They are giving out some ridiculous scenarios in this discussion to prove their point. I read some comments and agree that this sounds like a discussion where theses men are trying to convince women to accept polygamy. I accept it not because of this unbalanced discussion but because Allah SWT has allowed it with conditions and rules. That doesn’t mean women have to choose this lifestyle. To each his or her own choice right.
As a woman I feel jelousy thinking my man would be with another woman but I also think about the wisdom of of Allah, I don't believe that he would allow something that would be harmful to the woman , we women also become sad because we think that we are not good enough anymore , I think it's impossible to imagine why a man would want another woman while women only wants her 1 man so we are left to think that they just don't like us anymore and it's heartbreaking. We pray that Allah gives us easy and a peaceful heart.
The competition polygyny encourages between wives is healthy. If you notice another wife is being more favored and think you are “not good enough”, you should work harder to be a better wife.
@@casebased8391 "competition between women"... Triangulation (manipulation) and quite literally *pimp culture*. How is it not obvious that the religion was created by men to benefit men?
@@jaydaallam8023 Allah swt wouldn’t make halal something that is unhealthy, especially something that is *sunnah* . Stop following feminism and follow Islam instead.
Dear brothers. Make sure u have already make your first wife like a queen before even thinking about having another. Also, if ur wife doesnt agree, please respect her opinion. Even if its permissible, if it leads to broken relationship with your first wife, dont even think about it. For Allah's blessing is with good family.
If a broken relationship with the first wife means that the man is protecting himself from zina, and he is acting upon which has been prescribed by Allah SWT, then so be it.
This modern terminology of making her feel like a queen is vague and problematic, in some cases it implies she is walking all over you, rather you should make sure your relationships with your first wife is a good one and you don't have issues and you are good to her as the prophet saw was to his wives not that you make her a 'queen'. Secondly, she is in the wrong for ruining things when you have the right of getting a second wife. We talk endlessly about women's rights but we neglect men and this is one of their rights, if she doesn't like it rather he can make it easy for her and talk to her and adress negative emotions etc to make it better for her and give it time but ultimately it is allowed for men and this is the end of that
Polygany is NOT about what a man want, or a woman. Its about society. Its about the orphans, widows and the divorced. When men made it about what they want and desire it went down hill. Islam is about the betterment of society and taking care of the needy not the hawa. women desire to show their hair, but we don't because it's not about us its about Allah. Women could also want a man other than their husband or fantasize about two men, but we stop ourselves because its not about our desires its about Allah. Men really pretend like only they have desires for the opposite gender but forget women also in their nature salivates over different multiple men at the same time as well. But we choose Haya and purity because we choose Allah. Men are also supposed to choose Allah and THINK about who the ayah is mentioning: orphans, second hand possessions. Thats why the prophet married one second hand possession, widows and divorcees.
Do you think all widows are old and ugly? If the widows that your husband choose to marry are still under their 20s, and in their peek of beauty, then i’m sure you’ll find another reason to make it haram. And also there is nothing wrong about men follow their desire when it comes to marriage. Rasulullah wifes was most of them beautiful and young, only number of them were old. So what are you talking about. Just fear Allah and obey. Not obey something that only follows your desires.
I been saying the same thing. Hypers*xuality does not make a man polygamous. It just makes him hypers*xual. Polygamy is about honoring women, and having a family structure in society that is well thought out so children can associate with their own lineages happily. I don't know how a lot of men have made it about their drives. I'm also glad that you brought up women's nature. Somehow women are supposed to control their nature but men are supposed to give into it? 😂 Brothers need to leave polygamy to men who are built for it. Who are compassionate, responsible, and resourceful. Brothers who do it because of their drives tend to be 5x divorcees, and they create so many broken households due to the fact that they're not problem solvers nor are they good at conflict resolution.
I actually loved the way you put it. But men don't want to think it that way I guess. They like to say stuff like "We are polygynous so we are gonna take it. We desire it, we WANT it" I don't see them talking about intention at all. At least not in a comment section.
@@IbrahimHassanDayTradeMaybe because your judgemental circle doesn't permit for such conversations to take place. It's news to you that women also have desires and fantasies?
I have a lot of issues with this video. First off, the whole multiple wives thing is not mandatory in Islam. It’s allowed. That’s it. Your current wife not wanting you to find a second wife is not keeping you for your religious obligations. Your not mandated to marry more than one women at a time. The whole narrative of this conservation seemed to give that impression. Secondly, there also an impression that a widow or divorcee would benefit from being a sister wife. What makes you think these women aren’t able to get remarried to single men? I know plenty. And this idea is women getting left behind being unmarried is ridiculous. There’s plenty of men that go unmarried as well. Additionally, it’s irrelevant if a guy has multiple wives or not, if a man wants to cheat they will. Men want to sleep with multiple women, yes, having a second wife or third or fourth isn’t a solution tho. Just because he may want to sleep with her doesn’t always mean he wants to marry her as well. And how pathetic would it be for a guy to marry a girl just cause he wants to sleep with her but keep it halal. Is he gonna get a new wife every time he gets bored ? Also, with the topic of being able to have more children with more wives… how many kids do you think most of these men realistically want to have anyways. I know women who have had 15 kids. You don’t need 4 wives to do that. Also why are we pretending that men, especially men in the west can even afford more then one wife. Rent and/ or mortgage is expensive enough as it is. Imagine having to pay double or triple. It’s absurd. I’m not saying that polygamy is haram but being such a hard core advocate for it is a little off putting. It’s not something necessary or applicable in the Westen world. Men will go hard to advocate for multiple wives out of complete selfishness not because their religious. That’s an excuse.
Their literally not hardcore advocates they never went around trying to make people to just do it. You on the other hand clearly hate that idea. Your text is full of hate towards polyginy even if you dont insult it is something anyone can read out of your text. Also whats wrong with him marrying just to have it in halal? Its a good quality if he fears Allah and does it in halal bc of that theres nothing pathetic about it
@@mehmet20003 because you literally marrying someone just to sleep with them. That’s corny af. And yes their hardcore advocates. You can tell by the way they speak about it and how they try to dismiss any reasoning someone might have for being against it.
@@mehmet20003 these four men ask for donations, contributions for giving dawah, how are they taking care of wives and children. (not just them most men are)
People dont talk about the impact it has on the children, all through their different stages in life. The father role is crucial for both boys and girls, if his only showing up 2 days a week because he needs to distribute his time with his other wives and children, this will have a negative impact on the children.
I think one thing they and a lot of Muslim men tend to dismiss when talking about this topic is that men nowadays are not doing it correctly-which in turn hurts the woman. Another main issue that I’ve noticed is that just because it is halal, a lot of Muslim men expect a woman to accept it, guilt trip her or will make her question her faith because it is not her preference. Just because turkey is halal doesn’t mean I want to eat turkey. I would want them to discuss this with Honest Tea Talks because they really show the woman’s side to this and how it affects her. All I usually hear from men is defending it and saying that it is allowed in Islam and for women to just be patient and accept it. I don’t think that’s realistic.
Anyone who dislikes Allah's decreed law is a poor believer. Practising polygyny which basically comes from the man's fitrah what will help him to guard his private parts from zina. Moreover which is the sunnah of our beloved prophet peace and blessings upon him. So comparing this to eating turkey which is just a mere food is complete nonsense. You seem to much-hating men over not practicing polygyny the right way why don't you talk about the women who intentionally create fitnah in their polygynous relationship and go after men like you and call them out and say that they don't practice it well
@@farhidahmed4473 there was not one part where I said I dislike it. I think it works for some people. It is made SUNNAH for those who want to practise it not FARDH. So those who prefer not to should not be expected to want to do it in the same sense of it being required. A lot of Muslim women are made to question their faith (in the same way you commented) when it is her RIGHT in Islam to not want it. The option is there for those who want to do it hence using the turkey example. I don’t think Muslim men should be pressuring women to be in a polygamous marriage when they don’t want to be and just writing it off and saying it’s for her own good. You can’t be so blind to see that Muslim men LOVE this sunnah above others. The issue is that that they expect women to advocate it in the same way that men do. Which naturally won’t be the case for most women.
@@etattainments Lets be real no women going to say that they dislike or hate polygyny because they don't want any Bash but deep down they do and they escape it by saying I have no problem with it if its practiced well blah blah .... but I don't want my men to do it there's the problem if you no problem with it then practice it and make this sunnah a norm . 1.Polygny is not fardh but it can become fardh for a man. 2.Those women who divorce or threaten their husband to divorce their husband because he wants 2nd wife this means she is a poor believer she hasn't submitted to Quran completely and I don't see any wrong questioning their submission to the deen. Moreover divorce claims are invalid according to the majority of salaf scholars if a woman just want divorce because her husband got a 2nd wife. 3. We don't pressure woman we just want them to accept something which is in our deen. And as muslim we expect that from muslim woman. But it seems too much for them that they try to trouble their men intentionally so he could not keep up with 2 or more wives and then escape goat by saying that men cant practice it well and even some go to the extent to degrade sisters who are practicing it. And yes woman can no to a marriage proposal but saying no just because of he wants practice something which Allah has made halal for him so he could keep his chastity so where does put that women actually. 4. Yes men love this Sunnah over other sunnah's because as men we love access to multiple women and this doesn't make a muslim man any less of a muslim for liking it more than other sunnah's. May Allah give us the strength to follow more and more sunnah's.
It's a double edged problem. Not remotely one sided. Most women who would never accept their husband having a second wife would accept their husband having a porn addiction even though the latter is haram. Most of the same women who have 0 tolerance for a second wife will tolerate a husband who drinks alcohol or a husband who misses prayer. Sisters have to ask themselves (if they have a husband who *can* support more than just her) what is it that they are placing value in that makes them reject the idea outright? When the husband brings it up what is the first thought that comes to mind? Is it a thought about yourself and what you'll lose? Is it a thought about liberal ideas of equality? Do sisters ask their husband why and if so what do the husbands say in response? Do sisters should be asking their husbands the question proposed in the video.
I think it’s really ignorant to generalise that these women would be ok with men doing other stuff than polygamy or that women are pulling men away from practicing their deen if they practicing their right to one husband. I already mentioned that alot of men make women question their deen and use islam against them in order to practise polygamy which is also against Islam and is quite hypocritical. She has the right to refuse and not want it as he has the right to want it. You can’t pick and choose rights There is no compulsion in Islam. I think it’s also ignorant to ignore all the issues that Muslim women face from polygamy just because it’s sunnah because alot of men don’t practise it correctly. And I’m sorry you can’t always use the fitra of men as the ONLY reason why men should have a second wife because there are plenty of women that also have higher desires and pleasures and polygamy can cause problems for HER if she feels like she isn’t getting enough. But apparently to the Muslim world, that doesn’t exist. So yes it works for some ppl and doesn’t work for others for obvious reasons. But if women are coming out and saying here’s why it’s not working for us, it’s not right or Islamic to brush it off and say well too bad you have to accept it. 2. In regards to this, her not wanting him to have second wife doesn’t mean she is lower in iman. Its her right to want it or not. It’s like saying a man with one wife is lower in his iman. THIS idea here is what pushes women away from this thought because youre essentially using an OPTIONAL part of Islam against her and making her question her faith. THAT is the problem I have.
Islam is submission. Yes. But a wife doesn't have to accept or be happy with it. That's her choice and you can't change people's feelings. Best case scenario is to only do polygyny after the first wife has been consulted and if she is okay with it. If not, you are creating a possible recipe for disaster for her and the children you may already have. You are asking a person to w/in herself to accept a situation for her personal life which she doesn't want, which may be disruptive to her and the children's lives. A woman can accept polygyny as an Islamic practice but also not want it for themselves.
if a woman doesn't put conditions for polygyny in their marriage contract and then there is no need to consult her and making sure that she is okay with it or not informing her is more than enough, no women is going to be okay with it if we let it to the woman and a married woman cannot divorce her husband just because her husband got another wife the divorce in that case is invalid stated by prominent Salafi scholars. Polygyny is a prophetic sunnah the majority of the sahabas practiced it. In the comment above you wrote islam is a religion of submission I ask where is the submission when you are literally encouraging women that its okay if you don't want to pactice it. They have no say here as their man isnt doing something haram they should submit to the ayah have patience and try to fulfil the obligations of the marriage instead of wrecking nuclear homes by following their whims.
Polygyny obliterates your reliance on a man for your happiness and turns you directly to the True source of happiness and joy. Constantly living, embracing and experiencing Truth, keeping you awake at every moment, never allowing you to forget your purpose here on earth. A jihad for women. A mercy and blessing for women.
I think it's shameful that so much focus lays on a man's libido. Are you created for a higher purpose or are you created in order to fulfill your needs? Be patient. That is what Islam teaches. You'll get your reward in afterlife. Can't expect to get everything in this dunya, hiding behind the statement "but i will be more sinful with one wife" Allah is all knowing and just Alhamdulillah. Even if you try to fool yourself with "right intention", the Al'Aleem will know your true intention. People are struggling to keep themselves alive and yet men of our community decide to speak about their special needs of the lower part of the body.
what's wrong in that men want more sexual access and it is made halal and those who are very capable of practising it should do it they might end up helping some sisters who need a man so why not. And we don't live desert where you can just be patient and nothing would come around to make us fall in Zina doing Zina in some places even in some Muslim countries is cheap and simple to get access to and a lot of men like those would prefer a cheap prostitute/casual sex/side chick over having another wife in a halal way because they like nut on-in women without caring about the responsibility. So do you want men to fall in this trap?
Alhamdulillah their doing this. It is a part of Islam many reject and dont like. Islam is a whole package there no rejecting and accepting what you want and them making it clear that its something from us and shoudnt be looked down upon is good
@@farhidahmed4473 There is nothing wrong with wanting more sexual access. It is wrong to act upon your evil desire. However, the point is that it is more secure for a man to have one wife instead and focus on islam and be pious! Having four wives isn't about fulfilling your needs but to help the community and women and therefore you get your reward in paradise. You lower you gaze and have a good time with one wife. Those who don't listen to Allah, and don't lower their gaze will of course want to commit Zina and act upon their libido. You'll understand In Sha Allah what I mean when many men (with several wives) will come on judgement day like this: The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Anyone who has two wives and does not treat them equally will come on the Day of Resurrection dragging one part of his body which will be hanging down.” (Reported by the compilers of Sunan and by Ibn Hibban and al-Hakim).
@@mehmet20003 I like every part of Islam. That is why i said this, it isn't about ourselves always. Patience and piety is what is expected from us. Not fulfilling our every desire. This is dunya, not akhira.
@@MB-nf4zf you can fufill your desires as long as it is halal there nothing wrong with it be it dunya or akhira. We are created to serve Allah amd doing it in halal is an act of worship
Why do guys act like women have to pick between an unfaithful guy or a polygamist? Do you really think women are that desperate for a husband? Loyalty exist, you know 🙄.............Ladies you have options, don’t settle for this if you want more for yourself. You can find a loyal man that appreciates you, a man that is content with what he has and wants you and ONLY you.
@@farhidahmed4473 I don't think so, he isn't a cheater IF he tells her, but loyalty isn't a trait I would use to describe a man that has multiple wives.
@@naimam8212 So does the trait loyalty also doesn't go with these men as well Prophet Muhammad peace and blessings upon him and his companions who are the ummahs role models
@@farhidahmed4473 Ask yourself this. Is it hard/challenging to stay loyal to 4 women? When you are bored or frustrated with one, you can simply escape her and spend your time with the next woman available to you. A man that decides to stay committed to 1 woman, even when he could have more, can't do that. He sticks by her, even when she gets on his nerves, now that's loyalty.
