Gonna add my own lil experience since everyone else is. > Be a Triton cleric in search of his long lost parents. > Hear about an oracle who can help find lost things. > Beg party members to take me to the oracle. > Meet a nice witch who is keeping the oracle secure in her basement. > Oracle is a black sluge thing with a singular eye inside a jar. > Witch yells down to tell me to put a finger in the jar. > I do that and it bites off my pinky finger. > I ask the witch " can I ask it a question now!? > The oracle responds "Y E S" > TFW I wasted my question and had to give it another finger ( I just gave it a pinky toe tho)
Its also impossible. I dont mean to shit on anybodies parade but to pin something you need the grappler feat. To get it you have to be level 4 or a variant human. theyre a half orc and they indicate that the killing of the dragon is what brought them to level 4 so they werent at the time of pinning
I also had the same concept as the piece above. Fantiago Rompedor de los Muertos (Breaker of the dead) Wore a magical mask resembling a bull's skull. Half orc, 250 lbs of pure muscle and flamboyance, also wore a magical feather boa of all colors that granted him a charisma bonus. His legendary moment came when we infiltrated the dark lord's castle, the lord kidnapped our rogue who stole every single left boot from the dark lord's army. We found our guy, tortured and barely alive. Leaving the cleric and paladin behind to tend to our halfling Fantiago and our wizard confronted the lord who proved to be a coward as well as a sadist took flight and attempted to fly down to the main floor of the castle while we had to take the stairs. Wizard dispells flight, dark lord falls the last 20 feet and is prone on his back. Fantiago, without hesitation runs and leaps from the balcony above, 50 foot drop down, yells 'I am FANTIAGO! You have spit on the pride of our trickster, you are DEAD for I shall BREAK YOU! OOOOOOH YEEEAAAHH!" as he falls.. roll... Nat 20.. the Macho Man elbowdrop caved in the coward's breastplate. Half orc looks down at now dying lord, takes off his left boot, places it on the dead man's face. Limps silently back to the party to tell them the tale.
so all u did was jump from a window while the barely mentioned wizard grappeled with the will of a dark lord and somehow prevailed dropping him 20 ft and cc-ing him and yet you see this as your win???
There was another D&D story about a guy whose DM had everyone roll to determine the level of their "endowment". The guy ended up with an 18-inch dwarf.
to any who wish to hear,i have an amusing tale. i once played a Paladin of Bahamut in a near epic-level game a friend was DMing. we were charged with having to stop a Coup that was trying to overthrow a kingdom,our party eventualy tracked down a high ranking member of this rebellion,and after several fights we subdued him. we needed information from him,info that he was not giving..this individual was a typical stubborn,short tempered and apathetic Dwarf. and because i was Lawfull good,i could not exactly torture him in any kind of violent or painfull matter,so i devised a more "indirect" method of torment. i prayed to Bahamut to give me the power,and with a natural 100 i succeed. we (and the dwarf) were teliported to a cavern and the Dwarf was incased in cement up to his neck....where we came face to face with an Ancient Brass Dragon,whom was a bit suprised and asked to know what we were doing in its lair as i pointed to the dwarf and said with a mischievous grin.... "he wants to keep you company,and hear your life story"
Pfft! That's nothing! My players (both playing female characters) got almost kidnapped by some human traficking guys. They defeated them and decided to investigate. They got a NPC to drive them and sell them out as slaves, thinking they were about to bust a sexual traficking ring. They had to find out that they just offered themselves to a secret laboratory with high end security that experimented on vampires. I took everything from them: Their weapons, their hacking devices and I threw the mage in a cell with high level ward spells. It was really intense, they were seperated for most of the session and they had to improvise for everything, but they succeded in the end. They will never trust me again....
One time i was playing as a gnome bard, one night we were attcked by pirates, the game was approaching the later hours of the day and i was tired so i said "fuck it" and rolled a 20 tto sink the pirate ship. It worked. A kraken heard my music and dragged the pirate ship to the bottom of the ocean.
"Destroy him from the inside" holy shit this reads more like a alien parasite than a dnd hero. Everyone make sure you don't have any body openings where halfling rouges could enter.
