient and unreasonable feeling. They should be based on a sense of duty and respect.
I always thought that when a man chases a woman he tries to win her over? Hence more dates in the beginning, laughs, sexual attraction etc. I think a man should always chase his woman and vice versa, almost like neverending dating 😉 I suppose the notion of "chasing" can be subjective according to some of these comments, but this is generally what I think real love is; a mutual, deep connection between two people who never stop trying to make each other happy. They're chasing after that happiness ❤
Like I told someone else here, chasing and pursuing are two different things. Pursuing is a man showing consistent interest in you, as long as he sees you're engaged. Chasing is a man heavily trying to convince you to like him back.
Love being felt can’t be explained, because it’s different for everyone. No 2 people experience love the same way and gender has nothing to do with it. Past experiences, upbringings and genuineness makes these emotions strong and real.
There is an old saying never truer. Men fall in love with their eyes, women fall in love with their ears. In other words, men fall in love with what they see, and women fall in love with what they hear.
True, but now is kinda different Women are waking up more each day, and they fall in love with what they see (no just looks💀, but actions, achievements, etc)
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
Ismael is giving great insight here, pay attention to what he is saying. A lasting relationship needs ground work first..then when the time comes and you go to the next step, it will have true meaning. Intimacy is important, but it's not the foundation of a committed relationship, "love" is.
Hello. Never watched you on UA-cam. I follow you by Instagram. Thanks for those tips. Definitely men and women have different energies. I love my femenine energy and you are right; men doesn't fall in love by sex.❤
True. I'd rather die a virgin than marry a man that's going to want to have segs with other women anyway and is actually "tolerating" me. No thank you.
If you want a loyal man you need to test his patience and loyalty and accept That you will be a long time alone because That is very rare breed but still exist. Remeber when someone is interested in you even if you said to them they are ugly they still will be atracted to you even if you hurt their feelings
All women are hard to get for the men they're not attracted to. They make endless requirements and make the candidates jump trough hoops just to be with them. With the man that makes your pussy wet however, you are ready to spread your legs right away regardless of consequences.
Thanks to all of you that have subscribed to my channel.
It means a lot to me to see you want to learn about these topics.
Hi 👋 … would like to get to know you. Am single n interested to talk to u
😊
Just purchased your book and look forward to getting into it later 🙏
@@hekimauelewa6🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉😂😂😂😂is 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉😂⁹🎉Qdoba l⁰⁰ò
Men only love one woman trully in his lifetime and remember her whole life...is it true?
My husband & I were love at first sight. His idea to make us wait (4 months!) to have sex b/c he wanted us to mean more to eachother. That made our first time sooo special. And here we are 23yrs later still honeymooning. 💞
that’s so beautiful 😻
Thank you, so true it’s so easy to rush and jump right in the sack. But the truth is for me, sex and money. Do not bring us everlasting love. Friendship and really knowing each other and excepting each other for who we are. I like to say you can bend but don’t break. The same goes for them. Going into relationship trying to change them does not work. Just my opinion.
@@alytaylor8974 You're absolutely right! Neither does jealousy. Jealousy is absolutely evil. It's the root of everything bad.
@@zanna9857 thank you for reaching out. Jealousy is something that I don’t find attractive. And actually, it brings me anxiety if someone gets easily jealous. I don’t consider myself a jealous person. I believe we all have tendencies at one point to become jealous. But I have never been in that situation. Also, it’s not one of my traits.
@@alytaylor8974 Sounds like your pretty level headed & confident. There is so much more freedom, happiness & joy in a relationship that does not tolerate jealousy. My husband & I laugh & have fun w/people, even our Exs! Glad you don't tolerate it either. So many people think it's 'love' but honestly it's just childish insecurities.
My mom and my grandma told me men love their wives whom they had build houses for. I remember reading letters between Samih Algaasim and Mahmoud Darwish, two famous Arab poets, one wrote to the other “….we don’t love those who help us; we love those we help.” I’m not an expert am still looking for answers but it seems to me that we in general love what we invest in and invest in what we love.
We certainly invest in the things we love and care about. Thanks for sharing your insights.
Yeah, men love women they spend money on. The end. Anyone who claims gold diggers are bad is a liar.
@tintinesk5 that happens in both directions I feel. It always depends on the people involved.
@@SaveTheMessengeryes. I think its more of a human nature where we tend to chase those that pull away.
Unfortunately I wasted my youth not knowing or understanding how men love. That's how they love by providing. How else? It makes sense. I've wanted a marriage home and security my whole life. Never happened.
I always tell my female friends that men falling in love takes time because they fall in love when they make memories with you, spend time with you etc. and this video proves that right
same applies to women, but people are different
@@augustek5382 Yeah everyone’s different for sure! But from my experience women can fall for the person you are or who they think you are and that’s why they sometimes fall in love quicker than men I think.
@@augustek5382people are different .. yet they are the same.
All humans have some common basic charecteristics.
☺️
Time, money, attention👍
Stages 3
1) lust
2) attraction
3) attachment
Never make man chase you
A secure man never chase
2) how men fall in love
Build strong emotional connection
It took time to develope genuine love
Never chase but does not mean giving mixed signals. A lot of guys think never chase is giving mixed uninterested signals!
Thanks for the summary
what's the difference between chasing and going after?
@@lovelyrookie3368 no difference
@@augustinefaithdefenderthank you! Like don’t have me confused because you don’t wanna chase me .
You are so right especially on the chasing part. Men who chase you never know how to keep you. The man I currently like right now and who likes/loves me back .. went after me ...but he never chased. And if he did feel like I was playing games he fell back and waited for me. A man who is interested/serious won't chase. He will express his interest and wants of you but won't compete nor chase after you.and that's the key. You don't won't a chaser ladies they are temporary
But If u don't play hard to get doesn't that make u kinda easy ?
Lol play hard to get, keep living in ur games/fantasies. Being easy is abt opening ur legs to unknown guys without any emotional connection/feelings. Thats called being easy. Not some girl who is getting with a guy she likes and is direct abt her emotions instead of playing stupid games. Mature males r not into all that nonsense nor do they gaf abt chasing someone. Romantic movies and K dramas aren’t real life sweetheart.
💯💯💯
@jiminjamless2465 not necessarily I call it reciprocating interest. Men need to know you want them as well.
