Please tell me just your first names. I want to pray for you both 🙏❤️. Because what you got is so precious and so wonderful, this should be the norm in the church like it used to be. I just turned 28, God's calling into pastor hood and I've miraculously stayed pure. I've made that decision because I know that it will be the best healthiest thing for my future marriage. Please pray for me Jack G.
I feel like their positions are rooted in carnal thinking 😂. Like they just said “we don’t value purity” in everything they said in that podcast. As a virgin I never had anything against a man with a history as long as he’s walking in purity for longer than a couple years. (Because I personally feel like you need that time of just you and God to truly value your relationship with Him) but this attitude makes me feel sour and tells me I’m better off with another virgin if my valuing Jesus has been seen as a “burden” that a man doesn’t want to carry. You’re telling me that your desire for marriage is rooted in your own pleasure, when marriage is the place beyond serving yourself but serving your spouse and serving your children. The mentality is childish and tells me the marriage wouldn’t go well tbh.
Thanks for speaking up. I think you’re right. As a woman on the other end of the spectrum, with a much higher “body count” than what they just approved of as appropriate mate material, I thank God I married a man who cared more about my current relationship with Christ rather than my past behaviors as a lost young woman seeking validation in the free for all of the 90’s I grew up in. How dare these guys try to give women advice on how to attract the right man. Be quiet. Let the godly women follow Christ and not your advice and they will find the right man organically through the Holy Spirit.
I married a virgin and the only responsibility I felt was making sure she was comfortable with being sexual. I had been with many women, nothing crazy, yet chose to wait almost two years and for marriage to be intimate with her. It's been great the whole time.
You sound like my old boss and his wife. Although BOTH were not virgins upon marriage they held off until their Wedding Day. Still married- what 40 years later.
That’s an important thing. Making sure she’s comfortable. Vice verse, I’m sure there’s a man out the who’s been active and married a virgin that expected her to do what other women have done! Good on you.
That’s a beautiful perspective! I’m sure that made her feel very loved and respected. I’m assuming that’s your honey in the picture - she looks adorable! May God bless your marriage 🙌🏽
@@ClearandHealthyBoundaries whoremongers are messing it up for the dudes who are actually living right. Marrying an (adult) virgin woman should be a REWARD from God for your OBEDIENCE. Especially if she's hot and she's your age. I don't have to worry about her creeping behind my back. I don't want distractions. I can focus on working hard and provide an honorable life for the both of us.
What I don’t understand is the obsession with virginity in relation to purity. You can be the most virgin virgin in the whole world, and not be saved, and still go to the same place as the rest of the u saved sinners on earth. I repeat: just because you’re a virgin does not mean that you are pure!!!! Please people stop focusing on virginity and focus on the idea of keeping your body a place where the Holy Spirit can live. The Holy Spirit can live in a former porn star. The Holy Spirit can live in a former prostitute. The Holy Spirit can live in sinners, that was the whole point of Jesus Christ: it’s because we are not pure that we need Christ to purify us. Saving yourself for marriage does not automatically equate to purity! Chastity should affect the heart, mind, and soul, not just certain body parts.
You can be virgin, saved too, but be addicted to porn and mastrubation. That was me and I'm sure it would still cause problems. So just being a "virgin" techniquilly isn't really a clear state anymore. Maybe good self control? idk
Yes, I’d hope you wouldn’t be watching porn, mastrubating and delighting in being a virgin. I’m a nearly 40 year old virgin and practice self discipline in all areas as the Word teaches
@@zainabibraheem We all make mistakes and fall even while following Christ that’s why we have Gods grace. Doesn’t make it right or something to continue but addiction can be hard to break. Leaning on Gods strength not ours, trusting God will see us through. Jesus came here for broken people to heal those who are hurting. You can be saved and struggle to do better. Everyday is a new day and a new chance to have self control. Repentance is a huge part to the process aswell If we could be perfect we wouldn’t have needed Jesus
I was a virgin until I was 25 years old and lost it on my wedding night and my husband was a virgin as well. I preferred to have someone that was saving themselves. I always just worked part time so that I am able to be with my kids.
Before I committed my life to Christ is had probably 10-15 sexual partners. My husband is a virgin and knew about my promiscuous past before we got engaged. I felt so much shame about it but he always reminded me of the grace God has for me.
Same for me. I was not a virgin and had slept with at least ten men. But my husband who was also a pastor at the time and was 28 was a virgin. We have never had any issues in the bedroom. I told him up front day one that I was t a virgin and he said well God has forgiven you so it’s not an issue. I have never had any guilt about not being a Virgin because I just feel I did those things before I met my husband and before I knew Christ and now I’m forgiven . We have now been married 25 years!
Humans are flawed and struggle with the capacity for sin and temptation regardless of status, age, size, male or female and there are those who don't like to be reminded of it, but that does not mean you have to stay that way because Jesus Christ had opened the gates of salvation even if it costed him his life for you and everyone else.
I'm a 37yo virgin waiting for marriage. I'm happy I've survived lol this long in a culture that pushes s3x all the time. I've always tried to follow the Bible and definitely believe in soul ties. I've always hoped to marry another virgin so we can share 1st together but at my age(if his is close) that might not happen. Thats if he's wavered from his Christian path or became a believer later in life. I've met some men that are virgins in their 30s but it seems rare. Whatever God has for me, I'll take. I'm sure its not a man that would think of me as an unwanted responsibility.
I have two Christian Brothers who are 45 & one Christian Brother who is 35 years old (this year) who are all virgins. That virginity is expected goes without saying in my Apostolic, Pentecostal church community. 🇨🇦
but start looking bro you 37 already, seek a girl out and ask God to close doors if it isn't the right one. How will God get you a gal if you don't get out of the house? you gotta put your part in.
I love conversations like these!!! before being saved, my body count was in the teens... now after Christ found me, I am so excited that I am celibate! and I'll be celibate until I die if that's what God calls for my life. Christ is King! I pray everyone that watches this video finds it with an open heart and choices celibacy until after marriage and you all have Christ centered peaceful marriages. God bless "bless God" studios!!!!
I would encourage Christian men and women to pray specifically for their future spouse (if you want to be married). I think it's possible to encounter men / women that align with following Christ and his word to a T. If you are someone that believes in and values purity / celibacy date someone that holds that same value. Ruslan is completely correct in saying that not every person in church is following biblical sexual ethics. I've seen it many times over. Pray, pray, pray 🙏🏿
This conversation was so helpful and edifying for me, thank you guys! As a Christian woman who is single, a virgin, and in my early 20's, it's such a good reminder to me to value and preserve my purity, not only in action, but in spirit/mind. And also to keep pursuing the Lord and letting Him renew my thoughts everyday and becoming the woman God wants me to be to also attract a godly man. I love these types of conversations! It's so sad to think that purity is not as high of a priority to some Christians today (of course that may have a lot to do with the damage caused by "purity culture".)
The world's standards have slowly creeped into the church, especially among Gen Z. Their standard regarding dating, marriage and purity leans more towards the world than what the Church encourages. If this is becoming a popular opinion/preference then the Church has some serious work to bring truth. Lastly, it's the double standard of not wanting a virgin, but you draw the line at women who have had a past in s**work for me.. While I appreciate that people are being honest, this is not a biblical reflection of intimacy. It just seems more like people don't want the admin of being with a virgin... You want to have an immediate, mind blowing intimate life from day 1...yet it's a journey... In short, this screams more about pleasing flesh than finding a suitable life partner. Thank you Ruslan being honest open about this, as I was so discouraged after this live.. But I guess discussing these issues will shed more light. Can't wait to see your collab with Kojo.
It's not a double standard. The standard is quite simple. He wants someone that's evenly yoked.... And that's fine. He's probably doing a virgin a favor by turning them away. Sexual history brings with it a lot of baggage .... And virgins know this
Yes I agree. I didn’t see the live bit even hearing those clips was disappointing. People aren’t willing to see past the possible challenges that might come with marrying a virgin, even to be with someone who has been strong enough and close enough to the lord to remain a virgin? That’s not easy to do and that’s a person who likely really has faith in the Lord.
I use wish we talked more openly in the church like this. I used to as a youth pastor but I’ve always said the church should be a place where we discuss things like dating and sex so it is safe. So many young people go off the cliff of sexuality because they don’t have a safe space to discuss dating and the world pitches what seems like a better idea of it which only breaks you down
At my church we preach true love Waits. In the teaching we cover a portion regarding God's plan for the family. It includes sex. And it's beautiful, fun, and pleasurable. It's just meant to occur under the covenant of marriage.
I am a virgin in her 30’s, very hard meeting a guys that don’t want a sexual relationship.where can I meet someone that share my biblical stands on relationships 😢?
Don't look, give it to God and then leave it alone. From experience, when you look you'll hardly ever find it or you'll find what you're NOT looking for and you don't want that unnecessary drama in your life. Give it to God. Wait on Him, he'll choose the best. I understand the struggle, God bless you sis
Just seen this video and I was a virgin when I met my wife 10 yrs ago. Kept myself celibate and was constantly asked by both men and women why I kept holding onto my V-card. Literally was like I'm honoring God's way until I'm led to find my wife and I need to learn to take care of myself before I can take care of someone else. I got much respect for it and ppl I spoke with wish they could turn the hands of time back and not lost their V-card until they got married.
Yea their perspective does suck because it’s almost like women who are virgins and who have been pure are being seen as less than or unwanted. The world already looks down on virgins and now some Christian men are too. Smh
it's not just Christian men though. In my experience it was male and female older church members that started to look at people funny and whisper when people reached a certain age and were still virgins. (even though one of the reasons you're were still a virgin is because the church scared you to death about going to hell if you didn't save yourself for marriage.) Some Christians really were like "oh, you too old to be a virgin you must be lesbian or gay." even though they preached abstinence before marriage, being a lesbian was a lot worse than fornicating. So, more grace was extended to those who were having premarital sex because that behavior at least confirmed for the church that the person wasn't gay or lesbian. p.s. Sexually active men in the churches I've attended, around 25-30 y.o. were not avoiding virgins 😄. they were doing their part to de-virginize whosoever was in need 😂
@@davispatricks5453 Unfortunately you're right. Most people who claim Christianity aren't really Christians. My own grandma falls into this category. She thinks I should have been with someone by now. 27 virgin.
I honestly don't see an issue with a non virgin Christian to not want a virgin... Sex is very serious and they would probably understandably want someone that has the same sexual history as them so there is understanding going into intimacy.... A virgin wants a virgin usually as well. I actually find it much stranger that a man with multiple body counts would specifically want a virgin.... Because that automatically gives him psychological advantage to manipulate someone with no sexual experience.
@Mandy Gee Everything you said is incorrect. Nothing you said edifies others. None of what you said is founded in any basis of truth found outside one's own arrogance or short term perspective of a single culture in 2022. In order to leave comments like that one has to have an extremely low sense of awareness of the world around them, and have little interest in building anything worthwhile in the lives of people around them.
@Mandy Gee People obsess with being a virgin because it is sin in God's eyes to have sex outside of marriage. Sex is only allowed by God within the confines of marriage between a man and a woman. Someone waiting for marriage would be (or should be) a virgin until then. If a person could not discipline themselves and have sex before marriage, God forgives, but it is not God's best for their life.
