My mother asked me to take out a loan to pay some debt for her. I asked to see her finances to see where the money was needed; she refused. So I refused. Later I found out she needed the money to pay off my sister’s drug dealer. So glad I didn’t agree.
DONNA Wheeler smart move. If anyone asked you for financial help and won’t show you their current finances to determine where the money should go, then they’re hiding something that they know no one wants to deal with.
Shame on the parents for putting their daughter in such a situation. They have no shame and they need to straighten out their own lives and STOP being a poor role model for their future generations!!!!
I would run through fire to give my daughter a better life...I can't imagine a parent who would steal from their own children, intentionally sandbagging her ability to have a good life.
Yeah this is where I draw the line with helping my parents. They've tried to do this and I caught it early enough. Remember that when applying for a credit card you need to give banks information that this could actually send them to jail. I will help my parents, I'll pay for their medicine but I will not let them ruin my life.
Sounds like her parents have been financially abusing her for years and have obviously guilt tripped her to the point she thinks this behaviour is normal.
Omg this happens more often than people think. Its sad that our parents sit and lie to us about how they are helping us build credit and blah blah blah but they are just setting us up to fail. I hope she fixed this prob
Explosive Best it’s called manipulation for a reason, her parents raised her and lie to her. Obviously their credit is bad if they have to use hers. They don’t teach this smh.
Caller's parents are going to hate whoever stops the gravy train no matter what. If I were the caller's husband I'd tell her "just tell your parents it's all because of me, I'm forcing you to cancel the credit cards to save our marriage." If that (a) makes it easier for my wife and (b) totally destroys my relationship with these people, then that's a win-win.
These pieces of advice are obvious. Does she really need to be told to shut down the cards? I think she may have called in because she was simply looking for reassurance from Dave. It is rough when you have to deal with this type of behavior from your own parents.
And after I closed all those cards, I'd put a hard freeze on my credit so they couldn't open up any more. Did this woman really open 8 cards for them in the first place or did she just OK them to keep opening them in her name way back when? I wouldn't give them the opportunity to do it again. Also, pretty sure you CAN close a credit card with a balance and just pay off the balance. I'm nearly positive I did that years ago when we had a cc balance and we were getting serious about budgeting.
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The goal is to eventually get to having a no score. I have closed cards previously with a balance and my credit did not take a huge hit. However, if it would have, it would not have been long term.
Who cares about the credit taking a hit when the parents are racking up debt in her name? I've closed 2 cards with balances, and neither time did my score rake a hit from it.
Boy, would that freak the mother out! There she is, standing at the register and cashier tells her the transaction has been DECLINED. BOOM! That’s more fun than sitting down and talking to the parents, just cut them off unexpectedly. That’s what they deserve after the daughter paid one card off, and the parents maxed it out again. They didn’t warn her they were gonna do that, why should SHE warn them before she reports the cards lost?
I’m pretty much going through the same thing, except I’ve racked up almost 9000 on just 2 cards and these cards have been sent to collections 2 years ago for non payment. Both maxed out by my parents, never had any payments made
Claim the cards were lost (the ones that have a balance) and have the cards sent to YOUR home so they no longer have access to your account. I feel so bad for the husband. These parents are financially abusing their child, and she hasn't even closed the cards. 😔
It must have been a very long time since Dave had a credit card. It is extremely easy to halt any future charges. 1) down load the app. 2) log in 3) freeze the accounts . Too easy !!!!
She's been treating them like they were her kids. Ohh you maxed out those cards, let me pay them off for you. This will help with my credit score, it's for my benefit. Then let me call and talk to Dave, he'll hold my hand and give me advice that everyone else already basically figured out.
Do NOT tell your parents until you close all the accounts. And the ones that have a balance, report a "lost card", turn off the ones they currently are in possession of and have them ship the new cards to you immediately. Once you have stopped them from abusing these cards, THEN talk to them. They will 100% not pay that debt. This is HER debt now. If you tell them you are closing the accounts, they will immediately spend more because they are disgusting human beings. This woman needs to read the book boundaries. Omg. They never had a good relationship. This is abuse.
