I used to play a game with my kids to do something kind for someone every day without them knowing who did this kind gesture if they found out we would think of another idea. The kids loved this game. And I always told my kids, please treat others how you wish to be treated yourself.
You have to keep in mind that adults were once kids, hence they were never taught "respect" For many, many years kids were respectful to their parents, then along came the Hippies and eventually became parents, suddenly kids were problematic Let that SINK in.
I feel your pain. I’m Losing it here as well my teen has NO respect it got to the point where she put hands on me ;( I’m so desperately in need of help as the father is not in our life’s yet he maintains communication with her and it’s not nice communication he clearly made it seem to her I have no authority over her and she can do what ever she wants according to him I am not allowed to say anything to her smh I’m in a cry of help and def not from him.
This is not only for kids but also for adults ... ! Respect Means:- - Treat people nicely, - Respect your & others properties - Corporate with others - & Obey authorities
How many adults did you see teaching others "Respect" when it came to PRESIDENT Trump? If you "Respect" others it must apply evenly to all others, you can choose when your being respectful depending on whether you like them or not. Either you're a "Respectful" person or not, it can't be turned on and off like a light switch, it your character and your choice who you are.
that definition of respect is so good :) i've always had issues with the golden rule of "treat others the way you want to be treated" because everyone receives respect in a different way. "treat everyone in a way that makes them feel important" is a way better way to phrase it (especially to those smart kids who find loopholes in everything)
Love the video, as always! Concerning obeying people who have authority over you, I think it may be reasonable to add "if they ask something reasonable" to prevent the abuse of children. We know it is a risk among people who have authority over children... Children do not have to obey blindly people of authority.
carolineq.berlin, I have no problem with that. There are multiple conversations we need to be having with our children. Some I wish we didn't need to have...
This topic is also a worthwhile refresher for all of those politicians who do NOT have a clue about the US Constitution! The principle of showing respect for the private property of others is KEY and needs to be drilled into the future generations so that the politicians of the future won't be taking stuff away from those who EARNED what they have and giving it away to those who have NOT earned anything!! Bravo to you for making this video -- I think you need to make a series of videos covering these topics for those 16 yrs and older!!
I am a sister. I have two autism brothers and a hyperactive sister. This tips are very good for me as I can turn myself from being a sister to a great parent
Kudos to you for being so self aware, considerate and mature at your age (I’m assuming teens?) to take the initiative to teach yourself things like this. I’m sure with these qualities you will go far in life. I wish you luck.
I really needed this right now and I finally get it! I thought loving my kids was enough and that respect came along with it, but it doesn't. We just had a sit down and talked about the difference. I was trying to discipline them without making these rules clear but I feel so much better about doing that because they know where the line is now! I am so, so happy now. I can't thank you enough! 🙏👍😊👏
Hi I appreciate this teaching, definitely food for thought. The only area I'm not sure about is 'obey authority' when we know authority figures can abuse their authority so I would suggest more needs to be done to provide caveats around not being blindly obedient. My mother was a 'never argue back' strong authority figure to the point of 'I'm big you're small therefore I'm always right and you're always wrong'. This led me to be vulnerable in the sense of being left with no ability to have mental autonomy and decide for myself whether an authority figure was right or not. I was very 'groomable' plus girls are taught to be nice and polite and therefore not argue. In light of this I was all obedience and kowtowing to any adult at risk to myself. I have been interested to hear Brene Brown in interview on this subject. She mentioned teaching her children how to argue back with authority figures. She says to them they can disagree, not comply, decide for themselves but they must must must speak with respectful tone and use please and thank you. I think this is a safer model for children but girls especially who may not know how to say 'No' to inappropriate advances because they have been conditioned that adult = authority = obey. I was not allowed to say No to my parents (and pretty much any adult) so this meant I wasn't taught how to have boundaries. Oddly enough my pushy aggressive intimidating often angry mum who used mean words and non verbal communication has left me a bit of a mousey 'puppet' but I'm in my 50's and feel have a lot to learn about basic respect because she didn't model it and I simply don't get it. You'd think my compliance to her authority (no choice) would mean I have great understanding of respect but I feel I haven't any understanding of respect. (Although I hasten to say she never hit me and was not a person who cursed or swore.) My church minister said his granddaughter aged 5 was given an award at school for 'independence' or something similar because she had said firmly to the headmaster in passing, 'I like you, but I'm NOT going to kiss you'. I wish I'd known at 5 that sense of self. Not having to please others especially anyone in power. Another example is a story on themoth.org/radio-hour/under-the-gun, where a man was pulled over by a squad of police (for being black) and he had a licensed gun correctly boxed in the boot of his car. Repeatedly the police used intimidation tactics and their power to try and get the man to 'pick up the gun! pick up the gun!' He knew if he did he'd be shot as a black man with a gun. Under great pressure, he repeatedly refused to obey authority. Unbelievable to me where I'd just obey. He didn't pick it up. Defying authority saved his life but took immense courage. "Being nice" doesn't cut it as a tactic or rule. It was being able to oppose authority and know his mind even when 10 police are shouting at you to obey.
We definitely need to teach kids what is an appropriate request and what is not. That can be done as they are growing up. We did this with our children and they knew what was a "normal" and "reasonable" thing to be asked to do and what was not.
Thank you for thoughtful advice...I will teach these things to my grandchild. ( I thought I taught my children to respect others...but one of my child did not turn out well). Any advice on teaching/ dealing with an ungrateful & disrespecting adult child (who has a child of her own, lives in her parents house & living of her parents)? I am afraid that her bad attitude, manipulation, toxic words & disrespect toward us will not only have negative impact on our grandchild but also cause psychological trauma ( he is her child & already 3 years old but we have been providing & taking care of him 70% of the time). We love him dearly & would like to protect him from any harm. If you are able please make video on this subject.
My stepdad’s teaching: -Yelling at me saying that “you’re not like other kids that respect their parents!!” -yelling at me saying that “if you don’t have me, can you live?!!” -yelling at me saying that “why don’t you go back to live with your dad who is like every dad!!!!” Yelling at me saying that “ you don’t even have manners!!!!” Me: well my definition of respect is someone I can look up to. FYI: he told me that if I get scold or fight with my mom. Just listen to her. Him fighting with my mom: doesn’t even let her talk and follows her around and say negative things to her.
Sounds like he is just mirroring his own feelings onto you, All I can suggest (as my stepdad did the same to my sister & myself) is dig deep & focus on your beautiful inner qualities & find someone you can look up to, and do something that makes you proud of yourself. I became a dancer & artist. I ended up feeling sorry for my stepdad thinking what a miserable human he must be, and it helped me ignore, or take it to heart anything he said.All the best take care of you.🦋✨🌹☯️
Jamie Sematat, I am sorry that you have to live with this negativity. I would like to offer a few resources to assist you. We have a "Just for kids and teens" playlist - ua-cam.com/play/PLq2mRDkHEBPCicx6xcJ5ZJzVe9UBlRTQV.html. We also have a "Positive Personal Development" playlist - ua-cam.com/play/PLq2mRDkHEBPCYtqYUCuzsyYpAlzKZDVVV.html. Since you can't change your stepdad, try focusing on becoming more positive yourself. That way when you are an adult and ready to leave the house, you will be well-prepared to face the world. I have written a short book on positivity, called "Portable Positivity", and is available for download as an e-book here: drpauljenkins.info/optin-26401478. You can also watch this video, which sums it up: "How To Stay Positive No Matter What - Happiness Is A Choice" - ua-cam.com/video/nu680PRnZys/v-deo.html.
