Ideal Spouse & Marriage Red Flags Ft.
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- Опубліковано 4 жов 2024
- The3Muslims ⬇️
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Gabriel Al Romaani ⬇️
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OK, Gabriel, salaam, question, would you take a second wife?
was a good feed. As a Muslim husband who wanted my wife to focus on the children rather then work.. I have struggled and can relate to your feeds. After working I come home only to find my wife complaining of how difficult the day has been with the kids and she has not got enough sleep.. Narrations thrown at me of how the prophet alayhisalaam would help out in the house... I do try when I am able to in helping around the house but feel drained.. Even intimacy I have to hear things like you can have me while I'm 😴 I'm tired, or let's watch something on telly and spend some time together but no we can't listen to a talk or study as she's too tired... only learning I do is when I'm on my way to and back from work.. When I mention polygamy she will say if you do this I will leave.. When she watches a programme and an affair comes up she would say if you ever do this I will leave and break you!
its like I'm married and not married... I love my children and will do what ever ot takes to not lose them and be part of their daily life bit its hard and a struggle..
When I married the only criteria I had was that my wife has to be a Muslim because she wants to be and following the quran and authentic sunnah... definitely listen to this brother Gabrielle and learn to be real men and look for real women
@@j2shoes288 he already has a second wife
Gracias hermano
Was a pleasure having you as always akhi
- Faiyad
2:24 it was the wealest Podcast in da Dunya
Can't wait to see your upcoming guest _Milahan_ looking forward to it!
The issue with dating is that you don't get to know each other, you're too busy putting on an act to tick each others shallow boxes. The other problem with dating is that if you don't preserve yourself and let the other person under your skin until they hurt you, you will carry this bitterness and blame it on the next man/woman
Thats why as muslims we dont date
There is nothing beneficial rather than satisfying some of ur hormones and carrying a big thinking about the other person (where to go what to talk about...etc) which make both of them forget reality and dream about some none sense that ll always lead to failure or worst than that (farming sins till falling into zina) , if not for the argument of (the law made marriage kind of hard) , dating is for the most stupid ignorant brainless people on the planet.
@@Abujound Calm down. No need to sound so mad
im not lol (i wasnt adressing u) 😅 , i just cant understand why people does certain things that doesnt do them any good rather only to deny their responsibilities and fall more into deeper problems.
Salaam. I cannot thankyou enough for mentioning this, because we get a different viewpoint from our own sisters and our matriachs about marriage, being ready for marriage and looking for a spouse. Thankyou for underlying the priorities within a marriage as it makes a lot of sense, it can be extremely tiring having to be everything all the time. This is why I love Islam, the role of a woman is not complex at all and actually the unit of the family with having a man as the head of the household is comforting. May Allah swt grant us with hidayah and spouses who will be the coolness of our eyes. Ameen
Brother Gabriel - I would like to see you give a lecture regarding older single Muslims- those who are divorced or widowed or never married, and finding a spouse. This is a big issue, especially with reverts in the West. Is it our lot in life, in the ummah, to remain single? We seem to be largely ignored in social media and lectures...
I noticed a sickness where parents and relatives hide the bad habits of their child and 1month down the road you find out this person has no respect for elders, they are physically violent, they have unlawful relationships going on but they do not want to hear the word polygamy. Some people may think this is not happening but wallahi we live in a sick world. At the time when your getting to know this person, they will tell you MaaShaa Allah he is good, “he prays” but lol he prays fajr at 9am, 4-5hours after sunrise and not once but everyday, you dare wake them up or remind them of Allah??? Subhana Allah you become a punching bag and a disobedient wife.
Every time I see these things happen to the people I love, I’m confused as to how I will get to know “some guy” if the relatives can not even tell the truth (these are the bad apples in the good families)
My type of wife 🤣
This is so true, in my experience all their family and friends lie their butts off to push you to marry the person. Especially if they know you are good or have some money.
But if you date there's no way to know also, unless you live together or something. Even then my dad's wife acted totally different after she got that ring.
Akhir zaman
Straight to the heart brothers, way too much truth in your words.
The devouring mother is a big problem that I noticed in our community. The constant obedience to the mother can foster this, especially when the father is absent or simply not taking up his role in the family. Beware of it!