If the cards are in her name, then her parents are authorized users, which means they're only allowed to use the card because she says so. She can remove the parents as authorized users and tell them she's done so. Then report ALL the cards as lost and get new cards with new numbers and pay them off (or work with her parents to pay them off, which I don't think they're going to do). That way, she can avoid closing them, which will really tank her credit.
My dad put PG&E bill and some other bill for 15 yrs until I found out.. I was furious because when I wanted to buy stuff when I was younger, I would always be told that my credit was really really bad when I never even used credit in my life. This just shows how irresponsible parents are.
Early in the call she mentioned there are open cards with no balance. Why hasn't she closed them down already, aside from the problem with the debt on the other cards? I mean, if you can do the most basic and obvious things then you need a bloody shake.
Don't close the $0-balance cards immediately (for the sake of your credit rating), but take over control those accounts, away from your parents (account address, online logins, new physical cards, etc.). Those cards presumably add to the avg age of a credit account, as well as the ratio of unused/total credit, both of which are not-insignificant factors in your credit score. Your credit score affects the interest being charged on the other cards. If you have an ARM mortgage, it affects what your new rate could be, or if you want to apply for a mortgage in the medium-near future, it affects your potential rate. Only close immediately if none of those three things matter to you, which also may be the case.
I just found out my mum has been putting credit cards in my name and she hasn't been telling me I found out through her apple watch texting my sister and its happened more than once I haven't confronted her yet about this
Don’t even confront her, straight to an attorney. She’s stealing your identity, your money and you’re future. You and you’re income are nobody else’s property.
You don't need to send registered letter to credit card company...just call and say you lost card and give them new address to send new cards to. Cut them up when they come.
Curious. Dave is wearing a Telluride shirt. Is this the Kia Telluride? It was a concept car in 2016 and was introduced in early 2019 as a 2020. This video was published on 2/18/14.
It will not solve the parents problem, however you could have them open new credit cards with 0% for the first year and then transfer all their debt from her cards to the their new cards-that are now in their own names.
So they originally racked up 13,000 in credit card debt in her name and she paid off the 13,000 and they were supposed to make her payments on that and then they racked up all of the 13,000 again. Sounds like they owe her $26,000 over this whole mess and they need to pay her and settle this. It’s not her job to financially support them.
Why not change the billing address then report the cards damaged? The banks will cancel the cards and send a new numbered card that the parents won't have. First stop the hemorrhage.
This is actually unbelievable, so so so sad If I were her, I'd absolutely pay all the debts immediately and close everything. And then call mom and dad and fill them in, after it is all done.
So many people call up Dave about how to deal with the consequences of their own incredibly stupid decisions, and they can't say five words without laughing.
Never a good idea to close credit cards. Just destroy them. Now, in this case is different because, they can just reorder the card and keep spending money.
I wouldn’t have a sit down. I’d freeze all the accounts then inform them on the phone and that there will be a payment plan. They won’t visit if they know she’s going to bring this up. Really she consented so I don’t see how legally she can compel them to pay. So freeze and close immediately then call them. If they get nasty end the conversation It wouldn’t hurt to consult an attorney but this is as much her fault as her parents.
Boundaries is key word. If we don't set them we will end up like this caller having to owe thousands of dollars of cc debt because her parents guilt trip her.
No kidding. Shut the cards down. The cards are in her name so she can so do that. This is a seven years old show. I hope she got things cleared up. This makes me appreciate having parents, where I was actually the kid in the relationship.
first things first---CANCEL ALL THE CARDS. You'll still owe the money, but at least you won't be violating the first rule of holes, "when you realize you are in a hole, stop digging"
She’s young and consolidating will be healthy for everyone in the situation. Her parents know her and will pressure her if they find out that the cards are still open
Then this sounds like parents are loaning us to care about us as we grow . I don't get it how much I will have to pay my parents too , to cover that huge loan
SHE DIDNT CLOSE THE $5K CARD AFTER PAYING IT OFF?!? I am sorry, she has a lot of this coming to her with her enabling behavior. I doubt she has the intestinal fortitude to do what she needs to do. No wonder her husband is ticked off.