The rules are great. I think you have to add something about obeying. I should be always reflected on the first two rules. Because obeying to the authority without thinking if its right or wrong let people do realy bad things.
Dear Dr. Paul this is very nice solution or principles that you have, but can you share how to practically doing this or, how to communicate to teach child using words or sentences. Very need your guide, thank you very much.
Great suggestion! First, we need to build a relationship with the child, which means having good feelings. Give them positive praise and love. Also, have rules and consequences when the rules are not followed. You can also start early and be a good example. I hope that helps. I can't really coach in a UA-cam comment.
I think if we treat our kids with respect, they'll learn it. Like when I want them to say "please" and "thank you", I make sure they hear me say those around the house, appropriately. A lot. And guess what - it works. When I want them to take their plates up to the sink after supper, I take mine up first and when I return, I ask them politely to do the same, then thank them for it. By the time a child is 3 or 4, most of them can say please, thank you, and take up their plates, or put their socks in the dirty laundry bin... Or flush, or whatever. If they feel respected, that will flow from them into the world. As an ADHD mom, it's so hard to remember - in a moment if frustration - to treat my kids at home the way I want their teachers to treat them at school or church, but when I do, it pays off in spades. Love the "respecting property" section. Thank you for this powerful reminder.
I really like the way you put the three rules here, and I talked with my son about obeying and Authority and person in charge but he simply seems to undermine authority àt times. There are less times when he might really listen but the things have to go on twelfth time. Am I falling short somewhere to show him Authority? What should I do? Which is the correct way to show it? As talking, rewarding, yelling etc all works temporary.
slyer99, it is natural for kids to "forget" about the rules. Think of it as the three stages of maturity. When they aren't compliant, they are stage 1, when they grumble, but do it stage 2 and when they do what needs tobe done without complaining, Stage 3. Help them work toward stage three. There are some videos on the channel you can watch.
teenager here, i used to be rlly well behaved and nice but over the last yrs i started to develop disrespect towards my mom cause she keeps clicking my buttons that causes me to get rlly annoyed and i have asked her to stop but she doesnt want too
Good thing for you. I have never hit a child to this. Coming from a loving home who appreciate a higher power and saves money. I try to cooperate but feel like there are spirits that dont want me to
Three rules: 1- Respect yourself (be nice to) yourself and others 2- Respect others’ property 3- Respect authority - Cooperate with others (who are asking you to do what is right and reasonable); - Obey people (who has authority over you)
Taylor Semeniuk, yes, this unfortunately happens in our society. Always use respect and if someone isn't, then when the situation is calm you can file a report.
What kids need is the definition of the word respect because the word is often thought to mean "When you FEAR someone stronger than yourself." That is what the movies and videogames teach the kids. Gangsters and bullies always say, "You better RESPECT ME!" That is why kids are confused. The dictionary definition of respect says, "To hold in high esteem.... or .... highly regarded." Bullies and tyrants and gangsters MISUSE the word! What they want is FEAR from their victims. That is the key to understand what TRUE respect is! "Respect" has nothing N.O.T.H.I.N.G. to do with FEAR! Why should kids "highly regard" the teacher? Why should they "hold-in-high-esteem"... their fellow students... or themselves? When kids low-rate themselves and others, they do not behave correctly. When they say to themselves, "I am not AFRAID of this teacher" ... somehow that is being "a real man." Kids.. especially boys ... have a sick definition of what a real-man is. Where do they get the idea that a REAL MAN pushes people around and makes people afraid of them? Likely from their own father! That is why we teachers have such problems with some of the children. We are trying to overcome the years of wrong teaching from Hollywood, videogames,.... AND their parents! I think... the best way to explain it to the kids is with a MAN-CARD... (or woman card). One side shows the Hollywood kind of "A-Real-Man." The other side shows what a true (civilized) "Real-Man" is. When those 3 things are explained clearly.... (respect, civility, and manliness/womanhood), then the kids can understand and change their bad behavior.
Thank you for your thoughtful comment, david mundy. You make some really good points. I'm going to think about this and consider making a video on the true definition of respect.
Live On Purpose TV doctor is suggesting for medicine but I want to try counseling and may be change in parenting style and other strategies first before giving medicine.
It all starts at an early age, formative years, people who have the child's best interest at heart combine with good nutrition, as simple as that. You'll have a normal human being and no parent should take credit for it, it's just a matter of being there and doing your parental duty, love, attention, and nurture That's all there is to it, just one caring ,scrupulous adult !
Rachel G., adults can be a little harder to teach, haha! Being an example is the best way, and you can always send them this way. : ) I am honored to be on your team.
These are great but my problem is that my intelligent 7 (almost 8) year old doesn’t understand why someone else should have authority over her. I try to explain that it’s because I’m her mom and that it’s my job to make sure she is prepared to be a nice person and productive in society but she still doesn’t get it. If she is asked to help make her bed she comes at me with logic (not even with an attitude) like “Its my bed and I don’t mind that it’s not made so why do I have to make it?” Or with school work she will say “I don’t mind that everyone will be ahead of me or that I won’t have a great job in the future, I’d rather that than have to do math”. I love that she is smart but it’s so challenging and she is only 7. She has something to say for everything I ask her to do. She is rude when I ask her to do something reasonable so I ask her to be respectful and she says “I don’t feel like you respect me so why should I respect you?” She thinks that someone with authority asking her to do something is disrespectful because she has a mind and body and it’s not fair for someone else to control it.
Sabrina W., she does sound intelligent. She needs to understand what respect is and get in someone else's shoes. How would she feel as a mother trying to do her best and her daughter being rude? There is civility and kindness and we should always choose kind. You might try the mountain analogy that you are further up the mountain so you have a different view than her and she isn't there yet to see all the long-term consequences. Definitely talk to her some more.
Huda, begin using the words when they are young so they grow up hearing them. From there, put the rules on the wall and refer to them even before the child can read.
What do you do when you have 3 teenagers and your disipline was pretty much non existent, how do you trying too inforce the rules now? These three rules are so important and I want them to learn them. I know it will be difficult but where do you start and how do you not lose your mind? Its like you say something to them and there is always a but or an excuse it drives me crazy. How do I get a handle on them? I kbow not displing them was a mistake but 2 if my boys have a fatal disease and I babied them and now im paying for not disciplining them.
teresa grant, you have a plan, be consistent and firm. Don't let them "talk" you out of the consequences. They will be on Stage 1, where consequences are the only thing that works. Share some of the videos with them. Keep the end goal in mind.
definition; not to behave in a way that makes somebody else feel small, insignificant or unimportant. The rules 1) respect yourself and others 2) respect property 3) respect authority (co-operate)
Cheryl R Wheeler, a parent's role is always the same, model what you want from your children. Show gratitude, respect and responsibility. These can become your families core values. Love them no matter what and even if...
So sad that most parents don’t teach their children with the MOST RESPECT! When they run away from home especially little ones it becomes an heartbreaking situation! 😢
How can I deal with my teen that is 16 year old daughter who is so good at manipulating me to achieve what she wants? She will say every single day she is too busy doing homework to get out of chores. Thinks the world revolves around her and if I don’t agree on something she says then to her she sees it as me not getting along with her.
And she has been threatening to not come home if I don’t back down to wants and needs and she just says she will stay at someone else’s home and contacts me when she needs money only. So how do I get back the control of my 16 year old ? She is in school and is refusing to come home and do what she wants and doesn’t want any rules just wants money from me.and if I don’t agree to whatever she wants she will just threaten to not come home again.