@@naimam8212 First of all I don't let women or any external beings get on my nerves. now answer my question above or else you would leave me assuming that you think Allah aazawajjal decreed law is inhibiting men from being "loyal" to their only wife
Monogymy is the rule. Polygymy is the exception, one man having up to 4 wives, if he can be just. Polygymy can in certain circumstances be preferred. A man can increase the number of his offspring by having more wives, whereas a woman is limited by the number she can carry over a period of time. The man must be able to support each wife and child. He can also help widows and divocees with kids have a complete and stable home. If he has no control over nafs, then, at least polygymy makes him an honest man. Women suffer in these arrangements, but not as much if they were unmarried. and polygmy keeps society stable. Men should consider the pain they cause to their wives and whether their choice is ultimately worth it. Men should not underestimate the immense responsibility they undertake through polygyny. So polygyny is okay, but only as the exception. As a woman, I will resist my husband taking on another wife, up to the point where I feel it is futile, then I will make a decision to stay and accept it, or else leave for good. And my husband will have to accept this decision, which ultimately started with his action.
As long as everyone involved is happy with it and chooses that lifestyle, it’s fine. The problem is many Muslim men force this lifestyle on women who don’t want it
@@saimabachani6209 how just think rationally if it was the choice of women all women choose not to be in a polygynous relationship because women are monogamous but men are not atleast the majority that is very much predictable and if we talk about the women who divorce their husband if their husband married another woman that stated invalid by the majority of the salaf scholars and that is why I said it has nothing do with your choice its all about submission what Allah has decreed. Ask yourself women like you do they actually submit to the ayah or not and some of you even go to the extent of degrading the sisters who agreed to a polygynous relationship. may Allah save our houses from this kind of ignorance.
I think it's just a matter of age and maturity,ask a virgin and young woman if she will accept a second wife for her husband and she will most probably say no and ask a divorcee or widow that will she become the second wife and she will most probably say yes,for some women marriage is all love and intimacy while for others it might just be a necessity
@@Ginnyb6402 almost every single male I heard or see or knew consider polygamy a sign of manhood, I never heard any of them talk about helping other women who reached her 30's without gitteing married
Exactly and the second reason is exactly why polygamy exists. Not just to fill men’s desire. The purpose of it was to help women in need and protect them.
@@alishaaaax yes, in terms of Islam (for context). Simply, why would Allah mention orphans in the very same verse as the permission to marry multiple women. Polygamy is meant to solve problems, I think, not satisfy the pleasures of this dunya. It cannot end well if you marry another woman just because you want more sex. Marriage is a bigger commitment than just sex.
Justice is unachievable. Allah says so. I can honestly one 100% whole heartedly say that I would be okay with my husband taking another wife. But please don’t Insult my intelligence by telling me he will treat us equally. Just call it what it is. He has weak animalistic desires he can’t control. I’m fine with that. Don’t expect me to hold him in the same regard. Don’t expect my respect for him to remain the same. But I’ll accept it.
@@zikoha1239 By justice it means dont leave one hanging while attending to the other. It doesn't mean be 100% equal at every second. Allah has made this religion easy for us
It confuses me deeply when people nowadays talk about that topic, because they always say that men can have multiple wives if they want to. But doesn't Allah (s.w.t.) tell us in the Qur'an that multiple wives are ONLY permissible if it's ONLY for the sake of helping the orphans?? So why all this talk about why men WANT multiple wives? Humans also want to have premarital intercourse, but we don't do it because Allah (s.w.t.) tells us not to. And even then Allah (s.w.t.) tells us that one must be just with all of them which is impossible, hence why every believing Muslim should abstain from it if not necessary.
No it's not only to help orphans. The prophet ﷺ married many women and not all of them were orphans. Also by saying nobody can be perfectly just so nobody should do it, makes the revelation moot. One should strive to be just but the reality is that no human is capable of being perfectly maybe except for the Messenger ﷺ
@@hxyzazolchak exactly then only our prophet (pbuh) could do it cause he could do it perfectly. Other men are definitely not perfect so they shouldn’t strive as they will fall short. Men only want this so it is acceptable to sleep with other women that is the pure intention nothing else cause there is no way you’re going to look after all 4 wives in todays society with what money and resources people are struggling to feed one family
@@harialti9846 other sahabas and people who follow them were polygamous. Also nobody argues that most ppl now or then could afford it but those who can should be able to.
"Allah (s.w.t.) tell us in the Qur'an that multiple wives are ONLY permissible if it's ONLY for the sake of helping the orphans" No, Allah did not say that. Double check before lying in the name of Allah.
Men only see the advantage of polygamy for them. Most of them ignore the challenges coming with having kids with multiple women. Often times, the children are the victims. Go ahead and enjoy the halal sex at the expenses of your own children. There are guys who consider themselves sheikhs yet their daughters were rapped because Mr. Was too busy chasing the desires of this world. Go ahead and beautify polygamy but make sure you have a number of kids you can not only feed but also give the tarbiyah, the security and upbringing they deserve.
Polygamy is halal. Most men will want to marry youthful virgins, that’s just reality whether you like to accept it or not. Also in the community I come from the first wife is generally neglected, forgotten. I think men need to be educated on the importance of treating all the wives equally even if you prefer one over the other.
@@farhidahmed4473 well in the video they had used divorcees, widows etc for reasons why polygamy needs to be encouraged in the ummah. Realistically not many are searching for them to be their 2nd, 3rd, 4rth wife. No issues with marrying youthful virgins but let’s atleast be honest about it
@@idilthewesty7 realistically how many men are going to marry more one and yes men have inclination towards virgins and I count myself in that catagory of men as well and there is absolutely nothing wrong with it and when men are looking to get a second wife there looking for someone who are in need the most muslim polygyny marriages are men having multiple wives who are either divorces and widows so your statement is absolutely bogus.
I don't understand, then what does love mean to a man ? Do men who believe in multiple wives or girlfriends, do such men ever get jealous if any of his wives then flirt with other men ? The concept of men entitling themselves to multiple female partners whom they want to enjoy intimacy, means they can't be very emotionally bonded to such women, so can these men ever claim to have felt love or experienced love as an emotion that holds power and creates loyalty to that person?
Beautifull. I had a debate with my brother about this exact point because I too was curious and he told me that if a man felt true love towards his wife, he would take her feelings and possible hardships into consideration. However, if he didn't really trully care about her with true love, he would just go on about his day. This really opened my eyes about a lot of things.
@@hamzakamran2485 : It can't be real love or emotional bonding if he then cannot give up or sacrifice physical pleasures or intimacy with other women. Furthermore, it encourages men to devalue and ill-treat the other women because it simply means he feels ok to just 'use' them only.
@@creationsoffarzid1154 It is not love if women do it because men and women are different. However men have no problem sharing the love among wives and Allah ﷻ has stipulated it. Even in Paradise a man will have 2 wives according to a hadith in Sahih Bukhari. Further, its not 'using'. A man having intimacy with his wives is actually a reward as our Prophet ﷺ has taught us.
The issue with polygyny is that its not A commandement or an obligation its more like a proposition. If you are able do it and if not dont , This was actually meant to help womem hence the prophet PBUH encouraged men to marry: . Older women . Single mothers .widowed women But muslim men out here only choosing beautiful young virgin women from ages 12 to 25
The verse most commonly referred to with the topic of polygamy is Verse 3 of Surah 4 An-Nisa If you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, Marry women of your choice, Two or three or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess, that will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice. - Qur'an, Sura 4 (An-Nisa), Ayah 3 It is believed these Verses were revealed after the Battle of Uhud, in which many Muslim men were killed, leaving widows and orphans. Thus, many argue that these Verses have been revealed "because Allah was concerned for the welfare of women and orphans who were left without husbands and fathers who died fighting for the Prophet and Islam. It is a verse about compassion towards women and their children; it is not about men or their sexuality."
Love this video and y'all speaking facts. Going against polygamy and believing its not good practice is haram cuz Allah made it permissible and he's the only legislator. Monogamy is also allowed and that what I wanna have. Hopefully my future husband is ok with it. Monogamy and polygamy are both are allowed and u shouldn't criticize anyone who practice either of them
love this response ! if someone wants to have 2+ wives there’s nothing wrong with it, but for me personally i would only want a monogamous relationship. i’ll never go against Allah swt’s word but i also have my right of only wanting a monogamous relationship
@Probee no,however if you’re unhappy in your marriage you’re allowed to get divorced. so if him wanting a second wife makes me unhappy,and i communicate with him and he still wants one,it’s my right to divorce due to my emotional needs not being met.
@@shahidabdoullakhanzorovr1564 That’s fine and great to be treated equally. But that doesn’t matter to most women if they know they aren’t LOVED either equally or, more so what we want, the most. We wan his heart. His feeling. We want to know he loves us most. If we don’t have that, being treated fairly is only a concession prize. It’s like the participation certificate that feels meaningless. We’re in it for his heart. That’s what we want. Not the consolation prize. It feels like, ‘if he doesn’t love me the most then why does he even want me around? Just for additional company? Just for the occasional perk? What’s the point?’ I’d only go for that if I felt desperate, as in needing my bills paid or it’s the only way I could feasibly have a kid, or my life was situated so that I literally couldn’t or shouldn’t take on a FT husband so I was just using a shared husband for the intimacy - not the most desirable situation.
@@Marwadear512 it's not that you aren't enough. It's just a different type of love. An example I can give which is kinda cringy is imagine liking many different kind of fruits. Sometimes, you would prefer this fruit more for some reason while other times, you would prefer another.
@@hxyzazolchak I get it. I just don’t want to be one of those fruits. Doesn’t sound like an appealing way of life to me. He can be sufficiently content with the other fruits.
Alhamdulillah not all Muslim men out there actually want multiple wives. For instance, when my dear late mother (Allah yarhamha. Ameen.) encouraged my dear late dad (Allah yarhamhu. Ameen.) to remarry so we could have a stepmom if Ever she'd pass away at the time when Allah the Most Wise decrees but my father didn't like the idea of remarrying whether my mum was alive still or if she passed away before him (Allah yarhamhuma. Ameen.). So yeah some Muslim guys are actually very much contented with monogamy in the same way when the beloved Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam remained contentedly married to Khadija RadhiAllahu 'anha for a long time ~
your father might did it because he doesn't want challenges or responsibilities because having even one woman is counterproductive a man can love a woman all his life just like a man can love more than one woman but he cannot be content with her in all aspects and the prophet saw married more than 4 after Khadija (RA) died and polygyny is a sunnah moreover monogamy is a hard thing these at the maintaing multiple wives is also tough.
I think polygamy is obviously ok for people who are capable of it emotionally, financially, etc, but I am not. I want one husband and I will stipulate in my nikkah contract that if he tries to take on another wife that I will want to divorce so the marriage dissolves quickly. The reality!!! is that most men also just want 1 wife and can't possibly afford 2 or more so it's really not much of a concern. Every potential I've talked to has said 1 is just enough.
What if the problem is that I find it disgusting when a man goes from vagina to vagina, even if it’s done in halal way. It might not only be about love and possession as these things can easily disappear within a woman’s heart too. I just find it disgusting to sleep with a man that was using his instrument on another woman the night before
If don't give your vagina for your man whenever he wants then what should he do? If you don't want to loose your purity of sexual inter course between you and your husband then take care of it and be responsible as a matured woman who agreed with her husband in a contract. Leave your disagreement with your outside the bedroom and give him a peaceful and affectionate sex and try to catch up with his vibe in sex don't do it like chore. And Don't dress or behave seductive to another men.
Interesting. "Western women have been programmed with who one women, one man thing" is not all the way accurate. Many of us have several relatives living in Muslim lands who've been first, second etc wives in polygamous marriages and these wives suffered during the marriage and even more after the husbands passed. They had multiple children, all in one home, all hungry and fell into very difficult and dishonorable conditions in order to eat. if polygamy was practiced as a social system to care for the widows, orphans, etc, more women across the board would embrace it. But it's been abused and many women do not benefit. Fast forward to nowadays in these modern times where masculinity is dying and being erased (feminism has also disrupted the nature of women, thats a diff topic) many Muslim men want multiple wives without even providing for one, on the contrary, they will marry single mothers and use their government assistance to leech off of them. Brothers need to do better. And sisters stop requiring less!
this is why im thinking of marrying a guy im not that attracted to or im not really in love with but who is pious and fears Allah so he’ll treat me and his other wives fairly and I won’t get jealous because im not attracted to him.
*Timestamps:* 00:00 - Join The3Muslims 00:11 - Introduction 00:28 - Why Men have to marry multiple wives? 01:52 - Love of a Woman vs Love of a Man 03:02 - Anghel shares his thoughts on Polygyny 05:03 - Importance of Intention 05:45 - Women being against Polygyny 07:34 - The Fitrah of Men vs Women 09:25 - Problems with Polyandry 12:02 - Muslim Women on Polygyny 13:51 - Arguments for Polygyny 17:14 - Reasons for Men practicing Polygyny 25:51 - Importance of Tawakkul 27:09 - Pushback against Polygyny today 29:19 - Practicing Polygamy: Men vs Women 31:34 - Polygyny in Older Generations 32:34 - Modern practice of polygyny by Mormons 34:24 - Benefits of Polygyny 38:14 - Issue of Men not Stepping Up 40:35 - Taking your own Desires as your God 43:38 - Islam operating in a Western Framework 44:46 - Submission in Islam 45:47 - Closing Remarks 48:37 - Wrapping Up 48:48 - Join The3Muslims 48:58 - Outro
Guys, first of all, thanks for the podcast. However, what I think you didn’t really touch on was that the majority of men want multiple wives BECAUSE of their Nafs, and there’s nothing wrong with that if they are also following and completing all the other rights. Also, if they are taking multiple wives for this reason, they are doing it to protect their chastity which means their intention is fine. Also men have higher testosterone levels so in general we have a greater need for physical intimacy and wanting a variety of women
Men don’t understand that this is exactly how women feel. No woman wants to come home and compete for their husband’s love and attention. It’s already hard to find a partner and keep them these days let’s not make it more difficult and remember our religion restricted it to 4 wives cause at the time there were kings and such that had 300 wives so Allah restricted it to 4 that doesn’t make it a good idea. Men want loyalty so much from women and if you find that why wouldn’t you admire that and women want the same thing from their husband loyalty!
Nah. That’s how women operate. The biggest flaw is modern women buying the fairytale that men = women and so they project their perspective onto a man’s.
