In story 1, the guy shouldn't have agreed to see his ex. The new wife will use this as an excuse to cheat in the future. These are the games women play.
No I would tell her that she needs to spend it with her ap. you didn't want me forsaken all others now you can have all others or anyone other than me.
I know he was being pressured by family (some type of sister who was friends with the ex) but I just do not see this as a good thing for OP to do. Brothers and sisters need to never pressure a sibling to have contact with an ex after a break up caused by the ex's behavior. Even if the ex is now dying. Do not try to force a relationship with an ex on a sibling for any reason. They are an ex for a reason. Please do not hurt your sibling this way. They were already hurt once. Do not hurt them again. Do not overstep boundaries.
First story. I wouldn't do anything that would exclude my current wife. Sister and ex be damned. The Wife comes first and both the ex and sister should understand.
Story 1: the ex would definitely make a move on the guy. One last attempt for something. If she wanted someone in her life during her final days she should have not cheated.
People make stupid decisions that they have come to regret. No one is perfect and she had clearly shown change and loyalty after remaining chaste up until her last days. I dare say not many people could have done what she had done. A proper slut would have moved on and jumped on another dick. This woman was purely remorseful and repentant.
Act like a husband to the EX? Ok, here's what we'll do. I'll show up one day and you'll go have another affair! Bingo! Just like we were married! And as a bonus, my real wife is hurt along with our 2 kids. That's a hard pass!
Well really if he feels that way then he probably shouldn’t even give her a second chance. If he really thinks she might do it again he should just put a total end to things but if he wants to give her a chance dating again it doesn’t mean he owes her marriage. He gave that to her once and she crapped on it. She’ll have to live with being just a girlfriend or partner or she can choose to move on as well.
For the first story I'll give you an advice...Visit your dying ex wife with your wife and your kids ...And say goodbye to her ...That's all you can do to her man...If you go back to be around her in her last days you will break ...it will jeopardize your marriage..And for the second one..SAY FU TO BOTH PARENTS..It's not their business to interfere in your personal life..A No should be a NO..
Nah it kind of seems entitled on the exes end. She really had the audacity to cheat for a month then keep the house we both paid for while I moved out. I wouldn't even be mad but I forsure wouldn't owe her anything and might meet for an hour cus I'm not going have much to say and she forsake would not meet my kids that's weird asf it kind of seem like she wants to pretend there all a family tbh
@@solodolo869 I think the sister that remained friends with the ex had a big part in trying to get them to reconcile. I'd go NC with the sister, despite how close I am with mine, and mine knows in her core not to attempt to cross that boundary. I heard this story a while back and my position hasn't changed. This won't grant closure for op, only the ex and the sis gets to remember how she "helped." Op can only lose, and though I know about the update, op chose the wrong thread to pull.
@@HH-ru4bj It's a very complicated situation though. They have been friends since 10 years old. They can't forget those 20-30 years just like they can't forget the cheating. He didn't have any obligation to see her but he did and on his terms. She's essentially like family at this point, a cousin or something like that. The fact that he did this shows that he is a great and compassionate person.
@@tchoythao5579 but at who's cost? He's married with a child so he has far more important obligations to his own life than an historical figure. The ex crossed many boundaries intruding into several other peoples lives, choosing one thread of reality over another wouldn't make him necessarily a good or bad person. All I can say is if it were me in a similar situation, my own family has priority over everything, including some dying woman I used to know.
@@HH-ru4bj Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it is right. I'm saying it is a situation that doesn't have a clean answer. A practically family member is dying. A partner's trust is being tested. It's easy thinking about it from the outside, but being in with all those range of emotions that are far from just romance, is difficult to know what is right and wrong. Morality and doing what is right isn't always good for you, but are compelled to do so because of our subjective beliefs.
Story #1:NTA. Dying does not absolve you of your wrongdoings. The ex only realized she lose "the one" when he was eternally off the table. _She had the man._ And she lost him due to her own infidelity. She has no one to blame but herself.
But she is blaming herself? She literally stated that she has never forgiven herself and she herself admitted to the affair because she couldn't handle the guilt. All these comments with zero empathy just hurt. Op has no obligation to forgive, but the ex was not a horrible person. She made a stupid choice, regretted it and never harassed or blamed anyone but herself and is already paying the price. I believe she deserves forgiveness. If OP himself forgave, who are we to disagree.
@@learhe4908 cheating on her spouse does indeed make her a horrible person. Trying to get back with him when he is dating someone else and he has made his position clear makes her a horrible person. Dropping her loser feelings on him at his wedding makes her a horrible person. And going back on her word to never reach out again makes her a horrible person. She is trash and deserves no peace.
@@learhe4908 she went out her way to cheat in the first place. She went out her way to make moves on him when he clearly moved on, she was the one who decided to be an ass hole at his wedding night and breaking her word makes her horrible. You expect us to have Empathy for her? She eas the reason all of that happened. No one else.
she kept all the wedding photos up and pictures bid them together after all those years. Or she put them up when he said he was coming over. I guess she paid the price and she never got over what she did to him and now she will die never really getting over it. damn that's some deep sad sh$t in my opinion
@@DuelTubeChannel don't you think him leaving her, she spending the rest of her life alone, and the fact that she is terminally ill now is consequence enough ? Lmao what more do you want 🤣😂
@@Anten-Isy i want to talk general and see the bigger pictures. Sure, being terminaly ill Is some big karma, but it happened to her, not to any Cheater. Even loneliness.
@Chuck R Mine either. 1) My sister has too much respect for me for that. 2) My sister knows I don't play that shit. If you betray me I'm gone forever. I forgive but I never give second chances.
Story 1: Damn. I can't believe the first wife loved the guy so much she was never able to move on but still ended up ruining it. Guess she only realized what she had when she lost it.
