Straight Talk: Dealing with the Mother-In-Law || STEVE HARVEY

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  • Опубліковано 22 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 478

  • @jacquin.799
    @jacquin.799 5 років тому +609

    The first woman is right! Your man needs to respectfully create boundaries with his mom and let her know that she MUST respect his wife!! Fact is there are some Mamas that don’t respond to kindness and will actually view it as a weakness and run right over you!

    • @anquanettewashington7176
      @anquanettewashington7176 5 років тому +10

      U ARE Soooo RIGHT .....

    • @leejomara2968
      @leejomara2968 5 років тому +27

      Thats true i tried to be nice with my MIL but she kept lying about me, she would get as much info as sge could and flip it to her convenience and everytime my husband and i had a disagreement because of HER she would put things in his head so that he would leave me but i thank God he opened his eyes and seen what she was doing. Which either way makes me sad because that's still his mother.

    • @sweetange7553
      @sweetange7553 5 років тому +24

      Jacqui TheGreat Actually, when the mother in law doesn't like you, she does everything in her power to make you look bad, so it's the husband's business to handle her. I remember the time my sister in law came to live with us during her studies, my husband took her somewhere and told her the first day: you see this house here, has its own boss: my wife. She is the only person who gives orders around here. Later alone I found out that he knew her very well without boundaries we couldn't live with her. That's how a man should take over and control things before they cause problems.

    • @antjr6929
      @antjr6929 5 років тому +1

      All gas no brakes

    • @shiquettawilliams5882
      @shiquettawilliams5882 5 років тому +2

      #Truth

  • @tonisanders3289
    @tonisanders3289 5 років тому +136

    I love a man who's strong, independent, and knows when to cut those apron strings.

    • @kenyagirl2009
      @kenyagirl2009 5 років тому +4

      Apron strings 😂😂😂

    • @naty1012
      @naty1012 4 роки тому

      Girrrlll...y'all needed to school me

  • @kathleenbengels4303
    @kathleenbengels4303 5 років тому +257

    Ain't no man worth the drama that some mothers bring....

  • @age2agemedia
    @age2agemedia 5 років тому +326

    "prayer works for everythang!" Lol.

  • @shirleycooper5674
    @shirleycooper5674 5 років тому +287

    DO NOT let momma run it or she will run the wife off! I've seen it. I've lived it. Husband is grown. He needs to act like it and put his wife first, unless he plans on marrying his momma.

    • @naty1012
      @naty1012 4 роки тому +6

      May I ask how did you deal with it? I'm married to a grown mama boy, he prefer push me away than face his mama.

    • @sandypuentes866
      @sandypuentes866 4 роки тому

      @@naty1012 You friend her and tell her your mind and say that you want her son to be happy but you need her help. And then tell her how she can help. It depends on what it is that she's doing.

    • @naty1012
      @naty1012 4 роки тому +4

      @@sandypuentes866 hmm..ok

    • @crissycrochets
      @crissycrochets 4 роки тому +5

      @@naty1012 put your foot down with him. He has to find that balance with being a husband and a son. It’s never both because those are two different roles. Sometimes they have to learn the hard way.

    • @LisaLisaCJ
      @LisaLisaCJ 4 роки тому

      My husbands mother talked him into divorce 26 years of marriage he came home and said mommy yes mommy said this marriage was a mistake and left

  • @crissycrochets
    @crissycrochets 5 років тому +93

    I 100% agree with the first response. I’ve tried and tried and tried with my MIL and I’ve got nothing in return but her trashing me behind my back, disrespecting me as a woman, as a mother and as a wife and my husband has a hard time telling her anything. So he’d rather argue with me to just let her do and say whatever. A couple times he told her something and that’s when she acts innocent and blames everything on me it’s destructive and sad to deal with especially when there’s children involved, they’re the ones who suffer in the end.

    • @crissycrochets
      @crissycrochets 5 років тому +9

      Imagine You yikes I’m so sorry you have to deal with that. At some point enough is enough and you can’t be disrespected like that, you’re not a doormat. You did the right thing to walk away. It’s extremely abusive, idiotic, and disgusting. Who are they to treat you that way and to mess with your life like that. I could go on and on about gaslighting and manipulation from my MIL or from any MIL I’ll never understand why they feel the need to behave like they’re 16 years old. 🤷🏽‍♀️

    • @crissycrochets
      @crissycrochets 5 років тому +4

      Imagine You wow I am appalled. That’s definitely not a good human being. Even my husband said that if my MIL ever bad mouthed me to our kids then she will never be a grandmother to our children because that’s just disgusting and shameful. She’s got some nerve! Well you are not the bad but because how can you raise children in a house full of chaos?! That’s not good for them. Plus MILs don’t care if they say anything hurtful to us they just want to get THEIR point across and look like they’re the ones who are always right. Like Steve said prayer solves everything. The only thing that has given me hope is prayer for peace and guidance through these hard times.

    • @crissycrochets
      @crissycrochets 5 років тому +5

      Imagine You yup definitely I didn’t always have his support, clearly he was being a coward. I threatened to disappear with the kids which I had every right to do, he wanted to call the cops on me for kidnapping. HE was the one losing his mind because he was stuck between his mother and wife but he needs to pick because once you get married, it’s your wife that you’re supposed to pick every time otherwise don’t get married. It went in for 3 years and I’m glad my kids and I finally got away from her toxic selfish behavior. It just sucks I had to move away from my family as well. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life but moving upstairs from my in laws damn near ruined my life and all of my hopes and dreams.

    • @crissycrochets
      @crissycrochets 5 років тому +5

      Imagine You yup and then the MIL makes it seem like YOU are the one with the mental health issues even though their behavior is causing problems and they just can’t see it. That’s the manipulation part of it. I don’t want my children growing up in a broken home so I’m still trying to work things out with my husband because I’m not letting my MIL win. I WILL keep my family in tact and she will have nothing to do or say about it. If she doesn’t want to lose her son as well then she NEEDS to jump on MY bandwagon because it’s MY life and MY world. She has zero precedence in any aspect of my life.