I can image this would happen when you compel a women to invest so much in her family (and not in other aspects of her life) that this occurs. This is why it's healthy for a woman to "have other things going on" in her life that being a mom. That role will naturally change over time as children grow older and become adults.
@@deedeee6271 nah, is more lack of male leadership in the family.
@@deedeee6271 Based on somethings I’ve seen is that some mothers (maybe most) forget that children are trust given from Allah and rather think they are theirs to mold and shape in their own way. They attach themselves to their children too much. However, a mother who truly understands this knows she doesn’t own her children and that she’s rather serving Allah by raising them righteously. This woman doesn’t need really need to have a distraction in her life. She can manage so long as she’s steadfast on her Deen.
This is just my thought based on sths I learned.
So beneficial for the men and women in our Ummah! An eye-opening! Baraka Allahu fikom Sheikh
@0:53 to @1:40 is something so many people unfortunately haven't been exposed to but it's so important to understand, Masha'Allah, May Allah bless you guys and accept all your worship Ameen
Ma'sha Allah.. This is another level brother❤️
Alhamdulilah, I know they don’t like this. Alhamdulilah!!
The Feminist Society be hating😂
Akhi Gabriel, You are doing amazing work educating Muslims. Our Omah needs more educators who can deliver the information to the public.
This video is so helpful, Wish I saw this before my Marriage would've saved me from divorce
Everything happens for a reason
Everything said here is flawless but if there would be a common need to understand the other persons struggle would be so great. About the complaining woman , I’ve seen many woman complain , they deep down don’t feel loved and appreciated and it shows by the way they are treated , even though a pious woman needs to strengthen herself in those times it’s also the mans duty to be more empathetic even if it’s not in his nature
Most of the videos about marriage aren’t really helpful for the young generation because there are many other problems we face for marriage
Jazaak Allahu khairan for this❤
I love you for the sake of Allah my beloved brothers. I hope one time I can meet you. May Allah bless you 🌹
Please keep up the videos!
Become a person who has izzah (honour) and you will not be attracted to lowly things and will be liked by good people. Earlier times, people relied on fajr prayer for big needs. Stop mixing haqq and baatil
Please continue these videos
Do a video of interfaith marriage
- experience if you come across any
-Does who are married in it , how best to handle such a situation.
I've read alot of article of people wanting to know and get advice.
Simple answer people would say, is to only marry a Muslim but not one gives advice on does who are married in it on what to do
If you want your janna you better look for someone you have same faith with to worship Allah in obedience in sha Allah ya Rabb.
I have seen marriages like those the Muslim person in the relationship stops praying all together, the ladies wear exactly revealing clothes. Again if we want janna we better obey Allah with this one. Interracial and intercultural it's fine But interfaith is a big no.
Wa llahu a3lam
@@ab.a8353 interracial and intercultural also have other benefits and plus!
I had a lot of muslim-christian background classmates specifically muslim father and christian mother and 99% of those children have divorced parents and end up following their mother’s religion. This goes to show that there is a high probability it doesn’t work and it is much better if both parents are muslim so that they can grow up with parents having similar goals for their children.
@@ab.a8353 see what weird is in today time interracial marriage is a big no
@@anikaabida6019 and when the the mother is muslim,father non muslim,then they follow father's religion wow what a World we live in.
Love the set-up 🔥🔥🔥
May Allah reward you immensely
Jazakallahu khayran Akhi!
Don't Marry working women because you have to pay the price brother and your children.....
Balace is important in relationship...
If both party working for the money .
The relationship is suffer..
Not all relationships with this arrangement suffer.
Let everyone do what works for them
Provided it's within Quran and sunnah
@@deedeee6271 Almost all suffer unless they are self-convinced that they aren't suffering.
@@12345678956824 It doesn't work. That's what he was saying.
This is not true for everyone. What works for you may not work for everyone else. My husband and I both work and are present in out children’s lives. There have been times that I didn’t work or worked part time just to be sure to meet my kids needs when they were younger. I like working, and I love being a mother. My marriage, and my kids have not suffered. It is about balance, I am great at making sure there is balance. I still cook, clean (my husband and I both clean), I help with homework etc. We make sure that we spend time with our kids, family first. This is what works for me and my family.
