Even my emotionally abusive ex husband, who was the one that initiated the break-up, and told me he wants me to move out, was not really being honest. He wanted me to beg and plea to stay with him. He told me, you have three weeks to get your stuff and go. I said, ok I’ll move out in twenty days. He relaxed because I was not bringing in any boxes or suitcases and it looked like I was not even starting to pack. But on the days he went to work, I was packing like crazy and shipping everything out. In 3 days, I texted him that I left and the home keys were on the coffee table. He started spying on my phone, so I went out and got a different one. My mom accompanied me to the divorce court in order for me to divorce him and afterwards he had a plan to lure me back in his home but it was a fail because I brought my mom. LOL some men think they are so clever! That they’ve gained full control of you and you aren’t going anywhere, but they find out.
There’s this podcast called „when dating hurts“ and it’s a father who interviews domestic violence victims, counselors and victim advocates. The reason why he started the podcast was because back in the early 2000s his daughter was killed by her ex boyfriend while/after breaking up with him in person. At that time his daughter just graduated from college, had a job offer and was just starting to build her life. Both his daughter and her murderer were upper middle class to upper class, which he often highlights (because of the stereotypes around victims and perpetrators). AND he also highlights that there wasn’t physical abuse in the relationship. He was „just“ controlling, jealous, possessive and tried to isolate her. Which societally was kind of accepted back then (and still to this day is tbh) and wasn’t necessarily seen as a red flag. I can highly recommend his podcast!!
The whole premise of the story is eye opening. Both individuals had their whole future ahead of them and he decided that she couldn't have one without him. I would also argue that he doesn't really know if there was any physical abuse behind closed doors.
Watching the Investigation Discovery Channel permanently changed the way I break up with men. ALWAYS over the phone📱. Even the nicest men can suddenly snap to violence when they think they are losing a woman.
We need to remember that most men are conditioned to see women as property. It doesn't matter if they're nice to us, they likely have a part of their conscious which tells them that she's his property, and they'd rather 'break' their property and be the only one to own them, then lose them.
Agreed.. Alot of them are walking on the edge. It literally takes nothing to make them snap these days... And it's you that will always ALWAYS pay the price.. For his mental breakdown/episode. Then when it goes to court.. He'll claim 'mental illness' and be released back into society.. To hunt for his next victim...
As someone said in the first part, we never hear lawyers talk about how MEN can get out of a relationship without getting offed. How to have half/full custody? Yes. Without alimony? Yes. But never how to get out of a relationship without losing their life. It is women who have to worry about this the most by a long shot.
It happens, but males don't fear for their lives when dealing with women... It takes a lot for a woman to kill... Usually as a result of being abused. Whereas, males can kill as a reflex action...no thought necessary. Very dangerous.
Cause that hardly happens. I did read about one guy who was offed by his ex girlfriend. Which is why I said hardly. Or that woman on man is rarely pay attention to.
Yup. I am sure there are cases out there where women have offed their partners when they leave - women can be as sh$tty as men - but it doesn’t seem to be a common enough thing to be discussed widely in criminal defense texts.
Men want to be victims so bad 😂 This isn't a thing for guys. Men as a group of people don't have to worry about this. You're just so triggered whenever women talk about stuff that has plagued their gender for thousands of years (men killing women). I guess women can't talk about misogyny without you getting, what? Jealous? Now let me play you off with the world's smallest violin
My mom was in abusive relationship for 6 years with my brother’s dad. I remember when I saw him beat her bloody. I will never forget the day she told us to pack our bags so that we can leave. We ran in the middle of the night and stayed with family. He found out where we were and kept following us from state to state. She filed a restraining order against him but he continued to follow us. She fought for full custody over my brother in court and got child support. I wouldn’t be surprised if he threatened to unalive her. My youngest brother was probably too young to remember but I remember. I was 12 while my youngest brother was 6 back then. This happened in 2008 and my mom to this day is healing from her last traumatic relationship. Ladies please be careful out there. 🙏🏿
Sixty-seven years ago my mother left my alcoholic, physically abusive father when I was three. She had a trunk that over months she secretly filled with clothes and necessities for her, my little sister and I. One day he went to work and she had a friend take us all to the train station where she boarded to take us several states away. She went from the north to the south to her parents where they told her she had to return to her husband. She bravely took us west; never remarried. We lost her last summer, but she had a full life and so did we because she inately knew how to survive.
I didn’t say sh*t! Over the course of a year I got a new job, a new phone + number, a storage unit, & a private mailbox. Every paycheck was put in the storage unit in a new bank account. I moved 90% of my things out while he was gone. I worked around his schedule so nothing was suspicious. Once I reached my savings goal I rented a room in a rooming house because after a year it became too much to bear. I waited until he left the house, called a Lyft, left the keys on the dresser, & never went back. Make every single move in silence, & watch them closely to know how to get around them 💯…
Even if he isn't becoming unpredictable. Things can always be perfectly fine - until they're NOT. And that change can happen so suddenly as to be measured in nano-seconds.
They don't always give a warning. My ex husband did. I was like, sorry, you're right, I love you, babe. Then I moved in silence. He scared the shit out of me, I was like okay, thanks for the warning 😭
My ex got himself arrested. I was able to leave, but he followed me home and wouldn’t leave after forcing himself inside of my apartment. I called the police and they heard him telling me to hang up before he snatched the phone from my hands.