    • @crissycrochets
      @crissycrochets 5 років тому +2

      Imagine You yup I totally see your point. I want to make things work because we used to be so good, I only see myself with him, he just to grow as a man and out from under his parents who want to keep him in their controlling bubble. Now that we’re away from them we can finally be a family, we can grow learn and be married and be parents we couldn’t do that before with his parents constantly interfering.

  • @tharealdjsmooth8639
    @tharealdjsmooth8639 5 років тому +229

    I love the Lord, but when your mother-in-law is Satan just keep your distance. Using kindness doesn’t work when they make the devil look like a Saint!!! I’ve been with my Wife for 18 years, I’m speaking from experience!!!

    • @Sara2016a
      @Sara2016a 5 років тому +4

      Tha Real DJ Smooth True

    • @angelianewkirk6332
      @angelianewkirk6332 5 років тому +5

      Damn was my first reaction when I read your post. I’ll be praying for you.

    • @ambernicolesaenz
      @ambernicolesaenz 5 років тому +11

      My mother in law is emotionally unstable... Cries about everything, complains, & gets mad over the stupidest things. It's annoying. We could have a good relationship if she wasn't like that... Even my husband is annoyed by it at times... Not every mother in law is trying to run things sometimes it's other things.

    • @maryluvsmusic9298
      @maryluvsmusic9298 5 років тому +16

      @Tha Real DJ Smooth, I can relate to you! My mom was a true beast in the beginning of my marriage. She tried moving in, she told my husband intimate & inappropriate details of her life, she would sabotage his dinner (adding hot sauce to his fresh pot of spaghetti), I can go on & on🙄...it’s been 20 years & Im surprised we survived the craziness. My husband & I sit around sometimes & laugh 😂 at all the foolishness my mother has brought to our marriage. She has calmed down a lot, not to mention we live 600 miles away now.

    • @carlatownsend3512
      @carlatownsend3512 5 років тому +5

      So true this women was into witchcraft because her son did good with me and she helped him cheat on me she is nothing.

  • @CourtneyGavin
    @CourtneyGavin 5 років тому +262

    If the mother in law is being disrespectful, rude, and nasty the son should definitely step up and say something. Out of respect for his wife. It can be done in a tasteful manner and done in private. My husband and I are a team, we are a unit. If anyone disrespects one of us, we step up and make sure we confront that individual because of the love and respect we have for one another.

    • @basicinfo2022
      @basicinfo2022 5 років тому +10

      Wish everyone had this kind of intellect and maturity. It's not common sense anymore it seems. 🤦‍♀️

    • @dennishaedwards4017
      @dennishaedwards4017 5 років тому +3

      Exactly

    • @d-nise6364
      @d-nise6364 5 років тому +5

      Courtney Gavin. I agree. Respect goes both ways. Idc who you are.

    • @naty1012
      @naty1012 4 роки тому +6

      You are blessed beyond measure to have a husband who thinks that way. Some of them are grown boys who can never face mama & mama can do no wrong !

    • @sld8717
      @sld8717 3 роки тому

      @@naty1012 I agree and it's sad

  • @ClaireHaire
    @ClaireHaire 5 років тому +95

    I’ve noticed a distinct correlation between single moms and horrible mother in law behavior. He’s not your man get over it! My advice is make it very clear to your husband that you will confront her and that will make a man step up really quickly, I guarantee it.

    • @kenyatyre7649
      @kenyatyre7649 5 років тому +3

      Claire Joseph lmao there is definitely a correlation

    • @rodsanjel
      @rodsanjel 3 роки тому +4

      Agreed! That's what I'm dealing with after 16 years of marriage and raising my bonus children since they were 4 and 6 along with the 2 we had together. She's always been single and codependent on my husband but the disrespect has come to a head

    • @tiffanyxo3373
      @tiffanyxo3373 2 роки тому

      I needed this comment because YES

    • @jasminewilson1607
      @jasminewilson1607 2 роки тому +4

      Your comment is 100% correct!!! Been with my husband for 10 years and each time his mother (who thinks her son is HER man) tries me. I tell him to get to her before I do and he sure does in a respectful manner. Because he knows if I were to, I aim for tears.

  • @tselengbotlhole750
    @tselengbotlhole750 5 років тому +319

    I think the biggest mistake married women make, is to think their mother in law is their mom
    Stop expecting her to treat you like her daughter, you are not. Be respectful but generally just ignore her if she is acting funny at her house, but at your house, be firm and set your ground rules.

    • @SpecialKRNB
      @SpecialKRNB 5 років тому +18

      I mean it IS her daughter... maybe not biologically but that's her daughter... just look at it this way.. although you may adopt a child whom is not your own... you still love them like they are.. plus, people have got to understand that when you get married you're not just marrying your spouse but you're marrying into your spouse's family and if his relationship with his family is rocky the chances of his marriage with his wife being rocky is HIGH... #js #beaware #beware #becareful #thatsjustme #realtalk #justmytwocents

    • @YasminMahnaz
      @YasminMahnaz 5 років тому +14

      @@SpecialKRNB ur ..an idiot. Ur 2 pennies are idiopathic. ..its not her daughter. ...she didn't raise her she didn't adopt her.. ...she nothing really. However be respectful and set boundaries. .mine ...is a birdcaged nutcase too w grown son marrying mid thirties. He's grown. U may not like how he got married. Get ovwr it. I'm not going lov u like mother cz u ain't my momma. I've had hard time w my own and finally in thirties got better.

    • @tselengbotlhole750
      @tselengbotlhole750 5 років тому +17

      Special K I disagree, this is what causes conflicts in the relationship, one then has starts having certain expectations that cannot be fulfilled. That person is not your mother, and it is very different from adopting a child. When you adopt a child, you undertake to be that child's parent

    • @ambermoses2304
      @ambermoses2304 5 років тому +10

      @@SpecialKRNB just leave them, they're not worth arguing with, i agree with you.