@@donalddavis7423 she felt remorse,she literally confessed to him,yes she’s a/was a horrible person for cheating,,but I could tell she loved him,not moving to another house,keeping the wedding pics,it tells she was really remorse and loved him
@@carlosperez-dd5lf If you truly love someone, you wouldn't cheat on them. Plain and simple. What do you even gain from an affair when you're married to someone you love? Nothing. She ruined her marriage for nothing.
@@kollide3140plenty of people. Being lovestruck is a feeling that doesn’t last. After the honeymoon phase love isn’t an emotion but a rational commitment. But even people who have made the rational commitment are subject to desires and emotions. Every single person is selfish like that. What matters is how much you can control your emotions and stick to your commitments and values
To the first story, I wouldn't have went to see my ex wife. It has been over 10 years and I have moved on. I owe her nothing and am not obligated to see her one last time before she dies. Everything she did was by her own free will and now she must face the consequences. Too much at stakes for my current marriage. I don't want anything to get in between us and ruin our marriage. I have a very strict personality and highly believe in consequences for one's own actions. You reap what you sow is how I feel.
Visiting her with his daughter might actually be very beneficial to her future; its such a sad situation, and to witness the greatest example of a ruined life-a dying woman alone in their old house with all the photos still in their place....would do more to prevent his daughter from making the same mistake than anything I could ever come up with. Any children of mine will know their inheritance would be gone and theyd possibly be disowned if they ever cheated on anyone, but this would still sit deeper- to me at least. For his daughter, it would firmly associate the mere thought of infidelity with one of the saddest things she will have ever seen...
First story - Your ex is your ex for reasons she caused. Visit her and say goodbye, but nothing more. She probably wants to ask forgiveness to settle that account. Give her that chance then walk. Go with your wife or your sister. Do NOT go alone.
I must say the ex paid the price dearly for her cheating and dying is the ultimate punishment.. a little memory before she go was a good idea after all her sufferings and loneliness. Hope she find peace thereafter.
Don't do anything that upsets your current wife . Your ex made some selfish choices and must live with the consequences. You don't owe her anything regardless of her illness
Seen this happen too many times. Girls that sleep around in their teens then run to the church when they start feeling dirty. People always take it as an opportunity to dunk on Christianity.
@@uncledoctor6920 right lol and as a Christian it’s really annoying the Bible even says a lot of people are gonna be fake the church freaking killed Jesus don’t lump all Christian with the one who messed u over lol.
First OP-Just don't. I'm going to sound heartless by saying this, but she won't be there to bear the fallout if such thing happens in your life. What's going to happen if someone wants to reminisce the 'good' times and 'what ifs' a few years down the line? While the wife says she okay, she likely said it out of pity for the dying ex-wife rather than actually being okay with it. This would brought upon resentment in the future. You have a great life right now and as heartless as it sounds, you do not owe your ex-wife anything. Seriously? You wanted to bring your kids around the woman who still have old wedding photos of you and he hanging all over your former house? Are you insane? How is this okay? I get it if she had it in an album because that is a memory, but do not bloody bring your kids to the house, meet her outside. This is stupid on so many levels-I just can't. Why does she even deserves closure? OP better fucking worship the ground his wife walks on after this. That woman is a fucking Saint for putting up with the whole mess.
1st story: I am glad OP talked with his wife before doing any other move. I hope the ex had some closure and OP and his wife are the real MVPs. 2nd story: OP, you and your partners are the ones getting married, not your parents. You don't want to marry? Then don't do it. Your parents, her parents nor her can't force you to marry.
There is a big difference between cheating and confessing and cheating and being caught. In neither case is it anyway excusable but the first betrays genuine remorse. The ex did something wrong, she knew it and regretted it. I hate cheaters, it hurts and breaks people. But at the very least she had the honesty and strength of character to come clean and not attempt to hide it. Which means she had some amount of decency. Doing this for her... I'm not sure I could do it, but I respect the dude and his current wife for making it work.
Its tragic because the ex seems to be penitent, but just leave it a tragedy and find peace in that. The furthest I would go would be to voice my forgiveness to her before she passed.
This is the one time I’ve ever felt sorry for a cheater. Most are full of regret and deserve to be. As someone who cheated on the person they love. It truly was the greatest impulsive mistake of my life and I believe had my wife not taken me back I would’ve been suicidal and would’ve never loved again.
if he actually goes through with it his real wife will be wondering all throughout the rest of their marriage in the back of her mind if anything really did or didn't happen. Avoid the situation don't do it
Yes. What benefit is there for OP, his wife, or his children? What risks? If OP's wife, said... "You know, there's this ex of mine whose been obsessed with me for 20+ years. He's dying and wants me to pretend to be his wife for a few weeks. Can you take care of my kids for a few weeks while we live in the same house?"
I am in my 60s. I have noticed that men who have been cheated on by their ex wife don't/rarely ever get married again. They are so hurt by the first wife cheating that they cannot get over the pain and remarry. Cheating on a husband is so psychologically painful for them (for the man). This is to let women know not to push it with such a man. They have emotional scars. I know one man who did remarry but then his second wife divorced him and he ended up committing suicide. Both ex wives were at the funeral and sad, but they did this to him...they hurt him so much.
why the hell would you remarry her she cheated then felt bad after and the balls on her to get pissed that you don't want to get remarried do cheater delete what they do after they do it
If you let cheaters going away with their infidelity, they wont pay the consequences for their action. So no consequences equal a free pass for pretending
That first one is hard. It's not like she was super diabolical about her affair and she even was the one to out herself to him after a month of it. I can understand why it's hard for him.
Story 1, you handled that so well. I'm glad you were able to visit your ex, considering she was a life long friend, and to keep your wife first and informed. You are a kind and loving man
He isnt a single man. He should have taken his wife with him. Now he's going back with his kids to meet her without his wife again. I guess you can say, the guy is being kind to his ex wife, sister, himself, etc. But not kind to his current wife. I guess her feelings don't matter:-(. I guess as long as everyone else is have a great time thats all that matters right?! smh
@@tinamoul I know. It’s not like she asked him to be romantic with her, she just missed him. Of course she never should have cheated though, and she paid the price for that and is now dying without ever fully recovering from it. Honestly sad.