@@The3Muslims with all do respect brothers I’m not a modern woman, not a feminist, none of these leftist ideologies but just a mature older lady with a thought, but are you not a man projecting your perspectives on women as well, because polygamy (didn’t say it didn’t work) only benefits the man that is why it’s a more discussed topic amongst men, and yes it had its benefits in the past but don’t forget the shaitan is wrecking homes continuously in todays society with divorce on the rise I’m just saying that both men and women should focus on one marriage and strengthening their deen instead of focusing on polygamy, just my opinion thank you
@@harialti9846 with polygamy not only men benefit but the women he marries too and her family(if she has kids). As you said it’s already hard to keep a man now-a days and I’ll add that there is hardly any good men so where does that leave the many women who are looking to marry but all the good men are taken and by wives who refuse to share. Frankly it leads to two things imo which is women having affairs with married men or women aging still looking. And as men become weaker and less worthy of marriage in our times and even worse so in the future where are you leaving those women. Soo many good sisters(and sisters increase in numbers)and so little good men. It doesn’t only benefit the man, the man just lays the foundation;I think women need to focus loving themselves more than a man because majority of women today love their men more than themselves and even their kids(a great number who choose their men over their kids) so much so loves a kid’s stepfather even if he is abusive. If you love a guy over yourself you wont accept polygamy,and lets be frank the 1st reason isn’t because he’s mine rather,aren’t i good enough,its all about them and frankly it’s being insecure(this is diff to jealousy which is natural although some can go crazy and do evil things). Just don’t give him your all to begin with. And yes, of course i know jealousy is natural but if you see it as Revalation along with knowing what you want and need you can be smart. Infact rest and have a bad hair day for when its nit your turn. And women think he cant love more than one,thats not the case its only jelousy thinking. Im not saying polygamy is for every man and its not play and that the lives of others and your kids are in the picture but it still doesn’t take away the fact that women amd society as whole benefit from it. You wont find alot of illegitimate kids running in society and even incest ad they don’t know who they’re from. Every one in that society must know their lineage. This fixes it. Bytw im a women not a man.
@@RochelleHa It's not hard to keep a man, if you failed at keeping a man that is your fault, not the man's. Men are extremely simple, belly full balls empty. If you can't even do that then there is no one to blame but yourself
It's so hard to find a partner, that you think everyone will be able to find a decent, reliable, solid guy without possibly having to become the second, third, or fourth wife to do so? Good luck with that...
Allahuma Barik! Jazakum Allahu Khiran for this insightful episode! SubhanAllah! Allah (SWT) says “Perhaps you dislike something which is good for you and you like something which is bad for you. Allah knows and you do not know” (Al-Baqara:216). May Allah grant us understanding of the Deen Ameen!
i understand the perspective and the reasons of polygamy… but me personally,before i commit to a spouse, that will be the first thing i ask about. i wouldn’t want to take his islamic rights away of having multiple wives so i would need to clear that up beforehand. for me personally i would even be too jealous if another girl looked at my husband 😭 wallah i would just be unhappy in a relationship like that. so although i understand the reasoning of polygamy,that doesn’t mean every woman has to accept their husbands being polygamous. my father and mother love each other through thick and thin even after 30 years!! my father even said he could never imagine having another wife. a guy asked for my hand and told me he only wants one woman…people forget having one wife is sunnah too. the prophet married khadijah (ra) and her only until she passed. may Allah swt bless you guys,i love all your videos. but to say men “need” more than one wife or can’t be monogamous is disregarding of exceptions
Sameeee sis, i have been looking this topic quite alot cuz I’ve curious about it and want to remove my misconceptions or prejudices of it and to educate myself about it from the deen aspect of it all I would say is I wouldn’t shame muslim women or men for wanting it but feel like it would be way too much challenging for me and would prefer if l find a man who’s content with one but who knows we are human beings with thoughts and opinions constantly changing.
@@AnoushaSpeaks i know a lot of women who actually prefer if their husband has more than one wife!! i see it all the time,and it’s valid for a women to want a monogamous relationship as well. every single guy i have talked to wanted a monogamous relationship so it’s not too much to ask…if you make dua for someone monogamous Allah swt will grant you just that :)
@@sanaaaaa The men you're talking to are either (1) monogamous out of necessity, meaning they would struggle greatly to convince another woman to be a second wife either because of average finances or other deficiencies or (2) they're claiming to be 'monogamous' because it makes a woman happy to hear. No man is monogamous if given the option not to be.
@@ahmedalmahdi9254 no, there are rich, handsome, capable... etc of these alpha men fiddle stick [ and I'm describing in it that way bcz your way of talking tell what kind of thoughts and " logic" you're effected by], but still want to go in this life alone with their woman .
MashaAllah great discussion. It would be great to see a continuation of this discussion in how polygyny could be practiced in a practical sense. It would also be great if you guys went into detail and discuss how the Prophet SAW dealt with polygyny as he is indeed the greatest example for mankind to follow.
So many middle aged woman in there 40s are single and childless like me. I wouldn't care to share a husband if it meant I had children. Now I'm childless and lonely. The purpose of woman on earth is to have children otherwise we will die out as a human species. We weren't born to work like dogs because these feminist want us to. These feminist have broken up families and there structures for what ??? Equality. How can a man be Equal to a woman since Allah made us different
okay but really I dont understand , I want to, i want to change what i feel when I think of my man possibly sleeping with another woman. it physically hurts. my heart actually aches though. I do not feel that 'desires' is a justifiable reason. As someone who is willing to go to the ends of the earth for my man and do and try all sorts to keep it exciting. What could he be possibly missing out on? what desires am I not able to fulfil. It actually physically hurts and makes me feel like i am not enough. When it comes to the topic of divorsee and protecting a community etc, i see more reason in this, this I can perhaps swallow it a little more easily. It is not that I disagree with the deen or don't believe in it. Please, if another man wants to marry 4 and his wife are cool with it? please by all means go ahead I am not against the concept ofc athubillah i couldn't. However i do not want MY MAN to be do so because i can not handle the thought. Is that so wrong?
It sounds really painful from what you’ve just described. Especially you’re feeling of not being “enough”. It’s a struggle for many women to understand and accept for various reasons. Alhamdulilah at least you accept it as part of the shariah of Allah. A friend of mine had issues with this and was extremely jealously and she decided to make dua to Allah to make it easy for her and remove whatever was in her heart that was blocking her from fully embracing it. Her dua was answered and she helped her husband marry a 2nd wife. Im not suggesting you do this or have to do this but there is a principle in our Deen - dua is the key to everything. The other thing is to consider the reasons why you automatically think a man wanting other women sexually means you are somehow not enough. Most women simply do not understand the nature of men and that they were designed to be polygamous. It was the norm up until only about 300 years ago. Monogamy used to be the exception not the norm. Men desire women and women are meant to be desired by a man. Often times women believe a man is supposed to belong to them in a possessive way and they place that man before Allah. This complicates the relationship whether there are more wives involved or not. No one belongs to anybody - all belong to Allah alone. And Allah is meant to be everyone’s one true love. The major issue with people (in this context women), is that they get attached to their husbands when they are only supposed to be attached to Allah. We connect with our husbands. Attachment and connection are two totally different things. We aren’t even supposed to get attached to our children - we are supposed to connect with them. It’s a lot of learning but it’s achievable and makes life in this dunya liberating. What people don’t understand is that attachments lead to enslavement and Islam came to free the creation from being enslaved to every created thing (including themselves), and direct them to honourable enslavement to Allah alone. All the best on your path towards learning dear sis. 🌿
Anas bin Malik reported: The Messenger of Allah, ﷺ , said, “If the son of Adam had a valley full of gold, he would want to have two valleys. Nothing fills his mouth but the dust of the grave, yet Allah will relent to whoever repents to Him.” Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 6439, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 1048 I'm sure reasons vary and not every man knows exactly why but for me it is like a woman wanting to be a mother and having 1 child. Loving that child is what you enjoy more so than being loved by that child. Often times just 1 child is not enough. Often times women have more love to give. They'll want to have another baby or even adopt. That isn't because they don't receive enough love from their first child. It's because they want to give more love to another. I believe even in the absence of an ability to articulate this most men are this way. The pleasure we get comes from giving love more than receiving it and the more we give the more fulfilled we feel. If you had the resources and the time wouldn't you adopt and take care of every child in need on the planet? Wouldn't you feed every stray kitten starving in the street if you could? If it were sustainable to do so? If a man could marry every woman on the planet and treat them all justly and keep them all safe, happy and on the path to paradise he would do it. The only thing more satisfying than doing for others is doing for others for the sake of Allah. As far as not being enough for your husband. That's an issue of humility. Did you think you could ever be perfect? If your husband tells you that you're perfect you know he's lying because perfection was never possible. You should be competing for good deeds not competing to be the number 1 wife in the world. Even if you aren't enough to be his only wife you are still enough to be one of 2 out of billions. Even if it hurts to share him does it hurt more than giving birth to a child? Does it hurt more than it'll hurt if one of your children passes away before you? You love your children enough to endure giving birth. You love love your children enough to risk having to lose them when you could avoid the possibility by just not having any. Why wouldn't you be able to fathom loving your husband enough to endure having to share him?
@@BruvahSulaiman I can’t speak for all women, but this type of love you describe from a man, just isn’t the type of love that I want. I’m not attracted to this kind of love. That’s the problem. We view love differently and men want it to be one way and women another. And yes sharing a man hurts more than giving birth to a child. My oldest was a 72-hour birth with no medicine or intervention. Yes that hurt less than sharing the man I love. And the more I love my husband, the less I can endure sharing him. The less I love my husband, the greater the chance I’d be ok to share him. We also think differently than men do in this regard as well.
i'm single almost 40yrs old already have job, house and a man ask me for polygamy which i said i'll ask my parents, but they difficult to accept because the man is a foreign from different country.. I'm still making dua to Allah to ease everything..
It's not love if you want many. It's like a contractual relationship instead. If you like many women then your wife should be allowed to have lots of men as well. And if you hate it, neither you should take another lover.
We all recognise what value and respect and power means to each of us, likewise, in a marriage , a woman /wife wants the same things, to be valued, respected and to experience what power might mean. So it should not be too hard to understand that being the only wife equates to the meaning that all the power and attention will be go to the one person, that the wife can feel valueed and respected. This is why women don't want to be in a multiple wife situation.
And just like the other way around men can feel more valued and respected if he has more than one wife as the wives would give him their attention to him more as half the time more/less he will be with the other wife.
@@farhidahmed4473 : Men don't have to have many wives to feel value and respected, as the one wife can give him all that, however he is just greedy and not satisfied with the one wife, mainly due to lust rather than a need. Men also have an economic role in Islam, in otherwords, he goes out to work whereas the wife does not have to work in an Islamic marriage, so the husband can obtain his value and respect from the outside world consisting of other men and society in general as well, but the wife does not receive exposure if she stays at home. So it is very important for the wife who is in such a role to be valued and respected by her husband. Now adays he doeasn't even like being the financial provider in a marriage and then goes sampling other women undercover, in the haram way. I am not against this law of Islam, because ISlam places the right amount of balance and responsibility to it, however men don't do it for Islam, they do it for lust or power squablles against the wife or one or two of the wives.
@@creationsoffarzid1154 there is nothing wrong with having desires and if it is fulfil on halal manners men naturally have higher libido than women in general so they want sexual access to more woman and as it is made halal up to 4 if he thinks he can take care of his wives rights he can proceed Allah made it halal for a reason there is nothing being greedy to guard your chastity from zina it doesn't even need to be for the purpose to financially help a woman but if someone does that then its more better the brother will get reward for both guarding his chastity and helping a nisa . And as you said men go sampling other women because society or it would he better if say women have made it harder for men to practice polygyny thus they are only harming themselves. And a wife is well respected in her household if she obliged herself what islam says obey the husband until he said you to do something haram instead of following her whims.
@@farhidahmed4473 : My paragraph informed you that the modern Muslim man or corrupt Muslim man (which is most Muslim men are these days) don't opt for, 'halal' methods ie by marrying, they opt for illegal or 'haram' methods to 'sample' women outside of their marriages rather than marry the extra woman. You are talking as if such men are happy to marry, no they are not, because they don't want to spend the money for getting married to another person, because they want it 'easy' without care , responsibility or cost, that is why I called it , 'lust'. 'Lust is just about physical gratification without the care for the human mind and heart that the woman is made up of. Since when does a man who samples many women ever have the capability to love ? Yes Allah allowed 4 wives in Islam inorder to solve many social /society related problems but men do not marry 4 to please Allah or for social welfare reasons, or to save women from homelessness, they simply don't care about these. What they care about is only their selfish- physical interests.
@@creationsoffarzid1154 from where the hell did you get this statistics that most muslim man just want to lay down and nut in and on woman just to sample seriously where did you get this do the most muslim men in your surrounding doing it those who are doing because they find easy obviously as people made the haram easy and halal hard. And again lust what lust means sexual desire we can also have that for our wives and practicing polygyny even for only ones sexual urges is not wrong the person who practice polygyny for sexual desires even he will be rewarded by Allah because if he wanted he could please himself through haram means but he feared Allah and choosed what is permitted. What is the problem with people that they see desires or lust even if it is fulfilled in haram manner you people still looked at it in the wrong way. I mean WTH!
I’m a Muslim and i have been approached by Muslim men who are wealthy good looking and married and looking for a 2nd wife and I laughed and told them hell no!!! 🤣 It’s dirty situation for me and comes down to mens D and I will not be a part of hurting another woman as well.Allah sees I have good heart
@@mehmet20003 what she is trying to say is that men dont mind hurting their own wife for their sexual desire and getting a 2nd wife but she would mind being the sidechick (bcuz 2nd wives are considered sidechicks) and hurting that man's wife.
What if a man is married to a disabled believing woman who can't join him in bed? Should he just continue to be the model husband to his incapable wife and live out the rest of his days without sex? What if a wealthy man marries a woman who has suffered much trauma in her life and being a husband to her is a heavy burden for him but he doesn't get much out of it? Should he abandon that sister to be with one that can be a better wife to him? If Allah provided a way for him to have a wife that brings him peace and keep the wife that gives him grief then why should he not remain committed to and loyal to the first wife and marry a second?
@@BruvahSulaiman he knows what's he's getting into when he marry a disabled woman, but yes Allah (SWT) Allow him to have others to fulfill his desires so long he won't unjust his 1st wife
Have to really understand what Allah says "Marry 4..if you can't afford then just have one wife".. meaning that Allah emphasized man to marry one only . Wallahuaklam
The Quran absolutely puts major stipulations on polygamy, everyone always forgets to mention the first part of the verse referring to polygamy as a means of caring for orphans and widows! It's not about sexuality it is about a protective social system.
I think a lot of men would be willing to accept women who are divorced or widowed if they knew that the woman would respect them as if they were their first choice. I hear too many stories on how women would be free an more accepting of doing certain things for men they found to be the most attracted to versus not doing those things with men they feel like the settled for.
I’m divorced and my fiancé is definitely my first choice. I’m head over heels for him. The last marriage ended for reasons. It’s over. Not sure why people think we’re always hung up on our ex? My ex is like my brother and I’m like his sister. There isn’t even for a second, ever, any more feeling than that. My fiancé however is my Emir.
@@Marwadear512 alhamdulillah sister, may Allah bless your marriage. We don't all think that women are hung up on there ex, we find out by letting the women talk and seeing if they're still mentally and emotionally attached. The point of my comment is to highlight to women that they need to treat their husbands like they were the women's first choice and not to reserve themselves just because they couldn't get their "first choices." If my comment/point doesn't apply to you, then alhamdulillah, you don't need to justify yourself to me.
I mean it’s as simple as this, Allah SWT allowed it, equally before marriage we discuss terms. Both parties need to be clear on what they want. There is an agency here in the UK, over 3,000 sisters 30-50 years of age, divorced and with child open to polygamy. We are all open to our own choices as long as Allah SWT has allowed it and we stay out of Haram.