@Mandy Gee Social construct? God's design is that sex is contained within a marriage. The idea of "experience" is a social construct. A husband and wife can and should learn together with each other. By God's standard, a nonvirgin marrying would be a widow or widower. It's not about obsessing about virginity pe se, it's about valuing marriage and sex God's way.
People need to remember that everything is is spiritual. If you have intercourse with someone you are soul attachment with that person. That's why when you get married become "one". So if someone is having many sex partners that person is getting attached with all those souls. But many aren't ready to know the truth.
Agreed but you can break demonic soul ties off. The person is born again through Christ if they're a true follower of Jesus. I'm a virgin and it is hard to get with a non virgin though nonetheless
@@vivaeuropa yes as a born again Christian we are, but is still a warfare...a demon won't stay away if is not properly taken out. Only through fasting and praying and is stipulated by Yeshua. (Matthew 17:21) remember when Christ had to rebuke Peter and call him Satan (and he was still a follower and believer) and ot was because he let his guard down for a second. Sexual immorality spirit is one of the really bad spirit.
I am going to be 30 in 6 months and I’m still a virgin. For me it’s never been about “saving myself” for my future husband but it been more about honoring God with every aspect of my life. So when. I hear things like this it really doesn’t bother me, cos it’s never really been about pleasing man but pleasing God. This generation will actually try to make you feel bad for taking this path but in all honesty i really can’t be moved . P.S: I do understand virginity does not equal purity, cos you can still be a virgin but be very inpure in your heart and mind, and also have an addiction to masturbation and porn. That being said, whether you’re a virgin or a newly celibate Christian the ultimate goal should be living a live that pleases God and not really about getting a spouse.
I'm a Christian woman saving myself for marriage and to be honest I want a Christian man also saving himself for marriage. It's just a desire of my heart that I've always had. I don't want him to having shared himself with someone else as that would be very hurtful to me. In this day and age it's so hard to find but I'm trusting God to grant me the desires of my heart.
Trash mentalities. The words coming out of this man's mouth. So you learned the right thing the wrong way, and now that you're "older and wiser", you intentionally avoid woman who desire the right thing the right way? THIS DUDE is a christian? This grieves me man. Emotional connection? Bro. What else would you expect to happen between a husband and wife??? Don't want the responsibility? This is foolishness. This burns me up inside man....😠
Maybe I missed something in the vid, but I agree with you. He may be a Christian, but he needs more enlightenment in this area. that's why it's not always wise to do hot take commentary on topics. sometimes you need to take a topic marinate on it, pray on it, and seek guidance from the scriptures. then make a video.
I took it that he didn’t want the responsibility of being with a virgin because he…didn’t trust himself with her heart. Maybe he was afraid that he’d ruin her.
As a Christian from London 🇬🇧, who is a viewer of you and Kojo, loved this conversation and looking forward to watching your video together🙌 Really appreciated your perspective on this topic🙏
Getting married is easy nowadays but staying married till death do you part is not common. Sex is too overrated. I'm a virgin and am 29. I don't regret my decision. Whether you choose God or Satan you will pay a price but I will rather pay a price with God in my boat than Satan in my boat. shalom.🥰
@Katshell girl I feel the same way! If I was out in these streets, throwing it back I would definitely have a husband by now! 😂😂😂 I’d rather wait on God’s best!💯
The truth of the matter is what we have seen time and time again for 2000 years+ is that calling yourself "Christian" means NOTHING to God and often to the world too. It is entirely carnally minded to desire a non virgin over a virgin unless you have a thing for widows or those who previously divorced sexually immoral spouses. Even unbelievers often have enough awareness to prefer virgin females at least as pair bonding is something believers should be aiming for.
I’m a virgin (in my 30s), and I don’t care if my spouse is or isn’t. As Ruslan’s wife said, it could be a plus to be with someone with experience. Honestly, I’m not concerned about that. But if she isn’t one, she shouldn’t try to convince me to have sex.. this has happened to me, so in a sense to prevent that, dating a woman who is also a virgin is a plus.
To me if you’re a virgin man and you don’t care weather or not you’re partner is a virgin make sure you guys are just on the same page and make sure she isn’t the kind of woman who would rush you to have sex and takes the time with you until you feel ready.
I care more about whether they have an STD/ HIV-AIDS, Hep C, than virginity. No one ever speaks about this and I think it's more important. You can break/pray away spiritual bonds from fornication. I haven't seen any STDs get removed through prayer....
I was a virgin male and preferred a virgin as well but God pointed out my wife and she wasn't a virgin. I had a choice to make follow the spirit or keep my preferences. I chose God and married a girl that had a sexual past 5 yr into this relationship and I wouldn't pick anyone else.
I'm a virgin and marrying someone who is a virgin has never been a requirement for me. If he is, that's fine, but I really do believe in the new birth, being born again, renewing the mind. Not saying it won't take work, and time but I believe in the power of God. If God can raise up the spiritually dead and the physically dead, he can heal someone with a sexual past.
I'm a 30 year old virgin & to answer the question, I would marry someone who's had the average body count. I think people tend to equate virginity with purity but it's not always the case. There's virgins who are addicted to porn, masturbation etc. so I can't dismiss or judge someone for not keeping their purity, when I haven't always kept mine either.
I love Kojo! Been tuning into his channel since I came across it like 3 years ago. He does a lot of deep dive discussions on relationships and the current social climate. It would be dope for you two to collab!
I mean, I think a Christian not wanting to marry a virgin is kinda weird. Being a virgin doesn’t automatically mean you are uneducated on sex. There are books you can and should read before getting married. I’m not understanding what is the responsibility he’s referring to? He will feel guilty? Hopefully he has repented and is working on avoiding lust right now in his single time. Whether you’re a virgin or not, intimacy in marriage will be a journey you will need to work on and communicate about with your spouse at some point.
This was good advice! Especially toward the end when you talked about the priest/protector of your home and about wanting someone to stay home with the kids. I'm a grandma, so it is easy for me to look back and see how correct you are in this advice and I'm so glad that my daughter is afforded the ability to stay home with the kids. In fact, her husband has an at home job in sales, so he is somewhat available as well. Also, I go over to her house 3 days per week to help her with homeschooling; and I'm so happy she has made that choice and is seeing the value in it.
I was a virgin when I met my wife in college freshman year at 19. She was 18. I gave on thinking I would find a woman that wasn't a virgin 😂 so when I met her, and I actually really liked her, it was a wrap. We married 5 years later. That being said, I TOTALLY understand a non virgin Christian not wanting a virgin. My wife and I learned about physical intamacy together. We had almost identical pasts when it came to intamacy and so we've never felt out of wack with each other. All we've ever felt was burning passion even 5 years into our marriage. I can't even imagine how much more difficult it would be if one of us had a sexual history 😑 So I think it's fair, as unfair as it sounds, for especially a Christian man to not want to bring that complexity into the life of a virgin woman's life. Automatically the man will feel like they will need to educate their woman on how to have sex as if they're a child. And even though that might not be true in reality, the risk of that reality is still there. I empathize with the guy's concern for being in an unevenly yoked relationship like that. I think he could phrase it better. I think the underlying concern for him is that he will naturally compare her to his past experiences and will be to scared to be vulnerable in that way because she won't understand.... And THATS TOTALLY FAIR. On the other hand, a woman who's had a past will likely share that same pattern and will be much easier to open up to.
@Mandy Gee You could also say it's unfair for a virgin to reject a someone with a past as well. But it's still perfectly reasonable. Not every human is the same and we should have the liberty, at the very least as Christians, to choose someone based on some factors that we know about ourselves. I'm not saying that EVERYONE non virgin should reject virgins. I'm saying it's fair for Christians to assess their themselves on what they think will be appropriate for them to enter into a lifelong partnership with. If we think it's fair for a virgin to reject non virgins, then the opposite should be true. Because there are non virgins that are redeemed, but a virgin still has every right to reject them still.
@Katshell Yes all of that is possible. But a single person is always well within their right to be picky about the possibilities.... It's always better to not be married then to get into an unhealthy relationship that you could have avoided
The Holy Spirit make us new 2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” there is no problem... your past is as good as dead in Christ...im waiting for marriage and its really not a train smash because our journey to salvation is not the same.
Laterras T. Whitfield the gentleman speaking with Kojo in this podcast has an awesome testimony and his podcast have a redemptive purpose. He does not portray himself to be a Bible scholar nor attempt to judge one’s relationship with father based on how many deep biblical truths they know. He transparent, forthright and humble.
I don't care if my wife is a virgin or not. I care if she truly loves Christ, expressed in her actions and attitudes towards others, particularly the poor, weak and outcasts. I would add to this; girls who I've had one night stands with or who had multiple partners were not as sensitive in ways that the less promiscuous girls were, and that was a turn-off. Regarding Christian women who sleep about, it mostly happens in larger churches where there is a lack of deep, CONVICTing preaching, little deep discipleship, and they won't have any spiritual depth. I was promiscuous before Christ and have enough experience to know that you learn and adapt to your sexual partner's preferences. Most sexual activity can be taught. A lot comes down to understanding how the human anatomy works, and training the body to be mobile, strong, durable and agile. It's really as simple as that. P.S. I would really recommend Christian men, secondary to their spiritual foundations being in place, ought to train how to be problem solvers, learn self-defense and be able to teach it to their future family and learn practical home skills like plumbing, basic electrical work, plastering etc. Stewardship is nit just how well you run your financial resources but also maximising the time you have to maximally provide for your family, including being able to teach your family how to survive with practical skills, should your life end the next day. Just my opinion.
This guy is trippin. Men dont want to be with a virgin? I would love to have been with a virgin. It is Gods idea that we are virgins before marriage. To say that you dont want to be with a virgin would be to reject Gods idea or Gods blueprint for sexual standard of purity. You may have failed to meet that standard but that doesnt mean you should reject his standard. I think your focusing too much on your past brokenness instead of Gods redemption.
Thank you for this convo, Ruslan and cohost! The Body of Christ needs to have more honest, important convos like these to really get to the heart of God-fearing people and their very real earthly experiences.
Do women get degrees and earn money in order to attract a man? I think I understand the point Ruslan is making when he says "he doesn't care about how many degrees you have...make yourself the type of person who will attract the man you want..." but whenever folks say that sort of thing it seems to be missing something to me. I didn't get any of my degrees in the hopes that they'd make me more attractive, I got them because I wanted to learn more about the subject I was studying. I didn't start a business to be more attractive but because I was passionate about something. On the flip side, I hope men aren't developing traits for the sole purpose of being more attractive to women. It could be my own misunderstanding but those sorts of arguments seem to reduce a person to their attractiveness to the opposite sex. We're all more than that, right?
The reason He said that is because that is the male psychology. That is what a man will do if he wanted a wife. Women and men view the world differently.
@vivaeuropa Not crazy at all. I just posted a comment on the same thing. I care more about whether the person has STDs than being a virgin or not. Who wants to catch what the scriptures calls an "inflammation" down there?
I’m glad you guys are having this conversation. Purity is not discussed in the church enough.As a woman who did not wait until marriage I am thankful that God set me aside to purify me of those fleshy desires. At the time I didn’t realize the damage it was doing to me. When I finally wanted to be a wife, those things really held me back in bondage. God is so good.. he continues to redeem us.
Yeah same. Im not sure why both genders aren’t given the purity talk; even if that means to charge men to be capable men and providers. We talk too much on the metaphysical end less on the physical end of our relationships.
