Small correction: Stephen Covey wrote, “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”. Not Wayne Dyer. As another commenter put it who pointed it out: both are bald, so honest mistake.
The 23-year-olds think they have it figured out and present that image to you on your social media feed. But when the curtains close, the moon rises, and they lie awake staring at their ceilings like everyone else...they find themselves just as confused as the rest of us. @@brianmeen2158
Everytime I hear the word self-help I'm reminded of George Carlin joking about it by saying something akin to "How is it self-help if you're going to someone else for help?" That isn't self-help, it's help.
Probably because even after going to hear the information Don someone else, it’s still up to the individual to do the work. You can go to every self help seminar on the planet but if you don’t execute, did you really get helped? You definitely didn’t help yourself.
Everyone has missed the true context on “self help”, even wise ol’ George. If it were more honest, it’d be called “self serving”, and it isn’t you who’s enriching themselves from it…..😑
You got it wrong. He said there is no such thing as "self-help", if you did it yourself, you didn't need help. Or maybe there was a different version he said as well, idk. He most likely said both.
My problem with a lot of self-help books is that they are about conformity. Society is never the problem; you’re the problem, and in order to succeed in life, you must give up your individuality and conform to what people expect of you. I think they have this message because it’s easier to change yourself than society. To me, a good self-help book will teach you how to succeed in spite of society. They should be about finding your true self, not what people want you to be.
@@ColeHastings I’m referring to books that, for example, say that if you want to be successful with women, you have to act like a jerk and play mental games. If you want to write a successful book, you must follow the trends and cater to the lowest common denominator. Many self-help books are like that.
Ahh yeah I see. I’m a fan of the opposite as well. It’s like I said in a previous video: the best self help content isn’t the content that gives you the answers. It’s the content that gives you the tools to find your own answers.
And what makes me scoff at these self-help gurus is lately they blame the algorithm. While YT might contribute a small amount of why self-help is in decline at the end of the day the content and ideas suck. Self-help peaked from 2014-2018. It had a slight dip in 2019 but when Covid lockdown happened self-help artificially inflated the views of self-help content. But since 2023 self-help YTbers have very inconsistent views on their channels now. Compare the self-space to other parts of YT. Other YTbers have consistent views for years. So clearly self-help is the problem; not the algorithm. At the end of the day people realize this means to an end, self-help, doesn't actually give you help. As for myself I'm happy to improve myself without self-improvement. The two ideas should not be falsely conflated.
As somebody who lost herself for a sec in this self help environment I want you to know this: You will never reach perfection. Life is about constantly learning and succeeding and learning again. Your time on earth is temporary. Improving oneself does not have a final destination. So get off social media for a sec, think about what really matters to you, live by your own standards, just start without reading too much about how and what and just do the thing. You might not get the expected results in the beginning but you learn through ecperience and enjoy the process❤
Really well said! Self-help was helpful for me to some degree. Some habits I still keep to this day, and it taught me to have more positive focus on my true goals. But it indeed is like a curve, or an equation that keeps approaching perfection, but never reaches it. Easy to get hooked on the ideas and forget that improvement is meant to help one to live well. It's not just an end to itself.
“So get off social media” We should all do more of this. We’ve all watched probably 100 videos similar to this so why do we do it? I honestly don’t know at this point Oh and folks need to go outside and move around more. Folks don’t do enough of that
Self help is supposed to be advice given from a person who genuinely wants to see people do better. When you take that and attempt to monetize it to live a flashy lifestyle, thats when you start building a house of cards. Eventually, through your own content, people will start to pick up on you and what you're really about.
I have had ocd, anxiety and panic for all my 48 years on Earth. I’ve tried tons of books, courses, etc snd came a Ross a video on here that really struck my nerve. So of course I begin watching all of this person’s content and one day I decide to do an inquiry about their program. It was crazy how expensive (thousands of dollars), it was high pressure sales tactic to get me into the program with relentless emails and phone calls. Finally I firmly told them to stop calling or I will blast them with negative reviews. So much of these programs will only hurt the seekers more because of the financial burden. I found for myself that meditation, exercise and acceptance are the biggest helpers.
As someone who loves the idea of self help content but always gets weird feelings about some of these gurus, thank you for having this conversation. It’s nice to learn the lessons but you can learn them for free. New subscriber!
Genuine well written essay. I can see you've put alot of thought into it. At the end of the day, being genuine comes a long way and matters way more for each individual to be better i think.
I really suggest that young people move abroad and disconnect from SM. Preferably to a middle oe low income country. I was a peace corps volunteer from 2007-09, and also lived abroad from 2013-2014. Even that small amount of time tuned me out from all this internet nonsense and I spent my time learning real life defining lessons. I watch videos like this and feel like I completely missed alot of internet eras, fads and I'm so happy about it.
One of my favorite quotes goes roughly like this: “The reasonable man conforms to society. The unreasonable man insists that society conforms to him. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.” I can’t remember who said that unfortunately, but I think it’s a great way to express my idea on who people should be. We can’t have everyone be conformists or everyone be anti-status quo, we need a mix of both for society to function properly. In terms of self improvement you can’t have a goal provided for you by society, you need to take your base desires and your vision of yourself and make it real. But that doesn’t mean you have to abandon the path that your life laid out for you, it just means you need to make your life the best it can be in that scenario. It can be as simple as mastering a hobby or as big as inventing a new energy source, but it starts and ends with you, and that’s a great thing.
