How to Treat a Woman - Manners #1
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- Опубліковано 25 вер 2024
- May 19th, 2023
Father Josiah Trenham
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Patristic Nectar Publications is pleased to present a new five-lecture series by His Grace, Irenei, Bishop of London and Western Europe for the Russian Orthodox Church Outside of Russia, entitled ORIGINS: Creationism, Evolution and an Orthodox Theology of Creation. Well-known patristics scholar and respected arch-pastor Bishop Irenei labors in this series to help believers approach the theology of creation from the presuppositions of the Church instead of through the prisms of evolution and creationism. By an intensive examination of the foundational texts of Genesis, together with numerous sources from the Church Fathers, Bishop Irenei enables us to perceive the Church’s own theological priorities and emphases when addressing the subject of creation.
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Please permit me a moment to express pride in my 3 year old son. My wife told me they were out walking the other day and he told his mother that she was supposed to walk on his right side away from the road. I had no idea how closely he had been paying attention to us!
that's adorable you're raising such a little gentleman
@@basedgod6016 thank you very much. We are certainly trying to do our best :)
Quran says Allah is “Al-Ahad”(one/indivisible).Deductively, It is impossible for perfection to have parts. The old/new testament textually scream oneness of Allah. So, then why believe in trinity and associate two imaginary parts to Allah(one/indivisible/self-sufficient/all-loving)?How could your love be undivided and only for Allah(the most Exalted) when there are two other equally unique/perfect entities?
@@MorallyResponsible there are no parts in God
Children don't always listen to what adults say, but they always pay attention to what they do.
Thank you for this…please also do one for women on how to treat men!
I second this. Blessings!
Just cook him a ribeye, all else will be fine lol
I fourth this!
Let’s say it as Father did. ‘… how to treat OUR man/men’, MY man/men’ 🎉
@@jamisondorsett5268I’m a cook at a nice high end restaurant. If my woman were to cook me a ribeye, I’d probably get so anxious about it that I would take over. 😂
I'm 34 years old, and my father never taught me any of this. Of course, I've learned some of these behaviors through others, but still, when men like myself have sons, we have to break the cycle and teach our sons to lead and be gentlemen.
32, same.
19, same
Your father might not have taught you, but our Father is teaching you so you didn't lose a thing.
I’m 34, feels like god humbles me every day. I’m trying to be the man that’s worthy of a godly woman ☦️
33 year old here and I feel the same way
"The man imitating Christ is seeking the holiness of the woman." ❤
16:15
The world needs a lot of what you said. Christ is Risen !
🇺🇸☦️🇺🇸
Truly, He is Risen!
Is it possible that we could get an equivalent "How to treat a man" video for girls?
I guess it might contain statements a bit less popular these days but as an ex-Catholic wife of an Orthodox man born in a religious family with priestly traditions (I don't know if that's the proper way to say it in English) who does the things mentioned in this video so naturally, I'm out here waiting eagerly to learn how to properly give back to him since it doesn't come so naturally to me.
Very good comment. I second this. Blessings.
I also want this, for myself and also to teach my daughters.
Jasmine Theodora has some good information regarding this.
@Paul R , link please?
Orthodox UA-camrs frequently cover that. It is rare to cover how men should act.
This has made me realize a lot... man society has crumbled... thank you father i will try my best to uphold all of this
One of the most important videos you’ve ever made. Young men are usually not taught this, myself included. I had to read it in a book called “How to be a Gentleman” (Pretty good book, although it discourages evangelizing as ‘impolite’ so keep that in mind). The Church needs to be constantly teaching manners so that we don’t get our ideas on masculinity from men like Andrew Tate or their male feminist cousins.
Father, thank you for making this video. I think you have helped me realize a strong point of why I hate myself as a woman so much, I have never been with a man who made me feel I deserved to be treated with that level of respect. I feel like I am dirt. I have made incredible changes to my life, though my parents did a good job instilling modesty, respect, and manners to another man. I think there is a generational issue. I have finally began to accept my lack of finding a good husband isn’t only because of my shortcomings, or that I’m undeserving. Thank you Father for helping me heal just from one video. God bless you.
God bless you. You are not dirt; you are created in the image of God. ❤🙏✝ 🕊 ❤
As a woman, if a woman gets insulted by you doing these things for her, you would have simply missed a bullet. Don't waste your time with these women, they will never appreciate you and look down on you for it. But there are definitely women who will appreciate these things even today. Most of them will be found through your parish or neighboring parishes. Don't toss your pearls before swine, no matter how hot they are on the exterior.