    • @dunya4754
      @dunya4754 5 років тому +3

      I agree a 100%

  • @nesswebb459
    @nesswebb459 5 років тому +88

    I agree with the First Lady. Kinda with the second lady too...the issue with that is that I’m not kissing nobody’s ass😩

    • @anyazayamusic
      @anyazayamusic 5 років тому +2

      Ness Webb exactly

    • @WOG18
      @WOG18 4 роки тому

      Yes!

    • @MommyMoniquex5
      @MommyMoniquex5 8 місяців тому

      ⁠@@GollyFancies312Ahh. Now I see.. you ARE the MIL here.
      That is very prideful to assume she would have no one just because YOUR son doesn’t exist 😂

  • @missjewells5063
    @missjewells5063 5 років тому +60

    I’m over impressing most monster-in-laws. They tend to coddle their sons too damn much. If she has no reason not to like me other than her own insecurities and jealousy, I’m stepping back.

    • @naty1012
      @naty1012 4 роки тому +6

      Mine don't know where the scissors are located to cut the damn umbilical cord but accused me early in marriage of being jealous of the bond she has with her son because I never had that bond with my mom. I thought well I must be jealous because you behave like you sleep with him at night ! I'm the outside mistress !

    • @DallasJayCook
      @DallasJayCook 3 роки тому

      @@naty1012 why are some MIL's so disgusting. Mines like that too! She's acting like she's married to her sons and because of her jealous ass none of us daughters in law is in good terms with her. She's treating the women of her sons as an outsider. She's in a constant battle with us for attention. The old woman romanticising her sons effin disgusting!!! I bet she wasn't a good daughter either and she's jealous of the life my parents had given me. No wonder her 2 daughters are failure she lack morals, principle and goals in life.

    • @Itzdriaaa
      @Itzdriaaa 2 роки тому

      You said it best 😢👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

  • @basicinfo2022
    @basicinfo2022 5 років тому +58

    A man needs to CUT THE (UMBILICAL) CORD. Clearly if a man's mother is able to interfere or conflict with his partner... the man is still a boy or mama's/papas boy forever. If he can't protect his partner and put her first...he has no business in being a boyfriend or husband.

    • @naty1012
      @naty1012 4 роки тому +3

      Most of them didn't get this memo. They think their loyalty to their family of origin comes first.

    • @LisaLisaCJ
      @LisaLisaCJ 4 роки тому +1

      @@naty1012 mine told me his parents and siblings were his family. Not me and his children

  • @victoriab7233
    @victoriab7233 4 роки тому +32

    I feel like I’m constantly waiting on my partner to meet my level of emotional maturity as whenever his parents are around I feel like a complete outsider to his family and second priority

  • @kevinrichardson8873
    @kevinrichardson8873 5 років тому +48

    I will tell my mother to just stay out of the relationship period & if she doesn't like it then tough,this is my life and home.

    • @naty1012
      @naty1012 4 роки тому +1

      I admire you sir !

  • @JohnneseP
    @JohnneseP 5 років тому +45

    Sometimes you have to love the hell out of them, but at a certain point your man should stand up for his woman. His Mama might be the first woman he ever loved however his fiancée or wife takes the place in his life right after God.
    Genesis 2:24 says this "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." In saying that if his mother is disrespecting his woman he should correct it and explain to his mother that he loves her however she needs to be respectful to the woman he decided to spend his life with.

    • @xtylishb4377
      @xtylishb4377 5 років тому

      Same goes for wifis

    • @naty1012
      @naty1012 4 роки тому +1

      What if your husband makes it clear that he is not facing his mother in a respectful way? What if he gets angry in a way you don't ever see in life when you bring the topic up? What if he makes it clear that if he is forced to choose between the 2 he will choose his mother? What if he refuses to try to have kids because he is afraid it will force him to move out? ....
      I already know the answer....it's been 5 years....sigh...what am I doing?

    • @LisaLisaCJ
      @LisaLisaCJ 4 роки тому +2

      @@naty1012 then you leave

    • @s.a.s.sbeauty1034
      @s.a.s.sbeauty1034 3 роки тому

      And this is FACTS 💯

  • @madmann1000
    @madmann1000 5 років тому +60

    Siggy's right.
    It's a man job to set those boundaries.

  • @shanettapryce4029
    @shanettapryce4029 5 років тому +60

    Couples make the mistake of leaving this until they are married, wrong, these conversations should be had even before the wedding with both sets of parents.
    So when you you are married and moved in together the boundaries are already established.

    • @StrongnBeautiful
      @StrongnBeautiful 5 років тому +6

      👏👍💯 Wow, I like that!

    • @sld8717
      @sld8717 3 роки тому +1

      Yes, I agree. I recommend marriage counseling before marriage. That's where the tough questions can be asked and answered. Also, situations such as family inserting themselves into the marriage can be discussed.

  • @candicel.7696
    @candicel.7696 5 років тому +91

    One Woman Per Household
    And I’m it in my house

  • @tiffanyc8307
    @tiffanyc8307 5 років тому +32

    I would be upset if my mother in law don’t like me, I would keep my distance if she doesn’t like me that’s her bad not mine I’m not trying to kiss up to someone who is just tolerating me

  • @SACHKIGAL
    @SACHKIGAL 5 років тому +30

    Some people ,family members,in laws you have to love from afar and see them in dosages and not all the time. I'm speaking from experience.

  • @allnaturalindigo4893
    @allnaturalindigo4893 5 років тому +25

    My King hates his mom with the fire of 10000 suns. But he luvs me and worships the ground I step my delicate foot upon. Been together for 22 years

    • @naty1012
      @naty1012 4 роки тому +3

      Exactly. It is possible. You are his Queen, Period !