Again if you don’t want a wife that works, good for you, may Allah bless you. You have to be careful with your advice because you have no idea what someone’s situation is, and maybe both the husband and wife has to work. Also if the husband divorces the wife and she has no work history or her own finances, she will be in for a reality check because she will struggle. Having to depend completely on someone one else financially is not always a good idea in these days and times. Do what works for you.
Very Nice
Soooo Nice 👍
Very good video!
As-Salaam Alaikum
7am 😂😂😂subhaanAllah big talk
There are men who are weak " a person I knew in his 40's committed suicide" married with 4 children
On their standard from their own experience 24:20 . During hazrat umars r.a. caliphate. A women put a condition she wouldn't go out of her hometown. Was / is this a condition from Sunnah? No. Then how come you say those women had standards from their experiences. Why demolishing people's experiences here?
33:00 is such an important moment here
Assalamualaikum guys. Shukran for an informative talk. Just one thing I have to disagree with is having a woman prostrate to her husband. I feel that is a bit much. I'm unfortunately not learned to argue the hadith mentioned with regard to this. But I do feel that it is wrong for anyone to bow to any creation. That is a general rule of engagement in my stance towards Allah. Rabul aalamin. No husband should be expecting this from his wife imo. This denotes a sign of kibr which Allah infact hates.
So people please learn Deen. And never abandon Quran and Sunnah. I make duah Allah guides each of us to the way that is the most upright and just
Wa alaikum salaam warahmatullah wabarakatuh
The hadith says *if*
The Prophet would never call to shirk.
The point of the hadith is to emphasize that wives ought to obey the husbands because of the maqaam Allah gave them.
Doesn't mean the husband should be prancing around beating his chest expecting his wife to be a maid with benefits.
Allah knows best.
@@12345678956824 Alhamdulillaah we do want our women to obey us in what is right and what is just. May Allah SWT make us all worthy of such women. Increase us in good character and all that has barakah
@@NzR101-r4k Ameen!
The Caption is not looking good. Please don't downgrade yourself for the sake of Dawah.
Brother Noman is providing very important knowledge and you are doing well brothers.
Aslaamualukoum people tell you it’s maktub they marry a bad man, even though they don’t do much of the research into the person they are marrying. Also their was red flags they ignored. First the woman does not know who she is and what she wants. They don’t look into important things. People also give their representative and not their true self. These are some of the issues.
OK, Gabriel, salaam, question, would you take a second wife?
Alhumdullilah
You are Canadian revert sister, right?
@@yotubeinternethypocrite8412 I reverted in 2012 no I’m Hispanic Americana 💕💕💕💕 From Texas.
@@valeriedeleon3578 well my bad sister,but atleast I got one thing right that you are a revert,I had seen that sister's comments,she also had Valerie as her name
@@yotubeinternethypocrite8412 I have UA-cam channel it’s just on a book I’m reading. You can check it out I started just for dikr, no reason to say my bad you’re good. Alhumdullilah for everything.
@@valeriedeleon3578 I agree, anyone else is a Muslim in your family?
#I will answer :I will say I am tired .Then I will ask him:What you will do if I said I am tired?If he answer :I will get upset and angels will curse you,then i will not mary him.If he said: I will give you a massage to relax you,then I will marry him.#If I disobey my husband who is telling me to learn French ,I am not entering Paradise?#Believe me women does not want scholars too but just good not stressful kind helpful in house work husband.
As if we don't know.
Stop getting triggered over Islamic things repent and do tawba
Muslim women must obey their husbands in all halal matters why is it so hard to accept
@@ibrahimzulfiquar668 cause I am not in mood to eat cheese when he want me to.
@@ibrahimzulfiquar668
Assalamu A'laikum. Well I see problem in the mindset where this question is coming from. Lets break it down. A woman enters home late. First thing one should ask is if she is tired, how was her day, if they should have dinner together. Have a little chit-chat and then proceed to intimate moments. That makes a lot of sense to a woman who has emotional needs equating to the amount of your physical needs brother.. she is all emotions. Never forget this. Treating her the right way leads her to your satisfaction. Peace ✌️
May Allah bless you..
