Because of how my wife and I save money and live within our means, our family thinks we're "just doing ok". I'm happy that no one in either family knows just how well we are actually doing. My advice, let them all think you're broke and they won't come to you with their money problems!
Learned this at 16 through listening to Dave. I was working in fast food but my family were draining me dry whilst they had nice cars and mortgages. So glad I learned then.
@@fonz-ys6xu I know the toll addicted parents take on their children. I’ve never seen my dad sober in my life. There’s a lot we then need to learn as adults to make up for the “education” we got at home. You sound like a strong person. God bless you.
I grew up poor and still have family that acts like I need to support them throughout adulthood. I learned very quickly that “helping” them out all the time would eventually bleed me dry.
This was my Mom’s problem. I love that she’s a giver but I watched her give endlessly to her family thinking (because of what she was taught,) as the eldest, she was to support them. When she was in need, not one person, was there. When she was in the hospital, I was the only one there. She gave to the point that she lost money and when her health became an issue, no one could find the time to even visit or call.
Hi Jackie, hope you are well. My friend actually has social anxiety as well and it's not easy to be around people at all. Hope all goes well with you my friend
😊... in our tradition, when someone start to behave out of character or start to do demiging things to himself or people around himself we ask... "Which devil has entered you?"
Getting a job would probably be good for the 20 year olds. I used to be shy when i was a teenager. I couldn't even talk to people i didn't know on the phone. Then i got a couple of jobs in retail and later a job in customer service answering phones. And now I'll talk to anyone.
One of the reasons I told my high schooler that he has to have a job this next school year. It's good to deal with the public, a boss, and co-workers. And making money is important too!
Same. I had CRIPPLING shyness and social anxiety before having my first job. Turned 17, started working and now I can walk into a room of strangers and strike up conversations with anyone. I also had trauma and emotional damage growing up like the girls in the video, but learned to adapt! There is hope for people like us lol. Now my problems don't rule me, because I have the will to fix them, and God has also helped so much.
This is so true. Same for me. Whatever happened to facing your fears? My 17 year old son would turn in applications but never go in or talk to anyone or follow up on the phone. So I put him in the car and drove him around to place after place. Sometimes they just need a push. He ended up getting a cash job for a stranger that he was so excited for.
I was extremely shy. But need forced me to push myself. I have an extra job interviewing people on the phone. I actually hate it, but what can I do, I need the money. I'm never going to be an extrovert, but I am a highly functioning introvert.
@@Austenfan177 , you'd be surprised at how many people tell me they can't work because they don't respond well to authority and have difficulty around other people.
@@Austenfan177, I don't think anyone does. But, that's the beauty of old school parenting. It builds character so we're not always chasing the next best thing. Now, I get it. If things are absolutely unbearable, then yes, by all means, change it. But, also keep in mind there's no utopia. You have to make it your own.
@@maxxedout2020There are plenty ways God can tell you what you need to hear. He doesn't need a thumbs-up emojy. If you are not sure, try starting by listening to the words He gave us in the bible
As my mothers daughter. I’m not responsible for her behavior and living situation. She is an adult and is capable of helping herself. I have set boundaries with family. I’m not helping anyone who doesn’t want to help themselves.
Man did I need to hear this today. In a situation where the wife’s sister is coming to us in need of help making her car and rent payment this month. Wife just wants to give her the money because she’s family and “that’s what you do for family”. However, I asked for her to write out her monthly budget and she needs to come over and discuss with me before I give any money. Long story short she’s got more money in bills than she does in income leaving no money for food on the table and I’m still expected to give her $1000. Some bs!
I understand. I'm like your wife but it's my parents. For whatever reason we feel guilty saying no. I'm going to get the book Dave recommended. Maybe try getting it and going over it with your wife.
@@AmberCaprie I’m definitely buying the book. I may disagree with Dave from time to time but when it comes to digging yourself out of the mud it’s Dave’s words coming from my mouth to friends and family. His teachings got me out of the mud and once we started making traction and saving money boy were we blessed financially!
@Hershey - If she has cable, that’s the first thing she can dump to have more money. I’d make her cancel any unnecessary things that are taking her money before I’d help her.
Telling my daughters “no” while they were growing up did more for them to learn how to stand on their own two feet than anything I learned from my parents . You must make them learn how to stand by not holding them up, it’s a muscle they have to develop for themselves. The most valuable lessons are the ones you let them learn on their own, it cannot be given to them.
I know plenty of physically and mentally disabled people with jobs. When I was younger working in retail I would have some coworkers who were mentally disabled doing things like pricing and easy stocking for a few hours a day. There are organization that can help people with disabilities find employment if that person truly wants it. I've also worked with deaf and people in wheelchairs. There's very few people in society who can't work at all.
My brother had Down Syndrome (he died 23 years ago). He went to a special sheltered workshop. They gave him a laundry basket full of papers and his "job" was to transfer the papers to another laundry basket. The workers would then have him start all over again.
Dave: "Why don't they work?" Sweet Lady: "They are emotionally damaged or get counseling and are too shy to interview." Dave: "Yeah, they need to get a job."
