I never had to learn to be quiet & listen in a rowdy, competitive family. But I am learning it’s value, and practicing it. Hopefully it will become more natural vs jumping in & talking more than needed. Enough said 😊
Thank you for this video. As a recovering consultant now coaching within the ICF, holding the space is a constant challenge. Twenty seconds is indeed a long time - particularly in silence - but necessary if the method is going to work. I am working on it.
I agree, it's such an excellent tool. And, 20 seconds can feel like a long time until we practice it and begin to feel comfortable with a new way of being with others. Thank you for the comment!
Well! I definitely found myself with a lot of opinions on this one, a sign that I am engaged in a conversation. But when the guest talked about calling a group of white people "white affinity" she lost me. I found that part of her conversation deeply disturbing to be honest.
I appreciate your thoughts, people come from a lot of different perspectives. I think what is cool is that you get to decide what does and doesn't land for you. It is a sure sign that you are thinking your way through the conversations. This interview was also a year ago, I think people were very aware in that moment of the impact of racism and how it shows up implicitly and explicitly. I guess for me, I am always glad to remind myself that I am not having the same experience as anyone else, and to keep myself open to continuing to explore where I may have biases, etc.
The person of oolor knows you are white when they make that first appointmenet. Why belabor the subject? I've had many coachees of color, and they were honest about facing racism on the job. I supported their efforts to get fair treatment within the organization. I didn't have to say, "I'm white" at any point in my coaching expereince. I think tha't's feeding into the myth of "white guilt". I wasn't born when there was slavery or colonialism, so I bear no responsibiltiy for it.
It's an interesting tension, and thank you for the comment. I am white. And, yes, it shows up in the space without me saying, "I'm white," what doesn't show up is what kind of white person I am; am I the type who is open to acknowledging the difference and who invites my clients of non-white experience teach me? I think that my takeaway from the conversation was that it's essential to recognize that not everyone has my experiences in the world. I understand that I have inherent privilege just by showing up, and not that I am responsible for slavery, but that slavery has impacted a lot of people's history/culture. And that what might work for me in a given situation might not work for them, and be transparent about that. Also, to be open, should my client wish it, to any conversation that doesn't land well, and own if I unintentionally impact them with my implicit biases, ex: Just go in an tell your boss XYZ... Not everyone can do that. That said, I think that if there are 7.8 Billion people on the planet, then there are probably that many different cultural perspectives. So, I do the same thing for all my clients, even the ones who look like me. :) I really appreciate your bringing this comment forward. It's important.
Thanks a lot for this video. Very useful information!
I love her 20 second rule, what was your favorite part?
I never had to learn to be quiet & listen in a rowdy, competitive family. But I am learning it’s value, and practicing it. Hopefully it will become more natural vs jumping in & talking more than needed. Enough said 😊
I am still very much a work in progress on that front myself. It's been one of my most important developmental journeys :) Enough said.
Thank you for this video. As a recovering consultant now coaching within the ICF, holding the space is a constant challenge. Twenty seconds is indeed a long time - particularly in silence - but necessary if the method is going to work. I am working on it.
I agree, it's such an excellent tool. And, 20 seconds can feel like a long time until we practice it and begin to feel comfortable with a new way of being with others. Thank you for the comment!
Well! I definitely found myself with a lot of opinions on this one, a sign that I am engaged in a conversation. But when the guest talked about calling a group of white people "white affinity" she lost me. I found that part of her conversation deeply disturbing to be honest.
I appreciate your thoughts, people come from a lot of different perspectives. I think what is cool is that you get to decide what does and doesn't land for you. It is a sure sign that you are thinking your way through the conversations. This interview was also a year ago, I think people were very aware in that moment of the impact of racism and how it shows up implicitly and explicitly. I guess for me, I am always glad to remind myself that I am not having the same experience as anyone else, and to keep myself open to continuing to explore where I may have biases, etc.
@@LyssadeHartYes, I hope your guest will "continue to explore" her biases...
The person of oolor knows you are white when they make that first appointmenet. Why belabor the subject? I've had many coachees of color, and they were honest about facing racism on the job. I supported their efforts to get fair treatment within the organization. I didn't have to say, "I'm white" at any point in my coaching expereince. I think tha't's feeding into the myth of "white guilt". I wasn't born when there was slavery or colonialism, so I bear no responsibiltiy for it.
It's an interesting tension, and thank you for the comment.
I am white. And, yes, it shows up in the space without me saying, "I'm white," what doesn't show up is what kind of white person I am; am I the type who is open to acknowledging the difference and who invites my clients of non-white experience teach me?
I think that my takeaway from the conversation was that it's essential to recognize that not everyone has my experiences in the world. I understand that I have inherent privilege just by showing up, and not that I am responsible for slavery, but that slavery has impacted a lot of people's history/culture. And that what might work for me in a given situation might not work for them, and be transparent about that. Also, to be open, should my client wish it, to any conversation that doesn't land well, and own if I unintentionally impact them with my implicit biases, ex: Just go in an tell your boss XYZ... Not everyone can do that.
That said, I think that if there are 7.8 Billion people on the planet, then there are probably that many different cultural perspectives. So, I do the same thing for all my clients, even the ones who look like me. :)
I really appreciate your bringing this comment forward. It's important.