The issue with polygyny is it's also excessively accommodating men. Example: husband must divide his time and resources amongst x 2,3 or 4. In the husbands absence who are we to assume that wife and children are always able to be programmed according to the man of the houses schedule. There will be nights when the children will need their dad more than other nights and likewise for the wife. How entitled are men to constantly expect women and children to accommodate men and their activities outside the home. Women and children can not predict and plan ahead of time when they need dad at home. There is a current alarming amount of unfaithful sisters, fatherless homes, divorce and disposable spouses and children all in the name of polygyny and accommodating men and other women outside the home.
Women; if you dont like this just make a marriage contract stipulating you dont want it. End of conversation. You don’t need to enter a contract you don’t want. You are the one consenting to it.
Its not about consent,the discussion is about the concept and reality. The west makes you think that marrying your cousin is sick and conceive disabled kids. Rather their society is full of illegitimate kids and incest between people because many don’t know their lineage,especially in this time. I think you should let women make up their own minds instead of giving an encouraging comment for women to continue rejecting polygamy. I don’t think you or anyone else who discourages it can bring back their youth whilst they’re in disgust of polygamous marriage. Its a deep topic and i think we should leave them to it. Ima women btw not a man
@@RochelleHa im reminding women that they have a say in their marriage. Whether society accepts it or not is none of my concern and neither should it be for you. Society also frowns upon divorcees and widows but I don’t see these brothers here defending these women. Men who want to practise polygyny can do so at their own accord. Society doesn’t need to pat them on their backs for it 🙄 sensitive era we live in where men are too scared of social repercussions. Thats just part of it. Deal with it.
"Women; if you dont like this just make a marriage contract stipulating you dont want it." what makes it permissible to make polygamy impressible in a contract ?
@@lillyypondsxz8027 "im reminding women that they have a say in their marriage" false equivalency, females dont have a "say" about the legislation of Allah. muslims are required the "hear and obey". "Whether society accepts it or not is none of my concern and neither should it be for you. " your statement is ironic. the irony is in your rejection of polygamy, your comment is most applicable to you. "Society also frowns upon divorcees and widows but I don’t see these brothers here defending these women." society should frown on divorced females, why should divorce be celebrated ? females who were rejected and deemed unqualified for marriage by other men should be frowned upon.
What is your stand on the issue, that sometimes when divorced or widowed women want to marry, the family of her ex husband wants the children. And because of this there are often times wars between families and the children suffer. So if the mother wants to marry, the children are often left with the grandparents or some families even take away the children from their mother. So what should a woman do in this situation? Where she has to put her children and her need to marry on a scale?
Its usually these male reverts who want multiple wives....even if they find a wife whom theyre 99% happy with still they lust after more....what does that tell you about the character of such men 🤮
Hmm...mashaAllah seriously important topic. I've seen it done properly in my family and the benefits of it alhamdulillah, but I've also seen it done wrong and the negative consequences of it. From a western perspective, as a child your only taught to be in monogamous relationship and that is what's normalised. Muslim families need to normalise talking and educating their kids about Islamic polygamy so it's not an alien concept. In alot Eastern and African countries, its something so normal. So definitely beginning the education from the home imo especially if your in the west 🤔. - You do find with time, women become more understanding and open to it especially if they are learning more about their deen, that's not to say they won't have some emotions about it which is normal. The test comes with how your able to deal with those negative emotions. Do you feed into them or do you learn to control them. At the end of the day your on this earth to please Allah and not give in to your nafs. The battle of the heart over the mind. - Definitely need to show good examples of familes on how it is done correctly because its common to hear negative stories. Looking forward to the next inshaAllah 😎 lets see how deep we can get as there's alot more to it ⚡️
Just because you can doesn't mean you have to,especially if its not discussed with the first wife before going into marriage! Women have a right to disagree and if they are fine with loosing one over the other then let them marry!
Salam alaykum everyone. Anghel should speak more because he has very interesting things to say on a general basis... As a woman, I started watching the 3 Muslim's videos to understand the male perspective of gender roles, masculinity and gender dynamics. I'm puzzled by men's interest today for multiple wives and let me explain why. Like anghel beautifully mentionned, the hikma of the verse to marry multiple wives is an amana from Allah for those that are already close to him maybe because the responsability of such a task is not one that all men can handle and only the ones close to Allah can recognize this fully. When Allah says to marry only one woman if men feel they can not be just with more wives, He Subhannah wa taala is inviting us first and fore most to know ourselves. How on earth can we know if we are able to bear a situation if we don't know our strengths, our weaknesses, our psychology, etc. In my opinion, people rush into seemingly ideal situations because it looks good or feels good without taking into consideration the bigger purpose. Allah invites us to press the pause button and contemplate the reasons we seek these situations in the first place. In my opinion, familities and society are falling apart due to an identity crisis (lack of purpose and value) as well as past unresolved traumas experienced first hand or that have been passed down. I don't think polygamy is the tool that will fix society. But I do think polygamy will be rightously practiced once society will heal itself from it's traumas and Muslims will build themselves to be consciously aware beings with balanced self confidence and self value. I have the impression that in today's society, where image plays such a crucial role in social interactions, men more so use polygamy as a way to be seen, respected, admired as a way to fulfill a duty. Allahu 3alam.
Oh my, yes as a woman it's true, they'll double it, this is all old testament It was because my husband(now ex) was out trying to find a second wife. ..or well hoped for . No basis on why he wanted this except that he said " it'd be less work for you"
I heard polygyny is not sunnah or bidah. As far the Quran goes, it highlights men to be just, if you are not just than women are allowed to leave according to the islamic procedures. ALLAH WILL JUDGE YOU IN TERM OF JUSTICE NOT HOW MANY YOU MARRY. You should know if your wife is emotionaly capable to take this news and it is justified to her children. If she is not, then it is you are answerable to Allah not she.
First, Allah promotes monogamy and always did. It was the culture at the time where men were taking as many wives as they wanted and it was God who wanted to put a stop to that. Then, the battle of Uhud happened where many men died. Because of this many widows and children were left abandoned. So God allowed men to take on up to 4 wives to equally provide resources. HOWEVER “Muslims” conveniently leave out the part where God said this is only acceptable in the CONTEXT of war and tragedy. Meaning a shortage of men. So no you cannot call yourself a good Muslims and promote polygyny. You cannot make decisions with self-serving and indulgent motives in any religion. Today there is no such context that allows for multiple wives. There is no shortage of men, and there are many ways to find resources. We are not of the times where this advice applies. Just because something is legal doesn’t make it God’s way. If you are actually interested in following God’s way then here are Allah’s words: “Monogamy is the only ideal state of marriage in Islam.” “We made you in pairs. When we made you, we made your soul mate.” Lust after your partners in a loving committed marriage and don’t misrepresent Allah’s words for your personal selfish gratification.
These brothers speak the harsh truth of the society really respect you and value you brothers. May Allah protect you all and always stand by the truth Todays situation is when the first wife knows everything about her husband and then claims that she loves him so much and knowingly she happily pushes him into hell by saying that you can go against Allah but don't go against me and the children also supports her too and the saddest part is that the man himself ready to goes against Allah's, order and fitrah.he know he gonna be in trouble in akhrat still fulfilling his desires in a haram ways because he is coward no fear from Allah he fears from society ,wife ,kid and family he doesn't want any chaos May Allah make us among those who only fear from Allah
It's like many sisters who are honest are saying, up the standards and normlize it, its sick ppl will accept Qom Loot but not accept a good Sunni man. Then they wonder why nisa are majority in the Nar.
Why do men want multiple wives ? Maybe because as believing men they want to try to emulate their prophet a.s in every way of life ; I.e practicing polygyny . Prophet Muhammad a.s is their role model ; therefore attaining Allahs love and blessings by following his prophet a.s as He ordered us to do.
on what do you base the statement that it is "not really possible" for a woman to love two men "at the same time"? You have presented zero evidence for this: nothing objective, nothing psychological, nothing scientific. Just a big fat nothing! You dont even have a personal viewpoint, because - u know - none of u are, or hv ever been, women! At least not as far as you have disclosed. This a truly lazy premise for a debate.
You jist dont hv any evidence for wht you say. Wht u r basically saying is tht u dont, or wouldnt like a many men, one woman scenario. Why not just say tht then! Men hv more power in society, so jist tell the truth which is: "we dont want this, we are stronger, we can impose our will."
And to any religious justification I would say to you tht there is virtually no historical corroboration that even Muhammad - left alone God - said anything in the Hadith. And if you believe there is, I wld direct you to the bang on Aisha in Bukhari 4788.
The reason many men want more than 1 wife is likely the same reason why many women want specific careers. They don't have to have careers. But they want them none the less. Probably the same reason many ppl want children. Having children isn't fard. But ppl want them none the less.
In the Bible, God commanded 1 man to 1 woman. The men of the Bible that had multiple women: Abraham, David, Solomon, Jacob, they were all curse/faced issues/God not pleased. And some of these men are also important in the Islam faith. What are the verses in the Quran that affirms polygamy?
I hope you really go into detail about what a man’s mind is thinking, like a play-by-play, detailed, to help us women understand. I hear the same generalized explanations over and over again and they really don’t help. I need to literally know what a man is thinking and feeling deep in his mind and heart to form a better understanding of why women should feel ok to live this way in 2022.
"Why women should be ok to live this way in 2022" Certain moral principles within Islam are fixed independent of time, it being 548, 2022 or 2500 is irrelevant and has no impact on polygamy. If you're going to argue that women get jealous and would ideally want monogamy, that's always been the case, it's clear from the Sunnah that the wives of the prophet (Peace be upon him) were jealous of each other and competed with each other to be liked more.
The most heavy part of your comment is ''why women should be ok to live this way in 2022''. Basically, what you are alluding to is the fact that times have changed thus the moral compass is calibrated by linear time so what is ok and what isn't is in flux. This is a genetic fallacy. It is a multifactorial topic as to why restricted polygamy can be conceivably positive in a society. The reason why many people are inwardly repulsed by this practice is because it is not 'normal' and Hollywood (and other media means) has normalized strict monogamy. Now who sets what is normal and what isn't? And also just because some of the time polygamy has been practiced in an ill manner does not necessarily mean the whole institution is nullified or should be repulsed at. Just because some women weaponize intimacy and children does not mean men should always avoid marriage. It is the same logic. Have you ever cared to look at women who are in a consensual polygamy marriage and is not miserable? And most men do not marry a second one, only the ones in a superordinate position with high Iman do. You could also argue that why do men need to protect and provide for women ....times have changed.
I don't agree with Gabriel most widow women didn't think about marriage cz they have other priority like raising her children please don't talk about women if no women there defend or correct mistaken idea about women
Of all the women I know whose husbands hv multiple wives, NONE are happy. Sad but true. Its just impossible I believe for any man to be able to treat all their wives fairly. Friend of mine was an unhappy 4th wife. Its always good BEFORE it happens. That said how many men take widows and divorcees as their subsequent wives with the intention to take care of them & their children? Most men who remarry just take single young women. Now the Prophet didnt show that by example. He married divorcees & widows mostly. So are our men really following the sunnah? Be honest guys. Most of you marry in multiples only for your nafs. Not to support the womenfolk who need your support.
Im not against it but man… idk to know that he’s with someone else or having a kid by someone else and God knows how she is as a person (from family experience it didn’t turn out too good). It would just hurt my heart. I think if I knew I couldn’t give him a kid or something like that it would be fine but if I had to choose I would be with someone who just wanted to be monogamous.
Masha’Allah great video . As a woman l truly believe that anything that’s halal and Allah allowed Alhamdulilah , it means it is beneficial for society . May Allah bless those men and women who practice it and who are courageous enough to be obedient to Allah and following the sunaah of our prophet Muhammad a. s .
Dear brothers thanks for having this debate and at least you acknowledged that women also have needs that must be fulfilled. Generally I feel a lot of men have no idea how to look after/fulfil the needs of one wife let alone more than one. If you treat one wife according to the Prophet pbuh's teachings then you're doing well. Sadly the only sunnah men think they need to fulfil is polygamy and a lot if men often use it as a threat to their wives. Alhamdulillah Allah swt has allowed it for the good of both men and women. The argument of there being more females than males is simply not true. The only place where theres a slight increase in female population is the older generation of females in the west as the age expectancy for males is slightly less and these older ladies are not interested in marriage in their 70s etc, so whether it needs to be encouraged I'm not sure. Also the argument for having more kids...Aadam AS only had one wife to start the population. You csn not keep producing so many kids that you have no time for their tarbiyah. Clearly there was a need for this previously when there were battles etc and lots of women were left widowed. I'm sure there's need for it in many families even now, there may even be a greater need for it in the future. Also polygamy was already there before Islam and I feel Allah swt limited to 4 rather than it being something new. It also comes along with a very severe warning that if you can not do justice between two wives than marry only one concluding this is more proper so you may not deviate from the right course. The main reason for males to want a second wife is for his own desires but maybe an extremely small minority would be doing it for the sake of Allah swt and may Allah swt bless them and their wives for this. As for divorced/widowed females there must also be divorced/widowed males, it doesn't just happen to women. There is a lot we could say about this topic but the male argument is usually very biased and weak. We should certain not make it hard for people where polygamy works for them. Its allowed alhamdulillah and if there's a need within the family (not just the man) than InshaAllah it will be rewarded immensely. May Allah swt forgive our shortcomings and accept all our efforts Ameen
I would actually prefer my future husband to have multiple wives. I get a break from him and can have me time. I would be a second wife or be fine with my husband having more than me as his wife.
@@mehmet20003 it would just lead to her having to take care of the kids more since the husband is not present however maybe this wouldn't make a difference to her since some men don't look after their children anyway but pick a good father sister, not just a man who leaves you alone with the kids you had together.
@@khadeejahassen So women like you didn't just stop at not wanting polygamy for yourselves, you actively try and shame/discourage women who have said they're fine with it. Pretty disgusting mentality.
Salam alaykom, you missed a point that in islam it's halal for women to put a condition of no polygamy, so technicly she is not force to accept polygamy...
I understand that's there's benefits to polygamy. But why doesn't anyone address the fact that many of the men that want to do cannot even be there for their current family? Also like Fatimah ra, she didn't want her husband Ali ra to marry again and the Prophet saw told him not to? And we have to also acknowledge that this isn't for every lady, and it doesn't show her low eemaan
Tell me ,approximately how much percentage of men can be in poligamous marriage ,if you know ,or do you think every man ,every single man(who identified himself as muslim,of course) is able to be in polygamous marriage ?
Assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullah wa barakartu 🙂 SubhanAllah I've been watching some of your videos. I'm a convert struggle at times and it's nice to see my brothers not running after dunya, getting realizations of the true reality of this dunya Our most blessed and most beloved prophet Muhammad s.a.w.s had multiple wives. As long as the brothers treat the ladies equally and there's love and respect, Alhudulillah In sha Allah for the sake of Allah's love for our most blessed and most beloved prophet Muhammad s.a.w.s we all get good spouses that help us grow in our beloved Deen and keep us safe and bring us into the love of our beloved prophet Muhammad s.a.w.s In sha Allah I hope for the sake of Allah's love for our most blessed and most beloved prophet Muhammad s.a.w.s that he guides us all and brings us into his mercy oceans and gives us good spouses who want this dunya to be filled with the love of the prophets s.a.w.s to the love of Allah the love of our prophet Muhammad s.a.w.s
He's promoting desire which is fodbidden in islam as main thing of test, a man of desire won't be hapoy with even 4...i think wheres the test for men if they can fulfil in dunya?? He's a revert so he's bringing his genetics in it. That's all.. Prophet when had serious mission never took more as it needed focus
I get everything but I like the confidence that they fully confirmed that men can LOVE (not talking about sexual , financial things talking about LOVE) 4 women equally 🤓🤡 and they give example of PROPHET SM pbuh knowing true well that they are nothing like him forgetting the fact monogamy is also sunnah and many PROPHETS example Musa A pbuh married only 1 women
interesting that the "assurance of paternity" exists in a polygamous (multiple women+ single man) relationship, but not necessarily in a monogamous relationship, and also not in a polygynous relationship of the opposite dynamic. a woman will always be certain that the child she births is hers, but not a man... even in a monogamous relationship? how is a polygamous relationship exempt from such risks? by no means am I a critic of polygynous relationships. i think its a beautiful thing for the right people and there are certainly benefits to it, if executed correctly, but the logic of paternity being questionable outside the multi-woman/ single man dynamic is beyond delusional. a woman can step out and get pregnant by anybody. regardless of posture or religious creed. older women's fitrah is no more or less corrupt than today's women. if its human nature, its human nature. the difference is that today's women have the choice to stand on their laurels. if they dont want it they can refuse it. days past, women had to submit, agree and obey. disobedience was a death sentence. they had no choice. they would either be killed or the lack of resources provided by a man, would kill them. it is a man's right to have multiple wives, yes. but it is not haram for a woman to refuse to be a part of the arrangement. the koran states that if theres a difference in position, and they have separated and come together again and tried to make amends, if it doesnt happen, then they are allowed to divorce and go their separate ways with no ill will. if men are moving under the guidance of Allah, and it is His will. then they should take care of any and every woman who is in need of a man, regardless of his attraction to her. the argument that it is a man's duty to take care of women and having multiple wives as his duty is invalidated by the fact that it is a choice and each additional wife is a choice, and it is a choice rooted in desire, not duty. if this were part of the dialogue between a man and woman on debating this topic, then it may make things easier. if Allah has decreed it and a man is supposed to have additional wives, then it will not be difficult. if it is written and we all follow Allah's guidance, then it will not be difficult. there are plenty of women who agree. it will be easy for them and their husbands, as that is what is written for them. this was fun.
Its so confusing today, in ancient times, life was simpler, it is believed that 95 per cent have high libido, my husband cheated l could not cope, having kids working being the main, bread winner... He was a gold digger, ran off, with another women, gave her kids...he was lazy. He has 16 children now....but his is not around to look after them...he is 70 and lives alone...😢I
They are giving out some ridiculous scenarios in this discussion to prove their point. I read some comments and agree that this sounds like a discussion where theses men are trying to convince women to accept polygamy. I accept it not because of this unbalanced discussion but because Allah SWT has allowed it with conditions and rules. That doesn’t mean women have to choose this lifestyle. To each his or her own choice right.
FR!!!!🥲
As a woman I feel jelousy thinking my man would be with another woman but I also think about the wisdom of of Allah, I don't believe that he would allow something that would be harmful to the woman , we women also become sad because we think that we are not good enough anymore , I think it's impossible to imagine why a man would want another woman while women only wants her 1 man so we are left to think that they just don't like us anymore and it's heartbreaking.
We pray that Allah gives us easy and a peaceful heart.
The competition polygyny encourages between wives is healthy. If you notice another wife is being more favored and think you are “not good enough”, you should work harder to be a better wife.
@@casebased8391 "competition between women"... Triangulation (manipulation) and quite literally *pimp culture*. How is it not obvious that the religion was created by men to benefit men?
@@casebased8391 healthy? says who?
@@jaydaallam8023 Allah swt wouldn’t make halal something that is unhealthy, especially something that is *sunnah* . Stop following feminism and follow Islam instead.
Many women want more than one man but they never say it.
Dear brothers. Make sure u have already make your first wife like a queen before even thinking about having another. Also, if ur wife doesnt agree, please respect her opinion. Even if its permissible, if it leads to broken relationship with your first wife, dont even think about it. For Allah's blessing is with good family.
If a broken relationship with the first wife means that the man is protecting himself from zina, and he is acting upon which has been prescribed by Allah SWT, then so be it.
@@yourfamilydoctor172 looooooooool
@@hewav9319 go see batman... Mr. or ms. Joker...
If she can make me feel like a king then she automatically becomes a queen I don't need to make her feel like that
This modern terminology of making her feel like a queen is vague and problematic, in some cases it implies she is walking all over you, rather you should make sure your relationships with your first wife is a good one and you don't have issues and you are good to her as the prophet saw was to his wives not that you make her a 'queen'. Secondly, she is in the wrong for ruining things when you have the right of getting a second wife. We talk endlessly about women's rights but we neglect men and this is one of their rights, if she doesn't like it rather he can make it easy for her and talk to her and adress negative emotions etc to make it better for her and give it time but ultimately it is allowed for men and this is the end of that
Polygany is NOT about what a man want, or a woman. Its about society. Its about the orphans, widows and the divorced. When men made it about what they want and desire it went down hill. Islam is about the betterment of society and taking care of the needy not the hawa. women desire to show their hair, but we don't because it's not about us its about Allah. Women could also want a man other than their husband or fantasize about two men, but we stop ourselves because its not about our desires its about Allah. Men really pretend like only they have desires for the opposite gender but forget women also in their nature salivates over different multiple men at the same time as well. But we choose Haya and purity because we choose Allah. Men are also supposed to choose Allah and THINK about who the ayah is mentioning: orphans, second hand possessions. Thats why the prophet married one second hand possession, widows and divorcees.
Do you think all widows are old and ugly? If the widows that your husband choose to marry are still under their 20s, and in their peek of beauty, then i’m sure you’ll find another reason to make it haram.
And also there is nothing wrong about men follow their desire when it comes to marriage. Rasulullah wifes was most of them beautiful and young, only number of them were old. So what are you talking about. Just fear Allah and obey.
Not obey something that only follows your desires.
I been saying the same thing. Hypers*xuality does not make a man polygamous. It just makes him hypers*xual. Polygamy is about honoring women, and having a family structure in society that is well thought out so children can associate with their own lineages happily. I don't know how a lot of men have made it about their drives. I'm also glad that you brought up women's nature. Somehow women are supposed to control their nature but men are supposed to give into it? 😂 Brothers need to leave polygamy to men who are built for it. Who are compassionate, responsible, and resourceful. Brothers who do it because of their drives tend to be 5x divorcees, and they create so many broken households due to the fact that they're not problem solvers nor are they good at conflict resolution.
Also I never heard women that’s wants two men bruh 😂
I actually loved the way you put it. But men don't want to think it that way I guess. They like to say stuff like "We are polygynous so we are gonna take it. We desire it, we WANT it" I don't see them talking about intention at all. At least not in a comment section.
@@IbrahimHassanDayTradeMaybe because your judgemental circle doesn't permit for such conversations to take place. It's news to you that women also have desires and fantasies?
I have a lot of issues with this video. First off, the whole multiple wives thing is not mandatory in Islam. It’s allowed. That’s it. Your current wife not wanting you to find a second wife is not keeping you for your religious obligations. Your not mandated to marry more than one women at a time. The whole narrative of this conservation seemed to give that impression.
Secondly, there also an impression that a widow or divorcee would benefit from being a sister wife. What makes you think these women aren’t able to get remarried to single men? I know plenty. And this idea is women getting left behind being unmarried is ridiculous. There’s plenty of men that go unmarried as well.
Additionally, it’s irrelevant if a guy has multiple wives or not, if a man wants to cheat they will. Men want to sleep with multiple women, yes, having a second wife or third or fourth isn’t a solution tho. Just because he may want to sleep with her doesn’t always mean he wants to marry her as well. And how pathetic would it be for a guy to marry a girl just cause he wants to sleep with her but keep it halal. Is he gonna get a new wife every time he gets bored ?
Also, with the topic of being able to have more children with more wives… how many kids do you think most of these men realistically want to have anyways. I know women who have had 15 kids. You don’t need 4 wives to do that.
Also why are we pretending that men, especially men in the west can even afford more then one wife. Rent and/ or mortgage is expensive enough as it is. Imagine having to pay double or triple. It’s absurd.
I’m not saying that polygamy is haram but being such a hard core advocate for it is a little off putting. It’s not something necessary or applicable in the Westen world. Men will go hard to advocate for multiple wives out of complete selfishness not because their religious. That’s an excuse.
Their literally not hardcore advocates they never went around trying to make people to just do it. You on the other hand clearly hate that idea. Your text is full of hate towards polyginy even if you dont insult it is something anyone can read out of your text. Also whats wrong with him marrying just to have it in halal? Its a good quality if he fears Allah and does it in halal bc of that theres nothing pathetic about it
@@mehmet20003 because you literally marrying someone just to sleep with them. That’s corny af. And yes their hardcore advocates. You can tell by the way they speak about it and how they try to dismiss any reasoning someone might have for being against it.
@@mehmet20003 these four men ask for donations, contributions for giving dawah, how are they taking care of wives and children. (not just them most men are)
@@LittleBarbiex0 yes thats marriage one of the major reasons for nikah is intimacy literally thats the whole point
@@stuff9233 how are they not? Taking money for the dawah is different than providing for your family.
People dont talk about the impact it has on the children, all through their different stages in life. The father role is crucial for both boys and girls, if his only showing up 2 days a week because he needs to distribute his time with his other wives and children, this will have a negative impact on the children.
I think one thing they and a lot of Muslim men tend to dismiss when talking about this topic is that men nowadays are not doing it correctly-which in turn hurts the woman. Another main issue that I’ve noticed is that just because it is halal, a lot of Muslim men expect a woman to accept it, guilt trip her or will make her question her faith because it is not her preference. Just because turkey is halal doesn’t mean I want to eat turkey. I would want them to discuss this with Honest Tea Talks because they really show the woman’s side to this and how it affects her. All I usually hear from men is defending it and saying that it is allowed in Islam and for women to just be patient and accept it. I don’t think that’s realistic.
Anyone who dislikes Allah's decreed law is a poor believer. Practising polygyny which basically comes from the man's fitrah what will help him to guard his private parts from zina. Moreover which is the sunnah of our beloved prophet peace and blessings upon him. So comparing this to eating turkey which is just a mere food is complete nonsense. You seem to much-hating men over not practicing polygyny the right way why don't you talk about the women who intentionally create fitnah in their polygynous relationship and go after men like you and call them out and say that they don't practice it well
@@farhidahmed4473 there was not one part where I said I dislike it. I think it works for some people. It is made SUNNAH for those who want to practise it not FARDH. So those who prefer not to should not be expected to want to do it in the same sense of it being required. A lot of Muslim women are made to question their faith (in the same way you commented) when it is her RIGHT in Islam to not want it. The option is there for those who want to do it hence using the turkey example. I don’t think Muslim men should be pressuring women to be in a polygamous marriage when they don’t want to be and just writing it off and saying it’s for her own good. You can’t be so blind to see that Muslim men LOVE this sunnah above others. The issue is that that they expect women to advocate it in the same way that men do. Which naturally won’t be the case for most women.
@@etattainments Lets be real no women going to say that they dislike or hate polygyny because they don't want any Bash but deep down they do and they escape it by saying I have no problem with it if its practiced well blah blah .... but I don't want my men to do it there's the problem if you no problem with it then practice it and make this sunnah a norm .
1.Polygny is not fardh but it can become fardh for a man.
2.Those women who divorce or threaten their husband to divorce their husband because he wants 2nd wife this means she is a poor believer she hasn't submitted to Quran completely and I don't see any wrong questioning their submission to the deen. Moreover divorce claims are invalid according to the majority of salaf scholars if a woman just want divorce because her husband got a 2nd wife.
3. We don't pressure woman we just want them to accept something which is in our deen. And as muslim we expect that from muslim woman. But it seems too much for them that they try to trouble their men intentionally so he could not keep up with 2 or more wives and then escape goat by saying that men cant practice it well and even some go to the extent to degrade sisters who are practicing it. And yes woman can no to a marriage proposal but saying no just because of he wants practice something which Allah has made halal for him so he could keep his chastity so where does put that women actually.
4. Yes men love this Sunnah over other sunnah's because as men we love access to multiple women and this doesn't make a muslim man any less of a muslim for liking it more than other sunnah's. May Allah give us the strength to follow more and more sunnah's.
It's a double edged problem. Not remotely one sided. Most women who would never accept their husband having a second wife would accept their husband having a porn addiction even though the latter is haram. Most of the same women who have 0 tolerance for a second wife will tolerate a husband who drinks alcohol or a husband who misses prayer.
Sisters have to ask themselves (if they have a husband who *can* support more than just her) what is it that they are placing value in that makes them reject the idea outright?
When the husband brings it up what is the first thought that comes to mind? Is it a thought about yourself and what you'll lose? Is it a thought about liberal ideas of equality? Do sisters ask their husband why and if so what do the husbands say in response? Do sisters should be asking their husbands the question proposed in the video.
I think it’s really ignorant to generalise that these women would be ok with men doing other stuff than polygamy or that women are pulling men away from practicing their deen if they practicing their right to one husband. I already mentioned that alot of men make women question their deen and use islam against them in order to practise polygamy which is also against Islam and is quite hypocritical. She has the right to refuse and not want it as he has the right to want it. You can’t pick and choose rights There is no compulsion in Islam. I think it’s also ignorant to ignore all the issues that Muslim women face from polygamy just because it’s sunnah because alot of men don’t practise it correctly. And I’m sorry you can’t always use the fitra of men as the ONLY reason why men should have a second wife because there are plenty of women that also have higher desires and pleasures and polygamy can cause problems for HER if she feels like she isn’t getting enough. But apparently to the Muslim world, that doesn’t exist. So yes it works for some ppl and doesn’t work for others for obvious reasons. But if women are coming out and saying here’s why it’s not working for us, it’s not right or Islamic to brush it off and say well too bad you have to accept it.
2. In regards to this, her not wanting him to have second wife doesn’t mean she is lower in iman. Its her right to want it or not. It’s like saying a man with one wife is lower in his iman. THIS idea here is what pushes women away from this thought because youre essentially using an OPTIONAL part of Islam against her and making her question her faith. THAT is the problem I have.
Islam is submission. Yes. But a wife doesn't have to accept or be happy with it. That's her choice and you can't change people's feelings. Best case scenario is to only do polygyny after the first wife has been consulted and if she is okay with it. If not, you are creating a possible recipe for disaster for her and the children you may already have. You are asking a person to w/in herself to accept a situation for her personal life which she doesn't want, which may be disruptive to her and the children's lives. A woman can accept polygyny as an Islamic practice but also not want it for themselves.
Yeah, fathima rali herself doesn't want Ali rali to marry other women. He got married again after her death .
if a woman doesn't put conditions for polygyny in their marriage contract and then there is no need to consult her and making sure that she is okay with it or not informing her is more than enough, no women is going to be okay with it if we let it to the woman and a married woman cannot divorce her husband just because her husband got another wife the divorce in that case is invalid stated by prominent Salafi scholars. Polygyny is a prophetic sunnah the majority of the sahabas practiced it. In the comment above you wrote islam is a religion of submission I ask where is the submission when you are literally encouraging women that its okay if you don't want to pactice it. They have no say here as their man isnt doing something haram they should submit to the ayah have patience and try to fulfil the obligations of the marriage instead of wrecking nuclear homes by following their whims.