Bro, this is insane right? They can work in Amazon they don’t need an Inter🤣🤣 now a days there are job when you literally don’t have to interview 🤣🤣 I know they won’t make 200k a year with an Amazon but at least they can eat without asking this couple
I'm shy too but I had no choice but to work. I can't imagine being so dependent on others. You could lose everything the second they gain the strength to tell you no.
Thanks for sharing all this. My mom was an alcoholic and had a gambling addiction. This was back when I served in the navy. She would go to the recruiting office and complain the navy is not giving her my $$$. She would also write to the Chaplin and my CO. It was nuts. She never got help and I never gave her any $$$. She never worked for the most part either. Just wanted hand outs. She passed away a few years ago from drinking too much. I think I did the right thing not giving her any $$$.
You did the right thing. The money would only have supported the addictions. I know the weight and guilt of your decision. It was the right decision. I pray God wraps you in his love and fills you with his grace. May the peace of the Lord be with you!
@@sonalioberoi He is clearly introducing the other personalities into the Ramsey Show because he is over 60 years old. He can't continue to do this forever, and honestly at some point he has a life to live.
@@sonalioberoi he has said that he wants to always do the live shows as long as he can but he clearly takes a lot more time off these days and it's very rare that there's ever just a show with Dave only. The newest thing I saw was that for the first time some of the thumbnails where he's on the segment are the co-host not him. So it's just a gradual transition. Which I get. If it was just only Dave and then suddenly one day he wasn't there it would be really jarring and probably hard for a lot of people to want to watch the show at all. It also lets them see how different co-hosts do and how people respond to each.
He has a lot of experience in life, a lot of his wisdom comes from that too. Nobody can tell where the younger hosts will be in the future. We could be surprised!
Help- is doing 10% is what asked and never expect your money back. Help 1 time only if you want and can and 90% the other person have to outsource themselves. Saving - is doing 100% for another adult what they should have had done themself. If you keep carrying , they never learn to walk on they own feet. Another adult is not your responsibility
It’s cruel to enable these 20 year old, not forcing them out to work. Does the caller think these 20 year olds will start having good work ethics in their 30s, 40s? It’s not going to change. I am in my early 50s. Back in the days, I have known several ppl in their 20s living with their moms having no career direction, goals. Now, they are in their 50s, have not established any career path, “single” and in desperate financial situations. One is fighting eviction proceeding - otherwise he WILL be homeless. I blame their mothers for not kicking them out when they were in their 20s, leaving their sons dependent and helpless.
I'm glad my wife makes my son do chores at least. The school doesn't even give him homework. When I was in my early 20's just out of college, I had a BAD experience trying to teach disrespectful kids and I left the job. I was unemployed for seven months and living with my dad before working various jobs from being a tutor to working at a grain elevator. Eventually I got an accounting job, and went back to school for accounting. I'm really surprised my dad didn't push me more during that time I was unemployed. I think it was because he was just happy I was back home since my mom died a few years before, and he felt bad for me that I had such a bad teaching experience. I'm happy to say now that for the past 10 years or so the worst thing I've ever bummed off of my dad was an ice cream cone.
They don't need to move out to learn life skills. Many 20 year Olds at home with parents but they WORK and do CHORES so they can save money while learning independence and life skills, not freeload and complain. Living at home doesn't give an adult a pass to be a bum and this is on the parents RAISE YOUR KIDS RIGHT in the first place.
I think it makes more sense to kick them out to college..at least then they will ger use to being independent and by the time they graduate will more than likely not want to live at home anymore after having freedom from parenta rules...after i graduated frm college i got a job and moved into my own place many friends moved in with
A friend of mine who was a generous person due to saving and managing his finances well, passed away a few years ago. The SHEER amount of people who came to his widow asking for money was ridiculous in the extremes. Her children had to take turns staying with her in her house to keep these people at bay. It was about a year and a half before it finally stopped. Her children even had to get nasty with a few of the people who were persisting. I'm all for being generous and helping others but it's also important to know how to set boundary's because there are people who DO NOT WANT TO be self-reliant and have no shame whatsoever.
What's sad is the people they're helping are probably saying that they don't give them hardly anything. They probably bad mouth the house, and say they're rich, and not doing much to help. They probably also think that they lord it over them, and don't really appreciate it at all. I was severely mentally ill...my parents thought I was a loser so one day I got sick of it, suffered and went back into the U.S. Army. You can't ever tell me that anyone who is not over-the-top impaired can't get a ho hum job, and take care of themselves! I pulled my weight, and did my duty all the while talking in my head to people who weren't there. I did eventually get the help and medication I needed, but I have no respect for someone who won't at least try to take care of themselves!!
Damaged and too shy to interview. Bless her heart she really believes that. I used to hear that about my 15 year old niece. I told my mother if you keep giving her money you will not like the results. Now she's 31 and just now STARTING to adult with a less than 10k net worth.
Leave and cleave . You are only responsible for the family that you made , it came from . It’s not their responsibility to make up for loss, bad decisions and lack of planning on their family’s part .
