Very true, do you think I can just sit at home and watch my wife do this stuff... What kind of man would I be and what am I showing my kids. We do everything together. Thses single people how dare they speak
Single people can’t speak about marriage unless they’ve been married before ie divorced or widowed. If you’ve always been single then you have no idea because single is a season and marriage is a season. They are two totally different seasons in life.
As a Jamaican, both our boys and girls are taught how to care for themselves and basic life skills. A Jamaican man can cook, clean, look after the kids ect ect, and it isn't frowned upon. My parents both worked outside of the home (Mum was a teacher and Dad an engineer), and they split household chores.
Yesss, this is so true. Most Caribbean and African parents teach their kids this, both boys and girls. I remember aunts telling theirs sons they have to learn these things so women can't "cut style" on them lol
@4pst maybe in your household, but people need to find what works in their household instead of trying to fit a cookie cutter mold. Everyone is different
@@Le_Fullmetal Pearl is conservative in general, but she is also kind of a pick me- ie she bends over backwards to say what she thinks men want to hear. As far as how long she has held that view, I can’t say.
As a woman who has accidentally walked into a bachelorette party (I was invited but didn't know what to expect at 18😂) I can tell you a guy doing dishes and cooking up a storm is way hotter than a male stripper. It's also a good father is hotter than a guy at the gym.
@@aramisy.cajigas744 depends on our relationship and how tired we both are. If we're not in a relationship then I'd just admire him like when Micheal B Jordan, Loki, or Ian Somerhalder pop on my screen.
@@aramisy.cajigas744 nah, it's just a turn on. I like to watch men cook. It's that simple, both men and women have turn ons and turn offs, it's normal and natural.
You guys are so on point! I’ve been married for 20 years and the only reason we have not divorced is because of Jesus, communicating needs and expectations (learned over the years), and helping one another as we both work outside of the home. After hearing so much negativity and misinformation on how to be a “high value woman/man”, this encourages me!
Yes god at the forefront leads to healthy growth and marriage! As a head of my family I do both inside and outside chores, my wife does the same. We are both very happy with that!
@@carlalexander6121what do you think of some guys in the comment saying, that a woman shouldn’t work, he should make enough money for too( sorry English is not my first language)
@@neika-berthesineon2868 I think it’s a mutual agreement between you and your spouse, my wife was a stay at home mom for years and when we felt it was time she went back to her career! Mutual agreement and shared responsibilities that support the kids and household life is important!
I thought I was the only one who thought Pearl was delusional. Pearl most of the time will no matter what defend the man because she thinks that's what traditional households are. She is in for a rude awakening if she gets married and she has to work, cook, clean, take care of the kids, and not require any help from her husband. She will be burned out and resentful. Marriage is a partnership. You should do anything possible to help each other and make each other lives easier. She thinks only the woman has to make the husband's life easier. They become one when they get married for a reason.
Everyone is assuming a lot about Pearls opinions from just one video. She does understand all those things you listed. Plus everything is edited down to sound bites. What ALL did she say in full context? She may have elaborated on some of those points.
@@prissylovejoy702 oh my sweet naive child, you clearly have not watched much of pearl. What you see in this video is pearl 99% of the time. What you see here IS HER OPINION, or at least the opnion she project in hopes some guy will pick her 🤣
@Prissy Lovejoy lol I watched many many videos of her before forming my opinion. I don't have a herd mentality, I think for myself. Hence, one of the reasons I can't align myself to any political party. The Pearl you see in this video is the Pearl you see in most of her videos...
Ruslan made the best points here towards the end. You can’t expect a traditional woman if you aren’t making enough money to support your family on your own because if your not it’s not fair to expect your wife to do both the house work and a day job
Facts! I agree. These days with global recession and high cost of living, many cannot afford a so-called traditional household. And life is getting even more experience for the average person.
It can be done if you’re dedicated to the idea of being a traditional wife and are married to a husband who has traditional practical masculine skills. My friend has 4 children, lives in Orange County California (not cheap), and is a stay at home mom homeschooling the kids. She sews their clothing, supplements their grocery spending by growing lots of their own food, shops second hand, goes tenting instead of lavish family vacations, and organizes potlucks with friends instead of going out to eat and drink with them on a weekly basis. He fixes their car, knows the basics about plumbing and electrical and has never needed to hire a professional handyman. They work hard from morning until evening and don’t own a TV, but read stories as a family, play games and take their kids on camping adventures. They are the happiest family I know ❤
@@gabimartens799 I’m a stay at home mom and traditional wife and you completely missed the point of the comment. The point is that men can’t expect women to work a job outside the home AND handle all the chores like a trad wife. If I was working, I wouldn’t be able to do half the things I do for my family
@@snowwhiterosered8571 I can admit to missing a point somewhat, although I don’t think I COMPLETELY missed it. I find that a bit exaggerated. The original comment said that a husband can’t expect a wife to work if he doesn’t earn a lot of money. My point was that my friend’s husband DOESN’T earn a lot of money, he is an entry level construction worker with 4 kids. He doesn’t expect his wife to work AND do all the chores. She can work if she wants to and share chores….but she chooses to stay home and run the household because that’s what she values. I was replying to the part where the Original post said “men can’t expect a traditional woman if they don’t make enough money”. My reply was meant to simply give a real life example of how some people still manage even with only 1 low income, because they are highly dedicated to the idea of a stay at home mom and can supplement costs by using their traditional masculine and feminine skills as I highlighted in my comment. They make it work because they don’t care about anything that an average person cares about in the modern world. No TV, no vacations, no smart phones, no eating out, no shopping malls, no movies, etc. They basically sacrifice ALL luxuries and live extremely simple lives. That’s all my point was illustrating. At no point was I commenting on any sort of statement about a man expecting a woman to work AND do all the chores. I don’t know any family that functions that way. Cheers :)
Tim dropping those gems. As a married man of 23 years myself I totally agree. My wife and I share the chores of the household and sometimes we switch up.
@GuerrillaSM That's funny! I believe he meant if that's all you do. Then yes. I'm a gamer but I balance my life out. We still go out and spend plenty of time together.
If something is working for you then that’s great. But a man needs to decide if he helps around the house or focuses in his business or other things that brings a higher income so he can take his wife in better vacations and maybe getting a cleaning aid to come in once a week. It comes to the point where none of the two want to do shores and they both start to fight over who is not doing enough. As a man of a household is your responsibility not to get to that point just because you wanted to try modern trends
Married 20 years, chores are a nessicary part of life. Neither of us think of chores as "yours and mine". When the chores are done easily/quickly means more energy for fun times. If it's done when I get home, I'm next on his list 😏
Tim actually nailed it on the head here. Just listen to your spouse. Listen to what they want/need from you. And then communicate your expectations that you have for your spouse as well. Listening to all these relationship gurus trying to tell you the blueprint for how marriage works is pointless, and doesn't ever really work.
The interesting psychology is the less sex you have the first month I mean no sex just talk and romantic gestures the more you are attracted to the person because you don't see him just like an object you see him as a human being with wisdom, emotions, feelings, humor, nice hobbies It is an interesting observation that if you wait to have sex, your point of view about the guy is much richer, your love and attraction to him starts to be richer and if you have the first sex after 2 or 3 months, it can be just plus because the richer the point of view about him his lifestyle, his values, his hobbies, music, science, knowledge the richer experience can be sexually and romantically....after a few months of dating. I am just guessing. I am not an expert. But experts say the same way you treat your sex life, the same way you treat other areas of your life. It's like you go to Paris, you don't want to see all the attractions and the Eiffel Tower on the first day. You just want to get some coffee in a nice restaurant and introduce yourself to the city. After a few days, you visit the attractions to absorb its beauty and interesting stuff about the city. We live in a world of easily selling the product, just by clicking on the button as television likes to promote this mindset So it's obvious that this mindset is adopted also in the romantic areas, but it doesn't work that way. People should be more natural. so you are investing your attention into knowing him, even knowing his flaws that are meaningless because you are interested in him as human, it's called imperfect perfection. You see a tree that has an imperfect shape, or size but the tree is imperfectly perfect because of its natural beauty. Nature is imperfect, and trees are imperfect, therefore they are imperfectly perfect in their beauty. Therefore humans also should not try to look perfect but natural.
I really feel sorry for Pearl, honestly, her insecurity is palpable... When my husband grabs a chore out of my hands and tells me to blow off steam, take some time to take care of myself, strengthens our relationship and gains my respect ❤️
This just doesn't even compute to me, honestly. As a single man who's loved alone for 5 years, no roommates or anything, it just doesn't make sense. There's work to be done, you do it. If I don't clean, it doesn't get cleaned. If I don't cook, I don't eat. If I don't do laundry, I don't have clean clothes. And I work 55 hours a week. So when I'm married I don't see me thinking she has to do the chores by herself. You just do what needs to be done. If she's not of that same mindset, we're not gonna be together. You just do what needs to get done
"If she's not of that same mindset, we're not gonna be together. " And you're single, right? How old are you, anyway? Problem is that what Pearl said I've experienced, too, even dumb relationship advise books for women tell the same thing: a woman only counts her contributions to the relationship, but doesn't see his. So in her eyes, if you work 55h a week, you've done one thing. If she cleaned the house, made laundry, dinner and brought the kids to school, she did 4 things, 4x as much as you! You better buy her a house and a nice engagement ring, or she's gonna be real pissed. Way too many women are like this and it's just one among many reasons it's so difficult to form a relationship - maybe for you, too.
This is simple logic. Many people have never had this type of independence, then move into marriage. Which ideally could be fine if your family instilled certain values and responsibilities into you. Many people's parents however are not ensuring that their child has this same independent attitude that you naturally acquire from living alone as an adult.
@@nightmareTomek I think you're missing one important fact, and it's that many women who have moved out of their parent's house have also worked the 55h weeks. It's not like women don't know or have never tasted a full-time job before they get married. They have been in the man's shoes in that sense. So you saying that she doesn't understand what a burden the 55h work week is like is disingenuous, because a single woman who has bills and is not living off of anybody knows exactly what that is like. If you have never been a full-time parent, you may not understand things from their end, which is why you might see it as complaining over simple work. But if they have had a full-time job or multiple jobs, they definitely understand things from your end of the spectrum. As an employee, once you clock out, you're off work. As a spouse and a parent, there is no time off and you must always be in a position to sacrifice something or share your time. It is beneficial for both parents to share duties.