  • @debbiemcg9914
    @debbiemcg9914 5 років тому +27

    Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. Mothers, let's pray for our sons and their wives. We truly Love them, but there comes a time when the nest can't hold them anymore. Therefore...if we truly trust God, he'll take care of everything. Blessings!

  • @mimiessienmeraiyebu6686
    @mimiessienmeraiyebu6686 5 років тому +15

    Prayer works for everything!

  • @michellemarsh1366
    @michellemarsh1366 5 років тому +128

    Disagree, what if he had an abusive mother????? Not all mother's are good STEVE

    • @akxay
      @akxay 5 років тому +8

      If he had an abusive mother and no other mother like figure he will have no idea how to treat a woman lol its the same thing

    • @michellemarsh1366
      @michellemarsh1366 5 років тому +10

      @@akxay ibget what you are saying, but because someone might not have had a good mother figure it doesn't mean they won't know how to treat a woman/ lady

    • @akxay
      @akxay 5 років тому +1

      @@michellemarsh1366 it most likely will. If u treat your mom right u will treat your woman right. There are cases of people who im sure didn't have a good mother or one at all but have been married for more years then i've been alive. However, when u don't have an example about what a women is and how they want to be treated you will have no idea what a woman will want when its your time to have one. You may learn from another source but the best example of how to treat a women will come from your momma!! All of my exes are still my friends to this day and can't say a damn thing i did wrong to them because i never did. The result of having a good momma

    • @michellemarsh1366
      @michellemarsh1366 5 років тому +4

      @@akxay your opinion, and I disagree. If it has worked for you great.

    • @antjr6929
      @antjr6929 5 років тому

      @@akxay it's really important to know your man

  • @blitzkrieg6872
    @blitzkrieg6872 3 роки тому +33

    I agree with the first woman with the long hair. Husband must stand up for his wife and protect her from his abusive mother. It's his job as a husband. If he fails to do this, he is headed for the divorce court. I totally disagree with the second woman (short white hair). Her advice is deadly. You never "love her into a relationship". It doesn't work. You will look like a weak, grovelling idiot. Stand tall. Let your husband deal with his wicked mother and put the boundaries in place!

    • @guadalupemaldonado3634
      @guadalupemaldonado3634 2 роки тому

      I have a husband that always stands up for me, but there's days where he ain't there, and there's days a mother and law goes off like mine wanted him to abort our baby and he got upset at her, and then she told him if he was sure our kids were his, so that's when I stepped in cuz I was pissed and yelled at her and said if she wanted a DNA test and told her that the way u judge is the way u are. And a big argument started and my husband of course told her if she thinks those aren't her grandbabies to not see them no more and to not talk to him no more

    • @blitzkrieg6872
      @blitzkrieg6872 2 роки тому +1

      @@guadalupemaldonado3634 Good for your husband!!!! He has his priorities straight. Also he seems to be a strong masculine man who has the courage to stand up to his mother and not a weak mama's boy. She sounds horrible, though. I hope that you do not have to deal with her much. Best of luck to you!

  • @jenlampton1549
    @jenlampton1549 5 років тому +8

    I live close to and see mine almost daily. At first, we struggled to have a good relationship because I was the first woman her youngest son had ever been with, so the family looked at me as if I was stealing him away from them, but here we are 4 years later and we’re all one big happy family because they finally realized that they weren’t losing a son but gaining a daughter in law, and he made it very clear from day 1 that I’m not going anywhere. The moral of my story is, there’s a light at the end of the mother in law tunnel if you choose to walk it out in love instead of kill each other.

  • @49ers_red_and_gold2
    @49ers_red_and_gold2 5 років тому +125

    My wife will be my Queen all in laws step waaaaaay back!

  • @LisaLisaCJ
    @LisaLisaCJ 4 роки тому +20

    If his mother doesn’t like you over time it WILL change the way he sees you. His family will influence his thoughts because he will become weary of the conflict and start to see you as the problem even though they are instigating trouble. Best to leave these types alone

  • @jbeautyleasau4311
    @jbeautyleasau4311 4 роки тому +5

    It’s so hard when you have a difficult mother in law, I legit love on her and she still don’t change smh.

  • @sidfalcon7714
    @sidfalcon7714 5 років тому +26

    I may be a little unpopular here but that's okay..I don't have a relationship with my mother, we haven't spoke in over 7 years..She has done everyone that is close to me wrong including my brother & closest aunt..She hasn't been to either my or my brothers weddings or has yet to meet her grandchild..She hasn't prevented us from having loving relationships with our wives, so the correlation between mother & son isn't very accurate..Most sane men will treat you how he should regardless of his relationship with his mother..

  • @lapulga8966
    @lapulga8966 5 років тому +143

    Just wanna say.. Hi Everyone ,have a nice day.

    • @mskauragious
      @mskauragious 5 років тому +2

      VENOM you too

    • @gabriella2271
      @gabriella2271 5 років тому +2

      Have a nice day too you really made my day thanks❤️

  • @natashaphillips4806
    @natashaphillips4806 5 років тому +8

    I really agree with Siggy! The man needs to do the right thing (The woman should not have to be the person to have that conversation). It's not about stepping in between him and his mother. It's a matter of respect for your child's choices and relationship. You don't have to even like your child's partner but you have to allow him to make his own choices. It is not ok to hide behind the title of 'mother' and cause unnecessary conflict or hurt in your child's life because you do not like his partner. It's just not right! We pretend that being a mother makes you right all the time with everything concerning your child; that is not the case. Mothers are humans; Mothers are not infallible!; Mom, step back!!!!

  • @dutchesscarniegegordon56
    @dutchesscarniegegordon56 5 років тому +12

    I love me some uncle Steve lol prayer work for everything!!!

  • @wcwindom56
    @wcwindom56 5 років тому +27

    not all mothers are loving mothers . and many put their selves over their family.

  • @planbtvnews
    @planbtvnews 5 років тому +3

    I Believe in Prayer, Faith, Patience and Act.