I think Dave goes a little harder when Rachel's sitting next to him, he feels like he has to put his foot down because his daughter is listening. What a great man.
People need to start taking responsibility for their actions and stop blaming everyone else. I constantly hear people blame God, past trauma, childhood, their jobs, the Race card.
I didn’t really hear in the conversation that the caller’s family knew they the caller and her husband were doing better, prompting them to ask for money. If so, the caller and her husband should keep their finances private from the family.
My Dad's side of the family didn't care whether my parents were doing well or not! It was all about them and they knew/know how to play my dad to get the $$ out of him. He still pulls crazy stunts behind my mother's back.
The other way is if you give someone money and then thry come back and ask for more, then you do it again...they now think you've got money! Also because there is no interest and no consequences for not paying it back, it's better than a bank. Word gets around the family that you gave money and now everyone is asking to help their "emergencies "
Familial boundaries are absolute. Without them, you open your god-given life to the worst of the chaos of your bloodline that still holds original sin.
I'm blessed that I was raised by a hardworking single woman that she sacrificed her life and always put herself last ti raise me well. She doesn't need my help at all and she has a good retirement after a 40 years military career but for whatever reason she needs anything I would give her my eyes and work 3 jobs if I have to to help her. My father left me when I was 3 For sake of God I will help him if I can just to get blessing but he'll no put myself in debt or work my butt off for his wrong behaviors
To all parents out there if you really and genuinely love your children, you will make sure to train and prepare them for the real world and at the same time you parents must not think that your children are not your retirement fund. You brought them to the world, so be responsible for their upbringing.
You definitely have to have boundaries and use discernment. There are many ways you can help, it doesn't have to be transactional. It is up to them whether they accept that help or not.
Her mind is muddled. She needs to write down the people she cares about and just be thoughtful. And then she needs to write ✍ herself and her husband - and prevent them from being desperately poor elderly.
My mother was and still bad with money she use to go on vacation and don’t pay her bills and mortgage then few months after vacation come to her kids and say she need help with her bills I was the only one that said no and she hate me for that and I told her I don’t this all the time I spend your money on what u want then come to your kids to pay your bills so I don’t feel bad at all not helping with her bills
My son is 18 years old, I instilled work ethic in him, I am not throwing money at him. He need to work and go to college. My daughter is 14, she’s volunteering. Nothing comes easy.
We grew up with out a home, living in a tiny trailer, airstream, and mobile home, before living tiny was the thing. My parents never took us on not one vacation cause my Dad was busy giving his hard earned money to his family till my mom put her foot down. Thanks to my mom my parents have now home that they could move into if they need to.
I don't understand what's so hard about saying no. Especially when psychobabble is involved. The extended dolts need to grow up and this lady needs to set boundaries.
Every 16 to 22 year old swear they have depression and anxiety disorder talking to ppl gives you anxiety expect when its time to order food or go to a restaurant and eat magically it goes away
I have an ex who would use God to justify all her unwise decisions. I broke up with her promptly, I can’t stand using Christianity as an excuse for insane decisions.
2:24 q{ Biblically, there is no mandate for you to support misbehavior } Correct. The only/real reason to consider, if you are able to, would be 'if accident/disaster/sickness.'
Amazing video, A friend of mine referred me to a financial adviser sometime ago and we got to talking about investment and money. I started investing with $150k and in the first 2 months, my portfolio was reading $274,800. Crazy right!, I decided to reinvest my profit and get more interesting. For over a year we have been working together making consistent profit just bought my second home 2 weeks ago and care for my family.
Hi. I’ve been forced to find additional sources of income as I got retrenched. I barely have time to continue trading and watch my investments since I had my second child. Do you think I should take a break for a while from the market and focus on other things or return whenever I have free time or is it a continuous process? Thanks
@@lennoxmutterick6434 However, if you do not have access to a professional like JUDITH ANN PEACE, quitting your job to focus on trading may not be the best approach. It is important to consider all options and seek guidance from reliable sources before making any major decisions. Consulting with an AI or using automated trading systems can also be helpful in managing investments while balancing other commitments
First of all , the parents are low income they need to apply for food assistance, if they are above the income limit for food assistance, what are they doing with their money you need to run a budget with them, you keep giving them money you're enabling especially if they're not helping themselves
"How can you not help your family?" Because you are NOT helping them. You are cursing them. The Bible is very clear about sluggards. Sluggards are lazy people who constantly make bad choices, and they ask everyone around them to pay for their mistakes. Giving them money is a CURSE you place on their life. The Bible states that when you help these people, you keep them in captivity. The only thing that will free a lazy person is "hunger pains and the struggle of poverty." Your prayer should be that they experience the weight of their actions as soon as possible so they can change as soon as possible. This woman thinks she is innocent when, in reality, she knows it's wrong. She just doesn't want to deal with confrontation. Enabling is abuse. Helping is a blessing. Know the difference: Helping is doing for others, which they CANNOT do for themselves. As Christians, we are called to help. Enabling is doing for others, which they SHOULD be doing for themselves. Enabling is NOT something we should be doing as Christians. The Bible is crystal clear.