Every Hamza video can be summed up as: - Don't play video games - Don't watch p*-n -Go to the gym - Work on your project/ grind Not bad advice, but nothing you can't get from somewhere else and not something you need to spend £ thousands on
@iainthomas7092 exactly, the first point is actively bad advice honestly, because, while a lott of people DO use gaming as escapism which is not good, the majority enjoy gaming as one of their hobbies because they enjoy it, simple. So overall im basically saying i hate the narrative "gaming is bad and you should stop" when its simply a different medium from live acting, animation, books etc, that people can choose to get into and genuinely enjoy it
@@jusatesst yes, it's a nuance thing (which Hamza lacks). If you play games all the time, it's not a good thing but absolutely nothing wrong with any hobby in moderation. I don't game that much anymore but I don't knock it
If you dont connect with real people in the real world and stay on social media you will not get out of this rut. Seriously. Go out and socialize. You will learn a lot about people eapecially that everyone is struggeling with something. The pandemic definitely caused the rise of self help because we were all isolated and started looking for something to fix about ourselves that was never even broken in the first place. We are all imperfect humans just as we should be
For me personally I would take what sounds good to me from self help and apply it and if it doesn’t work. Try again or learn something new and go about in my life. Not all 9-5 jobs are bad, I’m grateful to have a job 😊
I completely agree with you-it's ridiculous how some creators prioritize sales over the growth and well-being of their clients. Instead of checking in with questions like, "How is your progress?" they bombard people with texts and emails trying to sell products. This is especially prevalent in the Spanish community, where some creators use belittling language, referring to their audience as "mediocre." It's disheartening that many people accept this treatment. What’s worse is that when we try to support one another or call out this behavior, it seems to upset them. Thank you for addressing this issue.
Well if you have a large customer base it would be impossible to try and gauge how individuals are doing and then trying to tweak your system to better suit them. I think any creator that did this would end up exhausting themselves and hurt their business .. I guess it depends on how big you are and how many customers you have Once these creators set up a business and team around to support it - they must focus on profit to keep the machine going.
@@brianmeen2158 I believe that businesses with large customer bases already generate sufficient revenue to hire staff dedicated to customer care. Ultimately, investing in client support is crucial for retaining customers and delivering on product promises. It seems there is a need for increased investment in customer care.
I think that some people really do get into the self help community with good intentions, can’t speak for all of them. But I think along the way it becomes a job to some, a commitment. Eventually it’s not even about helping people or making a difference in the world. It just becomes about keeping those numbers up, growing a brand or a business, making money. The second you stop seeing it as just a way to help people, the second you start opening yourself up to dangerous possibilities.
Thanks! The information you just presented correlates with who I am as a human being and how I feel. That’s where the true understanding happens when you do genuine acts and make genuine choices. You create genuine relationships that create genuine feelings. Really your whole video is.. we’ve been, being manipulated to be good and do good and how we feel what is good and better instead of doing good to do good for the meaning of good without having to be told to do so? I feel your sincerity and I appreciate the courage to share the unspeakable thing you try to say.
@ well it’s always interesting to listen to you because it is the feelings that I have inside that really, we are growing up as humanity goes along in time and that’s what we’re all going through. it’s not about a magical secret that will save us that costs money.
The thing that helped me the most in 2023 and 2024 was ‘Ask your heart’. I check in daily with my body, checking it’s feedback and see of the things I do are okay for me. It saves a lot of thinking and it gives me better quality of life. I love this sentence from the book Mary Magdalene revealed by Meggan Watterson: “…. beginning to understand that no matter how many (sacred) texts I read, I will never learn more than when I’m able to just be fully present in my body.” I sold quite an amount of books after reading that, because I just no longer felt like reading them (again), and just wanna sit and live in peace, drinking my tea, doing work and household keeping at the pace that is healthy for me. I feel like that will bring things in my life that fits my body, and not my overactive and loud mind/ego 😇😁 This afternoon I will pick up another book at the local bookstore tho: Zen - The Art of Simple Living by Shunmyō Masuno. I am curious to see if it will bring me ‘value’ :) And, thanks for this video, Cole! 💚
Dude. Thank you. As someone who consumes all this type of content, I was starting to feel like everything I was hearing was the same thing over and over again. Why was I watching hours of content and never learning anything new? Why does it all start to feel so…surface level?
This is why I love motivational speakers like Eddie Pinero. He doesn't tell you to "wake up at 5 am" or "buy groceries for a random granny." He usually tells you his experiences or stories that has helped him to get to where he is today
This video remembered me that I like your videos lol At a certain point I no longer needed self-help videos, since I was and am doing good But I like your commentary, I will watch more
My self help binge was a journey. I had no confidence to judge what I'm being told, and at the same time, I felt like none of the stories being told really reflected how I thought, felt, and lived. So I'm the outcast. I'm sorry I don't have the money to go out of country and sit under waterfalls. I couldn't stand all the macho videos telling me to be alone, to not need anyone. I realized the self help scene is far from infallable. I started taking a bit of confidence in what I believe in and bring my own flare and perspective where noone else has it.
The Buddha himself stressed at multiple points that it is upon the individual to save themselves. "Seek refuge in yourself only." As for appraising gurus he advised to look at their integrity, their response to being challenged and their track record and to never suspend critical evaluation
I got an ad for a screen control app, i only got 75 winter, fall, spring, and summer. This means you have me here with you viewing your content for a relative segment of existence. Hope it’s worth it
Shysters. Greed always comes into play. It all comes down to you will reap some of what you sow (very hard consistent work over time - elbow grease), and happenstance. Born in the wrong environment at the wrong time, good luck, you’re going to need it.