I'm quite happy with the way it ended. You saw her not as your ex, but as your childhood friend. I could not imagine a more admirable outcome. I'm glad you got to say goodbye to your friend.
It's really music to my ears when a cheater suffers like this, its like their hell was served earlier while they are still living here on Earth. Amazing
God this is a heart breaking storie. Tons of love one destroyed but never let go. Made me cry. I do not cry easy. So sad. Everyone was real grown and mature in this
1st Story: No one should ever compromise what they have for what they had. The dying ex is in the past. The wife is what's happening now. It isn't you job to give a cheating ex closure in life. That is something she has to do for herself being that her actions got her into that position. This is in the realm of an unreasonable expectation. 2nd Story: Just like when you were married, you'll never know when she'll cheat again. You divorced for a reason. What's really changed. Don't go back.
OP, you did it right. Your ex is dying, and you was generous in spite of the past, to make her last days peaceful. On the last day, please be there your wife & kids to send her on her homegoing. Be the one to whisper in her ear," It's ok, you can go,, now". God bless you, sir.
She cheated on him. She has no right to expect him to "play hubby" for her just because she's dying. Her loneliness is her own fault, both because she never moved on and because she destroyed what turned out to be the best relationship she ever had. She deserves NOTHING from him and it's sick of her and his sister to ask such things. How insulting to his REAL wife that they'd try to convince him? His ex lost the supposed love of her life because she only thought about her own pleasure; even on her deathbed she's doing the SAME DANG THING.
She cheated on her husband. Ultimately, the price she had to pay was dying alone knowing what family she could have have with him. It's a terrible way to go.
To be honest I would always question if my husband was telling the truth on what happened the day he visited his ex wife with his sister. I would question if the sister is covering for him. Ik it sounds silly but in the back of my head I'll be questioning so many things that it would eat me away. Op should have dropped by for a few minutes (1 hour best) not a whole afternoon tbh nd never bring over the kids. The ex might pretend that they are hers. Idk it sounds to much of a headache and op should have declined in the first place on everything.
Yup. Its a hassle. Why bother. Current wife is being understanding. But not smart enough....neither of them are smart enough. Perhaps to ease his conscience, he should visit.....with his wife n kids. Tell the kids she was a close friend. Say good bye and cut all contact. Later, sister would inform of ex death and ask for him to visit. Dont bother visiting. Give excuse.
The ex wife cheated and now she is dying so she wants to play house with her ex nope! Let her call the co worker who she cheated and ruined her marriage! I wouldn’t visit her!
He is definitely under no obligation to, but seeing his ex a couple of times during her final days would be the merciful thing to do. Although, I'm a softy and in general, and I don't like to see people suffer. The OP should take long as wife when he sees his ex - just a reminder to her that he has moved on and his love rests with someone else now.
What a sad first story. I think the OP went about it the right way. Second Story: She's lucky he gave her a second chance. I agree with the stance that the parents need to butt out, and that she needs to stop pressuring him. Marriage is not as important as society makes it out to be. My mom and my stepdad have been together for 17 years, they never married each other, I don't think they ever will marry each other, but I can see them being together until the day they die. Maybe the wife should consider focusing on their relationship and not on whether or not they get the government involved.
Okay I'm 4 minutes in an if OP does what the ex wants it's not gonna end well. She might be dying but she's been creepily obsessed with OP since the break up and now she's using her condition to get what she wants. No. No. No. No. All the alarm bells are blaring. Cheaters don't have morals. No way in hell she isn't gonna try being inappropriate with him. He's gonna go play house with her and she's gonna want intimacy because "she's dying after all and yes it wasn't what we agreed but I'm dyingggg. Don't you wanna give me peace of mind?" The only peace of mind she can give herself is by letting him go and accept that it wasn't meant to be. This entire arrangement is unhealthy for everybody involved. If I was in OP or OP's wife's shoes this would be a massive no. Not gonna play pretend with a mentally disturbed sick woman and risk the stability in my relationship for someone who cheated on me. No fucking way.
Then poor easy to manipulate OP is going to bring HIS kids to see her so it will be just them and she can pretend they’re a family. Meanwhile current wife is sitting at home looking the fool.
the first girl really did seem like she was sorry for what she did, not dating after anymore not even the one she was having an affair with, admitting to the dude, I've seen many girls cheating but not admitting to it so it feels a bit different hearing someone actually regret what she did
First guy handled perfectly and I agree 100%. He wasn’t spiteful and set up boundaries with ex and discussed it all with his wife, who was very understanding.
Damn that’s hard, seriously if she really didn’t have s with anyone else all that time then I’d be more than willing to forgive her. Unlike every other cheater she had the balls to come out and still regretted it years later
If I was his wife I would be ok with going for coffee somewhere public. I do not want him to regret not seeing her once. The fact that she wanted to pretend to be married knowing he is married to someone else, said I love you to him, and has wedding photos up. I would not trust her at all. I would not let this women see my kids to possibly add into the idea of a happy family.
I'm sincerely thankful this guy (with the blessing of a truly great wife) decided to see her. I don't carry a torch for any ex GFs or my ex-wife, but I couldn't imagine hating somebody enough (especially someone that still loved me) to not try to be there for them at the end if they asked. I do wonder how things would have turned out had she not told him. I would never say I wouldn't want to know if my SO cheated on me, but sometimes when you see some of these stories it makes you wonder if they eventually confess for themselves or for the other person. Of course it's great that he was able to move on and have a family, but it is sad that she was never able to move on, and insisted on punishing herself until the end for her mistake. 😥
He did the right thing, he talked to his wife after his sister witch should have been done in the first place. With is sister being there like three old friend from the past. Humanity goes a long way and at this point in her life that was the best he could have done. Bringing joy to someone is the best way to make the world a better place. She is dying there not to much more harm she can do!
