I'm at the point I want nothing to do with my parents anymore. They are literally the reason my life is in shambles and I can't forgive them because they will never apologize.
Tho they don’t deserve it honor them anyway. Why? Because GOD promises that HE WILL BLESS YOU WHEN YOU DO. It doesn’t mean being their punching bag, nor even spending time with them. Just forgive (for YOUR sake) honor them
It’s your responsibility to walk away. I know it’s difficult but you can’t expect apologies. It wouldn’t be genuine anyway, unless it comes naturally. Focus on healthier people and pour into yourself.
When I told mine he constantly criticizes me, he told me that I always criticize him. I asked how and he listed things I’ve told him that are issues in our relationship. I wasn’t criticizing him. I was just expressing myself to him. And I almost believed that it was my fault. 😒
i once had a 15 min conversation with a Narc, at the end i said "so what do you think?...he then said sorry mate i was miles away, what was you on about again? It's this sort of shit that really annoys me big style.
It depends how you frame that feedback or constructive criticism. For anyone who’s struggling with complex trauma. I definitely resonate with being triggered by criticism. Only gentle constructive criticism is received well.
@@FloppedASF what narssicistic traits u v had. Are you now aware of them? I m a victim of child abuse by my narssisstic father such caused me to develop severe BPD that led me to destroy my life.
@@newanas5271 i have BPD mother and NPD dad i was abandoned by him and neglected emotionally by both parents abandoned by dad and physically abused my my mother i have 9/9 NPD and 9/9 BPD criteria and also a lot of other stuff
@@newanas5271 i had severe social anxiety major depression eating disorder for my entire life conduct disorder and oppositional defiant disorder as a child ocd body dysmorphia avoidant personality disorder paranoid personality disorder antisocial and histrionic traits and disorganized attachment style I'm like in therapy for 7 years already
I have watched many videos on narcissism. Why is this so hard to understand and wrap my head around? I just don’t get what it is. Any suggestions to help me understand the concept?
We fear rejection. Criticism/feedback can be seen as rejection. If a person with NPD has created this false self in childhood that they’re perfect as a way to protect themselves, criticism/feedback can feel like a personal attack. Defense mechanisms counter that. Cluster b milkshake and The nameless narcissist share their thoughts in depth.
Coming from experience…Move forward and stop hyper-fixating on narcissism. Look at your own trauma and why you’re so obsessed with understanding them. Figure out what you’re struggling with. The root of the issue. Heal that.
so just to make a point/ ask question isn't this also what some borderline react like when they have narssaitic triats thou they are not a narssasit ... like when I'm in a bad insacure time and my partner or fam give me feed back on how i might be talking louder then normal if I'm insacure at the time ill tend to react as if they were criticising me instead of tkaig it as i should were there just reminding me to be mindful of my vocal volume... or when a partner says to a BPDer stop it no one hates you and the BPDer gts upset as if the person is calling them sesative listed of giving them feed back as insight ..... these are all the same triats right same reaction to critisisum though the borderline isent a narssasit right
Both of us fear rejection. Criticism can be rejection. If you reject me that means in my mind I’m ALL bad. If I’m all bad I don’t exist or I’m reminded of my childhood. When I tell you someone hates me and you say “Stop it No one hates you” Stop it means I’m not ok to feel from my own perspective. This is engulfment. “No one hates you” is denying my reality and invalidating my experience. Hope that is helpful.
@@sweet2sourr it has been the best in allowing me to not take thing as a rejection by not believing it means there telling me to not feel has nothing to do about saying don't feel its saying stop and remember you can selfsooth that's the trick to not view it as a negative cuz you didn't get the validation you wanted expecully when its the 20 time I've bugged about it ..... I've made such progress in my BPD by truly grasping and radically accepting we have a problem with needing external validation and vilifying people who don't validate/comfrt us when in high emotional states
Indeed. My experience is that they tend to respond to feedback by criticizing and blaming you for doing that.
Exactly, and then blame everyone else for their short comings. 🤘😬
I'm at the point I want nothing to do with my parents anymore. They are literally the reason my life is in shambles and I can't forgive them because they will never apologize.