Dear Cole, not only you are a model self-help, but you also have a unique way of bringing to light the truth (and ONLY the TRUTH). Thank you for uploading your essays and may you always live the life you wish for! xoxo from Athens-Greece 💯👏👏👏💝🥂🍾💪
Great video Cole! you have been probably the most practical out of all the self-improvement youtubers I have seen with your practical takes and actually give people a proper plan to go ahead to fix their lives. But unfortunately, its not truth and facts that sell, its appearances, money, and deceit that attracts attention and I am ashamed to say even I am a victim of this pathetic cycle. Edit: I have gotten into anime decently and I do not know how you like Berserk. I'm going to be honest, learning about the Eclipse was the most traumatic thing I ever heard(idk if this is a spoiler warning but I dont think I said what happened, just how I felt). Overall, I will probably never get into it but I first heard about it from you so thats why I wanted to say my opinion.
@@ColeHastings ya I think I do feel some comfort from knowing it can exist as I feel like those types of stories I feel I come up with(not like parts with eclipse) but of similar nature. But I see a lot of people who praise it for Guts being a good human
There is a difference between genuine education and people who just read a few books, repackage it and have the guts to sell a dream and charge a fortune.
Hello, Cole you probably won't even read this but I'm one of the many tiny "self-help" creators on YT. I pulled myself out of 2 depressions and years for loneliness that almost drove me to meds or the nose and now I'm very happily married and a new father. I think my story can help people in similar straits as I was, but honestly I'm not even sure if there is anyone who will spare the time to hear it. It's kinda funny how easy can be to help someone in person, but a video to do something similar is almost beyond me. Well anyway I've been struggling with this topic quite a bit and any wisdom would be greatly appreaciated, other than that I loved the video, great job.
Good thoughts in this video! what I have learned over the years of self help is that you don't need a guru or to be your own guru, you just need Jesus! All the self help practice is worked for a while until they didn't anymore! Jesus is the only way!
I am not actually attracted to the so-called “self-help” of this channel. I just like listening to your voice. 😅😅. I am trying to emulate yours and SavageBooks way of speaking that is calm, collected, clean, and clear. It worker for me.
Awesome story telling here, Cole! It was interesting seeing the whole history of this space. It’s definitely changing for the better, though. It was time for things to move at a slower, more thoughtful pace. I for one am excited about what the future of self improvement holds!🙏🏽
I just happened upon your video and found it very interesting. I especially liked the part about being a lifelong learner. Perhaps if more people approached personal growth with that attitude, they would naturally possess a healthy dose of educated skepticism to do their own research to discern fact from fiction. We need to be our own gurus. 🌞
The If Books Could Kill podcast did an episode on the 4 hour work week and it’s really interesting when you break it down. The guy really tried to outsource his therapy sessions lol They also did the Secret. I highly recommend it. It’s a fun listen
at some point you gotta get out and start living. I had a hell of a year actually being a participant in my life. healing and self help is good and all, but never let it stop you from actually living
Just found your channel today. Great video, well written, nicely produced, and kept my attention. Excellent voice for video! Keep up the good work. Subscription earned! 👍
I read that carnegie book multiple times, between my teenage years till my early 30s. 1st time read: "wow this book is amazing & insightful!". last time read: "so basically you have to be a doormat?"
Good timing, The past year I have been very sick of the business guru's and podcasts. Just all the same crap being repackaged. Most look like they have money because they are selling you their secret... 🤣
Great video, but I disagree with the end. A licensed therapist is just as much of a scam and a waste of money as a guru because you can’t gain wisdom by reading Freud and getting a phd. Real wisdom comes from living, failing and learning.
Sure, you are right about how you gain wisdom. But therapists are not trained to deliver wisdom. They are trained in helping you mentally and emotionally process things and to find strategies for coping with whatever your situation is, which is often very technical. They're actually extremely valuable skills that some may pick up on their own along with wisdom, but many people don't.
One thing I learned about having personal friends that are trained to help people, including a few therapists, it’s that nobody really has it all figured out. We just gotta be there for our community and help with solutions when we can!
@@bennablementsand to piggy back off of what you said… my therapist friends may not have it alllll figured out but their advise based off what they’ve learned has been valuable!
Imagine being able to figure out life all on your own...with your own experiences, knowledge and wisdom? It can be done. Self-help "gurus " are a symptom of a much greater sickness: The crisis of the authentic self, in response to a pathologically ill post-modern world.
“The Secret” is a marketed re-hash of a number of publications originally derived from “The Kybalion” published in 1908 by an anonymous group called The Three Initiates. The Kybalion was an interpretation of The Emerald Tablet of Hermes discovered in the 8th Century AD. So, let’s all become enlightened and immortal by consuming pee. 😂
I had like twenty minutes worth of filler words and paragraphs about my exaggerated life’s plight as a fifteen year old but. My main thing is: “I just want to be happy”. Now, how do I do that? Changing my environment, There’s so much I want to do… even now, but I can’t be consistent or even care if my environment has the same mundane and overall oppressive feeling every time I wake up. And it does us no good if we only find comfort by ourselves at night. (I wanted to get something out but like I said I got way too whiny and well… “complainative”. And for the sake of anonymity and self-respect, I deleted it all.)
Crazy good video, I've been following self help stuff for 15 years and I see myself in your perception of the whole industry. Also I would have never guessed you were a deep diver x) Love Ralph even if I don't watch much from him since he went very deep into a niche that I'm not in but when I want peeeeace I listen to him.
Gary vee and Tony had some good tips that helped. It becomes a big issue when it comes to relying on these “gurus” when it comes to daily motivation to get shit done. You’ll end up deep in the sales funnel.