Thing is with cheating, you either regret doing it or you regret getting caught. The latter can rarely ever be worked out, in fact no self respecting person should forgive a cheater they caught. But the former, if she/he admitted to it, thats a difficult one, there is genuinely regret there. Also the fact that she never had any proper relationships after him proves that she probably did always love him. Like really truly love him. I would say that it's too late for any sort of relationship she wants before she dies, but i also think that he probably should have tried harder to forgive her. It's not ideal that she cheated but she was clearly sorry for it. People make mistakes, i know many other make friends male friends who have made similar mistakes.
i never thought i could respect a cheater soo much i had a cheating ex and it was horrific but that lady actually made me happy unlike my ex she knowed her mistakes and confessed she stuck to her words and loved him that much and i want to believe her but i dont blame the husband for just leaving her
I feel like the 1st one should've been forgiven. They've been together since 14 and haven't even experienced anyone else and came out and was honest about it.
On the first post, if my cheating first wife wanted me to come visit in her last days, regardless of whether I was remarried or not, the answer would be "How 'bout, NO!". On the second one, I wouldn't not touch my X with someone else's barge pole. A dog returns to it's vomit. Don't be a dog.
"Please don't roast my ex too much. She made a mistake and paid the price. But, It doesn't mean she's an evil person." Yes, it does. Cheaters are selfish. They only care about themselves and what they want. They don't care how many people they hurt or how bad. In my book, that's the definition of evil.
She doesn’t sound evil. She just sounds like she has bad boundaries and was tragically unable to get over this relationship which I kind of get considering how far back it went, but seriously, she would have had a much happier life if she’d moved on like her ex husband
The first story is just awful to be honest. He has no business bringing his kids to meet this woman who cheated on him, that is weird and subjecting your kids to an odd experience. The fact that she left the wedding photos up and whispered to him on his way out is proof she wants to make a move on him before she dies. OP is going to regret this hardcore if she continues to indulge this selfish request from his ex-wife.
Story 1: I think seeing her is a good thing. Instead of because she was his ex wife it should be because they are childhood friends. Yeah she broke his heart and that's fucked up however as a friend the least you can do is be there in thier final moments for any last bit of closure and peace
should have cut the sister loose too when she remained bestie with that cheater😠 and she has the audacity to ask the brother to pretend to be the husband of the cheater in her last days😡
She lost that right when she cheated, and dying doesn't give a pass for a retry. Helping out and providing support is one thing but playing house is a big no no.
Story 1 Yes, she is an evil person. And please ask the kids if they want to see her. The kids should know why they are going to see a dying woman and who she is to the OP.
Story 1: UPDATE 7:34
UPDATE: My (40m) ex wife (40f) wants me to be with her in her last days
Story 2: 11:33
My ex wife wants us to get married again.
In story 1, the guy shouldn't have agreed to see his ex. The new wife will use this as an excuse to cheat in the future. These are the games women play.
Wow
@@hydrationrequirement9762 oh shut up
@@tinamoul no
@@hydrationrequirement9762 Should've bought the wife, make her jealous, and rub it in the ex =p.
I'd tell my ex she can pretend we're still married and pretend I'm there also.
Yup. The human imagination is a powerful thing. She can use that to her heart’s content.
Lmfao
No I would tell her that she needs to spend it with her ap. you didn't want me forsaken all others now you can have all others or anyone other than me.
I know he was being pressured by family (some type of sister who was friends with the ex) but I just do not see this as a good thing for OP to do.
Brothers and sisters need to never pressure a sibling to have contact with an ex after a break up caused by the ex's behavior. Even if the ex is now dying. Do not try to force a relationship with an ex on a sibling for any reason. They are an ex for a reason. Please do not hurt your sibling this way. They were already hurt once. Do not hurt them again. Do not overstep boundaries.
Ahaha
Last story. When she brings up marriage, the guy should say "I don't feel like getting married. Last time I got married, my wife cheated on me"
Not even. You affaired on me.
😂😂😂
Your sister still friends knowing she cheated on you, says alot about her aswell.
Yup.
Exactly? Hurt someone I love? You and I are parting ways. Have a nice life, write if you find work...
They were childhood friends
@@cynthiaholland13 and? Blood is thicker than water. Aldo Screw pretending to be the husband. A Lot of people die everyday.
@@batpoolzilla3200 i disagree blood is not thicker than water
First story. I wouldn't do anything that would exclude my current wife. Sister and ex be damned. The Wife comes first and both the ex and sister should understand.
Story 1: the ex would definitely make a move on the guy. One last attempt for something. If she wanted someone in her life during her final days she should have not cheated.
Exactly, now She had to pay the price for her cheating
I think the update was that he gave in and it went as planned.
People make stupid decisions that they have come to regret. No one is perfect and she had clearly shown change and loyalty after remaining chaste up until her last days. I dare say not many people could have done what she had done. A proper slut would have moved on and jumped on another dick. This woman was purely remorseful and repentant.
Act like a husband to the EX? Ok, here's what we'll do. I'll show up one day and you'll go have another affair! Bingo! Just like we were married! And as a bonus, my real wife is hurt along with our 2 kids. That's a hard pass!
Absolutely agree with you.
Exactly. Don't disrespect your family for your ex.
funniest part to me is she still has the house she took from him in the marriage xD
ex is an ex for a reason. OP can never trust her then why remarry? Do they really want to spent every minute snooping the partners have been upto?
Everytime an EX want to comeback. You should always remember why you broke up in the first place.
Well really if he feels that way then he probably shouldn’t even give her a second chance. If he really thinks she might do it again he should just put a total end to things but if he wants to give her a chance dating again it doesn’t mean he owes her marriage. He gave that to her once and she crapped on it. She’ll have to live with being just a girlfriend or partner or she can choose to move on as well.