I believe that the majority of people who identify as Christian think this way. This is just from my anecdotal experience though. For the one's who are generally considered attractive at least...
@@missmytime Then we'll have to throw the majority of Christians out of the conversation, wouldn't we? Even the people in this video are basically saying that they prefer someone with experience rather than one who chose to be pure, since people who have experience don't require nearly as much accountability due to their lesser expectations. I think it's just a phase the majority of Christians fail at, but once they find a spouse, it becomes a sin issue they no longer have to deal with.
@@Eiramilah I have a mastermyhabits.com with my christian therapist about becoming the type of person you want to be. But that’s less geared towards women. I would say ask and listen to what successful christian men desire in women. And work on those areas. I mentioned it at the end of the video. Then extend your network.
I married my ex-wife when I was 20 and she was 22. I had one previous partner and my ex had 12. I found out her number after marriage and honestly it made me very insecure and looking back it was the downfall of my marriage. There was a multitude of reasons for us eventually parting ways but I believe that was the catalyst that promoted the breakdown of my marriage.
Sorry to hear that. Yeah, she should've definitely been honest about that before marriage. I myself would not have wanted to marry her if I were you and knew about that beforehand. I hate that that's the case with so many women these days and that they're often not honest about it.
Unfortunately I’m not a virgin and I know I could never wish for something like that from a woman especially because that’s not something I could give for her.
Thank YOU for addressing the Redemption part. Christ died for all sins including promiscuity. He changes peoples hearts. I know He changed mine. But if I had a choice -being hindsight is 20/ 20 I would most certainly change some of my past. I'm thrilled you are encouraging virginity in a common sense healthy way. On another note- Some of the most perverted souls on the Planet are Ultra Religious( Josh Duggar, Bill Gothard, etc etc etc) and look pure on the outside. I think those folks needs to be addressed as well
Was barely a virgin when I got married. Was so thankful that God kept me holding on by a thread to that. Because it would’ve been much more hurtful to my wife if I had already lost that coming in.
Imagine being discriminated against because you did what was right, by the same people who are supposed to value what is right...I don't understand this....A woman who has kept herself has proven herself in so many ways. She has displayed Faithfulness, self-control, obedience...is that not what any Christian man would want in a partner?
@@sia6929 oh I'm definitely with you on that. By no means is a virgin superior, and she definitely doesn't deserve more love either.... But neither is she inferior...keeping your virginity is precious in God's sight, women who have done it deserve to be applauded, not despised for it. It's spiritually backward to despise the people who actually did what was right and kept themselves. I think in the Christian world people are inclined to put virgins down in order to feel good about themselves because they know they should have waited and they didn't.
@@sia6929 let me preface this by saying that any woman or man who comes to Christ, virgin or not and is keeping themselves should be celebrated. So it doesn't matter if you are a virgin or not, as long as you are obeying now. Having said that If someone refuses you because you are a virgin then they have in a sense despised you for it...or actually despised isn't a good word. They have considered it as a negative against you. This is perplexing. If you are Christian, then by Christian standards, the mentality expressed by LBB in the video is illogical, since as Christians we are to value that which is good and keeping yourself is a very good thing. Or do you want to dispute that? So a woman or man for that matter, should not be discounted for being a virgin. It's a backward way of thinking. Somebody in this comments section correctly pointed out that carnal minded people think like this, since they are only really worried about their pleasure when they say it. You can scroll down and see poik247's comment if you have not seen it already. I'm 100 per cent with her on that.
I think you both have good points here. There are plenty of virgins with rotten hearts, and plenty of women who used to be promiscuous whose hearts have been made pure. I was in my twenties when I lost my virginity and had a rotten heart, that was brought up religious outwardly but inwardly had not been converted. Equally, there are some that have been made new in the heart and have remained pure in their body. So, to conclude, it's more an issue of the heart for me.
Oh wow…didn’t know you knew of LBB… I’m subscribed to you both even though I disagree with you both at times 😀 But appreciate most of what you’re saying here👍🏾 The only thing is disagree with is the overgeneralization. Not all successful Christian men want a stay-at-home wife…this is simply untrue statistically and even from a common sense perspective. I know a lot of them. Successful men are not a monolith. I’m in a male dominated field with men in a line of work where we earn multiple six figures on average, and many of these men love that their wives are career women. Funny because I just got a notification from one of my many acquaintances as we speak. a pastor that I went on a missions trip with, his wife of decades is a successful career woman AND a mother to his (4 or 5?) kids, and he loves to talk about how her success was part of what attracted him to her. Maybe men in your space could care less about a woman’s degrees and financial success (and no offense, but in hip hop culture that’s not a surprising phenomenon). but in fields like mine they dote on their wives’ accomplishments like trophies. I’ve noticed you seem committed to your perspective for some reason 🤷🏾♀️but it’s simply not accurate overall.
@@missmytime you think most men making 6 figures + want their children raised by daycare? Or you think they want to stop their career to be stay at home dads? Yes most men aren’t against a women working. But when there’s little children involved, and the man has the option of a career women boss babe or someone that’s willing to put their career on hold for little children, what do you think they’ll chose?
@@BlessGodStudios What I do know is that almost all the men I know that make 6- (or 7-figures) have career wives. Almost all of them. I work with them, I’m related to them, plus I’ve dated 6-7 figure guys that say it’s what they’re attracted to. They want partners that understand what it’s like to be at the top. They tend to prefer egalitarian relationships in my experience. In my field, I’ve noticed that a lot of the highest execs tend to be allies of women, and they’re successful enough to see how hard it is for corporate women to break the glass ceiling in the male-dominated fields, so they respect women that manage to do it (and even love them for it). Plus, y’all are forgetting that a lot of the high-paying careers offer remote work opportunities now, which is great for women with little kids. I, for one, make multiple 6 figures working 100% from home. Women are great multi-taskers. It’s commonplace to have women on zoom calls with baby on their lap. (Or men - nothing emasculating about that.) Other fields like healthcare, law etc offer great flexibility, and professionals in these fields tend to marry others from the same field. I’d respect this conversation more if Ruslan caveated his position by saying that HE and HIS friends would prefer stay-at-home moms, but obviously most men are not Ruslan.
@@SFP0181 IE the Duggars, Quiverful, Fundie Mormons Researcher these They all place blame on women NEVER on men. Not to mention societal acceptance of men being promiscuous whilst expecting women to be pure is simply disgusting and NOT acceptable I truly believe the hypocrisy and double standards of men caused feminism.
It's nice to talk about, but most people who say this stuff are not about that life. It's easy to talk about remaining celibate from inception when you don't have to live that way, or never had to, assuming that is the case on your end. I believe most Christians are unqualified to talk about purity because they lack the experiential empathy to relate to those who actually have chosen this path. And this is not to be sanctimonious, but it's because I've seen too many church leaders urge people to live this way, but provide no practical support which in a way leaves such people very isolated from people in the church since very few practice it or have ever practiced it.
@@fellow7224 Great points. You brought up an even more complex issue. I hate how single people are treated as lesser than marrieds. Or at least made to feel that way.
It’s WILD to hear supposedly Christian men viewing virginity (a thing that God has told men and women to keep until marriage) as a negative thing. To view a woman who is a virgin as too much responsibility is WILD! SMH The husband is supposed to be the head of the family and priest of their home. The marriage is supposed to be for the kingdom, for God’s glory. That’s the responsibility they should be focused on. Judging from the clip shown of Kojo aka Little Black Book and dude from Dear Future Wifey they are speaking from a carnal perspective, leaning on their own understanding and past experiences/sins and not thinking as disciples of Christ which is what we are called to be. It’s immature to think that a partner who isn’t a virgin will be a better choice when in reality they may not be sexually compatible. 🤷🏽♀️ Whether your future spouse is a virgin or not isn’t the issue it’s trusting God with all areas of our life and following His word because we love Him and He gave His only son for us.
Even the red pill says it's better to marry a virgin, yet Christians in these streets are saying something different which doesn't promote purity "a biblical" principle. Yes I understand when you are not pure yourself it may sound hypocritical, but to make it a standard statement, coming from a Christian is crazy
While these men might be part of the church, they're still lost in their desire for sexual immorality. You're right, they lack discipleship and I worry for them that they have some kind of platform where they're spreading this insanity. Not everyone should have a podcast.
So I listened to the video. I don't think they were wrong in their assessment of why some men who are Christian and have had sex already don't seek virgins. Like, I dated a virgin in high school after I lost/gave away my virginity wrongly, and although I sought to further relationship with her, the virgin, it did not work out overall. And as I continued to give in to my lustful desires, although I may have been able to make a woman who is a virgin happy and feel completely loved, I would have definitely brought a lot of baggage on her, which I don't think I was prepared to do at that time. But, I did not seek my wife because she was not a virgin I pursued her because I loved her character. Overall, proper discipleship would help men who have given themselves away as well as women who have given themselves away in seeking that type of relationship if it be what God has in store for them.
From the perspective of a woman who just turned 20, and waiting until marriage, I think it's so sad that men are ashamed of being a virgin or that being a virgin is a negative thing. Fornication is against God's word, and to see other men get chastised or made fun of because they don't partake in sexual sin is very disheartening. I think there is a lot more baggage that comes with forming soul ties with multiple sex partners, having higher risk of sex diseases, and possible pregnancies. Having a baby mama is way more baggage than not having sex. Saying that a man doesn't want to be with a virgin because "it's too much responsibility" sounds very immature. Just my opinion though.
I think I’d be totally fine being with a godly woman who has had 3-5 partners as long as they are walking purely with the Lord now and have had a good track record for a while now (I’d say a couple of years is a good indicator of how serious they are). God can redeem anyone and I know He’s redeemed me from so much! I am a virgin but was a slave to masturbation in high school and early on in college. I can extend grace to someone who has a broken sexual past. It goes both ways when observing each other’s fruit and seeing if the other person is yielded to the Holy Spirit. Are they loving, have self-control, peaceful, joyful, kind, faithful etc? Love how you openly discuss topics like this Ruslan! I wish this was more openly discussed in church because I backslid for a few years and I think having a safe space to talk about these issues would have prevented me from sinning against God and my body that He gave me to steward well and for His glory!
I find the I don't want the "responsibility" viewpoint rather worldly quite honestly. So that says to me.. ok so what other responsibilities would be too much for the dude? I mean kudos for honesty but 😒 There are men and women who are "technical virgins" and dirty ho's in their minds and even in their actions going right up to that "technical" line... so.. I would rather be with someone who had made a mistake, and come out of that with a pure, clean and chaste heart before God & was currently living celibate than the other. Do I want to be with someone who has had extensive sexual history, not particularly but what if the guy that God has for me had a crazy bad past and God redeemed him? Am I going to be like no God, he's not a virgin so he's out? no. no I'm not. Virginity is precious. It is a beautiful gift. Chastity and celibacy also, beautiful gift. To those who live for God in that way, don't let the world tell you different, it is a right and good thing.
When I was young and virgin myself, I was considered really attractive by everyone. And had too many boys and men asking to date me. But I only ever considered a man for a relationship who I believed was a virgin as well. I wasnt religious then. I just wanted to have a mutually special experience. And just didnt feel it would be fair for me to loose my virginity to a non virgin man. There werent many men to choose from because of that. But I found myself one. He wasnt rich or even too handsome by social standards, but he the right one for me. To this day am very happy with my choice and our bond has been incredible!