@@censaim You're trying to women-xplain away the issue while at the same time not properly listening to what I said AND pushing yourself/women into the foreground, you've been talking only about the female perspective the WHOLE time, as if their struggles are more important than male struggles. Women do this ALL THE TIME. And thus it feels to men like we're talking to children. Now if I'll explain this again, will you listen? I get it, 55h workweek is exhausting. And I believe, since women are more susceptible to stress and don't have as much muscle mass as men and are usually less confrontational with their coworkers on problems at work, work is generally more taxing for them. But what you don't get: it's taxing for men, too. Women judge us on how much we bring home, so when a wife's income raises above her husbands, statistically women tend to go for a divorce, take house and children away and force men to pay alimony. Even if they don't divorce, they usually lose respect. This is ofc very superficial and thus a woman will always deny it, but all men feel it being true. The issue is that unless a woman did this 55h job previously, she's not gonna understand how taxing it is for her husband. She thinks she's doing all the house work and occupies the children and maybe has a side job and that are million things she's doing, so she assumes her husband is doing basically nothing for 55h. Then she treats him like that. That's what relationship advise books are even saying, Pearl is talking about it and most men know it, too. A woman will always overestimate her input, men accept it, and it would be fine if we work a bit more (men 40h, women 20h, equally split chores). But when women push their viewpoint so far that they have zero appreciation for anything men do for them, it's too much. It gets even weirder. When I had a girlfriend and was working from home, she constantly came to me interrupting me and wanting help. I see this behavior even reflected in media, like movies: if the man focuses on work, the woman has a look on her face of an accusation that he doesn't spend enough time with his family (and with her). Then women decide over 80% of consumer decisions. Happily spending the money. This is really ridiculous. Women have accused men since forever of being children. But in reality this is a projection and women are the children. By the way, I am a parent, my daughter is 7. And for parenting I believe the same thing applies: women are more susceptible to stress, and thus I think parenting is WAY easier than they make it out to be. It's actually quite fun, often I have periods where I'm simply not required and can relax. And I have a half-time job. Honestly, breaking up with my ex made life so much easier, it's a breeze now and really enjoyable. You could argue I had the wrong girlfriend, which might be true, but I feel like this with nearly all women, they bring only two things into a relationship: sex and emotional pressure. Well. I bet you're not even listening right now because I'm not addressing female struggles...
@@nightmareTomek That person is saying that both men and women are both working nowadays, and couples have to have initiatives of keeping the house cleaned. You're very stiff if you think "I had it harder, you're so entitled" towards your partner, the relationship is NOT gonna work out. You're as selfish as the woman. Communicate the problems, the problem isn't exclusive for the man or the woman. Take initiatives. If your partner is being lazy and can't be changed nor confronted, then don't be with her. Doesn't matter if it's a woman or a man who does this, if you're not flexible, your relationship will fail. Also, you calling women children is not gonna get your point across bcs you sound like the women you're complaining about. By the way, Pearl doesn't understand marriage, all the things she said literally mean nothing and just put all the blame on women when men also do the same thing.
Thank you gentlemen! People love to quote all day and night about "wives obey your husbands", meanwhile they forget about the other half of that commandment. You are all wonderful examples of loving and honoring your wives. Loving is an ACTION, not just a feeling. Making her feel secure and respected is how you love her. Pearl reduces everything down to fulfilling the terms of a contract. An action without heart behind it isnt love either.
100% I remember learning about the Sermon on the Mount and how Christ says he didn’t come to abolish the law of Moses but to fulfill it, and I believe what that mean was not just following the law in action but fundamentally in heart. Christ cares where our hearts/intentions are at, not just if we follow the letter of the law.
Ephesians 5:25 Husband's love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it. So Christ died for the church. According to this, a man should be willing to die for his wife. Why can't he do the dishes.
@@MzBatts1011 You women say that all the time, that you don't want to listen but be independent. What you don't see because you are a woman is that women make lots of stupid choices because they refuse to listen. Also when they get criticized, they get offended. It sounds good on paper that love is an action. But then women are dropping good men for the slight chance of a relationship with a higher value man, and when that one screws them over they go back to their old one, crying. I know 2 women that did this personally. Men don't do that, men actually feel a kind of responsibility when in a relationship. This is just one of the issues that is talked about in other communities that don't just blindly pander to women. You're neglecting these issues on purpose to make women look more loveable.
Seeing my husband clean is so powerful bc it may be accomplishing something but its like seeing a manifestation of how loved I am and how much I have on my plate matters to him.😊
That's great. Until you change your mind to monkey branch to some other guy... O_o Sorry, but that's what I see women do. They feel so loved, and suddenly they need to break up to "discover themselves", which usually means sleeping with some new dude.
In relationships, small things if not attended to, can end up being the very things that will destroy the relationships from within. I ain't married yet, but my dad told me and my bros to clean the dishes and know how to cook otherwise we'd be in trouble. Do your part lads. Lead your homes with humility, and don't neglect the small things.
It’s basic life skills. It doesn’t seem basic at the time but EVERYONE should know how to care for themselves. If you care for yourself you can care for others. In relationships you should care for EACH OTHER as a show of love.
@@Mrs.CGraves exactly. To love is to serve not to serve ourselves. Whether it's the husband being the head of his home, he is at first and foremost a servant to his household and he must lead it with humility. The wife also without humility won't submit and support her significant other. To love is to serve, and that service is done in humility.
@@juniorkabana7776 so true. If practiced you have a home of PEACE. I’m very traditional and have no problem being behind my Husband. We have joy, peace, prosperity, love and FUN in our home.
@@Mrs.CGraves keep at it. And may the Lord guide your path. Don't let the world or the modern culture destroy what has been set. Traditional marriages will still stand despite what the current culture says. Broken homes leave society scared. But we can break that cycle by doing better. And it starts now. And it starts in our homes.
@@juniorkabana7776 yes. We have been married 25yrs this year. I got married at 18, I raised 2 wives who are wives. People would comment how antiquated my child rearing was, but I was raising wives. I have a legacy and duty to uphold. I don’t care if it’s outdated. My Son in laws love and respect me because I value their marriage just as much as mine. My Grandsons are being raised as Men, my Granddaughter (a newborn) will be a wife. It has to be done from birth. Our traditional roles designed for us bring more peaceful homes than what I’ve seen today in “modern” relationships. The “Modern Marriage” is so full of resentment and confusion, disappointment and dissatisfaction and ultimately divorce. Not all, but many. 80% of black children are born into Single Mother homes, and 75% of white children start off or end up in Single Mother homes. It’s devastating to children who then are not parented properly, fully invested into, and are unguided to adulthood. Our children are our jewels and our most important people in Society. I’m greatly saddened by the state of society because of 2/3 Generations of Fatherless homes. Fathers are the MOST important role in a child’s life. Fathers provide protection, provision, stability, DISCIPLINE (from behavior and and self), and guidance. It’s quite dire. We can do better and it’s never too late to begin full investment into our children. Another thing is God. We need to return to God as our Ultimate teacher.
I was blessed to have both sets of grandparents when I was younger. The one set, my grandfather was an alcoholic and abusive. My grandmother was a sad women until he passed away. My other set of grandparents had mutual respect and consideration. She worked hard and he worked hard. I remember her telling the story of how sick and exhausted she was after delivering one of her 8 children, and how he would wake up every three hours and bring the infant to breastfeed and the baby would nurse without waking grandma up.
Exactly, a man who isn't just sharing chores like an equal, (the "equal partners" mentality doesn't work) but who takes it upon himself to help his wife. She felt his love for her, as commanded by God upon him, and he did it from his heart. A man doing chores must come from the heart for his house and wife. "Sharing" chores as if they are divvied up is moronic and only leads to tally/score keeping. Appreciate and love your wife in deed not word only. Submit to and respect your husband in deed not in word only. It's right there in Scripture. Your grandfather had it right.
@Ooooooare you in their position? Did you know what that person been through? Did the person go in depth to explain what they experienced during their marriage? 🙄
One of the most helpful things my now husband and I did in pre marital, is go over expectations of who fulfills what roles such as trash, dinner, dishes etc. Still 14 years later we remember our answers to those questions and were still doing most of them. We have also flexed those duties a bit as life has changed throughout the years. This is so important and is the physical expression of a partnership. And 💯 UNTRUE that my man doing dishes isn’t attractive 😂 Enjoy you guys and all you’re doing for the kingdom 🙏🏼
@@unc1221 no it sounds like a smart way to marry a person, you know will mesh well with you. You know things like this prevent divorced right? It's just discussing and talking about expectations. Nothing wrong with that.
Yep especially about the rise of single and lonely men it's not just women. At some point men hit a wall too that is never talked about in social media as if men dont age as well.
Clocked Pearl as less than an expert from the get go. No single girl is giving me the advice for my decade long marriage. I wish her well. Best wishes for her future endeavors. But, no honey, lol. Oh no..... I'm a SAHM in my 30's to a toddler. Gave up a career I loved as a staff accountant to provide sole care for our son. Husband sacrifices a lot to bear the responsibility to provide. THIS is the hardest most exhausting job I've ever had. I'm on call 24 hours a day. And I'm fixing to have to find a way to do it while pregnant. He blesses me by helping me out sometimes and I'm grateful. But he is banned from helping with laundry. He has shrunk his last cute sweater of mine!
On the topic of “divorce isn’t an option”: the scriptural standard for divorce is high; it’s basically infidelity and that’s it. That said, Pearl’s relative could have left her marriage and been scripturally in the clear, because her husband threw his vows out the window. I am genuinely amazed that she took him back.
To everyone reading this. I know that relationships, marriage, and dating looks like it’s over in our modern world, and that it seems like everyone just wants to tear men and women apart. But just remember, marriage and sex for that matter still belong to God. God is going to win this fight. Period! 🙏
Truthfully, women are opting out of marriage. They are not afraid to “die alone”. Women never die alone, the reverse is actually true. Women have communities and friend groups. Men benefit more from marriage and the stats show that.
I don't believe this is true, both elderly men and women report that loneliness as being a huge problem. I think generally speaking women are more sociable. But we all have to go back home, and for the most part friends or communities won't go back home with you, they'll go back home to their own kids, husbands or wives, people that will always take priority in their life over you. To me having a family is so good because I have people that are more important to me than anyone else and I know I am the most important person to my wife and kids. In a way it gives me purpose. We should stop trying to use loneliness as a weapon against the other gender. Both will suffer from it. If 45% of women are single by 2030 that also means at least 45% of men will be. And while you are right that men tend to benefit from marriage more according to studies, it's only by a few percentile, nothing to write home about. Everyone benefits from a happy marriage, with happy family and a legacy when they die.
Just landed on this channel. Loved hearing about marriage from actual married people. Being in a wonderful marriage myself, I can totally relate 😊 Hope single people realise to find relationship advice from happily married people ❤
If you have so many household chores that keeping up with them is affecting both of you and your marriage, both of you need to sit and rethink your lifestyle. Take time to simplify your home, get rid of clutter, reorganize things and create routines, responsibility charts and systems to get it done. In my household my husband makes 80% of the income. To do that, he has a 9 to 5, a business on the side and takes on teaching gigs. I make 20% of the income working when I feel like it, taking on short term projects. We are very comfortable financially. On the other side, I manage the home 80% of the time. I make it easy on me by automating everything I can, keeping a minimalist home, shopping and cooking in bulk and hiring help when I need it. Neither of us is overworked or resentful of our roles. We are also flexible and ready to fill out holes when needed.
Wise words. Which is why I quit working 13 days in a row and now bring in about 10 percent of the income but do most of the household. So.Much. Better.