I will never understand women who are attracted to men with a lot of guns. Gun nuts. Gun show guys. How do you break up with a guy like that? How do you break up with a guy that is armed to the teeth? What happens when you decide the relationship is over, but he decides that it is not??
Ladies, we live in very dangerous times... Whereby males rarely have the ability to restrain themselves from evil and violence. We need to start shifting our minds to understanding, that they're our predators now. Stay safe out there.
They always have been. Nowadays we have the right to jobs/bank accounts. In the past several yrs SM has really allowed us the opportunity to compare notes.
Yep, social media allows us to instantly hear about all the wrongs in the world. Nothing is worse than it used to be violence wise. Violent crimes are actually lower than ever, but many people don't think that because they hear about it all the time. Violence against women is the same as it has always been. We just didn't hear about it much before social media.
The only man that has been abusive towards me in my life was my dad. Thankfully I studied him and observed so that when it comes to dating I know which men to cut off immediately and I succeeded because none of them touched me
😮💨I learned a lot as a child watching my mom and dad. They were married for like 20ish yrs until my mom had enough and left him for good. As an adult I’ve put things I didn’t understand at that time together and *always* knew that I’d nvr allow a man to _speak to me or do me like my dad did my mom; nor the way my poppa did my granny._ *_HELL NO!_* won’t tolerate even the slightest!
I wrote one ex of mine a "Dear John" letter from the next state to break up with him, I had move there back with my mom. This guy then blew up my mom's phone with calls (back when long distance calls cost extra and my mom would just tell him I wasn't home, or I couldn't talk at the moment. The next week he actually drove to the house. My mom told him I moved to my dad's in NY and for him to just stop and move on. He finally did after that. Ran into his sister 5 years later and she had the nerve to get in my face about why I broke her brother's heart, as if she didn't know(which she did as she was his cover sometimes) he was cheating on me constantly, would NOT keep a job (would get a job and be fired in no more than 3 months tops), and was a bum who just wanted to smoke herbs and play video games all day when he was taking a break from cheating on me. Glad I wrote that letter, because he was violent with me once already. I was a naive and foolish 20-year-old at the time.
I'm glad you got away. Somehow, this seems to me your ex was a child during your relationship and when you left him, decided to become something what he had the impression of "being an adult man".
The lady who’s boyfriend asked her “well, how am I going to pay this rent?” had a wrong understanding of who he was and who she was in that relationship. The guy was a hobosexual making an initial investment into the relationship in order to retire permanently the moment they got married. Look, as soon as he would have said “I do” he would have “lost” his job and relaxed at home on the couch while she would have been turned into a workhorse to pay all their bills. This happens a LOT! That guy said that because he was not planning on paying the darn rent for the rest of their relationship. She was his meal-ticket into his “soft guy lifestyle”. When she was blowing up his plan, he flipped out.
I’m really glad that one woman thought to get her cat to safety first. If you have a pet, always get your pets to safety first because the bf or husband will often hurt or even unalive your pet just to punish you.
Personally, I was already on board with leaving silently just because if a man hasn't respected my needs or heard me all the other times I stated my boundaries, there's no reason to drain my energy telling him again on the way out. It sucks for the good guys that will have this happen to them unnecessarily, but I'm betting that women saying "leave silently" have had enough indications from those men that they needed to take this tack because it was the safest choice. Also ladies: STOP LETTING THESE MEN BABY-TRAP YOU.
Should think real hard before living with someone as well. This happens without living with them, but why move in? Especially if not engaged. True character shows itself usually within a year, don’t ignore the red flags.
so important to talk about this!! and women are shamed for using texts to break up for being "cowards" its so much deeper than that. when i left my abusive ex i waited til he was asleep then left and went straight to a male friends house where there were lots of people and i knew he wouldnt dare show up.
That never made sense to me. Like why would I want to meet with someone face to face to tell them I never want to see them again. They just use that to get one last ditch effort to pressure us to stay with them.
Yup. I wish we could all act like the emotionally mature people we are supposed to be, and that breakups never resulted in anything worse than tears, but that just isn’t the case. The person who feels at risk of violence has a very, very strong right to tap out of the social niceties.
My favorite way to break up with someone is to let them believe it’s on their terms lol 😂 like just start requesting crazy stuff like hiking through mountains, adopting 10 dogs or having a bunch of kids. They run like crazy or become super clingy lol 😂
My Friends … remember we are now n The Digital Age w AI Filters & Voice Overs. You can not, I repeat, CAN NOT Trust anything 100% now … Instead, Discern It … Feel Into It. Ask, ‘Is This True?’ Then go w that gut feeling. Best of luck out there.
yes i agree with the first man commenting. there is a breaking point when it's realized that the person is leaving you. it happened to me. i was getting cheated on by my husband and when he told me he was leaving me for her and i realized it was final, i picked up a chair and slammed it on top of a huge wooden round thick oak dining table. the chair splintered, the table broke in half and my adrenaline was racing. i realized "Omg i broke that table". my body began shaking, i called my dad because i was so scared of my strength and the fact that i had reacted so violently. something I've never done. it was really scary. and I'm very short and was not skinny when i broke that table and did not exercise, so it was scary realizing how much power went into breaking that table. and yes i was so sore in my while body the next day.