T C, let her know that you have confidence she can plan her time to get both done. If you are giving her a few things to do, she should be fine. She is testing your boundaries.
T C, let her know that money comes when she is home and there are expectations there. She is threatening not coming home to try to be in control. Stand firm and be clear on what you control and what you don't.
Can anyone hep me choose the correct language for an intelligent 3 year old? I can explain the rules but I’m trying to think of how to explain respect in her words
When I have talked to children about this we have used words like be kind and be nice. We have talked about nice words, nice touch, etc. They pick up on it. When you see it happening, point out the words or actions were respectful because they supported the other person.
How are some specific ways to show respect through actions? I’m trying to figure out a way to show and prove to my mother that I have respect for her despite her genuine belief that I do not. A large part of it has to do with housework I think? I’m not very aware of myself or my surroundings most of the time even if I put conscious effort to try to be (likely a problem caused by my autism) and a common problem my mother and I have every few months is that she suddenly snaps after staying silent about me not recognizing a mess and cleaning or a chore that needed to be done but wasn’t. I’ve been trying to help her help me develop cleaning and chore routines (like suggesting chore lists every week or telling me to do something as soon as she recognizes it) but if they don’t work after a few attempts or didn’t work in the distant past of my stubborn childhood, she gives up, says it’s just easier to do it herself, and has another breakdown a few months later with the common line of me not respecting her due to my inaction. It’s frustrating for the both of us because I’m desperate to both show her that I respect her and also learn how to be a functioning adult. Now that I’m on summer break I ask her almost every day “What chores do you have for me today?” and she responds with “Nothing” I ask her if she’s sure and she says yes. I’ll catch her doing some cleaning and ask her what my job is and remind her that it is a common problem for us that I don’t do enough around the house, only for her to respond with “the fact you ask is enough for me.” This is problematic for 2 reasons: 1. I’m developmentally stuck at not having a chore routine and 2. I know I will not remember to ask when schoolwork distracts me and the cycle will go on and on with nobody changing for the better. I want to be self-promoting but for some reason I just cannot get myself to do it properly and I DO NOT know why. I’ll work myself to death with all-nighter after all-nighter for my school work and earn good grades. I make project deadlines and turn in my work despite physical and mental health issues. But doing housework and expressing my respect for my mother falls painfully flat. It doesn’t help that I’m horrendously clumsy and end up ruining things like the time I left a hot cup of tea on the kitchen counter, not realizing that a heat ring was a thing that could happen (multiply things like this times 100 because I manage to be an unaware, human natural disaster). I don’t like being like this, but it’s like my brain is developmentally stuck at a very juvenile age and these actions or lack thereof, and bringing up how behavior on both our ends keeps us stuck, comes across as very disrespectful to her. My mother has a saintly level of patience, but I know I’m wearing her down. I don’t know what to do.
Eva Stickler, how about if you make up a list of the things that you need daily or the areas of the house that most often inhabit? Then you could make a list of chores for those areas. Such as, you obviously use the bathroom each day. Make a list of the things to be done to clean the bathroom, (you can find cleaning charts online), and then set your own schedule to clean the bathroom that you use twice a week. You could schedule a vacuuming day and a dusting day. You don't need to ask your mom. Take care of your clothes, pick up your room. Whatever makes sense to you, do at least one thing everyday and then you can feel good about helping and your mom can see that she doesn't need to take something else one, your schedule. You are a remarkable person to think about this and want to help out. You can do this.
You can't really teach or demand respect. The definition of respect is a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements. So respect is something that can only be earned through actions and it's the same way it's lost. I'm 17 and my Grandfather does not understand this. You can't demand respect from someone or teach it. You can only earn the respect of someone through nice and admiral actions.
What’s your advice when you’re married to someone who’s grown who thinks they still have to obey their parents, even when it comes to their relationship with their spouse or children?
Live On Purpose TV I appreciate and thank you for your advice but they would first have to accept something merits help which would be accepting there’s something wrong with them. I’m dealing with narcissism. Thanks for your very informational video too!
I highly recommend Dr. Les Carter on UA-cam, his channel, Surviving Narcissism - I believe! This channel and Dr. Carter's has helped my husband and I A lot.
Don't adult children still have to obey their parents? Otherwise it would be the other way around, wouldn't it? I get asked where I'm going, what I'm doing, I get yelled at for making too much noise, such as opening a closet door that sticks, or being in my home office while others are asleep. And I better always do the dishes before I leave the house!
Because a person in a position of authority asking a child to do something unreasonable or unkind is violating rule 1 or 2? Respecting our bodies doesnt mean we 'dont' get abused by adults but it makes us aware that we 'are being abused' and so we can raise an alarm quickly! Ive brought my son up to know that he simply isnt to touch anyone or be touched by anyone in his private areas (unless its for medical reasons) until he is an adult or preferably married (though Im probably being unrealistic abt the waiting until ur married bit 😕)...
Kim Abbey, this is why ongoing conversations with our children are necessary. They are learning at all stages and ages and can begin to understand more of what you are saying. No adult should ever tell a child that they should keep something a secret from their parent. If the child thinks that their parent might not like it, they should talk to their parent about what is being asked. I also talk to the child about their feelings. If they are asked to do something that makes them feel yucky, they need to talk to a parent or someone they trust. Hope this helps this could be a video on its own.
I talked to my kids, took away a fav. toy or car for younger ones a snack. I only had snacks 3 times a wk. Pop, popcorn, and organic chips. If they called someone a name or hit someone they would get a warning, the second time lose a snack, tv show, game, or toy. It worked well. I never hit my kids Their great adults
1. Be nice 2. Be respectful to property 3. Obey authority and co-operate with everyone who obeys first two rules. Authority is parents, teachers and police officers.
My kids can respect of they want to, however, right now they act disrespectful because their father is telling them. He is on the verge of getting arrested, the kids are his only alibi. They are mad at me because I try to arrests him.
That is a tough situation, E H. I am sorry to hear that. Do the best you can to teach them, and remember to always love them no matter what and even if. Best wishes to you.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV he has 4 counts of lewdness with a child under 16. I think it's straightforward. His second marriage was Karma, with step daughters one of which was a victim. I have the right to take my kids. They hate me for I don't believe in his innocence. Really hard to explain the " why".
harrissimo, maybe not yours, but a lot of others, remember, I worked at a youth detention facility where to get there you had to have been guilty of at least one murder...
I'm having trouble with my 3 boys (9,7&6) they tell me "I hate you" "your mean" also I ask them to say please when asking me for anything (ex. Mom get me something to drink) -_- I've been teaching them to say please since they started talking. I ask them nicely & calm to kindly clean up what they took out or clean up the mess they had made, they do it very angry/sloppy when they know that upsets me. I am at my wit's end as a single mother 😰
I hear you, Flaca .B. Parenting is the toughest job, and when you're doing it alone, it's even harder. You're on the right track with staying calm. Have you seen my video "Teaching Kids Responsibility - Positive Parenting"? That's a good one to start with and you can find it here: ua-cam.com/video/1SFIc2LsHyA/v-deo.html. We also have a whole Positive Parenting playlist here: ua-cam.com/play/PLq2mRDkHEBPCclxt6agg3wrLBRkL7CCwU.html. I even have a video for kids called "How To Convince Your Parents To Get A Dog," that helps them understand control and maturity: ua-cam.com/video/v-o7L_Mwbgw/v-deo.html. Lastly, if you think some personal coaching might be helpful, we have a free 25 minute breakthrough call with one of my Live On Purpose coaches. You can schedule that here: DrPaulJenkins.com/breakthroughcall. Thank you for all your hard work!