Listen before commenting
@@bonnevillebagger9147exactly
For the first story I'll give you an advice...Visit your dying ex wife with your wife and your kids ...And say goodbye to her ...That's all you can do to her man...If you go back to be around her in her last days you will break ...it will jeopardize your marriage..And for the second one..SAY FU TO BOTH PARENTS..It's not their business to interfere in your personal life..A No should be a NO..
Nah it kind of seems entitled on the exes end. She really had the audacity to cheat for a month then keep the house we both paid for while I moved out. I wouldn't even be mad but I forsure wouldn't owe her anything and might meet for an hour cus I'm not going have much to say and she forsake would not meet my kids that's weird asf it kind of seem like she wants to pretend there all a family tbh
@@solodolo869 I think the sister that remained friends with the ex had a big part in trying to get them to reconcile.
I'd go NC with the sister, despite how close I am with mine, and mine knows in her core not to attempt to cross that boundary.
I heard this story a while back and my position hasn't changed. This won't grant closure for op, only the ex and the sis gets to remember how she "helped." Op can only lose, and though I know about the update, op chose the wrong thread to pull.
@@HH-ru4bj It's a very complicated situation though. They have been friends since 10 years old. They can't forget those 20-30 years just like they can't forget the cheating. He didn't have any obligation to see her but he did and on his terms. She's essentially like family at this point, a cousin or something like that. The fact that he did this shows that he is a great and compassionate person.
@@tchoythao5579 but at who's cost? He's married with a child so he has far more important obligations to his own life than an historical figure. The ex crossed many boundaries intruding into several other peoples lives, choosing one thread of reality over another wouldn't make him necessarily a good or bad person. All I can say is if it were me in a similar situation, my own family has priority over everything, including some dying woman I used to know.
@@HH-ru4bj Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it is right. I'm saying it is a situation that doesn't have a clean answer. A practically family member is dying. A partner's trust is being tested. It's easy thinking about it from the outside, but being in with all those range of emotions that are far from just romance, is difficult to know what is right and wrong. Morality and doing what is right isn't always good for you, but are compelled to do so because of our subjective beliefs.
Story #1:NTA. Dying does not absolve you of your wrongdoings. The ex only realized she lose "the one" when he was eternally off the table. _She had the man._ And she lost him due to her own infidelity. She has no one to blame but herself.
But she is blaming herself? She literally stated that she has never forgiven herself and she herself admitted to the affair because she couldn't handle the guilt. All these comments with zero empathy just hurt. Op has no obligation to forgive, but the ex was not a horrible person. She made a stupid choice, regretted it and never harassed or blamed anyone but herself and is already paying the price. I believe she deserves forgiveness. If OP himself forgave, who are we to disagree.
@@learhe4908 i couldn't have said it better
@@learhe4908 cheating on her spouse does indeed make her a horrible person. Trying to get back with him when he is dating someone else and he has made his position clear makes her a horrible person. Dropping her loser feelings on him at his wedding makes her a horrible person. And going back on her word to never reach out again makes her a horrible person. She is trash and deserves no peace.
@@learhe4908 she went out her way to cheat in the first place. She went out her way to make moves on him when he clearly moved on, she was the one who decided to be an ass hole at his wedding night and breaking her word makes her horrible. You expect us to have Empathy for her? She eas the reason all of that happened. No one else.
@@donalddavis7423 Lmao damn, no mercy on these females.
Say goodbye to her with your wife present.
Damn Daniel
Or... Let the cheating Wife alone
she kept all the wedding photos up and pictures bid them together after all those years. Or she put them up when he said he was coming over.
I guess she paid the price and she never got over what she did to him
and now she will die never really getting over it. damn that's some deep sad sh$t in my opinion
She only reap what She sow. Why do something stupid you fear the consequences?
I'd check the frames for dust lol
@@Anten-Isy i did. And when consequences came, i also pay them
@@DuelTubeChannel don't you think him leaving her, she spending the rest of her life alone, and the fact that she is terminally ill now is consequence enough ? Lmao what more do you want 🤣😂
@@Anten-Isy i want to talk general and see the bigger pictures.
Sure, being terminaly ill Is some big karma, but it happened to her, not to any Cheater. Even loneliness.
New wife will ALWAYS feel cheated on after the ex dies, assuming she really is sick, it may just be a plan to get the guy back in her life
I thought It too. She May seem ok, but op seem too much a nice guy. The new Wide would probably use these in the future for punish him
I can't believe this dude even had to ask this. He should've said "Fuck no." And refused to hear another word on the subject.
@Chuck R Mine either. 1) My sister has too much respect for me for that. 2) My sister knows I don't play that shit. If you betray me I'm gone forever. I forgive but I never give second chances.
Story 1:
Damn. I can't believe the first wife loved the guy so much she was never able to move on but still ended up ruining it. Guess she only realized what she had when she lost it.
She didn't love him, she was obsessed with what she could no longer have.
@@donalddavis7423 she felt remorse,she literally confessed to him,yes she’s a/was a horrible person for cheating,,but I could tell she loved him,not moving to another house,keeping the wedding pics,it tells she was really remorse and loved him
who tf loves someone then cheat on them.
@@carlosperez-dd5lf If you truly love someone, you wouldn't cheat on them. Plain and simple. What do you even gain from an affair when you're married to someone you love? Nothing. She ruined her marriage for nothing.
@@kollide3140plenty of people. Being lovestruck is a feeling that doesn’t last. After the honeymoon phase love isn’t an emotion but a rational commitment. But even people who have made the rational commitment are subject to desires and emotions. Every single person is selfish like that. What matters is how much you can control your emotions and stick to your commitments and values
To the first story, I wouldn't have went to see my ex wife. It has been over 10 years and I have moved on. I owe her nothing and am not obligated to see her one last time before she dies. Everything she did was by her own free will and now she must face the consequences. Too much at stakes for my current marriage. I don't want anything to get in between us and ruin our marriage. I have a very strict personality and highly believe in consequences for one's own actions. You reap what you sow is how I feel.
