Narrative Telephone Ep. 4: Widogast's Web of Words

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  • Опубліковано 1 січ 2025

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  • @thechainwarden
    @thechainwarden 4 роки тому +1291

    Liam: The manga
    Matt: The anime
    Sam: the Netflix adaptation

    • @scarlettkara2762
      @scarlettkara2762 4 роки тому +10

      Yes

    • @hannyboop
      @hannyboop 4 роки тому +68

      So Ashley is the abridged version?

    • @raaazzz9628
      @raaazzz9628 4 роки тому +96

      @@hannyboop Ash is the live-action

    • @ImsexyNiknowit1
      @ImsexyNiknowit1 4 роки тому +22

      Ash is the Tarantino adaptation

    • @C_Bat
      @C_Bat 4 роки тому +21

      Raaazzz 96 Live Action Movie: Gale in the Vortex

  • @celticcountrylover
    @celticcountrylover 4 роки тому +2776

    Liam: peppering his story with German words and phrases
    The rest of the cast: I Know One Thing In German And It's How To Count To Three

    • @toshomni9478
      @toshomni9478 4 роки тому +84

      Do they though? Do they? There were really struggling with the pronunciation on that and it was awesome.

    • @TJCID22
      @TJCID22 4 роки тому +22

      @@toshomni9478 TRY!

    • @Mediados
      @Mediados 4 роки тому +12

      @@TJCID22 you mean VERSUCHE ES

    • @diandradraws4822
      @diandradraws4822 4 роки тому +84

      I as a native German will say props to Liam. I am convinced that he took a German class at some point.
      For the other's I couldn't stop laughing XD

    • @haileybrandjes9120
      @haileybrandjes9120 4 роки тому +53

      @@diandradraws4822 I'm not 100% sure but I think at some point I heard him say he took 3 years of German in highschool

  • @witchlightsands
    @witchlightsands 4 роки тому +3521

    Matt saying “the third kid who for some reason is still there” about an allegorical representation of caleb hits different huh

    • @danielwilson8604
      @danielwilson8604 4 роки тому +60

      because caleb is trying to find the reason?

    • @cathyshepard253
      @cathyshepard253 4 роки тому +367

      Because Caleb was the third to kill his parents. He saw what was coming and he didn’t leave. To quote “I was so sure; until I wasn’t.” -Caleb(Bren)

    • @danielwilson8604
      @danielwilson8604 4 роки тому +45

      @@cathyshepard253 i was trying to say caleb himself is lost and slowly discovering his reason to live and goals in life again

    • @alexmiller9249
      @alexmiller9249 4 роки тому +60

      The kid is still there because he is a Zemnian child and he will never know fear.

    • @matthewanderson2042
      @matthewanderson2042 4 роки тому +40

      Also caleb is the one who did end up running away.

  • @korkoraliasher1132
    @korkoraliasher1132 4 роки тому +3161

    Liam: Creepy story which is an allegory for Caleb's past
    Ashley: Dry kids get mugged in a vortex for their organs

    • @LordDragox412
      @LordDragox412 4 роки тому +69

      Looks like Ashley went to the bad part of NY and saw bad stuff happen in a dark alley... >:P

    • @theodorehsu5023
      @theodorehsu5023 4 роки тому +5

      @@LordDragox412 NY or Bangkok?

    • @sweetpatate2729
      @sweetpatate2729 4 роки тому +14

      HAMNUMNUMNU the good organs

    • @JarVanBinksIV
      @JarVanBinksIV 4 роки тому +29

      not a Vortex, The Vortex coolest club of Rexxentrum

    • @homieseaotter5190
      @homieseaotter5190 4 роки тому +8

      With a steel drum in the background of course

  • @evannewell3335
    @evannewell3335 4 роки тому +3450

    of course Liam managed to turn Narrative Telephone into a way to to tell a harrowing tale that's a metaphor for the empire war machine and caleb's old friends.

    • @JB-xl2jc
      @JB-xl2jc 4 роки тому +132

      I would love to hear whether Caleb thinks the crone/war machine are actually truly what causes the wheat to grow and the land to be successful.

    • @JB-xl2jc
      @JB-xl2jc 4 роки тому +63

      Ma'ayan E Agreed. And just like the story, I find myself wondering... how would the kingdom fare if we refused to continue sacrificing our young?

    • @pyrosianheir
      @pyrosianheir 4 роки тому +100

      That makes me love his all the more. Like, he trolled the rest of the crew with how hard the story was, but then also bothered to have to a second layer... I love it.

    • @Law-of-EnTropy
      @Law-of-EnTropy 4 роки тому +120

      Eodwulf lost the mind to think for himself, Astrid lost her eyes to see the truth and Caleb lost his heart to ever feel again.

    • @belindaluna2067
      @belindaluna2067 4 роки тому +20

      @Danny Dolan Sure they would. That's not just what the hag _wants_ you to think...

  • @Sparking_Ram
    @Sparking_Ram 3 роки тому +794

    Marisha in full confidence: "Kinder, means candy."
    Liam: "Kinder means children, that's why it's called Kindergarten."

    • @Ajehy
      @Ajehy 2 роки тому +105

      To the Waldhexe, they’re the same thing.

    • @QuixoticCowboy
      @QuixoticCowboy Рік тому +34

      i mean Kinder is the name of a massive candy company so that is a fair mistake

    • @wildestnothing927
      @wildestnothing927 Рік тому +18

      ​@@QuixoticCowboyfunnily enough on top of that Kinder belongs to Ferrero and thus it isn't even German, but Italian, although the brand name did make use of the German word since the first Kinder product was released simultaneously in Germany and Italy

    • @casualpotato44
      @casualpotato44 Рік тому +11

      @@QuixoticCowboy I think she was joking. She says in the end she took German in high school. It's a basic one, I don't know German and I knew what Kinder means. It's alsp the kind of joke someone who knows what i means would make. And it's a joke that's definitely in Marisha's brand.

    • @noemiecansier8466
      @noemiecansier8466 Рік тому

      Jaysus.

  • @benphillips7289
    @benphillips7289 4 роки тому +1916

    Me: German folk tales are metal af.
    Ashley: *noms the scary away*

    • @Nobody-yn9bq
      @Nobody-yn9bq 4 роки тому +67

      homnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnom

    • @Glorfindel_117
      @Glorfindel_117 4 роки тому +24

      I'm sure *someone* jumped when she ripped the eyes and heart out.

    • @someonefromsomewhere1009
      @someonefromsomewhere1009 4 роки тому +36

      @@Glorfindel_117 I love how she added a heart beating effect to help reinsert scary

    • @plothole181
      @plothole181 4 роки тому +11

      @Tyler K. was I the only one that also heard Little Mermaid music halfway through Marisha's version?

    • @dicebomb2045
      @dicebomb2045 4 роки тому +9

      @@plothole181 I think it was meant to signify her saying she was "ashleing this"

  • @soomink
    @soomink 4 роки тому +1094

    *Liam's original story:* a dark, cautionary Zemnian tale symbolizing the Empire's funneling and manipulation of youth into the war machine
    *The end result:* I'm gonna tell you a SPOOKY TALE... dry kids... the Vortex.....
    om nom nom nom nom....accents ranging all over Europe

    • @RuteL
      @RuteL 4 роки тому +43

      You have experienced the Vortex~

    • @soomink
      @soomink 4 роки тому +8

      @@RuteL hsdhfsh YEAH advertising it like "Sleep No More". an artistic experience, the Vortex

    • @alexkoder1982
      @alexkoder1982 4 роки тому +2

      I actually expected some Warhammer references after watching this

    • @enigma1326
      @enigma1326 4 роки тому +1

      And Travis has a bad accent

    • @WiseSageBum
      @WiseSageBum 2 місяці тому

      By the end, the Forest Witch was the DJ at The Vortex who moonlights in the black market organ trade

  • @MusicUnderMyBreath
    @MusicUnderMyBreath 4 роки тому +3627

    I feel like laura's version is just Jester retelling a story she heard from Caleb to some poor child she cornered.

  • @proviliax
    @proviliax 4 роки тому +1876

    Liam: Hey, have some German words!
    Taliesin: No.

    • @AndirHon
      @AndirHon 4 роки тому +115

      Interesting to me is how the German count... was dropped by Taliesin and somehow Marisha added them back in?

    • @toshomni9478
      @toshomni9478 4 роки тому +25

      To be fair I would never have been able to remember all that German either.

    • @evilbob840
      @evilbob840 4 роки тому +17

      I was slightly disappointed that Taliesin did that, but they weren't going to make it to the end anyway.

    • @tabruc4186
      @tabruc4186 4 роки тому +39

      I was most disappointed by the loss of 'grossmutter'

    • @evilbob840
      @evilbob840 4 роки тому +37

      @@tabruc4186 Good point, we could have had, "the children were going through the woods to visit their disgusting parents."