May I know how "chasing" feels like? Like is it normal in the beginning? After yk when we've confessed to e/o?
Love is like a whisper in the wind which cannot be heard or seen with our eyes. It can only be recognized by two people who are ancient enough to take the courage to open up for each other and who constantly invest in each other. Love is like a tree. It only gets deeper and better the longer the journey takes.
You need to write more! This is a beautiful comment ❤
sooo idealistic
Love is like a whisper in the wind which cannot be heard??? Omg this is so cheesy. What does it even mean? 🙃
Well said ❤
So true. Love takes time and needs healthy growth, like a tree.
He got to the attachment stage SUPER fast and I think it was because there was a lot of non-sexual physical contact which was giving him oxytocin. I’m very cautious about letting myself get attached so I was a bit anxious about it but he was so patient with me and now I feel safe to let myself fall for him completely. He was just so sure about me so early on. The first night we spent together we didn’t have sex but he fell asleep holding my hand as if I was going to get away if he didn’t! 😂
Awww this is soooo cute
Healthy masculine energy creates a safe place for women and that’s what we need is to feel safe.
What were some of these 'non-sexual physical contacts'?. I just met someone and I really like him. Please Help a sister
That's really cute 🥲
@@rahatzaman8120 thanks 🙏
I didn’t attempt to “make men chase me” I just needed convincing that they were worth my while and wanted more than just a fling which I was never interested in. A few men chased me and asked me to marry them, but my husband was besotted with me and 27 years later he is still crazy about me. I love him very much and we are deeply attached but often he still seems to be in the lust stage 😂😂! He still tells me every day how beautiful I am and I appreciate everything he does so much. He is a great husband and father.
❤❤
Oh you’re so lucky ! I can only dream
Uuu...the lucky one
Gosh, I wish I knew you as a girlfriend.
What a lucky woman! I'm so happy for both of you
@6:31 If a man admits to me that he lost interest immediately after sex with some past woman, I immediately view him as low value. He's immediately and totally off the table for me in any sexual or romantic regard.
At least he will be honest about it and i think it is something biological. Jonathan Ashley says the same so a man really can easily seperate love and sex it is just his nature. He just has to be honest about it and don't give the woman hope but the woman who gives her flower to easy away musn't be suprized he loses interest quick.
@@devra5186 That is disrespectful right there if the man did not have those feelings why did he sleep with that woman. I have no respect for a person that can do that.
not necessarily; because i can understand not feeling sexually compatible with someone and not wanting to waste the both of your time.. don’t get me wrong, it sucks, but it’s better someone admits sexually they didn’t feel a spark w/ you vs. dragging it out. granted, as women we have way less orgasms and have pretty much normalized not being fully satisfied by our partners but if we put as much emphasis on it as men then a lot of us would be moving on or stepping out as just as much too. and it doesn’t make you “low value” to not want to settle in that area if you deem it important to your relationship. now yes, you can try to get better but it’s really up to that person if they want to continue the relationship and try, but at least they were a decent enough person to be honest about why they’re not interested imo.
@@SigmaINFJFemale There is always the town whore for hire but men are the one's choosing to entertain majority of women would not entertain these men
@@sloeberdoetwhat a flower … sounds so cringe….
That's why it takes years to see if the person is for you or not...def agree on not sleeping with someone too quickly
It doesn't take years. Once you do the work and mature and ask the right, crucial questions at the start you will get to know that person quite quickly. You have to click into your instincts. Depending on the person of course. Women. don't have years and years. Use your common sense.
@@christinarichie6171 What questions should you ask early on to know if you are compatible?
@@ellililo try something like, "Are we compatible?"
Sounds pretty accurate to me, I don't know!
I mean honestly, ask them how they spend their time.. it shows what they give energy to. Ask them about their friends.. it shows the qualities that influence them.. ask them about how they spend money.. it shows what they value.
@@ellililo Ask them what their views are regarding marriage, but don't give away the way you feel/don't make it seem like you want marriage because men will lie (subconsciously or willfully), if you're a woman whose into men ofc. Ask them how many kids they want. Observe who their friends are (they will turn into their friends especially if they're men), the music they listen to and the fans of their favorite artists/bands (to know their mindset). Everything has an influence so just observe, you don't need to ask so many questions just let people talk without interruption.
When you level up on the spiritual path, you learn the wisdom of love. It's a force that exists like gravity and it starts within. If you have a healthy connection to yourself, you are only able to truly connect with others who share love for themselves. That includes family or friends, or romantic partners. We share the love of self (essentially the Divine) with others. Everything else is just attachment. When we are able to detach from connections and reconnect with self, we know love in its purest form.
So lovely.
How do we get to that point?
@@hms9782 It's been a slow process of learning to meditate, addressing my own trauma and attachment issues. Find out your attachment style and shift all your focus on evaluating your relationships with your parents, your negative beliefs about yourself, how you've reacted in relationships. Lastly you set goals for the abundant life you want, and the steps to get there. You'll begin the process of falling in love with yourself. Anyone who joins you thereafter, needs to add to your life. You develop stronger standards and boundaries. It's a process. Then you'll be able to only allow men or anyone who love themselves into your special world.
Wow thank you. I needed to see this
Beautifully said and so true. ❤❤❤
Yes, that’s totally accurate!
In reality it’s women who fall in love with a man they sleep with. Men normally don’t fall in love with a woman they sleep too early!
To be honest: it’s much more interesting not to sleep together immediately. It makes little things much more thrilling and you get to know each other much better and like this you also learn to talk about what you like much better.
And: what I realized as well: when a man loves a woman deeply he can even have an emotional orgasm like we woman have when we love someone totally and give us fully!
So it helps to increase intimacy on all levels, intellectually, emotionally and also physically.
Thanks for sharing your perspective. I agree wholeheartedly.
Sex ruined everything
Usually women fall for a man they see as a potential partner and sleep with if there’s no connection…it just won’t work the same. Yet it depends on the woman
No buddy...women also doesn't fall in love with the person they sleep with. It's a misconception about women. 👍
@@akankshatiwari8113hum no it is biological. But with the hook up culture, it changes the brain of these people and get less and less attached to people. They will end up alone or with someone they don't care just to not be alone
Wow, *this here is rare to hear from a man* in such a clear and reflected way: not only scientifically accurate, but also honest and with a responsible and honest approach. So many more men and women should get that we need *time* in order to have love. We would have much more happiness and far less pain in this world.