Most are terrible but I’ve learned a lot from Brandon Carter. Helped me learn how to plan my day to get money, dedicate time to family and rewire my mind to enjoy working and earning.
I watched a ton of self improvement content for many years and in the end I felt bitter towards it, because after learning alot of how the brain works, I realized how little free will there is and then the contempt for regular people preached by every second self improvement youtuber is just totally unjustified, I also started questioning alot of the things they taught for example semen retention and I came to the conclusion that alot of things that the self improvement world basically has consensus on is just a myth and doesnt actually improve your life. I am infact bitter towards it, especially when you know these "salesman tricks" like creating fear or making them feel low about themselves and its soo ridiculously obvious how they exploit it when they say if you make less than 100k amonth youre broke or "You need to panic now if youre not rich yet" But I still do alot of the self improvement things but now the ones I actually believe in such as good diet and good sleep
This is why I like Mark Manson: his "self help", "the art of not giving a F**k", he is honest that you most likely will not a "world famous person" but if you accept the fact you are average and ok with it, that is fine.
Thank You Cloe, this video is once of my favourite. This right here is a job well done 👍. I like the Editing, any recommendations on freelance video editors ?
Warren buffet said the best investment he made was a $20 public speaking course by Dale Carnegie. Dale Carnegie has taught me some paradigm shifting lessons through his books and way with words.
In the end tho i think its done more good than bad, but ive never seen a video quite like this interesting informative and very eye opening Great job Cole
I know a few people that eat this shit up. It's not even that the advise is bad. But these people pay money to attend these seminars every year. It like "did you sleep through the first one? Did you not take notes? What could possibility be new advice this time around?"
You can absorb all the simple lessons of self-help in a day, but it takes a lifetime to understand the nuance necessary to build sympathy for others. You have always had the compassion to help your community and build a better place, so go out there and do it. You never know who else is out there doing the same thing unless you put in the effort others are afraid to exercise.
A relative of mine was into this self help, repetitive affirmation, law of attraction woo woo nonsense. She was the most unpleasant person to be with. Bad behaviour, big talking, dishonest behaviour, hypocritical, negative attitude, narcissistic behaviour looking for people to follow her
How to Get Anything You Want by Elsie Lincoln Benedict is one of the best in this sphere. She taught that your predominant moods make your life. How optimism is better than pessimism and that you haven't failed as long as you don't give up. She was doing this decades before Hill and Carnegi.
Small correction: Stephen Covey wrote, “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”. Not Wayne Dyer.
As another commenter put it who pointed it out: both are bald, so honest mistake.
Both are bald 😆
“Sorry, you all look the same to me…”
Stephen "R." Covey
Good book. My dog enjoyed eating it. 😂
Well, L Ron Hubbard also was considered by some, to be a self help guru.
One of the greatest realizations you can possibly have is that no one has life all figured out.
Absolutely. It’s reassuring but also eye opening.
I know a few very bright people in their late 40s that are more confused now than they’ve ever been. Yet many 23 year olds have it all figured out 😭
Deep! A great reminder sir! :)
@@brianmeen2158 We knew it on the beggining of our lifes. It was the point where we knew for sure that we know nothing.
The 23-year-olds think they have it figured out and present that image to you on your social media feed. But when the curtains close, the moon rises, and they lie awake staring at their ceilings like everyone else...they find themselves just as confused as the rest of us. @@brianmeen2158
“Absorb what is useful, discard what is not, add what is uniquely your own” - Bruce Lee
hey thats what i do
Funny how this needs to be said
exactly what i do
Wise words.
@@yongkysiaw6597you’re forgetting how easy and often it is that someone is conned in this space today.
Everytime I hear the word self-help I'm reminded of George Carlin joking about it by saying something akin to "How is it self-help if you're going to someone else for help?" That isn't self-help, it's help.
he was the best ever
Probably because even after going to hear the information Don someone else, it’s still up to the individual to do the work. You can go to every self help seminar on the planet but if you don’t execute, did you really get helped? You definitely didn’t help yourself.
Everyone has missed the true context on “self help”, even wise ol’ George. If it were more honest, it’d be called “self serving”, and it isn’t you who’s enriching themselves from it…..😑
It lets people trick themselves into believing they're not asking for help.
You got it wrong.
He said there is no such thing as "self-help", if you did it yourself, you didn't need help.
Or maybe there was a different version he said as well, idk. He most likely said both.
My problem with a lot of self-help books is that they are about conformity. Society is never the problem; you’re the problem, and in order to succeed in life, you must give up your individuality and conform to what people expect of you. I think they have this message because it’s easier to change yourself than society. To me, a good self-help book will teach you how to succeed in spite of society. They should be about finding your true self, not what people want you to be.
To really succeed as yourself, with the amazing things YOU bring
Interesting cause just about every self help book I’ve read is about how to succeed in spite of society
@@ColeHastings I’m referring to books that, for example, say that if you want to be successful with women, you have to act like a jerk and play mental games. If you want to write a successful book, you must follow the trends and cater to the lowest common denominator. Many self-help books are like that.
Ahh yeah I see. I’m a fan of the opposite as well.
It’s like I said in a previous video: the best self help content isn’t the content that gives you the answers. It’s the content that gives you the tools to find your own answers.
And what makes me scoff at these self-help gurus is lately they blame the algorithm. While YT might contribute a small amount of why self-help is in decline at the end of the day the content and ideas suck. Self-help peaked from 2014-2018. It had a slight dip in 2019 but when Covid lockdown happened self-help artificially inflated the views of self-help content. But since 2023 self-help YTbers have very inconsistent views on their channels now.