  • @quackthulu9575
    @quackthulu9575 4 роки тому +1093

    The lesson here is that anyone can do Jester's voice as long as they're trying to do german

    • @alexmayer869
      @alexmayer869 4 роки тому +28

      I tried that while reading this and holy shit you’re right

    • @vanjamiladinovic
      @vanjamiladinovic 4 роки тому +1

      Just read th normal

    • @WolfiePH
      @WolfiePH 4 роки тому +66

      Then there's ashley, who makes all character a new yorker

    • @majorfallacy5926
      @majorfallacy5926 4 роки тому +5

      Instruktionen unklar - Penis steckt in Piefke

    • @MelodicQuest
      @MelodicQuest 4 роки тому +5

      Unless you're Ashley. In which case, it takes a couple weeks

  • @FunkBastid
    @FunkBastid 4 роки тому +2422

    New York’s hottest new club is Vortex. This club has everything: crones, Yiddish, one eyed children, whispering Germans, and human telephones

    • @aaronstough5432
      @aaronstough5432 4 роки тому +32

      Omg thank you for that

    • @quazillionaire
      @quazillionaire 4 роки тому +75

      Human telephones?
      You know, it's that thing of when you have a line of midgets, and they're trying to talk to each other but they can only talk directly to the ones right next to them, so they have to keep passing sentences down the line but the sentences get all messed up and lose all coherent meaning.

    • @jlar1752
      @jlar1752 4 роки тому +11

      I undestood that reference

    • @mangalores-x_x
      @mangalores-x_x 4 роки тому +12

      Sounds like one of the fetish clubs you can find in Berlin, guest list only, obviously.

    • @calebdouglas2512
      @calebdouglas2512 4 роки тому +18

      But alas...
      No wheat

  • @4thwallbreaking870
    @4thwallbreaking870 4 роки тому +2286

    Me (as a German): this will be an absolute clusterf*ck
    Also, it's incredible how Liam get's the mood of german horror stories

    • @PalleRasmussen
      @PalleRasmussen 4 роки тому +97

      He loves Germany. Which all must, if they know it.

    • @WardNightstone
      @WardNightstone 4 роки тому +221

      Germon Horror = German Fairytales

    • @MelodicQuest
      @MelodicQuest 4 роки тому +280

      It's not a German fairytale if it doesn't scar you for life

    • @kaanapolinaris6334
      @kaanapolinaris6334 4 роки тому +74

      I as a German can agree I love how he does this

    • @Gime0racle
      @Gime0racle 4 роки тому +27

      Why does that matter? This is Zemnian silly. :P (totally joking btw)

  • @pinoyXasian
    @pinoyXasian 4 роки тому +2126

    Liam: *terrifying children's fairy tale music*
    Ashley: *a TriP tO thE BaHAmaSsS!*

    • @panheaddragonwolfpaw
      @panheaddragonwolfpaw 4 роки тому +99

      Ikr, it immediately gave Ashley's rendition a "crackhead who wandered into a Hawaiian resort to do a street performance for tourists" type vibe. If you've ever been to Hawaii, you know exactly the vibe I'm talking about.

    • @mistymorningside2400
      @mistymorningside2400 4 роки тому +16

      Six Winged Phoenix Wolf Yep. I live in Hawaii. Sadly this rings true.

    • @LunasDaughter743
      @LunasDaughter743 4 роки тому +6

      @@panheaddragonwolfpaw I have never been to Hawaii but this makes me curious! XD

    • @EngineerWhen
      @EngineerWhen 4 роки тому +2

      I was just about to comment the same thing XD love the contrast...

    • @KimKimeraKimes
      @KimKimeraKimes 4 роки тому +16

      I noticed the tropical music setting in when someone has no clue and for lack of better way to phrase it, "Ashleys it". When people are getting into it the serious music plays again.

  • @jonasdemulder9317
    @jonasdemulder9317 4 роки тому +1013

    Interviewer: Hey Ashley. When did you know you "made it" in the industry?
    Ashley: From the moment my name turned into a verb

  • @herbertkraft7379
    @herbertkraft7379 4 роки тому +740

    Liam: here's a great and spooky story
    Taliesin: TLDR:

    • @RPGSulSide
      @RPGSulSide 4 роки тому +59

      hahaha i was looking for this. Taliesin really did axe so much of the details but still the core of the story was well told hahaha

    • @JB-xl2jc
      @JB-xl2jc 4 роки тому +51

      I think there are two strategies that we see eventually emerge- try and get every detail and get a bunch wrong hilariously, or hilariously take a hatchet to the story and find the core stuff!

    • @xolwora2762
      @xolwora2762 4 роки тому

      Yeah

  • @Jakub7009
    @Jakub7009 4 роки тому +2356

    Travis: “I admit I was so taken by how cute my wife was, I kind of blanked”. AAAAWWWWWWWWWWW ❤️❤️❤️

    • @enigma1326
      @enigma1326 4 роки тому +121

      Travis=husband goals

    • @lucasm.3864
      @lucasm.3864 4 роки тому +127

      That and him blushing when Laura came in from the VGAs are absolutely adorable moments.

    • @Furretkun
      @Furretkun 4 роки тому +20

      @@lucasm.3864 could I get more info so I can see this moment, asking for a friend 👀

    • @bagheerabelle984
      @bagheerabelle984 4 роки тому +28

      Flutterby campaign 2 episode 88 I believe. :)

    • @Furretkun
      @Furretkun 4 роки тому +8

      @@bagheerabelle984 aww yiss ty!

  • @butcherzofrock
    @butcherzofrock 4 роки тому +1751

    It's kinda funny because the first one is like a cautionary tale against the empire and by the time it gets to Matt it feels like it's empire propaganda.
    "These *stupid* kids wandered out of the empire and got screwed over and so always stay in the empire it will protect you."

    • @alexanderlicentia5265
      @alexanderlicentia5265 4 роки тому +225

      Headcanon, both versions exist in the empire.

    • @yurigouveawagner9432
      @yurigouveawagner9432 4 роки тому +149

      @@alexanderlicentia5265 the first one is a classic that people quote to seem cultured without knowing what it really means but they know it's considered smart. the second one is the interpretation they made themselves to make it seem like they know what it's about and to affirm their own beliefs.

    • @UVjoint
      @UVjoint 3 роки тому +64

      @@yurigouveawagner9432 Oof, you just added a whole another dimension to what seemed like a pretty light-hearted comment initially.
      I'm assuming you mean something like Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the USA?"

    • @yuki97kira
      @yuki97kira 2 роки тому +32

      @@alexanderlicentia5265 headcanon all exists in different parts of the empires.. Ashley's is just a drunk tourist hailing from there telling the story to a group of outsiders

    • @henrymartinvo
      @henrymartinvo 6 місяців тому +2

      *against the Volstrucker Program. The story frames the Empire as good or at least neutral, full of loving parents who worship the lawful good Dawnfather. The crully crone named Crull or Crone is Trent. He lies about "being the land", like he lied to King Dwendal about the necessity of the program.
      If the crone was just the empire, where did the kids come from? Bren and co. weren't from another land, they were born in the empire's heartland. Caleb's story is about Trent manipulating kids, not how the empire is bad

  • @rb4121
    @rb4121 4 роки тому +505

    I just loved the moment when Quyen brought in the puppet. It's so fitting to see that Sam is married to a person that would crawl into his room with a head on a stick to surprise his friends, it's very wholesome.

    • @laurenhawes7201
      @laurenhawes7201 4 роки тому +15

      It was like the dad with the office

    • @petersherman2187
      @petersherman2187 4 роки тому +13

      We love you Quyen!!

    • @michaeliglesias2806
      @michaeliglesias2806 4 роки тому +12

      She’s a gem 100%

    • @WiseSageBum
      @WiseSageBum 2 місяці тому

      Seriously
      The married couples we've seen on CR seem to be great fits
      Matt and Marisha nearly burned down their house in humorous fashion
      Travis regularly falls in love with Laura on camera
      And Quyen seems just as chaotic as Sam

  • @nairocamilo
    @nairocamilo 4 роки тому +392

    Quyen Tran, famous photography cinematographer,
    Professional puppeteer

    • @Dimloep
      @Dimloep 4 роки тому +7

      Pure art, right there.

    • @DaniGeez
      @DaniGeez 4 роки тому +22

      Next time on Yeehaw Game Ranch:

    • @JB-xl2jc
      @JB-xl2jc 4 роки тому +4

      Baker too!

    • @theodorehsu5023
      @theodorehsu5023 4 роки тому +9

      And then the fandom rejoiced with much laughter.

    • @icymoons
      @icymoons 4 роки тому

      @@theodorehsu5023 can confirm twitch chat went feral

  • @gabrielparas4480
    @gabrielparas4480 4 роки тому +1913

    I think my favorite moment was when Matt said “and the third child for whatever god forsaken reason who is still there and not running”

    • @gobo744
      @gobo744 4 роки тому +186

      Given the context of how the story is a metaphor, it’s funny how the DM is making that comment, without realising.