I broke up with a guy at a busy coffee shop, after he yelled at me on the phone. Nope, not this gal. I’m not it for him. He gotta take that attitude out and away from me. So next time I saw him, was at the coffee shop.
This is how my 1yr relationship ended with my narc ex bf. Not only he was yelling but he was also cussing me out. I hang up the phone cuz i wasnt gonna listen to that lol. No contact ever since and ive never been more peaceful
I want to add, that I never fight, and was not raised to fight for myself because of Christianity so I didn't know how to fight so that time I broke the table was the first time I've physically exhibited anger. Whew. Never reacted that way again but, that rage is so real and unexpected. So no matter how nice a person may is or seem, there can be a breaking point. So yeah follow the advice as shown on this video.
I heard this quote “ I don’t know your my enemy until your my enemy” I found this out first hand when I waisted 20+ years married to a covert narcissist! Ladies you got to believe them and the red flags the first time! My Heavenly Father got me out safely and I’m grateful and never looked back! God has taken better care of me in the last 9 years then this demon did in the 20+ he stole from me!
I’ve dealt with men who complain that I won’t move in with them or tell them where I live. I’ve been accused of being unfaithful and untrustworthy because of that personal rule. I’ve been told I’ll never be able to keep a man because I refuse to accept, “I’m not that kind of guy!” as any sort of guarantee. However, the sheer number of friends who’ve told me they WISH they’d done the same actually worries me. Spending my life alone if my standards cannot be met sounds way better than living in fear, betting my safety on restraining orders, or having a possessive nut try to force his way into my home. Granted, the only things waiting for intruders at my addrs are 2A solutions, but using those comes legal risks I’d rather avoid.
Yup this is soooo true. I’m a true crime listener and I watch dark Asia with Megan. There was recently a 2 stories I listened to were horrific. This girl broke up with her military boyfriend and he divided to kidnap her keep her in his apartment in a cage starving her peeing on her graping her. The other case the dude killed her parents in their home and texted her on their phone pretending to be them told her to come over and tried to kill her both stories happened in Korea.
I was just talking to a coworker who didnt marry for the first time until age 42. Its been a few years and she said she majority regrets it. She has her own paid off home she had way before she got married she was so set up for peace but brought a man into her house and now chaos
Oh no. You definitely don’t want to bring a man into your paid off home unless he has a paid off home as well. Ideally, at that time point in life, I would keep a condo just for me. We would get a place together.
I love watching true crime (i know that sounds weird) but THE number of cases of women getting unalived because they underestimated their partner. For women in knowingly abusive r.ships the days, hours and weeks after the woman leaves is often THE most dangerous time and action plans in place is vital for the victims.
@@ruffandrelax290 you 🥷🏽 are toxic. I'm all for women moving in silence when you're done you're done no need to say anything just bounce. Women don't owe ANYONE an explanation.
I don’t think that’s a good way to go about things because that’s setting up a precedent of one day you have a partner and the next day you’ve been ghosted. I mean, I’m not in the dating pool but I can see this being traumatizing for some people and causing abandonment issues that can only cause worse issues further down the line…and understand if women started doing this as a trend, guys would start doing this as a trend too. And probably worse. They can be vindictive af. You do 1 thing, they’ll do 10 in retaliation. Quiet leaving is don’t make a spectacle of it, don’t have a confrontation, just quietly go and send a text or email or whatever that it’s over. If they’re abusive, no contact. 🤷🏾♀️ Again, I’m not in the dating pool so this doesn’t affect me at all what happens if yall open that can of worms but just on the outside looking in…this doesn’t seem like a good idea.
To the 48 year old lady in black and white stripes: I never would have guessed your age! Being through all that horror, having kids and still looking so vibrant and young. If I look like that in seven years, I'll tap my shoulder. Kudos to you for surviving and rehabilitating.
Here’s an idea; don’t tell him you’re leaving. Just leave. Best move ever. Literally, check mate! Some “people” are so entitled and controlling they actually believe they OWN you. Remember when “people” had no rights? They would chase them down and would say they belong to me. That is how some “people” view relationships. That energy is still alive today. And there is nothing worse than a victim turned predator.
These stories are heartbreaking. To all experiencing this, i hope yall get out safely. And to those who made it out. Share your stories if you can. Its so empowering. I left my kids' father bc he put hands on me. I got out. Never looked back. I reported it, and we're safe now. ❤
Breaking up and leaving are the most dangerous times for the victim of DV, so I agree with taking every precaution to stay safe and alive. Reach out to a DV hotline, police (if you're safe with cops), or trusted loved ones and community members for help leaving quietly.
These stories are important. Can you please keep posting them on your channel? Part 1, 2, 3, & beyond; as I sadly do not believe this will end without some sort of intervention.
Looking good Priscilla ❤ love this ! Part 2 is so necessary right now ❤️💯 silence is key 🗝️ I regret I missed so many red flags dealing with the men at the time
I had to move my most precious items out of my exs house in a day. He realized a bunch of my stuff was gone and that I wasn't here. Called me and I told him over the phone that I was leaving. Returned with my whole family and six friends over the course of the next three days to get the rest. He was insulted by the secrecy and precautions I took, but I'm still alive. That was my end goal, and I did what I had to do to ensure that.