Married woman for 8 years. Trust these guys when they say, knocking out those tasks reduces the stress and absolutely makes sex much more likely. Absolutely what Aba says, when you do something for a girl, she will be thankful! And that often manifests as having the space freed up mentally to do those physical things.
i know you commented on this a few months ago but what about a girl (who i am currently seeing) says that acts of service does nothing for her. Like she feels nothing if you do anything for her?
Am I watching a video of 3 guys watching a video of two guys watching a video of a girl watching a video of a guy?... UA-cam inception. I hate this meta lol
Ooooo this was convicting. I hate doing housework and feel like im being emasculated when i have to do them. My wife will actually do then for me which is great but the one guy saying its because we lack the humility to serve is why i dont want to…That got me good. I think this is true about me. Really appreciating that.
If pride is keeping you from helping around the house then yes, it's a matter of humility. Your wife will not think less of you when she sees you taking it upon yourself to clean something you notice is dirty or if, on occasion, you ask her what she needs help with .
@@neetshogun My wife's perspective on me is not my issue. It was the way I was feeling. I wasn't saying I don't help out, I actually do help. me and my wife have a system which we agree on so that whilst in my own shortcommings I feel a way I don't need to in some situations. This is why I said the things I actually hate doing my wife is happy to do and I take on other responsibilities. we have good enough communication to be able to talk about things we need from each. My comment was simply about my emotions not about my actions, but better understanding my emotions from this video. I do believe will enable me to be an better husband.
As a single woman going to die alone with cats, it's not always sad. I'm staying single by choice because I can better serve the people I love. It's not sad to be single and live a good and fulfilling life in the service of others. Really liked the video! Glad I stumbled across your channel.
@@nightmareTomek have you never heard of the Benedictines and Carmelites? Those single men who are brothers or monks are happy. The Benedictines of Mary are growing so full of young women just out of College. Gorgeous music, they topped the music charts. Saints have said 1/3 are called to religious life. Those Virgins, man and female, fight the battles are prophecied in the 15th century by Our Lady of Good Success. They are the backbone of the Country. Families are the backbone of society. Without eachother, the greatest battles are lost.
That’s one of the Manosphere talking points and a tactic to scare women into being in relationships with men when they don’t want to. Studies show that single women are the happiest population group. Women also never die alone because outside of intimate relationships, women form close and healthy relationships with other family members and friends. Men use that line because marriage benefits them more.
@@happilydivorced3235 Except that women do want relationships. When they chase their high value men who says he doesn't want long term, she's thinking to herself "I'm gonna change him". I've heard dating advise books (for women) say that women sometimes love the relationship over the guy she has the relationship with, which isn't good for the relationship. And a few hundreds of thousands of years ago women most likely needed a relationship to survive. The problem is probably that women exert control in the relationship (because they're afraid or they don't actually trust the men), but this makes them miserable, too. It also looks to me like women are in a bad mood on purpose to get things, which is a form of control, too.
@nightmareTomek Not true at all. Pearls audience are a load of bitter, entitled 20 somethings who think they are owed a relationship under their terms. The majority of people who watch the likes of Pearl and Fresh & Fit are sad men, who are basically on the verge of being incels and get off on bashing women. The person who posted this comment is entitled to an opinion on Pearl because even single people can see how ridiculous she's being. There's nothing wrong with finding peace in your own company. It doesn't make you a failure. The problem with society now is it pressures you into needing to be with someone, and if you're not there must be a fault with you.
I really appreciate this content from you guys. I'm single and turning age 23 soon. Just got out of a relationships about a year ago where I made so many mistakes. Got into red pill and yes it's helped me learn a few things but it doesn't beat actual Christian values that are all about love and reason. I thank God very much for this type of content. It is always much needed
Yes! I agree with a lot of what the red pill has to say about modern day culture, but they are really lacking in Christian morals and values. A lot of them talk about making lots of money, being fit, and living your best life. Which is fine, nothing wrong with being rich and living your best life. But at the end of the day none of those things are going to be by your side on your death bed. It’s going to be your friends and family who love you and will be praying for you. I’m so thankful I married a man who cares more about his Christian morals and values/spending time with his family more then he cares about being a millionaire.
She’s my top manly man when it comes to Christian marriage advice. He’s so fine, witty, loving, sensitive and extremely intelligent. His wife is exactly that too. I love them and how they raise their boys.
You guys are totally right! Each marriage is different, and between me and my husband, he makes 60k and I stay home with our three kids for the time being, I’m also struggling with a chronic health problem. I do a lot of housework and cooking(to an OCD level my husband says), but he STILL helps me with housework, cooking, and kids..regardless of him working 55-60 hours a week. Being a SAHM is tiring in itself, I couldn’t imagine having to do it all and also work a full time job on top of it! Pearl can’t speak from loved experience, I really like some of the things she says, but she doesn’t really KNOW…every situation is different!
If your going to get married you need to be aligned on MONEY: how you spend, budget, save, invest KIDS: do you want them, education, values RELIGION: do you practice, value system, core beliefs, shared values EXPECTATIONS of EACH OTHER: what do you expect in year 1, 5, 10 etc of each other If you don’t have these aligned and conversations prior to getting married DONT GET MARRIED. I’ve been married 25 years, and I’m a traditional wife. It’s different today and chores just need to be done, it’s small potatoes. Provision, protection, care of children, budget are most important.
This is finally a podcast worth listening to regarding realtionship and the proper way to speak on them. You guys hit the nail on the head on topics that I've heard awful takes on. I feel bad for young men who waste their time listening to hateful and just plain dangerous talking points from other channels on UA-cam. You guys are doing great work here!
I'm a single female and just turned 41. This entire terrain of dating and single people.... the great godly men and women are hard to find! People are SO discouraged. And many other people I would consider solid Christians... talk like they've COMPLETELY given up on marriage and children. It's SO SAD.
Whew thank you for this video. Popular terms to sway thoughts “Data shows” and “let me look at this 30 year study”. There is data everywhere. Not all of it is accurate. Real life experiences teach you.
Not to mention the average person isn't good at analyzing data, these podcasts and social media are full of people misinterpreting data with their whole chests out and repeating falsehoods. There's a reason why data analysts and statisticians exist, we need people to interpret data appropriately and it's not a simple task
@@utamu777 Yes!… I have been collecting data for 8-10 years for my daytime career. There are so many aspects to data you have to dissect to get the full picture.
One of the best things my ex husband used to do was take my son to the barber shop. I despised going in there and being amongst all men....sometimes theyd stare or say things and make me uncomfortable. When he started taking my son it was a HUGE stress off of me. He didnt do much else..including chores(part of the reason we split) but it DOES make a difference to lend help where you can❤ women are not robots or superheros. We need help too❤❤ great discussion here ❤
Omg. Finally someone said it that there’s a whole population of women who have had less than 4 bodies. As an older woman I don’t know any of my friends who have slept around. Yes they’ve had premarital sex but ended up married to the same person. Several were virgins when they married and a few who got married as virgins their marriages failed. But they remained at their core women who honoured their bodies. I also know young women in their 20s and 30s who are the same way
I know someone already said this in the comments but, I am so glad to hear Christian married men with real experience speaking on this cookie cutter “how women and men should be in a relationship”. This video had me saying “YES!” and nodding immensely like every 30 seconds. Thank you for this video
I make less than 50,000 and my wife doesn't work. I live in a rural area it's not a sacrifice to me or her, but you gotta be willing to move out of the city. I'm not throwing shad just saying it's possible to have one income, and it be less than 50,000.
Fully agree. Less than 50k, and we live In CA, in a million pop county, so to take it down a bit it can be done also within areas of sacrifice. We wanted to homeschool our children at a certain point so I layed my career down to do so. It came with a bit of sacrifice, but the gain was worth it. It can be done.
@fi-train8961 if you grow your own food, you save a lot of money. And I don't plan on the same salary forever it's just a sacrifice now. I would never suggest being at this level of income unless temporary.
“A truly good wife is the most precious treasure a man can find! Her husband depends on her, and she never lets him down. She is good to him every day of her life, and with her own hands she gladly makes clothes. She is like a sailing ship that brings food from across the sea. She gets up before daylight to prepare food for her family and for her servants. She knows how to buy land and how to plant a vineyard, and she always works hard. She knows when to buy or sell, and she stays busy until late at night. She spins her own cloth, and she helps the poor and the needy. Her family has warm clothing, and so she doesn't worry when it snows. She does her own sewing, and everything she wears is beautiful. Her husband is a well-known and respected leader in the city. She makes clothes to sell to the shop owners. She is strong and graceful, as well as cheerful about the future. Her words are sensible, and her advice is thoughtful. She takes good care of her family and is never lazy. Her children praise her, and with great pride her husband says, “There are many good women, but you are the best!” Charm can be deceiving, and beauty fades away, but a woman who honors the Lord deserves to be praised. Show her respect- praise her in public for what she has done.” Proverbs 31:10-31
@@eustacianarcis9269 Did you really start hating yourself because of what the red pill community say about women 😮, I'm intrigued by this, they almost brainwashed you.
I appreciate this so much. I came across Pearl a couple of months ago and i really liked what she was saying in her shorts, watching her full length podcasts is when i started feeling that unrealistic aspect of what she was saying. Im newly married and nearing the end of my 1st pregnancy. Going into this marriage, me 21 my husband 28, i was making the most money. With both of us working and feeling that pressure to manage the household because i was the woman was something that was addressed immediately. To claim that you can "choose" to not be tired is RIDICULOUS. What shes trying to teach to young girls like me is dangerous and her standards are impossible, unrealistic, and unlived. No real world experience. Its like she wants women to be burned out and zombified
(7 min mark) You can tell that he's been married for 23 years. Because he knows a woman well! Very well versed. There is nothing that turns me on more than my husband helping out around the house. And NOT huffing and puffing about it. All my girlfriends will say the same thing. In fact, it's a constant part of our group texts. I know it doesn't sound sexy but that kind of consideration from your partner IS SEXY!!! I PROMISE!
👏🏻this video was one of the most intelligent discussions I’ve seen on This topic. I’ve always said that expectations is is one of the main reasons for failed relationships. People have this idea of what they want the relationship or there partner to be and then get upset when it doesn’t turn out that way. Communication is the key to a successful relationship and can prevent you from putting in time and effort into a relationship with someone that doesn’t line up with what you want. I love that you pointed out that men and women are responsible for the problems with modern dating. The extreme feminist and extreme red pill rage, just want to blame the other gender and don’t present any logical resolutions.
Agree 100% with everything said! However, I feel like there was a missed opportunity here to discuss what the Biblical perspective on divorce is, and what does it mean to actually "love" your partner. I would have really enjoyed everyone's perspective on that. I've been married 12 years, and I was raised to believe that love is sacrificial, and you don't leave your spouse for any reason other than not being equally yoked, abused, or if there is an affair. So part of me gets what Pearly was trying to say, which is don't divorce over petty things (not to say that 1 person handling the bulk of labor in and outside of the home is petty). However, would it be acceptable with our understanding of scripture to divorce for such a reason? We are called to love our spouses unconditionally, and if we try to model Jesus, that means sacrificially. But how do we contend with that calling when only 1 person in the relationship is taking that seriously? Would really love a deeper conversation about this.
