The Highly Sensitive Person & Loneliness
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- Опубліковано 16 жов 2024
- In this episode of the Sensitive & Empowered series, Matt and Alissa talk about loneliness. Both Alissa and I are experiencing bouts of loneliness in our lives right now and we wanted to share openly and vulnerable what is causing it and how we are dealing with it.
Being HSP can be such a gift but it can also be challenging to navigate as well. Social isolation and hyper-independence are two common defense mechanisms many of us tend to use to cope with loneliness. In the episode we both unpack some of the day-to-day psychology involved and how it shows up in our lives personally.
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“People use me” that really strikes a chord with me , so much! Doesn’t that come from a deeply rooted fear to trust, again, after having been hurt deeply?
Yeah I think you could easily draw a connection between these two concepts
As an Introvert- and Empath, it has been hard to connect with people- feeling alone in the crowd- mostly not wanting to be there amidst the throng- but craving touch and love
I definitely understand what that’s like
Jon, that’s been an issue of mine for too long…I feel the same contradictions all the time. I have a lot of love inside I desperately want to give to someone, but I’m so afraid of the rejection and subsequent heartbreak I’ve experienced when I let some walls down before that I keep it inside. It’s not easy and I totally get it.
I CRAVE TOUCH TOO 😂❤
The part where Matt you said that you are afraid someone will take advantage of you hit just the right spot for me because we are so used to giving our power away and are just learning to reclaim it and opening up to someone can be loosening that control
Thank you both for the deeply enriching conversation. Of late, I have been trying to reclaim the idea of being a misfit as a sensitive, introverted person. There is a certain freedom and peace that comes with the experience of solitude. But strangely, I also love the possibility of connection and the beauty of being understood!
A lot of the time with HSP's and Empaths we have deep trust issues so we have self sabotaging behaviors. To go through this process is key to freedom. I have gone through this process. But it is as you say in layers so it may come up at varying times in our lives. The part of being fully authentic has been such a long process and a continuous journey. I am 53 and I still have times of being the hermit to recharge, heal, and grow. Curiosity is so great when you look at these through the lens of compassionate inquiry.
Thank you for an amazing talk. I feel like you both are telling my life story. There definitely is a light and dark side of aloneness.
Dual direction - fear of rejection; fear of having to reject. Do it once, do it right.
Love this conversation. Feel the inner longing much of the time. I really feel if I am not working or fulfilling that need for changing the world view of how we interact with each other than I do not have that outlet. As well, as a Leo fire sign there is a n advocacy with comes with the heart centered source. Nice to be authentic with these explorations of who we are as HSP and Empaths, as are willing to express these needs. HSP.s and Empaths really need community even at a distance. Most of us crave deep conversations and exploring ideologies and many of us are here as a force for change but we are unsure of where that can be brought to fruition. I have been through this process many times and I always find it exciting to explore this area. Appreciate the conversation.
Thank you both for sharing as you have on this topic of loneliness as I can relate as well. For me, in addition to all the nuances of being a HSP, both my parents were on NPD spectrum. I am the truth teller/seer and scapegoat. Thus, being "the bad guy" for being me, adds a whole new level of feeling "other."
For me, self-care and living in my love language (quality time) alone and or with others who share a passion, a hobby, and desire mutual connection help bring me life fulfillment.
Wonderful share and one that I relate to as well. Quality time with people I love is my favourite
Lovely chat,thank you,learned a lot,and has made me braver to express the same 🙏💛🌻
I’m so glad to hear that! Thank you for sharing, and keep embracing your voice
Thank you 🙏🏻 this is me. At 63, still trying to figure this out. Causes a little anxiety for me.
Purchased your book, it arrived yesterday!
Awesome! Thank you for supporting me ❤
For sharing and being vulnerable, I relate to both of you so much
Thank you and I’m glad it resonated with you.
I remember my imagination was reoeating an image to me when I was younger: I ringed a doorbell and a person came and said:”no, not here. You do not belong to us, try and ring our neighbours, maybe they will want you.”
So I tried the neighbours, but the same reply. I tried EVERY doorbells in the town with the same result. And than I was very sad and decided to walk away from the town to the fields.
Later I found out I was HSP. The image suddenly makes so much sense, my experiences that were behind that this image, as well.
Love this . This was so interesting I love Matthew's self analysis. Yes, friendships are maintenance. Yes,, one would always want to avoid going with homogeneous energies because growth isn't achieved that way.. great insights and great development, Matt
Matt, I resonate with your messages SO much. Thanks 🙏🏻❤️
You’re welcome and I’m glad for that resonance as well 🙏❤️
Hi, omg , Matt the things you said about wanting find a relationship etc... I am exactly feeling the same right now and in the same stage. And I am also a Gemini.
You guys make me feel so safe :)
This made me smile. Thank you and I am glad you feel safe in our presence
Thank you for Sharing your vulnerabilities 😊
Thank you for watching! 😊
I didn’t hear any mention of boundary-setting during the “I’m being used because I’m an Empath” conversation.
Thank you for the awesome content! The sense of loneliness is not uncommon for me and being more emotional, it sort of weighs more and drags deeper into self-isolation. I'm also curious wheather you also cover themes of being a HSP and gay/bi man? Especially, the self-disocovery, acceptance and opening up phases?
You can follow me on my other account @gaymengoingdeeper I talk about a lot of stuff pertaining to what you are asking about on that account. I have an episode called “the sensitive gay man”
@@mattlandsiedel Thank you, Matt. I think I already follow both accounts and enjoy the content equally. It is very nice to listen to discussions that resonate with personal experiences and learn something new.
I just stumbled across this and Matt, I relate to this deeply. You are such a beautiful person also.
Thank you ☺️❤️
I like this, a lot. I love your podcasts on this channel & the other one, too.
Thanks Richard. You’re support is meaningful to me 🙏❤️
Hyper Vigilance- def resonated with me-
My dad mysteriously left when I was 6, I never shared that with my friends. I've always felt different from others because of my situation and never knew how to talk about it
Thanks for opening up about this. My dad left the family when I was 9 so I can definitely relate to the feeling
thank you ♥
Woooow. You both sound a lot like me. I'm being validated for the first time in my life at the age of 34. 😭
I'm glad you're finding validation. You're not alone in this journey. 🌈❤️
@@mattlandsiedel Thank you! ☺💙
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Put yourself out there. No amt of time you spend with yourself or with others online can fulfill an actual gathering with other people. Like nike, JUST DO IT.❤
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