Wait till he goes to work. Schedule a moving team on a friend's or library's phone. If you think he will be a very large threat ex: vi//lence then pack all of your most valuables and three changes of clothes into a bag and leave when they are at work, best if it is in the morning. If you have children, put them in daycare or in family, friend, or police custody till you are safe. Your safety is and should always be your biggest priority.
I saw a video were a young lady bagged her stuff up and she told him she was spring cleaning and declutterring and donating to goodwill but it was her things she was moving and he believed her didn’t suspect a thing.
I'm glad for all those women who got away alive. I cannot comprehend, why men apparentl think, the woman they're in a relationship with, is their property.
I totally get it. For whatever reason this person has not turned out to be the trustworthy and reliable *ALLY* you had hoped for and prior talks and discussions were only successful insomuch as they revealed the true character of that individual. Therefore any compromises that needed to be made or talking and negotiating that needed to be done are really done and *over.* So based on this knowledge and experience it is now time to make a safe departure - never to return again and careful to remain vigilant because losers don't like to "lose" and often will stop at nothing to secure "the win" at your expense.
okay it's time for us in this chat to realise the sexism in the term "cis". it is a deeply deeply awful idea which suggests that woman is some form of social role and not biological being. it helps to ignore violence against women. i might sounds insane to many reading this but please look into this. decenter men, even if they call themselves women.
I'm not saying you're wrong, but I'm not sure how "cis" helps ppl ignore women as beings. Can you explain a lil more?💕 My bestie may transition publically someday.
@@llamababiezhellyeah yeah so "cis" turns women into a subcategory of women. it suggests that women (human female who has lived into adulthood) is about something other than biological, and so in doing that suggests that woman is a social role instead. this reinforces all that nonsense that men have been saying for generations about how women are this way or that way. does that make sense? or should i say more?
Absolutely agreed. I did not choose my oppression. It was foisted on me regardless of anything I did by the opposite s*x class. Cis makes it seem like I'm choosing to be a woman, and cis implies that I am a subcategory of my s*x class. You can't identify into or out of oppression. Decenter all men. Also, the lawyer who is giving the advice, while obviously very kind, keeps using the word "person" as case studies. Why can't he be honest and say it is women this happened to?
It’s so vital to me to know the person I’m with. As far as the field I’m in, I just have a hard time trusting TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE 🫣 what’s your real story 💯 I just advice people to be really ATTENTIVE to whomever your dating and married to 🙏🏾
Even my emotionally abusive ex husband, who was the one that initiated the break-up, and told me he wants me to move out, was not really being honest. He wanted me to beg and plea to stay with him. He told me, you have three weeks to get your stuff and go. I said, ok I’ll move out in twenty days. He relaxed because I was not bringing in any boxes or suitcases and it looked like I was not even starting to pack. But on the days he went to work, I was packing like crazy and shipping everything out. In 3 days, I texted him that I left and the home keys were on the coffee table. He started spying on my phone, so I went out and got a different one. My mom accompanied me to the divorce court in order for me to divorce him and afterwards he had a plan to lure me back in his home but it was a fail because I brought my mom. LOL some men think they are so clever! That they’ve gained full control of you and you aren’t going anywhere, but they find out.
Great plan! You stealthed the crap out of him and he wasn't smart enough to recognize! Glad you and your mom are safe! Sky's the limit now sis!!!❤❤❤
Was this the nsa guy you mentioned in the last video or did you have 2 crazies to deal with?
How did he spy your phone? 😮
You took a chance going to back and you bought your mom.😮😮😮
“I’ll be gone in 20 days.” *leaves in 3* GOOD FOR YOU!
And replacing your phone? BRILLIANT!
You took very admirable steps here. Well played!
There’s this podcast called „when dating hurts“ and it’s a father who interviews domestic violence victims, counselors and victim advocates. The reason why he started the podcast was because back in the early 2000s his daughter was killed by her ex boyfriend while/after breaking up with him in person. At that time his daughter just graduated from college, had a job offer and was just starting to build her life. Both his daughter and her murderer were upper middle class to upper class, which he often highlights (because of the stereotypes around victims and perpetrators). AND he also highlights that there wasn’t physical abuse in the relationship. He was „just“ controlling, jealous, possessive and tried to isolate her. Which societally was kind of accepted back then (and still to this day is tbh) and wasn’t necessarily seen as a red flag. I can highly recommend his podcast!!
😮😩 Thank you for sharing
The whole premise of the story is eye opening. Both individuals had their whole future ahead of them and he decided that she couldn't have one without him. I would also argue that he doesn't really know if there was any physical abuse behind closed doors.
Whats his name? I cant find it
@@0l0l00l0Bill Mitchell
@@0l0l00l0 Bill Mitchell
Watching the Investigation Discovery Channel permanently changed the way I break up with men. ALWAYS over the phone📱. Even the nicest men can suddenly snap to violence when they think they are losing a woman.