Exactly, women DO NOT have to accept this 🙌🏽
ali was then a lot of slave meaning co wive
majority of scholer opinion that condition does not work. because allah has given permission
Polygyny obliterates your reliance on a man for your happiness and turns you directly to the True source of happiness and joy. Constantly living, embracing and experiencing Truth, keeping you awake at every moment, never allowing you to forget your purpose here on earth. A jihad for women. A mercy and blessing for women.
47:59 Right? Men need to submit to Allah in what they like and enjoy, but women need to submit in what they despise and are hurt by.
I think it's shameful that so much focus lays on a man's libido. Are you created for a higher purpose or are you created in order to fulfill your needs? Be patient. That is what Islam teaches. You'll get your reward in afterlife. Can't expect to get everything in this dunya, hiding behind the statement "but i will be more sinful with one wife" Allah is all knowing and just Alhamdulillah. Even if you try to fool yourself with "right intention", the Al'Aleem will know your true intention. People are struggling to keep themselves alive and yet men of our community decide to speak about their special needs of the lower part of the body.
what's wrong in that men want more sexual access and it is made halal and those who are very capable of practising it should do it they might end up helping some sisters who need a man so why not. And we don't live desert where you can just be patient and nothing would come around to make us fall in Zina doing Zina in some places even in some Muslim countries is cheap and simple to get access to and a lot of men like those would prefer a cheap prostitute/casual sex/side chick over having another wife in a halal way because they like nut on-in women without caring about the responsibility. So do you want men to fall in this trap?
Alhamdulillah their doing this. It is a part of Islam many reject and dont like. Islam is a whole package there no rejecting and accepting what you want and them making it clear that its something from us and shoudnt be looked down upon is good
@@farhidahmed4473 There is nothing wrong with wanting more sexual access. It is wrong to act upon your evil desire. However, the point is that it is more secure for a man to have one wife instead and focus on islam and be pious! Having four wives isn't about fulfilling your needs but to help the community and women and therefore you get your reward in paradise. You lower you gaze and have a good time with one wife. Those who don't listen to Allah, and don't lower their gaze will of course want to commit Zina and act upon their libido. You'll understand In Sha Allah what I mean when many men (with several wives) will come on judgement day like this: The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Anyone who has two wives and does not treat them equally will come on the Day of Resurrection dragging one part of his body which will be hanging down.” (Reported by the compilers of Sunan and by Ibn Hibban and al-Hakim).
@@mehmet20003 I like every part of Islam. That is why i said this, it isn't about ourselves always. Patience and piety is what is expected from us. Not fulfilling our every desire. This is dunya, not akhira.
@@MB-nf4zf you can fufill your desires as long as it is halal there nothing wrong with it be it dunya or akhira. We are created to serve Allah amd doing it in halal is an act of worship
Why do guys act like women have to pick between an unfaithful guy or a polygamist? Do you really think women are that desperate for a husband? Loyalty exist, you know 🙄.............Ladies you have options, don’t settle for this if you want more for yourself. You can find a loyal man that appreciates you, a man that is content with what he has and wants you and ONLY you.
so according to you a man who practices polygyny is not loyal is it....
@@farhidahmed4473 I don't think so, he isn't a cheater IF he tells her, but loyalty isn't a trait I would use to describe a man that has multiple wives.
@@naimam8212 So does the trait loyalty also doesn't go with these men as well Prophet Muhammad peace and blessings upon him and his companions who are the ummahs role models
@@farhidahmed4473 Ask yourself this. Is it hard/challenging to stay loyal to 4 women? When you are bored or frustrated with one, you can simply escape her and spend your time with the next woman available to you. A man that decides to stay committed to 1 woman, even when he could have more, can't do that. He sticks by her, even when she gets on his nerves, now that's loyalty.
@@naimam8212 First of all I don't let women or any external beings get on my nerves. now answer my question above or else you would leave me assuming that you think Allah aazawajjal decreed law is inhibiting men from being "loyal" to their only wife
Monogymy is the rule. Polygymy is the exception, one man having up to 4 wives, if he can be just. Polygymy can in certain circumstances be preferred. A man can increase the number of his offspring by having more wives, whereas a woman is limited by the number she can carry over a period of time. The man must be able to support each wife and child. He can also help widows and divocees with kids have a complete and stable home. If he has no control over nafs, then, at least polygymy makes him an honest man. Women suffer in these arrangements, but not as much if they were unmarried. and polygmy keeps society stable. Men should consider the pain they cause to their wives and whether their choice is ultimately worth it. Men should not underestimate the immense responsibility they undertake through polygyny. So polygyny is okay, but only as the exception. As a woman, I will resist my husband taking on another wife, up to the point where I feel it is futile, then I will make a decision to stay and accept it, or else leave for good. And my husband will have to accept this decision, which ultimately started with his action.
Incorrect! Polygyny is the rule in Islam. Allah said marry 2, 3, or 4, but if you can handle it, then only one.
As long as everyone involved is happy with it and chooses that lifestyle, it’s fine. The problem is many Muslim men force this lifestyle on women who don’t want it
they should be okay with it. It has nothing to do with their wish
@@farhidahmed4473 men that think like that are the problem
@@saimabachani6209 how just think rationally if it was the choice of women all women choose not to be in a polygynous relationship because women are monogamous but men are not atleast the majority that is very much predictable and if we talk about the women who divorce their husband if their husband married another woman that stated invalid by the majority of the salaf scholars and that is why I said it has nothing do with your choice its all about submission what Allah has decreed. Ask yourself women like you do they actually submit to the ayah or not and some of you even go to the extent of degrading the sisters who agreed to a polygynous relationship. may Allah save our houses from this kind of ignorance.
Its the right of the men the problem is the mindset of women who have this monogamous mindset that is not from us
@@farhidahmed4473 just find a wife who is okay with it. Allah made divorce halal too so if a wife is unhappy she can divorce
I think it's just a matter of age and maturity,ask a virgin and young woman if she will accept a second wife for her husband and she will most probably say no and ask a divorcee or widow that will she become the second wife and she will most probably say yes,for some women marriage is all love and intimacy while for others it might just be a necessity
Yeah, it's almost like the whole purpose of polgyny is to help orphans, widows, and divorced women.
@@Ginnyb6402 almost every single male I heard or see or knew consider polygamy a sign of manhood, I never heard any of them talk about helping other women who reached her 30's without gitteing married
@@Ginnyb6402 exactly.
Exactly and the second reason is exactly why polygamy exists. Not just to fill men’s desire. The purpose of it was to help women in need and protect them.
@@alishaaaax yes, in terms of Islam (for context). Simply, why would Allah mention orphans in the very same verse as the permission to marry multiple women. Polygamy is meant to solve problems, I think, not satisfy the pleasures of this dunya. It cannot end well if you marry another woman just because you want more sex. Marriage is a bigger commitment than just sex.
Justice is unachievable. Allah says so.
I can honestly one 100% whole heartedly say that I would be okay with my husband taking another wife. But please don’t Insult my intelligence by telling me he will treat us equally. Just call it what it is. He has weak animalistic desires he can’t control. I’m fine with that. Don’t expect me to hold him in the same regard. Don’t expect my respect for him to remain the same. But I’ll accept it.
@@stuff9233 sorry I don’t understand. I’ll wonder what when I see his friends?
@@zikoha1239 just think deep about it, will realize one day if ones polygamy ways are not pure like our Prophet (pbuh) & most men are not.
My point is, the Quran itself says, and I’m paraphrasing “Only do it if you’re just, and you will not be just”
What does that tell you?
@@zikoha1239 By justice it means dont leave one hanging while attending to the other. It doesn't mean be 100% equal at every second. Allah has made this religion easy for us
yeah
It confuses me deeply when people nowadays talk about that topic, because they always say that men can have multiple wives if they want to. But doesn't Allah (s.w.t.) tell us in the Qur'an that multiple wives are ONLY permissible if it's ONLY for the sake of helping the orphans?? So why all this talk about why men WANT multiple wives?
Humans also want to have premarital intercourse, but we don't do it because Allah (s.w.t.) tells us not to.
And even then Allah (s.w.t.) tells us that one must be just with all of them which is impossible, hence why every believing Muslim should abstain from it if not necessary.
No it's not only to help orphans. The prophet ﷺ married many women and not all of them were orphans. Also by saying nobody can be perfectly just so nobody should do it, makes the revelation moot. One should strive to be just but the reality is that no human is capable of being perfectly maybe except for the Messenger ﷺ
Looks like you need to study more dear
@@hxyzazolchak exactly then only our prophet (pbuh) could do it cause he could do it perfectly. Other men are definitely not perfect so they shouldn’t strive as they will fall short. Men only want this so it is acceptable to sleep with other women that is the pure intention nothing else cause there is no way you’re going to look after all 4 wives in todays society with what money and resources people are struggling to feed one family
@@harialti9846 other sahabas and people who follow them were polygamous. Also nobody argues that most ppl now or then could afford it but those who can should be able to.
"Allah (s.w.t.) tell us in the Qur'an that multiple wives are ONLY permissible if it's ONLY for the sake of helping the orphans"
No, Allah did not say that. Double check before lying in the name of Allah.
Men only see the advantage of polygamy for them. Most of them ignore the challenges coming with having kids with multiple women. Often times, the children are the victims. Go ahead and enjoy the halal sex at the expenses of your own children. There are guys who consider themselves sheikhs yet their daughters were rapped because Mr. Was too busy chasing the desires of this world. Go ahead and beautify polygamy but make sure you have a number of kids you can not only feed but also give the tarbiyah, the security and upbringing they deserve.
Polygamy is halal. Most men will want to marry youthful virgins, that’s just reality whether you like to accept it or not. Also in the community I come from the first wife is generally neglected, forgotten. I think men need to be educated on the importance of treating all the wives equally even if you prefer one over the other.
Exactly. Men do a poor job of treating their wives the same.
@@EB-gt1pq That is why they need to be educated on this.
what's wrong with marrying youthful virgins is it haram
@@farhidahmed4473 well in the video they had used divorcees, widows etc for reasons why polygamy needs to be encouraged in the ummah. Realistically not many are searching for them to be their 2nd, 3rd, 4rth wife. No issues with marrying youthful virgins but let’s atleast be honest about it
@@idilthewesty7 realistically
how many men are going to marry more one and yes men have inclination towards virgins and I count myself in that catagory of men as well and there is absolutely nothing wrong with it and when men are looking to get a second wife there looking for someone who are in need the most muslim polygyny marriages are men having multiple wives who are either divorces and widows so your statement is absolutely bogus.
I don't understand, then what does love mean to a man ? Do men who believe in multiple wives or girlfriends, do such men ever get jealous if any of his wives then flirt with other men ? The concept of men entitling themselves to multiple female partners whom they want to enjoy intimacy, means they can't be very emotionally bonded to such women, so can these men ever claim to have felt love or experienced love as an emotion that holds power and creates loyalty to that person?
Beautifull. I had a debate with my brother about this exact point because I too was curious and he told me that if a man felt true love towards his wife, he would take her feelings and possible hardships into consideration. However, if he didn't really trully care about her with true love, he would just go on about his day. This really opened my eyes about a lot of things.
Men can be bonded emotionally to a woman and still want multiple partners. Its fitrah of men
@@hamzakamran2485 : It can't be real love or emotional bonding if he then cannot give up or sacrifice physical pleasures or intimacy with other women. Furthermore, it encourages men to devalue and ill-treat the other women because it simply means he feels ok to just 'use' them only.
@@creationsoffarzid1154 It is not love if women do it because men and women are different. However men have no problem sharing the love among wives and Allah ﷻ has stipulated it. Even in Paradise a man will have 2 wives according to a hadith in Sahih Bukhari. Further, its not 'using'. A man having intimacy with his wives is actually a reward as our Prophet ﷺ has taught us.
@@hamzakamran2485 It's sexual cheating!!!
The issue with polygyny is that its not A commandement or an obligation its more like a proposition. If you are able do it and if not dont ,
This was actually meant to help womem hence the prophet PBUH encouraged men to marry:
. Older women
. Single mothers
.widowed women
But muslim men out here only choosing beautiful young virgin women from ages 12 to 25
The verse most commonly referred to with the topic of polygamy is Verse 3 of Surah 4 An-Nisa
If you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, Marry women of your choice, Two or three or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess, that will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice.
- Qur'an, Sura 4 (An-Nisa), Ayah 3
It is believed these Verses were revealed after the Battle of Uhud, in which many Muslim men were killed, leaving widows and orphans. Thus, many argue that these Verses have been revealed "because Allah was concerned for the welfare of women and orphans who were left without husbands and fathers who died fighting for the Prophet and Islam. It is a verse about compassion towards women and their children; it is not about men or their sexuality."
Love this video and y'all speaking facts. Going against polygamy and believing its not good practice is haram cuz Allah made it permissible and he's the only legislator. Monogamy is also allowed and that what I wanna have. Hopefully my future husband is ok with it. Monogamy and polygamy are both are allowed and u shouldn't criticize anyone who practice either of them
Yes sis, louder
Khadija gets it
love this response ! if someone wants to have 2+ wives there’s nothing wrong with it, but for me personally i would only want a monogamous relationship. i’ll never go against Allah swt’s word but i also have my right of only wanting a monogamous relationship
@Probee i wouldn't leave if he's will treat me good and don't show favoritism, but ideal i want monogamy.
@Probee no,however if you’re unhappy in your marriage you’re allowed to get divorced. so if him wanting a second wife makes me unhappy,and i communicate with him and he still wants one,it’s my right to divorce due to my emotional needs not being met.
A man cannot be in love with his 4 wives equally. And this is where jealousy stems from a womens perspective.
He can treat them equally, though. He can be just.
I think jealousy will be in the air even if man loves and treats them equally 😅
@@shahidabdoullakhanzorovr1564 That’s fine and great to be treated equally. But that doesn’t matter to most women if they know they aren’t LOVED either equally or, more so what we want, the most. We wan his heart. His feeling. We want to know he loves us most. If we don’t have that, being treated fairly is only a concession prize. It’s like the participation certificate that feels meaningless. We’re in it for his heart. That’s what we want. Not the consolation prize.
It feels like, ‘if he doesn’t love me the most then why does he even want me around? Just for additional company? Just for the occasional perk? What’s the point?’ I’d only go for that if I felt desperate, as in needing my bills paid or it’s the only way I could feasibly have a kid, or my life was situated so that I literally couldn’t or shouldn’t take on a FT husband so I was just using a shared husband for the intimacy - not the most desirable situation.
@@Marwadear512 it's not that you aren't enough. It's just a different type of love. An example I can give which is kinda cringy is imagine liking many different kind of fruits. Sometimes, you would prefer this fruit more for some reason while other times, you would prefer another.
@@hxyzazolchak I get it. I just don’t want to be one of those fruits. Doesn’t sound like an appealing way of life to me. He can be sufficiently content with the other fruits.
Alhamdulillah not all Muslim men out there actually want multiple wives. For instance, when my dear late mother (Allah yarhamha. Ameen.) encouraged my dear late dad (Allah yarhamhu. Ameen.) to remarry so we could have a stepmom if Ever she'd pass away at the time when Allah the Most Wise decrees but my father didn't like the idea of remarrying whether my mum was alive still or if she passed away before him (Allah yarhamhuma. Ameen.). So yeah some Muslim guys are actually very much contented with monogamy in the same way when the beloved Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam remained contentedly married to Khadija RadhiAllahu 'anha for a long time ~
your father might did it because he doesn't want challenges or responsibilities because having even one woman is counterproductive a man can love a woman all his life just like a man can love more than one woman but he cannot be content with her in all aspects and the prophet saw married more than 4 after Khadija (RA) died and polygyny is a sunnah moreover monogamy is a hard thing these at the maintaing multiple wives is also tough.