Children should not always obey authority. Kids know when so.ething is wrong. They should be taught to trust their instincts and ask for help when adults tell them to do things they know are wrong or that they are not comfortable with.
I respectfully disagree. A person can be nice without respecting somebody. For example, I can be nice to my drunkard uncle but it doesn't mean I respect him. Can anyone else comment on this? Thank you
How to teach kids respect. 1. Teach adults respect. If you want a child to respect you, respect them. Obviously the adult has more freedom of what and what not to say to the child but respecting a child can teach a child to respect the adult, and then soon the child will respect others. 2. Teach adults what answering back actually means. So many adults have zero clue what answering back means and say to a child "you're answering back" when they really aren't. This causes the child to lose respect for the adult.
From day one, Dontdalla, it is being kind and a child needs that nurture from the beginning. We should always talk to them, even if they can't understand, that is part of language acquisition and then conversations will be normal between parent and child.
The Decent player, yes. when we show respect they can model the behavior. I often tell parents one thing they can say to their child who is out of control is I will talk to you when you are talking like I am (calmly).
I have a buddy that has a 3 yr old girl, and he is a soft father, and the child is a spoiled brat because of it.. it’s so frustrating because I’m basically the uncle, and I have watch my buddy be a soft father. He spanks her but doesn’t give her time outs. She has no bedtime, and doesn’t respect her elders! He never listens to me because I’m not a dad.. so Maybe I’ll send him this video! It probably won’t make a difference because he is stubborn. Can anyone give me some advice?
Deric Lam, have you given her a reason to be looking through the phone? Does she pay for it? Does she see it as her possession because she does? Sounds like time to talk through a few things, calmly.
My heart broke when I read this I hope you know that you are loved unconditionally by the only one who knows every single thing about you good and bad. I am proud of you for watching videos to try and be a better daughter but just know if she is intentionally hurting you it is not your fault and I pray for healing in your relationship and peace that surpasses all understanding to fill your heart thank you Jesus for the freedom that only you can offer.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV cps investigated her twice, but all they did was make her take anger management classes which didnt help. She almost got investigated a 3rd time too.
Coming from the Caribbean by the time you are 5...you better have all this down... because one look from your grandmother and that's all she wrote... I keep my garbage in my hand until I come upon a garbage bin... I live in new york city...
I had a parent tell me to move out of the way of their child even though I was out of their way (I was stood at the kirb waiting for a bus and the whole path was clear) I was exasperrated by the entitlement the parent was teaching their child. That is surely not good. Anyway I did move out of the way so the child didn't go right into the road(they were ona scooter).
When the kid out of no where scream at you're face and tell you no . Then only be nice buy him a bike our given what they want and you will see how they would slap you later on. Look rule one be firm on youre word and if he try to test you're limit and get physical then show him you are the parent and if he need a whoop give it DONT OVER DO IT with heart broken but give it and you will see how he would come later to hug you and be respectful. Even the Bible say does ho lift the whip and doesn't let it fall on their kid for correction that kid is like an orphan.
Also you now have young ones calling elders of any age “sweetie” & “honey” & “baby” …when it’s suppose to be the complete opposite, but like everything else in this culture that has flip flopped as well.
0:38 1:16 (small or unimportant) 3:57 squirt toothpaste on a note card and put it back. Hard right? Difficult to take something back. Not impossible, but difficult Help anyone who is not violating one or two.
I used to play a game with my kids to do something kind for someone every day without them knowing who did this kind gesture if they found out we would think of another idea. The kids loved this game. And I always told my kids, please treat others how you wish to be treated yourself.
I love it, shez! Thanks for sharing. Sounds like you are doing a wonderful job at parenting. : )
@@LiveOnPurposeTVሸሾሿሿ፣😮፧.??
Sometimes I forget how simple we need to break things down for kids, this was really helpful thank you!
You are welcome, nutahk ame. Thank you for your thoughtful comment.
This is awesome!! How do we teach adults to respect?!
EVA MORENO, I hear you! Wouldn't it be wonderful. I am going to imagine it now.
You have to keep in mind that adults were once kids, hence they were never taught "respect"
For many, many years kids were respectful to their parents, then along came the Hippies and eventually became parents, suddenly kids were problematic Let that SINK in.
@@ricgomez1 and then along came rap and created a lot of rebellion.
@@NaturalNails4life Rap could create rebellion, but rap doesnt raise kids, parents do.
@@ricgomez1 I agree but kids are highly influenced by the world and all the.music and influences outside of parents as well.
Thank you! Losing sleep over my disrespectful teen. So exhausted. This gives me hope! Thank you!
You got this!
Thank you! I hope and pray I do!
What happened?
I feel your pain. I’m Losing it here as well my teen has NO respect it got to the point where she put hands on me ;( I’m so desperately in need of help as the father is not in our life’s yet he maintains communication with her and it’s not nice communication he clearly made it seem to her I have no authority over her and she can do what ever she wants according to him I am not allowed to say anything to her smh I’m in a cry of help and def not from him.
This is not only for kids but also for adults ... !
Respect Means:-
- Treat people nicely,
- Respect your & others properties
- Corporate with others
- & Obey authorities
Mayya. Artist, the principle is universal.
How many adults did you see teaching others "Respect" when it came to PRESIDENT Trump?
If you "Respect" others it must apply evenly to all others, you can choose when your being respectful depending on whether you like them or not. Either you're a "Respectful" person or not, it can't be turned on and off like a light switch, it your character and your choice who you are.
that definition of respect is so good :) i've always had issues with the golden rule of "treat others the way you want to be treated" because everyone receives respect in a different way. "treat everyone in a way that makes them feel important" is a way better way to phrase it (especially to those smart kids who find loopholes in everything)
Thanks for the thoughtful comment, Karina Schuler Ferro. I appreciate it.
Love the video, as always! Concerning obeying people who have authority over you, I think it may be reasonable to add "if they ask something reasonable" to prevent the abuse of children. We know it is a risk among people who have authority over children... Children do not have to obey blindly people of authority.
carolineq.berlin, I have no problem with that. There are multiple conversations we need to be having with our children. Some I wish we didn't need to have...
I've been harping on respect lately - so I'm glad this came up.
silvaniawinged, honored to support you.
Amazing video and tips that I know I will remember and implement! Thank you!!!
You're so welcome!
Your videos are very helpful and easy to understand. Thank you
Maggie Thorne, honored to have you at the channel.
This really was awesome !! And it’s helping thank you
This is awesome. Very helpful tips. Thank you! Praying I’ll cultivate more respect 🙂
I hope so.
This topic is also a worthwhile refresher for all of those politicians who do NOT have a clue about the US Constitution! The principle of showing respect for the private property of others is KEY and needs to be drilled into the future generations so that the politicians of the future won't be taking stuff away from those who EARNED what they have and giving it away to those who have NOT earned anything!! Bravo to you for making this video -- I think you need to make a series of videos covering these topics for those 16 yrs and older!!
That is a great idea.
I am a sister. I have two autism brothers and a hyperactive sister. This tips are very good for me as I can turn myself from being a sister to a great parent
Anne Ina292, I wish you luck.
Many kids get addicted from high fructose corn syrup and genetically modified foods
Kudos to you for being so self aware, considerate and mature at your age (I’m assuming teens?) to take the initiative to teach yourself things like this. I’m sure with these qualities you will go far in life. I wish you luck.