Compare the self-space to other parts of YT. Other YTbers have consistent views for years. So clearly self-help is the problem; not the algorithm. At the end of the day people realize this means to an end, self-help, doesn't actually give you help.
As for myself I'm happy to improve myself without self-improvement. The two ideas should not be falsely conflated.
The secret to success is convincing people that you have the secret to success and selling it to them.
Getting an ad for "Real Help" while watching this video was a good laugh this morning.
Disgusting
As somebody who lost herself for a sec in this self help environment I want you to know this:
You will never reach perfection. Life is about constantly learning and succeeding and learning again. Your time on earth is temporary. Improving oneself does not have a final destination. So get off social media for a sec, think about what really matters to you, live by your own standards, just start without reading too much about how and what and just do the thing. You might not get the expected results in the beginning but you learn through ecperience and enjoy the process❤
Really well said!
Self-help was helpful for me to some degree. Some habits I still keep to this day, and it taught me to have more positive focus on my true goals.
But it indeed is like a curve, or an equation that keeps approaching perfection, but never reaches it. Easy to get hooked on the ideas and forget that improvement is meant to help one to live well. It's not just an end to itself.
Shes trying to write self help now
Lottta wasted time @@rinishan
“So get off social media”
We should all do more of this. We’ve all watched probably 100 videos similar to this so why do we do it? I honestly don’t know at this point
Oh and folks need to go outside and move around more. Folks don’t do enough of that
That hasn't been my experience! Been to college and all and got certified in a field and then had to do another job in another field for less money.
Self help is supposed to be advice given from a person who genuinely wants to see people do better. When you take that and attempt to monetize it to live a flashy lifestyle, thats when you start building a house of cards. Eventually, through your own content, people will start to pick up on you and what you're really about.
Absolutely retarded take, holy shit. Couldnt be more wrong.
Beware the advice of the successful, they do not crave competition
Exactly
Depends. Successful family for example will gladly help and pull you up in most cases.
Will keep note of your comment, very paramount,
I have had ocd, anxiety and panic for all my 48 years on Earth. I’ve tried tons of books, courses, etc snd came a Ross a video on here that really struck my nerve. So of course I begin watching all of this person’s content and one day I decide to do an inquiry about their program. It was crazy how expensive (thousands of dollars), it was high pressure sales tactic to get me into the program with relentless emails and phone calls. Finally I firmly told them to stop calling or I will blast them with negative reviews. So much of these programs will only hurt the seekers more because of the financial burden. I found for myself that meditation, exercise and acceptance are the biggest helpers.
Hey I recommend the book Medical Medium Brain Saver. Good luck!
I recommend seeking Jesus Christ :D
As someone who loves the idea of self help content but always gets weird feelings about some of these gurus, thank you for having this conversation. It’s nice to learn the lessons but you can learn them for free. New subscriber!
This is one of the most concise, honest, and well-researched video essays on UA-cam I’ve viewed in a while. Tremendous work, Cole!
Genuine well written essay. I can see you've put alot of thought into it. At the end of the day, being genuine comes a long way and matters way more for each individual to be better i think.
Wow. this was an incredible video Cole. One of my favorites of the whole year. much love
Thanks Will!
I really suggest that young people move abroad and disconnect from SM. Preferably to a middle oe low income country. I was a peace corps volunteer from 2007-09, and also lived abroad from 2013-2014. Even that small amount of time tuned me out from all this internet nonsense and I spent my time learning real life defining lessons. I watch videos like this and feel like I completely missed alot of internet eras, fads and I'm so happy about it.
One of my favorite quotes goes roughly like this: “The reasonable man conforms to society. The unreasonable man insists that society conforms to him. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.”
I can’t remember who said that unfortunately, but I think it’s a great way to express my idea on who people should be. We can’t have everyone be conformists or everyone be anti-status quo, we need a mix of both for society to function properly.
In terms of self improvement you can’t have a goal provided for you by society, you need to take your base desires and your vision of yourself and make it real. But that doesn’t mean you have to abandon the path that your life laid out for you, it just means you need to make your life the best it can be in that scenario. It can be as simple as mastering a hobby or as big as inventing a new energy source, but it starts and ends with you, and that’s a great thing.
Reminds me of a saying I’ve heard as a lawyer. A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer changes it.
George Bernard Shaw
The trend went down because of the pandemic. Telling people to be a go getter and simply think positively comes off as tone deaf now
"Do the work." Never been a more profitable slogan.
Someone send this video to Hamza please...
The bath robe man
Every Hamza video can be summed up as:
- Don't play video games
- Don't watch p*-n
-Go to the gym
- Work on your project/ grind
Not bad advice, but nothing you can't get from somewhere else and not something you need to spend £ thousands on
@iainthomas7092 exactly, the first point is actively bad advice honestly, because, while a lott of people DO use gaming as escapism which is not good, the majority enjoy gaming as one of their hobbies because they enjoy it, simple. So overall im basically saying i hate the narrative "gaming is bad and you should stop" when its simply a different medium from live acting, animation, books etc, that people can choose to get into and genuinely enjoy it
@@iainthomas7092 he is cringe, repetitive and relies on a cult-like following to make money
@@jusatesst yes, it's a nuance thing (which Hamza lacks). If you play games all the time, it's not a good thing but absolutely nothing wrong with any hobby in moderation.