Thank you Father. I'm very young and I wish to know how to live a godly life and join the Orthodox Church.
Attend a church near you brother ❤️ you will not regret it
я из России, и без перевода поняла многое)). так интересно наблюдать за просвещенческой работой наших иностранных братьев, молодцы! а ведь все девушки этого в душе так хотят...
We sure do!
Nice. Thank you for this, as a 22 year old man. God bless you
A refresher on church etiquette would be lovely, especially when and how to greet clergy and move about. I lament how broken my family was and is with very few examples of decorum, still single in my mid thirties likely because I never learned how to be a man. One step closer each day, though.
Im not orthodox, but I sure love what you teach.
You really encouraged me to become a better christian gentlemen. Thank you for your valuable information!
She will spot you out of a million men and take keen note of your noble manner💖
Yes Father, please do include a reflection on how a woman should treat a man. I need one!
A good wife has a way of civilizing a man. I was a barbarian when I met my wife, but she has taught me to be more considerate and thoughtful about my behaviors, words and manners.
she should have not to do it though. you are very lucky she stayed with you
@@mil.gan4mil.gan431 I think this is true for most men. A good marriage changes you for the better. The virtues that grow in you can only blossom in the holy mystery of marriage, or in the case of monasticism, marriage to the Church.
@@mil.gan4mil.gan431”lucky”. don’t even think or consider that divorce is an option.
Its hard for guys to be civilized when their fathers weren't allowed to raise them properly.@@mil.gan4mil.gan431
It’s not her job nor should any man rely on man but his own willingness to follow Christ
I got a employee information update form last year with all these ridiculous categories on it. I marked other and wrote in "Purple Dinosaur". I received an email from the HR department asking me to let them know how they can accommodate me. I didn't know if I should laugh or cry.
I would consider looking for another employer, or even relocating to another state.
Do you live in CA?
@@orthodox1717 Ohio
Tell them you need all the Dino shapes from the Flintstones vitamins brought to you daily, by the hundreds 😂
Also going to need those Dino chicken nuggets. Can’t live without those as a dinosaur.
Wow. Our son shared this video with us. I can hear our own parental voices, now long absent on this earth, in all you have said. We were taught to be respectful and thankful, and it is dismaying at how little respect is being taught and passed down to the generations. Fathers and mothers have to rise up. Scripture gives an abundance of wisdom and instruction on how to treat and be treated in society. This promotes God's order in our society. We must get back to teaching the young with Godly principles. Thank you for this video. We will be sharing it. Churches and small groups need to hear this message. Rise up, fathers and mothers! Rise up, grandparents!
When I saw the title of of this video I recalled in the Gospel of John how Jesus treated two fallen women. One was a woman who had 5 husbands and was currently living with another man who wasn't her husband. The other was the woman caught in the act of adultery. He treated both women with respect condemning neither only telling them (especially the adulterous explicitly and the first implicitly by pointing out her status) to sin no more. This should give us a model as to how men should treat all women, not just the ones living holy lives. IMHO 🙏☦
Ooooooo.... Can you do a series like this for orthodox young men that are dating. My sons will be listening to this.
Very timely and invaluable …..I have a long, long way to go as far as applying this to my marriage….Lord have mercy….
I hope you've seen success friend
Going through plenty of the videos on here, thank you Father. The part on the bathrooms made me blush because I not once ever thought that I should do such things in/for a bathroom of all places. Right now I am going to a protestant church but watching you, it is pretty clear I desire greatly to enter the Orthodox Church. I am 22 right now, but I have never had a "girlfriend" and at times I get extremely despondent that I will never find a good woman, and neither do I feel the call for monasticism. I pray one day, but it is all God's will.
I think im gonna love this session, father. Make more of this please.
Maybe you can make a video about 'How to be a good friend to other people'? 🙏
We’re living in strange times. We appreciate you!! ❤
Its the way the devil rages against the woman, the Blessed Virgin Mary, her motherhood, and the relationship between the Bride, the Church with Our Lord Jesus Christ! Chaos and confusion
Thank you for speaking on this. As a young man who is striving to learn more about our faith and become a better person, I look forward to learning from your future videos on this subject.
Thank you Father 🙏☦️
This is such a refreshing and encouraging reminder and teaching, thank you so much for everything that you do! Also, advertisements don't usually catch my attention and get me excited, but that lecture on creation and evolution I am definitely going to purchase soon!
Hi Father Josiah, thank you for this video. When I played it to my husband he was horrified that he had to do any of these things that you mention. I think I will be waiting forever.