TOO SHY TO INTERVIEW???? What a terrible excuse to not work. Learn, grow, do what it takes to be able to EAT. Good grief. People have lost the ability to overcome adversity.
One drowning person can't save the other. They place their wants above anything else. No importance on taking any responsibility for their lifestyle. They are never going to get on their feet no matter how much money you throw at them.1
They get anxiety interviewing? Create your own business, talk to your network and ask if they’re hiring, take a class on overcoming interview anxiety… stop making excuses and find solutions.
EVERYBODY GETS IT FROM DAVE!!😂 Folks never want to take responsibility for their own actions and behaviors and it’s NOT the next person’s responsibility to enable others. This teaches them absolutely nothing but to be irresponsible people who believe other folks or even God is responsible for coming to clean up the mess they made. The audacity!!
No else is doing better... and the one doing better... did he pay you back? If family doesn't pay you back then why are you helping them. Help is "here, you need this and I can give it." Or "here you need this and I can let you borrow this." If they care as much as you then they will pay you back. If they don't.. then you have zero obligation to ever "help" them again.
Because of how my wife and I save money and live within our means, our family thinks we're "just doing ok". I'm happy that no one in either family knows just how well we are actually doing. My advice, let them all think you're broke and they won't come to you with their money problems!
At 36 years old
Learned this at 16 through listening to Dave. I was working in fast food but my family were draining me dry whilst they had nice cars and mortgages. So glad I learned then.
I was burned like that before at 19. One of my parents is a gambling addict.
Compulsive would be watering it down.
@@fonz-ys6xu I know the toll addicted parents take on their children. I’ve never seen my dad sober in my life. There’s a lot we then need to learn as adults to make up for the “education” we got at home. You sound like a strong person. God bless you.
I grew up poor and still have family that acts like I need to support them throughout adulthood. I learned very quickly that “helping” them out all the time would eventually bleed me dry.
Flip it on them and start hitting them up for money before they even ask you. Tell them you're broke.
@@SerErryk 🤣🤣🤣
I just block them
This was my Mom’s problem. I love that she’s a giver but I watched her give endlessly to her family thinking (because of what she was taught,) as the eldest, she was to support them. When she was in need, not one person, was there. When she was in the hospital, I was the only one there. She gave to the point that she lost money and when her health became an issue, no one could find the time to even visit or call.
I have social anxiety and understand not wanting to work around ppl. I clean offices by myself. Works great!
Right, that's why I mentioned in my comment, "suitable work."
You should really get help with your anxiety it’s ganna hurt you in the long run 🏃♀️ good luck 🍀👍
Hi Jackie, hope you are well. My friend actually has social anxiety as well and it's not easy to be around people at all. Hope all goes well with you my friend
The devil comes to you in tears saying, “But we’re FAMILY!”.
😊... in our tradition, when someone start to behave out of character or start to do demiging things to himself or people around himself we ask...
"Which devil has entered you?"
@@lillysnet9345 nigerian??
😅hilarious
@@lillysnet9345 Sounds German. Welcher Teufel ist in dich gefahren?
Getting a job would probably be good for the 20 year olds. I used to be shy when i was a teenager. I couldn't even talk to people i didn't know on the phone. Then i got a couple of jobs in retail and later a job in customer service answering phones. And now I'll talk to anyone.
One of the reasons I told my high schooler that he has to have a job this next school year. It's good to deal with the public, a boss, and co-workers. And making money is important too!
Same. I had CRIPPLING shyness and social anxiety before having my first job. Turned 17, started working and now I can walk into a room of strangers and strike up conversations with anyone. I also had trauma and emotional damage growing up like the girls in the video, but learned to adapt! There is hope for people like us lol. Now my problems don't rule me, because I have the will to fix them, and God has also helped so much.
This is so true. Same for me. Whatever happened to facing your fears? My 17 year old son would turn in applications but never go in or talk to anyone or follow up on the phone. So I put him in the car and drove him around to place after place. Sometimes they just need a push. He ended up getting a cash job for a stranger that he was so excited for.
Me too! Best thing 😊
I was extremely shy. But need forced me to push myself. I have an extra job interviewing people on the phone. I actually hate it, but what can I do, I need the money. I'm never going to be an extrovert, but I am a highly functioning introvert.
"They're emotionally damaged and too shy to interview." Its like she isn't hearing her own words and the silliness of them.
It sounds completely crazy. This whole clip blows my mind.
@@anthonybrown06 The whole clip is really stressful to listen to.
@@Austenfan177 , you'd be surprised at how many people tell me they can't work because they don't respond well to authority and have difficulty around other people.
@@Austenfan177 That sums it up
@@Austenfan177, I don't think anyone does. But, that's the beauty of old school parenting. It builds character so we're not always chasing the next best thing. Now, I get it. If things are absolutely unbearable, then yes, by all means, change it. But, also keep in mind there's no utopia. You have to make it your own.
I grew up in an abusive household.
I moved out at 15.