Why doesn’t she just report them lost, and have the cards sent to her. It will be a new account number, and thus the parents cannot use it. She makes no sense here... seems fishy.
she isn't closing the cards because why? and she needs to tell them she is closing them because why? Also why does it matter if the parents blame the husband? who in the F cares what the parents think after they have done this? i am in shock i dont get this
If u watching in 2020, u can freeze or close cards and still make payment. For the sake of credit score, its better to just freeze them. Better yet call the company and report a stolen card. They will automatically freeze all purchases and mail u a new card😆
It's her fault. How does she open the card for herself then agree to allow them to spend money to build HER credit. She's responsible for that stupidity, but she can just close the card considering it's in her name. Simple. She didn't need advice to do this 🙄
My mother asked me to take out a loan to pay some debt for her. I asked to see her finances to see where the money was needed; she refused. So I refused. Later I found out she needed the money to pay off my sister’s drug dealer. So glad I didn’t agree.
DONNA Wheeler smart move. If anyone asked you for financial help and won’t show you their current finances to determine where the money should go, then they’re hiding something that they know no one wants to deal with.
😂😂😂
Omg 29% interest rate? 😳 I gasped out loud when I heard that!
I know you said this a year ago, but I have been rolling around in my chair with this story! Right there with you!
Bonnie Holman
it’s a maxed card interest rate i
I think that is the max they can charge due to usury law.
Calls like this make me grateful for my parents and my inlaws.
Yes...my dad is a bit of a narcissist and overprotective, but not this bad...gosh.
Shame on the parents for putting their daughter in such a situation. They have no shame and they need to straighten out their own lives and STOP being a poor role model for their future generations!!!!
+Joy Powell And they say Millenials have an issue.
well, we do
I can’t imagine using my child like her parents have/are using her. It’s horrible.
It happens all the time.
My niece got a $75,000. Insurance check when she was
21. Her dad asked to borrow it ! !
Mine robbed me blind left me broke and didn't feel bad about doing it all they could say was they needed more than me
That's financial ABuse. I wonder how they will treat her once she puts her foot down.
I could bet money that she’s an only child or the oldest child.
I would run through fire to give my daughter a better life...I can't imagine a parent who would steal from their own children, intentionally sandbagging her ability to have a good life.
My girlfriend is in a similar situation. Dave is right. If I talked to her parents, I would lose my marbles.
But you are just the boyfriend.
@@jvolstad it doesnt discredit his concern, either way.
Yeah this is where I draw the line with helping my parents. They've tried to do this and I caught it early enough. Remember that when applying for a credit card you need to give banks information that this could actually send them to jail. I will help my parents, I'll pay for their medicine but I will not let them ruin my life.
Sounds like her parents have been financially abusing her for years and have obviously guilt tripped her to the point she thinks this behaviour is normal.
Omg this happens more often than people think. Its sad that our parents sit and lie to us about how they are helping us build credit and blah blah blah but they are just setting us up to fail. I hope she fixed this prob
What kind of loser takes their child’s credit cards?
Well, she said she gave them to them...why oh why would you hand over your credit cards to your parents???
lovelyvegan princess well, she said she though she was doing a good thing
@@shannon2748 young and naive
Explosive Best it’s called manipulation for a reason, her parents raised her and lie to her. Obviously their credit is bad if they have to use hers. They don’t teach this smh.
I'm glad my got my second working credit card from him successfully surebelly on telegram
For others watching this, NEVER do this!!!!
Caller's parents are going to hate whoever stops the gravy train no matter what. If I were the caller's husband I'd tell her "just tell your parents it's all because of me, I'm forcing you to cancel the credit cards to save our marriage." If that (a) makes it easier for my wife and (b) totally destroys my relationship with these people, then that's a win-win.
Wow. I have no words. These parents are horrible. I hope she reads boundaries. That booked changed my life.