When you say Christian men. Do you mean the ones who are already virgins? Cause ain’t no Christian man in his right head will want a women who’s been thru it. I’m writing pre video
Exactly as a believer you would want to optimise your pair bonding ability and marry a believing female if possible right? Not actually prefer a sexually immoral woman.
I think we often hear women fall in love with what they hear. I think you can be capable, have a mission, have standards, fit, nutrition minded, confident and not know how to talk to women or have a feminine voice. These things are never talked about and I don’t know why.
Me neither. But I do know preachers tend to beat up on men with their words instead of actually giving them information and solutions to their problems. They would rather cater to their majority female audience than actually help out men who are out in the wilderness.
This conversation is weird. Why are men seeking out virgins if they themselves are not???! And why does it matter if a person is a virgin or not? It's their character, values, personality, connection and compatible that is important and vital in a relationship.
Yes it should go both ways , !! Men should be chaste too. you are not a good Christian if u sleep with a lot of women and then want a virgin wife at the end? double standards! Live by example ! Be the change u want the world to be . people now are hypocrites
@@njrom2975 Well said, I think these so-called "men of God" forget what God they serve and are leaning towards the world (men these days especially, whether Christian or non-Christians, revere this awful creature named Andrew Tate (or similar egotistical maniacs) for answers on relationships rather than scriptures. They forget that they are dealing with God's children when engaging or interacting with women. And when generational curses come unto these men because of their behavior in their early adulthood, they still feel entitled to have their cake and eat it too! Although people can lie, and it's not as simple as "virgins matching with virgins" and "non-virgins matching with non-virgins," I would highly discourage young women to entertain males who are not sexually disciplined (or vice versa), especially those who haven't demonstrated dedication to commit their life to God in a way that would cause them to change their old ways... Because how you do one thing is how you do everything! And, if they are selfish and undisciplined sexually, who's to say they won't repeat the same or similar patterns in marriage. You know how many men have brought STDs, HIV/AIDS, and "unwedded children" to an already established marriage that never had those things to begin with?! The more I observe men the more I feel like I should just not even consider marriage with one. They simply cannot be trusted in any capacity with that kind of mentality they have. I suppose I would rather give up the dream of having a large family and volunteer with services involving kids. I think I'm going to choose to die a single woman, because the risk involved in being with a man seems to outway the benefits of a family.
I don't care about any body account. I think the most important thing is the persons heart and mind. We as humans are more than the number of people we have slept or not slept with. If you find a genuine connection, then nothing else matters.
Imagine being in your teen years and the hippy free love is the in thing & getting swept into drug's free love & not counting. I'm so glad and thankful for a forgiving Heavenly father, it's not easy as you get older and wiser and become a true believer, the Evil Man always trying to plant seeds of doubt & you have to rebuke him and tell him to get behind me. My sins are forgiven and the Gates of Heaven are open to all that repent and move forward living the life that Jesus wants us to live. Sin is sin. Romans 3:23. All have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God 🙏🏽 💜🙏🏽
I’m a virgin woman, if I find a good man that loved me and wanted to marry me and I him, and he had a history of women or a body count; yes. I can get past history, I want a good man and a man that would be a great father. Virgin or not, it’s the soul that speaks volumes to me.
People living without Christ live according to the pleasures of the world. God sent Jesus to save us and Not to condemn us. I believe if a man is not a virgin and becomes born again should not judge a woman who is born again if she is no longer a virgin. We should learn the example of how Jesus set for us by His Relationship with Mary Magdalene. Christ loves us and we should follow in His footsteps regardless if we are single or divorced. That's just my opinion especially regarding body count. We should Love just like Christ loved us without boundaries and exceptions because all of us have fallen short of the Glory of God.
I'm mean Hosea was a beautiful picture of God's love for all of us, so for some who are strong enough in the Lord and what be apart of a womans redemption in Christ to those men they are heroes for wanting to live and forgive like Jesus.
Stay true to that no matter what ANYONE tells you. Only let God change your mind on that. Too many"Christians" try to make others sweep that under the rug as if it doesn't matter.
Most that profess to be Christian Men do not even want to be abstinent until marriage, they will wife the one in the chuch that is willing to give it up. Been in the Faith for 20 years seen it over and over. They will not even date the women serious about waiting. I didn't say all of them were saved men, but professing tro be saved....most men in the church are like that from my observation
At 9:13 in the video that guy, sorry don’t know who he is, asked ruslan If the stats were based on off a virgin man and virgin woman or is it just based off of at least one them being a virgin. Ruslan just sidestep the question but it does make a difference in how differently men and women view sex. From what I Found to review with regards to the stats, the are based on Virgin women not so much men. At 8:06 ruslan also said by th way, the idea of the more partners you have the more likely you are to get divorced is not entirely correct either, but it could have a negarptive effect on the marriage. Caveat - It was noted that religion seemed to explain why women who marry as virgins have lower divorce rates and that in todays America, virgin marriage appears to be solely the domain of the religious. It also added that religious people are also less likely to divorce. Not a guarantee but still praying our Christian convictions would outweigh our worldly desires. This seems to tell me that remaining a virgin due to religious beliefs is more important to women than men. Let’s get it together men! I have often said it is both a curse and a blessing to be a man at times when it comes to sexual urges thoughts and actions. Ruslan also talked and talks about sexual experiance as if you earn some kind of degree with the more sex you have, this is not a course you take like in school or webinars at work. Please explain how you decide how someone is supposed to have “Mastered” sex….hmmmm! More to come…revd
If the guy was still involved in doing that kind of lifestyle, i would say no. If the guy truly wanted to follow Jesus and put that life behind him, I might consider him because that is not who he is anymore. That was the old life.
If I can see that she’s truly living her life for Christ then I don’t care what her past is. 3-5 body count sure. Although I think I would definitely have a hard time with like 25 or something lol I’m 26 yo Virgin
Why are we giving this guy a platform who chose not to obey God( whether he was a Christian or not when he had premarital s3x)and then because of his insecurities and shame is putting down Christians who are trying to live a pure life? I have zero body count and I'm in the entertainment business. Christians who think they have it bad waiting until marriage, try being in the entertainment business ,a Christian and constantly turning away opportunities for s3x. Plus, it is very difficult to find Christians to date when you're in that business and there is a shortage of christian single men at church.
I’m a bit confused. As a male with a “high count” (but I am changing my ways), I’m not worthy or valued enough to be loved in a marriage? I certainly hope, if I do marry, the person will look at me as I am in the present, and not my past. Likewise, I believe the same for a woman with a high count.
You are worthy, get soul ties broken and keep walking in the light if Christ. Don't give into the enemy's or even other Christians attempt to label or shame you.
Again understand it's what you expected but a man and woman have their own expectation, if a woman wants a man with high income, tall and masculine mN.Then man can also look for beauty and virginity.. Now i really want to see how society functions with all this sexual immorality..
I disagree even if you have had sex. Once you become a Christian & God is now *Lord of your sexuality,* you can remain celibate until if & when He provides you a spouse. He has the power to keep you if *you* want to be kept! Stop this limitation on God! 🇨🇦
When people date they don’t normally ask how many people have you slept with in your entire life. But if you pick up someone who frequents a bar, goes to a night club, or lives a certain type of life where one-night stands may be the norm it would be questionable to most.
Bless God Podcast LIVE Premiere Event: bit.ly/3SMNJ0M
I was a Virgin. my wife was a Virgin. best decision of my life.
God bless your marriage.
Please tell me just your first names. I want to pray for you both 🙏❤️. Because what you got is so precious and so wonderful, this should be the norm in the church like it used to be. I just turned 28, God's calling into pastor hood and I've miraculously stayed pure. I've made that decision because I know that it will be the best healthiest thing for my future marriage. Please pray for me Jack G.
Yes it should go both ways , not for the woman only 😢
@@njrom2975of course
Husband W
I feel like their positions are rooted in carnal thinking 😂. Like they just said “we don’t value purity” in everything they said in that podcast. As a virgin I never had anything against a man with a history as long as he’s walking in purity for longer than a couple years. (Because I personally feel like you need that time of just you and God to truly value your relationship with Him) but this attitude makes me feel sour and tells me I’m better off with another virgin if my valuing Jesus has been seen as a “burden” that a man doesn’t want to carry. You’re telling me that your desire for marriage is rooted in your own pleasure, when marriage is the place beyond serving yourself but serving your spouse and serving your children. The mentality is childish and tells me the marriage wouldn’t go well tbh.
Thanks for speaking up. I think you’re right. As a woman on the other end of the spectrum, with a much higher “body count” than what they just approved of as appropriate mate material, I thank God I married a man who cared more about my current relationship with Christ rather than my past behaviors as a lost young woman seeking validation in the free for all of the 90’s I grew up in. How dare these guys try to give women advice on how to attract the right man. Be quiet. Let the godly women follow Christ and not your advice and they will find the right man organically through the Holy Spirit.
You're right!
Well as a man I agree
@@lissy2000us Was your man a virgin?
So accurate!! Everything you said is what I thought. I find it quite nasty for Christian men to be saying this on their Christian platform.
I married a virgin and the only responsibility I felt was making sure she was comfortable with being sexual. I had been with many women, nothing crazy, yet chose to wait almost two years and for marriage to be intimate with her. It's been great the whole time.
You sound like my old boss and his wife. Although BOTH were not virgins upon marriage they held off until their Wedding Day.
Still married- what 40 years later.
That’s an important thing. Making sure she’s comfortable. Vice verse, I’m sure there’s a man out the who’s been active and married a virgin that expected her to do what other women have done! Good on you.
Ur perfection. I'm a virgin and haven't found a man who would do what u did for her. God bless u
@@PB_324 Both no virgins xD what's the point of waiting when other guys get it without waiting.
That’s a beautiful perspective! I’m sure that made her feel very loved and respected. I’m assuming that’s your honey in the picture - she looks adorable! May God bless your marriage 🙌🏽
It's disgusting that men, especially Christian men, think it's okay to not be virgins but criticize women for not being virgins and wanting virgins.
I always say this. They are the one's that "deflower" the women then turn around and castigate them.
@@ClearandHealthyBoundaries whoremongers are messing it up for the dudes who are actually living right. Marrying an (adult) virgin woman should be a REWARD from God for your OBEDIENCE. Especially if she's hot and she's your age. I don't have to worry about her creeping behind my back. I don't want distractions. I can focus on working hard and provide an honorable life for the both of us.
yes it is it makes no sense they always want to bend the rules for themselves
What I don’t understand is the obsession with virginity in relation to purity. You can be the most virgin virgin in the whole world, and not be saved, and still go to the same place as the rest of the u saved sinners on earth. I repeat: just because you’re a virgin does not mean that you are pure!!!! Please people stop focusing on virginity and focus on the idea of keeping your body a place where the Holy Spirit can live. The Holy Spirit can live in a former porn star. The Holy Spirit can live in a former prostitute. The Holy Spirit can live in sinners, that was the whole point of Jesus Christ: it’s because we are not pure that we need Christ to purify us. Saving yourself for marriage does not automatically equate to purity! Chastity should affect the heart, mind, and soul, not just certain body parts.