    • @asongforthemostbeautifulwo6476
      @asongforthemostbeautifulwo6476 4 роки тому +29

      @@gobo744 i think he is aware about it but wanted to be funny

    • @bdletoast09
      @bdletoast09 4 роки тому +132

      Seeing how the story was distorted when it came to him, I'm not sure he got the metaphor at the time. When he heard the original version tho, he sure did.

    • @sethlost424
      @sethlost424 4 роки тому +14

      59:10

    • @raphaelhemery152
      @raphaelhemery152 4 роки тому +20

      She obviously casted Hold Person at level 4

  • @jamesmilner6486
    @jamesmilner6486 4 роки тому +2092

    Liam: Terrifying Bavarian Soothsayer
    Sam: Eurotrash Nightclub Tweaker

    • @annafantasia
      @annafantasia 4 роки тому +17

      I loled

    • @serbian88
      @serbian88 4 роки тому +25

      I was too naive trying to drink while reading comments. I choked XD

    • @blechtic
      @blechtic 4 роки тому +12

      I was thinking more like a character in low-budget, post-apocalyptic TV series for teenagers.

    • @misscutenar2333
      @misscutenar2333 4 роки тому +11

      god, the thought of a stereotypical bavarian guy being a soothsayer is amazing

    • @annef2809
      @annef2809 4 роки тому +3

      Omg lolololol

  • @CordeiroViivi
    @CordeiroViivi 4 роки тому +451

    Anyone talking about Travis's "I was so taken by how cute my wife is that I kinda blanked"?

  • @binturongjustice
    @binturongjustice 4 роки тому +1024

    liam: weaves a terrifying fairytale with themes of indoctrination and continuing cycles of violence
    Sam by the end, having smeared ash all over his face: an old lady snacks on some dry kids for asking if she's a crone

  • @Stefan-xt5sk
    @Stefan-xt5sk 4 роки тому +1516

    I'm proud of Ashley. While not very accurate, she just went for it this time.

    • @evanschmeven
      @evanschmeven 4 роки тому +46

      And Laura, ngl the noises she made made me uncomfortable about how accurate the noises a where.

    • @jeanvalero1597
      @jeanvalero1597 4 роки тому +16

      Totally❤❤❤! Her adorableness and the music broke all the spookiness and made me laugh so so much tho xD ❤❤

    • @andrecanis4894
      @andrecanis4894 4 роки тому +20

      I’m proud that Ashley wore her Zemnian outfit for Liam’s Story (her shirt collar has the colors of the German flag)

    • @The11thEvilEx
      @The11thEvilEx 4 роки тому +26

      I'm proud of Ashley, she remembered most of the details Marisha gave her.

    • @theodorehsu5023
      @theodorehsu5023 4 роки тому +20

      Stefan, she ran with the bits Marisha gave. So props to Ashley. Now to imagine the pain she's about to open on after Liam's scare-fest.

  • @Kyle-pz1yj
    @Kyle-pz1yj 4 роки тому +669

    Beginning: scary German fairy tale that hints Caleb's backstory
    End: kids chilling at a club and losing brain cells

    • @bigdream_dreambig
      @bigdream_dreambig 4 роки тому +26

      With Cookie Monster (nom nom nom...)! 🌪🕺🍪💃

    • @RuteL
      @RuteL 4 роки тому +8

      Hey! I was wondering when I was gonna find a comment on how the story's theme goes with Caleb's background! :D

    • @lucasm.3864
      @lucasm.3864 4 роки тому +16

      Are the children losing brain cells, or the cast?
      The correct answer is “yes”.

    • @kei2kei
      @kei2kei 4 роки тому +1

      @@lucasm.3864 I just consider them as the kids of Goonies. So the answer is yes.

  • @MeeesterBond17
    @MeeesterBond17 4 роки тому +1445

    Liam - "Waldhexe"
    Taleisin - "Voldhex"
    Marisha - "Vortex"
    This entire video makes me feel so much better about my mediocre German skills. XD

    • @kkTeaz
      @kkTeaz 4 роки тому +9

      Same same

    • @mortuos557
      @mortuos557 4 роки тому +35

      Übung macht den Meister

    • @prince-solomon
      @prince-solomon 4 роки тому +25

      To me Taleisin sounded like he said "Vault-Tec"

    • @BoojumFed
      @BoojumFed 4 роки тому +34

      @@prince-solomon _Never_ stray from Vault 13, kinder...

    • @franziner.3444
      @franziner.3444 4 роки тому +22

      @@mortuos557 es ist halt noch kein Meister vom Himmel gefallen.

  • @emzydivey
    @emzydivey 4 роки тому +529

    Rexxentrum's hottest club is: Vortex. This club has everything: dry kids, wheat, Crull the Crone (it's that thing where a hag eats your brain, eyes, or heart OMNOMNOMNOMNOM and you and your children's children are cursed).

    • @philosynfonie7307
      @philosynfonie7307 4 роки тому +16

      Especially funny that it is meant to be "Waldhexe" which means "Forrest witch"

    • @Biohybr1d
      @Biohybr1d 4 роки тому +18

      Props for making a Stefan reference.

    • @pratibhapersonal6737
      @pratibhapersonal6737 4 роки тому +2

      -stick around for next thursday for "nott's one shot"
      "whats nots one shot"
      -Its that thing of when a midget challenges you to a race and then shoots you in the ass

    • @pauldix06
      @pauldix06 4 роки тому +1

      Thank you, this was all i could hear when they started that bit take several of my likes

    • @joshuaharrelson3357
      @joshuaharrelson3357 4 роки тому

      After literally just watching every Stefon ever compilation, I was dying at this comment!!!!

  • @MelodicQuest
    @MelodicQuest 4 роки тому +801

    Jester: "Wow. Is any of that true?"
    Caleb: "Nein. It's an old fairytale. Passed down from many generations. If it were true, many details are likely to be exaggerated."
    Beau: "I dunno. All those people who willingly sacrificed their own kids? Sounds a bit too, familiar don't you think?"
    Caleb: "I was never one for fictitious writngs. I have seen that the horrors of the real world far surpass anything in storybooks."

    • @joshjeffrey5589
      @joshjeffrey5589 4 роки тому +55

      Could clearly hear that in everyone's voices. Well played.

    • @erickmejia4602
      @erickmejia4602 4 роки тому +4

      @@joshjeffrey5589 omg, me too

    • @micahlong2073
      @micahlong2073 4 роки тому +3

      ^^ Well played OP

    • @LordAaronus
      @LordAaronus 4 роки тому +15

      Nott: Yeah, the parents clearly said stick to your prayers and stay out of the forest and all that, and the kids went in anyway? Who does that?

    • @MelodicQuest
      @MelodicQuest 4 роки тому +2

      @@LordAaronus Nott: I'll tell ya the moral of the story: Listen to your fucking parents

  • @bionicdragon5
    @bionicdragon5 4 роки тому +1203

    Liam: "I shall confound you vith my German vords!"
    Taliesin: "Okay, here's that story, but in English."
    Marisha: "Oh no, I'm Ashleying this!" [proceeds to talk like Jester]
    Ashley: [starts out sounding vaguely like Demoman from TF2, then at some point becomes Scout]
    Laura: [literally just Jester doing an impression of Caleb while presumably scaring the shit out of someone's kid]
    Travis: [completely lost, but having way too much fun saying OMNOMNOM]
    Matt: [a gypsy telling his friends bits of the story he overheard Jester telling, critiquing the plot as he goes]
    Sam: "Hans, let me tell you a spooky story I heard!" "Ja, das ist a spooky story, Claus! Vell done!"

    • @thatsablackperson4708
      @thatsablackperson4708 4 роки тому +19

      Medic! doctor MEEEDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICc Ahhh

    • @Ajehy
      @Ajehy 4 роки тому +8

      Thats a Black Person - I laughed so hard my roommate came to check on me. She thought I was sick!

    • @aromaladyellie
      @aromaladyellie 3 роки тому +25

      Hey, just wanna let you know that g*psy is a racial slur.

    • @JeshieWafflez
      @JeshieWafflez 3 роки тому

      @@aromaladyellie Shut up. No it's not.

    • @iced-americano900
      @iced-americano900 3 роки тому +8

      @@JeshieWafflez tell that to the Romani people, then

  • @TimothyCHenderson
    @TimothyCHenderson 4 роки тому +478

    I did like that once Marisha admitted she was "Ashley'ing this", the music switched to Ashley's theme music.

    • @annsmalley9039
      @annsmalley9039 4 роки тому +19

      THATS what it is, thank you! i knew the music was identifying smth, but i thought it mightve just been underlaying the comedic moment

    • @toshomni9478
      @toshomni9478 4 роки тому +6

      The editing/directing is on point for this.