I was doing a dungeons and dragons game with my cousins, it was a starter game, with pre-generated characters and since it had been a while since we had played I emphasised that you can do whatever you wish in this game. Fast forward an hour and my cousins have fought off a goblin ambush and are interrogating a captured one, after they get all of the information out of him I ask what he does next and my cousin says "I cut off his head", my other cousin then says "I chop the heads off of the corpses outside" and the last cousin tried to stop them but in the end he just joined in. So later in the story they just kept collecting the heads of their enemies and would literally use the heads as weapons and to scare people, on several occasions actively caving in a goblin's skull with his boss' head. Their decapitating shenanigans got so out of hand that I made it so that the goblins called them lenian head taker and arsoth skull collector, and at the beginning of each combat they would roll for intimidation and if they succeeded the goblins recognised them and just noped right outta there! So that is how my cousins became decapitating ph sycophantic and the bane of everything with an intact cranium!
I started DMing recently for my dad and some of my friends. First game and they entered a goblin cave and my father's mage finds a Dwarf's finger and casted light on the fingernail, he now has a fingerlight... I can only imagine his characters heartbreak when it decays.
BRUH I CAME UP WITH THE SAME GAMEPLAY/ROLEPLAY SCHEME AS LOS TIBURON! X"D 'Pablo Rameres Avina Raul Del Fuego', AKA 'El Cazador', is my own luchador wrestler monk. He wears a black and yellow mask with cheetah print spandex. I gave him the 'Gladiator' background. Other than his fists, he carries around a random folding chair and a ladder to use as his weapons of choice.
>playing a Homebrew dystopian world. >Party got tangled in a rebellion. >Separated. Find an NPC who weaponized a cargo plane to have weapons to the brim, carries luxury cars no longer found anywhere in the planet. >Finally found friends, but I am up in the skies, they are losing a boss match in the ground. >Rebellion can help, but they are busy fighting army. >I talk to the NPC to help us before I go out. He says no. >Before I jump, I shoot the car's windows and doors. >I jump and head straight into the middle of the enemy army. >Spend the next three turns rolling dodges from autocannons, missiles, machine guns and a laser beam. >Dodged. >Them. >All. >All the shots and missiles land on the enemy forces. >Kill half of them. >Rebellion wins and moves to help my friends. >I move to pull the string on the parachute to land. >FML. >Forgot parachute. >Died. >MVP though.
>be me, first game of end ever. DMing Lost Minds of Phandelver. >be players, needing to ask all knowing banshee to get location of ancient magical book for a quest. >players made it to banshee hide out. >me reminding the players that they can only ask one question. >banshee appears >players frightened by banshees appearance and fear of waisting question. >party’s high elf wizard pushes the human fighter to talk to banshee >fighter startled by sudden spot light try’s to strike up some small talk >he greets the banshee awkwardly >then to my dumbfounded amazment he asked the banshee her name. > HE. ASKED. FOR. HER. NAME. >banshee answers “Agatha” then disappears. >Party is confused. >I draw the attention of the halfling rouge to a chest in the room. >he opens it and sees that on the top of the chest the words “ One Question “ is crudely scratched on it. >party instantly remembers, and all start yelling at the human fighter. >I don’t know how it feels to be a disappointed parent, but I feel like being a DM is a very close to it.
That second one about the shield, I was playing dnd as a paladin and the DM gave me a shield EXACTLY like that. So similar it seems like he took that idea from that story. It was REALLY the excact same.