I don't game that much anymore but I don't knock it
If you dont connect with real people in the real world and stay on social media you will not get out of this rut. Seriously. Go out and socialize. You will learn a lot about people eapecially that everyone is struggeling with something. The pandemic definitely caused the rise of self help because we were all isolated and started looking for something to fix about ourselves that was never even broken in the first place. We are all imperfect humans just as we should be
We should strive for perfection.
@@thewolf9851 we should strive for progress not perfection
@Nisan-v6h We should make progress while striving for perfection.
Imperfection is perfection
@@thewolf9851lol most folks don’t exercise nor try to improve their social skills but they expect to strive for perfection by watching UA-cam all day
This is amazing. A self help history crash course is sth I need but never knew I needed it
Thank you! Glad you liked the format
For me personally I would take what sounds good to me from self help and apply it and if it doesn’t work. Try again or learn something new and go about in my life. Not all 9-5 jobs are bad, I’m grateful to have a job 😊
Its a lot of wasted time and helps these rejects get rich
I completely agree with you-it's ridiculous how some creators prioritize sales over the growth and well-being of their clients. Instead of checking in with questions like, "How is your progress?" they bombard people with texts and emails trying to sell products. This is especially prevalent in the Spanish community, where some creators use belittling language, referring to their audience as "mediocre." It's disheartening that many people accept this treatment. What’s worse is that when we try to support one another or call out this behavior, it seems to upset them. Thank you for addressing this issue.
Well if you have a large customer base it would be impossible to try and gauge how individuals are doing and then trying to tweak your system to better suit them. I think any creator that did this would end up exhausting themselves and hurt their business .. I guess it depends on how big you are and how many customers you have
Once these creators set up a business and team around to support it - they must focus on profit to keep the machine going.
@@brianmeen2158 I believe that businesses with large customer bases already generate sufficient revenue to hire staff dedicated to customer care. Ultimately, investing in client support is crucial for retaining customers and delivering on product promises. It seems there is a need for increased investment in customer care.
I think that some people really do get into the self help community with good intentions, can’t speak for all of them. But I think along the way it becomes a job to some, a commitment. Eventually it’s not even about helping people or making a difference in the world. It just becomes about keeping those numbers up, growing a brand or a business, making money. The second you stop seeing it as just a way to help people, the second you start opening yourself up to dangerous possibilities.
Thanks! The information you just presented correlates with who I am as a human being and how I feel. That’s where the true understanding happens when you do genuine acts and make genuine choices. You create genuine relationships that create genuine feelings. Really your whole video is.. we’ve been, being manipulated to be good and do good and how we feel what is good and better instead of doing good to do good for the meaning of good without having to be told to do so? I feel your sincerity and I appreciate the courage to share the unspeakable thing you try to say.
Really grateful for the comment and the donation. Let’s keep spreading authenticity.
@ well it’s always interesting to listen to you because it is the feelings that I have inside that really, we are growing up as humanity goes along in time and that’s what we’re all going through. it’s not about a magical secret that will save us that costs money.
Very good analysis of the whole self help field . I think you are also correct on the direction the field is now taking.
The thing that helped me the most in 2023 and 2024 was ‘Ask your heart’. I check in daily with my body, checking it’s feedback and see of the things I do are okay for me. It saves a lot of thinking and it gives me better quality of life. I love this sentence from the book Mary Magdalene revealed by Meggan Watterson: “…. beginning to understand that no matter how many (sacred) texts I read, I will never learn more than when I’m able to just be fully present in my body.” I sold quite an amount of books after reading that, because I just no longer felt like reading them (again), and just wanna sit and live in peace, drinking my tea, doing work and household keeping at the pace that is healthy for me. I feel like that will bring things in my life that fits my body, and not my overactive and loud mind/ego 😇😁 This afternoon I will pick up another book at the local bookstore tho: Zen - The Art of Simple Living by Shunmyō Masuno. I am curious to see if it will bring me ‘value’ :) And, thanks for this video, Cole! 💚
Dude. Thank you. As someone who consumes all this type of content, I was starting to feel like everything I was hearing was the same thing over and over again. Why was I watching hours of content and never learning anything new? Why does it all start to feel so…surface level?
This is why I love motivational speakers like Eddie Pinero. He doesn't tell you to "wake up at 5 am" or "buy groceries for a random granny." He usually tells you his experiences or stories that has helped him to get to where he is today
Great video... should be a "must watch" before going down the self-help rabbit hole.
This video remembered me that I like your videos lol
At a certain point I no longer needed self-help videos, since I was and am doing good
But I like your commentary, I will watch more
That’s great to hear. Thank you for watching them
Bro I just got a grant cardoen ad of him in his swimming pool😂 I thought the audio was part of your vid at first
Incredible
I don't need self-help, I help myself. Great voice by the way.
Jordan Peterson is a walking random word generator 😂
Only for a half brain dude as you
Peterson discourse is deep and good
Been here since 2021💪🏻 life now is so much better than it was back then. I appreciate all your words of wisdom. It’s helped me tremendously.
Means a ton, dude! Thank you for still being here
My self help binge was a journey. I had no confidence to judge what I'm being told, and at the same time, I felt like none of the stories being told really reflected how I thought, felt, and lived. So I'm the outcast. I'm sorry I don't have the money to go out of country and sit under waterfalls. I couldn't stand all the macho videos telling me to be alone, to not need anyone. I realized the self help scene is far from infallable. I started taking a bit of confidence in what I believe in and bring my own flare and perspective where noone else has it.
The Buddha himself stressed at multiple points that it is upon the individual to save themselves. "Seek refuge in yourself only." As for appraising gurus he advised to look at their integrity, their response to being challenged and their track record and to never suspend critical evaluation
I got an ad for a screen control app, i only got 75 winter, fall, spring, and summer. This means you have me here with you viewing your content for a relative segment of existence. Hope it’s worth it
this was very interesting to watch, thank you!