Visiting her with his daughter might actually be very beneficial to her future; its such a sad situation, and to witness the greatest example of a ruined life-a dying woman alone in their old house with all the photos still in their place....would do more to prevent his daughter from making the same mistake than anything I could ever come up with. Any children of mine will know their inheritance would be gone and theyd possibly be disowned if they ever cheated on anyone, but this would still sit deeper- to me at least.
For his daughter, it would firmly associate the mere thought of infidelity with one of the saddest things she will have ever seen...
Bravo .
Part of me would want to ask "So, can I inherit the house?"
His only response should be "Oh. Well that sucks. Condolences."
First story - Your ex is your ex for reasons she caused. Visit her and say goodbye, but nothing more. She probably wants to ask forgiveness to settle that account. Give her that chance then walk. Go with your wife or your sister. Do NOT go alone.
These two
"I cheated, pls, FORGIVE"
This is unimaginably sad; I cannot offer advice here... I wish you well however you choose...
Yes, I was confused too. Probably I have a weak heart something 😂
I have a heart of stone. Let the cheating ex rot.
@@filmsbyanshuman me too!
Story 1: your wife is a helluva woman! Good on her! Cherish that woman
I must say the ex paid the price dearly for her cheating and dying is the ultimate punishment.. a little memory before she go was a good idea after all her sufferings and loneliness. Hope she find peace thereafter.
Why? She betray him. Why should he bother?
Don't do anything that upsets your current wife . Your ex made some selfish choices and must live with the consequences. You don't owe her anything regardless of her illness
1st OP
Don't burn your current relationship for a DEAD one. Yes, your relationship with your ex as wife and husband is DEAD.
Second story. “She joined a Church. Then we started sleeping with each other No Strings Attached”. LOL. I needed that ha ha
Get thee to a nunnery!
Prithee have confused Nunnery for a Brothel!
Lol
Seen this happen too many times. Girls that sleep around in their teens then run to the church when they start feeling dirty. People always take it as an opportunity to dunk on Christianity.
@@uncledoctor6920 right lol and as a Christian it’s really annoying the Bible even says a lot of people are gonna be fake the church freaking killed Jesus don’t lump all Christian with the one who messed u over lol.
@@uncledoctor6920 The Bible says to come at your lowest. Just be honest about it
This first story was flawlessly handled , condolences ❤️
First OP-Just don't. I'm going to sound heartless by saying this, but she won't be there to bear the fallout if such thing happens in your life. What's going to happen if someone wants to reminisce the 'good' times and 'what ifs' a few years down the line? While the wife says she okay, she likely said it out of pity for the dying ex-wife rather than actually being okay with it. This would brought upon resentment in the future. You have a great life right now and as heartless as it sounds, you do not owe your ex-wife anything.
Seriously? You wanted to bring your kids around the woman who still have old wedding photos of you and he hanging all over your former house? Are you insane? How is this okay? I get it if she had it in an album because that is a memory, but do not bloody bring your kids to the house, meet her outside. This is stupid on so many levels-I just can't. Why does she even deserves closure? OP better fucking worship the ground his wife walks on after this. That woman is a fucking Saint for putting up with the whole mess.
Normally I don't have a lot of sympathy for cheaters, but she literally abandoned life because of her cheating. That's so sad.
1st story: I am glad OP talked with his wife before doing any other move. I hope the ex had some closure and OP and his wife are the real MVPs.
2nd story: OP, you and your partners are the ones getting married, not your parents. You don't want to marry? Then don't do it. Your parents, her parents nor her can't force you to marry.
There is a big difference between cheating and confessing and cheating and being caught.
In neither case is it anyway excusable but the first betrays genuine remorse.
The ex did something wrong, she knew it and regretted it.
I hate cheaters, it hurts and breaks people. But at the very least she had the honesty and strength of character to come clean and not attempt to hide it.
Which means she had some amount of decency.
Doing this for her... I'm not sure I could do it, but I respect the dude and his current wife for making it work.
Its tragic because the ex seems to be penitent, but just leave it a tragedy and find peace in that. The furthest I would go would be to voice my forgiveness to her before she passed.
This is the one time I’ve ever felt sorry for a cheater. Most are full of regret and deserve to be. As someone who cheated on the person they love. It truly was the greatest impulsive mistake of my life and I believe had my wife not taken me back I would’ve been suicidal and would’ve never loved again.
if he actually goes through with it his real wife will be wondering all throughout the rest of their marriage in the back of her mind if anything really did or didn't happen. Avoid the situation don't do it
Yes. What benefit is there for OP, his wife, or his children? What risks? If OP's wife, said... "You know, there's this ex of mine whose been obsessed with me for 20+ years. He's dying and wants me to pretend to be his wife for a few weeks. Can you take care of my kids for a few weeks while we live in the same house?"
I am in my 60s. I have noticed that men who have been cheated on by their ex wife don't/rarely ever get married again.
They are so hurt by the first wife cheating that they cannot get over the pain and remarry. Cheating on a husband is so psychologically painful for them (for the man). This is to let women know not to push it with such a man. They have emotional scars.
I know one man who did remarry but then his second wife divorced him and he ended up committing suicide. Both ex wives were at the funeral and sad, but they did this to him...they hurt him so much.
You've made a commitment to a new wife, you must honor that.
Something I heard that applies to stories like this. “The opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference”.
why the hell would you remarry her she cheated then felt bad after
and the balls on her to get pissed that you don't want to get remarried do cheater delete what they do after they do it
If you let cheaters going away with their infidelity, they wont pay the consequences for their action. So no consequences equal a free pass for pretending
The First story was bittersweet ❤
Look women can have empathy, for other women.....
Your wife is a saint treat her with the utmost love support and everything this woman is truly an angel 😇
That first one is hard. It's not like she was super diabolical about her affair and she even was the one to out herself to him after a month of it. I can understand why it's hard for him.
Story 1, you handled that so well. I'm glad you were able to visit your ex, considering she was a life long friend, and to keep your wife first and informed. You are a kind and loving man
He isnt a single man.