We had a guy who was a barbarian who wanted to be a shield, because he rolls a natural 20 on his armor class for some reason and also his defense stats, we decided that he can only equip himself at The shield. Afterwards, he wanted to help and some part of the campaign by bringing one of the NPC's to a safer place... Lo and behold he rolls in a nat 20.... I tell him "you just f****** football style quarterbacked the NPC's daughter 50 mi away from the tavern Non-Stop" Due to his strength and his unnaturally high range of natural 20 rolls, he basically earned the nickname "the unstoppable and immovable"
Here's one of mine: Doing freestyle roleplay, no specific rules other than the GM's decisions and the universe he created. One guy of our party decides to be a half-dwarf half-troll... So basically, he's as strong and tanky as he's stupid. At some point, he gets lucky and loots an extremely rare, precious, and most of all dangerous magic gem, and since he doesn't like its colour, he decides to pawn it to a magic ring seller in exchange for 5 rings with minor magic gems picked at random for the colours he liked. He doesn't know what each colour does before choosing. The GM allows this deal because choosing shiny rocks for their colour is perfectly in character for that guy. Once the deal is done, the shopkeeper explains what each stone does. 4 of them are one-shot elemental blasts that recharge over time. He puts them all on one fist to get a one-shot super punch... The last one is a random portal ring. Creates a portal in front of him that sends whatever enters it to a random location around. He puts it on the major of his other hand. Calls it the FU ring. End of the campaign is a boss fight against a dragon. Our bulky friend manages to land his super punch that does decent damage, but the dragon is far from dead. Dragon gets pissed off and tries to bite him. Critical fail at evasion, he gets swallowed whole. Struggles a bit inside the dragon, and out of options, decides to give the dragon's innard the bird to use his random teleportation ring. From the outside, the rest of the party still fighting sees the dragon have some kind of a hiccup, and then slump on the ground, straight up dead. A few meters away, a portal appears in the air, and out of it fall the dragon's heart and a chunk of his left lung... A few minutes later, the half-dwarf half-troll managed to eat his way out of the dragon's entrails... That was at the same time one of the most ridiculous and the most metal way I've ever seen a dragon get killed.
I once made a chicken leader of the guard with persuasion named Colonel Sanders. What was funny was it has to roll to see if true and got a natural 20. The chicken was actually a pretty good leader compared to the previous one we killed and it even led troops into battle successfully during the same session against a bandit attack on the town.
Here's a tale for you all. >Be me. >Pick half Orc with a spear. >Eventually upgrade to a cast iron javelin. >Find thick chain and attach to said javelin (half Orcs are proficient with chain weapons.) >Buy boat. >Sail out. >Battle giant albino shark and bring it to island. >Have an old sailor captain comment on your skills and get invited on ship. >Once gained trust kill old captain and assert dominance amongst the crew. >Upgrade chain to a 20 foot cast iron chain capable of holding down massive creatures. >Become the greatest hunter that ever lived (eventually got a peg leg too.).
Alright, let's math this. To fit into an extremely tight space, you need to beat a DC of 80. Let's assume the rogue is the bare minimum level for epic, 21, and go from there. Max possible escape artist rank: 24 Max possible base DEX score, assuming nothing else is boosting it: 25, a +7 modifier Gloves of dexterity +6: +3 to DEX modifier Assuming he is wearing greater slick armor of boneless leather: +15 competence bonus to Escape Artist, +5 circumstance bonus to Escape Artist Agile: +2 to Escape Artist. Baalzebul Brand (Fiendish Codex 2): +4 to Escape Artist (untyped) Ring of the Octopus (Far Corners Of the World): +10 to Escape Artist (untyped) Silver Key of Portals (Epic Level Handbook): +30 to Escape Artist (insight) Slippery (Unearthed Arcana): +1 to Escape Artist (untyped) Skinny (Unearthed Arcana): +1 to Escape Artist (untyped) Total: 102 Yeah, if he has the Silver Key of Portals, nothing short of a really bad roll is squeezing him out of that.
I'm actually friends with the guy that played Los Tiburon. Great guy, and yes he still plays grapple monks in 5e. Yes, he also makes the DMs sigh in frustration as he breaks their well laid plans
IDIOTIC IDEA: >you and a friend both play a wizard >both pick up glyph of warding >reach level 17 >pick up true polymorph >find BBEG's home/crypt/castle/dungeon >have your friend put a glyph using a 9th level spell slot In the BBEG's bedroom >load the glyph with a true polymorph spell >hide >wait for BBEG to trigger it >LAUGH AS BBEG PERMANENTLY POLYMORPHS INTO AN ANT what do you think of my crazy idea?
Y'know my group at one time had this whole Power Rangers theme going, no evil, no chaos, no neutral, only good guys. It was at the set of the kids show. And our DM went with it. Much fun was had. So one of my fellow players decided to be sneaky and become evil, chaotic evil and, decided to cite the rules for the Mhatma-Ghandi-pacifist+X-Bug. Our DM wouldn't want to do this, but still said okay. And not informed the other players. So, we were right in a rather extended Quest/Season and Dude... lets call him Ranger Black just started to fkk with other peoples shit, like burning the text for the next episode, tampering with the coffee machine so it goes boom (it just catched fire) and meddling with the props. Turns out the Text was rigged by a hacker to get subliminal NSFW messages throu (some bull like innuendos and non-kid-friendly language), the coffee machine incident turned up more fire hazards at inspection and the props killed a stalker for our Pink Ranger... He actually pouted as the DM told him, over the wall, that he wanted to have some fun too, as Ranger Black moaned about how difficult it is to be evil.