    • @IrisGlowingBlue
      @IrisGlowingBlue 4 роки тому +1

      +

    • @VitaNewbo
      @VitaNewbo 4 роки тому

      @@annsmalley9039 To be fair, they are kinda the same at this point.

  • @soff_icini
    @soff_icini 4 роки тому +521

    Marisha: Oh no, I'm Ashleying this
    Ashley: I'm a veeerb!

    • @WiseSageBum
      @WiseSageBum 2 місяці тому

      The immediate music change killed 😂

  • @MelaLabelle
    @MelaLabelle 4 роки тому +493

    Ashley: "The kids are crying."
    Kid With No Eyes: ....

    • @roxana5490
      @roxana5490 3 роки тому +34

      To be fair, you can still cry without eyeballs, the tears would just settle in the socket until it pools enough to go in the lacrimal glands near the nose. WHOA

    • @elliedereyna5014
      @elliedereyna5014 3 роки тому +10

      @@roxana5490 I love how some actual thought went into that

    • @carlcunningham7750
      @carlcunningham7750 3 роки тому +25

      You mean the Kd wth no Eyes

    • @silkaverage
      @silkaverage 3 роки тому +3

      @@carlcunningham7750 well done.......well done

    • @flipflopzthreeonethree1873
      @flipflopzthreeonethree1873 3 роки тому +5

      🕳👄🕳

  • @jeffersonrose9888
    @jeffersonrose9888 4 роки тому +1653

    I shared this with my fiance's grandmother who grew up in East Germany. She really liked the story and told me she used to take her two younger brothers to a "höhle" in the "wald" outside Naumburg, where her parents told them not to go because there might be Russian soldiers in the höhle. She couldn't help but laugh that she's now blind in one eye like the girl in the story.
    10/10 Liam.

    • @toschiworlds7212
      @toschiworlds7212 4 роки тому +37

      Yeah, we have plenty of "ghost" stories like that. Makes you wonder what our ancestors were thinking.

    • @MissMokate
      @MissMokate 4 роки тому +21

      @@toschiworlds7212 I mean, lots of spooky woods around would do that to a people I think

    • @Ajehy
      @Ajehy 3 роки тому +15

      @@MissMokate Indeed. Many cultures have scary stories that children are told to keep them away from dangerous places: the Japanese river kappa, the Iroquois Swamp People, etc.

    • @therealmmaster4766
      @therealmmaster4766 3 роки тому +5

      Proof Liam is somehow more intelligent then we already thought

  • @lucasm.3864
    @lucasm.3864 4 роки тому +746

    “And the other two children, who didn’t run for some god forsaken reason.”
    I love Matt.

    • @ChevaliersEmeraude
      @ChevaliersEmeraude 4 роки тому +64

      You see, the Crone has multi-attacks, 3 attacks per turn, and she had enough movement to reach everyone! :p

    • @annsmalley9039
      @annsmalley9039 4 роки тому +9

      when one has been playing hundreds of characters with actual self preservation for years... 😆

    • @Myrilia
      @Myrilia 4 роки тому +2

      Omg yes it made me laugh so hard 🤣

    • @alexkoder1982
      @alexkoder1982 4 роки тому +2

      @@ChevaliersEmeraude Crone to OP please Nerf.

    • @JB-xl2jc
      @JB-xl2jc 4 роки тому +6

      “I touch a little bit of molasses with my finger and cast slow. The Crone may now make a maximum of one attacks per turn. Astrid and I ride off into the sunset together happily. Sorry, no-brain-bro.”

  • @jamesscott7215
    @jamesscott7215 4 роки тому +810

    I love that Ash was like “Ok German accent, you can do this!”
    And then proceeded to go “OOOOOOIII ladies let me tell ye a tale!”
    And then it turns Russian
    And then Gale

    • @southwestgrafix7155
      @southwestgrafix7155 3 роки тому +58

      Ashley's Caleb was more Jester than her Jester was.

    • @livvy_maye
      @livvy_maye 3 роки тому +25

      Ashley always goes Gale by the end of it

    • @justfishin2704
      @justfishin2704 2 роки тому +24

      Gag me with a spoon valdhexe!

  • @gapdelta2679
    @gapdelta2679 4 роки тому +485

    Ashley: LET ME TELL YOU A SPOOKY TALE
    *carebean cruise music in the background*

  • @antheathetiefling8581
    @antheathetiefling8581 4 роки тому +473

    My favorite moments:
    Travis: nononononono!
    Matt: YOU KILLED THE WHEAT?!
    Ashley: i am a verb!
    Talisan: its like expecting to play Macbeth but being told your playing McDonald.

  • @adoptedowl
    @adoptedowl 4 роки тому +865

    Last episode, Travis was like: German? We're going to offend an entire country!
    Me: You have no idea how much we love foreigners crippling our words...

    • @amybyrne5208
      @amybyrne5208 4 роки тому +51

      Ive a feeling its the same as fake Irish accents on st. Patrick's day for the irish

    • @jito7377
      @jito7377 4 роки тому +29

      It's pretty hilarious. Just butchering.

    • @Pein1233
      @Pein1233 4 роки тому +58

      @@amybyrne5208 Do irish people love hearing people attempt the accent? Because nearly everyone I(German) know loves to torture non German speakers by making them pronounce German words

    • @neerGdyahS
      @neerGdyahS 4 роки тому +55

      "You can comprehend neither our words nor our engineering ja."

    • @jamesscott7215
      @jamesscott7215 4 роки тому +38

      I can’t understand people who don’t love having their own language butchered by foreigners. Hearing non English speakers attempt English is one of the best things.

  • @jana1836
    @jana1836 4 роки тому +1097

    Translations:
    "junger Mensch" - young person/human
    "Waldhexe" - forest witch
    "Stolz" - pride
    "Liebling" - darling/sweetheart
    "Wildnis" - wilderness
    "Eins, Zwei, Drei, Vier, Fünf" - One, two, three, four, five
    "Hunger" - hunger
    "Großmutter" - grandmother
    "Kind" - child
    "Angst" - fear
    "Kinder" - children

    • @danny_decheeto8300
      @danny_decheeto8300 4 роки тому +120

      “Hunger”=hunger
      lol thanks for the rest tho

    • @alxa
      @alxa 4 роки тому +66

      Junge - boy, Mädchen - girl.

    • @liviasantiago1686
      @liviasantiago1686 4 роки тому +4

      Thanks

    • @qwertzuiku3t87hv86f8
      @qwertzuiku3t87hv86f8 4 роки тому +74

      I think he says "Junge and Mädchen" (boy and girl) in the beginning instead of "junger Mensch"

    • @MasumiSeike
      @MasumiSeike 4 роки тому +10

      YES 🤣
      Confuse then with Zemniam 🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @jasonmika6237
    @jasonmika6237 4 роки тому +421

    Things to love about this video:
    1. We learn a new verb
    2. Q, her doll, and her socks
    3. How genuinely happy Matt is every time someone struggles but eventually gets a story detail right.

    • @jasonmika6237
      @jasonmika6237 4 роки тому +26

      Ashley's beating heart sound effect and her nom nom nom would be 4 and 5

    • @jeanief.6036
      @jeanief.6036 4 роки тому +10

      @@rosalindchang7039 44:33 is when the door opens.

    • @playyourdrums6762
      @playyourdrums6762 4 роки тому +9

      Also wheat

    • @alexfirefly1956
      @alexfirefly1956 4 роки тому +9

      0. Is obviously Liams story itself, it was terrific

    • @jasonmika6237
      @jasonmika6237 4 роки тому +1

      @@playyourdrums6762 always remember the wheat

  • @ckannan90
    @ckannan90 4 роки тому +413

    Laura: “oh Ashley you look so pretty and sparkley”
    Travis: “you look like you farted in public and someone was behind you”

    • @Ajehy
      @Ajehy 2 роки тому +10

      Both are true!

  • @frschaddelee
    @frschaddelee 4 роки тому +427

    When Sam's wife backed out of the room... I haven't laughed this hard in MONTHS.

    • @spellbreath2876
      @spellbreath2876 4 роки тому +20

      She's his wife all right.

    • @kaizen5023
      @kaizen5023 4 роки тому +9

      That was epic!

    • @sethkeown5965
      @sethkeown5965 4 роки тому +5

      Time stamp?

    • @Tadpole1612
      @Tadpole1612 4 роки тому +11

      Watch Sams screen at 44:30

    • @JB-xl2jc
      @JB-xl2jc 4 роки тому +6

      His wife is so awesome, I follow her on Instagram too, she has some cool stuff (not to mention quarantine sourdough recently)!

  • @beetlejuiceblues12
    @beetlejuiceblues12 4 роки тому +743

    My new eternal mood is *the* Matt Mercer screeching "YOU LOST THE WHEAT" at his wife. Also I literally thought I was gonna pass out from laughing when Quyen was struggling to back out of the room with the doll. This is definitely the best one so far.