@C M you're right. More specifically if the unbelieving spouse chooses to separate, it is acceptable to God. I didn't mean to imply you can just leave your unbelieving spouse.
My man is the cleanest person I know. While I cook he cleans our house, better than I can. He also cooks better but I just insist on doing it for him most of the time, and man it turns me on. He works by the way. Sometimes i wake up to a clean house and he'd be like I couldn't sleep so I found something to do. He's the best partner, my helper as he puts it. I love him.
Thanks for this Ruslan! Would love it if you hosted a woman on the show to talk about marriage from a woman's perspective (especially around whether women can/can't have it all!).
I've been saying it FOR YEARS..... uncommunicated expectations kills relationships. I had no empirical evidence, nor 20 years of providing therapy - more like 2 years of providing therapy. I've called BS on finances being the reason for divorce a looooong time ago.
I agree with pretty much everything they said. The only thing I would push back on a bit just for clarifications sake is that I don't think Pearl was talking about scenarios where the wife is working part time or full time and having to do all the chores. I think she was more so speaking to certain situations where the man is working full time and the stay at home wife isn't pulling her weight while the husband is out working. So in other words if the wife is just sitting at home lounging on the couch watching television and then the husband comes home to a dirty house and now has to take on her role after he just got home from an exhausting day.
I only disagree with one thing… the idea that single women are dying alone with cats. That is dependent upon whether they are in Christ. In Christ, single hood is an honor and a blessing.
Yeah, the idea that single women are automatically doomed to loneliness is actually unbiblical. Paul said it's better to be single, so how can some believe that God basically curses a woman for being unmarried? That's a sinful perspective. Yahweh loves all of his children and meet their needs, regardless of marital status
Why do they only concentrate on single women? How many single men will there be? How many single men will die alone? The media and psychologists always only makes mention of single women.
First time viewer. I love this middle of the road dialogue acknowledging that there are crazy people both on the right and left. I hate when Pearl is reccomended on my feed because she wants to act like an authority on marriage when I have a husband and she does not. It's absolutely ridiculous.
As a married person, i have to say that saying your expectations out loud to your partner before marriage is very important, and same for continuing communication throughout the marriage.
Funny how just pearly things who isn't married is giving advice against Preach who is very very happily married. That's why she doesn't know that men helping out their wives is a big turn on for the wives
And the men that are , are men that have gf or wives .. because they know everything she says is completely incorrect and also disrespectful to both genders. She is making guys out to be a bunch of immoral cheats that disrespect women and should not value women and calling them out if they respect women, this is why the men are turning on her. Only guys that like her will stay single.
I so appreciate you guys deploring the “cookie cutter roles” thing touted frequently. God made each of us to be a beautiful and unique individual, and so each marriage is equally unique. Working out the roles between partners afresh and without cookie cutter expectations is very much of God. Thank you. ❤🎉😊
My husband is a over the road trucker. Everything is left on me until he comes home for a week. In that week he helps me around the house not because I make him but because he appreciates all I do and wants to show me his love through help. He is showing our kids how to show love through actions and not just saying I Love you. My Aunt gave me the best advice. When her and my uncle would get in an argument they would wash dishes so they didn't say something to one another they would regret. They had a blended family of 6 kids. 5 boys and 1 girl plus all the neighborhood kids. So dishes were never ending.
Taking relationship/marriage advice from people who have never really been in a relationship (and definitely have never been married) is like taking fitness advice from a 350lb guy chowing down on McDonald's who has never even seen a bench press. The sad reality of this social media age is it enables people who have absolutely no expertise nor experience to pretend to be gurus. Much of the RP community falls into that category.
I have a friend who got her PhD last year. She's never had a job and daddy still pays her rent/bills while she continues to study, job hunt, and work out. I work as a nanny. I recently had a conversation with her where I was explaining that your time, attention, and energy is finite. She disagreed. Her argument was manage your time better. I was mind blown to realize how out of touch and clueless she was.
😂❤ Love this channel. Married 21 years mother of 4 kids and always been a stay at home mom and i can say for sure this girl lives in delusional world i remember feeding the baby's while husband helped me with the house. Marriage is a partnership not a doctorship. Doesn't matter if both work or none work or 1 work it stays a partnership in marriage. No one is the same no matter what statistics say
The mister clean Super Bowl commercial was one of the best and my husband cleaning the whole house is one of the sexiest things going. Just Pearly things literally sounds like a kid who doesn’t know what sex is explaining sex to an adult.
I agree with the guy (yellow frame on glasses) who says the people in the marriage or relationship should sit down and decide how to run their household, based on their pwrsonalities, skill sets, needs, goals / objectives and overall circumstances. I don't believe in a one-size-fits-all approach to relationships and life.
I’m currently a nursing student, single mom of two amazing adopted children, if I had a choice to be a married woman and stay home to raise the kids I would do it… I love to keep house and have a garden but it’s hard to keep house while wearing a man’s pants it sucks! Lol 😂 Pearly has always been a horrible example to women. My nursing career is a passion and a financial freedom but it’s not a dream to work forever!
You sound like me😊. I am a student nurse too. I am 28 years old and still hoping for a godly man to marry. Yes, I enjoy nursing but I am more family oriented than career oriented. I sometimes feel like I am filling up time while I wait on God for a husband.
I lived with my 4 siblings for more than 20years, had my sister as a roommate for 6 years, and ive been married to my husband for only 1 year, and i can swear it’s a lot to live with my siblings. 1. Ive known them all my life 2. I have no real financial responsibilities because our parents paid the bills 3. We mind our own business most of the time 4. We care for each other well beings, but we don’t have high expectations from each other. 5. I can’t choose to whom i share blood relations with, but i definitely can choose with who i share my life with. So yeah, totally not the same. Friggin ridiculous to even compare the two with.
Its hilarious that she's an expert on something she never experienced herself. And only reference her own family and roommates. Its a BIG world sweetie🙄
I’ve been married for 22y this August, together for 23 & we met when we were 15! I refuse to take marital advice from someone who is not married. I agree that it’s between the 2 people in the marriage that are or should be sure they’re choosing the right person for the right reasons! No one is perfect so let that picture perfect fantasy go! Communication is always a must right from jump! Respect, Patience, & Appreciation for each other !
🤝: Watch the FULL 3 Hour Podcast with Tim Ross Here www.patreon.com/kingsdream
Yall male feminists?! Aww hell naw...bruh...im out. Point me to the exit.
isn't Tim Ross saying God is like a stripper? bruh
Let me make this really easy for you guys and concise: stop watching porn. Do your part- women will do ours.
Finally married men speaking on this topic!! I’m so tired of single men and women speaking on this and misinforming others.
Very true, do you think I can just sit at home and watch my wife do this stuff... What kind of man would I be and what am I showing my kids. We do everything together. Thses single people how dare they speak
Single people can’t speak about marriage unless they’ve been married before ie divorced or widowed. If you’ve always been single then you have no idea because single is a season and marriage is a season. They are two totally different seasons in life.
Been married for 6 year's and I'm blk I agree with pearl tho yall just want us to watch I'm out
No seriously. The most low vibration demons talking about love and union… I’m so sick of it.
There’s a ton of misinformation. Especially, with how divorce proceedings go.
She's comparing living in a marriage to living with siblings LOL. That's like me comparing childrearing to taking care of a pet.
Oh that happens!
@@Tre492 I’m sayin! I hear this all the time and it’s ridiculous
the analogy lol!!!
😂😂😂
Real talk someone tried to compare their dogs to my twins
As a single person, the best advice I would give to married people is to not take advice about marriage from single people FR 😂
Literally the best advice offered by a single person here 💜😂
@@ShalomDove Thank you, 😂 💖
This is the great advice, honestly
@@crissyc9831 Thank you 💖
Exactly all these ppl giving advice and no experience.
As a Jamaican, both our boys and girls are taught how to care for themselves and basic life skills. A Jamaican man can cook, clean, look after the kids ect ect, and it isn't frowned upon. My parents both worked outside of the home (Mum was a teacher and Dad an engineer), and they split household chores.
Yesss, this is so true. Most Caribbean and African parents teach their kids this, both boys and girls. I remember aunts telling theirs sons they have to learn these things so women can't "cut style" on them lol
As it should be honestly
@@tiffanykim2773 no. Men and women have different roles
@4pst maybe in your household, but people need to find what works in their household instead of trying to fit a cookie cutter mold. Everyone is different
Yes both my Jamaican parents worked. My mum was more part-time with my siblings. They both worked hard and it wasn't easy for them.
“You can choose not to be exhausted.” 😂😂😂 ok, pearl. You live in that world if you want, but the rest of us live in reality.
She’s a pick me
@@aubriellemorgan that no one is picking lol
I'm confused, i thought Pearl was supported by MGTOW and redpilled dudes in general.. Does she went nuts or she always has that kind of position ?
@@Le_Fullmetal Pearl is conservative in general, but she is also kind of a pick me- ie she bends over backwards to say what she thinks men want to hear. As far as how long she has held that view, I can’t say.
@@ShalomDove Thanks for the info.
As a woman who has accidentally walked into a bachelorette party (I was invited but didn't know what to expect at 18😂) I can tell you a guy doing dishes and cooking up a storm is way hotter than a male stripper. It's also a good father is hotter than a guy at the gym.
Kris gets it
Does that mean you would zeggs him?
@@aramisy.cajigas744 depends on our relationship and how tired we both are. If we're not in a relationship then I'd just admire him like when Micheal B Jordan, Loki, or Ian Somerhalder pop on my screen.
@@krisl6537 Sounds like z3x is a reward, which is sad for anyone in a marriage.
@@aramisy.cajigas744 nah, it's just a turn on. I like to watch men cook. It's that simple, both men and women have turn ons and turn offs, it's normal and natural.
You guys are so on point! I’ve been married for 20 years and the only reason we have not divorced is because of Jesus, communicating needs and expectations (learned over the years), and helping one another as we both work outside of the home. After hearing so much negativity and misinformation on how to be a “high value woman/man”, this encourages me!
Mutual submission to God is essential to a healthy relationship. Alhamdulilah!
Yes god at the forefront leads to healthy growth and marriage! As a head of my family I do both inside and outside chores, my wife does the same. We are both very happy with that!
@@carlalexander6121what do you think of some guys in the comment saying, that a woman shouldn’t work, he should make enough money for too( sorry English is not my first language)
@@neika-berthesineon2868 I think it’s a mutual agreement between you and your spouse, my wife was a stay at home mom for years and when we felt it was time she went back to her career! Mutual agreement and shared responsibilities that support the kids and household life is important!
@@carlalexander6121 thank you for responding!
This girl has such a "pick me" energy. I hope she won't marry the type of man she's advocating for because she's going to suffer.
I hope she gets married to the type of man she's advocating for so that she experiences it for what it is
She is never going to be married
I don't see her marrying anytime soon. Maybe when she hits 30 she'll force a marriage with someone just to justify what she's been saying
Then she'll go on fresh & fit and get the warning siren blasted at her for not being married before 30 yrs 🙄
The pick me that never gets picked...
