Ugly Girls?
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- Опубліковано 5 лют 2025
- Father Josiah Trenham
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*Correction* “I mispoke. I mentioned Father Arsenie died in 1997, but I meant to say he died AT age 97, in 2011.” - Father Josiah
Call no man father.
@@PatristicNectarFilms Father, please read the comments here and see how young Orthodox men are regularly treating women. Please speak to this issue because I’m encountering horrible treatment regularly, not just here in UA-cam comments. And I’m not the only woman who is experiencing this insane treatment from young Orthodox men. There’s a reason all these guys are single, and it isn’t us women.
"The term "girlfriend" was first used in the 1850s, while the modern idea of dating developed in the early 20th century:
Girlfriend
The earliest known use of the term "girlfriend" was in 1859 in Harper's Magazine. The word was originally used to describe a close female friend, but by the late 1800s it also came to mean a romantic or sexual partner.
Boyfriend
The word "dating" entered the American language in the 1920s. Before that, courtship was a matter of family and community interest, but became a private matter for couples around the time of the American Civil War"
I was lucky enough to meet Father Papacioc in 2010, in Techirghiol. He already looked like an icon. There was a presence of peace and calmness around him, even though he was in great pain. He had an aura of serenity and wisdom. God bless him, may he rest in peace. It’s great that you talked about him. I will always cherish meeting you when you came to that conference in Romania a little while ago! ❤
@@PaperParadeI’m very sorry to hear that. Those men you are talking about are suffering and have forgotten their faith. Please believe me when I say, we are not all like that. ❤
“Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”
you can be both and age gracefully and serve the lord ...we have right to embellish ourselves has long has we don't see others has lesser
@@funnygaming2672 I literally quoted the Bible but go off
@@PaperParade We're Orthodox. We don't pull that crap here.
a person who is not exaggeratingly eating excessively large quantities of food can avoid abdominal distension or becoming overweight or having excessive adipose mass. a person who eats less than average will obviously have a slimmer waist. eating to tame hunger and prevent starvation, but not for gluttony or getting excessively full which is nauseating and makes physical work difficult after a heavy meal. excessive amounts of food are not optimal for physical and cognitive wellbeing.
@@spacegenewhat crap? spiritual virtues can be manifested physically. physical qualities can be consequences of spiritual qualities. weird that some religious people were obese and pretended to be ascetic while consuming more than some average persons of same height who were thinner and had no eating problems and considered that normal not "ascetic", or religious people who pretended to live in chastity after having many lustful experiences while some persons were virgin at that age.
It's almost hard to believe how immediately happier one can become when they stop using social media. For me it was a day and night difference.
It does help reduce stress levels when you put social media on the back burner.
Agreed! I got rid of it a few years ago and never looked back.
you are using social media right now.
@@escapegulag4317 Watching UA-cam and commenting on a video once and a while is much different than Facebook or Instagram.
@@escapegulag4317 UA-cam is mainly a video sharing platform and streaming service. It's social media features are not the main focus of the platform and as such they're quite limited, mostly to opinions.
Instagram's main focus is social interaction. Users have personal accounts where they're expected to post photos of themselves and share their life with others. People who seem more "interesting" get more popularity, as such it enforces the user to preoccupy themselves with their appearance and how others perceive it.
I’m celebrating 12 years of marriage today! My husband does make me feel beautiful. I am very blessed to have him.
Congratulations!!
Congratulations! 🎉❤😊
congrats!
I believe there is nothing more beautiful in a woman than piety, humility, and self-respect. Virtue beautifies a person from the inside out. This is what I’m teaching my daughters.
No you don't.
@@spacegene😮
@elenarda-i2x why are you being so hostile to everyone 💀 it's kind of ridiculous please take a deep breath
@@_m4r1ss4_9 You are the problem.
let us pray for young girls to realize that they are made beautiful in the eyes of god.
I told my son to date for marriage. He is engaged (25)and a catechist and going to be married in May 2025 God willing. Actually all of us our catechist including his future wife.
Prayers for your son and best wishes for your family.
@@loganblackwood2922thank you so much
"Dating for marriage" used to be called "courting". I think we need to bring back the term. Dating is secular and not godly.
@ruralsquirrel5158 good point. Haven't heard the word courting in over 40 years plus..
This is a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing and God bless you all.
This is a breath of fresh air. As a woman who was called ugly, I appreciate this video. I truly do.
You are beautiful sister ❣️
you are truly beautiful, indeed, the Lord has created you. We're equal at God's eyes. Blessings from catholic.
Even though I deleted all social media for this exact reason, I am still deeply troubled by the vanity of this world. You got me in tears. Thank you, Father. Please pray for me.
That's true, we are all trained by the secular world to be vain and seek out beauty through a predefined, judgemental lense. It's a hard sin to let go of.
I am aware it may be cliche, but I say, a book's cover can deceive the reader, better or for worse.
God helps to balance the scale towards the better.
Secular society, in my experience, is nothing to exclusively see value in, it's sad.
❤
Women also have the responsibility to respect women. That means not objectifying each other through social media and elsewhere.
Interesting point.
Why should anybody respect you?
@@aureliancosma3807 not really..it's not a secret that women are more judgemental of each other than guys will ever be
@@birbshid I suppose that's true actually...in general.
@gomertube
Man's lust created the problem. Stop sexualing and objectifying women and stop watching porn and it won't be a problem anyone. Fr. J even said this in the video.