We need to remember that most men are conditioned to see women as property. It doesn't matter if they're nice to us, they likely have a part of their conscious which tells them that she's his property, and they'd rather 'break' their property and be the only one to own them, then lose them.
Agreed.. Alot of them are walking on the edge. It literally takes nothing to make them snap these days... And it's you that will always ALWAYS pay the price.. For his mental breakdown/episode. Then when it goes to court.. He'll claim 'mental illness' and be released back into society.. To hunt for his next victim...
Amen. Stay watching that channel for information. So helpful!!!!
But what about at a restaurant if a friend or family member picks you up?
@@Elle44289 Say it with me: OVER THE PHONE 📱 📲. Or video call/FaceTime. That's it.
As someone said in the first part, we never hear lawyers talk about how MEN can get out of a relationship without getting offed. How to have half/full custody? Yes. Without alimony? Yes. But never how to get out of a relationship without losing their life. It is women who have to worry about this the most by a long shot.
It happens, but males don't fear for their lives when dealing with women... It takes a lot for a woman to kill... Usually as a result of being abused. Whereas, males can kill as a reflex action...no thought necessary. Very dangerous.
Cause that hardly happens. I did read about one guy who was offed by his ex girlfriend. Which is why I said hardly. Or that woman on man is rarely pay attention to.
Yup. I am sure there are cases out there where women have offed their partners when they leave - women can be as sh$tty as men - but it doesn’t seem to be a common enough thing to be discussed widely in criminal defense texts.
Men want to be victims so bad 😂 This isn't a thing for guys. Men as a group of people don't have to worry about this. You're just so triggered whenever women talk about stuff that has plagued their gender for thousands of years (men killing women). I guess women can't talk about misogyny without you getting, what? Jealous? Now let me play you off with the world's smallest violin
@@archervine8064 maIes commit 94 prcnt of family aṇṇịhịIatịons and 83 prcnt of spousal/intimate partner hoṃịcịdes.
My mom was in abusive relationship for 6 years with my brother’s dad. I remember when I saw him beat her bloody. I will never forget the day she told us to pack our bags so that we can leave. We ran in the middle of the night and stayed with family. He found out where we were and kept following us from state to state. She filed a restraining order against him but he continued to follow us. She fought for full custody over my brother in court and got child support. I wouldn’t be surprised if he threatened to unalive her. My youngest brother was probably too young to remember but I remember. I was 12 while my youngest brother was 6 back then. This happened in 2008 and my mom to this day is healing from her last traumatic relationship. Ladies please be careful out there. 🙏🏿
Sixty-seven years ago my mother left my alcoholic, physically abusive father when I was three. She had a trunk that over months she secretly filled with clothes and necessities for her, my little sister and I. One day he went to work and she had a friend take us all to the train station where she boarded to take us several states away. She went from the north to the south to her parents where they told her she had to return to her husband. She bravely took us west; never remarried. We lost her last summer, but she had a full life and so did we because she inately knew how to survive.
HER PARENTS WANTED TO SEND HER BACK???? I can’t imagine doing that to my daughter.
I’m glad she knew to leave him and also leave her parents. Warrior woman.
Isn't it a deep knowing of strength to know you come from a women like that? 🫶
I didn’t say sh*t! Over the course of a year I got a new job, a new phone + number, a storage unit, & a private mailbox. Every paycheck was put in the storage unit in a new bank account. I moved 90% of my things out while he was gone. I worked around his schedule so nothing was suspicious. Once I reached my savings goal I rented a room in a rooming house because after a year it became too much to bear. I waited until he left the house, called a Lyft, left the keys on the dresser, & never went back. Make every single move in silence, & watch them closely to know how to get around them 💯…
💪
If he is starting to get unpredictable leave in silence for you protection.😊
Even if he isn't becoming unpredictable.
Things can always be perfectly fine - until they're NOT. And that change can happen so suddenly as to be measured in nano-seconds.
They don't always give a warning. My ex husband did. I was like, sorry, you're right, I love you, babe. Then I moved in silence. He scared the shit out of me, I was like okay, thanks for the warning 😭
Men change like the wind - I refuse to deal with another one
This is exactly why ghosting is my favorite way to end association.
👻 ❤
My ex got himself arrested. I was able to leave, but he followed me home and wouldn’t leave after forcing himself inside of my apartment. I called the police and they heard him telling me to hang up before he snatched the phone from my hands.
I'm glad your okay ❤❤
I will never understand women who are attracted to men with a lot of guns. Gun nuts. Gun show guys. How do you break up with a guy like that? How do you break up with a guy that is armed to the teeth? What happens when you decide the relationship is over, but he decides that it is not??
Ladies, we live in very dangerous times... Whereby males rarely have the ability to restrain themselves from evil and violence. We need to start shifting our minds to understanding, that they're our predators now. Stay safe out there.
Always been our predators.
@@Armelleee maybe I should have said super predators..
They always have been.
Nowadays we have the right to jobs/bank accounts.
In the past several yrs SM has really allowed us the opportunity to compare notes.
Yep, social media allows us to instantly hear about all the wrongs in the world. Nothing is worse than it used to be violence wise. Violent crimes are actually lower than ever, but many people don't think that because they hear about it all the time. Violence against women is the same as it has always been. We just didn't hear about it much before social media.