And according to teachings of Prophet sallalahu alaihe wasallam.. Be good to your wives. Be gentle with them.
جزاك الله خيرا
#picktherightone I dream about being submissive to my future husband. Inshallah may Allah allow that for me and the fact that I can choose any gate of heaven. 🤯
please make a video on the topic of 2nd marriage or polygyny and the role of first wife....
He has a whole series on polygyny.
timestamps?
0:00 Video Started
51:56 Video Finished
You can thank me later😉
@@Moses-jo5ox Thanks Yoou Bro!!🙏
@@Moses-jo5ox Your a legend 🙌
@@Moses-jo5ox 🤣
Go on our Podcast @The3Muslims
We always include timestamps. This is Episode #43
Alhamdulilah
Assalamualaikum,
Im just wondering, what do you think about getting to know someone on online platform? Is it even halal? If it is, how do we, as Muslims, interact online the right way?
I think its getting more common now where Im from, especially since the 2000s. Looking at pandemic situation and so many people socializing on social media, i think we need some advice or guideline to assess whether someone is marriageble or not.
Become a person who has izzah (honour) and you will not be attracted to lowly things and will be liked by good people. Earlier times, people relied on fajr prayer for big needs. Stop mixing haqq and baatil
Have a third person or wali moderating the chat always. Pure Matrimony does this. Or you can do it yourself via WhatsApp in sha Allah
@@abusadi4742 This is not practical advice, it is virtue signalling.
@@donquixote3292Qur'an and hadith are abundant with practical advice. We have to learn to listen. Ya Allah.
i want to learn but i feel liberalism of women is largely connected to the unhappiness that hasn't been addressed from far too long , that really causes a pathology of trauma to be strong. ,, the jugdemental this is rampant and theres a whole generalisation of the characteristics you speak of. oppressed is a real feeling and so the majority of the women you speak about their ills you speak of and i think inherently that these conversations feel like an attack on our feelings, feels like invalidation which causes repression. i also think our perception of a relation ships and marriage and intamcy and very disported, disney brainwashing , love and real day to day relationships, not feeling we can embrace our femininity and the weakness in men is rarely as physical that more a male need as much as a women need, so how do we make it work with distortion and so many weak men you speak of .
never the less great lecture
Marry dont marry with wedding party never.
Just one witness enough waiste of money time etc.
Celebrate, but keep it humble...
No DJ or dance party.
@@energy2048 i want you to do some exercise for me to track a snitch in my past use whatever you can.
I need it so that person get same in return.
@@energy2048 people that poison young people should get broken nosed if small poison bruised if bad whole face smashed in poisons are so coward.
All the unmarried good Muslims are like, "Oh god I gotta get marries"
bro talk about this
how to identify abuse in marriage Islamic perspective plz share?
You are talking about feeling, about chemistry?I never heard our prophet said this is one of the reason to marry a women:ti have chemistry with her.He said to look at her because some have defects:blind, cross eyes.....etc Not to check if u have chemistry.WTH will nag when is meeting future husband???
Become a person who has izzah (honour) and you will not be attracted to lowly things and will be liked by good people. Earlier times, people relied on fajr prayer for big needs. Stop mixing haqq and baatil
Write something that you will be rewarded for, the prophet pbuh said :
The miserly is the one in whose presence I was mentioned, but he did not pray for me.❤
Peace be upon him❤❤
Attraction?and what u do when attraction wil vanish anyway after few years.
Attraction means , coolness to eyes. It's not beauty as western culture projects
Mashallah
Marriage isn’t possible for most men in the west til they are about 30 and then they experienced all sort of stuff marriage afterwards loses its meaning
No. That is because people are greedy. But if a girl is genuinely interested then she isn't going to make you go through hell. Sometimes the families oppress the potential groom with high maher. The bride should challenge this otherwise she is complicit.
@@phoenixknight8837 yeah good luck finding that life is worthless if you aren’t rich and handsome
👏👏👏
👏👏👏👏👏👏
45:20
#picktherightone
I want janahh
Are UA-cam earnings halal?
No
Pre-Nup! Pre-Nup! Pre-Nup!