That’s a fact, this is the reason i left instagram bc i noticed a tendency to compare myself to others & compete with their status. I didn’t like that so I stopped ❤ Praise God for that wisdom
That’s the entirety of society. Competition.
Kudos for recognizing the actual problem. May your humility bear fruit of wisdom
envy and arrogance, pride is not the fault of the beauty other females have, but rather a vicious tendency within yourselves
@@CunningOfReason instead of humanism, love & hope. 😕
I met my wife working in a nursing home, we were both CNAs taking care of the elderly initially i was captivated by her beauty but more than anything seeing how kind and loving she was to the patients and her incredible work ethic made me fall in love with her. i asked her to marry me two weeks after i met her and she said yes! Our friends and family were stunned and bewildered by this especially because we were 20 and 22 at the time people tired to convince us not to rush things but we couldn’t help it we have been married 5 years now and have a beautiful son who turns 4 next week. We do feel a bit out of place because everyone else our age are not married and dont have kids i see my friends looking at half naked women on social media some of them are our coworkers or other people we know and ive lovingly
rebuked this behavior but our society is so strange its funny that my wife and i with our family are the ones out of place we dont care to go out and drink or party. We just stay home except for school and work and its wonderful i dont wanna be anywhere else we laugh and play eat sleep, its a simple life but its so good.
Your life sounds so sweet. Are you both orthodox?
God commanded men to provide for a family. At 20 years old and working as a CNA you are unable to do this. No wonder you were impressed with you wife’s work ethic as you expect her to work and pay your bills. Poor woman
You are very blessed!
@@hautecouture2228what? Nothing he said even remotely implied he wants her to pay his bills. You only based it on the fact that he was a cna, but that doesnt correlate at all. If anything, him being a cna gives me the impression thats hes a service oriented person. he even mentioned going to school as well so i would guess that hes also hardworking.
@@hautecouture2228this is not a kind reply. You don’t know anything about their situation. You would do better to think more on your own weaknesses.
As a young man, I am definitely way more affected by the insanity of vanity than I should be, whoever read this please pray for me
Same here. It is utterly torture. It's just as bad if not worse in some respects. It must be a taste of what hell feels like.
Same here
Same let’s all be better
It's interesting that the men identifying with this pain recognize that the problem is their own vanity and the women (and Father, unfortunately) see the problem as something men are doing TO women.
If you pray for it, God will answer your prayers dear. It may take a while, but one day things will change and it’ll be God answering your prayer. Pray without ceasing ❤️your head is in the right place.
I am 32, still single and childless, please pray that the right man comes along 🥺🙏🏼
The men I've dated in the past have been liars who have tricked me into sin. Got off birth control and I'm now two years celibate, came back to Christ and I'm currently diving deeper into the faith ❤
Sis, be careful to make your self so vonrable online there are some nasty men online who would be really nasty to you about what you’ve shared ❤️ please protect yourself & share this information with people who love you
@@spacegene they did trick me, by making promises they clearly never intended to keep, lovebombing me etc, and I was easily tricked as an atheist with low self-esteem. So yeah, they did.
@@CamillaVikaHgemark Nah, that's not what happened.
@@spacegene so you were there? 😂
@@CamillaVikaHgemark Didn't need to be. Your dishonesty conforms to a cliche pattern that I detected immediately.
"Man is motivated to work, to win battles, to solve his issues by knowing that at home he finds real love. This bond is a great mystery that imprints joy in their souls."
I love how monks speak. With no filter, they say that which many of us feel but dare not admit out of not wanting to feel weak or vulnerable.
Both men and women need to know that at home they find real love. Both find strength in that. Not just men.
@@wlf7184Exactly!
Social media has dating at my age (25) pretty much impossible due to people thinking flaws equals complete incompatibility. Everyone wants to settle for absolute perfection. Dates and meeting new people feels like a job interview rather than a casual or engaging conversation. There’s a sense of the grass always greener somewhere else and if they can find someone with 80% of the things they look for in a relationship, why stop there, why not keep looking for someone who has 100%? Love is not finding someone who is flawless, it’s being with someone despite their flaws.
and that's why you started to do steroids?
@@genautelevishn5999you have proof he used steroids?
@@genautelevishn5999 He looks natural to me. lol
Don't say dumb shit like that for no reason. Also hey fellow warhammer enjoyer.
Amen to that brother, it sucks😭
I see that too but to much of dating was only letting the feelings take over which is part of the reason why so many relationships failed. There should be asking hard questions and we should be okay with that. It might be easier if you get with someone who's in the same religion a you cus you'd assume you'd agree on all or most of the important things but you'd be surprised how little many people know of their faith they claim to follow.
We often swing to extreme ends. I didn't think we should expect perfection or anything near it, but if faith is important to you, which I believe it should be for everyone obviously, make sure who your dating is on the same page.
I noticed that I was looking in the mirrors around my house very often, and always finding that I look bad in some way: too pale, too sad, too old, too ugly, skin too bland, eyelids too low, etc, etc...and one day, I decided to cover them, except the one at the entryway. My whole life changed. I was not obsesed anymore about how bad I look....because it was not even the truth...I look normal. I am fine. A normal human being. It just changed my life, I feel like before, I gave the right to the devil to mock me, because I was soooo keen of MY LOOKS
Reduce the number of mirrors in your house, or remove them altogether. This is how you stop worrying about your appearance.
Ditto! ❤
I’m going to stop obsessing over my looks.