  • @brightstar8859
    @brightstar8859 5 років тому +7

    Amen Steve.. Prayer works for everything. 👏

  • @basicinfo2022
    @basicinfo2022 5 років тому +28

    If your man shows any momma boy peesoanlity, run for your life! Youll be forever disrespected, not first priority and treated like a second class child in his family....

    • @sld8717
      @sld8717 3 роки тому +5

      I didn't see it at first! But I'm definitely experiencing it while being married. It's like I'm the other woman. He's the baby of the family and so am I. But he's definitely a mama's boy. Everything I get or he buys for me he has to do the same for her. At church services she asks him what he's wearing and dresses in the same colors. He's a minister and after services she stands at the door with him to greet the people. I just leave..He has neglected our home and bills financially putting us in a foreclosure situation. Just to pay her bills and get things fixed at her home. I bought a new screen front door he had to buy her one..it seems Like she's in competition with me. His mother is very manipulative, sneaky, deceitful and conniving. In front of him she puts on.like she's the most devoid Christian mother. When we are alone she is blatantly disrespectful. In front of my husband she picks on me in a way that is oblivious to my husband. She's obsessed and Infatuation with me. At this point I don't want a relationship with her. I fill like she had her husband she stated that it was the best marriage. I don't see why she wouldn't want her son to have a great marriage as well. I just want a peace of mind at this point. It's sad 😥 some marriages have to be this way.

    • @basicinfo2022
      @basicinfo2022 3 роки тому +1

      @@sld8717 you need watch sheraseven1 UA-cam channel cause you to level up to a good man! You can’t grow or be happy in a toxic environment or with toxic people.

    • @trinitylightsounds
      @trinitylightsounds 3 роки тому +1

      @@sld8717 I am so so so sorry for you sister... I can't believe some people live like this. You are so strong, but one thing is that you really don't deserve this.

    • @sld8717
      @sld8717 3 роки тому

      @@basicinfo2022 Thank you. I will look this up and watch it. I pray that it gives me some insight on how to better deal with this situation. I agree! A toxic relationship is very unhealthy.

    • @sld8717
      @sld8717 3 роки тому +1

      @@trinitylightsounds Thank you so much for the encouragement. Please keep me lifted in prayer. Everytime she's around me she makes snarky comments directed at me. So I've reclaimed my peace by removing myself from all functions that I know she will be attending. I know it hurts my husband that I'm not there. But it hurts me that he doesn't respectfully address his mother and set boundaries. Since I've removed myself and blocked her she has been talking to friends, family and church members trying to tear down my character to get them on her side. I thank God that I live my life that speaks for itself. Pray for her as well that God heals her mind and that whatever the negative/sinful spirit is, let it be removed.

  • @FrancisAlloteyJr
    @FrancisAlloteyJr 5 років тому +23

    PRAYER WORKS 🙏 God bless

  • @candymba96
    @candymba96 5 років тому +7

    Prayer does workk!!!! It does alwaysss

  • @harriette-paulaosakwe598
    @harriette-paulaosakwe598 5 років тому +3

    Yes. Prayers! God is awesome.

  • @Zinqzz
    @Zinqzz 5 років тому +23

    Bruh that girl laughs louder then Steve 😂😂

  • @tonicemona933
    @tonicemona933 5 років тому +3

    Prayer works ! ! ! 🙏🏾❤️

  • @comeall061
    @comeall061 5 років тому +6

    Mr Harvey’s comments are way more practical than others so why he needs them... I think it was schooling session for that girl in the middle.

  • @ThaMidwestBrutha
    @ThaMidwestBrutha 5 років тому +67

    Not true...a man who's not close to his momma does not mean he's not relationship material.

    • @nonkavw
      @nonkavw 5 років тому +6

      Agreed

    • @ThaMidwestBrutha
      @ThaMidwestBrutha 5 років тому +28

      Being too close could be the problem...

    • @tonisanders3289
      @tonisanders3289 5 років тому +12

      Allen Watkins, you're right. It's no worse than a coddled mama's boy.

    • @nikkidiorr
      @nikkidiorr 5 років тому +2

      Deffly agree

    • @Littlemissunflowershine
      @Littlemissunflowershine 5 років тому +21

      Exactly. I’m so tired of hearing “go by the way he treats his mom” if he is a mamas boy 9 times out of 10 he will Prioritize his mother over his wife. I’d rather be with a man who has a healthy relationship with his mom speaks and checks in on her ever now and again rather than a mamas boy. Ladies if he treats his mama like gold that don’t mean he will treat you that way.

  • @shawna8134
    @shawna8134 5 років тому +35

    The monster in law 😂

  • @valerielinares2068
    @valerielinares2068 5 років тому +59

    Steve, I appreciate you advice, most of the time, but this is when you're speaking in ignorance: "Most men who have a problem with their mother, you should probably leave them."
    I cannot agree that this is true. Yes, for some guys, this can be problematic. But, you are not accounting for men who were abused and neglected by their mothers. Unfortunately, some men do not have good relationships with their mothers - not because of him but because of her. He might still love her, but because of the way he hurt her, he probably keeps his distance because obviously, he reasonably has a problem with her. Just something to keep in mind

    • @lovexoxo251
      @lovexoxo251 5 років тому +5

      Yes I agree but it should be healed if possible.

    • @girlmellaceus
      @girlmellaceus 5 років тому +1

      I hear your point. I still think there's a huge difference bw loving his mother despite her faults yet keeping a healthy distance. Hatred, bitterness and anger of her when you've become your own man may signal issues ie red flag

    • @aniles1989
      @aniles1989 5 років тому

      It's sometimes true.