The words are already there for ya, just read em, other Channels that just do reads read it themselves and that's barely enough to keep me watching them and not go to the subreddits, you got my support if you try to read it
Yeah, I know why they want to rebel and find it that going against a moral baseline is the best way to get attention. I found it stupid even when I found myself doing the same type of shit. But actually confusing that with funny, that is worrying.
![[4chan] D&D Tales: The Band Of Misfits](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/fkrSSpuh-BE/mqdefault.jpg)
The warlock burning himself was gold.
Gonna add my own lil experience since everyone else is.
> Be a Triton cleric in search of his long lost parents.
> Hear about an oracle who can help find lost things.
> Beg party members to take me to the oracle.
> Meet a nice witch who is keeping the oracle secure in her basement.
> Oracle is a black sluge thing with a singular eye inside a jar.
> Witch yells down to tell me to put a finger in the jar.
> I do that and it bites off my pinky finger.
> I ask the witch " can I ask it a question now!?
> The oracle responds "Y E S"
> TFW I wasted my question and had to give it another finger ( I just gave it a pinky toe tho)
Finding dory d&d edition
_Regenerate_ is a Lvl 7 spell. Wonder how long you had missing digits.
that dragon grapple story was awesome
GRAPPLE A FUCKING DRAGON
And that’s how I got to level four.
That story is what people play DnD for.
Its also impossible. I dont mean to shit on anybodies parade but to pin something you need the grappler feat. To get it you have to be level 4 or a variant human. theyre a half orc and they indicate that the killing of the dragon is what brought them to level 4 so they werent at the time of pinning
Isn't the whole point of DnD that the rules exist for the convenience of consistency, but don't actually hold power over the players?
The story about the two rogues and the bard is fucking great I love it. Lmao
The fucking last story killed me
IKR
It killed the BBEG too.
that's why you don't roll dark lord
I don't know what's going on but my asshole is in danger!
the bum halfling was great so was the monk pinning dragon
There is no enemy too great, only another challenge to make into a trophy - for this is the path, the honor of the mask!!
That last campaign sounded like a... Pain in the Ass to DM
P.s. love the outro
the one with the Paladin turning evil cause of the shield is amazing.
I also had the same concept as the piece above. Fantiago Rompedor de los Muertos (Breaker of the dead) Wore a magical mask resembling a bull's skull. Half orc, 250 lbs of pure muscle and flamboyance, also wore a magical feather boa of all colors that granted him a charisma bonus. His legendary moment came when we infiltrated the dark lord's castle, the lord kidnapped our rogue who stole every single left boot from the dark lord's army. We found our guy, tortured and barely alive. Leaving the cleric and paladin behind to tend to our halfling Fantiago and our wizard confronted the lord who proved to be a coward as well as a sadist took flight and attempted to fly down to the main floor of the castle while we had to take the stairs. Wizard dispells flight, dark lord falls the last 20 feet and is prone on his back. Fantiago, without hesitation runs and leaps from the balcony above, 50 foot drop down, yells 'I am FANTIAGO! You have spit on the pride of our trickster, you are DEAD for I shall BREAK YOU! OOOOOOH YEEEAAAHH!" as he falls.. roll... Nat 20.. the Macho Man elbowdrop caved in the coward's breastplate. Half orc looks down at now dying lord, takes off his left boot, places it on the dead man's face. Limps silently back to the party to tell them the tale.
so all u did was jump from a window while the barely mentioned wizard grappeled with the will of a dark lord and somehow prevailed dropping him 20 ft and cc-ing him and yet you see this as your win???
@@karvest2036 I'd say it was since the Lucha actually killed the dark lord. Wizard only helped the process.
@@moondusk53 It was a tag-team take out.
@@severindrake980 underrated comment
This is why I love D&D
Jew must be a class I overlooked in the Players Manual
if the story about creating a sea of skeletons isn’t here imma be grumpy
edit: it ain’t here, i’m grumpy
next time my friend
skeleton star?
The one where the world becomes covered in skeletons, and eventually their mass becomes so dense that they become a small star?
I'm not so grumpy.