Thank you!
Just let love happen plz people! Stop trying to control or manifest or whatsoever!!! LOVE just happens or it doesn’t! Period! Thank You
That approach is very naive.
Educate yourself about traumabonding instead of soreading this immature nonsense.
@@CordeliaWagner Are AI or human being? How letting feelings flow is a naive approach?! This truly shows you never experienced true love in life… sadly. Love happens dear, you can’t force Love. At least the true one.
EXACTLY!
Very well said! 👏🏼👏🏼 you can’t force love, only the lucky ones experience it and from what I’ve seen it is rare.
🎯
Wow that explanation on “Never get a man to chase you” was probably one of the phrases that completely changed my mindset the moment you said it. That’s absolutely spot on. I never thought of that! Thank you! I’m currently dating this guy who I feel so compatible and safe with. I’ve constantly expressed my interest without the fear of expecting him to chase me. And he reciprocates with showing me interest. Hope this works out ❤😊
I never believed in making a man I like to chase me. I don't believe in that kind of process where we are only obsessing over what the other person wants, we should look out for ourselves too. Do "I" feel good around him, do I want this guy , am I happy with him, does he make me happy?
This video has answered that part perfectly.
I don’t know, this doesn’t sound like falling in love at all. If anything, I think anyone who still feels the urge to be with other people while in a relationship, is someone who isn’t or has probably never fallen in love.
When it happens, you seriously just want that person (not that you can’t see others as attractive, you’re just not tempted by them) and don’t even think about risk losing them for something that you’re already getting from them. It’s waaaay deeper than chemistry, and honestly, more about them than it is about you. And it also doesn’t feel like you’re suppressing yourself or losing your freedom, because you could be with anyone else, but it still feels right to just be with them.
Or at least that’s what I came to discover after years of relationships based on lust and infatuation. I thought that was love because I had never experienced it, but this year it finally happened and it’s unlike anything I’ve felt before.
Thank you. I’m tired of hearing about how men fall in love because it sounds nothing about actual love and more like a decision of a well played and well planned scheme for self benefits . That’s not love at all. It’s still usage even if the both of them are satisfied and happy in the relationship.
Thank you for speaking on behalf of real love.
Oh that means I never fell in love 😮
Thank you for sharing.
I can't thank you enough for this comment. Because I've never been in love and that's my only dream I get to someday. But every corner of the internet there is some man saying how women are delusional and men will always want to f*ck other women 😪it's so depressing. Your comment is a diamond amongst turds
It makes all men sound like a flight risk which is definitely not true. Sure some men are all their lives others grow out of it and others never are. My partner has never been like that he knew how he felt about me before we were ever together and I’ve never had to question it.
been with my guy 21.5 years :) dated for 1, engaged for 5, married 16, 1 kiddo :) happy life.
🤔 I've always wondered why people in happy relationships come under relationship advice videos to let everyone know how perfectly happy they are. Girl are you really okay? 😅
@@porchiajohnson1441 😂😂🙈🤭I have no idea
When l read this l always remember that thousand men, happilly married, with kiddo, contact me and asking for sex😢😢😢
@@porchiajohnson1441 probably is, just reinforcing her example. Same here. Dated for 6 yrs. Married for 25. Communication, compromise, commitment are key. 🔑
@@porchiajohnson1441It's interesting to watch a video on how men fall in love, don't you think? Even for people in happy relationships.
We been together for 7 years now we have 3 children, and he says he loves me and adores me still after all these years 💜
7 years is nothing. Come back to us after 20 years.
@@christinarichie6171Exactly what I was thinking.
😂 it’s only 7 years ! Lol
Do you feel loved? 😊
.....and why do u feel the need to tell this on the internet in this random video...lol
Even if english is not my mother tongue (because i'm italian), it's the First time i can understand EVERYTHING without even subtitles. You have this power
As a woman and a sexual abuse victim since young age, the first stage of falling in love you presented got me shaking. It honestly paralizes me that it has psychologial and biological confirmation. A lot of my ""romantic"" experiences proved to me "no matter how interesting and beautifull person you see in the mirror, you will always be just a body to men" - this thought is (and probably always will) haunt me. It will take quite a time for me to process and accept what i heard in this video. I would love to predend your wrong and i really really hope you are.
Its sexist to think "you're only a body to men". Cuz that is obviously not true. Yes alot of men go off physical appearance and that is normal and okay, women do that too. But that doesn't mean they do not care about your personality.
@@idkwhattoputheretbhbuthere Yes im aware of that. I agree with you it is sexsist to say "all men" are like that but that's also part of my inner conflict - i really don't want to think that way of men and myself. Yet on bad days i sometimes do. My thoughts and feelings are valid as result of abuse BUT that doesnt mean they are a right thing to believe in.
@@annawolnik3312 They aren't valid. I got abused by a woman when I was 15, but that doesn't give me a right to feel like all women are bad or something like that. Because I know they aren't. One person did that, not the whole gender. What some people do, doesn't make up for the whole group.
I am sorry that you got abused. It must have been very traumatizing and my sincerest apologies.
@@idkwhattoputheretbhbuthere First of all, we have the full right to FEEL anything, even something thats not moral - suppressing emotions is not healthy. Second, Theres a diffrence between feeling, thinking and acting - your personal feelings don't harm anyone.
I think we have similar experiences to this topic (sadly) so please dont invalidate fellings i shared saying they are sexsist or i have no right to feel them. Those arent beliefs they are emotions !!!
In the end we both share simiar opinion I just feel like u missunderstood me using the word "valid" Everyting you pointed out in your second reply i already said above, just with my own words.
Im also sorry you had to experience this, I think its brave of you to say it as a man. take care
@@annawolnik3312 If you have emotions which is basically disliking all men, that is sexist, but you can get rid of that. You gotta go to therapy and get rid of that, or something else that can help you. Maybe a male close friend? It's not healthy to have such a hatred. Trust me, it's going to affect you if you don't get help for it. I am not trying to invalidate your feelings, I am just saying that you gotta work on them. It will feel so much better.
A healthy man loves one woman, he knows she is not perfect, but loves her because she puts effort and makes him feel wanted and needed. An unhealthy man does not love.
Women sure love fairytales
@@TheUnique69ablehow's that a fairy tale?