    • @LaTreseSheffield
      @LaTreseSheffield 5 років тому

      But in those cases you speak of you need both sides and the truth will be somewhere in the middle.... My brother is a prime example.. My mother has done nothing but love him help him when he needs it but yet he treats her like she abandoned him and he was raised in the system. He has not much respect for any woman especially one that "challenge" him in his eyes

    • @valerielinares2068
      @valerielinares2068 5 років тому

      @@LaTreseSheffield I can see where you're coming from. There are guys like your bother out there who don't want to take the blame for things and always act like the victim. I have two siblings like that myself. However, I'm talking about times when there is legitimate parental abuse/neglect towards their children.
      I do agree though, that there are other cases when there was not genuine abuse or neglect, and the child in question has issues with accepting responsibility for their own actions. It's just that this is not what I was addressing in my comment.

  • @rachelsirett8809
    @rachelsirett8809 Рік тому

    Love my mother in law she's wonderful and is very supportive. She never interferes in our relationship

  • @hyacinthwilliams1177
    @hyacinthwilliams1177 5 років тому +5

    Real men that loves their mama understand. Real Mama's should not gets nosey with their son and his family business.

  • @EDBailley
    @EDBailley 5 років тому +6

    Kim is a trip lol I agree with her! Prayer works! I know I had a overbearing mother in law and prayed and prayed and it worked not overnight but in time it worked.

    • @naty1012
      @naty1012 4 роки тому +1

      What else did you do?

  • @valerielinares2068
    @valerielinares2068 5 років тому +10

    In some cases, "unpleasant" is the nice way to say it.

  • @489soldier
    @489soldier 5 років тому +2

    I agree with Steve you need all three what they said cause prayer without work is dead

  • @justmo6896
    @justmo6896 5 років тому +1

    Rachel's smile is contagious😍

  • @jadkiss827
    @jadkiss827 5 років тому +7

    1:10....Right, prayer works!

    • @jadkiss827
      @jadkiss827 5 років тому

      1:26...And is the start of "dealing" with every situation.

  • @jenkinsbelle
    @jenkinsbelle 5 років тому +6

    I’ve been married for 20 years and have been with my hubby since we were teens. I haven’t seen him step to his mom on my behalf and I’m not sure if he’s able to so that.

  • @corywhite369
    @corywhite369 5 років тому +17

    I Agree With The First Lady That a Man Should Set Those Boundaries. Because you can be super nice to the mom and she can be the cruel type and run all over you or you could tell her how it is and she could use you as the scapegoat to win her son over. His mom is not your mom and does not understand you the way he does. I feel like when its conflicts it only makes things worse in your relationship because somethings she may want to be included in and they should stay between you and your spouse & it could get to be overwhelming. The big lady was saying let things be but if you're unhappy with the way the mom is treating you it will make you distant overtime and that in turn will affect the bond between the family causing more confusion and heartache. When he could just talk to her if she loves and respects her son she will value his feelings and love him regardless and understand where he is coming from.

  • @w.h3402
    @w.h3402 5 років тому +7

    I just stay away, no contact. Waste of energy

  • @burifumamafreekha7784
    @burifumamafreekha7784 5 років тому +1

    Will keep watching you Steve

  • @leilanii7307
    @leilanii7307 3 роки тому

    What Steve said is so true

  • @TheMichelleRena
    @TheMichelleRena 5 років тому +1

    Prayer does work however you have put Feet to your Faith. I'm a believer and love always wins. I had a horrible relationship with my in-laws and when I tell you it was bad I had put a restraining order against her it got bad. I had to ask God for help and he gave instructions GOD helped me to see things differently and through love we get along. PRAYER FIX everyTHANG!

  • @blessingma-eyez1220
    @blessingma-eyez1220 5 років тому +9

    For that cause a man will leave his mother and father be jointed to his wife,two becomes one

  • @maxwellchibueze1540
    @maxwellchibueze1540 5 років тому +1

    Real talk straight topic and please make sure you are happy in your home make peace when there's none and no man would like to abandon his mother for his wife or girlfriend what ever that good for your wife is equally good for your mother daughter in-laws love and respect your mother in-laws period 👌

  • @janinecox256
    @janinecox256 3 роки тому

    My mother in law didn’t like me at first but for my husband’s sake she learned to deal with me and she was nice to me anyway in fact when I got hurt and laid up in the hospital, she came and took my clothes and washed them and then brought them back and I was blown away by her kindness towards me!

  • @Raminakai
    @Raminakai 2 роки тому

    Prayer does work- but it is not passive. We pray to get our marching orders. We pray for God to clean out our stuff, so we can deal with issues with honesty, integrity and kindness.
    Sometimes that means facing reality and learning to set boundaries and having that conversation with hubby about his mother.
    It’s an adjustment for both - especially in second marriages where she may have had fondness for his former spouse.
    I pray, and often that is followed by action. Prayer isn’t denial or ignoring real issues🌷

  • @janinecox256
    @janinecox256 4 роки тому +4

    There can’t be 2 queens in the same house!

  • @tamaramoore6069
    @tamaramoore6069 Рік тому

    LOL Uncle Steve as soon as she said it that was the first I thing I said prayer fix everything that was so funny everybody was on one Accord

  • @monkeyloven
    @monkeyloven 5 років тому +12

    I hate shopping, why does he always assume that? =/

    • @peartreat
      @peartreat 3 роки тому

      Because of his wife...

  • @ocubex
    @ocubex 5 років тому +4

    I'm a guy, let the man deal with his mother... and I love my mother.

  • @makesitauti1552
    @makesitauti1552 5 років тому +1

    I had two mother inlaw - birthday mom and adopted mom 😊☹️❤️💪 - I respect them and serve and took care holidays and I know my place - I never put my husband in a situation to choose or to tell the mom’s anything.. I came into his life wen he was a man and I knew better and I dare not to challenge these two ladies 😊❤️ I miss them Fane Ha’ungatau & Laukau Sitauti R.I.P. ladies and thanks for beautiful loving man that they raised and teach .. I hope my son would treat me that way also and I hope my future daughter inlaw loves me and my husband if not I’m kool! My job today to raise my son to be a good father /husband to cook & laundry & all .. that’s all ... never once did I ever fight with my two in-laws and it wasn’t easy but like I said I knew better 💪😎❤️🙏 hugs frm Sacramento

  • @rumar4u
    @rumar4u 5 років тому +9

    My mother in law took a pill I gave her for her neck pain now she’s been resting for 16hrs straight

    • @SSDavyS
      @SSDavyS 5 років тому +2

      what did you gave her? ambient 20MG? contramal 200 MG? something else ? xD

    • @rumar4u
      @rumar4u 5 років тому +2

      @Nobody! I can’t remember but I know it had a small Skull ☠️

    • @SSDavyS
      @SSDavyS 5 років тому +1

      @@rumar4u lmao xD !