They don't owe 13,000 YOU owe 13,000.
If I was your husband I would be pretty upset as well. Time for your parents to grow up
She would be getting a job and selling her car. I would pick her up from her jobs, review he pay stubs, etc.
These pieces of advice are obvious. Does she really need to be told to shut down the cards? I think she may have called in because she was simply looking for reassurance from Dave. It is rough when you have to deal with this type of behavior from your own parents.
I think sometimes people call because they know what the advice will be, and they want to hear someone say it.
Well, obviously she does need to be told this by someone with some sense.
I literally said, "WOOOH" when I saw the title of this one and had to click it!
the entire time im literally saying NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
the mom and dad are like " we done alot for you daughter, raise, pay your things you need. it's time to get paid back" lol
My mom kept asking to open a card in my name. So glad that’s one thing I didn’t acquiesce to
And after I closed all those cards, I'd put a hard freeze on my credit so they couldn't open up any more. Did this woman really open 8 cards for them in the first place or did she just OK them to keep opening them in her name way back when? I wouldn't give them the opportunity to do it again. Also, pretty sure you CAN close a credit card with a balance and just pay off the balance. I'm nearly positive I did that years ago when we had a cc balance and we were getting serious about budgeting.
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HappyHandyLife |
CORRECTION!!!! YOU CAN CLOSE AN ACCOUNT WITH BALANCES. I DID
And your credit took a big hit. Don't do that...you'll never have a chance of getting that off until it drops in 7 years.
The goal is to eventually get to having a no score. I have closed cards previously with a balance and my credit did not take a huge hit. However, if it would have, it would not have been long term.
Who cares about the credit taking a hit when the parents are racking up debt in her name? I've closed 2 cards with balances, and neither time did my score rake a hit from it.
Very wise words from Mr. Dave Ramsey
she has a good relationship with her parents!?!?!? LOL!!!!!!!!
NOT!
E Rodriguez I bet they turn on her when she closes these accounts
She has the best relationship money can buy....
Just report the credit cards lost and stolen and have them all sent to your house while you pay them off.
morlandoemtp I agree. Exactly my thoughts. She just calls and everything gets frozen immediately.
Mo: Stolen 10 years ago and not reported yet, hah?
Boy, would that freak the mother out! There she is, standing at the register and cashier tells her the transaction has been DECLINED. BOOM! That’s more fun than sitting down and talking to the parents, just cut them off unexpectedly. That’s what they deserve after the daughter paid one card off, and the parents maxed it out again. They didn’t warn her they were gonna do that, why should SHE warn them before she reports the cards lost?
I agree...sudden deatb
@@somerandomguy2073 report them stolen as of right now not 10 years ago. LoL
It's a way to deactivate the cards they have and they send you new ones.
Freeze your credit with all of the big 3. My dad did this to me. It's a disaster
I’m pretty much going through the same thing, except I’ve racked up almost 9000 on just 2 cards and these cards have been sent to collections 2 years ago for non payment. Both maxed out by my parents, never had any payments made
I needed to hear this!!!!! Buying the book today!!!
Too many people are concerned about building their credit score. It's more important to build wealth than your credit score. Don't go into debt.
She says that apart from the credit cards they have a great relationship with her parents. Call me pessimistic but that's hard to believe
Claim the cards were lost (the ones that have a balance) and have the cards sent to YOUR home so they no longer have access to your account. I feel so bad for the husband. These parents are financially abusing their child, and she hasn't even closed the cards. 😔
BTW-you CAN close an account with a balance. It is a fight but can be done.
Wow! Why do parents do this to their children!?!?
Because some parents are complete and utter garbage.
It must have been a very long time since Dave had a credit card. It is extremely easy to halt any future charges. 1) down load the app. 2) log in 3) freeze the accounts . Too easy !!!!
She's been treating them like they were her kids. Ohh you maxed out those cards, let me pay them off for you. This will help with my credit score, it's for my benefit. Then let me call and talk to Dave, he'll hold my hand and give me advice that everyone else already basically figured out.