@@samreenfatima2551 the fairytale of a healthy man wants one woman. Us men are biologically programmed to want multiple women, no matter how much we love our woman. There’s nothing wrong in us men for wanting to have multiple women.
@@TheUnique69ableOh please most men on the internet cry about being virgins and not getting women. And if they do, they whine about how horrible they are. If y‘all struggle to pull one girl and not even a good one, what makes you think you can get multiple women? 😂
You‘re setting yourself up for a life of stress and misery, if you want to pursue multiple women. Most want one partner to grow old and have a family with (As do most men). The promiscuous guys and girls just end up played, used and lonely
@@TheUnique69ablelike the original comment said, sounds like you’re an unhealthy man that cannot love
My bf is the kind who won't be intimate with someone until he is in love. ❤
isn't that demisexuality?
😂
@@valentinleguizamon9957 no it's called being smart and respecting yourself
@@minniemin1324 yeah and being demisexualbasically
And its a lie
I totally agree with your quick tip! I'm a girl, and I really think that 'playing hard-to-get' can be so cruel! I mean, I get really upset and confused when I get mixed signals, it's not funny at all, why would I do that to him? Like, I had a friend that fell victim of the hard-to-get game, and I felt really bad, cuz he really seemed hurt, and eventually came to the conclussion that he deserved better and moved on. Honestly, best decision ever. But SHE came back, and called me crying because HE wouldn't meet up with her anymore and I was like "you did that to yourself, gurl-"
I used to think like yourself when I was very young, and I know exactly that I wasn't right. The expression 'playing hard to get' means not exactly the same for different people. You have to learn to value yourself, that's the most important when you are looking for someone who is right for you. Don't feel sorry for your boyfriend when you set boundaries, don't think you are acting cruel (some men would intentionally use this "acting cruel" thing to get their way).
My Nonna had this analogy she shared with all her granddaughters. It was "The Rose in the Wind". Basically talking about how the rose was too easy to allow her petals to be blown away with the wind (boys). Eventually she looses all her petals. Now theres probably better ways to communicate the same values she tried to install into us but I got the message and since I trusted her I listened. It was a powerful imagery that kept me vigilant. I ended up meeting my husband of 20years when I was 18 years old. We were both virgins and waited until our wedding night. It was so beautiful and I am so glad we did that. We've built a beautiful life together.
I married my child hood friend after 65 n I realized we always loved each other unknowingly even though we never saw each other for over 40years
Bruh... I was like "I married my child......hood" I was scared because of first 4 words of yours
Omg that’s so cute!!
@@apoorvasrivastava0706😂
omg...i have my Childhood bestfriend who always there for me..showed care now i am widow he is more sweet and caring...but never told me he loves me...
That’s so sweet!!!
Great video, A month ago, my five-year relationship came to an end. I really can't stop thinking about the love of my life, who made the decision to leave me. I've done everything in my power to win him back, but it's all in vain, and I can't imagine my life with anyone else. I genuinely miss him and just can't stop thinking about him, even though I've tried my hardest to stop thinking about him. I'm not sure why I'm saying this here.
It's hard to say goodbye to someone you love; I experienced this when my 12-year relationship ended. However, I couldn't just let him go; instead, I tried everything to win him back. Eventually, I turned to a spiritual counsellor for assistance, and he was able to help me win him back.
Interesting! How did you locate a spiritual counsellor, and how can I get in touch with him most effectively?
His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
he is father obah eze, he has great powers, he can help you.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive
Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤
Kind of a weird block in the brain people have when it comes to the whole “getting intimate too soon” and sounds just like an excuse maybe because you realize you don’t feel the vibe. And just because she slept with you so soon doesn’t mean she does it with every single guy, you should be happy she is attracted to you in the first place to sleep with you! if you’re both feeling the vibe and the connection then be open about what you want from the start. If you don’t want to sleep with her/him too soon, don’t go to a place that has 4 walls and a bed. Grown people are able to talk. But to make someone purposely wait… also sounds like a game
Matthew Hussey said the same thing about the chase part. I respectfully disagree. Relationship coaches who do not agree in the chase part are not even married themselves.
Making a man chase you does not mean it's ONLY man who is making the effort. It's not like men chasing women looking like a puppy. Men and women show interest in different ways. A man initiates while the woman must display interest, appreciation, and availability. If the woman rejects all the attempts to connect, the man should stop, or else that's already pestering and borderline stalking. A man can sense it if he can move forward. A man should not play mind games with this. It is a man's job to pursue a woman.
In the EARLY stages, the man SHOULD initiate most of the effort and interactions, while the woman responds and shows interest. Women can start on some, but most of it should come from the man.
Men should remember that a lot of times, the woman is just not sure about men. The good-looking man seems good on paper, but she asks herself, "Am I going to like him?"; "Should I have a relationship with this man?" This is when the man can chase. Attraction is not a choice, but a relationship is, especially if you are thinking about marriage.
"Chasing" is how a woman can measure and test a man's genuine interest. A man who gives up early because a woman is "hard to get" means he does not like her enough. He does not have enough fuel to go on. When a woman senses this, she should let him go. He is not in it for good. Oprah said, "If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay."
Hussey is a grifter who panders to women. There is a difference between 'chase' and pursue. The connection should be effortless, organic, and mutual. If a women is making rules for you, understand that she has had men in her life that she did NOT make rules for and you are NOT one of them. She has just spoken to you, so you must listen. Women make rules for unattractive men and they break rules for attractive ones. Dont waste your time, it's better spent pursuing new opportunities with women who show genuine, unmitigated, desire for you.
@@thomaskatt4450 Pursuing and chasing overlap and are used interchangeably in the dating world.
If you want a woman who is marriage material, go after a woman who values her womanhood and femininity. Go after someone who does not just go out with someone because they are good on paper.
To a woman who needs to be chased, the man's biggest competition is not other men but the woman's childhood, upbringing, family values, past relationships, moral compass, and standards. There are a lot of things going on in a woman's brain and inner circle, why it's not always easy to date these kinds of women.
If a woman had sex with a man she met within 24 hours, do you think that man would not have any questions about how many times she'd done that? If you are in it for the fun and sex part only, go for the no chasing.
So, basically when it comes men they have to be traditional. While women can be modern, feminist and take all the privilege.