@@martibee8984 doesn’t make any of it OK.
The only man that has been abusive towards me in my life was my dad. Thankfully I studied him and observed so that when it comes to dating I know which men to cut off immediately and I succeeded because none of them touched me
Unfortunately, this is also true for me. He is a stereotypical case study in what happens if u choose the wrong man.
😮💨I learned a lot as a child watching my mom and dad. They were married for like 20ish yrs until my mom had enough and left him for good.
As an adult I’ve put things I didn’t understand at that time together and *always* knew that I’d nvr allow a man to _speak to me or do me like my dad did my mom; nor the way my poppa did my granny._ *_HELL NO!_* won’t tolerate even the slightest!
I completely agree. Ladies please leave quietly. If you want to tell him that it is over then call or text him when you are in a safe place to do so.
I wrote one ex of mine a "Dear John" letter from the next state to break up with him, I had move there back with my mom. This guy then blew up my mom's phone with calls (back when long distance calls cost extra and my mom would just tell him I wasn't home, or I couldn't talk at the moment. The next week he actually drove to the house. My mom told him I moved to my dad's in NY and for him to just stop and move on. He finally did after that. Ran into his sister 5 years later and she had the nerve to get in my face about why I broke her brother's heart, as if she didn't know(which she did as she was his cover sometimes) he was cheating on me constantly, would NOT keep a job (would get a job and be fired in no more than 3 months tops), and was a bum who just wanted to smoke herbs and play video games all day when he was taking a break from cheating on me. Glad I wrote that letter, because he was violent with me once already. I was a naive and foolish 20-year-old at the time.
You were not too nieve since you knew to break up with him in a dear John letter. 😊 Great Job!
I'm glad you got away.
Somehow, this seems to me your ex was a child during your relationship and when you left him, decided to become something what he had the impression of "being an adult man".
When you tell a man you are leaving, they don't take it seriously and put on a show. When there is nothing left to talk about, it's over.
The lady who’s boyfriend asked her “well, how am I going to pay this rent?” had a wrong understanding of who he was and who she was in that relationship. The guy was a hobosexual making an initial investment into the relationship in order to retire permanently the moment they got married. Look, as soon as he would have said “I do” he would have “lost” his job and relaxed at home on the couch while she would have been turned into a workhorse to pay all their bills. This happens a LOT! That guy said that because he was not planning on paying the darn rent for the rest of their relationship. She was his meal-ticket into his “soft guy lifestyle”. When she was blowing up his plan, he flipped out.
Its true. If he constantly accuses you of cheating, its because HE is the one cheating!
I’m really glad that one woman thought to get her cat to safety first. If you have a pet, always get your pets to safety first because the bf or husband will often hurt or even unalive your pet just to punish you.
Personally, I was already on board with leaving silently just because if a man hasn't respected my needs or heard me all the other times I stated my boundaries, there's no reason to drain my energy telling him again on the way out. It sucks for the good guys that will have this happen to them unnecessarily, but I'm betting that women saying "leave silently" have had enough indications from those men that they needed to take this tack because it was the safest choice. Also ladies: STOP LETTING THESE MEN BABY-TRAP YOU.
Should think real hard before living with someone as well. This happens without living with them, but why move in? Especially if not engaged. True character shows itself usually within a year, don’t ignore the red flags.
*LEAVE IN SILENCE AND NEVER GO BACK* ESPECIALLY IF THEY SEE "I just wanna see you one last time"
so important to talk about this!! and women are shamed for using texts to break up for being "cowards" its so much deeper than that. when i left my abusive ex i waited til he was asleep then left and went straight to a male friends house where there were lots of people and i knew he wouldnt dare show up.
That never made sense to me. Like why would I want to meet with someone face to face to tell them I never want to see them again. They just use that to get one last ditch effort to pressure us to stay with them.
Yup. I wish we could all act like the emotionally mature people we are supposed to be, and that breakups never resulted in anything worse than tears, but that just isn’t the case. The person who feels at risk of violence has a very, very strong right to tap out of the social niceties.
These types of videos save lives. Share this information far and wide!
Yessssssssss she is dropping gems 💎.
My favorite way to break up with someone is to let them believe it’s on their terms lol 😂 like just start requesting crazy stuff like hiking through mountains, adopting 10 dogs or having a bunch of kids. They run like crazy or become super clingy lol 😂
What do you do if they become super clingy?
The 46 year old woman in the beginning is GORGEOUS and looks amazing for 46 ❤❤❤
Lol I was looking for this comment, like she is smoking for 46
Thought the same. And she’s still hurt by her person’s horrid behaviour. It’s impossible to believe someone can change so much.
My Friends … remember we are now n The Digital Age w AI Filters
& Voice Overs.
You can not, I repeat, CAN NOT
Trust anything 100% now …
Instead, Discern It … Feel Into It.
Ask, ‘Is This True?’
Then go w that gut feeling.
Best of luck out there.