@@zoiejohnson5677 prevention is better than finding a cure. think about that
You can be virgin, saved too, but be addicted to porn and mastrubation. That was me and I'm sure it would still cause problems. So just being a "virgin" techniquilly isn't really a clear state anymore. Maybe good self control? idk
Very true
Yes, I’d hope you wouldn’t be watching porn, mastrubating and delighting in being a virgin. I’m a nearly 40 year old virgin and practice self discipline in all areas as the Word teaches
How can you be saved and addicted to sin?!
@@zainabibraheem because we all fall short of the Glory of God
@@zainabibraheem We all make mistakes and fall even while following Christ that’s why we have Gods grace. Doesn’t make it right or something to continue but addiction can be hard to break. Leaning on Gods strength not ours, trusting God will see us through. Jesus came here for broken people to heal those who are hurting. You can be saved and struggle to do better. Everyday is a new day and a new chance to have self control. Repentance is a huge part to the process aswell
If we could be perfect we wouldn’t have needed Jesus
I was a virgin until I was 25 years old and lost it on my wedding night and my husband was a virgin as well. I preferred to have someone that was saving themselves. I always just worked part time so that I am able to be with my kids.
I'm confused on what you working part time has to do with it? Seemed kinda random haha
Before I committed my life to Christ is had probably 10-15 sexual partners. My husband is a virgin and knew about my promiscuous past before we got engaged. I felt so much shame about it but he always reminded me of the grace God has for me.
We all have sin.The End
Same for me. I was not a virgin and had slept with at least ten men. But my husband who was also a pastor at the time and was 28 was a virgin. We have never had any issues in the bedroom. I told him up front day one that I was t a virgin and he said well God has forgiven you so it’s not an issue. I have never had any guilt about not being a Virgin because I just feel I did those things before I met my husband and before I knew Christ and now I’m forgiven . We have now been married 25 years!
It's usually the other way around. Don't feel ashamed because you've been redeemed and it's in your past.
Humans are flawed and struggle with the capacity for sin and temptation regardless of status, age, size, male or female and there are those who don't like to be reminded of it, but that does not mean you have to stay that way because Jesus Christ had opened the gates of salvation even if it costed him his life for you and everyone else.
@@seijin4426 beautiful !
I'm a 37yo virgin waiting for marriage. I'm happy I've survived lol this long in a culture that pushes s3x all the time. I've always tried to follow the Bible and definitely believe in soul ties.
I've always hoped to marry another virgin so we can share 1st together but at my age(if his is close) that might not happen. Thats if he's wavered from his Christian path or became a believer later in life. I've met some men that are virgins in their 30s but it seems rare. Whatever God has for me, I'll take. I'm sure its not a man that would think of me as an unwanted responsibility.
His faithful
I have two Christian Brothers who are 45 & one Christian Brother who is 35 years old (this year) who are all virgins. That virginity is expected goes without saying in my Apostolic, Pentecostal church community. 🇨🇦
I'm like u 35 year old virgin on same path
@@JerubbaalgodSlayer send me their numbers. If they are really virgin
but start looking bro you 37 already, seek a girl out and ask God to close doors if it isn't the right one. How will God get you a gal if you don't get out of the house? you gotta put your part in.
I love conversations like these!!! before being saved, my body count was in the teens... now after Christ found me, I am so excited that I am celibate! and I'll be celibate until I die if that's what God calls for my life. Christ is King! I pray everyone that watches this video finds it with an open heart and choices celibacy until after marriage and you all have Christ centered peaceful marriages. God bless "bless God" studios!!!!
I'm also celibate of many years
@@robynmannon7022 God bless you!!
Thank you
I couldn’t accept that but god forgives some humans don’t when it comes to marriage
I would encourage Christian men and women to pray specifically for their future spouse (if you want to be married). I think it's possible to encounter men / women that align with following Christ and his word to a T. If you are someone that believes in and values purity / celibacy date someone that holds that same value. Ruslan is completely correct in saying that not every person in church is following biblical sexual ethics. I've seen it many times over. Pray, pray, pray 🙏🏿
True
This conversation was so helpful and edifying for me, thank you guys! As a Christian woman who is single, a virgin, and in my early 20's, it's such a good reminder to me to value and preserve my purity, not only in action, but in spirit/mind. And also to keep pursuing the Lord and letting Him renew my thoughts everyday and becoming the woman God wants me to be to also attract a godly man. I love these types of conversations! It's so sad to think that purity is not as high of a priority to some Christians today (of course that may have a lot to do with the damage caused by "purity culture".)
The world's standards have slowly creeped into the church, especially among Gen Z. Their standard regarding dating, marriage and purity leans more towards the world than what the Church encourages. If this is becoming a popular opinion/preference then the Church has some serious work to bring truth.
Lastly, it's the double standard of not wanting a virgin, but you draw the line at women who have had a past in s**work for me.. While I appreciate that people are being honest, this is not a biblical reflection of intimacy. It just seems more like people don't want the admin of being with a virgin... You want to have an immediate, mind blowing intimate life from day 1...yet it's a journey... In short, this screams more about pleasing flesh than finding a suitable life partner.
Thank you Ruslan being honest open about this, as I was so discouraged after this live.. But I guess discussing these issues will shed more light. Can't wait to see your collab with Kojo.
It's not a double standard. The standard is quite simple. He wants someone that's evenly yoked.... And that's fine. He's probably doing a virgin a favor by turning them away. Sexual history brings with it a lot of baggage .... And virgins know this
😢 all facts. I was so saddened by that live as well.
people are more corrupt than ever, good is bad and bad is good
Yeah, it’s weird expectations that aren’t biblical
Yes I agree. I didn’t see the live bit even hearing those clips was disappointing. People aren’t willing to see past the possible challenges that might come with marrying a virgin, even to be with someone who has been strong enough and close enough to the lord to remain a virgin? That’s not easy to do and that’s a person who likely really has faith in the Lord.
I use wish we talked more openly in the church like this. I used to as a youth pastor but I’ve always said the church should be a place where we discuss things like dating and sex so it is safe. So many young people go off the cliff of sexuality because they don’t have a safe space to discuss dating and the world pitches what seems like a better idea of it which only breaks you down
At my church we preach true love Waits. In the teaching we cover a portion regarding God's plan for the family. It includes sex. And it's beautiful, fun, and pleasurable. It's just meant to occur under the covenant of marriage.
I am a virgin in her 30’s, very hard meeting a guys that don’t want a sexual relationship.where can I meet someone that share my biblical stands on relationships 😢?
28 and wondering the same thing 🤔
I think not looking for the right person but praying for God to choose someone for you.
They're hard to find. Yes u agree however I'm not a virgin
Don't look, give it to God and then leave it alone. From experience, when you look you'll hardly ever find it or you'll find what you're NOT looking for and you don't want that unnecessary drama in your life. Give it to God. Wait on Him, he'll choose the best. I understand the struggle, God bless you sis
Joshua Eze. Look into his stuff. Best on UA-cam.
Just seen this video and I was a virgin when I met my wife 10 yrs ago. Kept myself celibate and was constantly asked by both men and women why I kept holding onto my V-card. Literally was like I'm honoring God's way until I'm led to find my wife and I need to learn to take care of myself before I can take care of someone else. I got much respect for it and ppl I spoke with wish they could turn the hands of time back and not lost their V-card until they got married.
Yea their perspective does suck because it’s almost like women who are virgins and who have been pure are being seen as less than or unwanted. The world already looks down on virgins and now some Christian men are too. Smh
it's not just Christian men though. In my experience it was male and female older church members that started to look at people funny and whisper when people reached a certain age and were still virgins. (even though one of the reasons you're were still a virgin is because the church scared you to death about going to hell if you didn't save yourself for marriage.)
Some Christians really were like "oh, you too old to be a virgin you must be lesbian or gay." even though they preached abstinence before marriage, being a lesbian was a lot worse than fornicating. So, more grace was extended to those who were having premarital sex because that behavior at least confirmed for the church that the person wasn't gay or lesbian.
p.s. Sexually active men in the churches I've attended, around 25-30 y.o. were not avoiding virgins 😄. they were doing their part to de-virginize whosoever was in need 😂
@@davispatricks5453 Unfortunately you're right. Most people who claim Christianity aren't really Christians. My own grandma falls into this category. She thinks I should have been with someone by now. 27 virgin.
I honestly don't see an issue with a non virgin Christian to not want a virgin... Sex is very serious and they would probably understandably want someone that has the same sexual history as them so there is understanding going into intimacy.... A virgin wants a virgin usually as well. I actually find it much stranger that a man with multiple body counts would specifically want a virgin.... Because that automatically gives him psychological advantage to manipulate someone with no sexual experience.
@Mandy Gee Everything you said is incorrect. Nothing you said edifies others. None of what you said is founded in any basis of truth found outside one's own arrogance or short term perspective of a single culture in 2022.
In order to leave comments like that one has to have an extremely low sense of awareness of the world around them, and have little interest in building anything worthwhile in the lives of people around them.
@Mandy Gee People obsess with being a virgin because it is sin in God's eyes to have sex outside of marriage. Sex is only allowed by God within the confines of marriage between a man and a woman. Someone waiting for marriage would be (or should be) a virgin until then. If a person could not discipline themselves and have sex before marriage, God forgives, but it is not God's best for their life.
@Mandy Gee Social construct? God's design is that sex is contained within a marriage. The idea of "experience" is a social construct. A husband and wife can and should learn together with each other. By God's standard, a nonvirgin marrying would be a widow or widower. It's not about obsessing about virginity pe se, it's about valuing marriage and sex God's way.
@@davidharman7245 true
People need to remember that everything is is spiritual. If you have intercourse with someone you are soul attachment with that person. That's why when you get married become "one". So if someone is having many sex partners that person is getting attached with all those souls. But many aren't ready to know the truth.
Many don't want the truth.
Agreed but you can break demonic soul ties off. The person is born again through Christ if they're a true follower of Jesus. I'm a virgin and it is hard to get with a non virgin though nonetheless
@@vivaeuropa yes as a born again Christian we are, but is still a warfare...a demon won't stay away if is not properly taken out. Only through fasting and praying and is stipulated by Yeshua. (Matthew 17:21) remember when Christ had to rebuke Peter and call him Satan (and he was still a follower and believer) and ot was because he let his guard down for a second. Sexual immorality spirit is one of the really bad spirit.
I am going to be 30 in 6 months and I’m still a virgin. For me it’s never been about “saving myself” for my future husband but it been more about honoring God with every aspect of my life. So when. I hear things like this it really doesn’t bother me, cos it’s never really been about pleasing man but pleasing God. This generation will actually try to make you feel bad for taking this path but in all honesty i really can’t be moved . P.S: I do understand virginity does not equal purity, cos you can still be a virgin but be very inpure in your heart and mind, and also have an addiction to masturbation and porn. That being said, whether you’re a virgin or a newly celibate Christian the ultimate goal should be living a live that pleases God and not really about getting a spouse.
No hymen No diamond
I'm a Christian woman saving myself for marriage and to be honest I want a Christian man also saving himself for marriage. It's just a desire of my heart that I've always had. I don't want him to having shared himself with someone else as that would be very hurtful to me. In this day and age it's so hard to find but I'm trusting God to grant me the desires of my heart.
Hi 😃
Not really that hard considering that most men now are virgins.