I think polygamy is obviously ok for people who are capable of it emotionally, financially, etc, but I am not. I want one husband and I will stipulate in my nikkah contract that if he tries to take on another wife that I will want to divorce so the marriage dissolves quickly. The reality!!! is that most men also just want 1 wife and can't possibly afford 2 or more so it's really not much of a concern. Every potential I've talked to has said 1 is just enough.
What if the problem is that I find it disgusting when a man goes from vagina to vagina, even if it’s done in halal way. It might not only be about love and possession as these things can easily disappear within a woman’s heart too. I just find it disgusting to sleep with a man that was using his instrument on another woman the night before
If don't give your vagina for your man whenever he wants then what should he do? If you don't want to loose your purity of sexual inter course between you and your husband then take care of it and be responsible as a matured woman who agreed with her husband in a contract. Leave your disagreement with your outside the bedroom and give him a peaceful and affectionate sex and try to catch up with his vibe in sex don't do it like chore. And Don't dress or behave seductive to another men.
Why is it not possible for a woman to be married to more than one man?
Interesting. "Western women have been programmed with who one women, one man thing" is not all the way accurate. Many of us have several relatives living in Muslim lands who've been first, second etc wives in polygamous marriages and these wives suffered during the marriage and even more after the husbands passed. They had multiple children, all in one home, all hungry and fell into very difficult and dishonorable conditions in order to eat. if polygamy was practiced as a social system to care for the widows, orphans, etc, more women across the board would embrace it. But it's been abused and many women do not benefit.
Fast forward to nowadays in these modern times where masculinity is dying and being erased (feminism has also disrupted the nature of women, thats a diff topic) many Muslim men want multiple wives without even providing for one, on the contrary, they will marry single mothers and use their government assistance to leech off of them. Brothers need to do better. And sisters stop requiring less!
this is why im thinking of marrying a guy im not that attracted to or im not really in love with but who is pious and fears Allah so he’ll treat me and his other wives fairly and I won’t get jealous because im not attracted to him.
I would recommend the opposite becuz if u marry a man u r attracted to, u will treat him better and also he can be Pious and God fearing
And handsome at the same time
*Timestamps:*
00:00 - Join The3Muslims
00:11 - Introduction
00:28 - Why Men have to marry multiple wives?
01:52 - Love of a Woman vs Love of a Man
03:02 - Anghel shares his thoughts on Polygyny
05:03 - Importance of Intention
05:45 - Women being against Polygyny
07:34 - The Fitrah of Men vs Women
09:25 - Problems with Polyandry
12:02 - Muslim Women on Polygyny
13:51 - Arguments for Polygyny
17:14 - Reasons for Men practicing Polygyny
25:51 - Importance of Tawakkul
27:09 - Pushback against Polygyny today
29:19 - Practicing Polygamy: Men vs Women
31:34 - Polygyny in Older Generations
32:34 - Modern practice of polygyny by Mormons
34:24 - Benefits of Polygyny
38:14 - Issue of Men not Stepping Up
40:35 - Taking your own Desires as your God
43:38 - Islam operating in a Western Framework
44:46 - Submission in Islam
45:47 - Closing Remarks
48:37 - Wrapping Up
48:48 - Join The3Muslims
48:58 - Outro
Imagine sitting at home while you are at your other wife doing your tang 🥴😅Nah, I'll rather stay single and save myself the headache.
I mean not all men want multiple wives🤷♂️
For women it is easy to get married
@@ajax1472 not always.
Ok so its not for you no problem
Guys, first of all, thanks for the podcast. However, what I think you didn’t really touch on was that the majority of men want multiple wives BECAUSE of their Nafs, and there’s nothing wrong with that if they are also following and completing all the other rights. Also, if they are taking multiple wives for this reason, they are doing it to protect their chastity which means their intention is fine.
Also men have higher testosterone levels so in general we have a greater need for physical intimacy and wanting a variety of women
Men don’t understand that this is exactly how women feel. No woman wants to come home and compete for their husband’s love and attention. It’s already hard to find a partner and keep them these days let’s not make it more difficult and remember our religion restricted it to 4 wives cause at the time there were kings and such that had 300 wives so Allah restricted it to 4 that doesn’t make it a good idea. Men want loyalty so much from women and if you find that why wouldn’t you admire that and women want the same thing from their husband loyalty!
Nah. That’s how women operate. The biggest flaw is modern women buying the fairytale that men = women and so they project their perspective onto a man’s.
@@The3Muslims with all do respect brothers I’m not a modern woman, not a feminist, none of these leftist ideologies but just a mature older lady with a thought, but are you not a man projecting your perspectives on women as well, because polygamy (didn’t say it didn’t work) only benefits the man that is why it’s a more discussed topic amongst men, and yes it had its benefits in the past but don’t forget the shaitan is wrecking homes continuously in todays society with divorce on the rise I’m just saying that both men and women should focus on one marriage and strengthening their deen instead of focusing on polygamy, just my opinion thank you
@@harialti9846 with polygamy not only men benefit but the women he marries too and her family(if she has kids). As you said it’s already hard to keep a man now-a days and I’ll add that there is hardly any good men so where does that leave the many women who are looking to marry but all the good men are taken and by wives who refuse to share. Frankly it leads to two things imo which is women having affairs with married men or women aging still looking. And as men become weaker and less worthy of marriage in our times and even worse so in the future where are you leaving those women. Soo many good sisters(and sisters increase in numbers)and so little good men.
It doesn’t only benefit the man, the man just lays the foundation;I think women need to focus loving themselves more than a man because majority of women today love their men more than themselves and even their kids(a great number who choose their men over their kids) so much so loves a kid’s stepfather even if he is abusive. If you love a guy over yourself you wont accept polygamy,and lets be frank the 1st reason isn’t because he’s mine rather,aren’t i good enough,its all about them and frankly it’s being insecure(this is diff to jealousy which is natural although some can go crazy and do evil things). Just don’t give him your all to begin with. And yes, of course i know jealousy is natural but if you see it as Revalation along with knowing what you want and need you can be smart. Infact rest and have a bad hair day for when its nit your turn. And women think he cant love more than one,thats not the case its only jelousy thinking. Im not saying polygamy is for every man and its not play and that the lives of others and your kids are in the picture but it still doesn’t take away the fact that women amd society as whole benefit from it. You wont find alot of illegitimate kids running in society and even incest ad they don’t know who they’re from. Every one in that society must know their lineage. This fixes it. Bytw im a women not a man.
@@RochelleHa It's not hard to keep a man, if you failed at keeping a man that is your fault, not the man's. Men are extremely simple, belly full balls empty.
If you can't even do that then there is no one to blame but yourself
It's so hard to find a partner, that you think everyone will be able to find a decent, reliable, solid guy without possibly having to become the second, third, or fourth wife to do so? Good luck with that...
Allahuma Barik! Jazakum Allahu Khiran for this insightful episode! SubhanAllah! Allah (SWT) says “Perhaps you dislike something which is good for you and you like something which is bad for you. Allah knows and you do not know” (Al-Baqara:216). May Allah grant us understanding of the Deen Ameen!
Ameen sis
i understand the perspective and the reasons of polygamy… but me personally,before i commit to a spouse, that will be the first thing i ask about. i wouldn’t want to take his islamic rights away of having multiple wives so i would need to clear that up beforehand. for me personally i would even be too jealous if another girl looked at my husband 😭 wallah i would just be unhappy in a relationship like that. so although i understand the reasoning of polygamy,that doesn’t mean every woman has to accept their husbands being polygamous. my father and mother love each other through thick and thin even after 30 years!! my father even said he could never imagine having another wife. a guy asked for my hand and told me he only wants one woman…people forget having one wife is sunnah too. the prophet married khadijah (ra) and her only until she passed. may Allah swt bless you guys,i love all your videos. but to say men “need” more than one wife or can’t be monogamous is disregarding of exceptions
Sameeee sis, i have been looking this topic quite alot cuz I’ve curious about it and want to remove my misconceptions or prejudices of it and to educate myself about it from the deen aspect of it all I would say is I wouldn’t shame muslim women or men for wanting it but feel like it would be way too much challenging for me and would prefer if l find a man who’s content with one but who knows we are human beings with thoughts and opinions constantly changing.
@@AnoushaSpeaks i know a lot of women who actually prefer if their husband has more than one wife!! i see it all the time,and it’s valid for a women to want a monogamous relationship as well. every single guy i have talked to wanted a monogamous relationship so it’s not too much to ask…if you make dua for someone monogamous Allah swt will grant you just that :)
@@sanaaaaa yes very true
@@sanaaaaa The men you're talking to are either (1) monogamous out of necessity, meaning they would struggle greatly to convince another woman to be a second wife either because of average finances or other deficiencies or (2) they're claiming to be 'monogamous' because it makes a woman happy to hear. No man is monogamous if given the option not to be.
@@ahmedalmahdi9254 no, there are rich, handsome, capable... etc of these alpha men fiddle stick [ and I'm describing in it that way bcz your way of talking tell what kind of thoughts and " logic" you're effected by], but still want to go in this life alone with their woman .
MashaAllah great discussion. It would be great to see a continuation of this discussion in how polygyny could be practiced in a practical sense. It would also be great if you guys went into detail and discuss how the Prophet SAW dealt with polygyny as he is indeed the greatest example for mankind to follow.
Yes
Angel is practicing zuhd may Allaah SWT bless him. He is putting a lot of men in check. And is taking the higher road. Men should recognize that.
So many middle aged woman in there 40s are single and childless like me. I wouldn't care to share a husband if it meant I had children. Now I'm childless and lonely. The purpose of woman on earth is to have children otherwise we will die out as a human species. We weren't born to work like dogs because these feminist want us to. These feminist have broken up families and there structures for what ??? Equality. How can a man be Equal to a woman since Allah made us different
okay but really I dont understand , I want to, i want to change what i feel when I think of my man possibly sleeping with another woman. it physically hurts. my heart actually aches though. I do not feel that 'desires' is a justifiable reason. As someone who is willing to go to the ends of the earth for my man and do and try all sorts to keep it exciting. What could he be possibly missing out on? what desires am I not able to fulfil. It actually physically hurts and makes me feel like i am not enough. When it comes to the topic of divorsee and protecting a community etc, i see more reason in this, this I can perhaps swallow it a little more easily. It is not that I disagree with the deen or don't believe in it. Please, if another man wants to marry 4 and his wife are cool with it? please by all means go ahead I am not against the concept ofc athubillah i couldn't. However i do not want MY MAN to be do so because i can not handle the thought. Is that so wrong?
What about a divorcee women who desperately need men ?
It sounds really painful from what you’ve just described. Especially you’re feeling of not being “enough”. It’s a struggle for many women to understand and accept for various reasons. Alhamdulilah at least you accept it as part of the shariah of Allah. A friend of mine had issues with this and was extremely jealously and she decided to make dua to Allah to make it easy for her and remove whatever was in her heart that was blocking her from fully embracing it. Her dua was answered and she helped her husband marry a 2nd wife. Im not suggesting you do this or have to do this but there is a principle in our Deen - dua is the key to everything. The other thing is to consider the reasons why you automatically think a man wanting other women sexually means you are somehow not enough. Most women simply do not understand the nature of men and that they were designed to be polygamous. It was the norm up until only about 300 years ago. Monogamy used to be the exception not the norm. Men desire women and women are meant to be desired by a man. Often times women believe a man is supposed to belong to them in a possessive way and they place that man before Allah. This complicates the relationship whether there are more wives involved or not. No one belongs to anybody - all belong to Allah alone. And Allah is meant to be everyone’s one true love. The major issue with people (in this context women), is that they get attached to their husbands when they are only supposed to be attached to Allah. We connect with our husbands. Attachment and connection are two totally different things. We aren’t even supposed to get attached to our children - we are supposed to connect with them. It’s a lot of learning but it’s achievable and makes life in this dunya liberating. What people don’t understand is that attachments lead to enslavement and Islam came to free the creation from being enslaved to every created thing (including themselves), and direct them to honourable enslavement to Allah alone. All the best on your path towards learning dear sis. 🌿
Thank you
Anas bin Malik reported: The Messenger of Allah, ﷺ , said, “If the son of Adam had a valley full of gold, he would want to have two valleys. Nothing fills his mouth but the dust of the grave, yet Allah will relent to whoever repents to Him.”
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 6439, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 1048
I'm sure reasons vary and not every man knows exactly why but for me it is like a woman wanting to be a mother and having 1 child. Loving that child is what you enjoy more so than being loved by that child. Often times just 1 child is not enough. Often times women have more love to give. They'll want to have another baby or even adopt. That isn't because they don't receive enough love from their first child. It's because they want to give more love to another.
I believe even in the absence of an ability to articulate this most men are this way. The pleasure we get comes from giving love more than receiving it and the more we give the more fulfilled we feel. If you had the resources and the time wouldn't you adopt and take care of every child in need on the planet? Wouldn't you feed every stray kitten starving in the street if you could? If it were sustainable to do so? If a man could marry every woman on the planet and treat them all justly and keep them all safe, happy and on the path to paradise he would do it. The only thing more satisfying than doing for others is doing for others for the sake of Allah.
As far as not being enough for your husband. That's an issue of humility. Did you think you could ever be perfect? If your husband tells you that you're perfect you know he's lying because perfection was never possible. You should be competing for good deeds not competing to be the number 1 wife in the world. Even if you aren't enough to be his only wife you are still enough to be one of 2 out of billions. Even if it hurts to share him does it hurt more than giving birth to a child? Does it hurt more than it'll hurt if one of your children passes away before you? You love your children enough to endure giving birth. You love love your children enough to risk having to lose them when you could avoid the possibility by just not having any. Why wouldn't you be able to fathom loving your husband enough to endure having to share him?
@@BruvahSulaiman I can’t speak for all women, but this type of love you describe from a man, just isn’t the type of love that I want. I’m not attracted to this kind of love. That’s the problem. We view love differently and men want it to be one way and women another.
And yes sharing a man hurts more than giving birth to a child. My oldest was a 72-hour birth with no medicine or intervention. Yes that hurt less than sharing the man I love. And the more I love my husband, the less I can endure sharing him. The less I love my husband, the greater the chance I’d be ok to share him. We also think differently than men do in this regard as well.
i'm single almost 40yrs old already have job, house and a man ask me for polygamy which i said i'll ask my parents, but they difficult to accept because the man is a foreign from different country.. I'm still making dua to Allah to ease everything..
May Allah Make it easy for you
It's not love if you want many. It's like a contractual relationship instead. If you like many women then your wife should be allowed to have lots of men as well. And if you hate it, neither you should take another lover.
Are you muslim?
Alhamdulillah I really appreciate this video I was on live chat. Brother's please think of me when making Du'a. I'm going through a tough time.
May Allah make it easy for you, ameen
Feel blessed if you are not into a religion where you are no. 2,3,4,5...because he can have as many and main point of view is increasing population.