"It's the men's job to chase". No it is not. Not to these modern feminists who are just so full of themselves and despise men yet want to be chased by them.
Women have to have that feminine quality that will attract genuine men. All high value men despise feminists. So good luck with your thought process.
@@thomaskatt4450the same could be said about men, they too treat attractive and unattractive women differently. This means a man setting boundaries like that has similar experiences and hence must be avoided. That's the most stupid and one sided logic that you can only find in those alpha podcasts with pimps. You'd call a woman without rules ( standards) easy and disrespect her and you have problem with her boundaries too. As op said, it's not that only the man makes the effort. But if men want feminine women, they have to take on masculine roles without whining too. Everything can't be in your favor.
@@thomaskatt4450 You like your women naive, easy prey and that never learn. You like them easy to use, exploit and abuse.
The chase should never end in a relationship, partners should always aim to put their best foot forward.
So, it has been studied and proven that the attraction stage (romantic love) does not have the end over time. Romantic love can last a lifetime.
Yeah it kind of evolves during time
Whats the name of the study?
Love this! Well done & explained...
My husband pursued me for a few years. I turned down 2 marriage proposals from him.
I was extremely cautious and people warned me about "red flags".
Yet, he continued to pursue me. We waited for sex till marriage.
We've been married 17 years & have 2 boys.
We are more in love today than ever and he is an amazing father to our 2 boys, one with cerebral palsy.
All this to say, saving sex till marriage wasn't easy at ALL, but we are reaping the far reaching rewards today!
Marriage is AMAZING when it's established on a strong foundation in Christ. ❤
🎉
Bestest comment ever❤️❤️❤️
Something most young people lack today. Social media makes it look like it's ok to have sex with someone you just met.
The connection shouldn't end because you got intimate too soon, just as "don't let the man chase you," idea...😅. It's compatibility issues regarding values, etc. that usually end the connection. Because in the long run; it's the loyalty and respect for each other that count the most. Being honest is key as our character determines our destiny...😊.
Communication about those intentions red flags would help greatly you'll never find d exactly what you want at first relation requires compromise that's acceptable to both partners.
Right. And too soon is different for many people, that could be 3 dates, 3 weeks, 3 months, 3 yrs. Etc
Degenerate women gonna justify any bs
Perfect perception
I have made those mistakes in my life but thankfully have abstained for the last almost 4 years. I now appreciate wanting to wait until I’m married instead of getting involved with someone that doesn’t want to commit to being married. I have chosen to honor the LORD with my life and my choices. I pray more people can come to that decision.
I admire you for the new path you've chosen for yourself.
@@SaveTheMessengerThank you! 😊
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻❤️
❤
Lmao, what bs😂. Ain't no man wants it someone else got for free😂
Womyn suddenly find religion when they become powerless 😂
As a psychologist and a wife, this is a must watch for me. Thank you for sharing something important.
I totally agree sex should never appear on a relationship at all not only first date because a relationship supposed to mean a-lot more than that, it should be built for a strong bond.
Super cringe. How can I know on a first date if I am even interested in long term. And then again I dated slowly and the s** was terrible. What a waste of time
First of all I appreciate your honesty and transparency as a man.
Secondly, this video has been saved for future reference 😅
You goes against your own experience. You said you lost interest after sex. Well that’s why “hard to get” women don’t sleep with men who don’t love them. Men do not run from women who “play hard to get.” Men chase women who they are attracted to and want to commit to. Men who run away from hard to get women (aka women who are not easy) are not men but boys.
I took it that he lost interest after sex because he slept with her/them before getting to know her/them. After the act, he got to really know her better and realized they were actually incompatible.
I mean, I think we've all been there (especially when we're young) that we see someone attractive, hype them up in our mind, our hormones are going off, but then we REALLY start talking and getting to know them more, but then realize they're nothing like we imagined...in a bad way 😖
Some people (again especially young ones) just end up sleeping with people they don't really know well...others of us don't do this...but both categories of ppl have the same experience of being attracted to an incompatible person.
It's life. 🤷🏻♀️ Not everyone we date or sleep with is or has to be the "forever" person. In fact, only one (maybe 2 if you're a divorcee) will make the cut for becoming the wife/husband. Nobody is "bad" for realizing incompatibility and calling it quits.
Side note, "playing hard to get"...idk if your mind equates this phrase to just having sex "early" or not, but let me just say that games attract players. Players are attracted to chasing, not you.
Men interested in genuine healthy relationships are not going to take games. They'll smell them a mile away and peace out. They'll know you're trying to manipulate them and have unresolved psychological issues such as attachment issues brought on by childhood traumas, by choosing bad men to be in a relationship with, etc.
My advice in dating is that people should 1. Have a healthy mind: a good self esteem, confidence and at least be working on psych issues 2. Get to really know the individual you're dating before you sleep with them and/or marry them.
But what if she start to play hard-to-get after 3 days after meeting? And all these time before was nice and a lot of feedback.
@@Disorrderno not true. There is a difference between not sleeping with you quickly and acting completely uninterested and making no effort back. Most girls just don't make an effort back and are too hard to get along with. Playing games is something boys like more then men. Biggest players I know love the chase and will chase until they get it, then bounce.
That’s true but I can tell u that my ex didn’t run away from me, I was hard to get because I wasn’t sure of being in a relationship and guess what? I’m sure he’s never loved me, he used me, betrayed me, lied to me and so on. It’s hard for me to accept that I lived all of this when he seemed so sure of wanting me. Toxic men go after hard to get women because they know they’re safe with them but have no heart and no intelligence to give them love and respect
And with hard to get women I mean women who don’t jump immediately in a relationship or bed but want to know the person
It's funny how women make all these rules and make the idiots who are stupid enough to love and respect them jump trough hoops, while spreading their buttcheeks wide open the moment they meet a guy that makes their pussy tingle... 😈
Keep them working, girls. 😂😂😂
It’s quite shocking how few people know about the book Women's Magic Truths on Borlest.
Why? What is the book about?
1k likes for a bot… this comment has been spammed by multiple accounts in multiple videos
Scam
I love my man so much because of his effort and consistency during 3 years to always make us safe, happy and healthy
I don’t believe in the commentary on chasing. It’s true there are several types of chasing and some of them toxic too. But if the man is not pursuing the situation when the ball is in his court aka when you showed him interest back and make it obvious that it is mutual and all of a sudden they’re expecting you to call/text/make plans first it’s a big red flag. A man needs to be a man to have a foundation.