I really needed this right now and I finally get it! I thought loving my kids was enough and that respect came along with it, but it doesn't. We just had a sit down and talked about the difference. I was trying to discipline them without making these rules clear but I feel so much better about doing that because they know where the line is now! I am so, so happy now. I can't thank you enough! 🙏👍😊👏
You are so welcome!
Thanks! Well needed 👍🏼
My pleasure.
Thank you!
Love your videos! Very helpful tips for dealing with our kids with love plus you’re easy to listen to
Thank you, Dee Dee. Honored to be on your team.
Thank you so much Dr.Paul,great example and great video.😊😊😊
You are certainly welcome, Jessica Ilano.
So simple. So hugely priceless and vital to creating healthy kids and self! Thank you for this video it is extremely helpful!
You are welcome, Alexis Gallagher. Thank you for watching.
This was awesome great job!
Thank you, King Jay.
Thank you Dr Paul.It was very helpful for me.
Maria Barraza, my pleasure, thank you for watching.
Hi I appreciate this teaching, definitely food for thought. The only area I'm not sure about is 'obey authority' when we know authority figures can abuse their authority so I would suggest more needs to be done to provide caveats around not being blindly obedient. My mother was a 'never argue back' strong authority figure to the point of 'I'm big you're small therefore I'm always right and you're always wrong'. This led me to be vulnerable in the sense of being left with no ability to have mental autonomy and decide for myself whether an authority figure was right or not. I was very 'groomable' plus girls are taught to be nice and polite and therefore not argue. In light of this I was all obedience and kowtowing to any adult at risk to myself. I have been interested to hear Brene Brown in interview on this subject. She mentioned teaching her children how to argue back with authority figures. She says to them they can disagree, not comply, decide for themselves but they must must must speak with respectful tone and use please and thank you. I think this is a safer model for children but girls especially who may not know how to say 'No' to inappropriate advances because they have been conditioned that adult = authority = obey. I was not allowed to say No to my parents (and pretty much any adult) so this meant I wasn't taught how to have boundaries. Oddly enough my pushy aggressive intimidating often angry mum who used mean words and non verbal communication has left me a bit of a mousey 'puppet' but I'm in my 50's and feel have a lot to learn about basic respect because she didn't model it and I simply don't get it. You'd think my compliance to her authority (no choice) would mean I have great understanding of respect but I feel I haven't any understanding of respect. (Although I hasten to say she never hit me and was not a person who cursed or swore.) My church minister said his granddaughter aged 5 was given an award at school for 'independence' or something similar because she had said firmly to the headmaster in passing, 'I like you, but I'm NOT going to kiss you'. I wish I'd known at 5 that sense of self. Not having to please others especially anyone in power.
Another example is a story on themoth.org/radio-hour/under-the-gun, where a man was pulled over by a squad of police (for being black) and he had a licensed gun correctly boxed in the boot of his car. Repeatedly the police used intimidation tactics and their power to try and get the man to 'pick up the gun! pick up the gun!' He knew if he did he'd be shot as a black man with a gun. Under great pressure, he repeatedly refused to obey authority. Unbelievable to me where I'd just obey. He didn't pick it up. Defying authority saved his life but took immense courage. "Being nice" doesn't cut it as a tactic or rule. It was being able to oppose authority and know his mind even when 10 police are shouting at you to obey.
We definitely need to teach kids what is an appropriate request and what is not. That can be done as they are growing up. We did this with our children and they knew what was a "normal" and "reasonable" thing to be asked to do and what was not.
I really wish there was someone like you around here I soo such at structure
Ma Dukez, if you are interested in coaching, schedule a call at www.drpauljenkins.com/breakthroughcall to find out what we offer.
Teach them to handle being small with humility. The truth is they are small. It's okay to experience that.
Deana Burnham, it is o.k. thanks for commenting.
Thank you sir 🙏🏼
Honored to be on your team, Wymans in Alaska.
I love this video thanks for teaching me respect
Geoffrey Mall, you are welcome.
Thank you great video
K Abdi, you are welcome.
WoW. The first scentences, perfectly said. That is ‘respect’. I try to teach it like that to my kid and (unfortunatly) his father.
Minute 1:15
Mau Tse, thank you for watching and being a part of our community.
Thanks for watching.
Thank you for thoughtful advice...I will teach these things to my grandchild. ( I thought I taught my children to respect others...but one of my child did not turn out well).
Any advice on teaching/ dealing with an ungrateful & disrespecting adult child (who has a child of her own, lives in her parents house & living of her parents)?
I am afraid that her bad attitude, manipulation, toxic words & disrespect toward us will not only have negative impact on our grandchild but also cause psychological trauma ( he is her child & already 3 years old but we have been providing & taking care of him 70% of the time). We love him dearly & would like to protect him from any harm. If you are able please make video on this subject.
Thank you jenny kim. I would let your child know the rules of the house, that all need to follow or they need to make other plans.
Your videos are just the best! Thank you!
You are welcome, S T. Thank YOU for watching!
My stepdad’s teaching:
-Yelling at me saying that “you’re not like other kids that respect their parents!!”
-yelling at me saying that “if you don’t have me, can you live?!!”
-yelling at me saying that “why don’t you go back to live with your dad who is like every dad!!!!”
Yelling at me saying that “ you don’t even have manners!!!!”
Me: well my definition of respect is someone I can look up to.
FYI: he told me that if I get scold or fight with my mom. Just listen to her.
Him fighting with my mom: doesn’t even let her talk and follows her around and say negative things to her.
Sounds like he is just mirroring his own feelings onto you, All I can suggest (as my stepdad did the same to my sister & myself) is dig deep & focus on your beautiful inner qualities & find someone you can look up to, and do something that makes you proud of yourself. I became a dancer & artist. I ended up feeling sorry for my stepdad thinking what a miserable human he must be, and it helped me ignore, or take it to heart anything he said.All the best take care of you.🦋✨🌹☯️
Jamie Sematat, I am sorry that you have to live with this negativity. I would like to offer a few resources to assist you. We have a "Just for kids and teens" playlist - ua-cam.com/play/PLq2mRDkHEBPCicx6xcJ5ZJzVe9UBlRTQV.html. We also have a "Positive Personal Development" playlist - ua-cam.com/play/PLq2mRDkHEBPCYtqYUCuzsyYpAlzKZDVVV.html. Since you can't change your stepdad, try focusing on becoming more positive yourself. That way when you are an adult and ready to leave the house, you will be well-prepared to face the world. I have written a short book on positivity, called "Portable Positivity", and is available for download as an e-book here: drpauljenkins.info/optin-26401478. You can also watch this video, which sums it up: "How To Stay Positive No Matter What - Happiness Is A Choice" - ua-cam.com/video/nu680PRnZys/v-deo.html.
Thank you for supporting other viewers, shez. : )
The rules are great. I think you have to add something about obeying. I should be always reflected on the first two rules. Because obeying to the authority without thinking if its right or wrong let people do realy bad things.
There is lots more talk that goes into defining the rules. They are just encompassing so we don't have a looooong list. Good comment.
Dear Dr. Paul this is very nice solution or principles that you have, but can you share how to practically doing this or, how to communicate to teach child using words or sentences. Very need your guide, thank you very much.
Great suggestion! First, we need to build a relationship with the child, which means having good feelings. Give them positive praise and love. Also, have rules and consequences when the rules are not followed. You can also start early and be a good example. I hope that helps. I can't really coach in a UA-cam comment.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Thanks Dr. Paul, alright now I'll try my best.
Thanks
Our pleasure.
I think if we treat our kids with respect, they'll learn it. Like when I want them to say "please" and "thank you", I make sure they hear me say those around the house, appropriately. A lot. And guess what - it works.