Focusing on the beauty in my own relationship with The Lord.
@@bri8872 very interesting! It's true!
I try my best to see the light and love of Mother Mary in the eyes of every woman I meet.
This video was a breath of fresh air. Thank you so much father for speaking on this subject.
Indeed!
I am from Romania, and have been watching your videos for some time.
I can't believe you brought up our Romanian Arsene Priest for this subject that I relate to so much, and agree with 100%.
🙏 ❤
I have much respect for the Romanian spirit. You carry Orthodoxy close to your culture and spirit. I would love a day where the term Orthodoxy is gone, because it's just the norm for Christians.
I really enjoyed this talk thank you. My daughter's names are all flowers so I'll enjoy sharing this wisdom when she gets older.
As a woman, there is something comforting and secure when there is a man who respects many women and admires their beauty within at all ages.
Say no to alcohol all unless it's for medical purposes.
Thank you father, the timing could not be more perfect for this sermon. im a young woman who has recently been severely relapsing in my eating disorder and overtaken by despair and vanity, but I know God needed me to hear this. Please pray for me, i know Christ and His mother must be in anguish seeing me despise His work, but its so hard to stop. may Christ have mercy on me
Is it really a disorder or is it your nature telling you to stop eating garbage
eat primarily meat and only fruits that are in season locally where you live
herbs and vegetables are medicinal and should only be consumed when necessary
oils do not exist in nature, same for snacks and other manufactured "foods"
you're sick because your body is
the pills you take and the food you eat do not exist in nature
@@genautelevishn5999 verify detailed nutritional data charts for each edible plant product and notice that most of those at calorie proportion contain adequate quantities of essential nutrients more than enough in some. B12 was left unverified or unlisted by some laboratories, but for yellow kiwi at 2000kcal ratio contained almost 2mcg of B12 was mentioned in USDA database reports, but i am quoting from memory so don't remember precisely. some years ago i read about some researchers from 20th century who studied quantities of bioavailable cobalamin B12 and found approximately 2mcg in 2 liters of wild springwater and up to 4mcg in a few ounces of whole grains depending on how much was produced by bacteria. prokaryotic microorganisms capable of producing cobalamin occur on soil, plants, water, animal and human microbiome etc. phytomicrobiome is epispheric and endospheric. some species of algae contained bioavailable cobalamin B12 inside produced by bacteria which symbiotically resided in the vascular systems of those plants. not a surprising fact since in some cases plants could rot from interior with no intervention from external surface. at Graz University of Austria some researchers compared microbiome proportion in organic and conventionally treated apples; organic had healthier microbiome with more probiotic species on external surface and inside at the core of it even more - dozens of millions population, meanwhile conventionally cultivated sorts had more E. Coli and other potentially pathogenic microbes and less healthier microbial profile.
calciferol hormone, so-called vitamin D, is produced after exposure to sunlight and is better that way since the body could adjust to stop to avoid overdose and toxicity if it reaches a less tolerable limit, the active forms in supplements and animal products (especially organs, such as liver, which contain greater quantities of retinol and calciferol and is not recommended for some people to consume) could increase risk of consuming excessive quantities and suffer toxicity. vitamin D toxicity could potentially induce neurological damage, kidney disease, heart palpitations, arrhythmias, cardiovascular disease and stiffness, solidified clots increasing risk of congestive heart failure and stroke, exaggerated hardening and keratinization of (softer) tissues in organs and muscles and tendons, skin damage etc. people who develop skin problems might not have optimal function in those tissues anymore and their sensitivity to sunlight might change. excessive retinol could increase risk of fibrosis, not only internally but also in the skin. equivalent precursors of vitamin A from plants (carotenoids, lycopene, zeaxanthin) are safer in the sense that the human body could adjust how much to use of those for producing adequate quantities of active forms and prevent converting excessive amounts to avoid toxicity. heme iron bypasses physical autoregulation biomechanisms which prevent excessive assimilation therefore entering into the bloodstream regardless of how much the body requires, so people with hemochromatosis are not advised to consume it. some people though treated anaemia using a plantbased diet since many plant products per calorie ratio contain more total iron than some types of meat, such as chicken which has less quantities. raw eggs contain avidin which acts as an antinutrient preventing assimilation of B6
another extremely dangerous practice among animalbased folks was the obsession about electrolytes. whole foods naturally contain adequate quantities of sodium and chlorine, not necessary to vaporise seawater for sea salt or dig in saltmines for rock salt. Dr. Joel Kahn in an article some years ago mentioned an adult human body does not require more than a few hundreds of milligrams of sodium to function normally. Dr. James DiNicolantonio who apparently studied cardiology and worked as an emergency care assistant had a sponsorship from Redmond, in a UA-cam interview with Dr. Ken Berry he claimed that consuming 15g of salt daily is safe and even suggested drinking saltwater consisting of 5g of salt and 500ml of water, besides that he scared people by saying sugar is more dangerous than salt despite the fact that sugar is completely safe in quantities at which salt would be deadly. Dr. DiNicolantonio advised kidney patients to increase their salt intake to decrease aldosterone ignoring that would disrupt normal potassium excretion and would worsen their health in general. Joseph Everett who managed the What I've Learned page on UA-cam claimed up to 40g of salt daily is safe, despite some data collected from medical reports of patients which fell into coma at such doses. NaCl+H2O=NaOH(caustic soda/sodium hydroxide)+HCl(hydrochloric acid) increasing risks of stomach cancer, irritations and ulcers, gastrointestinal perforations and ruptures, edema, dehydration, kidney disease, neurological problems and nerve damage, thyroid issues, abnormal blood pressure, arrhythmias, congestive heart failure, bone deformities etc.
humans are not marine animals and even those thrive in lakes or pools with potable water with less salt content, but even those species would die at excessive amounts which is what happened at Dead Sea in middle east. lions can produce ascorbic acid and uricase to digest uric acid from meat, humans lack such abilities so they get vitamin C from plants to prevent scurvy which some people suffered during animalbased diets avoiding plant consumption. oxalates was another obsession, i read even the human body could produce oxalates to excrete certain compounds as waste products.