@Vincent-yp1g What a strange statement. No STAT backs it up. The average person is NOT a virgin. Men and Women.
Trash mentalities. The words coming out of this man's mouth. So you learned the right thing the wrong way, and now that you're "older and wiser", you intentionally avoid woman who desire the right thing the right way? THIS DUDE is a christian?
This grieves me man.
Emotional connection? Bro. What else would you expect to happen between a husband and wife??? Don't want the responsibility? This is foolishness. This burns me up inside man....😠
Maybe I missed something in the vid, but I agree with you. He may be a Christian, but he needs more enlightenment in this area.
that's why it's not always wise to do hot take commentary on topics. sometimes you need to take a topic marinate on it, pray on it, and seek guidance from the scriptures. then make a video.
@@davispatricks5453 for real.
i agree. anyobdy who says they DONT want a virgin? what?! that is so disgusting and corrupt imo and not christian either
I took it that he didn’t want the responsibility of being with a virgin because he…didn’t trust himself with her heart. Maybe he was afraid that he’d ruin her.
As a Christian from London 🇬🇧, who is a viewer of you and Kojo, loved this conversation and looking forward to watching your video together🙌
Really appreciated your perspective on this topic🙏
Why does it seem like the people who have had lots of partners are married, but the people who don’t have a high body count(
That's a great point.
Getting married is easy nowadays but staying married till death do you part is not common. Sex is too overrated. I'm a virgin and am 29. I don't regret my decision. Whether you choose God or Satan you will pay a price but I will rather pay a price with God in my boat than Satan in my boat. shalom.🥰
Low standards
The phrase hoes is winning is accurate in the dating streets
@Katshell girl I feel the same way! If I was out in these streets, throwing it back I would definitely have a husband by now! 😂😂😂 I’d rather wait on God’s best!💯
The truth of the matter is what we have seen time and time again for 2000 years+ is that calling yourself "Christian" means NOTHING to God and often to the world too. It is entirely carnally minded to desire a non virgin over a virgin unless you have a thing for widows or those who previously divorced sexually immoral spouses. Even unbelievers often have enough awareness to prefer virgin females at least as pair bonding is something believers should be aiming for.
I’m a virgin (in my 30s), and I don’t care if my spouse is or isn’t. As Ruslan’s wife said, it could be a plus to be with someone with experience. Honestly, I’m not concerned about that. But if she isn’t one, she shouldn’t try to convince me to have sex.. this has happened to me, so in a sense to prevent that, dating a woman who is also a virgin is a plus.
To me if you’re a virgin man and you don’t care weather or not you’re partner is a virgin make sure you guys are just on the same page and make sure she isn’t the kind of woman who would rush you to have sex and takes the time with you until you feel ready.
Experience is gained between two noobs. Screw acquiring "experience" outside of marriage.
I care more about whether they have an STD/ HIV-AIDS, Hep C, than virginity. No one ever speaks about this and I think it's more important. You can break/pray away spiritual bonds from fornication. I haven't seen any STDs get removed through prayer....
I want to find a woman who is a virgin to be my wife, I ain't ashamed to hold that standard.
I want a woman who's been able to live out self-control.
Praying that God hears our prayers brother. Look up Joshua Eze on getting prepared for marriage. It's a HUGE deal that most take lightly.
I hope you are a virtuous and man of high standards when it comes to your actions as well.
I want a man with that same standard toon
@@leaellas8400 matters more for women
@@MonkeyDLuffy-py9un matters for both if you are a Christian
I was a virgin male and preferred a virgin as well but God pointed out my wife and she wasn't a virgin. I had a choice to make follow the spirit or keep my preferences. I chose God and married a girl that had a sexual past 5 yr into this relationship and I wouldn't pick anyone else.
I'm a virgin and marrying someone who is a virgin has never been a requirement for me. If he is, that's fine, but I really do believe in the new birth, being born again, renewing the mind. Not saying it won't take work, and time but I believe in the power of God. If God can raise up the spiritually dead and the physically dead, he can heal someone with a sexual past.
I'm a 30 year old virgin & to answer the question, I would marry someone who's had the average body count. I think people tend to equate virginity with purity but it's not always the case. There's virgins who are addicted to porn, masturbation etc. so I can't dismiss or judge someone for not keeping their purity, when I haven't always kept mine either.
Kojo (Littleblackbook91) is amazing . Great interviews, thought provoking discussions. Can’t wait for the collab 😊
I love Kojo! Been tuning into his channel since I came across it like 3 years ago. He does a lot of deep dive discussions on relationships and the current social climate. It would be dope for you two to collab!
I mean, I think a Christian not wanting to marry a virgin is kinda weird. Being a virgin doesn’t automatically mean you are uneducated on sex. There are books you can and should read before getting married. I’m not understanding what is the responsibility he’s referring to? He will feel guilty? Hopefully he has repented and is working on avoiding lust right now in his single time. Whether you’re a virgin or not, intimacy in marriage will be a journey you will need to work on and communicate about with your spouse at some point.
This was good advice! Especially toward the end when you talked about the priest/protector of your home and about wanting someone to stay home with the kids. I'm a grandma, so it is easy for me to look back and see how correct you are in this advice and I'm so glad that my daughter is afforded the ability to stay home with the kids. In fact, her husband has an at home job in sales, so he is somewhat available as well. Also, I go over to her house 3 days per week to help her with homeschooling; and I'm so happy she has made that choice and is seeing the value in it.
I was a virgin when I met my wife in college freshman year at 19. She was 18. I gave on thinking I would find a woman that wasn't a virgin 😂 so when I met her, and I actually really liked her, it was a wrap. We married 5 years later.
That being said, I TOTALLY understand a non virgin Christian not wanting a virgin. My wife and I learned about physical intamacy together. We had almost identical pasts when it came to intamacy and so we've never felt out of wack with each other. All we've ever felt was burning passion even 5 years into our marriage. I can't even imagine how much more difficult it would be if one of us had a sexual history 😑
So I think it's fair, as unfair as it sounds, for especially a Christian man to not want to bring that complexity into the life of a virgin woman's life. Automatically the man will feel like they will need to educate their woman on how to have sex as if they're a child. And even though that might not be true in reality, the risk of that reality is still there. I empathize with the guy's concern for being in an unevenly yoked relationship like that.
I think he could phrase it better. I think the underlying concern for him is that he will naturally compare her to his past experiences and will be to scared to be vulnerable in that way because she won't understand.... And THATS TOTALLY FAIR. On the other hand, a woman who's had a past will likely share that same pattern and will be much easier to open up to.
@Mandy Gee You could also say it's unfair for a virgin to reject a someone with a past as well. But it's still perfectly reasonable. Not every human is the same and we should have the liberty, at the very least as Christians, to choose someone based on some factors that we know about ourselves. I'm not saying that EVERYONE non virgin should reject virgins. I'm saying it's fair for Christians to assess their themselves on what they think will be appropriate for them to enter into a lifelong partnership with. If we think it's fair for a virgin to reject non virgins, then the opposite should be true. Because there are non virgins that are redeemed, but a virgin still has every right to reject them still.
@Katshell Yes all of that is possible. But a single person is always well within their right to be picky about the possibilities.... It's always better to not be married then to get into an unhealthy relationship that you could have avoided
I love LLB.. Glad you will be collaborating
I waited till I got married and I was 33 when I got married. It is possible to wait and do it God's way.
The Holy Spirit make us new 2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” there is no problem... your past is as good as dead in Christ...im waiting for marriage and its really not a train smash because our journey to salvation is not the same.
Laterras T. Whitfield the gentleman speaking with Kojo in this podcast has an awesome testimony and his podcast have a redemptive purpose. He does not portray himself to be a Bible scholar nor attempt to judge one’s relationship with father based on how many deep biblical truths they know. He transparent, forthright and humble.
I don't care if my wife is a virgin or not. I care if she truly loves Christ, expressed in her actions and attitudes towards others, particularly the poor, weak and outcasts.
I would add to this; girls who I've had one night stands with or who had multiple partners were not as sensitive in ways that the less promiscuous girls were, and that was a turn-off.
Regarding Christian women who sleep about, it mostly happens in larger churches where there is a lack of deep, CONVICTing preaching, little deep discipleship, and they won't have any spiritual depth.
I was promiscuous before Christ and have enough experience to know that you learn and adapt to your sexual partner's preferences. Most sexual activity can be taught. A lot comes down to understanding how the human anatomy works, and training the body to be mobile, strong, durable and agile. It's really as simple as that.
P.S. I would really recommend Christian men, secondary to their spiritual foundations being in place, ought to train how to be problem solvers, learn self-defense and be able to teach it to their future family and learn practical home skills like plumbing, basic electrical work, plastering etc. Stewardship is nit just how well you run your financial resources but also maximising the time you have to maximally provide for your family, including being able to teach your family how to survive with practical skills, should your life end the next day. Just my opinion.
I know you wrote this 2 months ago but this was a wonderful read. Thank you for sharing!
@@sarabee7710 if it's blessed you then praise God!☝🏾🙌🏾
This guy is trippin. Men dont want to be with a virgin? I would love to have been with a virgin. It is Gods idea that we are virgins before marriage. To say that you dont want to be with a virgin would be to reject Gods idea or Gods blueprint for sexual standard of purity. You may have failed to meet that standard but that doesnt mean you should reject his standard. I think your focusing too much on your past brokenness instead of Gods redemption.
You forgot that men watch porn and that runs their ability to pair bond.
Thank you for this convo, Ruslan and cohost! The Body of Christ needs to have more honest, important convos like these to really get to the heart of God-fearing people and their very real earthly experiences.
Do women get degrees and earn money in order to attract a man? I think I understand the point Ruslan is making when he says "he doesn't care about how many degrees you have...make yourself the type of person who will attract the man you want..." but whenever folks say that sort of thing it seems to be missing something to me. I didn't get any of my degrees in the hopes that they'd make me more attractive, I got them because I wanted to learn more about the subject I was studying. I didn't start a business to be more attractive but because I was passionate about something. On the flip side, I hope men aren't developing traits for the sole purpose of being more attractive to women. It could be my own misunderstanding but those sorts of arguments seem to reduce a person to their attractiveness to the opposite sex. We're all more than that, right?
The reason He said that is because that is the male psychology. That is what a man will do if he wanted a wife. Women and men view the world differently.
I'm a virgin and wouldn't mind marrying someone with a low body count tho I might want them to get tested just to be safe
😮
@@RuslanKD 😂
Really? Lol
@@troykaz9037 They can have hiv or aids so why would that be crazy to want them to be checked.
@vivaeuropa Not crazy at all. I just posted a comment on the same thing. I care more about whether the person has STDs than being a virgin or not. Who wants to catch what the scriptures calls an "inflammation" down there?
I’m glad you guys are having this conversation. Purity is not discussed in the church enough.As a woman who did not wait until marriage I am thankful that God set me aside to purify me of those fleshy desires. At the time I didn’t realize the damage it was doing to me. When I finally wanted to be a wife, those things really held me back in bondage. God is so good.. he continues to redeem us.
Yeah same. Im not sure why both genders aren’t given the purity talk; even if that means to charge men to be capable men and providers.
We talk too much on the metaphysical end less on the physical end of our relationships.
There’s some Christian’s that for some reason want a Christian women or husband that has “experience “ rather than staying pure ….