    • @xtylishb4377
      @xtylishb4377 5 років тому +1

      @@rumar4u FBI's behind you!

    • @jenma9377
      @jenma9377 3 роки тому

      🤣🤣🤣

  • @Enkutatash77
    @Enkutatash77 5 років тому

    Pray for everything 🙏

  • @john10jf
    @john10jf 5 років тому +16

    Thats a bad statement to make "if you dont love/like his mother leave him alone. Not knowing nothing the cause the tension. Me and my mother relationship isnt the best but that shouldnt indicate me not being worthy of dating you lol.

    • @LisaLisaCJ
      @LisaLisaCJ 4 роки тому +2

      Well yes it is. If you have a bad relationship with your mother or are not a man when it comes to her you will mistreat your wife. I made my daughter break up with a guy who was the only child of a single mother. I told her he will never put your needs first and he will bow to his mama because he is the only man in her life. Now they were nice and I hadn’t seen anything but I knew I’ve seen it before. It marriage material at all

    • @john10jf
      @john10jf 4 роки тому +2

      @@LisaLisaCJ i do not believe bad relationships with your mother/parent warrants you to be a bad partner. I heard about this story many times and using the parental/child relationship and equating it to the romantic partner relationship doesn’t hold anymore. And I especially disagree with because he was raised by a single mother and the only child because I am one. But Generally speaking, I feel that opinion is subjective due to how you perceive not only the son raised by the single mother, but the mother herself. That their relationship hinders him and his future romantic partner and that’s not necessarily fair.

    • @LisaLisaCJ
      @LisaLisaCJ 4 роки тому +1

      @@john10jf your upbringing affects who you are as an adult. It shapes your views and how you see life

    • @john10jf
      @john10jf 4 роки тому +1

      @@LisaLisaCJ oh most definitely. So you believe those only children raised by a single mother carry behaviors that won’t last in a relationship. And/or they are too much of a mommas boy that they can not be assertive when need be?

  • @Accune
    @Accune 5 років тому +7

    Be careful how you treat Mother-in-laws, you may have a Daughter-in-law in your position. If possible make peace with all people.

  • @roniamy4821
    @roniamy4821 5 років тому +15

    A man should be able to manage his mom and wife equally. His mom for giving him birth, teaching him morals and values and being with him until he’s a full grown man. A wife for being the mom for his kids, teaching them morals and values how to live in this world. Both are equally important. It’s natural for a mom, to be protective about kids be it son or a daughter. I think mom should understand his son is a grown up man he has his family and life to care of , at the same time the wife should understand that her husband is her baby. Mom loves her son more than anything. Mom should respect the woman her son is married to, so does the wife. She should respect mother in law for being his mom. After all she is his mom and she is the main reason why her son even exists.

    • @walelu777
      @walelu777 2 роки тому

      Right. Balance and boundaries are so important on each and every side

  • @kayelatty1244
    @kayelatty1244 5 років тому +8

    exactly some people prayer alone can't help they also need a cup a Jesus plus ashot a Jerusalem.

  • @meredithlynn
    @meredithlynn 5 років тому +1

    Oh girl so true....be respectful because she is his mother. I couldn’t break through her coldness with finding a common ground. So I had to just had to be kind but don’t get close and don’t open up to her!!!!

  • @jjo5375
    @jjo5375 5 років тому +59

    When I had my 'eye' on my future husband, I COURTED MY MOTHER-IN-LAW more than him! I included her, invited her, favored her, ran errands for and with her, had sleep-overs at our house even though she only lived 45 mins away. AND ENCOURAGED HIM TO HAVE 'THEM' times without me both before and during our marriage; I made sure she knew it was 'my' idea and not his. She was suspicious and mildly hostile at first, but gained her as a GIRLFRIEND. I called her by her first name, like a friend, asked her opinion when I honestly wanted it, and made her feel genuinely relevant, and important in OUR MARRIAGE. She loved me, and I her. : )

    • @2write2sing2dance
      @2write2sing2dance 5 років тому +8

      Good tip! Will 100% keep this in mind :)

    • @adnaneeloiriachi7795
      @adnaneeloiriachi7795 5 років тому +3

      well done and great for you!

    • @pearlljewels7330
      @pearlljewels7330 5 років тому +1

      And there you have it. 😍

    • @adnaneeloiriachi7795
      @adnaneeloiriachi7795 5 років тому +4

      @@fitbosssomi6102 nothing is easy and specially a happy life

    • @maryluvsmusic9298
      @maryluvsmusic9298 5 років тому +7

      That was great & u really put in the work! Bless u & y’all relationship. Some people don’t have it that easy. Or they will go above & beyond but the mother-in-law still wanna cause friction. It’s rough especially on a mom-in-law with only one child being the son. They find it difficult to let the son go.

  • @karlawilson9865
    @karlawilson9865 5 років тому +1

    I agree with the first lady...😥😥

  • @RDCFemmes
    @RDCFemmes 5 років тому +7

    The reality is that some mother in law will never accept you and soetimes your children (yes thier own grand children) no matter what so just live your life and do your family. in front of their son they always avt nice so the husband will always think that you are the one who has a problem with his mother. Take the hide road and pray

    • @naty1012
      @naty1012 4 роки тому +2

      Exactly I've seen it ! They've been around, they know how to pretend infront their sons face to make you seem like the problem. Then when you and their son arguing they fighting back the smile &laughter, secretly hoping that y'all divorce ! 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽 Daughter in laws! Pray ! It is an attack of the enemy !