When I want them to take their plates up to the sink after supper, I take mine up first and when I return, I ask them politely to do the same, then thank them for it.
By the time a child is 3 or 4, most of them can say please, thank you, and take up their plates, or put their socks in the dirty laundry bin... Or flush, or whatever. If they feel respected, that will flow from them into the world.
As an ADHD mom, it's so hard to remember - in a moment if frustration - to treat my kids at home the way I want their teachers to treat them at school or church, but when I do, it pays off in spades.
Love the "respecting property" section.
Thank you for this powerful reminder.
brightpage1020, this is wonderful advice, well-written and helpful.
But do you allow them to call you by first name? We’ve lost respect because it’s not demanded, expected or utilized any longer.
I really like the way you put the three rules here, and I talked with my son about obeying and Authority and person in charge but he simply seems to undermine authority àt times. There are less times when he might really listen but the things have to go on twelfth time. Am I falling short somewhere to show him Authority? What should I do? Which is the correct way to show it? As talking, rewarding, yelling etc all works temporary.
slyer99, it is natural for kids to "forget" about the rules. Think of it as the three stages of maturity. When they aren't compliant, they are stage 1, when they grumble, but do it stage 2 and when they do what needs tobe done without complaining, Stage 3. Help them work toward stage three. There are some videos on the channel you can watch.
Great video! You redefine everything!
Thank you, Sara Michael. It's truly an honor to be on your team.
Thankyou great video 💛🙏🏻💛
Hi Sarah Brennan, honored to be a part of your UA-cam experience.
Live On Purpose TV thankyou.. Happy Sunday 🌟
teenager here, i used to be rlly well behaved and nice but over the last yrs i started to develop disrespect towards my mom cause she keeps clicking my buttons that causes me to get rlly annoyed and i have asked her to stop but she doesnt want too
Ask her if you can go to therapy or counseling together so she can learn how to connect with you appropriately.
tx for the video suggestion ❤️
Welcome 😊
well done 👍👍👍
Thank you 👍
Good thing for you. I have never hit a child to this. Coming from a loving home who appreciate a higher power and saves money. I try to cooperate but feel like there are spirits that dont want me to
I understand, Jasmine H, thank you for watching.
Respect yourself and others 👍
Agreed.
Yes this video has been very helpful and enlightening...thank you so much.
You are welcome, WrightKing1. Honored to be on your team!
Three rules:
1- Respect yourself (be nice to) yourself and others
2- Respect others’ property
3- Respect authority
- Cooperate with others (who are asking you to do what is right and reasonable); - Obey people (who has authority over you)
Thanks for the synopsis, sarah delgado. Simple and sweet.
sarah delgado I really need to put this on the wall or fridge!
I hate myself so no
Rule 3 can backfire reaaaally quick if parents don’t let kids set boundaries…. 😬
Thank you SO MUCH💗
You are welcome, Chelsea Welsey.
1. Respect yourself and others
2. Respect your property and others
3.Respect Authority
*Cooperate
*Obey
mahan84, thank you for watching.
Best ever, thank you.
Viola Bonkers, thank you, more to come!
What if the parent, teacher, police officer, etc is firstly not showing any of the 3 rules of respect. Do you have any advice as to go about this?
Taylor Semeniuk, yes, this unfortunately happens in our society. Always use respect and if someone isn't, then when the situation is calm you can file a report.
What kids need is the definition of the word respect because the word is often thought to mean "When you FEAR someone stronger than yourself." That is what the movies and videogames teach the kids. Gangsters and bullies always say, "You better RESPECT ME!" That is why kids are confused. The dictionary definition of respect says, "To hold in high esteem.... or .... highly regarded." Bullies and tyrants and gangsters MISUSE the word! What they want is FEAR from their victims. That is the key to understand what TRUE respect is! "Respect" has nothing N.O.T.H.I.N.G. to do with FEAR! Why should kids "highly regard" the teacher? Why should they "hold-in-high-esteem"... their fellow students... or themselves? When kids low-rate themselves and others, they do not behave correctly. When they say to themselves, "I am not AFRAID of this teacher" ... somehow that is being "a real man." Kids.. especially boys ... have a sick definition of what a real-man is. Where do they get the idea that a REAL MAN pushes people around and makes people afraid of them? Likely from their own father! That is why we teachers have such problems with some of the children. We are trying to overcome the years of wrong teaching from Hollywood, videogames,.... AND their parents! I think... the best way to explain it to the kids is with a MAN-CARD... (or woman card). One side shows the Hollywood kind of "A-Real-Man." The other side shows what a true (civilized) "Real-Man" is. When those 3 things are explained clearly.... (respect, civility, and manliness/womanhood), then the kids can understand and change their bad behavior.
Thank you for your thoughtful comment, david mundy. You make some really good points. I'm going to think about this and consider making a video on the true definition of respect.
Dr Paul,
What if kids don’t respect for authority? What if the consequences that we control are not helping especially at schools.
bobby sth, then we need to reach out and possibly get some coaching or counseling. Talk to your doctor, the school and see what options you have.
Live On Purpose TV doctor is suggesting for medicine but I want to try counseling and may be change in parenting style and other strategies first before giving medicine.
owesome
Thanks.
It all starts at an early age, formative years, people who have the child's best interest at heart combine with good nutrition, as simple as that. You'll have a normal human being and no parent should take credit for it, it's just a matter of being there and doing your parental duty, love, attention, and nurture
That's all there is to it, just one caring ,scrupulous adult !
Chocolate truffles, love your screen name.
How do I teach adults lol
For real though - thank you for these inspiring and educational videos! ;)
Rachel G., adults can be a little harder to teach, haha! Being an example is the best way, and you can always send them this way. : ) I am honored to be on your team.
These are great but my problem is that my intelligent 7 (almost 8) year old doesn’t understand why someone else should have authority over her. I try to explain that it’s because I’m her mom and that it’s my job to make sure she is prepared to be a nice person and productive in society but she still doesn’t get it. If she is asked to help make her bed she comes at me with logic (not even with an attitude) like “Its my bed and I don’t mind that it’s not made so why do I have to make it?” Or with school work she will say “I don’t mind that everyone will be ahead of me or that I won’t have a great job in the future, I’d rather that than have to do math”. I love that she is smart but it’s so challenging and she is only 7. She has something to say for everything I ask her to do. She is rude when I ask her to do something reasonable so I ask her to be respectful and she says “I don’t feel like you respect me so why should I respect you?” She thinks that someone with authority asking her to do something is disrespectful because she has a mind and body and it’s not fair for someone else to control it.
Sabrina W., she does sound intelligent. She needs to understand what respect is and get in someone else's shoes. How would she feel as a mother trying to do her best and her daughter being rude? There is civility and kindness and we should always choose kind. You might try the mountain analogy that you are further up the mountain so you have a different view than her and she isn't there yet to see all the long-term consequences. Definitely talk to her some more.
At what age we can start teaching these concepts for our kids?
Huda, begin using the words when they are young so they grow up hearing them. From there, put the rules on the wall and refer to them even before the child can read.
What do you do when you have 3 teenagers and your disipline was pretty much non existent, how do you trying too inforce the rules now? These three rules are so important and I want them to learn them. I know it will be difficult but where do you start and how do you not lose your mind? Its like you say something to them and there is always a but or an excuse it drives me crazy. How do I get a handle on them? I kbow not displing them was a mistake but 2 if my boys have a fatal disease and I babied them and now im paying for not disciplining them.
teresa grant, you have a plan, be consistent and firm. Don't let them "talk" you out of the consequences. They will be on Stage 1, where consequences are the only thing that works. Share some of the videos with them. Keep the end goal in mind.
definition; not to behave in a way that makes somebody else feel small, insignificant or unimportant.