I have never regretted doing that, and GOD has never sent any message to me to the contrary.
If only I did that, when I wanted to! But a precious lesson was learnt.
If I'm not mistaken, God gave your comment a "Thumbs up", just before I did.
God can't send messages.
@@maxxedout2020sorry bud but that's not true
@@maxxedout2020There are plenty ways God can tell you what you need to hear. He doesn't need a thumbs-up emojy. If you are not sure, try starting by listening to the words He gave us in the bible
As my mothers daughter. I’m not responsible for her behavior and living situation. She is an adult and is capable of helping herself. I have set boundaries with family. I’m not helping anyone who doesn’t want to help themselves.
You better PREACH!! I absolutely agree.
Man did I need to hear this today. In a situation where the wife’s sister is coming to us in need of help making her car and rent payment this month. Wife just wants to give her the money because she’s family and “that’s what you do for family”. However, I asked for her to write out her monthly budget and she needs to come over and discuss with me before I give any money. Long story short she’s got more money in bills than she does in income leaving no money for food on the table and I’m still expected to give her $1000. Some bs!
I understand. I'm like your wife but it's my parents. For whatever reason we feel guilty saying no. I'm going to get the book Dave recommended. Maybe try getting it and going over it with your wife.
Please let me do it if you don’t feel like it.
@@AmberCaprie I’m definitely buying the book. I may disagree with Dave from time to time but when it comes to digging yourself out of the mud it’s Dave’s words coming from my mouth to friends and family. His teachings got me out of the mud and once we started making traction and saving money boy were we blessed financially!
@Hershey - If she has cable, that’s the first thing she can dump to have more money. I’d make her cancel any unnecessary things that are taking her money before I’d help her.
@@hersheyskwertz9315 Yay.
Fairly new listener here.
He made me change my finances within 48 hours.
Telling my daughters “no” while they were growing up did more for them to learn how to stand on their own two feet than anything I learned from my parents .
You must make them learn how to stand by not holding them up, it’s a muscle they have to develop for themselves. The most valuable lessons are the ones you let them learn on their own, it cannot be given to them.
Dave has absolutely the best words and puts them together perfectly! Love his candidness.
I know plenty of physically and mentally disabled people with jobs. When I was younger working in retail I would have some coworkers who were mentally disabled doing things like pricing and easy stocking for a few hours a day. There are organization that can help people with disabilities find employment if that person truly wants it. I've also worked with deaf and people in wheelchairs. There's very few people in society who can't work at all.
Very VERY few.
My brother had Down Syndrome (he died 23 years ago). He went to a special sheltered workshop. They gave him a laundry basket full of papers and his "job" was to transfer the papers to another laundry basket. The workers would then have him start all over again.
@@happydays1336 - surely they could've been more industrious with him?
Dave: "Why don't they work?"
Sweet Lady: "They are emotionally damaged or get counseling and are too shy to interview."
Dave: "Yeah, they need to get a job."
This generation is weak
Bro, this is insane right? They can work in Amazon they don’t need an Inter🤣🤣 now a days there are job when you literally don’t have to interview 🤣🤣 I know they won’t make 200k a year with an Amazon but at least they can eat without asking this couple
I'm shy too but I had no choice but to work. I can't imagine being so dependent on others. You could lose everything the second they gain the strength to tell you no.
😅
He’s right
Thanks for sharing all this. My mom was an alcoholic and had a gambling addiction. This was back when I served in the navy. She would go to the recruiting office and complain the navy is not giving her my $$$. She would also write to the Chaplin and my CO. It was nuts. She never got help and I never gave her any $$$. She never worked for the most part either. Just wanted hand outs. She passed away a few years ago from drinking too much. I think I did the right thing not giving her any $$$.
That’s so sad and I bet it was exhausting and embarrassing. Sorry you had to go through that.
If you gave her money, it would have sped up her demise.
I am so sorry you experienced that in your life. You did the absolute right thing🙏🙏🙏
You did the right thing. The money would only have supported the addictions. I know the weight and guilt of your decision. It was the right decision. I pray God wraps you in his love and fills you with his grace. May the peace of the Lord be with you!
I’m going to miss Dave when he’s gone. None of the other personalities have what it takes like Dave does.
Where is he going?!
@@sonalioberoi He is clearly introducing the other personalities into the Ramsey Show because he is over 60 years old. He can't continue to do this forever, and honestly at some point he has a life to live.
@@agjios ah gotcha, thanks. My first thought was whether he’d announced his retirement.
@@sonalioberoi he has said that he wants to always do the live shows as long as he can but he clearly takes a lot more time off these days and it's very rare that there's ever just a show with Dave only.
The newest thing I saw was that for the first time some of the thumbnails where he's on the segment are the co-host not him.
So it's just a gradual transition. Which I get. If it was just only Dave and then suddenly one day he wasn't there it would be really jarring and probably hard for a lot of people to want to watch the show at all.
It also lets them see how different co-hosts do and how people respond to each.
He has a lot of experience in life, a lot of his wisdom comes from that too. Nobody can tell where the younger hosts will be in the future. We could be surprised!