@@bri8872 i got triggered, my parents were obese, i was not anorexic but they used that word as a slur against me because i was thinner and they envied that and punished me by stuffing me with food until i was vomiting
Rewatched this again today. Thank you Father for putting this video together, so applicable to both women and men and how we view each other
Thank you for being a role model for me. A strong leader like you is needed and i want to be just like you when i grow up. God bless ❤
As an orthodox Christian, I have been struggling with this topic especially, and I thank you so much for your words. This helped me greatly and I have been considering removing social media for awhile now. Thank you Father and God bless you. God bless any man or woman who comes across this video, you are loved and you are uniquely made ❤️
No one is ugly. I deleted Instagram and my self confidence has sky rocketed. It used to be fun, now it's just toxic. Also God made me so I'm most definitely not ugly.
Correct 💕
Social media is not good for any boy or girl under the age of 18. I see my nieces & nephews messed up by it. Adults even have problems with it as well. Thank you for addressing it.☦️
It's not good for any boy or girl over the age of 18. Social media is a distortion of reality and our reality is already that of a fallen world. The digitisation of our world is awful unvarnished human nature.
its really bad even with older people in my country- some therapists are tell people to delete accounts, some schools have banned phones
I would like to comment that before social media it was damaging teenage mazagines, movies, marketing (models). All of this to manipulate. The evil one always working in every generation. God have Mercy..
Magazines? Kids still read magazines? Only half kidding. I remember seeing the garbage marketed to teen girls years ago. Disgusting stuff.
Women are incredibly susceptible to "beauty magazines" and social/peer pressure. Women do this to each other as a form of social jockeying and status seeking. This needs to be addressed. Young women should be seeking out godly womanly virtues, and finding a good husband who will protect her from this evil.
@ruralsquirrel5158 That's why women need good role models.. So women step up..
Oh mine, straight forward, simple, not one word waisted. Wish someone told me this when I was a teen, but this is Gods plan, now I can pass this very timely message to my teen Sunday school class. Thank you so much for doing this video . 🙏🙏🙏
I’m a young man,27. I too have fallen into this. I stopped lifting weights this years pretty much right when I found Christ. Of course there’s unlimited health benefits, but I would spend 2.5 + hrs in the gym everyday. It was idolatry. After giving it up and letting my body come to its natural state, I have gotten over a lot of this “need” to appear a certain way. I mean the amount of effort I would put in to being jacked was preposterous and in vain. Guess what? My life is way better since.
We need to be strong for our families, but we also need to recognize when that is not our goal and it’s something demonic.
2.5 hours a day, every day? 50 minutes is enough.
Too much weight lifting is not just vain, it is a waste of time and not natural. Besides, it also spikes your testosterone and causes your libido to go through the roof. Unless you are married and trying to have children, this is a horrible state to be in as a single man.
What if you enjoy the process of working out?☺️
@@Seanison70 it must be enjoyed for the correct reasons. Hence why I stopped, I enjoyed it for vain reasons. Like I said there are unlimited health benefits. But we must be honest with ourselves as to our true motivation and for me it was humble reasons.
@@Inevitable-Infarct that makes sense! I can definitely identify with that, my reasons for starting working out being the same as you, but as the years have gone by I really train for enjoyment + health benefits now! Thanks for clearing that up
This video was real powerful for me. I am not young but things don’t really change between men and women.
I am only back in the church x months. Still at infant level from a spiritual standpoint.
Oh boy this is meant for me I know it already
Thank you so much Father ❤
It’s just difficult I had an Ex that was attracted to that and addicted to that stuff and it caused me to get pretty anxious. Then I go online a lot and see a lot of super skinny women who have almost no flaws (except in personality sometimes lol) but it’s definitely draining and I can feel very insecure. I’m learning to be healthy and in general be better. It’s hard though I’ve considered surgery because I dislike myself. Please pray for me
Don't get surgery young lady,you don't need it,your perfect and made in perfection because God is perfect.
Pray hard for a Godly husband who will adore you.
Brotherly love from an old Aussie Orthodox Christian,who lives in the bush😊 ☦️🇦🇺
Surgery? If you're even considering surgery, you believe on some level you're capably attractive enough to be "fixed" so you're definitely not hideously scared. I'll share with you a story about a girl I knew, she was beautiful, she was absolutely convinced people stared at her because her nose was crooked. She eventually got a rhinoplasty. At some point I forgot how she looked prior to that, but I still think/feel like she obsessed, spent a fortune to correct something that wasn't even a flaw. It was in her mind. People stared afterwards. She wasted money and fixated on the idea of imperfection. We are all imperfect. It is vanity, stupidity and pride which makes us susceptible to the idea we can fix ourselves with enough money. Do not fall in to this trap. *You* as a person is your value, your soul. I'm an ugly looking guy, valueless from a physical perspective, but am I just that? If your gut response is no, apply that logic to yourself. If your gut response is yes, remember beauty is fleeting, we all age, even the most beautiful of us, to where we aren't. We are a summation of what is Godly, they're not things put on posters but they're way more valuable. Whether people recognise it or not is neither here nor there. But even if the surgeries made you beautiful, the response from people would not be embracing *you* as a person, it would be embracing the appearance you have. You're not what you look like. Perhaps you have to be ugly like me to know that.