Pre nups are useless nowadays because even if he woman signs it u still have to prove in court that she wasnt being pressured to sign. It is better to not declare the marriage to government.
Nabel Omer that is another stupid idea too!
@@smeshcel3025 just make sure to do the pre-nup months before the wedding and with a lawyer and have her video taped and recorded accepting to the pre-nup
@@smeshcel3025 pre nup with witnesses!
@@theterminator6121 even then she could still say she was pressured into signing it nd that doesnt nessecrly mean gun to her head. But the dumb thing is that you would have to somehow prove u didnt pressure her which isnt something that can really be proved. Family court is the stupidest thing ever. It is better to get married and just not declare it to the government then u dont have to deal with all that bs
Naggers...
To tell a woman that the only sense of happiness she can achieve is through her husband is incredibly arrogant.
Whatever
All Muslim world are busy thinking about Palestine. You are happy enough to talk about marriage, dating, chicken cooking???
I have doubts about this person.
Muslim brothers and sisters just read Quran to find out your problems and solutions. And you will find answers about this people too.
Br. Gabriel did a stream about what we can do for Palestine not too long ago. Also, if you were following his Ramadan reminders he talked about it frequently, reminded us to make dua, etc. Have people stopped working because they are thinking about Palestine? Have they stopped eating? Drinking? Have they stopped getting married? Living their lives? The answer is no. Quit trying to make yourself feel like you're doing something good for the world while shaming people for discussing a relevant topic to Muslims. Drop your reminder for Palestine
without the moralizing tone.
Ha ha ha...
Very good job. Interesting. Go ahead.
But I have doubts. Not only this videos.
Read Quran and you will understand.
@@AbuTaher-df2sw Why did you have dinner today? You should make dua 24/7 for palestine and not eat. Do you see how incredibly unlogical that is? That is what you just did....
@@AbuTaher-df2sw This video was done during first week of Ramadan. The brother already addressed the issue as Sara already mentioned above. Despite all that, let me ask you and me and everyone else in that matter: _is the issue of Al-Quds a trend issue?_ Meaning: _should we only talk about and have concern only when the newsmedia put them on the spotlight?_ How many crimes are happening against the Ummah at this very moment we are writing this comment behind keyboard as 'keyboard warriors' when we don't even have concern about them? Let alone mentioning them in our circles! Every massacre that being committed against our brothers and sisters should be our priority and concern 24/7 and NOT only when its all over the newsmedia. So many barbaric killing bloodshed is happening to the Ummah everywhere today! The issue of the Ummah is not only Al-Quds and it didn't start today. It hurts me when I see ppl only wake up in certain time and go back to sleep as soon as the trending news falls into asleep. Why? Do we think the issue was resolved and no more killing? Silent killers are more severe than loud killers. Do we know that? I don't think so. Btw i am addressing all of us, included myself first! The issue of this Ummah should be talked about and awareness created non-stop until each and every one is educated enough to know the history (which most of us don't study) Educating the current generation is crucial so that the next generation continues until promised victory comes from Allah. We should not procrastinate. We should have high spirits, masculinity, manhood, courage, skills, strength, active brain, correct Aqeedah to face and defeat our enemies which is what brother Gabriel is focusing on. We need to start from inside -> out and not the other way around. How many ppl talk about Palestine only during trends and forget as soon as the newsmedia stops the trend! Does that do any good? Maybe it just soothes our temporary emotional scars, but nothing constructive, productive or long lasting solution. We need to see the bigger picture and identify the big Elephant in the room before we go with the flow! Thats my humble opinion. Idk if it makes any sense, but I'll leave with this quote
"والله إن النصر فوق الرؤوس ، ينتظر كلمة كن فيكون ، فلا تشغلوا أنفسكم بموعد النصر ، انشغلوا بموقعكم بين الحق والباطل"
سيد قطب (رحمه الله)
Became more interesting.
He worked hard for 7~8 or more years?
This is the time for output/ income.
Pay him now: PayPal or BITCOINS.
Help him , educate him, learn from him sexuality problems.....and
You will get rewards!
Become a REAL MAN ??? Because you’re not yet !!
#picktherightone