Tho they don’t deserve it honor them anyway. Why? Because GOD promises that HE WILL BLESS YOU WHEN YOU DO. It doesn’t mean being their punching bag, nor even spending time with them. Just forgive (for YOUR sake) honor them
@@hawaiigirl8089 Um...
It’s your responsibility to walk away. I know it’s difficult but you can’t expect apologies. It wouldn’t be genuine anyway, unless it comes naturally. Focus on healthier people and pour into yourself.
thank you@@StreetcarDesire
When I told mine he constantly criticizes me, he told me that I always criticize him. I asked how and he listed things I’ve told him that are issues in our relationship. I wasn’t criticizing him. I was just expressing myself to him. And I almost believed that it was my fault. 😒
So true 👍
Beautiful, Thank you
I wonder why they don't want to sharpen up? Since they think they're so smart 🤓. Weird 😬
The whole not being “”stuck in the past”” is a pov thing and isn’t objective
i once had a 15 min conversation with a Narc, at the end i said "so what do you think?...he then said sorry mate i was miles away, what was you on about again? It's this sort of shit that really annoys me big style.
It depends how you frame that feedback or constructive criticism. For anyone who’s struggling with complex trauma. I definitely resonate with being triggered by criticism. Only gentle constructive criticism is received well.
You’re absolutely right and thank you for your comment.
Very helpful ❤
So how do you talk to them?
If they are not trying healing u can't really (I'm a diagnosed NPD and BPD)
@@FloppedASF what narssicistic traits u v had. Are you now aware of them? I m a victim of child abuse by my narssisstic father such caused me to develop severe BPD that led me to destroy my life.
@@newanas5271 i have BPD mother and NPD dad i was abandoned by him and neglected emotionally by both parents abandoned by dad and physically abused my my mother i have 9/9 NPD and 9/9 BPD criteria and also a lot of other stuff
@@newanas5271 i had severe social anxiety major depression eating disorder for my entire life conduct disorder and oppositional defiant disorder as a child ocd body dysmorphia avoidant personality disorder paranoid personality disorder antisocial and histrionic traits and disorganized attachment style I'm like in therapy for 7 years already
You don't. Waste of time
I have watched many videos on narcissism. Why is this so hard to understand and wrap my head around? I just don’t get what it is. Any suggestions to help me understand the concept?
We fear rejection. Criticism/feedback can be seen as rejection. If a person with NPD has created this false self in childhood that they’re perfect as a way to protect themselves, criticism/feedback can feel like a personal attack. Defense mechanisms counter that.
Cluster b milkshake and The nameless narcissist share their thoughts in depth.
Coming from experience…Move forward and stop hyper-fixating on narcissism. Look at your own trauma and why you’re so obsessed with understanding them. Figure out what you’re struggling with. The root of the issue. Heal that.
so just to make a point/ ask question isn't this also what some borderline react like when they have narssaitic triats thou they are not a narssasit ... like when I'm in a bad insacure time and my partner or fam give me feed back on how i might be talking louder then normal if I'm insacure at the time ill tend to react as if they were criticising me instead of tkaig it as i should were there just reminding me to be mindful of my vocal volume... or when a partner says to a BPDer stop it no one hates you and the BPDer gts upset as if the person is calling them sesative listed of giving them feed back as insight ..... these are all the same triats right same reaction to critisisum though the borderline isent a narssasit right
Both of us fear rejection. Criticism can be rejection. If you reject me that means in my mind I’m ALL bad. If I’m all bad I don’t exist or I’m reminded of my childhood.
When I tell you someone hates me and you say “Stop it No one hates you” Stop it means I’m not ok to feel from my own perspective. This is engulfment. “No one hates you” is denying my reality and invalidating my experience.
Hope that is helpful.
@@sweet2sourr it has been the best in allowing me to not take thing as a rejection by not believing it means there telling me to not feel has nothing to do about saying don't feel its saying stop and remember you can selfsooth that's the trick to not view it as a negative cuz you didn't get the validation you wanted expecully when its the 20 time I've bugged about it .....
I've made such progress in my BPD by truly grasping and radically accepting we have a problem with needing external validation and vilifying people who don't validate/comfrt us when in high emotional states
stop talking to hem, there's no point
100%
Thanks
Like borderlines....
Jooo 'swedish