Don't get surgery or anything of the sort. Don't listen to this voice. The only reason for this desire is to please and conform to standards created by lost and troubled men who are like your ex - addicted and in desperate need for Christ. Sometimes I feel like I have to look a certain way but constantly I'm reminded why we must have our beauty cultivated by a soft heart in Christ. God bless ❤️
@@M34doww don’t get surgery just be healthy. If self improvement is needed then go do that in a healthy way. Do not do anything dangerous or unGodly. There now have a good day :)
Give yourself a year, go to the gym & get closer to God you will start glowing like never before. Dont reach for quick fixes, they’re detrimental. The key is give yourself TIME.
We thank you, Father Josiah, for making the wise teachings of Father Arsenie Papacioc known to the whole world! May God bless you and everyone believing in Him!
Dating should be only for the intention of marriage. You are not planning to marry then don't waste precious time, feelings and emotions juat to gratifie your selfish desires, one day when you are old and gray you will regret that.
Good points there, well siad.
I agree men were made to chase not the other way around.
I really love your content. Thank you for your words and support to us.
ХРИСТОС ВОСКРЕСЕ ✝❤️
БОГ С НАМИ ПРОТИВ ЗЛА И ИСКУШЕНИЙ ✝🙏⛪🕊💪
I have been a victim of the plastic surgery industry. I develop a chronic pain after I removed my implants. Bring so much pain to my life. I feel sorry for the culture that we’re leaving in and hopefully things can slowly change. Life is so much more valuable than, what humans are seeking. We lose our health and our precious time in things that do not matter.
No, you're not a victim of the plastic surgery industry. You got an invasive and unnecessary surgery and regretted it.
@@spacegene that can be also true. You don’t get to decide to I feel though. Women trust the FDA and are victims of it.
@@marcelawestberry6071 They trust the FDA because they won't be bothered to think for themselves or analyze risks. The consequences of doing so are founded on female laziness and easily avoided with due diligence.
@@spacegene i agree you are so smart
@@marcelawestberry6071 It's good that you agree with me. I encourage you to make a habit of it.
I wish I had this advice growing up…
Bless you father Tehran 🙏🏻 I wish i would have had a spiritual father like you when i was an adolescent dealing with these exact issues.
God Bless you and your family 🙏🏻
I would never have found Orthodox Christianity ☦️ without UA-cam let’s be real here.
This stuff was always around. I was suicidal as a kid for being so detestable late 90’s through 2005. Thankfully I came through okay thanks be to God.
Thank you Father Josiah 🕊️
Many greetings to Father Josiah from a Serbian living in Sweden! It would be interesting to see a video of your view on daily routines and exersice and if you recommend certain things to do for a healthy physical life based on a monastic/orthodox lifestyle.
Thank you father 😀
The story you told about the *ugly girl* really resonated with me.
Fr. Arsenie Papacioc past away on 9th of July 2011. A meet him and I was present at his funerals!
Yes, this is why I did not have my first boyfriend until I was 18. It just ended recently and I am heartbroken, but I waited till I was mature and ready to get married.
I relate to you this same thing happened to me.
"It just ended" = "You ended it but won't accept responsibility for it"
And you call yourself 'mature'!
@elenarda-i2x What is your problem? You're all over the comments acting like a "red pill" incel. Get a life, let others live theirs.
@@mutahmarriagecounselor2272 If you people were capable of sincerity, I'd be a lot nicer.
@@spacegene Stop being so pathetic
Now this video came for me , thank u very much father ❤🙏🏽
Greatly edifying as always, Father Trenham! God be with You!
True and the converse is true aswell.
Father Arsenie Papacioc's sensitivity and grace touched so many people's heart even after his departure. I can testify! I have never met him in person, but his love that was passed on to his disciple, nourished me and gave me so much hope in times of need. I hold him close to my heart, and his framed smiling photo is what we have close to his to-be-painted icon, because I do believe he is a saint. I hope his words will caress many more hearts all over the world! 🧡
Oh, my life was so opposite.. dear Lord Have Mercy.. So carnal.. so spiritually stupid.
Utterly necessary content for not only our youth, but those like myself that are middle aged and still single.
Thank you Father for being a vessel for God's messages to come through... for those of us that love Him, and are at times, on the brink of despair. Yet God always shows up. GLORY TO GOD!
LORD HAVE MERCY.
The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt should be required reading for all teachers, parents, and caregivers. It's from an atheist secular social psychology perspective but the recommendations and observations are very powerful.
No tv.. no internet for kids.. pray
Thank you so much for this, Father! :)
Thank you, I really needed to hear this today ❤
Very well said! God bless you ❤
Thank you for all you do ❤
So incredibly awesome…
Beautiful words from fr. Arseniy.