The rules 1) respect yourself and others 2) respect property 3) respect authority (co-operate)
This is so important, especially now.
How to. Raise ambitious kids?
Or I should say respectful, responsible,kind,grateful kids..
What is the role of the stay at. Home. Parent in that?
Cheryl R Wheeler, a parent's role is always the same, model what you want from your children. Show gratitude, respect and responsibility. These can become your families core values. Love them no matter what and even if...
So sad that most parents don’t teach their children with the MOST RESPECT! When they run away from home especially little ones it becomes an heartbreaking situation! 😢
Debbie Gaide, sooooo sad.
How do you explain having “authority” over you?
They are responsible for you in some way. Teachers are responsible to know where their students are and educate them. Hope that helps.
How can I deal with my teen that is 16 year old daughter who is so good at manipulating me to achieve what she wants? She will say every single day she is too busy doing homework to get out of chores. Thinks the world revolves around her and if I don’t agree on something she says then to her she sees it as me not getting along with her.
And she has been threatening to not come home if I don’t back down to wants and needs and she just says she will stay at someone else’s home and contacts me when she needs money only. So how do I get back the control of my 16 year old ? She is in school and is refusing to come home and do what she wants and doesn’t want any rules just wants money from me.and if I don’t agree to whatever she wants she will just threaten to not come home again.
T C, let her know that you have confidence she can plan her time to get both done. If you are giving her a few things to do, she should be fine. She is testing your boundaries.
T C, let her know that money comes when she is home and there are expectations there. She is threatening not coming home to try to be in control. Stand firm and be clear on what you control and what you don't.
Watch at 1.5 speed
Thanks.
2:32 is when it starts
Thanks.
My son is so respectul to me.
I have several videos on the subject, hopefully one of them helps you. Check out the playlist.
Can anyone hep me choose the correct language for an intelligent 3 year old? I can explain the rules but I’m trying to think of how to explain respect in her words
When I have talked to children about this we have used words like be kind and be nice. We have talked about nice words, nice touch, etc. They pick up on it. When you see it happening, point out the words or actions were respectful because they supported the other person.
treat others the way you want to be treated
So true.
How are some specific ways to show respect through actions? I’m trying to figure out a way to show and prove to my mother that I have respect for her despite her genuine belief that I do not. A large part of it has to do with housework I think? I’m not very aware of myself or my surroundings most of the time even if I put conscious effort to try to be (likely a problem caused by my autism) and a common problem my mother and I have every few months is that she suddenly snaps after staying silent about me not recognizing a mess and cleaning or a chore that needed to be done but wasn’t. I’ve been trying to help her help me develop cleaning and chore routines (like suggesting chore lists every week or telling me to do something as soon as she recognizes it) but if they don’t work after a few attempts or didn’t work in the distant past of my stubborn childhood, she gives up, says it’s just easier to do it herself, and has another breakdown a few months later with the common line of me not respecting her due to my inaction. It’s frustrating for the both of us because I’m desperate to both show her that I respect her and also learn how to be a functioning adult. Now that I’m on summer break I ask her almost every day “What chores do you have for me today?” and she responds with “Nothing” I ask her if she’s sure and she says yes. I’ll catch her doing some cleaning and ask her what my job is and remind her that it is a common problem for us that I don’t do enough around the house, only for her to respond with “the fact you ask is enough for me.” This is problematic for 2 reasons: 1. I’m developmentally stuck at not having a chore routine and 2. I know I will not remember to ask when schoolwork distracts me and the cycle will go on and on with nobody changing for the better. I want to be self-promoting but for some reason I just cannot get myself to do it properly and I DO NOT know why. I’ll work myself to death with all-nighter after all-nighter for my school work and earn good grades. I make project deadlines and turn in my work despite physical and mental health issues. But doing housework and expressing my respect for my mother falls painfully flat. It doesn’t help that I’m horrendously clumsy and end up ruining things like the time I left a hot cup of tea on the kitchen counter, not realizing that a heat ring was a thing that could happen (multiply things like this times 100 because I manage to be an unaware, human natural disaster). I don’t like being like this, but it’s like my brain is developmentally stuck at a very juvenile age and these actions or lack thereof, and bringing up how behavior on both our ends keeps us stuck, comes across as very disrespectful to her. My mother has a saintly level of patience, but I know I’m wearing her down. I don’t know what to do.
Eva Stickler, how about if you make up a list of the things that you need daily or the areas of the house that most often inhabit? Then you could make a list of chores for those areas. Such as, you obviously use the bathroom each day. Make a list of the things to be done to clean the bathroom, (you can find cleaning charts online), and then set your own schedule to clean the bathroom that you use twice a week. You could schedule a vacuuming day and a dusting day. You don't need to ask your mom. Take care of your clothes, pick up your room. Whatever makes sense to you, do at least one thing everyday and then you can feel good about helping and your mom can see that she doesn't need to take something else one, your schedule. You are a remarkable person to think about this and want to help out. You can do this.
You can't really teach or demand respect.
The definition of respect is a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
So respect is something that can only be earned through actions and it's the same way it's lost.
I'm 17 and my Grandfather does not understand this. You can't demand respect from someone or teach it. You can only earn the respect of someone through nice and admiral actions.
Strawberry Animation, we are talking about behavior here.
What’s your advice when you’re married to someone who’s grown who thinks they still have to obey their parents, even when it comes to their relationship with their spouse or children?
Jenifer Johnson, See if they will agree to some professional help so you can express how you feel.
Live On Purpose TV I appreciate and thank you for your advice but they would first have to accept something merits help which would be accepting there’s something wrong with them. I’m dealing with narcissism. Thanks for your very informational video too!
I highly recommend Dr. Les Carter on UA-cam, his channel, Surviving Narcissism - I believe! This channel and Dr. Carter's has helped my husband and I A lot.
Don't adult children still have to obey their parents? Otherwise it would be the other way around, wouldn't it? I get asked where I'm going, what I'm doing, I get yelled at for making too much noise, such as opening a closet door that sticks, or being in my home office while others are asleep. And I better always do the dishes before I leave the house!
I'm going to try this on my 8 year old son.
Go for it, Gillina Cook. Good luck.
I would like to know how to explaine the difference on when to respect authority and when to suspect that obeying can be dangerous. Thank you.
Because a person in a position of authority asking a child to do something unreasonable or unkind is violating rule 1 or 2?
Respecting our bodies doesnt mean we 'dont' get abused by adults but it makes us aware that we 'are being abused' and so we can raise an alarm quickly!
Ive brought my son up to know that he simply isnt to touch anyone or be touched by anyone in his private areas (unless its for medical reasons) until he is an adult or preferably married (though Im probably being unrealistic abt the waiting until ur married bit 😕)...
Kim Abbey, this is why ongoing conversations with our children are necessary. They are learning at all stages and ages and can begin to understand more of what you are saying. No adult should ever tell a child that they should keep something a secret from their parent. If the child thinks that their parent might not like it, they should talk to their parent about what is being asked. I also talk to the child about their feelings. If they are asked to do something that makes them feel yucky, they need to talk to a parent or someone they trust. Hope this helps this could be a video on its own.
@@helenbrown8572 Thank you very much.