Agreed. Spectacular looking woman.
yes i agree with the first man commenting. there is a breaking point when it's realized that the person is leaving you. it happened to me. i was getting cheated on by my husband and when he told me he was leaving me for her and i realized it was final, i picked up a chair and slammed it on top of a huge wooden round thick oak dining table. the chair splintered, the table broke in half and my adrenaline was racing. i realized "Omg i broke that table". my body began shaking, i called my dad because i was so scared of my strength and the fact that i had reacted so violently. something I've never done. it was really scary. and I'm very short and was not skinny when i broke that table and did not exercise, so it was scary realizing how much power went into breaking that table. and yes i was so sore in my while body the next day.
I broke up with a guy at a busy coffee shop, after he yelled at me on the phone. Nope, not this gal. I’m not it for him. He gotta take that attitude out and away from me. So next time I saw him, was at the coffee shop.
This is how my 1yr relationship ended with my narc ex bf. Not only he was yelling but he was also cussing me out. I hang up the phone cuz i wasnt gonna listen to that lol. No contact ever since and ive never been more peaceful
@@0l0l00l0 same. I said calmly, “if you don’t stop yelling at me, I’m going to hang up. You can call me when you’re calm and willing to talk.” Click*
@@Karina_Engr you handled it well. My ex would always say he wasnt yelling 💀
I want to add, that I never fight, and was not raised to fight for myself because of Christianity so I didn't know how to fight so that time I broke the table was the first time I've physically exhibited anger. Whew. Never reacted that way again but, that rage is so real and unexpected. So no matter how nice a person may is or seem, there can be a breaking point. So yeah follow the advice as shown on this video.
I broke up with my bf over the phone. We were in a long distance relationship. It didn't make sense to travel upset.
lmao LDR that doesn't even count
@@clauaome25true
I heard this quote “ I don’t know your my enemy until your my enemy”
I found this out first hand when I waisted 20+ years married to a covert narcissist!
Ladies you got to believe them and the red flags the first time!
My Heavenly Father got me out safely and I’m grateful and never looked back! God has taken better care of me in the last 9 years then this demon did in the 20+ he stole from me!
I’ve dealt with men who complain that I won’t move in with them or tell them where I live. I’ve been accused of being unfaithful and untrustworthy because of that personal rule. I’ve been told I’ll never be able to keep a man because I refuse to accept, “I’m not that kind of guy!” as any sort of guarantee.
However, the sheer number of friends who’ve told me they WISH they’d done the same actually worries me. Spending my life alone if my standards cannot be met sounds way better than living in fear, betting my safety on restraining orders, or having a possessive nut try to force his way into my home. Granted, the only things waiting for intruders at my addrs are 2A solutions, but using those comes legal risks I’d rather avoid.
Yup this is soooo true. I’m a true crime listener and I watch dark Asia with Megan. There was recently a 2 stories I listened to were horrific. This girl broke up with her military boyfriend and he divided to kidnap her keep her in his apartment in a cage starving her peeing on her graping her. The other case the dude killed her parents in their home and texted her on their phone pretending to be them told her to come over and tried to kill her both stories happened in Korea.
I was just talking to a coworker who didnt marry for the first time until age 42. Its been a few years and she said she majority regrets it. She has her own paid off home she had way before she got married she was so set up for peace but brought a man into her house and now chaos
Oh no. You definitely don’t want to bring a man into your paid off home unless he has a paid off home as well. Ideally, at that time point in life, I would keep a condo just for me. We would get a place together.
I always do it over text because I’m a scarety cat 😂
Nah, you're a survivalist!😂
I love watching true crime (i know that sounds weird) but THE number of cases of women getting unalived because they underestimated their partner.
For women in knowingly abusive r.ships the days, hours and weeks after the woman leaves is often THE most dangerous time and action plans in place is vital for the victims.
Let's normalize breaking up without having to give a person a reason, closure, or even knowing that you’re leaving.
That’s toxic af wtf
Other then abuse
That’s moving backwards and like an abuser
@@ruffandrelax290 you 🥷🏽 are toxic. I'm all for women moving in silence when you're done you're done no need to say anything just bounce. Women don't owe ANYONE an explanation.
Either a troll or completely didn't listen to the stories here. I recommend listening to true crime. Might help your mentality.
I don’t think that’s a good way to go about things because that’s setting up a precedent of one day you have a partner and the next day you’ve been ghosted.
I mean, I’m not in the dating pool but I can see this being traumatizing for some people and causing abandonment issues that can only cause worse issues further down the line…and understand if women started doing this as a trend, guys would start doing this as a trend too. And probably worse. They can be vindictive af. You do 1 thing, they’ll do 10 in retaliation.
Quiet leaving is don’t make a spectacle of it, don’t have a confrontation, just quietly go and send a text or email or whatever that it’s over. If they’re abusive, no contact. 🤷🏾♀️ Again, I’m not in the dating pool so this doesn’t affect me at all what happens if yall open that can of worms but just on the outside looking in…this doesn’t seem like a good idea.
To the 48 year old lady in black and white stripes: I never would have guessed your age! Being through all that horror, having kids and still looking so vibrant and young. If I look like that in seven years, I'll tap my shoulder. Kudos to you for surviving and rehabilitating.
Here’s an idea; don’t tell him you’re leaving. Just leave. Best move ever. Literally, check mate! Some “people” are so entitled and controlling they actually believe they OWN you. Remember when “people” had no rights? They would chase them down and would say they belong to me. That is how some “people” view relationships. That energy is still alive today. And there is nothing worse than a victim turned predator.