Mr. Boney's Wild Ride!
Los Tiburon more like Beowulf
There was another D&D story about a guy whose DM had everyone roll to determine the level of their "endowment". The guy ended up with an 18-inch dwarf.
It can also function as an impromptu kickstand.
@@ZKP314 "My nickname is 'Tripod'"
I read Los Tiburon on my channel, it was good shit
Pepe the Space Cowboy
Best JoJo.
Same
Just started a campaign as a wood elf monk and I'm really tempted to take it this way now
Purging heretics
"Evil"
Sick of this normie propaganda
What if the Devil tricked you into killing innocents? I think that is what happened there.
MrZurata That Shield was obviously a Deamon Shield, it corrupted that poor Paladin to do its Chaotic will.
kabob 007 It wasn't a demon shield it was just malavolent.
Magnus Anderson It's a Deamon Shield and all who disagree are HERETICS! *Starts waving a Bolter around* NOW WHAT IS IT!?
That Paladin was just out spreading the word of Bahamut the day he was killed!
#PaladinDidNothingWrong
Wouldn't allow the bear untill he comes up with a detailed explanation of his disguise.
That last story absolutely floored me so bad I had to throw my pencil across the table or else I'd screw up what I was drawing. Good show!
Oh god that last one beautiful
I was not ready for that last story. Oh my god I laughed so hard.
Please keep doing these. Dnd stories are the best
to any who wish to hear,i have an amusing tale.
i once played a Paladin of Bahamut in a near epic-level game a friend was DMing. we were charged with having to stop a Coup that was trying to overthrow a kingdom,our party eventualy tracked down a high ranking member of this rebellion,and after several fights we subdued him. we needed information from him,info that he was not giving..this individual was a typical stubborn,short tempered and apathetic Dwarf. and because i was Lawfull good,i could not exactly torture him in any kind of violent or painfull matter,so i devised a more "indirect" method of torment.
i prayed to Bahamut to give me the power,and with a natural 100 i succeed. we (and the dwarf) were teliported to a cavern and the Dwarf was incased in cement up to his neck....where we came face to face with an Ancient Brass Dragon,whom was a bit suprised and asked to know what we were doing in its lair as i pointed to the dwarf and said with a mischievous grin....
"he wants to keep you company,and hear your life story"
First story is like how to grant your players severe paranoia
Pfft! That's nothing! My players (both playing female characters) got almost kidnapped by some human traficking guys. They defeated them and decided to investigate. They got a NPC to drive them and sell them out as slaves, thinking they were about to bust a sexual traficking ring.
They had to find out that they just offered themselves to a secret laboratory with high end security that experimented on vampires. I took everything from them: Their weapons, their hacking devices and I threw the mage in a cell with high level ward spells.
It was really intense, they were seperated for most of the session and they had to improvise for everything, but they succeded in the end. They will never trust me again....
the very last one and the bear one were both Gorgeous. my sides are ripped to shreds. too funny.
9:51 the definition of "no one will ever believe you."
One time i was playing as a gnome bard, one night we were attcked by pirates, the game was approaching the later hours of the day and i was tired so i said "fuck it" and rolled a 20 tto sink the pirate ship. It worked. A kraken heard my music and dragged the pirate ship to the bottom of the ocean.
Bet everyone was pissed the hours they spent got overshadowed by a kraken just pulling there ship down
Benjamin Anderson it was hilarious
Yeah for you
Everyone was hype
"The fucking meat dimension" I swear I nearly fucking died, I'm too old for this! X'D
these are amazing, especially the wrestler that was hilarious
TFW NOT ASS ROGUE WHO SAVED THE LAND
Shield: *DEUS VULT, INFIDELS*
that last story put my sides into high orbit
Missing "More Whores," "Cat Rogue," and "Get in the fucking bag"
anyone else remember when he uploaded this originally and it was just a black screen with no audio?
i member
this is the first time that someone that i'm subscribed to responded to a comment that i made.
"Destroy him from the inside" holy shit this reads more like a alien parasite than a dnd hero. Everyone make sure you don't have any body openings where halfling rouges could enter.
I was doing a dungeons and dragons game with my cousins, it was a starter game, with pre-generated characters and since it had been a while since we had played I emphasised that you can do whatever you wish in this game.