I thought I was the only one who thought Pearl was delusional. Pearl most of the time will no matter what defend the man because she thinks that's what traditional households are. She is in for a rude awakening if she gets married and she has to work, cook, clean, take care of the kids, and not require any help from her husband. She will be burned out and resentful. Marriage is a partnership. You should do anything possible to help each other and make each other lives easier. She thinks only the woman has to make the husband's life easier. They become one when they get married for a reason.
Everyone is assuming a lot about Pearls opinions from just one video. She does understand all those things you listed. Plus everything is edited down to sound bites. What ALL did she say in full context? She may have elaborated on some of those points.
@@prissylovejoy702 oh my sweet naive child, you clearly have not watched much of pearl.
What you see in this video is pearl 99% of the time.
What you see here IS HER OPINION, or at least the opnion she project in hopes some guy will pick her 🤣
@Prissy Lovejoy lol I watched many many videos of her before forming my opinion. I don't have a herd mentality, I think for myself. Hence, one of the reasons I can't align myself to any political party. The Pearl you see in this video is the Pearl you see in most of her videos...
@@GeekyMamaBear exactly lol
@@prissylovejoy702 She repeat the same talking points in most of her videos so what
Ruslan made the best points here towards the end. You can’t expect a traditional woman if you aren’t making enough money to support your family on your own because if your not it’s not fair to expect your wife to do both the house work and a day job
Facts! I agree.
These days with global recession and high cost of living, many cannot afford a so-called traditional household. And life is getting even more experience for the average person.
It can be done if you’re dedicated to the idea of being a traditional wife and are married to a husband who has traditional practical masculine skills. My friend has 4 children, lives in Orange County California (not cheap), and is a stay at home mom homeschooling the kids. She sews their clothing, supplements their grocery spending by growing lots of their own food, shops second hand, goes tenting instead of lavish family vacations, and organizes potlucks with friends instead of going out to eat and drink with them on a weekly basis.
He fixes their car, knows the basics about plumbing and electrical and has never needed to hire a professional handyman. They work hard from morning until evening and don’t own a TV, but read stories as a family, play games and take their kids on camping adventures. They are the happiest family I know ❤
@@gabimartens799 she has time to do that because she is a stay at home mom
@@gabimartens799 I’m a stay at home mom and traditional wife and you completely missed the point of the comment. The point is that men can’t expect women to work a job outside the home AND handle all the chores like a trad wife. If I was working, I wouldn’t be able to do half the things I do for my family
@@snowwhiterosered8571 I can admit to missing a point somewhat, although I don’t think I COMPLETELY missed it. I find that a bit exaggerated.
The original comment said that a husband can’t expect a wife to work if he doesn’t earn a lot of money. My point was that my friend’s husband DOESN’T earn a lot of money, he is an entry level construction worker with 4 kids. He doesn’t expect his wife to work AND do all the chores. She can work if she wants to and share chores….but she chooses to stay home and run the household because that’s what she values.
I was replying to the part where the Original post said “men can’t expect a traditional woman if they don’t make enough money”. My reply was meant to simply give a real life example of how some people still manage even with only 1 low income, because they are highly dedicated to the idea of a stay at home mom and can supplement costs by using their traditional masculine and feminine skills as I highlighted in my comment. They make it work because they don’t care about anything that an average person cares about in the modern world. No TV, no vacations, no smart phones, no eating out, no shopping malls, no movies, etc. They basically sacrifice ALL luxuries and live extremely simple lives. That’s all my point was illustrating. At no point was I commenting on any sort of statement about a man expecting a woman to work AND do all the chores. I don’t know any family that functions that way.
Cheers :)
Tim dropping those gems. As a married man of 23 years myself I totally agree. My wife and I share the chores of the household and sometimes we switch up.
Was he also on point when he said you'll never get a decent woman if you play call of duty? 🤣
@GuerrillaSM That's funny! I believe he meant if that's all you do. Then yes. I'm a gamer but I balance my life out. We still go out and spend plenty of time together.
@@GameFreak4Ever exactly. You understood what he meant because you both think reasonably.
If something is working for you then that’s great. But a man needs to decide if he helps around the house or focuses in his business or other things that brings a higher income so he can take his wife in better vacations and maybe getting a cleaning aid to come in once a week. It comes to the point where none of the two want to do shores and they both start to fight over who is not doing enough. As a man of a household is your responsibility not to get to that point just because you wanted to try modern trends
Married 20 years, chores are a nessicary part of life. Neither of us think of chores as "yours and mine". When the chores are done easily/quickly means more energy for fun times. If it's done when I get home, I'm next on his list 😏
Pearl has no husband…. Not even a boyfriend…… and she thinks she has it all figured out 😂😂😂😂😂
Oh and she dated a millionaire too but broke up with him.😂
Also Pearl has never been in a long term relationship but loves giving relationship advice! She is a joke!
I absolutely lost it when she said, "he is stressed because he has to take care of the yard." 😂😂😂
Lol. That's what I do to relieve stress. Haha. She's so out of touch.
Tim actually nailed it on the head here. Just listen to your spouse. Listen to what they want/need from you. And then communicate your expectations that you have for your spouse as well. Listening to all these relationship gurus trying to tell you the blueprint for how marriage works is pointless, and doesn't ever really work.
The interesting psychology is the less sex you have the first month
I mean no sex just talk and romantic gestures
the more you are attracted to the person
because you don't see him just like an object
you see him as a human being with wisdom, emotions, feelings, humor, nice hobbies
It is an interesting observation that if you wait to have sex, your point of view about the guy is much richer,
your love and attraction to him starts to be richer
and if you have the first sex after 2 or 3 months, it can be just plus
because the richer the point of view about him
his lifestyle, his values, his hobbies, music, science, knowledge
the richer experience can be sexually and romantically....after a few months of dating.
I am just guessing. I am not an expert.
But experts say
the same way you treat your sex life,
the same way you treat other areas of your life.
It's like you go to Paris, you don't want to see all the attractions and the Eiffel Tower on the first day.
You just want to get some coffee in a nice restaurant and introduce yourself to the city.
After a few days, you visit the attractions to absorb its beauty and interesting stuff about the city.
We live in a world of easily selling the product, just by clicking on the button
as television likes to promote this mindset
So it's obvious that this mindset is adopted also in the romantic areas, but it doesn't work that way.
People should be more natural.
so you are investing your attention into knowing him, even knowing his flaws that are meaningless
because you are interested in him as human, it's called imperfect perfection.
You see a tree that has an imperfect shape, or size but the tree is imperfectly perfect because of its natural beauty.
Nature is imperfect, and trees are imperfect, therefore they are imperfectly perfect in their beauty.
Therefore humans also should not try to look perfect but natural.
I really feel sorry for Pearl, honestly, her insecurity is palpable... When my husband grabs a chore out of my hands and tells me to blow off steam, take some time to take care of myself, strengthens our relationship and gains my respect ❤️
"blow off steam" thats because u work (out-of-pocket) outside the home-----right ?????????????????
This just doesn't even compute to me, honestly. As a single man who's loved alone for 5 years, no roommates or anything, it just doesn't make sense. There's work to be done, you do it. If I don't clean, it doesn't get cleaned. If I don't cook, I don't eat. If I don't do laundry, I don't have clean clothes. And I work 55 hours a week. So when I'm married I don't see me thinking she has to do the chores by herself. You just do what needs to be done. If she's not of that same mindset, we're not gonna be together. You just do what needs to get done
"If she's not of that same mindset, we're not gonna be together. " And you're single, right? How old are you, anyway?
Problem is that what Pearl said I've experienced, too, even dumb relationship advise books for women tell the same thing: a woman only counts her contributions to the relationship, but doesn't see his. So in her eyes, if you work 55h a week, you've done one thing. If she cleaned the house, made laundry, dinner and brought the kids to school, she did 4 things, 4x as much as you! You better buy her a house and a nice engagement ring, or she's gonna be real pissed. Way too many women are like this and it's just one among many reasons it's so difficult to form a relationship - maybe for you, too.
This is simple logic. Many people have never had this type of independence, then move into marriage. Which ideally could be fine if your family instilled certain values and responsibilities into you. Many people's parents however are not ensuring that their child has this same independent attitude that you naturally acquire from living alone as an adult.
@@nightmareTomek
I think you're missing one important fact, and it's that many women who have moved out of their parent's house have also worked the 55h weeks. It's not like women don't know or have never tasted a full-time job before they get married. They have been in the man's shoes in that sense. So you saying that she doesn't understand what a burden the 55h work week is like is disingenuous, because a single woman who has bills and is not living off of anybody knows exactly what that is like.
If you have never been a full-time parent, you may not understand things from their end, which is why you might see it as complaining over simple work. But if they have had a full-time job or multiple jobs, they definitely understand things from your end of the spectrum. As an employee, once you clock out, you're off work. As a spouse and a parent, there is no time off and you must always be in a position to sacrifice something or share your time. It is beneficial for both parents to share duties.
@@censaim You're trying to women-xplain away the issue while at the same time not properly listening to what I said AND pushing yourself/women into the foreground, you've been talking only about the female perspective the WHOLE time, as if their struggles are more important than male struggles.
Women do this ALL THE TIME. And thus it feels to men like we're talking to children.
Now if I'll explain this again, will you listen?
I get it, 55h workweek is exhausting. And I believe, since women are more susceptible to stress and don't have as much muscle mass as men and are usually less confrontational with their coworkers on problems at work, work is generally more taxing for them. But what you don't get: it's taxing for men, too. Women judge us on how much we bring home, so when a wife's income raises above her husbands, statistically women tend to go for a divorce, take house and children away and force men to pay alimony. Even if they don't divorce, they usually lose respect. This is ofc very superficial and thus a woman will always deny it, but all men feel it being true.
The issue is that unless a woman did this 55h job previously, she's not gonna understand how taxing it is for her husband. She thinks she's doing all the house work and occupies the children and maybe has a side job and that are million things she's doing, so she assumes her husband is doing basically nothing for 55h. Then she treats him like that.
That's what relationship advise books are even saying, Pearl is talking about it and most men know it, too. A woman will always overestimate her input, men accept it, and it would be fine if we work a bit more (men 40h, women 20h, equally split chores). But when women push their viewpoint so far that they have zero appreciation for anything men do for them, it's too much.
It gets even weirder. When I had a girlfriend and was working from home, she constantly came to me interrupting me and wanting help. I see this behavior even reflected in media, like movies: if the man focuses on work, the woman has a look on her face of an accusation that he doesn't spend enough time with his family (and with her).
Then women decide over 80% of consumer decisions. Happily spending the money. This is really ridiculous.
Women have accused men since forever of being children. But in reality this is a projection and women are the children.
By the way, I am a parent, my daughter is 7. And for parenting I believe the same thing applies: women are more susceptible to stress, and thus I think parenting is WAY easier than they make it out to be. It's actually quite fun, often I have periods where I'm simply not required and can relax. And I have a half-time job. Honestly, breaking up with my ex made life so much easier, it's a breeze now and really enjoyable. You could argue I had the wrong girlfriend, which might be true, but I feel like this with nearly all women, they bring only two things into a relationship: sex and emotional pressure.