Chasing and pursuing are two different things though.
@@SaveTheMessenger intensely pursuing can be seen and called as chasing and in that case i will always love being chased because that’s what real men do.
@@secilperkins Do you believe the man should chase you even after start of dating?
The question is what do you bring to the table? Please don’t say give you love and a child because all woman can do that and I have to say you need a man to get pregnant. So what have you done to deserve to get chase ? Are you special ? What makes you special over the others? Being good looking is not enough because there always going to be other woman better looking and sexier than you.
Yheaa I know why you want to be chase, is because you want to feel special but you are not. I will give you the secret of the majority of men that “ chase” woman
1- they start to accumulate the “ cattle”
2 -after getting all the cattle ( woman, let’s say 10 woman) then they start to “chase” all of them. They call, text all of them.
3- when the first one shows that she is interested in him and confirms it, he will stop chasing the other ones, unless if he sees that the “favorite one” is showing strong signals. He picks the first one that shows interest.
The men who “ chase” do this. You really think they are chasing you because you are special? You are not, you are one of the 10 he is chasing, is an illusion of chasing. Please don’t ask them if it’s true because they will not put at risk the time they have invested. Are you going to tell the man you are with that he is not your first choice ?
This man of this video is telling the truth.
A real man will respect himself and will not chase a woman or play stupid games. If he sees participation he will do something about it.
You are one of those girls like to be chased . Are you one of those that play hard to get? If you are, the type of man you are getting are the ones that use the cattle strategies. I have to ask how your life is going? Are you getting the man you want? If you want the man you like do something about it. This is the reason why a lot of woman are unhappy they are not with they guy they like. Stop seen Disney movies do something about it or end up with the cattle man
You say need to bee a man.
I have to ask ¿what’s to be a woman? I think both should do something . If he text you. Do the same, start a conversation don’t be like ( he most always start the conversation)
I will give you an example there is a woman she have feelings for me. I know this because all her friends told me and I have seen it to. I have to say I like her personality but she is a 4 I am a 7. This mean I can get a better looking woman than her. I have texted her 4 times and she always super available but she never start a conversation because she is afraid or woman ego. Due to the her low attractiveness and low self esteem, I decide to be with a sexier, funnier, better looking and a confident woman than her. ¿Who is the one that lose? I find out the more insecure the woman is, the play harder to get and want to get chase due to the low self esteem.
Oh boy please. After reading the first sentence i didn’t even continue. This comment was not for you you can keep it going with your life in the red pill content creator’s pages. Ain’t nothing for you
A lot of relationship coaches teach on letting a man chase you. I understand the whole concept of a man being high valued, but shouldn’t it be a mutual give and take? I mean a woman shouldn’t being doing all the reaching out contacting first/texting and calling all the time. Because if he doesn’t make any effort whatsoever ever back then he’s plainly just “not that interested “
Matt Hussey said the same thing about the chase part. I respectfully disagree. Relationship coaches who do not agree in the chase part are not even married themselves.
Making a man chase you does not mean it's ONLY man who is making the effort. Men and women show interest in different ways. A man asks and invites while the woman must display interest, appreciation, and availability. If the woman rejects all the attempts to connect, the man should stop, or else that's already pestering and borderline stalking. A man can sense it if he can move forward. A man should not play mind games with this. It is a man's job to pursue a woman.
In the EARLY stages, the man SHOULD initiate most of the effort and interactions, while the woman responds and shows interest. Women, of course, can start on some, but most of it should come from the man.
A lot of times, the woman is just not sure. The good-looking man seems good on paper, but she asks herself, "Should I have a relationship with this man?" This is when the man can chase. Attraction is not a choice but a relationship is.
This is how a woman can measure and test a man's genuine interest. A man who gives up early because a woman is "hard to get" means he does not like her enough. He does not have enough fuel to go on. When a woman senses this, she should let him go. He is not in it for good. Oprah said, "If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay."
Like I told someone else here, chasing and pursuing are two different things. Pursuing is a man showing consistent interest in you, as long as he sees you're engaged. Chasing is a man heavily trying to convince you to like him back.
@@SaveTheMessenger Pursuing and chasing overlap and are used interchangeably in the dating world.
Here is the thing: The woman may like and be interested in a man but may have reservations. A man may experience feeling breadcrumbed at this point because of that reservation, whatever that is. Is he going to pursue or chase her? No problem here being liked. It's her trust that needs to be earned. Either or, a man who does not have marriage in mind and just wants booty will lose patience. Easy. Next!
@@TheSuperk25well said!!!
You make a good point. A man should reach out. But a man after a while he feels rejected if he puts in a lot of effort and it doesn’t lead anywhere. In a guys head it’s like she doesn’t even like me let me just stop bothering her
This man actually
Makes a lot of valid points I didn’t think I’d come out of this understanding and agreeing with him. Everything he said was true and it all happened to me…I didn’t even have to wait for him to finish saying his sentences because I already knew what he was gonna say. I already knew the answer I just didn’t have anyone to confirm it. I am amazed! Great video!
Good advice, I read years ago don't jump into relationships and it saved me from a physically abusive man who didn't understand social norms either.
great ideas. one thing about making men chase me, i always thought that it didnt mean women should be hard to get, instead it was more about letting the guy work for your trust and pursue you
U have a point me and my present bf started with a lust then became interested then became attached and now were heading towards planning for our future together 😊 it takes longer but the important thing i learned from my past experience is communication is a must, and being true to yourself be honest to him makes it much clearer and also respect for both parties must be involved 😊
He sure milked(used) you.
You really make sense. I always knew it was a bad idea to make a man chase you. It could be the thrill of the chase he's after, not you. I'm an older woman and wise enough to know that it's a bad idea. No game-playing is always the best way. Silly games are for children.
Thank you for being so open, honest, and vulnerable; in sharing your personal information with us. Your videos are fantastic. I definitely learn a lot!
You're very welcome dear.
We just fall in love with people that feel familiar to us. They trigger something in us. It’s about behavior, hormones comes second to this.
And what if we have abandonment as a child and so every guy that doesn't show they like u then u like them. I have given up and just am a bachelorette and like having seggs
Such an intriguing video! Exploring the psychology behind how men fall in love is fascinating. It's amazing how understanding these aspects of the male brain can help build stronger, healthier relationships. The emphasis on emotional connection and communication resonates deeply.