    • @laurenhawes7201
      @laurenhawes7201 4 роки тому +45

      Nothing as funny as an asian mom crawling backwards out an office door with a small child/childlooking object. We knew this in 2018

    • @theodorehsu5023
      @theodorehsu5023 4 роки тому +19

      @@laurenhawes7201 Special guest appearance: Quyen Tran as the Puppeteer.

    • @leonmercury3732
      @leonmercury3732 4 роки тому +6

      I love how shortly after Matt gets upset, his wife apologizes in-video. It's on par with the echo of "oh, no"

    • @bombshellblonde544
      @bombshellblonde544 4 роки тому +9

      God I couldn't breathe when Quyen was army crawling out. That was the greatest thing ever

    • @electrotoxins
      @electrotoxins 4 роки тому +1

      38:32

  • @sahellove2679
    @sahellove2679 4 роки тому +791

    "The other two children apparently just stand there and watch this happen and are like 'My Turn!'"
    Best addition EVER!!

  • @nathandudley4537
    @nathandudley4537 4 роки тому +560

    Ashley: I can't wait to be back to normal so we can stop doing this.
    Matt: This is never going to end.
    This is the best thing ever. Please don't stop. I started doing this with my D&D group thanks to you.

    • @CotalCosta
      @CotalCosta 4 роки тому +6

      Would be cool if more people start doing it and post it on youtube!

    • @EStramel09
      @EStramel09 4 роки тому +8

      @@Keovar I'm the same. What I've been doing is watching the original stories and skipping straight to the reactions and watching it devolve with the rest of the crew and it's WAY more enjoyable.

    • @KristenWood317
      @KristenWood317 4 роки тому +1

      @@EStramel09 That's actually a brilliant way to do it. I did that on this one thanks to your suggestion. Love that!

    • @KorsarNik
      @KorsarNik 4 роки тому

      Yep, we did the same. And the final story was ridiculously completely different from the first one that I told. =) I couldn't believe that it could happen after 6 iterations.

    • @theodorehsu5023
      @theodorehsu5023 4 роки тому

      We need to have everyone post theirs Nathan. Critical Role Uniting everyone through Narrative Telephone! And at least until Matt repeats.

  • @canniloni
    @canniloni 4 роки тому +778

    Ahh yes, a new episode of my favorite show “Torturing Ashley Johnson”

    • @qualandrew201494
      @qualandrew201494 4 роки тому +18

      Im looking forward to the next one.... the ashley torturing the rest of them one :D

    • @frightenedsoul
      @frightenedsoul 4 роки тому +3

      qualandrew201494 - it was glorious!

    • @canniloni
      @canniloni 4 роки тому +10

      qualandrew201494 she was way too nice to them :D here’s to hoping they do another round so she can do the story she originally wanted to do

    • @Isa-pc6il
      @Isa-pc6il 3 роки тому +2

      Love your profile pic

    • @canniloni
      @canniloni 3 роки тому +1

      Isa thank you

  • @LoryK98
    @LoryK98 4 роки тому +269

    Liam: Ok, guys, here's a tale from the Grimm brothers
    Ashley: Ok, guys, this is the Disney version

  • @dylanglassgow7458
    @dylanglassgow7458 4 роки тому +246

    Liam is the well-written original movie,
    Taliesin is the not-as-good sequel,
    Marisha is the redundant sequel,
    Ashley is the Family Guy cameo,
    Laura is the remake made by a new studio,
    Travis is the remade sequel that they based on the original instead of the remake,
    Matt is the high budget remake that goes well,
    And Sam is the final Netflix special

  • @alexandervaucrosson7841
    @alexandervaucrosson7841 4 роки тому +317

    I like how this tale has an interesting underlying cultural metaphor for the empire. For the empire to flourish you must sacrifice your ability to think for yourself, the ability to see the truth, and the ability to love... very sad ... very Caleb

    • @RuteL
      @RuteL 4 роки тому +9

      Right? I loved that so much.

    • @nicholasandrews3786
      @nicholasandrews3786 4 роки тому +48

      It’s more than just very much like him, it is him. The three children are Eodwulf, Astrid and Bren. It’s Eodwulf’s mind, Astrid’s eye and Bren’s heart devoured so the empire can grow.

    • @brannontirin
      @brannontirin 4 роки тому +13

      And the Crone?
      Krone is German for Crown.
      It’s also the term for their currency (pre EU).

    • @carlh9082
      @carlh9082 4 роки тому +7

      @@brannontirin translation is correct but wasnt the German currency pre Euro the Deutsche Mark?

    • @Vendal89
      @Vendal89 4 роки тому +8

      @@carlh9082 exactly. D-Mark (or Deutsche Mark) was used before Euro. Kronen are used in other countries

  • @LukasP-oy5hy
    @LukasP-oy5hy 3 роки тому +492

    As a german I have to say that Liams german accent is OG. I started critical role with episode 1 of campaign 2 and for 3 straight episodes I was pleasently surprised that a german can get a job in voice acting with an accent that hard😂

    • @TrainingOffer
      @TrainingOffer 2 роки тому +49

      Yeah, when I was listening to it while driving and my husband was sitting next to me (both german) Caleb had a huge moment (and a long speech) and my husband was like "I thought you were listening to an american podcast. Why is a German in there?" :D

    • @llEMMAll
      @llEMMAll Рік тому +13

      I didn't even notice he had an accent at first because I sound exactly like that 😢

    • @riggedtroxaa8675
      @riggedtroxaa8675 Рік тому +10

      SAME i also started with campaign 2 and i did not watch talks makina during my first watch through, i thought for maybe 20 episodes liam was actually german, and sometimes during the ad reads i got confused when he talked without accent

  • @CavvieKat
    @CavvieKat 4 роки тому +264

    Ohmygosh, Travis' "I admit, I was so taken by how cute my wife was, I kind of blanked on this part..." PRECIOUS.

  • @BannedFromTheaters
    @BannedFromTheaters 4 роки тому +298

    Liam: Waldhexe
    Taliesin: Voltex
    Marisha: Woltex
    Ashley: VORTEX

    • @minervawantspizza8826
      @minervawantspizza8826 4 роки тому +28

      Vortex- the hottest club in town!

    • @laurenreese6462
      @laurenreese6462 4 роки тому +17

      I heard wald hexe but my immediate thought was "that's gonna become vortex"

    • @Knightveil
      @Knightveil 4 роки тому +10

      Consonantal shift in action!

    • @kei2kei
      @kei2kei 4 роки тому +12

      @@laurenreese6462 Good for you. I was going for "VaultTec", which I think would be way worse than the Vortex

    • @laurenreese6462
      @laurenreese6462 4 роки тому

      @@Knightveil I think I'd prefer a run-in with the wald hexe!

  • @jinnaralmo
    @jinnaralmo 4 роки тому +172

    I absolutely love the fact that Taliesin managed to condense the entire passage about the Dawn Father into a single word "impetuous".

  • @alexfasci2632
    @alexfasci2632 4 роки тому +230

    omg the crone is Trent, the boy who cant think for himself again is eodwulf, the girl who can never truly see again is astrid, and the boy who can never love again is caleb, and this cycle of the empire eating children for it's own benefit will continue for the rest of everyone's lives. Caleb this is so sad.

    • @Ruguban
      @Ruguban 4 роки тому +8

      Wow, didn't even think of that - but it fits too well to be a coincidence.

    • @mudkipjuice
      @mudkipjuice 4 роки тому +21

      @@Ruguban Liam confirmed it on twitter, so def not a coincidence!

    • @Aleph-Noll
      @Aleph-Noll 4 роки тому +1

      ooo how epic

    • @mindsendStoryweaver
      @mindsendStoryweaver 4 роки тому +2

      A cautionary tale of the Empire War Machine and how it takes and destroys children, and how it destroyed him and his friends exactly.

    • @llewtree3013
      @llewtree3013 4 роки тому +1

      Wow sad German ideas indeed Liam 😂

  • @MonarchRigel
    @MonarchRigel 4 роки тому +378

    MVP of this Episode: Quyen.
    hands down.

    • @CaptainAricDeron
      @CaptainAricDeron 4 роки тому +6

      This always happens with Critical Role. I watch and listen until something happens that makes me die laughing, and then I rewatch that clip. . . Six times? Eight times? Who knows.

    • @annec8127
      @annec8127 4 роки тому

      She is so awesome. ❤❤❤❤

    • @theodorehsu5023
      @theodorehsu5023 4 роки тому +1

      @@annec8127 She brought the creepy humor with the Waldenhexe (forest witch) making her Appearance.