Fast forward an hour and my cousins have fought off a goblin ambush and are interrogating a captured one, after they get all of the information out of him I ask what he does next and my cousin says "I cut off his head", my other cousin then says "I chop the heads off of the corpses outside" and the last cousin tried to stop them but in the end he just joined in.
So later in the story they just kept collecting the heads of their enemies and would literally use the heads as weapons and to scare people, on several occasions actively caving in a goblin's skull with his boss' head. Their decapitating shenanigans got so out of hand that I made it so that the goblins called them lenian head taker and arsoth skull collector, and at the beginning of each combat they would roll for intimidation and if they succeeded the goblins recognised them and just noped right outta there!
So that is how my cousins became decapitating ph sycophantic and the bane of everything with an intact cranium!
I started DMing recently for my dad and some of my friends. First game and they entered a goblin cave and my father's mage finds a Dwarf's finger and casted light on the fingernail, he now has a fingerlight... I can only imagine his characters heartbreak when it decays.
BRUH I CAME UP WITH THE SAME GAMEPLAY/ROLEPLAY SCHEME AS LOS TIBURON! X"D
'Pablo Rameres Avina Raul Del Fuego', AKA 'El Cazador', is my own luchador wrestler monk. He wears a black and yellow mask with cheetah print spandex. I gave him the 'Gladiator' background.
Other than his fists, he carries around a random folding chair and a ladder to use as his weapons of choice.
That... that is beautiful
That's what makes D&D so great, you can make it your own.
The weapons of choice are what makes this character awesome
fucking gold
most of these were Epic
and that CE bard...
wow... just... *WOW*
I thought the dragon grapple was the best and then the last one came up OMFG ROFL
XD Someone please help that last one made me laugh so hard I coughed out my long
The dragon story reminds me of the fact that in Final Fantasy 6 you can suplex a fucking train XD
the assassin halfling killed me. that was amazing XD
And that is how you play chaotic evil. Brilliant
>playing a Homebrew dystopian world.
>Party got tangled in a rebellion.
>Separated. Find an NPC who weaponized a cargo plane to have weapons to the brim, carries luxury cars no longer found anywhere in the planet.
>Finally found friends, but I am up in the skies, they are losing a boss match in the ground.
>Rebellion can help, but they are busy fighting army.
>I talk to the NPC to help us before I go out. He says no.
>Before I jump, I shoot the car's windows and doors.
>I jump and head straight into the middle of the enemy army.
>Spend the next three turns rolling dodges from autocannons, missiles, machine guns and a laser beam.
>Dodged.
>Them.
>All.
>All the shots and missiles land on the enemy forces.
>Kill half of them.
>Rebellion wins and moves to help my friends.
>I move to pull the string on the parachute to land.
>FML.
>Forgot parachute.
>Died.
>MVP though.
Oh my god, the last one had me rolling on the ground!
>be me, first game of end ever. DMing Lost Minds of Phandelver.
>be players, needing to ask all knowing banshee to get location of ancient magical book for a quest.
>players made it to banshee hide out.
>me reminding the players that they can only ask one question.
>banshee appears
>players frightened by banshees appearance and fear of waisting question.
>party’s high elf wizard pushes the human fighter to talk to banshee
>fighter startled by sudden spot light try’s to strike up some small talk
>he greets the banshee awkwardly
>then to my dumbfounded amazment he asked the banshee her name.
> HE. ASKED. FOR. HER. NAME.
>banshee answers “Agatha” then disappears.
>Party is confused.
>I draw the attention of the halfling rouge to a chest in the room.
>he opens it and sees that on the top of the chest the words “ One Question “ is crudely scratched on it.
>party instantly remembers, and all start yelling at the human fighter.
>I don’t know how it feels to be a disappointed parent, but I feel like being a DM is a very close to it.
Ah yes, the tale of Sneers the Assblaster. A true classic
That second one about the shield, I was playing dnd as a paladin and the DM gave me a shield EXACTLY like that. So similar it seems like he took that idea from that story. It was REALLY the excact same.
This is great! I subscribed!