Truly He is Risen!☦️
God be with you, Father. Thank you for this. It is important for proper etiquette to be spoken upon in this day and spirit of the age.
Thank you for teaching on this 💜
I remember when wild or untamed young men would go off to the military and then come back home. Often what was noticeable was how polite they had become, with Yes, ma'am, and No, sir. BUT the foundation of it was that they had been initiated into a form of manhood that required them to prove their worth and make that their grounds for SELF-respect. They had become admirable, as men. This is what gave their good manners value. Nowadays with so many women ruined by the narcissism of "girlpower" and feminism, that unless a man's "chivalry" comes from a position of strength (and a refusal to be disrespected) AND the woman is capable of reciprocating, it is often a waste of time, if not an invitation to humiliation.
To be fair, a lot of men have wandering eyes, addicted to porn, not faithful, are controlling.. It's not a one sided thing.
Thank you Father for your wise teaching.
Truly He is risen! Thank you for reposting this. I was listening this morning when it stopped and there was a message that said the video was removed. I thought “uh oh”. The algorithms got it. Glad it’s back. ☦️
It is Basic. I can hardly believe that young folks don’t know this.
Of course, I was a child of of mid 1960s. That world is mostly gone by now, Lord have mercy on us all.
I'm in the same age group. We're all damaged by the "flower power" movement of the 1960s and the feminism and all the even worse movements since then. We Christians should stand up to the degradation, each person carve out a humble niche of Christianity around himself. Changing the world can only start with yourself, the only place you have influence over. Blessings.
That world is gone because the 1960s generation decided to wage revolution on their parents generation and destroy it all.
Being an Orthodox teen in the '60's, I watched it all fall apart, at the hands of women! Men and women knew their places in society and in the home and women (made of a finer clay) were put on pedestals, but then the feminist movement came along promoting equality to men. "Equal pay for equal work!" Fine, but it went way past that, then it became superiority. Women began using men until, as in today's world, men used them back and marriage became obsolete. It is refreshing to see on UA-cam that there are groups of women who are tired of the fight and see exactly what Fr. is preaching about and yearn to be women again. I think it would be a good idea if Fr. did do a video about how women should treat men. We live in such a crazy world, but I have hope for it. Thank you for putting your foot forward on this, Fr.
@@vasilii6417 I agree on all counts. Blessings!
@@vasilii6417Why would women be put on pedestals? That sounds like simping to me.
It comes much easier to have manners when all the women you interact with are the sweet elderly ladies from church, but as far as for young women, it's sad, but I (and many young men my age can probably agree) almost cannot even imagine interacting with young women.
They are not in church, and in public they are dressed so indecently we cannot even interact with them, the situation is so bad. How can our generation of young men pull our women back in to the fold? Would be cool to have a reflection on that
Emily Post's guide to etiquette mentions several of these. People should check out that book too.
Thank you, Father! This is an informative and wonderful video.
Thank you, father! Please do more videos on this topic, we really need it.
Thank you father for covering this . LOVE AND AUPPORT FROM ARKANSAS
Very helpful.
Amen Praise the lord ☦️🛐.❤💋 For (My Mother My Life) God bless you.Thank you Father.
Thank you Father for this. A great deal to ponder on, and a great deal to do.
Thank you so much, Father, for this video. Many Christian men don't know how to treat their women. For married women, how do we handle consistent verbal and emotional abuse, and daily gaslighting from our husbands? Everything the wife does is undervalued or not valued at all, especially giving birth to their children. Please make a video about how a wife in a Christian marriage that is so heavy with suffering should conduct herself towards her husband and children. A life like that is just survival for the wife. She's dying or died interiorly because her husband does not love her as a daughter of God but as an object for his own earthly pleasure and slave in the home. She's devasted that she believed her husband to be a pious believer in Christ but doesn't behave as such inside the home, only on Sundays when he goes to traditional Latin Catholic Mass.
Sound like you are married to a narcissist. Husbands are commanded to love their wives and if he is abusing you, he does not love you. Also it is impossible to change a narcissist
@@hautecouture2228 Well. She’s married to him now. So telling her he’s always going to be awful probably isn’t helpful unless you’re trying to push her towards divorce. Which also isn’t helpful.
OP have you tried reaching out to your spiritual father or other parishioners for help on this matter?
@Random3619 yes of course. Multiple times, since the beginning of marriage. They always say patience in suffering, prayer, forgive/forget, and treat him with sweetness and kindness.