He should have taken his wife with him.
Now he's going back with his kids to meet her without his wife again.
I guess you can say, the guy is being kind to his ex wife, sister, himself, etc. But not kind to his current wife.
I guess her feelings don't matter:-(. I guess as long as everyone else is have a great time thats all that matters right?! smh
Incredibly sad first story. The ex-wife is dying because she can't cope with losing her man because of her adultery.
Wife: I had a month-long affair, sorry, but stay with me PLEEEEEEEEEEASE!
Now-ex-wife: please be my affair partner while I am dying!
Or you know it's a friend he's had since he was 10 years old, and this is a chance for them to reignite their friendship. Geez
@@tinamoul I know. It’s not like she asked him to be romantic with her, she just missed him. Of course she never should have cheated though, and she paid the price for that and is now dying without ever fully recovering from it. Honestly sad.
@@tinamoul yeah let's do that forgetting the fact the fact that he loved her and in return for nothing but a broken heart. GeEZZzZ
@@tinamoul she’s not asking to be friends, she’s asking him to pretend to be her husband.
I'm quite happy with the way it ended. You saw her not as your ex, but as your childhood friend.
I could not imagine a more admirable outcome. I'm glad you got to say goodbye to your friend.
It's really music to my ears when a cheater suffers like this, its like their hell was served earlier while they are still living here on Earth. Amazing
what your x wants is out of bounds. don't adulterate your relationship with your wife. affection and comfort belong to your wife not your x
God this is a heart breaking storie. Tons of love one destroyed but never let go. Made me cry. I do not cry easy. So sad. Everyone was real grown and mature in this
1st Story:
No one should ever compromise what they have for what they had. The dying ex is in the past. The wife is what's happening now. It isn't you job to give a cheating ex closure in life. That is something she has to do for herself being that her actions got her into that position. This is in the realm of an unreasonable expectation.
2nd Story:
Just like when you were married, you'll never know when she'll cheat again. You divorced for a reason. What's really changed. Don't go back.
Only see the ex-wife with your current wife being present. If the ex doesn't want that then drop it all together.
OP, you did it right. Your ex is dying, and you was generous in spite of the past, to make her last days peaceful. On the last day, please be there your wife & kids to send her on her homegoing. Be the one to whisper in her ear," It's ok, you can go,, now". God bless you, sir.
She cheated on him. She has no right to expect him to "play hubby" for her just because she's dying. Her loneliness is her own fault, both because she never moved on and because she destroyed what turned out to be the best relationship she ever had. She deserves NOTHING from him and it's sick of her and his sister to ask such things. How insulting to his REAL wife that they'd try to convince him? His ex lost the supposed love of her life because she only thought about her own pleasure; even on her deathbed she's doing the SAME DANG THING.
She cheated on her husband. Ultimately, the price she had to pay was dying alone knowing what family she could have have with him.
It's a terrible way to go.
Second story, she's totally gonna babytrap him.
Fr😂😂
Say good bye out of courtesy and that's as far as it'll go. You are right you don't owe her
Rarely do I hear a story where the cheating spouse seems genuinely remorseful. Sad.
First story, she may deserve peace but she doesn't deserve her ex back. If OP needs to go (for himself) then the current wife goes too...
To be honest I would always question if my husband was telling the truth on what happened the day he visited his ex wife with his sister. I would question if the sister is covering for him. Ik it sounds silly but in the back of my head I'll be questioning so many things that it would eat me away. Op should have dropped by for a few minutes (1 hour best) not a whole afternoon tbh nd never bring over the kids. The ex might pretend that they are hers. Idk it sounds to much of a headache and op should have declined in the first place on everything.
Yup. Its a hassle. Why bother. Current wife is being understanding. But not smart enough....neither of them are smart enough.
Perhaps to ease his conscience, he should visit.....with his wife n kids. Tell the kids she was a close friend. Say good bye and cut all contact.
Later, sister would inform of ex death and ask for him to visit.
Dont bother visiting. Give excuse.
The ex wife cheated and now she is dying so she wants to play house with her ex nope! Let her call the co worker who she cheated and ruined her marriage! I wouldn’t visit her!
The sister in the first story is really off-putting. Imagine still being "besties" with someone who cheated on your brother.
These stories where they started as childhood friends. So sad to lose something so special
He is definitely under no obligation to, but seeing his ex a couple of times during her final days would be the merciful thing to do. Although, I'm a softy and in general, and I don't like to see people suffer. The OP should take long as wife when he sees his ex - just a reminder to her that he has moved on and his love rests with someone else now.
What a sad first story. I think the OP went about it the right way.
Second Story: She's lucky he gave her a second chance. I agree with the stance that the parents need to butt out, and that she needs to stop pressuring him. Marriage is not as important as society makes it out to be. My mom and my stepdad have been together for 17 years, they never married each other, I don't think they ever will marry each other, but I can see them being together until the day they die. Maybe the wife should consider focusing on their relationship and not on whether or not they get the government involved.
Just because you're dying doesn't mean you deserve forgiveness
I agree with you on that. But the war has been fought. There’s no sense carrying the anger. I honestly don’t know what I would do in that situation.
Okay I'm 4 minutes in an if OP does what the ex wants it's not gonna end well. She might be dying but she's been creepily obsessed with OP since the break up and now she's using her condition to get what she wants. No. No. No. No. All the alarm bells are blaring. Cheaters don't have morals. No way in hell she isn't gonna try being inappropriate with him. He's gonna go play house with her and she's gonna want intimacy because "she's dying after all and yes it wasn't what we agreed but I'm dyingggg. Don't you wanna give me peace of mind?"
The only peace of mind she can give herself is by letting him go and accept that it wasn't meant to be. This entire arrangement is unhealthy for everybody involved. If I was in OP or OP's wife's shoes this would be a massive no. Not gonna play pretend with a mentally disturbed sick woman and risk the stability in my relationship for someone who cheated on me. No fucking way.