I talked to my kids, took away a fav. toy or car for younger ones a snack. I only had snacks 3 times a wk. Pop, popcorn, and organic chips. If they called someone a name or hit someone they would get a warning, the second time lose a snack, tv show, game, or toy. It worked well. I never hit my kids Their great adults
Nelli Nattive, thank you for sharing. I love it!
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Thank You for your remarks.
1. Be nice
2. Be respectful to property
3. Obey authority and co-operate with everyone who obeys first two rules. Authority is parents, teachers and police officers.
You got it.
This would be so helpful for my mom...
if she actually cared
Evan Arons, I wish you well.
People who disliked are just rude kids trynna be disrespectful
Gotta expect a few dislikes when you are on UA-cam.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV yup
My kids can respect of they want to, however, right now they act disrespectful because their father is telling them. He is on the verge of getting arrested, the kids are his only alibi. They are mad at me because I try to arrests him.
That is a tough situation, E H. I am sorry to hear that. Do the best you can to teach them, and remember to always love them no matter what and even if. Best wishes to you.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV he has 4 counts of lewdness with a child under 16. I think it's straightforward. His second marriage was Karma, with step daughters one of which was a victim. I have the right to take my kids. They hate me for I don't believe in his innocence. Really hard to explain the " why".
You obviously have never had to deal with my 12 year old grandson
harrissimo, maybe not yours, but a lot of others, remember, I worked at a youth detention facility where to get there you had to have been guilty of at least one murder...
I'm having trouble with my 3 boys (9,7&6) they tell me "I hate you" "your mean" also I ask them to say please when asking me for anything (ex. Mom get me something to drink) -_- I've been teaching them to say please since they started talking. I ask them nicely & calm to kindly clean up what they took out or clean up the mess they had made, they do it very angry/sloppy when they know that upsets me. I am at my wit's end as a single mother 😰
I hear you, Flaca .B. Parenting is the toughest job, and when you're doing it alone, it's even harder. You're on the right track with staying calm. Have you seen my video "Teaching Kids Responsibility - Positive Parenting"? That's a good one to start with and you can find it here: ua-cam.com/video/1SFIc2LsHyA/v-deo.html. We also have a whole Positive Parenting playlist here: ua-cam.com/play/PLq2mRDkHEBPCclxt6agg3wrLBRkL7CCwU.html. I even have a video for kids called "How To Convince Your Parents To Get A Dog," that helps them understand control and maturity: ua-cam.com/video/v-o7L_Mwbgw/v-deo.html. Lastly, if you think some personal coaching might be helpful, we have a free 25 minute breakthrough call with one of my Live On Purpose coaches. You can schedule that here: DrPaulJenkins.com/breakthroughcall. Thank you for all your hard work!
My 5 y o says. You are not the boss. I am the boss hahah
ash Edyson, glad you are setting things straight and keep on laughing.
It's a dang five year old. You really think they have any clue what respect is?
Children should not always obey authority. Kids know when so.ething is wrong. They should be taught to trust their instincts and ask for help when adults tell them to do things they know are wrong or that they are not comfortable with.
Britney R, yes, we should have these discussions with our children also. Thanks for commenting.
I respectfully disagree.
A person can be nice without respecting somebody.
For example, I can be nice to my drunkard uncle but it doesn't mean I respect him.
Can anyone else comment on this?
Thank you
Rishen Gopaldass, we always have the choice and yes, even if we don't respect someone, we should always be kind.
How to teach kids respect.
1. Teach adults respect. If you want a child to respect you, respect them. Obviously the adult has more freedom of what and what not to say to the child but respecting a child can teach a child to respect the adult, and then soon the child will respect others.
2. Teach adults what answering back actually means. So many adults have zero clue what answering back means and say to a child "you're answering back" when they really aren't. This causes the child to lose respect for the adult.
Thank you for watching and taking the time to comment.
Respect count:
🔄8
Thanks for watching, Lily Wolfie_Gacha16.
At what age should you first start to teach a child respect?
In my opinion it's never to early to start talking about it with them
From day one, Dontdalla, it is being kind and a child needs that nurture from the beginning. We should always talk to them, even if they can't understand, that is part of language acquisition and then conversations will be normal between parent and child.
Has anyone heared of respecting your children
The Decent player, yes. when we show respect they can model the behavior. I often tell parents one thing they can say to their child who is out of control is I will talk to you when you are talking like I am (calmly).
I have a buddy that has a 3 yr old girl, and he is a soft father, and the child is a spoiled brat because of it.. it’s so frustrating because I’m basically the uncle, and I have watch my buddy be a soft father. He spanks her but doesn’t give her time outs. She has no bedtime, and doesn’t respect her elders! He never listens to me because I’m not a dad.. so Maybe I’ll send him this video! It probably won’t make a difference because he is stubborn. Can anyone give me some advice?
I don't respect my mom because she looks through my phone
Deric Lam, have you given her a reason to be looking through the phone? Does she pay for it? Does she see it as her possession because she does? Sounds like time to talk through a few things, calmly.
How about teens next for how rude they are saying mean things to me
Plush Anime Fight, I hear what you are saying.
I don't know why there are parents looking for shortcuts to parenting.
Ulie Pavone, it is a 24/7 job that we work on.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV exactly.
What is the point of watching these my mom always hurts me everyday
gello bonvin, this is sad to read. I hope in the future you can parent your children differently.
My heart broke when I read this I hope you know that you are loved unconditionally by the only one who knows every single thing about you good and bad. I am proud of you for watching videos to try and be a better daughter but just know if she is intentionally hurting you it is not your fault and I pray for healing in your relationship and peace that surpasses all understanding to fill your heart thank you Jesus for the freedom that only you can offer.
Sorry to hear that ;(
My mom thought teaching respect was beating my siblings with coathangers😬and drawing back on them with a broom. Havent been to her house since.
The Quiet Kid, glad you understand that is not teaching respect. Sounds like abuse.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV cps investigated her twice, but all they did was make her take anger management classes which didnt help. She almost got investigated a 3rd time too.
Coming from the Caribbean by the time you are 5...you better have all this down...
because one look from your grandmother and that's all she wrote...
I keep my garbage in my hand until I come upon a garbage bin...
I live in new york city...
You are a great example.
I had a parent tell me to move out of the way of their child even though I was out of their way (I was stood at the kirb waiting for a bus and the whole path was clear) I was exasperrated by the entitlement the parent was teaching their child. That is surely not good. Anyway I did move out of the way so the child didn't go right into the road(they were ona scooter).
As parents, we need to model kindness so children know what it looks like.
Please buy and read..
‘The most dangerous superstition’
by Larken Rose.
It will make you re-evaluate authority completely. Peace 🙏
Will have to look it up.
Playback speed 1.5 - you're welcome 😎
Thanks.
When the kid out of no where scream at you're face and tell you no . Then only be nice buy him a bike our given what they want and you will see how they would slap you later on.
Look rule one be firm on youre word and if he try to test you're limit and get physical then show him you are the parent and if he need a whoop give it
DONT OVER DO IT with heart broken but give it and you will see how he would come later to hug you and be respectful.
Even the Bible say does ho lift the whip and doesn't let it fall on their kid for correction that kid is like an orphan.
Thank you for watching and commenting.
Also you now have young ones calling elders of any age “sweetie” & “honey” & “baby” …when it’s suppose to be the complete opposite, but like everything else in this culture that has flip flopped as well.
Karen Lower, I remember when that never would have happened. Of course, I grew up in a small town.
0:38
1:16 (small or unimportant)
3:57 squirt toothpaste on a note card and put it back. Hard right? Difficult to take something back. Not impossible, but difficult
Help anyone who is not violating one or two.
Thanks!