Well. I bet you're not even listening right now because I'm not addressing female struggles...
@@nightmareTomek That person is saying that both men and women are both working nowadays, and couples have to have initiatives of keeping the house cleaned. You're very stiff if you think "I had it harder, you're so entitled" towards your partner, the relationship is NOT gonna work out. You're as selfish as the woman. Communicate the problems, the problem isn't exclusive for the man or the woman. Take initiatives. If your partner is being lazy and can't be changed nor confronted, then don't be with her. Doesn't matter if it's a woman or a man who does this, if you're not flexible, your relationship will fail. Also, you calling women children is not gonna get your point across bcs you sound like the women you're complaining about.
By the way, Pearl doesn't understand marriage, all the things she said literally mean nothing and just put all the blame on women when men also do the same thing.
Thank you gentlemen! People love to quote all day and night about "wives obey your husbands", meanwhile they forget about the other half of that commandment. You are all wonderful examples of loving and honoring your wives. Loving is an ACTION, not just a feeling. Making her feel secure and respected is how you love her. Pearl reduces everything down to fulfilling the terms of a contract. An action without heart behind it isnt love either.
100%
I remember learning about the Sermon on the Mount and how Christ says he didn’t come to abolish the law of Moses but to fulfill it, and I believe what that mean was not just following the law in action but fundamentally in heart. Christ cares where our hearts/intentions are at, not just if we follow the letter of the law.
@elisa Hamil I have been saying the same thing every time I hear them say you should obey your husband or woman should be submissive
Ephesians 5:25 Husband's love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it. So Christ died for the church. According to this, a man should be willing to die for his wife. Why can't he do the dishes.
@@MzBatts1011 You women say that all the time, that you don't want to listen but be independent. What you don't see because you are a woman is that women make lots of stupid choices because they refuse to listen. Also when they get criticized, they get offended.
It sounds good on paper that love is an action. But then women are dropping good men for the slight chance of a relationship with a higher value man, and when that one screws them over they go back to their old one, crying. I know 2 women that did this personally. Men don't do that, men actually feel a kind of responsibility when in a relationship. This is just one of the issues that is talked about in other communities that don't just blindly pander to women. You're neglecting these issues on purpose to make women look more loveable.
Very true. Especially if you're a Christian; if you're not doing anything out of love then you are missing the entire point of Christianity
Seeing my husband clean is so powerful bc it may be accomplishing something but its like seeing a manifestation of how loved I am and how much I have on my plate matters to him.😊
That's great.
Until you change your mind to monkey branch to some other guy... O_o Sorry, but that's what I see women do. They feel so loved, and suddenly they need to break up to "discover themselves", which usually means sleeping with some new dude.
@@nightmareTomek Which women are you talking about? Again the problem lies in uncommunicated problems between couples. Both genders can cheat.
@@nightmareTomek bro get help
@@suk.489 no u
Liberal Christian! That is so beta. He is the leader not your subordinate. Where is the fine line
In relationships, small things if not attended to, can end up being the very things that will destroy the relationships from within. I ain't married yet, but my dad told me and my bros to clean the dishes and know how to cook otherwise we'd be in trouble. Do your part lads. Lead your homes with humility, and don't neglect the small things.
It’s basic life skills. It doesn’t seem basic at the time but EVERYONE should know how to care for themselves. If you care for yourself you can care for others. In relationships you should care for EACH OTHER as a show of love.
@@Mrs.CGraves exactly. To love is to serve not to serve ourselves. Whether it's the husband being the head of his home, he is at first and foremost a servant to his household and he must lead it with humility. The wife also without humility won't submit and support her significant other. To love is to serve, and that service is done in humility.
@@juniorkabana7776 so true. If practiced you have a home of PEACE.
I’m very traditional and have no problem being behind my Husband. We have joy, peace, prosperity, love and FUN in our home.
@@Mrs.CGraves keep at it. And may the Lord guide your path. Don't let the world or the modern culture destroy what has been set. Traditional marriages will still stand despite what the current culture says. Broken homes leave society scared. But we can break that cycle by doing better. And it starts now. And it starts in our homes.
@@juniorkabana7776 yes. We have been married 25yrs this year. I got married at 18, I raised 2 wives who are wives. People would comment how antiquated my child rearing was, but I was raising wives. I have a legacy and duty to uphold. I don’t care if it’s outdated. My Son in laws love and respect me because I value their marriage just as much as mine.
My Grandsons are being raised as Men, my Granddaughter (a newborn) will be a wife. It has to be done from birth. Our traditional roles designed for us bring more peaceful homes than what I’ve seen today in “modern” relationships. The “Modern Marriage” is so full of resentment and confusion, disappointment and dissatisfaction and ultimately divorce. Not all, but many.
80% of black children are born into Single Mother homes, and 75% of white children start off or end up in Single Mother homes. It’s devastating to children who then are not parented properly, fully invested into, and are unguided to adulthood. Our children are our jewels and our most important people in Society. I’m greatly saddened by the state of society because of 2/3 Generations of Fatherless homes. Fathers are the MOST important role in a child’s life.
Fathers provide protection, provision, stability, DISCIPLINE (from behavior and and self), and guidance. It’s quite dire. We can do better and it’s never too late to begin full investment into our children.
Another thing is God. We need to return to God as our Ultimate teacher.
Pearl has nothing to say that I find valuable as a grown married man.
Honestly there's nothing she could tell me that I would ever listen to. Wouldn't even burn the calories listen to her.
"I empathize with this girl she needs to stop."🤣🤣🤣 that took me out
She is doing that just for the $$$
I was blessed to have both sets of grandparents when I was younger. The one set, my grandfather was an alcoholic and abusive. My grandmother was a sad women until he passed away. My other set of grandparents had mutual respect and consideration. She worked hard and he worked hard. I remember her telling the story of how sick and exhausted she was after delivering one of her 8 children, and how he would wake up every three hours and bring the infant to breastfeed and the baby would nurse without waking grandma up.
Exactly, a man who isn't just sharing chores like an equal, (the "equal partners" mentality doesn't work) but who takes it upon himself to help his wife. She felt his love for her, as commanded by God upon him, and he did it from his heart. A man doing chores must come from the heart for his house and wife. "Sharing" chores as if they are divvied up is moronic and only leads to tally/score keeping. Appreciate and love your wife in deed not word only. Submit to and respect your husband in deed not in word only. It's right there in Scripture. Your grandfather had it right.
Thank you for sharing that recollection of your grandfather who obviously loved his wife and showed it by his actions. Very touching!
❤️❤️❤️
Was married and forced into singlehood after divorcing an unfaithful wife. The dating world at 33 is an absolute train wreck..
was she a good wife before she cheated?
It’s not a train wreck if you have high standards and strict boundaries. But it is harder as a single parent to date so I’ll give you that
@Oooooo divorce after adultery is childish?? That used to be given the death penalty my guy.
@Ooooooare you in their position? Did you know what that person been through? Did the person go in depth to explain what they experienced during their marriage? 🙄
@Oooooo whattttttttt ????? Ur kidding?
One of the most helpful things my now husband and I did in pre marital, is go over expectations of who fulfills what roles such as trash, dinner, dishes etc. Still 14 years later we remember our answers to those questions and were still doing most of them. We have also flexed those duties a bit as life has changed throughout the years. This is so important and is the physical expression of a partnership. And 💯 UNTRUE that my man doing dishes isn’t attractive 😂 Enjoy you guys and all you’re doing for the kingdom 🙏🏼
Premarital counseling is totally worth it, I have no idea why it isn't suggested more oftem
@@hemicardia935 I didn’t even know premarital counseling was a thing! That sounds interesting~
Sounds like a contract.
@@unc1221 no it sounds like a smart way to marry a person, you know will mesh well with you. You know things like this prevent divorced right? It's just discussing and talking about expectations. Nothing wrong with that.
For almost every study that says one thing you can find another study that says the complete opposite.
Yep especially about the rise of single and lonely men it's not just women. At some point men hit a wall too that is never talked about in social media as if men dont age as well.
@@queenred.6159 So true, most women of child bearing age are not interested in most older men.
Dude in the yellow glasses is HILARIOUS and pretty dang correct. If you married what you didn’t want…grieve it and then adapt. Yes 👏🏼
Clocked Pearl as less than an expert from the get go. No single girl is giving me the advice for my decade long marriage. I wish her well. Best wishes for her future endeavors. But, no honey, lol. Oh no..... I'm a SAHM in my 30's to a toddler. Gave up a career I loved as a staff accountant to provide sole care for our son. Husband sacrifices a lot to bear the responsibility to provide. THIS is the hardest most exhausting job I've ever had. I'm on call 24 hours a day. And I'm fixing to have to find a way to do it while pregnant. He blesses me by helping me out sometimes and I'm grateful. But he is banned from helping with laundry. He has shrunk his last cute sweater of mine!
On the topic of “divorce isn’t an option”: the scriptural standard for divorce is high; it’s basically infidelity and that’s it. That said, Pearl’s relative could have left her marriage and been scripturally in the clear, because her husband threw his vows out the window. I am genuinely amazed that she took him back.
The woman had to die for the husband to come crawling back. Disgusting
That story exist in her imagination only
Talk about God's love. He truly can heal anything if we let Him! God still loves us even though we commit adultery against Him ALL THE TIME.
@@Price8903 You trippin. My mom forgave her cheating husband and they got remarried.
@@JohnnySahn that’s good for your mother, but that doesn’t mean Pearly was stating an actual story
To everyone reading this. I know that relationships, marriage, and dating looks like it’s over in our modern world, and that it seems like everyone just wants to tear men and women apart. But just remember, marriage and sex for that matter still belong to God. God is going to win this fight. Period! 🙏
If she goes into a marriage with this mindset she’s going to be very unhappy. Poor girl.
She deserves whatever she gets
I swore Tim was like 30?!!!
23 years of marriage , wow!
He's 47.
Truthfully, women are opting out of marriage. They are not afraid to “die alone”. Women never die alone, the reverse is actually true. Women have communities and friend groups. Men benefit more from marriage and the stats show that.
This is true. I work in healthcare. More men die alone than women. Studies show that married men live longer.
I don't believe this is true, both elderly men and women report that loneliness as being a huge problem. I think generally speaking women are more sociable. But we all have to go back home, and for the most part friends or communities won't go back home with you, they'll go back home to their own kids, husbands or wives, people that will always take priority in their life over you. To me having a family is so good because I have people that are more important to me than anyone else and I know I am the most important person to my wife and kids. In a way it gives me purpose. We should stop trying to use loneliness as a weapon against the other gender. Both will suffer from it. If 45% of women are single by 2030 that also means at least 45% of men will be. And while you are right that men tend to benefit from marriage more according to studies, it's only by a few percentile, nothing to write home about. Everyone benefits from a happy marriage, with happy family and a legacy when they die.
Men are definitely dying alone too.