  • @ailurusfulgens1654
    @ailurusfulgens1654 3 роки тому +142

    Liam - German
    Taliesin - Somewhat German
    Marisha - Italian
    Ashley - *IRISH JESTER* { The moment she spoke with an accent, I broke. Jackseptickeye, are you related? }
    Laura - Diluted German Cookie Monster
    Travis - Half Decent German & Half Male Jester Cookie Monster
    Matt - German Gore Cookie Monster
    A ZEMNIAN FOLLOWS

  • @Sarah_Joyce
    @Sarah_Joyce 4 роки тому +373

    Can we take a moment to appreciate Q, Sam’s wife, for her creepy doll performance? I don’t think I’ve laughed so hard in a while 😂 favorite moment of the series so far

    • @aithneblaise
      @aithneblaise 4 роки тому +26

      I was cry-laughing so hard along with them 😂

    • @angelique_cs
      @angelique_cs 4 роки тому +27

      I woke up my housemate, who probably thought I was losing my mind. I had headphones in, so it looks like I'm just standing in the silent kitchen uncontrollably laughing

    • @jd409
      @jd409 4 роки тому +19

      Q is awesome.

    • @kaizen5023
      @kaizen5023 4 роки тому +7

      Yup I've been cackling like a hag over here :D

  • @juxhex
    @juxhex 4 роки тому +778

    Why is Ashley telling the story like she’s trying to bully me into giving her money

    • @joluoto
      @joluoto 4 роки тому +8

      Because she is

    • @alexkoder1982
      @alexkoder1982 4 роки тому +19

      You don't give her your money just because?

    • @mugai915
      @mugai915 4 роки тому +9

      Why does she need to bully you? Because you aren't giving her money yet!

    • @BoojumFed
      @BoojumFed 4 роки тому +12

      Hand it over, nerd!

    • @noahtheinfuriator
      @noahtheinfuriator 4 роки тому +2

      this right here, this is the comment that killed me

  • @goclo
    @goclo 4 роки тому +427

    The bit where Sam's wife came in and then crawled away reminded me of that news interview with the guy where his kids snuck into the room behind him and his wife barreled in and dragged them out and it made me laugh 10x harder. 😂

    • @Hellscrap3r
      @Hellscrap3r 3 роки тому +40

      I love Liam's response. "Cutting-edge cinematographer, that is!"

    • @9206156175
      @9206156175 3 роки тому +2

      Timestamp?

    • @Greponator
      @Greponator 3 роки тому +11

      @@9206156175 46:15

    • @brandendierker5873
      @brandendierker5873 Рік тому +1

      That video was awful because it felt like as soon as he clocked out he went and screamed at her/put her against the wall

  • @marek011011
    @marek011011 4 роки тому +303

    Liam: Gothic Horror
    Ashley: Calypso music should be good, yes

    • @BoojumFed
      @BoojumFed 4 роки тому +5

      I'm pretty sure the music came in in post. ;^)

  • @Buddy74656
    @Buddy74656 4 роки тому +371

    Liam totally captures the feel of a Grimm fairy tale. With a very Dwendalian Empire feel.

    • @michaelliggett1622
      @michaelliggett1622 4 роки тому +11

      Liam's confirmed it was about caleb wulf and astrid

    • @akrinornoname2769
      @akrinornoname2769 4 роки тому +2

      Well, not quite the Grimm versions, but it's very German fairytale

    • @JB-xl2jc
      @JB-xl2jc 4 роки тому +2

      And that the crone/hag was the Imperial military. But that adds an interesting wrinkle. Would Liam or Caleb agree that the Imperial Military really is a good thing for the empire and is really what makes it strong (as the hag makes the wheat grow and the kingdom strong) or is the Imperial military a dark and malignant cancerous growth that actually weakens the empire?

  • @sophiaro4593
    @sophiaro4593 4 роки тому +390

    So fun fact: Sam actually did something very German without knowing it! Rubbing a burnt cork in your face actually is a tradition here: in some parts of Germany, during carnival there's a day called "Rußiger Freitag" ("Sooty Friday") where people make each other's faces sooty, usually using a burnt cork. We used to look forward to that day when we were in school because we got to go wild for a day since we weren't allowed to go to school in our costumes. So... I guess good job, Sam xD

    • @sierra2bork29
      @sierra2bork29 4 роки тому +22

      That is actually pretty cool.i love learning little facts like these.

    • @EliyaNef
      @EliyaNef 2 роки тому +6

      That's really cool. What's the reason behind that?

    • @sophiaro4593
      @sophiaro4593 2 роки тому +12

      @@EliyaNef as far as I know there's no specific reason other than it being a very old way of quite literally fooling around during carnival. All sorts of traditions arise from just being foolish and carefree and having fun - it was supposed to drive away all the bad spirits of winter and be the last "fun" period before lent.

    • @jphugin
      @jphugin 11 місяців тому

      Me as a german I didn't even know about that. Guess that is just a tradition in a certain part of Germany.

  • @isthisajojoreference
    @isthisajojoreference 4 роки тому +468

    Can you imagine what the origins of all the Greek tales and stories must be like if this is how that shit was passed down for centuries

    • @laurab7049
      @laurab7049 4 роки тому +117

      "And then they joined Circe for a nice pork dinner."
      "AND THEN... CIRCE TURNED THEM INTO PIGS."

    • @fieldy409
      @fieldy409 4 роки тому +61

      No wonder all the stories about Norse Gods sound insane.

    • @thomastakesatollforthedark2231
      @thomastakesatollforthedark2231 4 роки тому +20

      @@fieldy409 I mean... Alcohol makes you feel warm. Most of those stories where probably told when drunk

    • @AatamiSE
      @AatamiSE 4 роки тому +11

      @@fieldy409 You mean, like all religions do?

    • @LordDragox412
      @LordDragox412 4 роки тому +46

      Jesus: Make a net to fish and you'll catch many fish
      People: *HE TURNED ONE FISH INTO MANY! MIRACLE!*

  • @TyrannoLime
    @TyrannoLime 4 роки тому +589

    “And the kids were like, ‘are you a crone?’ and she was like ‘yes, I am a crone’” the Mercer effect

  • @jkc491
    @jkc491 Рік тому +176

    Marisha learning German from a native Spanish speaking Teacher is the most Midwestern thing ever.

    • @drunkenfianna
      @drunkenfianna 5 місяців тому

      Like a reverse Senor Uhl from Trollhunters :)

    • @WiseSageBum
      @WiseSageBum 2 місяці тому

      Meanwhile, she's a Southerner from Kentucky 😂

  • @RakabooEntertainment
    @RakabooEntertainment 4 роки тому +628

    Ashley sounds like Gru telling a scary story to the gorls.

    • @redheadedtyrant6458
      @redheadedtyrant6458 4 роки тому +12

      Why is that so right

    • @leviathansol
      @leviathansol 4 роки тому +10

      That's pretty good.

    • @jamescanjuggle
      @jamescanjuggle 4 роки тому +20

      She keeps looking to the calipso players for advice but they jammin

    • @dakotamcdaniels2382
      @dakotamcdaniels2382 4 роки тому +8

      I was reading this comment in my regular voice up until the very last word. Then I went in hard on the impression for "gorls". hahaha

    • @yodawgzgaming4416
      @yodawgzgaming4416 4 роки тому +1

      I had more of a Shrek vibe from her

  • @fountainkeyboard404
    @fountainkeyboard404 4 роки тому +207

    Liam: Good German
    Everyone after ashley: the dry kid and omnomnom

  • @DrDrCr4zy
    @DrDrCr4zy 4 роки тому +891

    0:55
    Every Junge and Mädchen of the Empire knows the story of the dreaded Waldhexe. Most think it is a tale to frighten children, but the wise know better.
    Once there were three good children, who walked in the light of the dawnfather. So noble were they, their parents could not help but look upon them with Stolz in their hearts.
    “Stay close to us, Liebling, say your prayers, serve your king and always walk in the light of the sun.” And so they did.
    For a time.
    But children are children, and one day they left their prayers and wandered to the edge of the wood so vast and full of mystery. And though their parents had warned them from ever setting foot in the Wildnis, the desire for knowledge beckoned them.
    Now they no longer walked in the sun. Soon they could see almost nothing. Linking hands they began to count their steps: “Eins, zwei, drei, vier, fünf.”
    And then in the darkness they heard a voice: “Hunger!”. There before them limped a spindly old crone, hair matted with dirt and twig. “Who are you Großmutter and what are you doing in these woods?” “I am these woods, Kind. I am the land and the mountains, too and I hunger. So I think I will eat one of you.” “Oh please Großmutter, our parents would surely despair!” “I must eat for the land to thrive, if I am not to eat one of you, then I shall eat part of all.”
    The children frozen in Angst watched as the Waldhexe stepped forward, stone knife in hand.
    From one boy, she cut out much of his mind and ate it and his thoughts were no longer his own. From the second, a girl, she cut out one eye and this too the Waldhexe ate and the child never saw true again. And from the last, she swallowed his heart and he never knew love again.
    “Now I am fed, Kinder. And the land will flourish and wheat can grow. You may go, as long as you send me your children, and their children after them. Thus will your blood and bones nourish the land and your kingdom can continue to grow.”
    And so it has - for years upon years - unto this very day.
    Zemnian to common:
    Junge = boy
    Mädchen=girl
    Waldhexe = forest witch
    Stolz = pride
    Liebling = darling/sweetheart (literally: favourite)
    Wildnis = wilderness
    Eins, zwei, drei, vier, fünf. = One, two, three, four, five.
    Hunger = hunger
    Großmutter = grandmother
    Kind = child
    Angst = fear (possibly ‘anxiety’, if more psychological)

    • @neerGdyahS
      @neerGdyahS 4 роки тому +53

      hunger = hunger
      Gee thanks. :P

    • @TheKansleren
      @TheKansleren 4 роки тому +20

      Thanks for putting in the work, Alex. Well done. :)

    • @dragonwithamonocle
      @dragonwithamonocle 4 роки тому +32

      I'm actually going to tell this story around a campfire tonight with my family. You are a hero for writing all this out. My hat is off to you.