Do NOT tell your parents until you close all the accounts. And the ones that have a balance, report a "lost card", turn off the ones they currently are in possession of and have them ship the new cards to you immediately. Once you have stopped them from abusing these cards, THEN talk to them. They will 100% not pay that debt. This is HER debt now. If you tell them you are closing the accounts, they will immediately spend more because they are disgusting human beings. This woman needs to read the book boundaries. Omg. They never had a good relationship. This is abuse.
I realize that the only things that keeping you from building wealth is car payment and credit card.
I felt that when she asked "Can you help me?"
Boundaries is a great book
BZA who is the author ?
mzgemini0006 Henry Cloud
If the cards are in her name, then her parents are authorized users, which means they're only allowed to use the card because she says so. She can remove the parents as authorized users and tell them she's done so. Then report ALL the cards as lost and get new cards with new numbers and pay them off (or work with her parents to pay them off, which I don't think they're going to do). That way, she can avoid closing them, which will really tank her credit.
My dad put PG&E bill and some other bill for 15 yrs until I found out.. I was furious because when I wanted to buy stuff when I was younger, I would always be told that my credit was really really bad when I never even used credit in my life. This just shows how irresponsible parents are.
I bet these parents tried guilt and every other trick. If they aren’t successful, they will try anger.
Early in the call she mentioned there are open cards with no balance. Why hasn't she closed them down already, aside from the problem with the debt on the other cards? I mean, if you can do the most basic and obvious things then you need a bloody shake.
Don't close the $0-balance cards immediately (for the sake of your credit rating), but take over control those accounts, away from your parents (account address, online logins, new physical cards, etc.). Those cards presumably add to the avg age of a credit account, as well as the ratio of unused/total credit, both of which are not-insignificant factors in your credit score.
Your credit score affects the interest being charged on the other cards. If you have an ARM mortgage, it affects what your new rate could be, or if you want to apply for a mortgage in the medium-near future, it affects your potential rate. Only close immediately if none of those three things matter to you, which also may be the case.
Couldn't you say your credit cards are lost and get new ones that are only sent to her?
my message to the parents is simply this , what is wrong with you , taking advantage of your own kids, you otta be ashamed of yourself !
I just found out my mum has been putting credit cards in my name and she hasn't been telling me I found out through her apple watch texting my sister and its happened more than once I haven't confronted her yet about this
Don’t even confront her, straight to an attorney. She’s stealing your identity, your money and you’re future. You and you’re income are nobody else’s property.
Instead of asking “What is wrong with your parents”, he should have asked “Do your parents not love you?”
(1) Cancel the cards (2) get an ageeement with Mom and Dad for them to pay off their charges-with interest. Go to court if necessary.
His Mac book still has a dvd drive.
2014, so recent yet so long ago...
You don't need to send registered letter to credit card company...just call and say you lost card and give them new address to send new cards to. Cut them up when they come.
tell parents she's closing all cards, they will retaliate by not paying the debt
She needs to FIRST IN WRITING GET THE PARENTS TO ADMIT they agree to pay back the debt. If not...they can just claim it is a gift
Curious. Dave is wearing a Telluride shirt. Is this the Kia Telluride? It was a concept car in 2016 and was introduced in early 2019 as a 2020. This video was published on 2/18/14.
No it's a ski resort in Colorado
Police report time.
Please stop helping friends and families with money. It never helps anyone.
Close all cards NOW!!!!!!!!!!
It will not solve the parents problem, however you could have them open new credit cards with 0% for the first year and then transfer all their debt from her cards to the their new cards-that are now in their own names.
they will ream lynn for not helping them out if they have to pay their own way.
So they originally racked up 13,000 in credit card debt in her name and she paid off the 13,000 and they were supposed to make her payments on that and then they racked up all of the 13,000 again. Sounds like they owe her $26,000 over this whole mess and they need to pay her and settle this. It’s not her job to financially support them.
That lady made a bad choice back then and continues to do so. She may as well send her folks a check every month. Then give them more cards.