Help- is doing 10% is what asked and never expect your money back. Help 1 time only if you want and can and 90% the other person have to outsource themselves.
Saving - is doing 100% for another adult what they should have had done themself. If you keep carrying , they never learn to walk on they own feet. Another adult is not your responsibility
Boundaries is an EXCELLENT book!!! Good advice Dave!!!
Hold on, we're going to send you a copy of Ken's new book from paycheck to purpose.
I discovered the Ramsey Show a couple days and now I'm hooked binge watching. He and his daughter make a great team.
It’s cruel to enable these 20 year old, not forcing them out to work. Does the caller think these 20 year olds will start having good work ethics in their 30s, 40s? It’s not going to change. I am in my early 50s. Back in the days, I have known several ppl in their 20s living with their moms having no career direction, goals. Now, they are in their 50s, have not established any career path, “single” and in desperate financial situations. One is fighting eviction proceeding - otherwise he WILL be homeless. I blame their mothers for not kicking them out when they were in their 20s, leaving their sons dependent and helpless.
atleast their single
@@mikemcbeth3216 Problem is they did NOT want to be single.
I'm glad my wife makes my son do chores at least. The school doesn't even give him homework. When I was in my early 20's just out of college, I had a BAD experience trying to teach disrespectful kids and I left the job. I was unemployed for seven months and living with my dad before working various jobs from being a tutor to working at a grain elevator. Eventually I got an accounting job, and went back to school for accounting. I'm really surprised my dad didn't push me more during that time I was unemployed. I think it was because he was just happy I was back home since my mom died a few years before, and he felt bad for me that I had such a bad teaching experience. I'm happy to say now that for the past 10 years or so the worst thing I've ever bummed off of my dad was an ice cream cone.
They don't need to move out to learn life skills. Many 20 year Olds at home with parents but they WORK and do CHORES so they can save money while learning independence and life skills, not freeload and complain. Living at home doesn't give an adult a pass to be a bum and this is on the parents RAISE YOUR KIDS RIGHT in the first place.
I think it makes more sense to kick them out to college..at least then they will ger use to being independent and by the time they graduate will more than likely not want to live at home anymore after having freedom from parenta rules...after i graduated frm college i got a job and moved into my own place many friends moved in with
A friend of mine who was a generous person due to saving and managing his finances well, passed away a few years ago. The SHEER amount of people who came to his widow asking for money was ridiculous in the extremes. Her children had to take turns staying with her in her house to keep these people at bay. It was about a year and a half before it finally stopped. Her children even had to get nasty with a few of the people who were persisting. I'm all for being generous and helping others but it's also important to know how to set boundary's because there are people who DO NOT WANT TO be self-reliant and have no shame whatsoever.
Boy oh boy, you talk about perfect examples of excuses!! That's Enabling. Way to go Dave!
What's sad is the people they're helping are probably saying that they don't give them hardly anything. They probably bad mouth the house, and say they're rich, and not doing much to help. They probably also think that they lord it over them, and don't really appreciate it at all. I was severely mentally ill...my parents thought I was a loser so one day I got sick of it, suffered and went back into the U.S. Army. You can't ever tell me that anyone who is not over-the-top impaired can't get a ho hum job, and take care of themselves! I pulled my weight, and did my duty all the while talking in my head to people who weren't there. I did eventually get the help and medication I needed, but I have no respect for someone who won't at least try to take care of themselves!!
When you get something that you don’t work for, you don’t appreciate it as much .
Usually end up resenting the giver!
There’s a fine line between helping and enabling .
There’s no way I would give anyone money who isn’t trying to be better.
What does it say about their family? Their own family has taken advantage of their kindness. Speaks volumes.
Damaged and too shy to interview. Bless her heart she really believes that. I used to hear that about my 15 year old niece. I told my mother if you keep giving her money you will not like the results. Now she's 31 and just now STARTING to adult with a less than 10k net worth.
Leave and cleave . You are only responsible for the family that you made , it came from . It’s not their responsibility to make up for loss, bad decisions and lack of planning on their family’s part .
How much do you want to bet that the phone, internet, and TV bill is about $600 a month in that house.
I think Dave goes a little harder when Rachel's sitting next to him, he feels like he has to put his foot down because his daughter is listening. What a great man.
She always looks like she wants to say more than she does
Mathew 5:42 …..give to him that asketh of thee
My friend has spend so much money on helping out her siblings. They take advantage of her. But she allows it.
Respecting the parents doesn't mean helping them be idiots.
People need to start taking responsibility for their actions and stop blaming everyone else. I constantly hear people blame God, past trauma, childhood, their jobs, the Race card.
I didn’t really hear in the conversation that the caller’s family knew they the caller and her husband were doing better, prompting them to ask for money. If so, the caller and her husband should keep their finances private from the family.
It's sad when you must keep your joy and success secret
My Dad's side of the family didn't care whether my parents were doing well or not! It was all about them and they knew/know how to play my dad to get the $$ out of him. He still pulls crazy stunts behind my mother's back.