Then poor easy to manipulate OP is going to bring HIS kids to see her so it will be just them and she can pretend they’re a family. Meanwhile current wife is sitting at home looking the fool.
the first girl really did seem like she was sorry for what she did, not dating after anymore not even the one she was having an affair with, admitting to the dude, I've seen many girls cheating but not admitting to it so it feels a bit different hearing someone actually regret what she did
Have the ex-wife sign over the house prior to agreeing to anything.
First guy handled perfectly and I agree 100%. He wasn’t spiteful and set up boundaries with ex and discussed it all with his wife, who was very understanding.
Damn that first one is so sad. OP handled that well.
I'm seriously questioning where the sister's head is at just for being friends with someone that cheated on her brother
Damn that’s hard, seriously if she really didn’t have s with anyone else all that time then I’d be more than willing to forgive her. Unlike every other cheater she had the balls to come out and still regretted it years later
To hold a friend's hand in their last days is truly what love is. I hope God is as forgiving!
If I was his wife I would be ok with going for coffee somewhere public. I do not want him to regret not seeing her once. The fact that she wanted to pretend to be married knowing he is married to someone else, said I love you to him, and has wedding photos up. I would not trust her at all. I would not let this women see my kids to possibly add into the idea of a happy family.
This is why you indulge with the ex.. Women will want more than they deserve.
I'm sincerely thankful this guy (with the blessing of a truly great wife) decided to see her. I don't carry a torch for any ex GFs or my ex-wife, but I couldn't imagine hating somebody enough (especially someone that still loved me) to not try to be there for them at the end if they asked.
I do wonder how things would have turned out had she not told him. I would never say I wouldn't want to know if my SO cheated on me, but sometimes when you see some of these stories it makes you wonder if they eventually confess for themselves or for the other person. Of course it's great that he was able to move on and have a family, but it is sad that she was never able to move on, and insisted on punishing herself until the end for her mistake. 😥
He did the right thing, he talked to his wife after his sister witch should have been done in the first place. With is sister being there like three old friend from the past. Humanity goes a long way and at this point in her life that was the best he could have done. Bringing joy to someone is the best way to make the world a better place. She is dying there not to much more harm she can do!
The OP can make peace with her and be friends in her last days. OP shouldn't live with regret later on.
Thing is with cheating, you either regret doing it or you regret getting caught.
The latter can rarely ever be worked out, in fact no self respecting person should forgive a cheater they caught.
But the former, if she/he admitted to it, thats a difficult one, there is genuinely regret there.
Also the fact that she never had any proper relationships after him proves that she probably did always love him. Like really truly love him.
I would say that it's too late for any sort of relationship she wants before she dies, but i also think that he probably should have tried harder to forgive her. It's not ideal that she cheated but she was clearly sorry for it. People make mistakes, i know many other make friends male friends who have made similar mistakes.
i would have told her to ask the guy she cheated with to be her faux husband, apparently he knows how to comfort her better than her then husband did
Bro don’t risk it, your ex cheated on you, she ended the marriage not you. You have no obligation to her anymore.
Mercy - forgive her so she goes in peace, but don’t compound the tragedy by risking you own marriage
I swear to God I will never understand how the first story would ever be normal.
i never thought i could respect a cheater soo much i had a cheating ex and it was horrific but that lady actually made me happy unlike my ex she knowed her mistakes and confessed she stuck to her words and loved him that much and i want to believe her but i dont blame the husband for just leaving her
I feel like the 1st one should've been forgiven. They've been together since 14 and haven't even experienced anyone else and came out and was honest about it.
I am glad he went because she is still a human being.
At least she told you that she was cheating unlike some others
Once a cheater always a cheater... I wouldn't even think about accepting her stupid request
I would just write a letter to the ex. That way the ex gets some sort of peace and OP doesn’t damage what he has with his wife.
On the first post, if my cheating first wife wanted me to come visit in her last days, regardless of whether I was remarried or not, the answer would be "How 'bout, NO!". On the second one, I wouldn't not touch my X with someone else's barge pole. A dog returns to it's vomit. Don't be a dog.
"Please don't roast my ex too much. She made a mistake and paid the price. But, It doesn't mean she's an evil person."
Yes, it does. Cheaters are selfish. They only care about themselves and what they want. They don't care how many people they hurt or how bad. In my book, that's the definition of evil.
She doesn’t sound evil. She just sounds like she has bad boundaries and was tragically unable to get over this relationship which I kind of get considering how far back it went, but seriously, she would have had a much happier life if she’d moved on like her ex husband
The first story is just awful to be honest. He has no business bringing his kids to meet this woman who cheated on him, that is weird and subjecting your kids to an odd experience. The fact that she left the wedding photos up and whispered to him on his way out is proof she wants to make a move on him before she dies. OP is going to regret this hardcore if she continues to indulge this selfish request from his ex-wife.
There are certainly a lot of weak men in this world....y’all had the strength to divorce, but go back to comfort them..?! Jeeeeze....
Story 1: I think seeing her is a good thing. Instead of because she was his ex wife it should be because they are childhood friends. Yeah she broke his heart and that's fucked up however as a friend the least you can do is be there in thier final moments for any last bit of closure and peace
Yeah, my Friends sister has lived with cancer 20 years now and still fighting.
Could be a scam... Be careful....
Hope It works out say good bye.
should have cut the sister loose too when she remained bestie with that cheater😠 and she has the audacity to ask the brother to pretend to be the husband of the cheater in her last days😡
Ex is not entitled to anything. Send a snap chat saying "so long and thanks for the fish."
She lost that right when she cheated, and dying doesn't give a pass for a retry. Helping out and providing support is one thing but playing house is a big no no.
Story 1
Yes, she is an evil person. And please ask the kids if they want to see her. The kids should know why they are going to see a dying woman and who she is to the OP.
I think the ex wanted to slowly make a move on op
Forgive perhaps. Forget Never.