We had a guy who was a barbarian who wanted to be a shield, because he rolls a natural 20 on his armor class for some reason and also his defense stats, we decided that he can only equip himself at The shield. Afterwards, he wanted to help and some part of the campaign by bringing one of the NPC's to a safer place... Lo and behold he rolls in a nat 20.... I tell him "you just f****** football style quarterbacked the NPC's daughter 50 mi away from the tavern Non-Stop"
Due to his strength and his unnaturally high range of natural 20 rolls, he basically earned the nickname "the unstoppable and immovable"
Here's one of mine: Doing freestyle roleplay, no specific rules other than the GM's decisions and the universe he created. One guy of our party decides to be a half-dwarf half-troll... So basically, he's as strong and tanky as he's stupid. At some point, he gets lucky and loots an extremely rare, precious, and most of all dangerous magic gem, and since he doesn't like its colour, he decides to pawn it to a magic ring seller in exchange for 5 rings with minor magic gems picked at random for the colours he liked. He doesn't know what each colour does before choosing. The GM allows this deal because choosing shiny rocks for their colour is perfectly in character for that guy. Once the deal is done, the shopkeeper explains what each stone does. 4 of them are one-shot elemental blasts that recharge over time. He puts them all on one fist to get a one-shot super punch...
The last one is a random portal ring. Creates a portal in front of him that sends whatever enters it to a random location around. He puts it on the major of his other hand. Calls it the FU ring.
End of the campaign is a boss fight against a dragon. Our bulky friend manages to land his super punch that does decent damage, but the dragon is far from dead. Dragon gets pissed off and tries to bite him. Critical fail at evasion, he gets swallowed whole. Struggles a bit inside the dragon, and out of options, decides to give the dragon's innard the bird to use his random teleportation ring.
From the outside, the rest of the party still fighting sees the dragon have some kind of a hiccup, and then slump on the ground, straight up dead. A few meters away, a portal appears in the air, and out of it fall the dragon's heart and a chunk of his left lung... A few minutes later, the half-dwarf half-troll managed to eat his way out of the dragon's entrails...
That was at the same time one of the most ridiculous and the most metal way I've ever seen a dragon get killed.
I take it his name was Thanos?
I once made a chicken leader of the guard with persuasion named Colonel Sanders. What was funny was it has to roll to see if true and got a natural 20. The chicken was actually a pretty good leader compared to the previous one we killed and it even led troops into battle successfully during the same session against a bandit attack on the town.
This is the content I’ve been waiting for...
just one entry in and i already want to try one of these ideas....
Happy that Sir Bearington and Los Tiburones was here but you missed the one of the fucking Bard that beat death to get a flute.
Lugia21 is there a link to the bard Story?
I need this story in my life
puu.sh/zPuMl/3bfe6a11c4.jpg
That shit fake af, tho. rolling 125 with an exploding D6 after two nat20s in a row? yeah right...
welp I had a player who rolled 3 nat20s in a row whitch is 1:8000 sooo thats up there as well but I saw that shit happen
Lute*
Here's a tale for you all.
>Be me.
>Pick half Orc with a spear.
>Eventually upgrade to a cast iron javelin.
>Find thick chain and attach to said javelin (half Orcs are proficient with chain weapons.)
>Buy boat.
>Sail out.
>Battle giant albino shark and bring it to island.
>Have an old sailor captain comment on your skills and get invited on ship.
>Once gained trust kill old captain and assert dominance amongst the crew.
>Upgrade chain to a 20 foot cast iron chain capable of holding down massive creatures.
>Become the greatest hunter that ever lived (eventually got a peg leg too.).
"He's a chicken I tell ya, a giant chicken!"
The one about the gay bomb made me cry with laughter
That shield story was fucking fantastic
Alright, let's math this. To fit into an extremely tight space, you need to beat a DC of 80. Let's assume the rogue is the bare minimum level for epic, 21, and go from there.
Max possible escape artist rank: 24
Max possible base DEX score, assuming nothing else is boosting it: 25, a +7 modifier
Gloves of dexterity +6: +3 to DEX modifier
Assuming he is wearing greater slick armor of boneless leather: +15 competence bonus to Escape Artist, +5 circumstance bonus to Escape Artist
Agile: +2 to Escape Artist.
Baalzebul Brand (Fiendish Codex 2): +4 to Escape Artist (untyped)
Ring of the Octopus (Far Corners Of the World): +10 to Escape Artist (untyped)
Silver Key of Portals (Epic Level Handbook): +30 to Escape Artist (insight)
Slippery (Unearthed Arcana): +1 to Escape Artist (untyped)
Skinny (Unearthed Arcana): +1 to Escape Artist (untyped)
Total: 102
Yeah, if he has the Silver Key of Portals, nothing short of a really bad roll is squeezing him out of that.
the chaotic evil bard, fucking amazing
Last one had me in tears.
that bear story was fucking incredible
The chaotic evil bard was my like lawful evil.