@@Joefrenomics I am not pushing anyone to get divorced but if she is indeed married to a narcissist she better get advice from a psychologist or a psychiatrist than a priest. My priest kept telling me to forgive and forgive my malignant narcissist sister until I found myself in a situation when she tried to kill me. The general advice for dealing with narcissists and psychopaths is no contact. They destroy other human beings mentally, financially, spiritually and physically
@@rosalba3701 if after much prayer and deliberation, you determine that your husband is in serious sin, and you are able to clearly articulate a list of exactly what those sins are, where in Scripture/Tradition they are condemned, and can cite examples when he has committed those sins (even better if you get recordings), then you have a right to lovingly confront him one-on-one, in a spirit of gentleness, and call him to repentance from those things. If he, in spite of your prayers, is still resistant, then you can bring additional witnesses, and if even that doesn't work, you can bring it to the attention of the Church.
Galatians 6:1 ESV - Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.
Matthew 18:15-18 ESV - “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.
I don't know your situation, but as a general principle, and especially as Orthodox Christians, we should always approach these matters with much humility, acknowledging that we are the chief of sinners, and making sure that we remove any planks from our own eye first, before judging. And of course, like others said, seek the counsel of your spiritual father as well.
My father also taught us to “be sure the bathroom is cleaner than it was when we got there” At a house as a guest 😂
Fantastic video.
Thank you Father.
Truly He is Risen!
Thank you father, this is much needed guidance especially in these times. God bless ☦️
I wish someone taught me this 20 years ago....
thank you for this.
Thank you, Father.
Thank you Father, I always love listening to your talks. God bless you always 🙏
PNP is such a blessing. Love these videos
Truly edifying! Thank you Father Trenham 🙏
Thank you. Lovely
I still have quite a bit to learn.
Thank you
Thank you! Father ...from Ethiopian Orthodox Tewahido Church
I will share it with my son and brothers.
Thank you father! This is so important and helpful for me and I think many others
Thank you Father
So refreshing
Thank you Fr.
Now the question remains: where does one meet a single, wholesome Orthodox woman in the first place?
Simple answer: Your local church. Complex answer: Dating sites or through trustworthy friends making it clear that you're Orthodox and you expect the same.
Same place one meets a rare wholesome Orthodox man.
Christ is risen! Thank you Fr. I know that many well meaning men will hear your words and eagerly put them to action. Glory to God! Will you please do one for women? It’s sad we have to ask, but it seems basic etiquette is just so lost on us younger ones.
Father, make Manners #2 please
Make a part two, there's so much more!
Blessings and respect and many thanks for the video. You are a breath of fresh air. In which US state are you located?, from the hospital questionnaire it sounds like it could be California, am I wrong?
08:05 : Making a contribution. Amen !! It is so good to hear someone say this.
And a question related to the topic: How about manners that the woman should respect towards the man?
His church is in California.
@@johnsambo9379 Thanks for your comment, That doesn't sound surprising, hearing that hospital questionnaire. I wish him all fortitude staying sane there. Blessings.
Has the world of Orthodoxy come to this, if so, I cringe. 13 days ago, and I'm the first one to like?
Lol the likes on this video are hidden. You aren't the first one to like, it just doesn't show how many likes there are on this video
Thank you for your reflection Father. Truly He is risen! Question: What are we men to do when our women and sisters in Christ do not have respect for themselves in public (things like immodest dress or conduct, etc), how can we move them to a sense of self-respect and chastity and protect ourselves from fleshly temptations?
As many other comments have said, a reflection upon the women's perspective in this area may be greatly beneficial to all.
There are a lot of videos from various Orthodox men on the subject. Men's conduct is rarely addressed.
One of my gestures which was depicted by my wife and corrected soon afterwards during several months by myself, it was when we walked together (she was my gf 6-7 years ago) was the lack of grace when looking to another attractive girls/ladies, I even turned my head off sometimes disrespectfully. Nowadays, even we gentlemen always do it more subtle, we should always love and respect our gf/ladies/wives.
Subtle or not, you shouldn't. One's eyes are only for one's betrothed or spouse, no others.
"Who does number 2 work for?!"
Algorithm boost.
When you say any threat that includes unsavory character possibly on drugs or alcohol. Disregard the road in that case if need be and adjust where you are smoothly
Approach with extreme caution,
they are a far cry from women of centuries ago.
There are still some quasi-unicorns out there. I' am onto one at the moment.
@@Michael_the_Drunkard Id have as much trust in that statement as someone who claims to be Sinless.
Though i bare no ill will towards you or any other women for that fact. Stay strong and above the noise, may our Lord forever remain with you and your spirit.
@@observer.b_e_l_l_i_sRemember, the good men are equally as rare.