That's wrong in and of itself
They’ve bought into society’s narrative about sexuality. I think it might be an overreaction to the purity culture era.
I believe that the majority of people who identify as Christian think this way. This is just from my anecdotal experience though. For the one's who are generally considered attractive at least...
@@fellow7224 If they think that way then I highly doubt that they are true Christians.
@@missmytime Then we'll have to throw the majority of Christians out of the conversation, wouldn't we? Even the people in this video are basically saying that they prefer someone with experience rather than one who chose to be pure, since people who have experience don't require nearly as much accountability due to their lesser expectations.
I think it's just a phase the majority of Christians fail at, but once they find a spouse, it becomes a sin issue they no longer have to deal with.
I don’t like that some married parents give their kids to daycare. The wife should stop working and care for the kids.
This is stupid imo
You’re going to be married, it’s already a big responsibility. So if she’s a virgin or not, why does it matter?
Yep. This one confused me.
I implore you to look up focus on the family premarital sex and higher risk of divorce. That's why it matters.
I'm a virgin in my 20's and I want to get married. However, I don't know how to get there.
Did you finish the video?
@@RuslanKD yes I still have a lot to learn tho
@@RuslanKD are there any resources for females who want to get married? Any premarriage counselors that you know?
@@Eiramilah I have a mastermyhabits.com with my christian therapist about becoming the type of person you want to be. But that’s less geared towards women. I would say ask and listen to what successful christian men desire in women. And work on those areas. I mentioned it at the end of the video. Then extend your network.
Joshua Eze. Dude is legit.
I married my ex-wife when I was 20 and she was 22. I had one previous partner and my ex had 12. I found out her number after marriage and honestly it made me very insecure and looking back it was the downfall of my marriage. There was a multitude of reasons for us eventually parting ways but I believe that was the catalyst that promoted the breakdown of my marriage.
Sorry to hear that. Yeah, she should've definitely been honest about that before marriage. I myself would not have wanted to marry her if I were you and knew about that beforehand. I hate that that's the case with so many women these days and that they're often not honest about it.
That's why I want to marry a virgin girl, statistics show that the more body's a woman has the harder it will be for her to pair bond
@@mr_lander31 same applies for guys. The more partners they have the less unsatisfied they will be. Nobody is immune to promiscuity...
@@p.g.2035 Most guys nowadays are virgins, I myself am waiting till marriage cause I'm following God's law.
Transparency is important.
Unfortunately I’m not a virgin and I know I could never wish for something like that from a woman especially because that’s not something I could give for her.
I wish i would have remained a virgin til i got married, and wish my wife would have also been a virgin as well.
Thank YOU for addressing the Redemption part. Christ died for all sins including promiscuity. He changes peoples hearts. I know He changed mine. But if I had a choice -being hindsight is 20/ 20 I would most certainly change some of my past. I'm thrilled you are encouraging virginity in a common sense healthy way.
On another note- Some of the most perverted souls on the Planet are Ultra Religious( Josh Duggar, Bill Gothard, etc etc etc) and look pure on the outside. I think those folks needs to be addressed as well
Was barely a virgin when I got married. Was so thankful that God kept me holding on by a thread to that. Because it would’ve been much more hurtful to my wife if I had already lost that coming in.
What did you do before you were married?
Imagine being discriminated against because you did what was right, by the same people who are supposed to value what is right...I don't understand this....A woman who has kept herself has proven herself in so many ways. She has displayed Faithfulness, self-control, obedience...is that not what any Christian man would want in a partner?
@@sia6929 oh I'm definitely with you on that. By no means is a virgin superior, and she definitely doesn't deserve more love either.... But neither is she inferior...keeping your virginity is precious in God's sight, women who have done it deserve to be applauded, not despised for it. It's spiritually backward to despise the people who actually did what was right and kept themselves. I think in the Christian world people are inclined to put virgins down in order to feel good about themselves because they know they should have waited and they didn't.
@@sia6929 let me preface this by saying that any woman or man who comes to Christ, virgin or not and is keeping themselves should be celebrated. So it doesn't matter if you are a virgin or not, as long as you are obeying now.
Having said that
If someone refuses you because you are a virgin then they have in a sense despised you for it...or actually despised isn't a good word. They have considered it as a negative against you. This is perplexing. If you are Christian, then by Christian standards, the mentality expressed by LBB in the video is illogical, since as Christians we are to value that which is good and keeping yourself is a very good thing. Or do you want to dispute that? So a woman or man for that matter, should not be discounted for being a virgin. It's a backward way of thinking.
Somebody in this comments section correctly pointed out that carnal minded people think like this, since they are only really worried about their pleasure when they say it. You can scroll down and see poik247's comment if you have not seen it already. I'm 100 per cent with her on that.
I think you both have good points here. There are plenty of virgins with rotten hearts, and plenty of women who used to be promiscuous whose hearts have been made pure.
I was in my twenties when I lost my virginity and had a rotten heart, that was brought up religious outwardly but inwardly had not been converted. Equally, there are some that have been made new in the heart and have remained pure in their body. So, to conclude, it's more an issue of the heart for me.
I don’t think most experienced Christian men would reject a Christian virgin
Oh wow…didn’t know you knew of LBB… I’m subscribed to you both even though I disagree with you both at times 😀 But appreciate most of what you’re saying here👍🏾 The only thing is disagree with is the overgeneralization. Not all successful Christian men want a stay-at-home wife…this is simply untrue statistically and even from a common sense perspective. I know a lot of them. Successful men are not a monolith. I’m in a male dominated field with men in a line of work where we earn multiple six figures on average, and many of these men love that their wives are career women. Funny because I just got a notification from one of my many acquaintances as we speak. a pastor that I went on a missions trip with, his wife of decades is a successful career woman AND a mother to his (4 or 5?) kids, and he loves to talk about how her success was part of what attracted him to her. Maybe men in your space could care less about a woman’s degrees and financial success (and no offense, but in hip hop culture that’s not a surprising phenomenon). but in fields like mine they dote on their wives’ accomplishments like trophies. I’ve noticed you seem committed to your perspective for some reason 🤷🏾♀️but it’s simply not accurate overall.
Never said all. Said most.
@@RuslanKD I wouldn’t even say most. I think you’re projecting what people want in YOUR circles. It certainly doesn’t apply to mine.
@@missmytime you think most men making 6 figures + want their children raised by daycare? Or you think they want to stop their career to be stay at home dads?
Yes most men aren’t against a women working. But when there’s little children involved, and the man has the option of a career women boss babe or someone that’s willing to put their career on hold for little children, what do you think they’ll chose?
@@BlessGodStudios What I do know is that almost all the men I know that make 6- (or 7-figures) have career wives. Almost all of them. I work with them, I’m related to them, plus I’ve dated 6-7 figure guys that say it’s what they’re attracted to. They want partners that understand what it’s like to be at the top. They tend to prefer egalitarian relationships in my experience. In my field, I’ve noticed that a lot of the highest execs tend to be allies of women, and they’re successful enough to see how hard it is for corporate women to break the glass ceiling in the male-dominated fields, so they respect women that manage to do it (and even love them for it). Plus, y’all are forgetting that a lot of the high-paying careers offer remote work opportunities now, which is great for women with little kids. I, for one, make multiple 6 figures working 100% from home. Women are great multi-taskers. It’s commonplace to have women on zoom calls with baby on their lap. (Or men - nothing emasculating about that.) Other fields like healthcare, law etc offer great flexibility, and professionals in these fields tend to marry others from the same field. I’d respect this conversation more if Ruslan caveated his position by saying that HE and HIS friends would prefer stay-at-home moms, but obviously most men are not Ruslan.
6 figures shouldn't be your purpose, can't serve both God and money!
Its best for all ( yes men too) to be pure of course on their Wedding Day.
Purity is good and God Honoring although Purity Culture is pretty toxic.
Promoting purity, how is it toxic, 🤔unless you meant something else totally different
@@SFP0181
IE the Duggars, Quiverful, Fundie Mormons
Researcher these
They all place blame on women
NEVER on men.
Not to mention societal acceptance of men being promiscuous whilst expecting women to be pure is simply disgusting and NOT acceptable
I truly believe the hypocrisy and double standards of men caused feminism.
It's nice to talk about, but most people who say this stuff are not about that life. It's easy to talk about remaining celibate from inception when you don't have to live that way, or never had to, assuming that is the case on your end.
I believe most Christians are unqualified to talk about purity because they lack the experiential empathy to relate to those who actually have chosen this path. And this is not to be sanctimonious, but it's because I've seen too many church leaders urge people to live this way, but provide no practical support which in a way leaves such people very isolated from people in the church since very few practice it or have ever practiced it.
@@fellow7224
Great points. You brought up an even more complex issue. I hate how single people are treated as lesser than marrieds. Or at least made to feel that way.
It’s WILD to hear supposedly Christian men viewing virginity (a thing that God has told men and women to keep until marriage) as a negative thing.
To view a woman who is a virgin as too much responsibility is WILD! SMH The husband is supposed to be the head of the family and priest of their home. The marriage is supposed to be for the kingdom, for God’s glory. That’s the responsibility they should be focused on.
Judging from the clip shown of Kojo aka Little Black Book and dude from Dear Future Wifey they are speaking from a carnal perspective, leaning on their own understanding and past experiences/sins and not thinking as disciples of Christ which is what we are called to be.
It’s immature to think that a partner who isn’t a virgin will be a better choice when in reality they may not be sexually compatible. 🤷🏽♀️
Whether your future spouse is a virgin or not isn’t the issue it’s trusting God with all areas of our life and following His word because we love Him and He gave His only son for us.
I find it so encouraging all the virgins in the chat :)
I hope God will bless y’all with a beautiful families and stay strong in the Lord 🙌🏽
Honestly, this seems like a preference that surely differs vastly from person to person.
That is a silly proclamation. Who said this and who discipled them?
The world!
Even the red pill says it's better to marry a virgin, yet Christians in these streets are saying something different which doesn't promote purity "a biblical" principle. Yes I understand when you are not pure yourself it may sound hypocritical, but to make it a standard statement, coming from a Christian is crazy
While these men might be part of the church, they're still lost in their desire for sexual immorality. You're right, they lack discipleship and I worry for them that they have some kind of platform where they're spreading this insanity. Not everyone should have a podcast.
Silly is the correct word.
So I listened to the video. I don't think they were wrong in their assessment of why some men who are Christian and have had sex already don't seek virgins.
Like, I dated a virgin in high school after I lost/gave away my virginity wrongly, and although I sought to further relationship with her, the virgin, it did not work out overall. And as I continued to give in to my lustful desires, although I may have been able to make a woman who is a virgin happy and feel completely loved, I would have definitely brought a lot of baggage on her, which I don't think I was prepared to do at that time.
But, I did not seek my wife because she was not a virgin I pursued her because I loved her character.
Overall, proper discipleship would help men who have given themselves away as well as women who have given themselves away in seeking that type of relationship if it be what God has in store for them.
From the perspective of a woman who just turned 20, and waiting until marriage, I think it's so sad that men are ashamed of being a virgin or that being a virgin is a negative thing. Fornication is against God's word, and to see other men get chastised or made fun of because they don't partake in sexual sin is very disheartening. I think there is a lot more baggage that comes with forming soul ties with multiple sex partners, having higher risk of sex diseases, and possible pregnancies. Having a baby mama is way more baggage than not having sex. Saying that a man doesn't want to be with a virgin because "it's too much responsibility" sounds very immature. Just my opinion though.