*Discovering how men fall in love helps us navigate our own relationships better. Let's celebrate the intricacies of love and strive to create a world filled with genuine connections.*
My husband and I met when he was 17 and I was 18. It was instant attraction and definitely lust at the beginning. We made each other wait a few months before we crossed the line into bed. It was obviously the right thing to do for many reasons. But it was tough as hell at the time 😂
Been together 24 years/married 17!
Im so glad I listened to this because I never thought that a husband providing for his household is his way of love. I was never told to work since we got married and I had an option to do so if I wanted to, so I prefer to serve him at home and our household and loving it. He provided everything and never complained. We're married almost 19 years now and we're also bf so it helps a lot in a relationship that you also want to do things together because you enjoy each other's company.
I like the way how genuine you are about your past experiences...
I love this person, he is someone who is so different in my life. So caring, so supportive, and so good and humble. He flirts with me and also when m in Trouble, listens to me, makes me thing understand. I know it's one sided but, I love him..alot..have been since 2 yrs...
Dear Ismael,it was a such pleausure to heard this video.tnx a lot.especially I appreciate your honesty in last one,two Minutes! And it is good from one male to hear that. All the best! ❤
Living with an incurable disease is so hard, but you just have to live life day by day as it goes by (Cancer sucks)...
It’s never the end of the world, but all problems can be solved. I never believed in miracles until Monica Erlene Mora helped me save my son.
Who is this Monica Erlene Mora? And how can I get in touch?
please check her on the web.
Hi. I prayed for your comfort and care. Most importantly, you are loved. We are rooting for your success. I have Heart Failure. I don't know everything you are going through, yet I am sympathetic.
Hello, I hope you’re doing okay.
I hope you don’t mind me recommending for you to look up Innerspeak healing by Jean Adrienne.
I am sure it will help you on your journey, if you’re alive now, your journey is till going on and you need healing (even if science says it’s not possible for your body) at least for your soul.
I did not experience what you’re going through right now, but it was very serious that I don’t wanna share here.
Innerspeak was the best thing to help me.
I hope you find comfort in what’s best for you ❤
Been getting to know this one guy, it's been 8 months, we haven't had sex yet and I'm glad that we haven't, the urge is there obviously but we do enjoy each other's company outdoors and all... I hope it'll be magical when we get to that stage
How is it going???
@@mahsamansouri533 😂😂😂 he couldn't wait no more
I told my husband that I don’t chase. You are either in or out. You do that one thing and I would be gone! We lasted 20 years and he did that thing….. I have never looked back.
When I was 18 I saw this boy at my school and fell in love instantly. I sent him a letter and we were together for 10 months and then he broke up with me. I was devastated. It’s been 13 years now and I am still in love with him. I’ve never felt this about anyone else. I can’t forget about him, it feels like I’m living in a nightmare. Miss him so much. He was a very sweet, shy and adorable boy. The kind of boy you never notice, he had no friends. He’s still single today. The only thing I know is that I want to see him again, but I don’t know how 😔 My heart is forever bound to him 🥺💔
Im so sorry to hear that, may I ask why the breakup? (If you dont mind, sorry, Im simply curious). Wishing you all the best, and I hope that your hearts will heal one way or another
If you still feel that way , I say this is your sign to reach out…
@@zevirra4494 He said his feelings had changed and he wanted to "take a break” or just end it. But that's what I still keep wondering about, I don't really remeber why his feelings changed or maybe if he didn't say why.. It just happend so fast, only weeks before he said he loved me and missed me and we spent everyday together almost, and then he just started getting distant. I guess that's why I clicked on this video, I need to understand why he fell out of love and maybe how to get his attention somehow again 😊 which probably won't happen, but the last thing you lose is hope I guess.
Thank you for your kind words, wishing you all the best too
Maybe, just maybe, after 10 months being together, he realized, he didn't love you as much as you loved him. So, receiving your love felt kinda heavy to him (he felt guilt for he couldn't reciprocate your love the way you deserved)
If that was the case, don't worry sweetheart, he just isn't the one for you. It's not your fault. You deserve someone who wants you as much as you want him. 💕
This is honestly my biggest fear. Being in love with someone for that long, but in certain cases, it’s obsession
Currently, I am in a relationship with a man 6 years younger than me, something I thought wouldn’t happen at my age of 27. He is kind, ambitious and we have respect for each other. He is so patient as well and great with children. I worry he is focusing more on our physical connection and not enough on our emotional connection. Any advice on how to deepen our emotional connection in a natural and healthy way?
My ex was like this too. 3 years younger than me. The quickest way is honestly to ask him how he views you. If he's really a man & really in love with you, he wouldn't avoid critical discussions like these unlike my ex did
Try to find moments where you are completely focused on each other. No distractions. No TV, no phones, nothing. And then try to have a conversation about the things you like about him. Wait to see if he reciprocates the comments.
He is using you. Most men are ephebophiles.
Thank you for your time. Love how you cover a lot of different situations. Not all men or women be exactly the same. My basic Takeaway is for me. To be aware of how fast certain steps take or certain steps that are missed. I want to learn as much as I can. I will listen to TED talk and you referred to as well as the author. Again, thank you for putting goodness out there
Love is commitment. Its an active decision to be with someone through adversities. Romance is fleeting. Its the thrill of the beginning that will eventually fade away when they find someone more attractive. However, many people fail to keep the promise because committing is too much. Love is a decision.
absolutely great video! please keep them coming. I agree 100% that abstaining can be rewarding. Too much casual sex rewires our brain, so we become addicted to the 'pump and dump' feeling. In return, that'd jeopardize our future possibilities to fall in love or even feel it. People should stop throwing away right and left advice about 'yeah girl go for the hoephase' because sex does not equal empowerment
That's total nonsense to quildtrip women who enjoy sex.
Every fourth men buys a prostitute at least once a month. Do they loose their ability to build long term relationshis?