Excellent video and I agree with your thoughts. Very well researched bro subscribed
Shysters. Greed always comes into play. It all comes down to you will reap some of what you sow (very hard consistent work over time - elbow grease), and happenstance. Born in the wrong environment at the wrong time, good luck, you’re going to need it.
Cole, well said. You’ve summed up what I’ve seen for months and thought for years. Insane demonization from gurus of anything that isn’t their plan
9:34 Yay!! Ralph Smart, I like him too 😊 his videos helped me get through a depressing period in my life.
The self help gurus need the most self help
Lol it's ironic isn't it
Oh yeah
No they don't 😂
If that’s so, then I’m guessing they helped you a lot then
They need their own advice. Should have called it other-help
Dear Cole, not only you are a model self-help, but you also have a unique way of bringing to light the truth (and ONLY the TRUTH). Thank you for uploading your essays and may you always live the life you wish for! xoxo from Athens-Greece 💯👏👏👏💝🥂🍾💪
Hope the same for you, Maria. Thank you
Great video Cole! you have been probably the most practical out of all the self-improvement youtubers I have seen with your practical takes and actually give people a proper plan to go ahead to fix their lives. But unfortunately, its not truth and facts that sell, its appearances, money, and deceit that attracts attention and I am ashamed to say even I am a victim of this pathetic cycle.
Edit: I have gotten into anime decently and I do not know how you like Berserk. I'm going to be honest, learning about the Eclipse was the most traumatic thing I ever heard(idk if this is a spoiler warning but I dont think I said what happened, just how I felt). Overall, I will probably never get into it but I first heard about it from you so thats why I wanted to say my opinion.
Berserk is definitely not for everyone. For me, it helped me persevere during a very difficult time
@@ColeHastings ya I think I do feel some comfort from knowing it can exist as I feel like those types of stories I feel I come up with(not like parts with eclipse) but of similar nature. But I see a lot of people who praise it for Guts being a good human
Cole is a real one 🔥 Always came across as way more genuine than nearly all the rest on this platform
There is a difference between genuine education and people who just read a few books, repackage it and have the guts to sell a dream and charge a fortune.
Well said
Hello, Cole you probably won't even read this but I'm one of the many tiny "self-help" creators on YT. I pulled myself out of 2 depressions and years for loneliness that almost drove me to meds or the nose and now I'm very happily married and a new father. I think my story can help people in similar straits as I was, but honestly I'm not even sure if there is anyone who will spare the time to hear it. It's kinda funny how easy can be to help someone in person, but a video to do something similar is almost beyond me. Well anyway I've been struggling with this topic quite a bit and any wisdom would be greatly appreaciated, other than that I loved the video, great job.
Good thoughts in this video! what I have learned over the years of self help is that you don't need a guru or to be your own guru, you just need Jesus! All the self help practice is worked for a while until they didn't anymore! Jesus is the only way!
I am not actually attracted to the so-called “self-help” of this channel. I just like listening to your voice. 😅😅. I am trying to emulate yours and SavageBooks way of speaking that is calm, collected, clean, and clear. It worker for me.
All anyone needs is an encouraging word. Self help gurus learned they could make money off that.
Love love love this video
Awesome story telling here, Cole! It was interesting seeing the whole history of this space. It’s definitely changing for the better, though. It was time for things to move at a slower, more thoughtful pace. I for one am excited about what the future of self improvement holds!🙏🏽
Me too. I like what we’re moving towards
I love this video. Thank you, Cole!
Thank you for watching
I just happened upon your video and found it very interesting. I especially liked the part about being a lifelong learner. Perhaps if more people approached personal growth with that attitude, they would naturally possess a healthy dose of educated skepticism to do their own research to discern fact from fiction. We need to be our own gurus. 🌞
A video like this would be great for the fitness industry.
Been following you since day one!
You have really helped me out and become a favorite of mine!
Thank you. Genuinely means a ton
The If Books Could Kill podcast did an episode on the 4 hour work week and it’s really interesting when you break it down. The guy really tried to outsource his therapy sessions lol
They also did the Secret. I highly recommend it. It’s a fun listen
Thanks for this recommendation!
at some point you gotta get out and start living. I had a hell of a year actually being a participant in my life. healing and self help is good and all, but never let it stop you from actually living
I love you, sharing your experience strength, and hope here. When the student is ready, the teacher appears my young friend.❤
Just found your channel today. Great video, well written, nicely produced, and kept my attention. Excellent voice for video! Keep up the good work. Subscription earned! 👍
I read that carnegie book multiple times, between my teenage years till my early 30s. 1st time read: "wow this book is amazing & insightful!". last time read: "so basically you have to be a doormat?"
This was awesome! Thanks Cole. 👍
Good timing, The past year I have been very sick of the business guru's and podcasts. Just all the same crap being repackaged. Most look like they have money because they are selling you their secret... 🤣
Always a quality video Cole, the industry is shifting and hopefully we can make a dent in it
Thanks James 🙏
The 4 hour work week was the very first book i read after high school. I was hooked after that.
Love you bro
Thanks for the video
Thanks for watching bro
YOOOOO RALPH!!!!! He was my first "online mentor" as well!! Thats so wild!
Had great videos back in 2017
Thank you for this fantastic video.
Great video, but I disagree with the end. A licensed therapist is just as much of a scam and a waste of money as a guru because you can’t gain wisdom by reading Freud and getting a phd. Real wisdom comes from living, failing and learning.