Why not change the billing address then report the cards damaged? The banks will cancel the cards and send a new numbered card that the parents won't have.
First stop the hemorrhage.
This is actually unbelievable, so so so sad
If I were her, I'd absolutely pay all the debts immediately and close everything. And then call mom and dad and fill them in, after it is all done.
She should report it, close the cards and she shouldn’t pay a thing.
I can barely hear this video. 😣
Or report all credit cards lost/ stolen send new ones to your house, cut them up
Set boundaries with your thieving parents
So many people call up Dave about how to deal with the consequences of their own incredibly stupid decisions, and they can't say five words without laughing.
Noooooooooooooooo why did you do that nooooo
GIRL!!!! wow
Lynn needs to sever all ties with her entitled dirt bag parents. Being nice(weak, submissive) is what get her into this mess in the first place.
Never a good idea to close credit cards. Just destroy them. Now, in this case is different because, they can just reorder the card and keep spending money.
I wouldn’t have a sit down. I’d freeze all the accounts then inform them on the phone and that there will be a payment plan. They won’t visit if they know she’s going to bring this up. Really she consented so I don’t see how legally she can compel them to pay. So freeze and close immediately then call them. If they get nasty end the conversation
It wouldn’t hurt to consult an attorney but this is as much her fault as her parents.
Boundaries is key word. If we don't set them we will end up like this caller having to owe thousands of dollars of cc debt because her parents guilt trip her.
Losers come in all forms.
No kidding. Shut the cards down. The cards are in her name so she can so do that. This is a seven years old show. I hope she got things cleared up. This makes me appreciate having parents, where I was actually the kid in the relationship.
first things first---CANCEL ALL THE CARDS. You'll still owe the money, but at least you won't be violating the first rule of holes, "when you realize you are in a hole, stop digging"
She doesn't have to close them to further charges. Just get a new card with a new number on the same account. Then they can't use the old cards.
She’s young and consolidating will be healthy for everyone in the situation. Her parents know her and will pressure her if they find out that the cards are still open
Then this sounds like parents are loaning us to care about us as we grow . I don't get it how much I will have to pay my parents too , to cover that huge loan
Kellys the real hero
reality check: Life is Unfair, but we just have to live in it. If life was fair, there wouldn't be poverty, and everyone would live a blissful life.
Why do grown adults behave like that?
If the cards are in her name can't she just close them? Let them find out the hard way if she doesn't want to tell them.
Her not closing the cards show some codependency issues
SHE DIDNT CLOSE THE $5K CARD AFTER PAYING IT OFF?!? I am sorry, she has a lot of this coming to her with her enabling behavior. I doubt she has the intestinal fortitude to do what she needs to do. No wonder her husband is ticked off.
Is this woman 5 years old ?
Once again...... SHEEP SHEEP SHEEP...... Where is the Stone and Steel in people. I mean really....
Boundaries Dr Henry cloud
Grow up! You are a married woman, not mommy and daddy's little girl.
She's in Washington DC. They have a credit card in all our names.
Is it just me or isn’t this theft and fraud which are crimes?
Why doesn’t she just report them lost, and have the cards sent to her. It will be a new account number, and thus the parents cannot use it. She makes no sense here... seems fishy.
she isn't closing the cards because why? and she needs to tell them she is closing them because why? Also why does it matter if the parents blame the husband? who in the F cares what the parents think after they have done this? i am in shock i dont get this
Her poor husband…
Have them arrested....... jail time....
What is wrong with you?
If u watching in 2020, u can freeze or close cards and still make payment. For the sake of credit score, its better to just freeze them.
Better yet call the company and report a stolen card. They will automatically freeze all purchases and mail u a new card😆
How is this a question?? Cancel the cards and demand the money Or a law suit! Oy
It's her fault. How does she open the card for herself then agree to allow them to spend money to build HER credit. She's responsible for that stupidity, but she can just close the card considering it's in her name. Simple. She didn't need advice to do this 🙄
People are so naive.
It sounds like her parents, are more childish.
This woman sounds like a real flake. She should have dealt with this situation years ago.