Thank you so much for this... I do suffer because today man think they should not help or give love to the woman if she is not virgin any more. Please Father could you make a video about how we treat a woman witch is no longer virgin?
Serving, Protection, Honour? I stare at these words and they are new to me. Why do I feel men in this religion are put up with what God gave for them and have to forgive her on their end and bear with her reluctantly. I am not to desire finding and hoping for someone who does not think woman is that bad after all. I’m never after your control and I won’t learn anything new when you are out of the house. Maybe it was the devil’s lies and no one to prove me otherwise maybe the lies they seek in other denominations.
Reject Jezebels, embrace Ruths!
I don't see any Ruth's.
@@majorrager3353there ain’t none. For many of the young men they’re left with women who have been with at least 10 guys by the time they are 24.
Don’t be a Jezebel yourself and you shall attract what you are
How are there all of these comments and no likes? Must’ve been taken down for a while?
YOUR woman, YOUR possession
The eating meals happily thing after giving thanks really calls me out. i have a physical tasting disorder - my tastebuds are larger and more numerous (phenomenon is known as "super taster" , most common in african american women - im a white guy). Some foods will have me reflexively throwing up as they are so incredibly offputting. Should I be privately force feeding myself these foods so I can weep over the dish privately- so that in the future I can hopefully eat it with a smile?
I'm ashamed to have insulted the Lord by not happily eating whatever food he places in front of me.
Manners maketh man.
Father Josias, ...I have a quick sidebar question, in regards to the part of this Lecture where you mentioned good Table Manners. What about people who, (like myself), have special Dietary Needs? I follow the Dairy-free and Gluten-free Diet, (for the benefit of my Autism Spectrum Disorder and my Digestive Health. I refuse to believe that Triune God is both Authoritarian and unreasonable. What are your thoughts on this particular issue?
Hey father, help me with this. Can we eat Pork and Shellfish? If not, what do we do if it is served to us? Do we consume with gratitude or faithfully deny?
Part or it is that these kids don’t clean their own bathrooms, Maria the house keeper does, or mom does. Unnaceptable. Our kids don’t work enough
Can we allow that some of these courtesies and chivalrous actions must be excepted in the case of children. My wife will not wait outside in the rain for me to open her door while I take the time to buckle the children
"Pee on the sink"...🤣🤣I used to have to clean a Men's room (BTW, the idea that Ladies rooms are cleaner is a myth) and I KNOW what you all found on the walls over the years! YIKES!
Good evening all. Anyone know of an online forum or is interested in creating one for Orthodox fathers who have been forcefully separated from their home and children, to fraternise and to share helpful advice etc?
I'm 32. This way of acting around women sounds so radically different to what I'm used to, that I genuinely have trouble imagining how to do anything remotely like it, and I'd expect people around me, including the women themselves, to treat me as weird and even creepy for doing so. If I were to jump out of my chair for every woman entering a 10 meter radius, wouldn't that seem like I'm desperately trying to seduce them? My normal behavior towards everyone, men and women, is shy and introverted. I'm quite sure if I suddenly behaved in this way it would freak everyone out. I think this particular lesson might be too difficult for me at this moment...
where do you live
Spirit of the law bruh. Just treat them with a spirit of dignity
@@Binary10100Thank you, your comment is simple but very helpful
@@guineapig55555 I live in the Netherlands. I was raised as an unbeliever. I converted to Protestantism about 3 years ago and am currently converting to Orthodoxy, so a topic like this is quite new to me.
@@SimpleAmadeus ah yes, people are very equal there
Now how about how to treat a man? Many men are aware of how to treat a woman. It seems that women do not know how to treat a man. Please if you have a video about this I’d like to know.
In the paperwork, having the gender option of "trans, male to female" doesn't make sense because they don't put a uterus in when they do reassignment surgery. Like, it's physically impossible to give birth in that situation.
Father, the term "vulgarity" is a slight on Slavs (Bulgar). I try not to use it.
When is it permissible to hug, hold hands, kiss on cheek, kiss on lips for an Orthodox couple hopefully on the path to marriage? No kissing until engaged or only once married?
It isn't like I'm biting my fingernails.
"excuse me, may i offer you a ride to go live in a monastery ma'am" 😉 "my pleasure"
Thank for you this video, Fr. Trenham.
How do we learn to separate between respect, and idolatry?
Much of what is being addressed in this video could very easily turn into women worship. What I mean by that is that many young men today desire women in an unhealthy way, probably fostered by modern movies and Internet culture, which lead to a skewed perception of the sexes, and 'simping' -- an act of seeking validation from women (rather than seeking a companion).