Sure, you are right about how you gain wisdom. But therapists are not trained to deliver wisdom. They are trained in helping you mentally and emotionally process things and to find strategies for coping with whatever your situation is, which is often very technical. They're actually extremely valuable skills that some may pick up on their own along with wisdom, but many people don't.
One thing I learned about having personal friends that are trained to help people, including a few therapists, it’s that nobody really has it all figured out. We just gotta be there for our community and help with solutions when we can!
@@bennablementsand to piggy back off of what you said… my therapist friends may not have it alllll figured out but their advise based off what they’ve learned has been valuable!
Great video!
Imagine being able to figure out life all on your own...with your own experiences, knowledge and wisdom? It can be done. Self-help "gurus " are a symptom of a much greater sickness: The crisis of the authentic self, in response to a pathologically ill post-modern world.
“The Secret” is a marketed re-hash of a number of publications originally derived from “The Kybalion” published in 1908 by an anonymous group called The Three Initiates. The Kybalion was an interpretation of The Emerald Tablet of Hermes discovered in the 8th Century AD. So, let’s all become enlightened and immortal by consuming pee. 😂
Really great video brother.
Wow. This video was really nice 👍
I had like twenty minutes worth of filler words and paragraphs about my exaggerated life’s plight as a fifteen year old but. My main thing is: “I just want to be happy”. Now, how do I do that? Changing my environment, There’s so much I want to do… even now, but I can’t be consistent or even care if my environment has the same mundane and overall oppressive feeling every time I wake up. And it does us no good if we only find comfort by ourselves at night.
(I wanted to get something out but like I said I got way too whiny and well… “complainative”. And for the sake of anonymity and self-respect, I deleted it all.)
Napoleon Hill's "Magic Ladder to Success" was actually enlightening. It helped connect all the dots. But, at the end of the day, it's you vs. you.
Just checking, how about that time let's check it out.
Checking the check time to check out
checkers
Now Tate In Prison learning how to Stay Alive in a Different Way! While Petersen is Learning how His Words Will Backfire on Clowns!
Crazy good video, I've been following self help stuff for 15 years and I see myself in your perception of the whole industry. Also I would have never guessed you were a deep diver x) Love Ralph even if I don't watch much from him since he went very deep into a niche that I'm not in but when I want peeeeace I listen to him.
Thank you!
Gary vee and Tony had some good tips that helped. It becomes a big issue when it comes to relying on these “gurus” when it comes to daily motivation to get shit done. You’ll end up deep in the sales funnel.
Most are terrible but I’ve learned a lot from Brandon Carter. Helped me learn how to plan my day to get money, dedicate time to family and rewire my mind to enjoy working and earning.
Another masterpiece from the GOAT 🐐
My guy 🙏
I watched a ton of self improvement content for many years and in the end I felt bitter towards it, because after learning alot of how the brain works, I realized how little free will there is and then the contempt for regular people preached by every second self improvement youtuber is just totally unjustified, I also started questioning alot of the things they taught for example semen retention and I came to the conclusion that alot of things that the self improvement world basically has consensus on is just a myth and doesnt actually improve your life.
I am infact bitter towards it, especially when you know these "salesman tricks" like creating fear or making them feel low about themselves and its soo ridiculously obvious how they exploit it when they say if you make less than 100k amonth youre broke or "You need to panic now if youre not rich yet"
But I still do alot of the self improvement things but now the ones I actually believe in such as good diet and good sleep
This is why I like Mark Manson: his "self help", "the art of not giving a F**k", he is honest that you most likely will not a "world famous person" but if you accept the fact you are average and ok with it, that is fine.
I’m trying to figure out the main point of this video. Can you sum it up in one thesis statement? Thanks!
Thank You Cloe, this video is once of my favourite. This right here is a job well done 👍. I like the Editing, any recommendations on freelance video editors ?
Warren buffet said the best investment he made was a $20 public speaking course by Dale Carnegie. Dale Carnegie has taught me some paradigm shifting lessons through his books and way with words.
Definitely. How to win friends and influence people helped me massively
This was a really good video.
The video marks your honesty
In the end tho i think its done more good than bad, but ive never seen a video quite like this interesting informative and very eye opening Great job Cole
I also think it’s done far more good than bad. This video was mostly focused on the critiques I have, which might make it seem like the opposite.
I learned a lot here! Thank you for bringing this to light even though your self-help stuff int he past was very cringe in the past.
This was perhaps one of the best videos you have made! Absolutely well done! Thank you
I know a few people that eat this shit up. It's not even that the advise is bad. But these people pay money to attend these seminars every year. It like "did you sleep through the first one? Did you not take notes? What could possibility be new advice this time around?"
Hit the nail right on the head man 💯
I discovered you in covid era. 😂😂😂😂 Irony.
You can absorb all the simple lessons of self-help in a day, but it takes a lifetime to understand the nuance necessary to build sympathy for others.
You have always had the compassion to help your community and build a better place, so go out there and do it. You never know who else is out there doing the same thing unless you put in the effort others are afraid to exercise.
A relative of mine was into this self help, repetitive affirmation, law of attraction woo woo nonsense. She was the most unpleasant person to be with. Bad behaviour, big talking, dishonest behaviour, hypocritical, negative attitude, narcissistic behaviour looking for people to follow her
How to Get Anything You Want by Elsie Lincoln Benedict is one of the best in this sphere.
She taught that your predominant moods make your life. How optimism is better than pessimism and that you haven't failed as long as you don't give up.
She was doing this decades before Hill and Carnegi.