    • @TenzinBeifongIII
      @TenzinBeifongIII 4 роки тому +39

      Love how you put "zemnian to common" instead of "german to english" 😂😂

    • @bloodhound330
      @bloodhound330 4 роки тому +14

      Just to add, I think Liam also says 'kinder" at some point which i think is "children"

  • @ethanpeterson5640
    @ethanpeterson5640 4 роки тому +314

    "She takes some a da brains out, and she's like HAMNUMNUMNUMNUM!!"
    Ashley is perfect.

    • @DuelaDent52
      @DuelaDent52 9 місяців тому

      “And that’s all done and she’s like “”hahahahaha!”” and the kids, y’know, they’re crying, they lost all their stuff, and they go back... why did they go there?”

  • @JordanGold5227
    @JordanGold5227 4 роки тому +436

    MARISHA: I'm Ashlying this so hard!
    ASHLEY: Hold my beer...

    • @kaizen5023
      @kaizen5023 4 роки тому +9

      Actually she did quite well :D And extra points for Ashley hilarity addons

    • @ShadowGalactica
      @ShadowGalactica 4 роки тому +13

      "I'm Ashleying this so hard!" *sends to Ashley*

    • @chean1815
      @chean1815 4 роки тому +10

      I feel this they may have created a new verb - to Ashley: to get something totally and wonderfully wrong

  • @Mixtape804
    @Mixtape804 4 роки тому +329

    I love that Matthew's DM shows so often during these things. His genuine intrigue when he saw Liam's version and just his comments on the performance's.

    • @Hellscrap3r
      @Hellscrap3r 3 роки тому +42

      His expression as soon as it started was basically "you have my FULL attention".

  • @JohnDoe-nq4du
    @JohnDoe-nq4du 4 роки тому +312

    "the tools I had at my disposal: booze containers and fire."
    Sam really is a little goblin girl.

    • @alexboyer6691
      @alexboyer6691 4 роки тому +1

      @@bigdream_dreambig I literally just watched that epidode

    • @JB-xl2jc
      @JB-xl2jc 4 роки тому +10

      I laughed so hard at that that I killed my whole family

    • @dddude55
      @dddude55 4 роки тому +1

      @@JB-xl2jc Guess I'll them off of a bridge

  • @bowes98
    @bowes98 4 роки тому +645

    Ashley’s “I’m a verb” had me ON THE FLOOR 😂😂

    • @nicktheotter
      @nicktheotter 4 роки тому +32

      And it's now in Urban Dictionary too :-)

    • @feylights166
      @feylights166 4 роки тому

      We must use it lol

    • @kullenne
      @kullenne 4 роки тому +8

      "Oh no, I'm ashleying this" "imaverb!"

    • @C_Bat
      @C_Bat 4 роки тому +9

      It was a Mercer's first law, after you say "I'm Ashleying so hard", cheery music shall play.

    • @lawfullyblind8403
      @lawfullyblind8403 4 роки тому +1

      Mercer: welcome to the club...

  • @alexi0208
    @alexi0208 4 роки тому +189

    Ashley "And they're cursed FOR-EVER"
    *Sam's door opens, and Travis's favorite cursed child enters*
    44:35

  • @cho0sakura
    @cho0sakura 4 роки тому +564

    Liam: Waldhexe
    Taliesin: Wursthex
    Me, a German: checks out

    • @sophiaro4593
      @sophiaro4593 4 роки тому +85

      Same here. At the beginning I was wondering where that goddamn vortex had come from until I realised that Waldhexe has to be super confusing for non native speakers when you don't know the meaning.

    • @kdjslvgds
      @kdjslvgds 4 роки тому +28

      @@sophiaro4593 I knew or could intuit most of the german, but I could not for the life of me figure out what this "vald" word was. Didn't even occur to me to spell it with a W when googling.

    • @cho0sakura
      @cho0sakura 4 роки тому +9

      @@kdjslvgds i can imagine its confusion. most soft v sounds (voiced v sounds) are orthographically expressed by /w/ in german, whereas the hard v (or voiceless, to be exact) are expressed by /w/ :)

    • @cho0sakura
      @cho0sakura 4 роки тому +24

      @@sophiaro4593 definitely, I just thought hearing "Wursthex" or at least something that sounded like it very funny :D now that picture of a witch selling sausages is stuck in my head

    • @Lutielledi2k
      @Lutielledi2k 4 роки тому +34

      Liam kinda mumbled Waldhexe a little so I’m trying to be fair to them but the SECOND I heard Taliesin just kinda “I don’t know what he said so I’ll just sort of approximate the sounds” I knew that word was going to end up something ridiculous. They Did Not Disappoint.

  • @incognito7739
    @incognito7739 4 роки тому +170

    Ashley's homnomnoms hijacked this entire story and honestly? I'm here for it

    • @erikdiaz6379
      @erikdiaz6379 4 роки тому

      I'm not tbh.

    • @DuelaDent52
      @DuelaDent52 9 місяців тому

      It goes from a dark parable about the Empire to some witch being a jerk and eating stupid children for no reason.

    • @rockandrollfantasy86
      @rockandrollfantasy86 2 місяці тому +1

      @@erikdiaz6379 Such an inspirational comment, thank you for sharing.

    • @rockandrollfantasy86
      @rockandrollfantasy86 2 місяці тому

      @@DuelaDent52 ok

  • @spencer_abrams
    @spencer_abrams 4 роки тому +191

    I think I'm going to continue thinking about Matt intensely asking "Who dropped the wheat?" for many years to come

  • @recurvess9569
    @recurvess9569 4 роки тому +381

    Liam: spooky story that makes children have mightmares.
    Ashley: Crazy aunt telling kids stories by the campfire at the beach. Kids are unphased.
    Matt: Senile wizard professor trying and failing to scare his students.

    • @RuteL
      @RuteL 4 роки тому +22

      Sam: Dad telling his kids a bedtime story and dozing off before them, mixing up the base details.
      (This happened with my grandmother when I was little, so that came to mind. xD)

    • @beetlejuiceblues12
      @beetlejuiceblues12 4 роки тому

      Bruh that's just who they are in real life XD

    • @Rexwar31
      @Rexwar31 4 роки тому +1

      Mightmares 😂

    • @recurvess9569
      @recurvess9569 4 роки тому +2

      @@Rexwar31 Omg, that was a typo but that is just too funny and appropriate to change.

    • @recurvess9569
      @recurvess9569 4 роки тому +4

      @@Rexwar31 Mightmares are what those poor bandits have 😂

  • @malenbadger7733
    @malenbadger7733 4 роки тому +509

    Ashley: Let me tell you a spooky tale...
    *Cheery music starts playing in the background*

    • @kkTeaz
      @kkTeaz 4 роки тому +10

      *perfect music*
      PERFECT *I SAY*

    • @franciscosauceda95
      @franciscosauceda95 4 роки тому +10

      She sounds like she's doing an impression of Jester doing a Caleb impression. I love it and Ashley is a cinnamon roll

    • @Panquernic
      @Panquernic 4 роки тому

      Caribbean music XD

  • @vicentefernandez9084
    @vicentefernandez9084 4 роки тому +172

    Holy fuck. Every single member of the cast is an amazing master of their craft. But Liam... Man, Liam's something special.

  • @EveningRain21
    @EveningRain21 4 роки тому +307

    Marisha: Oh god I'm Ashleying this
    Ashley: Hold my beer

    • @SeifellAlmancht
      @SeifellAlmancht 4 роки тому

      @@TenzinBeifongIII What? she doesn't seem to care at all. She knows she's bad at narrative telephone and Marisha saying that wasn't messed up in the slightest... They're really good friends and I doubt Ashley would stress over something so minor from a friend.