Excellent subject father! God bless you. Την ευχή σου
Very fine touch on this one Fr. Josiah. You have no idea how you stroke that chord :)))
I didn’t know at the time, but my first step towards Christ was deleting social media. This occured months before I began taking Orthodoxy seriously. I lost absolutely nothing when I left the social media world. Highly recommend to anyone. Thank you, Father. ❤️☦️
Amazing video, thank you ! God bless
Aww bless you thanks so much for this 💖 beautiful praise God ❤🎉
Wear your cross out of the open and be constantly aware that God is watching. Be kind and the beauty of Christ will make you GORGEOUS.🥰
The fact that we perceive someone as ugly is because we’re ugly on the inside.
You perceive someone as ugly because they have a genetic configuration that triggers the disgust response in your brain. You're not "ugly on the inside" for feeling that way, how ridiculous
very true.
ugliness is nature telling us that the person is unhealthy and infertile
please do not confound man made concepts like ugly on the inside with nature's perfection
@@genautelevishn5999 depends what you consider ugly, each person considers things differently depending on their comprehension and mentality or amount of knowledge. standards could vary or change
@@genautelevishn5999 Even that we can overcome with a pure heart. May God fix our hearts because to Him everything is possible.
Dating is based on how you can present on social media. If you don't look good in pictures you are basically cast aside. It took a long time for me to understand it but now that I do, I'm at peace.
We all should go out in the world and tell young people to avoid things on social media that cause them to feel negative about themselves and encourage them to open up and talk to certain people of a good Bible based church. Another thing to note is men are having a tough time too, many women over the past 10 years or so have referred to working class men who don’t make large quantities of wealth as scrubs and that they have 0 use for those men, some of those men are police, firemen,military personnel and sanitation workers.
I guess I don’t understand why so many parents allow their young children on social media.
Because it shuts them up for a while. Case closed.
At this point, it’s gotten hard to find any marriageable single Christian woman: ugly, pretty or otherwise.
There are no ugly women.
@@LejlaSurlan Begone troll
Most women are ugly
@@TitusCastiglione1503 May God forgive you & bless you.
@@LejlaSurlan …how am I to be forgiven for merely speaking the truth?
Uau, thank you for this beautiful reflection!
Dostoevsky had a really good quote about how there are no ugly women
Beautiful word x
I respect you very much Father. In a country where 70% are overweight and 40% suffer from obesity. And many women have darkened their light through immoral “friendships” with the opposite sex. It’s difficult not to see “ugliness” where ever we go.
The body is a temple for Christ
The ugliness you speak of is society. Be shade for her and see what beauty she poses, no longer beat down by the words of society.
It a woman’s weight if one of your primary concerns, don’t get married.
@@PaperParade Can it be a secondary concern? :)
@@ElonMuskrat-my8jy sure but its ridiculous for men to expect women to pop out kids and still be a skinny model afterwards...
Everybody ignore the "my life is great and I make thousands of $$ a week" comments promoting some advisor or coach, they target conservative videos to shill nonsense
Father, would you mind creating a video about how women/girls can respect & honor men, to see them through God's eyes as you encourage men to do with women in this video? thanks :)
Thank You...❤
Thank you fayher
I am 38 and I lost my years in attempts to create a family with the wrong people, BUT also with having lovers (boyfriends), and now I deeply regret that I lost my years in that.
Yes, I did not know ❤
@@stelalozanova1464 same here! The culture/society is sick, I believe it has a lot to do with a lack of faith, and it has stolen years off our lives. I have learned from my past mistakes (hopefully it's not too late) but that's life I guess, we're supposed to be learning and improving throughout our lives. Nobody can be perfect, that's impossible. Only Christ is perfect and without sin. Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on us sinners ❤️🙏🏼
Ladies, be honest: Are men really out there calling you ugly? Or is that how you experience lack of attention?
*That* is the psychological damage of social media for women. Social media is not an environment defined by men slamming less attractive women. It's an environment of watching the 1-in-a-1000 type most attractive women seeking and getting all the attention. It's maddening. Men watching all the girls ignore them and flock around the tall, rich, charismatic guy is a similarly maddening experience for us but, thankfully, that's largely not our experience on socials.
With exceptions of course. Note the comments here from young men who DO identify with the female social media pain. They're talking about the insecurity and anger they felt and how they would obsessively work out, etc, to make themselves more attractive. But note well: they recognize that the problem was their own vanity and repented of it! You can do the same! You're not a 1-in-a-thousand beauty? So what! Who cares?! Stop playing that game!!! You're almost certainly not BEAUTIFUL, but you ARE beautiful. Only vanity makes you want to compete with other women to turn every head. Find the one head to turn (and make sure you're not thinking he has to be the 1-in-a-thousand man). Then turn that head and marry him. He will think you're beautiful and he will love you. I promise.
Before social media even existed for me, I was told right to my face that I was ugly(in junior high). I look very different today and receive a lot of compliments on my appearance, which is nice, but those earlier stupid, hurtful comments stick with me to this day.
@@daphnepearce9411 I'm sorry to hear that. I was a late bloomer myself so understand very well how cutting the cruel rejection of the opposite sex can be at that age. Do you think, though, that that experience is like what so many young women are experiencing now online that's driving them mad?
I was called ugly, barked at, and generally harrased daily during junior high. The damage was severe and it does produce a later sensitivity to males looking at you and sniggering -- you know you're a reject. Somehow the Lord found me, rescued me, and spent years repairing the damage. Social media is just another medium for a very old wicked behavior.
As a female, unwanted comments do come about appearance from a young age. Obviously not all men are the same or all women.