@@rebekahkingbello9560 Everyone's dying alone it seems. Men and women
Just landed on this channel. Loved hearing about marriage from actual married people. Being in a wonderful marriage myself, I can totally relate 😊 Hope single people realise to find relationship advice from happily married people ❤
Bingo! and bam 💥
🎤 drop
Ruslan needs an entire channel devoted to marriage advice because this is gold…
If you have so many household chores that keeping up with them is affecting both of you and your marriage, both of you need to sit and rethink your lifestyle. Take time to simplify your home, get rid of clutter, reorganize things and create routines, responsibility charts and systems to get it done.
In my household my husband makes 80% of the income. To do that, he has a 9 to 5, a business on the side and takes on teaching gigs. I make 20% of the income working when I feel like it, taking on short term projects.
We are very comfortable financially.
On the other side, I manage the home 80% of the time. I make it easy on me by automating everything I can, keeping a minimalist home, shopping and cooking in bulk and hiring help when I need it.
Neither of us is overworked or resentful of our roles. We are also flexible and ready to fill out holes when needed.
Wise words. Which is why I quit working 13 days in a row and now bring in about 10 percent of the income but do most of the household. So.Much. Better.
You have a good life.
Sounds fantastic people need to take note
Married woman for 8 years. Trust these guys when they say, knocking out those tasks reduces the stress and absolutely makes sex much more likely.
Absolutely what Aba says, when you do something for a girl, she will be thankful! And that often manifests as having the space freed up mentally to do those physical things.
i know you commented on this a few months ago but what about a girl (who i am currently seeing) says that acts of service does nothing for her. Like she feels nothing if you do anything for her?
Miss Pearl makes a lot of bold comments about relationships and marriage when she is in her late 20s unmarried and single...
Am I watching a video of 3 guys watching a video of two guys watching a video of a girl watching a video of a guy?...
UA-cam inception. I hate this meta lol
Lol...simple answer, yes
Took a minute for me to figure that out, as well. 😂🤯
😂😂
@@scarlettadiel5271 i was so confused at first hahaha 😂
🤣😂
Ooooo this was convicting. I hate doing housework and feel like im being emasculated when i have to do them. My wife will actually do then for me which is great but the one guy saying its because we lack the humility to serve is why i dont want to…That got me good. I think this is true about me. Really appreciating that.
If pride is keeping you from helping around the house then yes, it's a matter of humility. Your wife will not think less of you when she sees you taking it upon yourself to clean something you notice is dirty or if, on occasion, you ask her what she needs help with .
Simple logic really. The head of the household should be running the household, which includes chores.
@@nunyabizay9253 well no. the head of the house should be leading the house. there is a difference
@@124xhappeleshows I thank God you have a great husband. hope you both live a long a happy life together
@@neetshogun My wife's perspective on me is not my issue. It was the way I was feeling. I wasn't saying I don't help out, I actually do help. me and my wife have a system which we agree on so that whilst in my own shortcommings I feel a way I don't need to in some situations. This is why I said the things I actually hate doing my wife is happy to do and I take on other responsibilities. we have good enough communication to be able to talk about things we need from each.
My comment was simply about my emotions not about my actions, but better understanding my emotions from this video. I do believe will enable me to be an better husband.
As a single woman going to die alone with cats, it's not always sad. I'm staying single by choice because I can better serve the people I love. It's not sad to be single and live a good and fulfilling life in the service of others. Really liked the video! Glad I stumbled across your channel.
Then you are like Pearls following. What are you doing here on a video where they're bashing her?
@@nightmareTomek have you never heard of the Benedictines and Carmelites? Those single men who are brothers or monks are happy. The Benedictines of Mary are growing so full of young women just out of College. Gorgeous music, they topped the music charts.
Saints have said 1/3 are called to religious life. Those Virgins, man and female, fight the battles are prophecied in the 15th century by Our Lady of Good Success. They are the backbone of the Country. Families are the backbone of society. Without eachother, the greatest battles are lost.
That’s one of the Manosphere talking points and a tactic to scare women into being in relationships with men when they don’t want to. Studies show that single women are the happiest population group. Women also never die alone because outside of intimate relationships, women form close and healthy relationships with other family members and friends. Men use that line because marriage benefits them more.
@@happilydivorced3235 Except that women do want relationships. When they chase their high value men who says he doesn't want long term, she's thinking to herself "I'm gonna change him". I've heard dating advise books (for women) say that women sometimes love the relationship over the guy she has the relationship with, which isn't good for the relationship. And a few hundreds of thousands of years ago women most likely needed a relationship to survive.
The problem is probably that women exert control in the relationship (because they're afraid or they don't actually trust the men), but this makes them miserable, too. It also looks to me like women are in a bad mood on purpose to get things, which is a form of control, too.
@nightmareTomek
Not true at all. Pearls audience are a load of bitter, entitled 20 somethings who think they are owed a relationship under their terms. The majority of people who watch the likes of Pearl and Fresh & Fit are sad men, who are basically on the verge of being incels and get off on bashing women.
The person who posted this comment is entitled to an opinion on Pearl because even single people can see how ridiculous she's being.
There's nothing wrong with finding peace in your own company. It doesn't make you a failure. The problem with society now is it pressures you into needing to be with someone, and if you're not there must be a fault with you.
I really appreciate this content from you guys.
I'm single and turning age 23 soon.
Just got out of a relationships about a year ago where I made so many mistakes.
Got into red pill and yes it's helped me learn a few things but it doesn't beat actual Christian values that are all about love and reason.
I thank God very much for this type of content. It is always much needed
Yes! I agree with a lot of what the red pill has to say about modern day culture, but they are really lacking in Christian morals and values. A lot of them talk about making lots of money, being fit, and living your best life. Which is fine, nothing wrong with being rich and living your best life. But at the end of the day none of those things are going to be by your side on your death bed. It’s going to be your friends and family who love you and will be praying for you. I’m so thankful I married a man who cares more about his Christian morals and values/spending time with his family more then he cares about being a millionaire.
You probably made your ex gf miserable. I don't know any woman who had a red pill boyfriend that was ever happy.
@ChatswithTee🍵 ouch lol.
I wasn't red pill at the time but fair point
target 20s no children "dad" 2 parenthold (1st 7yrs min) these women will usually be nonwesterners😁
In just 8 minutes, Tim gave me faith in marriage.Julia is blessed to have him.
She’s my top manly man when it comes to Christian marriage advice. He’s so fine, witty, loving, sensitive and extremely intelligent. His wife is exactly that too. I love them and how they raise their boys.
You guys are totally right! Each marriage is different, and between me and my husband, he makes 60k and I stay home with our three kids for the time being, I’m also struggling with a chronic health problem. I do a lot of housework and cooking(to an OCD level my husband says), but he STILL helps me with housework, cooking, and kids..regardless of him working 55-60 hours a week. Being a SAHM is tiring in itself, I couldn’t imagine having to do it all and also work a full time job on top of it! Pearl can’t speak from loved experience, I really like some of the things she says, but she doesn’t really KNOW…every situation is different!
If your going to get married you need to be aligned on
MONEY: how you spend, budget, save, invest
KIDS: do you want them, education, values
RELIGION: do you practice, value system, core beliefs, shared values
EXPECTATIONS of EACH OTHER: what do you expect in year 1, 5, 10 etc of each other
If you don’t have these aligned and conversations prior to getting married DONT GET MARRIED.
I’ve been married 25 years, and I’m a traditional wife. It’s different today and chores just need to be done, it’s small potatoes.
Provision, protection, care of children, budget are most important.
Underrated comment.....😮
This is finally a podcast worth listening to regarding realtionship and the proper way to speak on them. You guys hit the nail on the head on topics that I've heard awful takes on. I feel bad for young men who waste their time listening to hateful and just plain dangerous talking points from other channels on UA-cam. You guys are doing great work here!
This guy knows what he is talking about. I wish every young adult could listen (and hear) him. Wow nailed it!
I'm a single female and just turned 41. This entire terrain of dating and single people.... the great godly men and women are hard to find! People are SO discouraged. And many other people I would consider solid Christians... talk like they've COMPLETELY given up on marriage and children. It's SO SAD.
Whew thank you for this video. Popular terms to sway thoughts “Data shows” and “let me look at this 30 year study”. There is data everywhere. Not all of it is accurate. Real life experiences teach you.
Not to mention the average person isn't good at analyzing data, these podcasts and social media are full of people misinterpreting data with their whole chests out and repeating falsehoods. There's a reason why data analysts and statisticians exist, we need people to interpret data appropriately and it's not a simple task
@@utamu777 Yes!… I have been collecting data for 8-10 years for my daytime career. There are so many aspects to data you have to dissect to get the full picture.
One of the best things my ex husband used to do was take my son to the barber shop. I despised going in there and being amongst all men....sometimes theyd stare or say things and make me uncomfortable. When he started taking my son it was a HUGE stress off of me. He didnt do much else..including chores(part of the reason we split) but it DOES make a difference to lend help where you can❤ women are not robots or superheros. We need help too❤❤ great discussion here ❤
Nothing lights the fire in my wife's heart like picking up the vacuum
Omg. Finally someone said it that there’s a whole population of women who have had less than 4 bodies. As an older woman I don’t know any of my friends who have slept around. Yes they’ve had premarital sex but ended up married to the same person. Several were virgins when they married and a few who got married as virgins their marriages failed. But they remained at their core women who honoured their bodies. I also know young women in their 20s and 30s who are the same way
I know someone already said this in the comments but, I am so glad to hear Christian married men with real experience speaking on this cookie cutter “how women and men should be in a relationship”. This video had me saying “YES!” and nodding immensely like every 30 seconds. Thank you for this video
I make less than 50,000 and my wife doesn't work. I live in a rural area it's not a sacrifice to me or her, but you gotta be willing to move out of the city. I'm not throwing shad just saying it's possible to have one income, and it be less than 50,000.
My husband makes about 35,000 a year and I am a stay at home mom of 2.. it’s doable!
@@michaiahs OK see now that's impressive. Where do you all live and how do you create a workable budget to survive?
Fully agree. Less than 50k, and we live In CA, in a million pop county, so to take it down a bit it can be done also within areas of sacrifice. We wanted to homeschool our children at a certain point so I layed my career down to do so. It came with a bit of sacrifice, but the gain was worth it. It can be done.
How do you invest for retirement or ensure that you are both financially stable long-term?
@fi-train8961 if you grow your own food, you save a lot of money. And I don't plan on the same salary forever it's just a sacrifice now. I would never suggest being at this level of income unless temporary.
“A truly good wife is the most precious treasure a man can find! Her husband depends on her, and she never lets him down. She is good to him every day of her life, and with her own hands she gladly makes clothes. She is like a sailing ship that brings food from across the sea. She gets up before daylight to prepare food for her family and for her servants. She knows how to buy land and how to plant a vineyard, and she always works hard. She knows when to buy or sell, and she stays busy until late at night. She spins her own cloth, and she helps the poor and the needy. Her family has warm clothing, and so she doesn't worry when it snows. She does her own sewing, and everything she wears is beautiful. Her husband is a well-known and respected leader in the city. She makes clothes to sell to the shop owners. She is strong and graceful, as well as cheerful about the future. Her words are sensible, and her advice is thoughtful. She takes good care of her family and is never lazy. Her children praise her, and with great pride her husband says, “There are many good women, but you are the best!” Charm can be deceiving, and beauty fades away, but a woman who honors the Lord deserves to be praised. Show her respect- praise her in public for what she has done.”