These stories are heartbreaking. To all experiencing this, i hope yall get out safely. And to those who made it out. Share your stories if you can. Its so empowering.
I left my kids' father bc he put hands on me. I got out. Never looked back. I reported it, and we're safe now. ❤
Breaking up and leaving are the most dangerous times for the victim of DV, so I agree with taking every precaution to stay safe and alive. Reach out to a DV hotline, police (if you're safe with cops), or trusted loved ones and community members for help leaving quietly.
These women are beautiful and look what happened to them. Omg!
She was supposed to leave with half of everything anyways but with his incompetence she should have left with all... She's too nice
Thank you for part 2...part 1 opened my eyes..thank u
These stories are important. Can you please keep posting them on your channel? Part 1, 2, 3, & beyond; as I sadly do not believe this will end without some sort of intervention.
Looking good Priscilla ❤ love this ! Part 2 is so necessary right now ❤️💯 silence is key 🗝️ I regret I missed so many red flags dealing with the men at the time
Yep.. She stunning. 🤷♀️
Thank you ☺️ ❤❤
@@Priscilla_Boye YW ❤️
Not the sister betraying her .. Woooow
I had to move my most precious items out of my exs house in a day. He realized a bunch of my stuff was gone and that I wasn't here. Called me and I told him over the phone that I was leaving. Returned with my whole family and six friends over the course of the next three days to get the rest. He was insulted by the secrecy and precautions I took, but I'm still alive. That was my end goal, and I did what I had to do to ensure that.
Working on this with my “ex” right now, trying to figure out how to just dissapear… it’s scary.
Sorry you are going through that. No one enjoys being rejected, but WTF?
Wait till he goes to work. Schedule a moving team on a friend's or library's phone. If you think he will be a very large threat ex: vi//lence
then pack all of your most valuables and three changes of clothes into a bag and leave when they are at work, best if it is in the morning. If you have children, put them in daycare or in family, friend, or police custody till you are safe.
Your safety is and should always be your biggest priority.
💜💜💜
You got this!
I saw a video were a young lady bagged her stuff up and she told him she was spring cleaning and declutterring and donating to goodwill but it was her things she was moving and he believed her didn’t suspect a thing.
Kudos to all survivors of domestic abuse ❤!
I'm glad for all those women who got away alive.
I cannot comprehend, why men apparentl think, the woman they're in a relationship with, is their property.
Thank you Priscilla
Welcome 😊
Yho, these stories made want to remain single. 😮💨
I totally get it. For whatever reason this person has not turned out to be the trustworthy and reliable *ALLY* you had hoped for and prior talks and discussions were only successful insomuch as they revealed the true character of that individual. Therefore any compromises that needed to be made or talking and negotiating that needed to be done are really done and *over.* So based on this knowledge and experience it is now time to make a safe departure - never to return again and careful to remain vigilant because losers don't like to "lose" and often will stop at nothing to secure "the win" at your expense.
Also if you can’t pack strategically then pack your animals, documents and the clothes on your back
10:19 some people take too long to tell a story.
Omg ikrr
okay it's time for us in this chat to realise the sexism in the term "cis". it is a deeply deeply awful idea which suggests that woman is some form of social role and not biological being. it helps to ignore violence against women. i might sounds insane to many reading this but please look into this. decenter men, even if they call themselves women.
I'm not saying you're wrong, but I'm not sure how "cis" helps ppl ignore women as beings. Can you explain a lil more?💕 My bestie may transition publically someday.
What is CIS?
@@llamababiezhellyeah yeah so "cis" turns women into a subcategory of women. it suggests that women (human female who has lived into adulthood) is about something other than biological, and so in doing that suggests that woman is a social role instead. this reinforces all that nonsense that men have been saying for generations about how women are this way or that way. does that make sense? or should i say more?
Absolutely agreed. I did not choose my oppression. It was foisted on me regardless of anything I did by the opposite s*x class. Cis makes it seem like I'm choosing to be a woman, and cis implies that I am a subcategory of my s*x class. You can't identify into or out of oppression. Decenter all men.
Also, the lawyer who is giving the advice, while obviously very kind, keeps using the word "person" as case studies. Why can't he be honest and say it is women this happened to?
I’ve never been comfortable with that term
😬
15:27 SHE IS STILL TALKING??!!
😂😂😂 I literally just put the video on 1.5x
@@Myaccount923i did too and still felt like she took forever
I fast forwarded her part.
beautiful lady but seriously she is long winded 13:33
What the heck is your problem? Don't you know how to skip???????
I agree she took too long, but there's no point in posting multiple comments about it. Just skip past any part you don't feel like watching.
@@damieo8139 i skipped.. AND STILL COMMENTED just like you felt the need to. Grand rising queen 😂
@@martibee8984 I skipped.. and commented .. you.. that’s what comments are for. Stay blessed
So breaking up and pregnancy are the most dangerous moment for a straight woman. The most at risk to be murdered by their partners.
Team 🐻
It’s so vital to me to know the person I’m with. As far as the field I’m in, I just have a hard time trusting TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE 🫣 what’s your real story 💯 I just advice people to be really ATTENTIVE to whomever your dating and married to 🙏🏾