It is Satan who is the ultimate cause of this sad situation, playing us off against each other.
@rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr1 Perhaps? Maybe? I dunno. I see some young single women in my parish, all very tech savvy and sophisticated, still glance at the young single guys, looking almost kind of sad, like they're thinking "what's wrong with me??"
I'm retired at 47, went from Grass to Grace. This video here reminds me of my transformation from a nobody to good home, honest husband, $35k biweekly and a good daughter full of love ❤️
I'm feeling really motivated.
Could you share some details about the bi-weekly topic you brought up?
Yeah sounds impossible, yet with Christina Ann Tucker, I've come to the conclusion that financially anything is possible. I got my self my dream car 🚗 just last weekend and a whooping $320k in savings already, My journey with her started after my best friend came back from New York and saw me suffering in debt then told me about her and how to change my life through her. Christina A. Tucker is the kind of person one needs in his or her life! I got a home, a good husband, and a beautiful daughter. Note!:: this is not a promotion but me trying to make a point that no matter what happens, always have faith and keep living!!
Wow 😱 I know her too!
Miss Christina Ann Tucker is a remarkable individual whom has brought immense positivity and inspiration into my life.
I got started with a miserly $1500. The results have been mind blowing I must say TBH!!
Social media has really manipulated women in just being able to be themselves, as God made us. I've never dated using apps and I refuse botix etc. I do recommend the gym and authentic life. Beautiful words father.
What do you mean just being themselves? My experience of women on social media is them being vapid, shallow, mean spirited, jealous, hyper emotional, misandric and generally quite cruel. That's not my day to day experience of women, thank God for that. But if social media has allowed women to act how they are, I'm not thrilled to hear.
@@loganblackwood2922Social media appears to bring out the worst in some people (men and women).
@@Lovely-DeeM We can be who we truly are on social media
To miss St John Paul II THEOLOGY OF THE BODY is to miss perhaps the best remedy for the tragic negative body image of today. As an adult i went to confession regarding my self disdain over my body image. The young priest was so tenderhearted and affirming as if straight from the theology of the late great Pope. I have been about 80 % improved since then with time. I am eternally grateful. … also good advice Father for not dating for no reason!
I'm looking forward to Part 2 of this video, "Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands," and so forth. 👍
Meat is for the mature. If you can't accept this video, marriage is not remotely an imminent concern for you
This would only apply to orthodox people. If a man goes into the world with this mentality outside of orthodoxy he would be chewed up, spit out, used and laughed at. But maybe some of us need that for our souls.. I agree this is ideal..but Fr we live in a not so. Id like to hear a longer lecture on this and further thoughts from young men themselves and what they are up against in the modern dating world. I think some holy men though correct sometimes don't fully grasp the troubles of modern society especially when it comes to the struggles of young men and the modern dating market. Many priest are stuck in their time of dating and the world and mentality of many women are far different than even let's say 25 years ago.
❤
Father's advice is true for anyone. Orthodox people find it easier to follow because we have the sacraments and the elders. But sleeping around and being obsessed with looks and likes and sex is shallow and destructive for all people.
You are correct mate. As a 30 yo orthodox man I can attest that “dating” which is just a modern thing is tough. In my experience the churches are I’ll equipped and miss informed. As many play into the secular feminized society. In a parish I attended regularly there was a big gap of women in the suitable desirable marriage age range of 18-24. As soon as they turned 18 they rushed off to college to do the secular plans. Then come back to the church 25+. Then still maybe not so serious about finding a match. When they come back solid orthodox men have to contend with the secular man whom embody the fake masculinity which this society pushes. And many orthodox men are solid whom I know with good professions. I’m not judging these women nor stating that orthodox men have first claims on them like ownership. But I’ve just seen a failure of the church and fathers in pairing off people within the community. The priests and fathers give typical advice which is cliche. Meaning the man has to try even harder and “man up.” Orthodox men understand that working is a god given burden to us. But our male ancestors throughout the ages were more easily able to secure commitment from women within the desirable range. Unfortunately many aren’t able to say these truths as the realm is too scared to offend females since it’s a post f - ist realm. These are my observations and I speak for the young men in my parish whom would confirm this. Men want fit, friendly, fertile, and feminine women. It’s that simple.
@@CenturionTheodore In my experience the convert orthodox young men make it hard to exist around them as a woman. They act very uncomfortable, or seem to want to avoid interacting with you at all. They don't like to make conversation with women, and you can even overhear them chatting together and making negative comments about women. They really focus on what women are supposed to be doing around them, there is not nearly as much focus on their own gender. There's a lot of shaming for women who try to look beautiful, but the women who do what they say is best (dress very modestly, not for attention) they ignore. Theyd rather pay attention to the women who try to look good (duh) but then complain about it. You get the feeling that if you were to become a wife for one of them, the pressure would be intense.
Dont really see the same issues with cradle young men from other cultures
Please pray for me, I struggle with eating addiction and I live with my folks cause I can't afford to move out and they always eat tempting food that it's hard to say no to. I hate looking this way and it does cause insecurity, esp since my mom keeps bringing it up and it's hard to find a good Catholic man to date. I can't imagine kids who grew up during tiktok/instg book.
I think there are beauty standards for a reason. This does not mean that some people are just inherently ugly. But to think that beauty does not exist, or that ugliness is equal to beauty is to undermine the fact that women can do all sorts of things to become beautiful that are not vain.