    • @TenzinBeifongIII
      @TenzinBeifongIII 4 роки тому

      @@SeifellAlmancht u right

  • @Dorumon281
    @Dorumon281 4 роки тому +106

    Liam: the child is metaphorically denied his ability to love other people
    Ashley, channeling a New Yorker: SO THIS CRONE DID A MORTAL KOMBAT ON DAT BOY

  • @alexmiller9249
    @alexmiller9249 4 роки тому +182

    Matthew mercer really salvaged some details that had been lost since the first transmission.

  • @hanna50000
    @hanna50000 4 роки тому +479

    “The other two children apparently just stand there and watch this happen and are like ‘my turn!’” Lol that one got me good 😂

    • @laurenhawes7201
      @laurenhawes7201 4 роки тому +23

      "And the last child, who for some reason still isnt running"

    • @anothercub6958
      @anothercub6958 4 роки тому +20

      Mom said it's my turn to get eaten by the hag

    • @marcwells942
      @marcwells942 4 роки тому +3

      "Hold Person" is a spell, after all

    • @jenjaynes8863
      @jenjaynes8863 4 роки тому +1

      Yes I was howling at this one

  • @cloudsteele1989
    @cloudsteele1989 4 роки тому +253

    "The other two children apparently just stand there and watch this happen and are like 'My turn'...And the third child for whatever god forsaken reason is still there and not running..." I love Mat.
    Also Lauras hair.

    • @laalratty
      @laalratty 4 роки тому +17

      This is heartbreaking when you remember the third child is Caleb.

    • @alexkoder1982
      @alexkoder1982 4 роки тому +10

      @@laalratty ...and in the end Caleb learned to love once again after journeying with the band of misfits known as The Mighty Nein!

    • @theodorehsu5023
      @theodorehsu5023 4 роки тому

      Cloud, was she trying to do the woman from Paranormal Activity? The Ring didn't have a girl, just a scary boy if I remember...

    • @mathybrain8
      @mathybrain8 4 роки тому

      @@theodorehsu5023 You don't remember. The Ring had the girl with wet hair who crawled out of the TV.

    • @theodorehsu5023
      @theodorehsu5023 4 роки тому

      @@mathybrain8 Thanks. Memory been a little fuzzy at times (never one for scary movies much). Was wicked Laura could now pull it off. Was wickedly funny Quyen brought The Walden Hexe (forest witch). Will be even more wondering what Ashley and Talesin will have for their own tales.

  • @mazie1874
    @mazie1874 4 роки тому +134

    Matt did so good and he didn’t even see Liam’s. He kinda got the metaphor too. He really did amazing on this one. I love Liam’s story so much

    • @VitaNewbo
      @VitaNewbo 4 роки тому +25

      Part of being a GM is knowing everyone's back stories, so he probably immideatly figured put the hidden meaning. And then decided to have fun by making fun of Caleb.

  • @michaelbraico631
    @michaelbraico631 4 роки тому +486

    Ashley's mounting panic from the very start is beautiful and terrible.

    • @JB-xl2jc
      @JB-xl2jc 4 роки тому +11

      One of my favorite things is that Ashley is talking about The Vortex while sitting next to a photo of a ship, if I only watched that first I would immediately think of a naval maelstrom/vortex

  • @p0lyxena
    @p0lyxena 4 роки тому +300

    Even during a fun game, Liam can always be counted on to tell a horrifying story of child-maiming and despair.

    • @PalleRasmussen
      @PalleRasmussen 4 роки тому +25

      He understand Germany.

    • @spartanchief2
      @spartanchief2 4 роки тому +12

      Pretty sure that's how German fairy tales went as well.

    • @ottoaureliuszwiebel
      @ottoaureliuszwiebel 4 роки тому +17

      as a german this was quite entertaining and appropriate for children of all ages ^^

    • @qrowacheron230
      @qrowacheron230 4 роки тому +4

      It's German humor mate, the horror makes the joy shine brighter

    • @PalleRasmussen
      @PalleRasmussen 4 роки тому +6

      @@ottoaureliuszwiebel as a Dane, I will say it is perhaps best suited to the very young ones who are still somewhat sensitive.

  • @DAEsaster
    @DAEsaster 4 роки тому +50

    I love Liam's symbolism. The empire is allowed to grow because of group think, obfuscation of the truth, and a lack of love in a neverending cycle. I also love the obvious inspiration from the Brothers Grimm cautionary tales.

    • @TheThreeHeadedDragon
      @TheThreeHeadedDragon 2 роки тому +4

      It's a metaphor for Eodwulf, Astrid, and Bren in that order.

  • @isabellahopeferris-green2897
    @isabellahopeferris-green2897 4 роки тому +391

    *She eats his eyes; his eyes are now no longer with him.*
    Yeah, that tracks.

    • @enigma1326
      @enigma1326 4 роки тому +12

      I think he doesn’t have eyes anymore

    • @kkTeaz
      @kkTeaz 4 роки тому

      @@enigma1326 *really?*

  • @Thomaznovaki
    @Thomaznovaki 4 роки тому +68

    I love how supportive Sam is. Every time one of them remembers a plot point or manages to at least pass the essential information he compliments them and let them know that they are doing great. He's a really good friend!

    • @rockswe
      @rockswe 4 роки тому +9

      Both he and Matt are super supportive anytime someone remembers stuff!

  • @raphaelr.4804
    @raphaelr.4804 4 роки тому +215

    I was waiting for Laura to go all Jester on this: "Listen so Caleb told me this story once but I don't think he did a very good job and anyway I was busy painting the wall, soo ... "

  • @rockprodchannel
    @rockprodchannel 4 роки тому +171

    I vote for a new series called “Spooky Caleb Stories”. And it’s a 5 minute video every week.

  • @stephenalley5177
    @stephenalley5177 4 роки тому +186

    "She goes to the first kid and eats his brain, now whenever he goes to Google something he forgets what he was looking up."
    "She goes to the second kid and eats one of her eyes, now she has no depth perception and her insurance rates are ridiculous cause she's been in so many accidents."
    "Finally she goes to the third kid and eats his heart. Now he has really poor circulation and his hands and feet fall asleep really easily."

    • @KidoKoin
      @KidoKoin 3 роки тому +12

      "Finally she goes to the third kid and eats his heart. Now he has really poor circulation and his hands and feet fall asleep really easily."
      He is also the mayor of his town and very rich, and everybody is looking up to him.

  • @thewarlocky
    @thewarlocky 4 роки тому +74

    Ashley: "Let me tell you a Spooky tale!"
    Editor: "Oh, I know just the tune to set the mood."

  • @ProphecyWillow
    @ProphecyWillow 4 роки тому +157

    Travis should always go after Laura. Him being distracted by his wife's adorableness is amazing!

  • @savannahsmith1319
    @savannahsmith1319 4 роки тому +325

    I like to imagine the characters are telling these stories
    So this episode was like Caleb telling Caduceus a bedtime story, and then Cad telling Beau the next morning and so on and so forth

    • @lightblue_12
      @lightblue_12 4 роки тому +38

      This would be such a good idea! Then we'll get to hear all the character voices and the story can be slightly different based on how the character perceives it :D I would love that to be the next round if they actually keep doing this when they can play again!

    • @Adharaaa
      @Adharaaa 4 роки тому +19

      Good news: there is a fanfic of this on ao3, it is a thing of beauty

    • @hannahc875
      @hannahc875 4 роки тому +4

      @@Adharaaa link?!

    • @Adharaaa
      @Adharaaa 4 роки тому +8

      Hannah C here it is archiveofourown.org/works/24466336

    • @savannahsmith1319
      @savannahsmith1319 4 роки тому +3

      @Adhara Raine YES PLEASE
      LINK!!

  • @captviper2100
    @captviper2100 4 роки тому +405

    The part where Sam's wife crawls away with the ring puppet is absolute hilarious!! Though I honestly thought it was one of Sam's kids!!

    • @toshomni9478
      @toshomni9478 4 роки тому +35

      I know. That's right up there with that journalist trying to broadcast from home and having his kids barge in.

    • @danmanx4804
      @danmanx4804 4 роки тому +2

      Same, 100%

    • @Ridley1313
      @Ridley1313 4 роки тому +2

      I can't find that. Timestamp?

    • @theodorehsu5023
      @theodorehsu5023 4 роки тому +7

      Quyen Tran: Waldenhexe. MVP.

    • @sarahwarren19
      @sarahwarren19 4 роки тому +14

      ridley1313 44:55

  • @idontwantahandle526
    @idontwantahandle526 4 роки тому +182

    As a bilingual German this feels like revenge for every time anybody has pointed out my teensie tiny accent, I love you guys

    • @Loon_1
      @Loon_1 4 роки тому +3

      From Germany or learning german?
      Weil ich bin auch Deutscher, kinda trilingual und ich liebe das zu sehr xD

    • @FaxeAxe
      @FaxeAxe 4 роки тому

      That is true, also bilingual German, it is so nice how they try to do. German.