  • @caroljohnson6168
    @caroljohnson6168 5 років тому +7

    I had the best mother in law

  • @m.b.658
    @m.b.658 5 років тому +6

    Well I wish my husband understood stood this. His mother lives with us. Sometimes we get along and sometimes we don’t be she always petty.

  • @thatgirl4567
    @thatgirl4567 5 років тому +4

    Oh no! My husband handles that. My own Mama can't treat me like trash, and neither can my Mom in law. No woman can run my house but me Period! I bet Steve ain't talking that same crap when it comes to the men😐

  • @rmsattar
    @rmsattar 6 місяців тому +1

    In my case prayers didn't work to fix my mother in law

    • @SleepingLady-n4m
      @SleepingLady-n4m 18 днів тому

      Sometimes it works in ways we don't see immediately or at first. It still can help you, for me it's about having one relationship that isn't abusive, toxic or utilitarian. God never asks me for anything. He is the ultimate listener..never interrupts. And his presence is always and everlasting.

  • @TheLuciab71
    @TheLuciab71 5 років тому

    2.16 when Steve said let me say this: ... everyone just shut up and listened 🧐🧐😂

  • @KimmiVision
    @KimmiVision 5 років тому +3

    No. Prayer does not fix everything. Action does. If you can’t defend me against your mother, you are not doing your role as a “protector”.

  • @Speakenglish456
    @Speakenglish456 3 роки тому +2

    I just dont bother with men whose mothers are toxic. Trust me it will make your life hell. He isnt worth it. Hoping a men will stand up for you is very rare to find. Love yourself first.

  • @rmsattar
    @rmsattar 6 місяців тому +1

    Solution is do a job,meet positive peoples.Go outside.stay less available.

  • @sidneye1361
    @sidneye1361 4 роки тому +3

    I’ve tried. I killed her with kindness and relaxed that she just didn’t want to like me. When she first met me she wouldn’t even look at me. From the beginning she already made it known she didn’t want to like me and there was no changing her mind. She won’t look at me. She won’t speak to me directly. My fiancé had a talk with her, that didn’t work. Sometimes it just doesn’t work, but maybe one day!

  • @anitareyes1137
    @anitareyes1137 3 роки тому +1

    After 23 years, she repeated the same disgusting conversation about replacing me with a foreign woman who would replace me and have her grandchildren. He didn't want children.
    She was on the speaker phone in the car and didn't know it.

  • @4daluvofnikki
    @4daluvofnikki 5 років тому +2

    Some men are non confrontational so I wouldn’t expect that type of man to say anything. It also depends on the type of relationship that man has with his mother. If she is the type of woman who is reasonable she will listen if he says anything. If he is scared of his mother A he won’t say anything and B she won’t listen if she is unreasonable to boot.

  • @mishkaned7777
    @mishkaned7777 3 роки тому +3

    Or the mother "loves her son", or the mother is selfish and want to control to keep her son for herself...

  • @micheleowens8663
    @micheleowens8663 5 років тому +1

    That depends upon what type of mother he has. The man has to handle this situation.

  • @vilmawilliams2428
    @vilmawilliams2428 5 років тому

    Prayer works for EVERYTHING Lady..your not all that. ..God is!!!

  • @samanthajo1593
    @samanthajo1593 5 років тому +5

    Man will leave his father and mother and cling to his wife, his helpmate. The wife can politely discuss the concerns with her husband and he can lovingly handle it. I am in the midst of pre-marital counseling right now and the pastor told us a story about how his mother was trying to out stage his new wife at all costs. He came home one night to his wife crying because his mother was making her feel inadequate as a wife. He had to politely meet with his mother and let her know that he will not stand for her to disrespect his wife and if it comes down to the choice, he will choose his wife every time. He said yes, his mother did shed a few tears that night, but that was 20 years ago and he said his wife and mother have gotten along ever since then.
    Sometimes life is hard, but that is for sure the mans position to handle.

    • @naty1012
      @naty1012 4 роки тому +2

      I have to handle it myself in the most respectful way possible because my husband refuses after 5 years and said if he is made to choose he will choose his mother in a heartbeat. It makes me feel that he doesn't love me as a husband should...as Christ loves the Church.

    • @Simplyme530
      @Simplyme530 3 роки тому

      @@naty1012 message me

    • @naty1012
      @naty1012 3 роки тому

      @@Simplyme530 how?

  • @adamgranger5653
    @adamgranger5653 5 років тому

    I won't have this problem cause my mom has already passed away but since i am the youngest kid she would definitely have been hard to win over for any person i would have introduced her to

  • @jessicarandall9942
    @jessicarandall9942 3 роки тому +2

    A love for your mother is DIFFERENT from the love for your wife.. A lot of boyfriends/ husbands need to understand that.

  • @candlecane
    @candlecane 5 років тому

    This Travis sounds like a winner.

  • @trisa9625
    @trisa9625 5 років тому +1

    prayer does help i doesn fix

  • @foodwithprincess1756
    @foodwithprincess1756 2 роки тому

    Men need to have boundaries. When they don’t have it, where does that leave you

  • @fel6533
    @fel6533 5 років тому +3

    Listen! The mother in law ain't ruling me. Noway. If she steps to me wrong I will correct it right there I'm not waiting for my man to do it

    • @naty1012
      @naty1012 4 роки тому

      You are absolutely correct. There comes a point where you cannot wait any longer for support that not coming. My husband rather make me an enemy than face his mother like a grown man. I had enough at 5 years in...I will do the talking myself right there and then...put everything right back in place& keep it pushing, no hard feelings. It works for me ! Because if God forbid I bring it to my husband my whole marriage immediately hits the rocks. That's how much of a mamas boy he is ! 😤