Proverbs 31:10-31
I'm embarrassed to even say I was in that Red Pill rabbit hole, I sort of picked up on how much they bash women and distanced myself 😅
yeah same, i slowly started hating being woman and over generalizing but i caught myself
@@eustacianarcis9269 Did you really start hating yourself because of what the red pill community say about women 😮, I'm intrigued by this, they almost brainwashed you.
Most red pill men are filled with misery. No happy man I know goes there it's always men that are missing something in life
Congratulations for being smart enough to spot delusion.
I appreciate this so much. I came across Pearl a couple of months ago and i really liked what she was saying in her shorts, watching her full length podcasts is when i started feeling that unrealistic aspect of what she was saying. Im newly married and nearing the end of my 1st pregnancy. Going into this marriage, me 21 my husband 28, i was making the most money. With both of us working and feeling that pressure to manage the household because i was the woman was something that was addressed immediately. To claim that you can "choose" to not be tired is RIDICULOUS. What shes trying to teach to young girls like me is dangerous and her standards are impossible, unrealistic, and unlived. No real world experience. Its like she wants women to be burned out and zombified
(7 min mark) You can tell that he's been married for 23 years. Because he knows a woman well! Very well versed. There is nothing that turns me on more than my husband helping out around the house. And NOT huffing and puffing about it. All my girlfriends will say the same thing. In fact, it's a constant part of our group texts. I know it doesn't sound sexy but that kind of consideration from your partner IS SEXY!!! I PROMISE!
Yassss girl! I agree!
👏🏻this video was one of the most intelligent discussions I’ve seen on This topic. I’ve always said that expectations is is one of the main reasons for failed relationships. People have this idea of what they want the relationship or there partner to be and then get upset when it doesn’t turn out that way. Communication is the key to a successful relationship and can prevent you from putting in time and effort into a relationship with someone that doesn’t line up with what you want.
I love that you pointed out that men and women are responsible for the problems with modern dating. The extreme feminist and extreme red pill rage, just want to blame the other gender and don’t present any logical resolutions.
Agree 100% with everything said! However, I feel like there was a missed opportunity here to discuss what the Biblical perspective on divorce is, and what does it mean to actually "love" your partner. I would have really enjoyed everyone's perspective on that. I've been married 12 years, and I was raised to believe that love is sacrificial, and you don't leave your spouse for any reason other than not being equally yoked, abused, or if there is an affair. So part of me gets what Pearly was trying to say, which is don't divorce over petty things (not to say that 1 person handling the bulk of labor in and outside of the home is petty). However, would it be acceptable with our understanding of scripture to divorce for such a reason? We are called to love our spouses unconditionally, and if we try to model Jesus, that means sacrificially. But how do we contend with that calling when only 1 person in the relationship is taking that seriously? Would really love a deeper conversation about this.
Yeah this would have been good
@C M you're right. More specifically if the unbelieving spouse chooses to separate, it is acceptable to God. I didn't mean to imply you can just leave your unbelieving spouse.
My man is the cleanest person I know. While I cook he cleans our house, better than I can. He also cooks better but I just insist on doing it for him most of the time, and man it turns me on. He works by the way. Sometimes i wake up to a clean house and he'd be like I couldn't sleep so I found something to do. He's the best partner, my helper as he puts it. I love him.
Thanks for this Ruslan! Would love it if you hosted a woman on the show to talk about marriage from a woman's perspective (especially around whether women can/can't have it all!).
I thought Tim Ross was going to say, “You can’t play call of duty, and expect All The Booty”. I would have fell over dead right then and there 😂😂😂
My Jamaican self sitting here wanting to be offended but knowing he told no lies! LOL
I've been saying it FOR YEARS..... uncommunicated expectations kills relationships. I had no empirical evidence, nor 20 years of providing therapy - more like 2 years of providing therapy. I've called BS on finances being the reason for divorce a looooong time ago.
I agree with pretty much everything they said. The only thing I would push back on a bit just for clarifications sake is that I don't think Pearl was talking about scenarios where the wife is working part time or full time and having to do all the chores. I think she was more so speaking to certain situations where the man is working full time and the stay at home wife isn't pulling her weight while the husband is out working. So in other words if the wife is just sitting at home lounging on the couch watching television and then the husband comes home to a dirty house and now has to take on her role after he just got home from an exhausting day.
Your reacting to Aba and Peach reacting to Pearl reacting to aba and peach react to Pearl😂....cant tell me im the only one who got that
I only disagree with one thing… the idea that single women are dying alone with cats. That is dependent upon whether they are in Christ. In Christ, single hood is an honor and a blessing.
Yeah, the idea that single women are automatically doomed to loneliness is actually unbiblical. Paul said it's better to be single, so how can some believe that God basically curses a woman for being unmarried? That's a sinful perspective. Yahweh loves all of his children and meet their needs, regardless of marital status
Watching 5 reactions inside one another has me feeling flabbergasted🤣
OMG... I was so tired of the red pill community on UA-cam. This channel is a breath of fresh air, like Aba and Preach.
Why do they only concentrate on single women? How many single men will there be? How many single men will die alone? The media and psychologists always only makes mention of single women.
So true!! Listening to men speak about women is tiring!!
First time viewer. I love this middle of the road dialogue acknowledging that there are crazy people both on the right and left. I hate when Pearl is reccomended on my feed because she wants to act like an authority on marriage when I have a husband and she does not. It's absolutely ridiculous.
As a married person, i have to say that saying your expectations out loud to your partner before marriage is very important, and same for continuing communication throughout the marriage.
I'm so glad actual married people are telling dumb dumb she is wrong .
Tim Ross did a marriage conference at my church in SC, and my gosh it was good. My husband was so receptive, and I got so much out of his sermon.
Dang. I'm mad I missed it. I would've traveled the state for it. 😮
If men are having less sex cuz they’re doing more chores, it’s because they’re exhausted 🤦🏽♀️
Funny how just pearly things who isn't married is giving advice against Preach who is very very happily married.
That's why she doesn't know that men helping out their wives is a big turn on for the wives
I really love how its men that are condemning her. I love this
And the men that are , are men that have gf or wives .. because they know everything she says is completely incorrect and also disrespectful to both genders.
She is making guys out to be a bunch of immoral cheats that disrespect women and should not value women and calling them out if they respect women, this is why the men are turning on her.
Only guys that like her will stay single.
There we good.. Finally some married man talking about this... THANK YOU ..
Ma shorts been bombarded on those pearly stuff bulsht
I so appreciate you guys deploring the “cookie cutter roles” thing touted frequently. God made each of us to be a beautiful and unique individual, and so each marriage is equally unique. Working out the roles between partners afresh and without cookie cutter expectations is very much of God. Thank you. ❤🎉😊
My husband is a over the road trucker. Everything is left on me until he comes home for a week. In that week he helps me around the house not because I make him but because he appreciates all I do and wants to show me his love through help. He is showing our kids how to show love through actions and not just saying I Love you. My Aunt gave me the best advice. When her and my uncle would get in an argument they would wash dishes so they didn't say something to one another they would regret. They had a blended family of 6 kids. 5 boys and 1 girl plus all the neighborhood kids. So dishes were never ending.
Taking relationship/marriage advice from people who have never really been in a relationship (and definitely have never been married) is like taking fitness advice from a 350lb guy chowing down on McDonald's who has never even seen a bench press. The sad reality of this social media age is it enables people who have absolutely no expertise nor experience to pretend to be gurus. Much of the RP community falls into that category.
I have a friend who got her PhD last year. She's never had a job and daddy still pays her rent/bills while she continues to study, job hunt, and work out. I work as a nanny. I recently had a conversation with her where I was explaining that your time, attention, and energy is finite. She disagreed. Her argument was manage your time better. I was mind blown to realize how out of touch and clueless she was.
😂❤ Love this channel. Married 21 years mother of 4 kids and always been a stay at home mom and i can say for sure this girl lives in delusional world i remember feeding the baby's while husband helped me with the house. Marriage is a partnership not a doctorship. Doesn't matter if both work or none work or 1 work it stays a partnership in marriage. No one is the same no matter what statistics say
"He can be stressed because he has to take care of the yard" sent meeee 😂😂
Tim: “I didn't have a job or car” Ruslan: “Man that's crazy”😂😂😂
I’m crying 😂😂😂😂
The mister clean Super Bowl commercial was one of the best and my husband cleaning the whole house is one of the sexiest things going. Just Pearly things literally sounds like a kid who doesn’t know what sex is explaining sex to an adult.
Pearl is as dangerous as it can get. Her entire platform is based on projection. She's in pain and requires immediate therapy.
The man in the glasses is speaking facts. Helping out around the house takes alot of weight of womens shoulders which creates a smoother night. ...
I agree with the guy (yellow frame on glasses) who says the people in the marriage or relationship should sit down and decide how to run their household, based on their pwrsonalities, skill sets, needs, goals / objectives and overall circumstances. I don't believe in a one-size-fits-all approach to relationships and life.
I don’t know if anything sums up this current culture better than a react video to a react video of someone’s reaction to your video. 🔥🔥🔥
A man doing housework is definitely a turn on...
I’m currently a nursing student, single mom of two amazing adopted children, if I had a choice to be a married woman and stay home to raise the kids I would do it… I love to keep house and have a garden but it’s hard to keep house while wearing a man’s pants it sucks! Lol 😂 Pearly has always been a horrible example to women. My nursing career is a passion and a financial freedom but it’s not a dream to work forever!
You sound like me😊. I am a student nurse too. I am 28 years old and still hoping for a godly man to marry.
Yes, I enjoy nursing but I am more family oriented than career oriented. I sometimes feel like I am filling up time while I wait on God for a husband.
Thank you for addressing this!!!
This is so much better than red pill content. Subscribed. ✅
I lived with my 4 siblings for more than 20years, had my sister as a roommate for 6 years, and ive been married to my husband for only 1 year, and i can swear it’s a lot to live with my siblings.
1. Ive known them all my life
2. I have no real financial responsibilities because our parents paid the bills
3. We mind our own business most of the time
4. We care for each other well beings, but we don’t have high expectations from each other.
5. I can’t choose to whom i share blood relations with, but i definitely can choose with who i share my life with.
So yeah, totally not the same. Friggin ridiculous to even compare the two with.
Forming a family is helping each other to make marriage work.
Its hilarious that she's an expert on something she never experienced herself. And only reference her own family and roommates. Its a BIG world sweetie🙄
I remember challenging my brother just to try to get him in trouble. If I did that in my marriage, I'd be called Amber Heard by my husband.
I’ve been married for 22y this August, together for 23 & we met when we were 15! I refuse to take marital advice from someone who is not married. I agree that it’s between the 2 people in the marriage that are or should be sure they’re choosing the right person for the right reasons! No one is perfect so let that picture perfect fantasy go!
Communication is always a must right from jump! Respect, Patience, & Appreciation for each other !