@@CordeliaWagner please stop promoting the "hoe mentality" it's hurting young girls and women.
men who sleep with many prostitutes of course end up struggling in a relationship, coz they will long for the pump and dump feeling. This leads to cheating as sleeping with strangers turns to an addiction.
women can enjoy sex with a serious partner. Often one night stands are sloppy, the women dont even climax, dont even remember the guy's name. With a serious partner u can talk about fantasies, what u like, when someone loves u they put effort to pleasing u and making it feel amazing. This is not the case with casual sex.
there are studies about the harmful effects of numerous sexual partners. The more partners one has, the more they lose the ability to feel a strong loving intimate bond with someone. This damage may be permanent too as it rewires the brain.
i used to think like u, i used to think my friend raising awareness about this is dumb and backwards. It took me over 6 years to realize how damaging casual sex with random people is.
@@CordeliaWagnerbeing sexual all the time does not mean you're a strong independent women that's bullshit fucking everybody everywhere just means you're a hoe have some respect for yourself girls like you are the one who degenerated our society
@@CordeliaWagneryou don’t understand that we are different? And the situation of getting a prostitute and ONS is different?
In terms of Greek:
Lust~ Ludus (Mania; of the feeling is too intense)
Attraction~ Eros
Attachment~ Pragma
Females have always felt pressurised into instant sex. They feel the man will go elsewhere if they reject his advances. So what if he does? If you want to keep him, or think you do, it’s essential for you to get to know each other, and develop a strong bond. A lot of men are frightened of attachment. If this is obvious, ditch him. Don’t waste your time by thinking he will change. He won’t.
wow its actually all chemistry…what a hot water discovery we have here…bravo, maestro!
This was very nicely explained, thank you !
Wonderful clarity you gave me here Ismael. So simple and yet so clear. Thank you. I am applying this straight away with a situation I'm in right now
Thank you for these profound insights! 🙏 And I really love your approach to the chasing matter. This POV is so overdue and really should be spreaded in order to inhibit this toxic dating culture which gets provided everywhere! You should make some extra videos on this topic :)
THANK YOU! I never thought that love should be about chasing & playing games.
Falling in love seems so rare and complex that I may never meet all these requirements. I'm happy on my own with friends and family.
Yes! Early sex ruins the relationship or dating process
I so agree with everything you have said I never developed anything for anyone if I slept with them it happened wen I didn’t sleep with someone ( I deliberately did that and feelings developed from it )
That’s the point, people are just sleeping around and sex should be sacred only for our life spouse, this way you love this person truly
This is by far one of the coolest videos I've seen on this topic. Incredibly insightful, very well explained. Thank you.
Marriages and relationships should not be based on love because love is a transient and unreasonable feeling. They should be based on a sense of duty and respect.
No
You're the one confusing love with lust. Love is all about time, effort, care & respect about e/o. Also, your willingness to be with that person.
Completely agree!
You should marry me
No, having a job should be based on a sense of duty and respect.
I always thought that when a man chases a woman he tries to win her over? Hence more dates in the beginning, laughs, sexual attraction etc. I think a man should always chase his woman and vice versa, almost like neverending dating 😉 I suppose the notion of "chasing" can be subjective according to some of these comments, but this is generally what I think real love is; a mutual, deep connection between two people who never stop trying to make each other happy. They're chasing after that happiness ❤
Like I told someone else here, chasing and pursuing are two different things. Pursuing is a man showing consistent interest in you, as long as he sees you're engaged. Chasing is a man heavily trying to convince you to like him back.
Love being felt can’t be explained, because it’s different for everyone. No 2 people experience love the same way and gender has nothing to do with it. Past experiences, upbringings and genuineness makes these emotions strong and real.
There is an old saying never truer. Men fall in love with their eyes, women fall in love with their ears. In other words, men fall in love with what they see, and women fall in love with what they hear.
Gross.
True, but now is kinda different
Women are waking up more each day, and they fall in love with what they see (no just looks💀, but actions, achievements, etc)
There are many happy love stories and there is never one that is exactly the same as another. Enjoy your love journey, your way
I like Your way of thinking :)) the older i get i feel less attracted to stranger - it takes time to build intimacy
So far I fell in love twice and It has been attachment only in both case. Pray for me I love her.
Lust is sex and love is feeling
Which one do you want it
Its clear and simple
Love is a principle.. its consistent, its takes effort and emotional intelligence...
I like what you said that you don’t sleep with women who aren’t in a relationship with you.. ❤ I agree 💯
I love your calm tone
thank you for sharing this!
Wow… the info you provide here SO needs to become common knowledge!! Very helpful! 🙏🏻
That's very sweet of you. Thank you.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
There's a saying that goes like this ... " Easy to get , easy to forget " , then it's true . 👍👍👍llee
or "you lose them how you catch them."
Ismael is giving great insight here, pay attention to what he is saying. A lasting relationship needs ground work first..then when the time comes and you go to the next step, it will have true meaning. Intimacy is important, but it's not the foundation of a committed relationship, "love" is.
Marry for 30 something years Am obsessed with him He feels the same🥰
relationship goals 💯
I thought this was gonna be some annoying andrew tate kind of tiktok vid, but im so glad i clicked! Rlly good vid, enjoyed itt
Hello. Never watched you on UA-cam. I follow you by Instagram. Thanks for those tips. Definitely men and women have different energies. I love my femenine energy and you are right; men doesn't fall in love by sex.❤
Men in love are the purest thing💕
I’m meeting you for the first time and I love you already
Thanks for this
That's very sweet of you. Thank you.
4:10 in that case, I'm glad that one particular guy didn't chase me!
so mens love is always temporary? damn no wonder ive been thinking they are a waste of time
😂😂😂😂
That's why not last long
Yep. And actually they don't fall in love
X2 😎
True. I'd rather die a virgin than marry a man that's going to want to have segs with other women anyway and is actually "tolerating" me. No thank you.
You are so on point and honest too about your own experiences 👍
What if I AM hard to get.. that’s not manipulative of me, that’s just me having standards
If you want a loyal man you need to test his patience and loyalty and accept That you will be a long time alone because That is very rare breed but still exist. Remeber when someone is interested in you even if you said to them they are ugly they still will be atracted to you even if you hurt their feelings
@@hisato1998 I’d rather wait and risk being alone than settle for less than I deserve 👸🏼
@@LOZlaura i said it is Worth to wait for your dream man than to settle with lower standard guy
All women are hard to get for the men they're not attracted to. They make endless requirements and make the candidates jump trough hoops just to be with them.
With the man that makes your pussy wet however, you are ready to spread your legs right away regardless of consequences.