The other way is if you give someone money and then thry come back and ask for more, then you do it again...they now think you've got money! Also because there is no interest and no consequences for not paying it back, it's better than a bank. Word gets around the family that you gave money and now everyone is asking to help their "emergencies "
Familial boundaries are absolute. Without them, you open your god-given life to the worst of the chaos of your bloodline that still holds original sin.
This is where people get Honor thy Mother and Father mix up. Your not response for their bad actions.
I'm blessed that I was raised by a hardworking single woman that she sacrificed her life and always put herself last ti raise me well. She doesn't need my help at all and she has a good retirement after a 40 years military career but for whatever reason she needs anything I would give her my eyes and work 3 jobs if I have to to help her. My father left me when I was 3 For sake of God I will help him if I can just to get blessing but he'll no put myself in debt or work my butt off for his wrong behaviors
To all parents out there if you really and genuinely love your children, you will make sure to train and prepare them for the real world and at the same time you parents must not think that your children are not your retirement fund.
You brought them to the world, so be responsible for their upbringing.
"They're emotionally damaged and too shy to interview" Isn't that like almost everyone at some point?? LOL
They turned natural anxiety into a mental illness.
You definitely have to have boundaries and use discernment. There are many ways you can help, it doesn't have to be transactional. It is up to them whether they accept that help or not.
That book Dave recommended. Get it! I read that thing more than once, highlighted, noted, everything! It’s my go to!
50 shades of gray!
My mother’s side harassed my parents for years for money. My dad had to put a stop to it. I think he still helps them out occasionally.
6:51 Bless your heart!
Her mind is muddled. She needs to write down the people she cares about and just be thoughtful. And then she needs to write ✍ herself and her husband - and prevent them from being desperately poor elderly.
Great content!!!! I'm sure thousands if not hundreds of thousands can relate to this video.
So true!!! And they want you to feel bad for doing well!!!
My mother was and still bad with money she use to go on vacation and don’t pay her bills and mortgage then few months after vacation come to her kids and say she need help with her bills I was the only one that said no and she hate me for that and I told her I don’t this all the time I spend your money on what u want then come to your kids to pay your bills so I don’t feel bad at all not helping with her bills
My son is 18 years old, I instilled work ethic in him, I am not throwing money at him. He need to work and go to college.
My daughter is 14, she’s volunteering.
Nothing comes easy.
We grew up with out a home, living in a tiny trailer, airstream, and mobile home, before living tiny was the thing. My parents never took us on not one vacation cause my Dad was busy giving his hard earned money to his family till my mom put her foot down. Thanks to my mom my parents have now home that they could move into if they need to.
I don't understand what's so hard about saying no. Especially when psychobabble is involved. The extended dolts need to grow up and this lady needs to set boundaries.
Every 16 to 22 year old swear they have depression and anxiety disorder talking to ppl gives you anxiety expect when its time to order food or go to a restaurant and eat magically it goes away
I have an ex who would use God to justify all her unwise decisions. I broke up with her promptly, I can’t stand using Christianity as an excuse for insane decisions.
Love them with links to job postings lol
Whoa!!!! I needed to hear this today.
This lady is making excuses for everything
That's how she has been able to keep doing this for so many years - always an excuse for everything.
My thoughts exactly. I don’t think anything is going to change.
People have often used Bible verses or Christian teaching to guilt you into doing their bidding. Classic guilt trip.
2:24 q{ Biblically, there is no mandate for you to support misbehavior } Correct. The only/real reason to consider, if you are able to, would be 'if accident/disaster/sickness.'
Thank you for the video! Was really interesting to hear your advice.
Those two 25 year old nieces will find men's lives to ruin.
I'm picturing Ruth from Ozark but not as self-motivated.
The bible itself may not be a problem, but travel agents for guilt trips sure do use it frequently!!
Don't forget going inside of restaurants.
Love Your quote, travel agent for guilt trip!!!
@@Primitive_Codewhat?!
Enablers are the worst! Excuses, excuses and more excuses. You have taught them that you are weak.
And it said each should carry their own load.
Amazing video, A friend of mine referred me to a financial adviser sometime ago and we got to talking about investment and money. I started investing with $150k and in the first 2 months, my portfolio was reading $274,800. Crazy right!, I decided to reinvest my profit and get more interesting. For over a year we have been working together making consistent profit just bought my second home 2 weeks ago and care for my family.
Hi. I’ve been forced to find additional sources of income as I got retrenched. I barely have time to continue trading and watch my investments since I had my second child. Do you think I should take a break for a while from the market and focus on other things or return whenever I have free time or is it a continuous process? Thanks
@@lennoxmutterick6434 However, if you do not have access to a professional like JUDITH ANN PEACE, quitting your job to focus on trading may not be the best approach. It is important to consider all options and seek guidance from reliable sources before making any major decisions. Consulting with an AI or using automated trading systems can also be helpful in managing investments while balancing other commitments
@@Lourd-Bab Oh please I’d love that. Thanks!
@@lennoxmutterick6434 Judith Ann peace is her name
Lookup with her name on the webpage.