11:32 THE PIC FOR SHADS CHANNEL IS PERFECT FOR THIS BC IT LOOKS LIKE ITS JUST LIKE "ah! what a fine car!"
Ok that bear spy was pretty good.
I'm actually friends with the guy that played Los Tiburon. Great guy, and yes he still plays grapple monks in 5e. Yes, he also makes the DMs sigh in frustration as he breaks their well laid plans
“And that’s how you play chaotic evil”
Nope... manipulating guards to do your bidding is actually lawful evil
Lying to authorities is illegal, therefore chaotic evil.
the last oone got me good for some reason. and Los Tiburon is something i need to copy
These were awesome XD
"roll for intimidation" i fucking lost it.
thid actually awesome bro.
>fighter picks up shield
>"neat!"
Amazing fucking Anchor story. xD
Someone did the Wrestling better.But the bard story was just classic. You get 2 internet cookies.
So, apparently a halfling is the size of a pixie faerie.
...these stories...are...just...awesome.
I don't know which I love more, dragon body slam or Sir Bearington.
>D&D stories
>Pathfinder art in the thumbnail
Kek
the chaotic evil bard is the fucking best
IDIOTIC IDEA:
>you and a friend both play a wizard
>both pick up glyph of warding
>reach level 17
>pick up true polymorph
>find BBEG's home/crypt/castle/dungeon
>have your friend put a glyph using a 9th level spell slot In the BBEG's bedroom
>load the glyph with a true polymorph spell
>hide
>wait for BBEG to trigger it
>LAUGH AS BBEG PERMANENTLY POLYMORPHS INTO AN ANT
what do you think of my crazy idea?
I need more of this
lowkey chaotic evil bard
ABSOLUTE FUCKIN GENIUS.
also, the lucha dragonslayer and ser Bearington.
classic.
Class
Pls more parts very exciting
I love stories from people who never play the game cause they have no friends.
I'm dead inside.
godspeed brother
Y'know my group at one time had this whole Power Rangers theme going, no evil, no chaos, no neutral, only good guys.
It was at the set of the kids show.
And our DM went with it. Much fun was had.
So one of my fellow players decided to be sneaky and become evil, chaotic evil and, decided to cite the rules for the Mhatma-Ghandi-pacifist+X-Bug.
Our DM wouldn't want to do this, but still said okay. And not informed the other players.
So, we were right in a rather extended Quest/Season and Dude... lets call him Ranger Black just started to fkk with other peoples shit, like burning the text for the next episode, tampering with the coffee machine so it goes boom (it just catched fire) and meddling with the props.
Turns out the Text was rigged by a hacker to get subliminal NSFW messages throu (some bull like innuendos and non-kid-friendly language), the coffee machine incident turned up more fire hazards at inspection and the props killed a stalker for our Pink Ranger...
He actually pouted as the DM told him, over the wall, that he wanted to have some fun too, as Ranger Black moaned about how difficult it is to be evil.
That bear disguise one, Lmao
The words are already there for ya, just read em, other Channels that just do reads read it themselves and that's barely enough to keep me watching them and not go to the subreddits, you got my support if you try to read it
The disguised bear reminds me of the chicken joke from the warner bros.
"Gotta smite them evil dickheads" xD
I had no idea what the fuck was happening
That's silly. The shield would have detected evil.
A friend of my actually did the bear thing for our campaign
a friend of mine did it in real life
these were incredible
Holy fuck this is one of the funniest shit ive ever seen
That bear one is amazing
NIGHTCALL I LOVE THAT SONG
that jewbomb story is just cringey, I'm amazed people find that kind of stuff funny
Doctor Stinger yeah that one was just... bad
4chan
Yeah, I know why they want to rebel and find it that going against a moral baseline is the best way to get attention. I found it stupid even when I found myself doing the same type of shit. But actually confusing that with funny, that is worrying.
>goes onto a green text video on a channel named shadily
>acts all high and mighty when people make Jewish and gay jokes
Gtfo
IMO it’s only funny because meat dimension and meat god.