*Aye Kojo! You’ve made it to American UA-cam oo! 🇬🇭 🇬🇧 @Little Black Book 91 !!!*
we ouchea baby oucheaaaa
I think I’d be totally fine being with a godly woman who has had 3-5 partners as long as they are walking purely with the Lord now and have had a good track record for a while now (I’d say a couple of years is a good indicator of how serious they are). God can redeem anyone and I know He’s redeemed me from so much! I am a virgin but was a slave to masturbation in high school and early on in college. I can extend grace to someone who has a broken sexual past. It goes both ways when observing each other’s fruit and seeing if the other person is yielded to the Holy Spirit. Are they loving, have self-control, peaceful, joyful, kind, faithful etc? Love how you openly discuss topics like this Ruslan! I wish this was more openly discussed in church because I backslid for a few years and I think having a safe space to talk about these issues would have prevented me from sinning against God and my body that He gave me to steward well and for His glory!
Emotional attachment... To your wife is hard.... *Side eye*
I find the I don't want the "responsibility" viewpoint rather worldly quite honestly.
So that says to me.. ok so what other responsibilities would be too much for the dude?
I mean kudos for honesty but 😒
There are men and women who are "technical virgins" and dirty ho's in their minds and even in their actions going right up to that "technical" line... so..
I would rather be with someone who had made a mistake, and come out of that with a pure, clean and chaste heart before God & was currently living celibate than the other.
Do I want to be with someone who has had extensive sexual history, not particularly but what if the guy that God has for me had a crazy bad past and God redeemed him?
Am I going to be like no God, he's not a virgin so he's out?
no. no I'm not. Virginity is precious. It is a beautiful gift. Chastity and celibacy also, beautiful gift. To those who live for God in that way, don't let the world tell you different, it is a right and good thing.
When I was young and virgin myself, I was considered really attractive by everyone. And had too many boys and men asking to date me. But I only ever considered a man for a relationship who I believed was a virgin as well. I wasnt religious then. I just wanted to have a mutually special experience. And just didnt feel it would be fair for me to loose my virginity to a non virgin man. There werent many men to choose from because of that. But I found myself one. He wasnt rich or even too handsome by social standards, but he the right one for me. To this day am very happy with my choice and our bond has been incredible!
A Christian man only deserves a virgin if he himself is a virgin.
When you say Christian men. Do you mean the ones who are already virgins? Cause ain’t no Christian man in his right head will want a women who’s been thru it. I’m writing pre video
Exactly as a believer you would want to optimise your pair bonding ability and marry a believing female if possible right? Not actually prefer a sexually immoral woman.
Good is bad and bad is good now a days…this was sad.
I think we often hear women fall in love with what they hear. I think you can be capable, have a mission, have standards, fit, nutrition minded, confident and not know how to talk to women or have a feminine voice. These things are never talked about and I don’t know why.
Me neither. But I do know preachers tend to beat up on men with their words instead of actually giving them information and solutions to their problems.
They would rather cater to their majority female audience than actually help out men who are out in the wilderness.
@Theohybrid EXACTLY!!!!!
This conversation is weird. Why are men seeking out virgins if they themselves are not???!
And why does it matter if a person is a virgin or not? It's their character, values, personality, connection and compatible that is important and vital in a relationship.
Exactly.
Yes it should go both ways , !! Men should be chaste too. you are not a good Christian if u sleep with a lot of women and then want a virgin wife at the end? double standards! Live by example ! Be the change u want the world to be . people now are hypocrites
@@sia6929 agree ❤
@@njrom2975 Well said, I think these so-called "men of God" forget what God they serve and are leaning towards the world (men these days especially, whether Christian or non-Christians, revere this awful creature named Andrew Tate (or similar egotistical maniacs) for answers on relationships rather than scriptures.
They forget that they are dealing with God's children when engaging or interacting with women. And when generational curses come unto these men because of their behavior in their early adulthood, they still feel entitled to have their cake and eat it too!
Although people can lie, and it's not as simple as "virgins matching with virgins" and "non-virgins matching with non-virgins," I would highly discourage young women to entertain males who are not sexually disciplined (or vice versa), especially those who haven't demonstrated dedication to commit their life to God in a way that would cause them to change their old ways... Because how you do one thing is how you do everything! And, if they are selfish and undisciplined sexually, who's to say they won't repeat the same or similar patterns in marriage. You know how many men have brought STDs, HIV/AIDS, and "unwedded children" to an already established marriage that never had those things to begin with?!
The more I observe men the more I feel like I should just not even consider marriage with one. They simply cannot be trusted in any capacity with that kind of mentality they have. I suppose I would rather give up the dream of having a large family and volunteer with services involving kids. I think I'm going to choose to die a single woman, because the risk involved in being with a man seems to outway the benefits of a family.
I don't care about any body account. I think the most important thing is the persons heart and mind. We as humans are more than the number of people we have slept or not slept with. If you find a genuine connection, then nothing else matters.
Imagine being in your teen years and the hippy free love is the in thing & getting swept into drug's free love & not counting. I'm so glad and thankful for a forgiving Heavenly father, it's not easy as you get older and wiser and become a true believer, the Evil Man always trying to plant seeds of doubt & you have to rebuke him and tell him to get behind me. My sins are forgiven and the Gates of Heaven are open to all that repent and move forward living the life that Jesus wants us to live. Sin is sin. Romans 3:23. All have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God 🙏🏽 💜🙏🏽
Sin is sin. But different sins come with different consequences. Doesn’t mean we aren’t forgiven. Just means there’s different impact.
Proverbs 16:6
By mercy and truth iniquity is purged: and by the fear of the LORD men depart from evil.
I’m a virgin woman, if I find a good man that loved me and wanted to marry me and I him, and he had a history of women or a body count; yes. I can get past history, I want a good man and a man that would be a great father. Virgin or not, it’s the soul that speaks volumes to me.
I think the likelihood of divorce is higher because people that sleep around usually already have something that’s off mentally
People living without Christ live according to the pleasures of the world. God sent Jesus to save us and Not to condemn us. I believe if a man is not a virgin and becomes born again should not judge a woman who is born again if she is no longer a virgin. We should learn the example of how Jesus set for us by His Relationship with Mary Magdalene. Christ loves us and we should follow in His footsteps regardless if we are single or divorced. That's just my opinion especially regarding body count. We should Love just like Christ loved us without boundaries and exceptions because all of us have fallen short of the Glory of God.
Not every guy gonna be like Hosea😂😂😂😭😭😭
You are blessed to be aware of the life lesson God showed in that book. Still has a lot of spiritual and practical application today.
@@davidharman7245 Can you explain what he meant? I'm just finishing up the new testament
I'm mean Hosea was a beautiful picture of God's love for all of us, so for some who are strong enough in the Lord and what be apart of a womans redemption in Christ to those men they are heroes for wanting to live and forgive like Jesus.
Probably because the damage they do they won't be able to blame on past lovers
It might be best for those types of guys to stay away. That way, the inexperienced person can be protected against soul ties.
My girlfriend and I are both 18 yr old virgins but I would not be willing to marry a non virgin.
Stay true to that no matter what ANYONE tells you. Only let God change your mind on that. Too many"Christians" try to make others sweep that under the rug as if it doesn't matter.
Most that profess to be Christian Men do not even want to be abstinent until marriage, they will wife the one in the chuch that is willing to give it up. Been in the Faith for 20 years seen it over and over. They will not even date the women serious about waiting. I didn't say all of them were saved men, but professing tro be saved....most men in the church are like that from my observation
At 9:13 in the video that guy, sorry don’t know who he is, asked ruslan If the stats were based on off a virgin man and virgin woman or is it just based off of at least one them being a virgin. Ruslan just sidestep the question but it does make a difference in how differently men and women view sex. From what I Found to review with regards to the stats, the are based on Virgin women not so much men. At 8:06 ruslan also said by th way, the idea of the more partners you have the more likely you are to get divorced is not entirely correct either, but it could have a negarptive effect on the marriage. Caveat - It was noted that religion seemed to explain why women who marry as virgins have lower divorce rates and that in todays America, virgin marriage appears to be solely the domain of the religious. It also added that religious people are also less likely to divorce. Not a guarantee but still praying our Christian convictions would outweigh our worldly desires. This seems to tell me that remaining a virgin due to religious beliefs is more important to women than men. Let’s get it together men! I have often said it is both a curse and a blessing to be a man at times when it comes to sexual urges thoughts and actions. Ruslan also talked and talks about sexual experiance as if you earn some kind of degree with the more sex you have, this is not a course you take like in school or webinars at work. Please explain how you decide how someone is supposed to have “Mastered” sex….hmmmm!
More to come…revd
If the guy was still involved in doing that kind of lifestyle, i would say no.
If the guy truly wanted to follow Jesus and put that life behind him, I might consider him because that is not who he is anymore. That was the old life.
If I can see that she’s truly living her life for Christ then I don’t care what her past is. 3-5 body count sure. Although I think I would definitely have a hard time with like 25 or something lol I’m 26 yo Virgin
Proverbs 21:5
The thoughts of the diligent tend only to plenteousness; but of every one that is hasty only to want.
bro u love that soundboard hahahaha that cracks me up how much u use it hahaha, love the content man!
I was watching this my son in the other room yells out not ruslan again dad really. Lol
The lighting in these shots are so beautiful tho
Why are we giving this guy a platform who chose not to obey God( whether he was a Christian or not when he had premarital s3x)and then because of his insecurities and shame is putting down Christians who are trying to live a pure life? I have zero body count and I'm in the entertainment business. Christians who think they have it bad waiting until marriage, try being in the entertainment business ,a Christian and constantly turning away opportunities for s3x. Plus, it is very difficult to find Christians to date when you're in that business and there is a shortage of christian single men at church.
I’m a bit confused. As a male with a “high count” (but I am changing my ways), I’m not worthy or valued enough to be loved in a marriage? I certainly hope, if I do marry, the person will look at me as I am in the present, and not my past.
Likewise, I believe the same for a woman with a high count.
You are worthy, get soul ties broken and keep walking in the light if Christ. Don't give into the enemy's or even other Christians attempt to label or shame you.
@@hg3895, thank you. I need to hear this. 😊
Again understand it's what you expected but a man and woman have their own expectation, if a woman wants a man with high income, tall and masculine mN.Then man can also look for beauty and virginity.. Now i really want to see how society functions with all this sexual immorality..
@@appleofeden5029you and me both
Wow.. beat the statistics. Virgin married young now divorced....
This is cap ill take a kind, loving ,gentle hearted woman with a low to no body count at all.
I disagree even if you have had sex. Once you become a Christian & God is now *Lord of your sexuality,* you can remain celibate until if & when He provides you a spouse. He has the power to keep you if *you* want to be kept! Stop this limitation on God! 🇨🇦
I wonder if God is still in the Church’s today?
Nah he's been checked out.
Yea it is. I’m in the same boat as ruslan. I had more previous partners. But my wife was a 33 year old virgin.
When people date they don’t normally ask how many people have you slept with in your entire life. But if you pick up someone who frequents a bar, goes to a night club, or lives a certain type of life where one-night stands may be the norm it would be questionable to most.