You cannot help people if you dont help youreself first
7:42 is the crux of the video. She needs to be helping them stand on their own.
What would these people do if you weren't here or available? They'd do something, so let them do that.
First of all , the parents are low income they need to apply for food assistance, if they are above the income limit for food assistance, what are they doing with their money you need to run a budget with them, you keep giving them money you're enabling especially if they're not helping themselves
"How can you not help your family?" Because you are NOT helping them. You are cursing them. The Bible is very clear about sluggards. Sluggards are lazy people who constantly make bad choices, and they ask everyone around them to pay for their mistakes. Giving them money is a CURSE you place on their life. The Bible states that when you help these people, you keep them in captivity. The only thing that will free a lazy person is "hunger pains and the struggle of poverty." Your prayer should be that they experience the weight of their actions as soon as possible so they can change as soon as possible. This woman thinks she is innocent when, in reality, she knows it's wrong. She just doesn't want to deal with confrontation. Enabling is abuse. Helping is a blessing. Know the difference:
Helping is doing for others, which they CANNOT do for themselves. As Christians, we are called to help.
Enabling is doing for others, which they SHOULD be doing for themselves. Enabling is NOT something we should be doing as Christians. The Bible is crystal clear.
Sometimes you learn to swim by learning how to not let yourself drown.
Lol he called them parasites lol 😂
TOO SHY TO INTERVIEW???? What a terrible excuse to not work. Learn, grow, do what it takes to be able to EAT. Good grief. People have lost the ability to overcome adversity.
Bless them. They are angels. ❤😊
I would make sure they have no signing authority on that property
6:54 😂
That’s good. Don’t blame the Bible for lack of boundaries
But people will use it to get what they want....Aren't you a Christian? So if you are you would be helping me!
I love the book Boundaries by Henry Cloud. I wish I could buy a copy for my whole family and make them read it.
Those parents would've been moved into a 55+ apartment.
Other emergencies happened.....no, their emergencies happened. You're fine 😂😂
I’m going to help my parents
One drowning person can't save the other. They place their wants above anything else. No importance on taking any responsibility for their lifestyle. They are never going to get on their feet no matter how much money you throw at them.1
This lady is so co-dependent.
She needs to wake up
This is the most Cleveland, Ohio story I've ever heard.
Yep! I was born and raised in Cleveland and you are absolutely right!
They get anxiety interviewing? Create your own business, talk to your network and ask if they’re hiring, take a class on overcoming interview anxiety… stop making excuses and find solutions.
I’ve gone to interviews for practice without even wanting the job.
I too was once a very shy 19 year old.
Not anymore. 😬
I sweat 😓 every time I interview! Hate them but hey I need to do something 🙄
@@frankcardano4142 I'm going to try your method ! I'm horrible at interviewing. Hopefully it will help me find a job where I need to be!
@@meleenabradley3017
I only wish I applied it to dating.
I hate dating.
@@frankcardano4142 I met my husband in a Ta Chi class . We were friends before we started dating. I knew he was the one for me.
Sometimes the analogies don’t make sense that Dave makes, but overall this lady justified making these decisions.
or maybe you simply lack the comprehension to understand them. They were simple basic analogies. k
@@blackspiderman1887🙄
EVERYBODY GETS IT FROM DAVE!!😂 Folks never want to take responsibility for their own actions and behaviors and it’s NOT the next person’s responsibility to enable others. This teaches them absolutely nothing but to be irresponsible people who believe other folks or even God is responsible for coming to clean up the mess they made. The audacity!!
Another ramsey boomer tootin his horn and speaking for the Bible..apostles everywhere with their millions..just like the Pharisees 😆..
Dave is awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rachel never gets to talk.
What a great call!
The "poor" family broke through while the "wealthy" side is having so much trouble. Interesting
"His brother did get out of everything".....for now. Give it more time.
The Bible is open to interpretation. People make it say what they want it to say.
No else is doing better... and the one doing better... did he pay you back? If family doesn't pay you back then why are you helping them. Help is "here, you need this and I can give it." Or "here you need this and I can let you borrow this." If they care as much as you then they will pay you back. If they don't.. then you have zero obligation to ever "help" them again.
Shit my family tries to set me up & blackmail me for my money. They don’t even ask for it they just send subliminal messages.
People need to stop using trauma as an excuse. It's simply not.
Ikr? I hear "trauma" stories and think that's a walk in the park on a sunny, autumn day. 😂🤟
Excuses and more excuses. They are lucky they didn't have to deal with me.
Why would you call into the show and keep making excuses? The answer to this problem is JUST STOP. Just stop! Stop now!
By Believing Passionately In Something
That Still Does Not Exist...We Create It
The Nonexistent Is
Whatever We Have Not Sufficiently Desired
self centered idea.
I appreciate, though, that you're explaining how the enabler justifies her enabling.
Dave says didn't work did it? She say actually it did. He is doing well now. Dave has to pivot quickly.
Also, what about the sister of one of the parents? Is her health bad? Can SHE work? I get why Dave asked about the 20 year olds.