If you love your partner, then you'll want to be attractive for them.
Otherwise, you're dead weight.
@@spacegene Does a partner become dead weight if some accident disfigures them permanently?
@@jukesngambits "Does a partner become dead weight if they gain 100 lbs because they've entrapped a man in marriage?"
You go to the fringe and not the the general case because you know your point is a lie.
This topic reminds me of the popular song from yesteryear:
“Lookin' For Love”, by
Johnny Lee:
“Well, I spent a lifetime lookin' for you
Singles bars and good time lovers were never true
Playin' a fools game hopin' to win
And tellin' those sweet lies and losin' again
I was lookin' for love in all the wrong places
Lookin' for love in too many faces
Searchin' their eyes and lookin' for traces
Of what I'm dreamin' of
Hopin' to find a friend and a lover
I'll bless the day I discover
Another heart lookin' for love
And I was alone then, no love in sight
And I did everything I could to get me though the night
Don't know where it started or where it might end
I turned to a stranger just like a friend
I was lookin' for love in all the wrong places
Lookin' for love in too many faces
Searchin' their eyes and lookin' for traces
Of what I'm dreamin' of
Hopin' to find a friend and a lover
I'll bless the day I discover
Another heart lookin' for love
You came a-knockin' at my heart's door
You're every thing I've been lookin' for
No more lookin' for love in all the wrong places
Lookin' for love in too many faces
Searchin' their eyes and lookin' for traces
Of what I'm dreamin' of
Now that I've found a friend and a lover
I bless the day that I discovered
You, oh you
Lookin' for love in all the wrong places
Lookin' for love in too many faces
Searchin' their eyes and lookin' for traces
Of what I'm dreamin' of
Now that I've found a friend and a lover
I bless the day I discovered
You, oh you
Lookin' for love in all the wrong places.”
The moral of the story in this song is “yes” men and women really need to mature up and concentrate on finding the loving life partner for marriage and children since it is a true part of the divine plan for humanity.
Locating a mate can be rather non-stressful and very productive by interacting at the right places and with the right people from the “get-go”. Wasting time is just postponing what is the real essence of life.
Father Josiah, I am currently on a journey to discover more on the Orthodox Church. My background is Reformed Protestant, and I would like to know of some materials to further grow on this path. More and more, it seems like Orthodoxy is calling me. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you, Father.
For Protestants considering conversion to Eastern Orthodoxy, there are several Orthodox books that are particularly helpful:
The Orthodox Church by Timothy (Kallistos) Ware
The Orthodox Way by Timothy (Kallistos) Ware
The Faith: Understanding Orthodox Christianity by Clark Carlton
Becoming Orthodox: A Journey to the Ancient Christian Faith by Peter Gillquis
I'd also get an Orthodox Study Bible and buy The Lives of Saints and read a bit every day.
God bless you. Thank you so very much for your recommendations and consideration. I will definitely look into this list. Blessings! 🙏🕊️
Obsession with looks has destroyed my life ans has made me paralysed in social events. It is what they call 'looksmaxxing' online. It has given me anorexia in puberty, depression and unable to date. The sad part is, i am not even ugly or obese, it is just this constant need for perfection that gives a narcisstic satisfaction when you look as you wish to look.
I had no idea where this was going from the title
I was an "ugly girl" in middle and high school, and there really wasn't social media back then except Facebook. I was a healthy weight for my height and frame but was always considered too tall and too fat. Then, I went to college in a new state and was almost completely isolated and gained a ton of weight. I was 285lbs in 2020. Now I'm 138lbs due to gastroparesis and I am FINALLY, at age 30, getting regular male attention. I am just so confused about men and life. I look like a skeleton and am as white as a sheet due to chronic anemia and yet I get more attention now than I did when I looked and WAS healthy and athletic. Is this a phenomenon caused by social media? Are men really attracted to women who look unwell?
Steward your body for God's glory and your good. Eat healthy and exercise without obsession. Pursue Christ and you will be attractive to the right kind of man.
I’m a woman aged 31 years. I’ve been so scarred in the past by a relationship where I was trained to constantly compare myself to every woman in the vicinity and worry if the person I was dating was more attracted to them.
I am self aware enough to know I’m not beautiful and as much as I want a husband and children I think I would rather be alone than live with the constant fear of being discarded as an inferior commodity. I find it fulfilling helping in the children’s class at church so maybe that is the outlet God has provided to be able to nurture others. Anyway it’s hard not to feel like a commodity as a woman when everything everywhere reinforces the message that how you look is the most important thing about you. There is a certain freedom in not having to worry about what someone else thinks and accepting the fact that I am ugly. Hope is one less woeful thing there is to fight through, especially when it’s hope for things that can never be.
Not ready to wed? Don’t go to bed!
became happy once I stopped dating
Give your thoughts below 🤔
I rather be ugly and have a beautiful heart then be Beautiful and have an ugly heart !!!
THANK You FATHER BLESSED !!!❤❤❤😊
@Biljana-l2l Don't forget, Father said that ALL women are beautiful in their own beautiful ways.😊💕
Thank you for this. As a mother of young daughters, this is on my mind all the time.
I agree what you say, I am totally against cosmetic surgeries
Elder Arsenie Papacioc fell asleep in the Lord in 2011. Fr. Josiah made a mistake and said 1997.
That collage kid has one amazing wife now. To care so much about him to tell him what an elder said to do, is the kind of grace I hope my own can give me one day.