Dear brothers Allah bless you you are doing great work on this planet and we love
Allahumma Barik bro
We all recognise what value and respect and power means to each of us, likewise, in a marriage , a woman /wife wants the same things, to be valued, respected and to experience what power might mean. So it should not be too hard to understand that being the only wife equates to the meaning that all the power and attention will be go to the one person, that the wife can feel valueed and respected. This is why women don't want to be in a multiple wife situation.
And just like the other way around men can feel more valued and respected if he has more than one wife as the wives would give him their attention to him more as half the time more/less he will be with the other wife.
@@farhidahmed4473 : Men don't have to have many wives to feel value and respected, as the one wife can give him all that, however he is just greedy and not satisfied with the one wife, mainly due to lust rather than a need. Men also have an economic role in Islam, in otherwords, he goes out to work whereas the wife does not have to work in an Islamic marriage, so the husband can obtain his value and respect from the outside world consisting of other men and society in general as well, but the wife does not receive exposure if she stays at home. So it is very important for the wife who is in such a role to be valued and respected by her husband. Now adays he doeasn't even like being the financial provider in a marriage and then goes sampling other women undercover, in the haram way. I am not against this law of Islam, because ISlam places the right amount of balance and responsibility to it, however men don't do it for Islam, they do it for lust or power squablles against the wife or one or two of the wives.
@@creationsoffarzid1154 there is nothing wrong with having desires and if it is fulfil on halal manners men naturally have higher libido than women in general so they want sexual access to more woman and as it is made halal up to 4 if he thinks he can take care of his wives rights he can proceed Allah made it halal for a reason there is nothing being greedy to guard your chastity from zina it doesn't even need to be for the purpose to financially help a woman but if someone does that then its more better the brother will get reward for both guarding his chastity and helping a nisa . And as you said men go sampling other women because society or it would he better if say women have made it harder for men to practice polygyny thus they are only harming themselves. And a wife is well respected in her household if she obliged herself what islam says obey the husband until he said you to do something haram instead of following her whims.
@@farhidahmed4473 : My paragraph informed you that the modern Muslim man or corrupt Muslim man (which is most Muslim men are these days) don't opt for, 'halal' methods ie by marrying, they opt for illegal or 'haram' methods to 'sample' women outside of their marriages rather than marry the extra woman. You are talking as if such men are happy to marry, no they are not, because they don't want to spend the money for getting married to another person, because they want it 'easy' without care , responsibility or cost, that is why I called it , 'lust'. 'Lust is just about physical gratification without the care for the human mind and heart that the woman is made up of. Since when does a man who samples many women ever have the capability to love ? Yes Allah allowed 4 wives in Islam inorder to solve many social /society related problems but men do not marry 4 to please Allah or for social welfare reasons, or to save women from homelessness, they simply don't care about these. What they care about is only their selfish- physical interests.
@@creationsoffarzid1154 from where the hell did you get this statistics that most muslim man just want to lay down and nut in and on woman just to sample seriously where did you get this do the most muslim men in your surrounding doing it those who are doing because they find easy obviously as people made the haram easy and halal hard. And again lust what lust means sexual desire we can also have that for our wives and practicing polygyny even for only ones sexual urges is not wrong the person who practice polygyny for sexual desires even he will be rewarded by Allah because if he wanted he could please himself through haram means but he feared Allah and choosed what is permitted. What is the problem with people that they see desires or lust even if it is fulfilled in haram manner you people still looked at it in the wrong way. I mean WTH!
I’m a Muslim and i have been approached by Muslim men who are wealthy good looking and married and looking for a 2nd wife and I laughed and told them hell no!!! 🤣 It’s dirty situation for me and comes down to mens D and I will not be a part of hurting another woman as well.Allah sees I have good heart
What are yiu even talking about
@@mehmet20003 what she is trying to say is that men dont mind hurting their own wife for their sexual desire and getting a 2nd wife but she would mind being the sidechick (bcuz 2nd wives are considered sidechicks) and hurting that man's wife.
What if a man is married to a disabled believing woman who can't join him in bed? Should he just continue to be the model husband to his incapable wife and live out the rest of his days without sex?
What if a wealthy man marries a woman who has suffered much trauma in her life and being a husband to her is a heavy burden for him but he doesn't get much out of it? Should he abandon that sister to be with one that can be a better wife to him? If Allah provided a way for him to have a wife that brings him peace and keep the wife that gives him grief then why should he not remain committed to and loyal to the first wife and marry a second?
@@BruvahSulaiman he knows what's he's getting into when he marry a disabled woman, but yes Allah (SWT) Allow him to have others to fulfill his desires so long he won't unjust his 1st wife
@@BruvahSulaiman That’s not my problem.I operate on spiritual level not others sexual cravings.
MashaAllah brothers ❤️
Glad to have brother Gabriel in EP
Have to really understand what Allah says "Marry 4..if you can't afford then just have one wife".. meaning that Allah emphasized man to marry one only . Wallahuaklam
The Quran absolutely puts major stipulations on polygamy, everyone always forgets to mention the first part of the verse referring to polygamy as a means of caring for orphans and widows! It's not about sexuality it is about a protective social system.
I think a lot of men would be willing to accept women who are divorced or widowed if they knew that the woman would respect them as if they were their first choice. I hear too many stories on how women would be free an more accepting of doing certain things for men they found to be the most attracted to versus not doing those things with men they feel like the settled for.
I’m divorced and my fiancé is definitely my first choice. I’m head over heels for him. The last marriage ended for reasons. It’s over. Not sure why people think we’re always hung up on our ex? My ex is like my brother and I’m like his sister. There isn’t even for a second, ever, any more feeling than that. My fiancé however is my Emir.
@@Marwadear512 alhamdulillah sister, may Allah bless your marriage. We don't all think that women are hung up on there ex, we find out by letting the women talk and seeing if they're still mentally and emotionally attached. The point of my comment is to highlight to women that they need to treat their husbands like they were the women's first choice and not to reserve themselves just because they couldn't get their "first choices." If my comment/point doesn't apply to you, then alhamdulillah, you don't need to justify yourself to me.
@@YoungMuj Ok understood. Yes for sure, all spouses should always believe themselves to be the other’s first choice and top priority.
First wifey here Alhamdulillah very much contented as my husband's first wifey
You’re the only woman I’ve ever heard who refers to herself as “wifey.”
What’s halal is halal, I personally want one wife though. I’m ready for marriage but struggling to find somebody as a revert
Just stick to one you will find ! The min u become delusional and say I might marry more ! Then everyone knows ur not a saint
I mean it’s as simple as this, Allah SWT allowed it, equally before marriage we discuss terms. Both parties need to be clear on what they want. There is an agency here in the UK, over 3,000 sisters 30-50 years of age, divorced and with child open to polygamy.
We are all open to our own choices as long as Allah SWT has allowed it and we stay out of Haram.
The issue with polygyny is it's also excessively accommodating men. Example: husband must divide his time and resources amongst x 2,3 or 4. In the husbands absence who are we to assume that wife and children are always able to be programmed according to the man of the houses schedule. There will be nights when the children will need their dad more than other nights and likewise for the wife. How entitled are men to constantly expect women and children to accommodate men and their activities outside the home. Women and children can not predict and plan ahead of time when they need dad at home. There is a current alarming amount of unfaithful sisters, fatherless homes, divorce and disposable spouses and children all in the name of polygyny and accommodating men and other women outside the home.
Women; if you dont like this just make a marriage contract stipulating you dont want it.
End of conversation.
You don’t need to enter a contract you don’t want. You are the one consenting to it.
Its not about consent,the discussion is about the concept and reality. The west makes you think that marrying your cousin is sick and conceive disabled kids. Rather their society is full of illegitimate kids and incest between people because many don’t know their lineage,especially in this time. I think you should let women make up their own minds instead of giving an encouraging comment for women to continue rejecting polygamy. I don’t think you or anyone else who discourages it can bring back their youth whilst they’re in disgust of polygamous marriage. Its a deep topic and i think we should leave them to it.
Ima women btw not a man
@@RochelleHa im reminding women that they have a say in their marriage. Whether society accepts it or not is none of my concern and neither should it be for you. Society also frowns upon divorcees and widows but I don’t see these brothers here defending these women. Men who want to practise polygyny can do so at their own accord. Society doesn’t need to pat them on their backs for it 🙄 sensitive era we live in where men are too scared of social repercussions. Thats just part of it. Deal with it.
You can’t legally marry two women at the same time in many countries anyways.
"Women; if you dont like this just make a marriage contract stipulating you dont want it."
what makes it permissible to make polygamy impressible in a contract ?
@@lillyypondsxz8027 "im reminding women that they have a say in their marriage"
false equivalency, females dont have a "say" about the legislation of Allah. muslims are required the "hear and obey".
"Whether society accepts it or not is none of my concern and neither should it be for you. "
your statement is ironic. the irony is in your rejection of polygamy, your comment is most applicable to you.
"Society also frowns upon divorcees and widows but I don’t see these brothers here defending these women."
society should frown on divorced females, why should divorce be celebrated ? females who were rejected and deemed unqualified for marriage by other men should be frowned upon.
What is your stand on the issue, that sometimes when divorced or widowed women want to marry, the family of her ex husband wants the children. And because of this there are often times wars between families and the children suffer. So if the mother wants to marry, the children are often left with the grandparents or some families even take away the children from their mother. So what should a woman do in this situation? Where she has to put her children and her need to marry on a scale?
Polygamy is a beautiful thing until the husband is not fair or you live in the same house.
That is why the husband need to be educated in Fiqh, especially in the chapter of Marriage.
@@MuhammadAli-mz4pq Yes, but the majority of men are not educated. All they hear is to marry up to four wives.
Its usually these male reverts who want multiple wives....even if they find a wife whom theyre 99% happy with still they lust after more....what does that tell you about the character of such men 🤮
My family argues that polygamy was practiced in the past during the sahabah times. And not during this time.
Hmm...mashaAllah seriously important topic. I've seen it done properly in my family and the benefits of it alhamdulillah, but I've also seen it done wrong and the negative consequences of it. From a western perspective, as a child your only taught to be in monogamous relationship and that is what's normalised. Muslim families need to normalise talking and educating their kids about Islamic polygamy so it's not an alien concept. In alot Eastern and African countries, its something so normal. So definitely beginning the education from the home imo especially if your in the west 🤔.
- You do find with time, women become more understanding and open to it especially if they are learning more about their deen, that's not to say they won't have some emotions about it which is normal. The test comes with how your able to deal with those negative emotions. Do you feed into them or do you learn to control them. At the end of the day your on this earth to please Allah and not give in to your nafs. The battle of the heart over the mind.
- Definitely need to show good examples of familes on how it is done correctly because its common to hear negative stories.
Looking forward to the next inshaAllah 😎 lets see how deep we can get as there's alot more to it ⚡️
The programming runs deep sis
I want my husband to marry 10 other woman to leave me alone. As long as we all get along its all 👍
Ya that’s when polygyny can work. When the woman wants more time that he leaves her alone.
yeah some times some men are too much to handle for one one
@@sammann3577 Or she just doesn’t like him
Just because you can doesn't mean you have to,especially if its not discussed with the first wife before going into marriage! Women have a right to disagree and if they are fine with loosing one over the other then let them marry!
Salam alaykum everyone. Anghel should speak more because he has very interesting things to say on a general basis... As a woman, I started watching the 3 Muslim's videos to understand the male perspective of gender roles, masculinity and gender dynamics. I'm puzzled by men's interest today for multiple wives and let me explain why. Like anghel beautifully mentionned, the hikma of the verse to marry multiple wives is an amana from Allah for those that are already close to him maybe because the responsability of such a task is not one that all men can handle and only the ones close to Allah can recognize this fully.
When Allah says to marry only one woman if men feel they can not be just with more wives, He Subhannah wa taala is inviting us first and fore most to know ourselves. How on earth can we know if we are able to bear a situation if we don't know our strengths, our weaknesses, our psychology, etc. In my opinion, people rush into seemingly ideal situations because it looks good or feels good without taking into consideration the bigger purpose. Allah invites us to press the pause button and contemplate the reasons we seek these situations in the first place.
In my opinion, familities and society are falling apart due to an identity crisis (lack of purpose and value) as well as past unresolved traumas experienced first hand or that have been passed down. I don't think polygamy is the tool that will fix society. But I do think polygamy will be rightously practiced once society will heal itself from it's traumas and Muslims will build themselves to be consciously aware beings with balanced self confidence and self value. I have the impression that in today's society, where image plays such a crucial role in social interactions, men more so use polygamy as a way to be seen, respected, admired as a way to fulfill a duty. Allahu 3alam.
Oh my, yes as a woman it's true, they'll double it, this is all old testament
It was because my husband(now ex) was out trying to find a second wife. ..or well hoped for . No basis on why he wanted this except that he said " it'd be less work for you"
PART 2 PLEASE
I heard polygyny is not sunnah or bidah. As far the Quran goes, it highlights men to be just, if you are not just than women are allowed to leave according to the islamic procedures. ALLAH WILL JUDGE YOU IN TERM OF JUSTICE NOT HOW MANY YOU MARRY. You should know if your wife is emotionaly capable to take this news and it is justified to her children. If she is not, then it is you are answerable to Allah not she.
Unpopular thought of mine: Polygyny is an ancient method that would be a beneficial practice in this day and time (if done well).
First, Allah promotes monogamy and always did. It was the culture at the time where men were taking as many wives as they wanted and it was God who wanted to put a stop to that.
Then, the battle of Uhud happened where many men died. Because of this many widows and children were left abandoned. So God allowed men to take on up to 4 wives to equally provide resources. HOWEVER “Muslims” conveniently leave out the part where God said this is only acceptable in the CONTEXT of war and tragedy. Meaning a shortage of men.
So no you cannot call yourself a good Muslims and promote polygyny. You cannot make decisions with self-serving and indulgent motives in any religion. Today there is no such context that allows for multiple wives. There is no shortage of men, and there are many ways to find resources. We are not of the times where this advice applies. Just because something is legal doesn’t make it God’s way.
If you are actually interested in following God’s way then here are Allah’s words:
“Monogamy is the only ideal state of marriage in Islam.”
“We made you in pairs. When we made you, we made your soul mate.”
Lust after your partners in a loving committed marriage and don’t misrepresent Allah’s words for your personal selfish gratification.
This is very strange and incorrect “information.”
I don't even know why as Muslims today hav to talk about this men having more than one wife's...
because its part of the deen
These brothers speak the harsh truth of the society really respect you and value you brothers.
May Allah protect you all and always stand by the truth
Todays situation is when the first wife knows everything about her husband and then claims that she loves him so much and knowingly she happily pushes him into hell by saying that you can go against Allah but don't go against me and the children also supports her too and the saddest part is that the man himself ready to goes against Allah's, order and fitrah.he know he gonna be in trouble in akhrat still fulfilling his desires in a haram ways because he is coward no fear from Allah he fears from society ,wife ,kid and family he doesn't want any chaos
May Allah make us among those who only fear from Allah
It's like many sisters who are honest are saying, up the standards and normlize it, its sick ppl will accept Qom Loot but not accept a good Sunni man. Then they wonder why nisa are majority in the Nar.
Why do men want multiple wives ? Maybe because as believing men they want to try to emulate their prophet a.s in every way of life ; I.e practicing polygyny . Prophet Muhammad a.s is their role model ; therefore attaining Allahs love and blessings by following his prophet a.s as He ordered us to do.
I love you guys...allhamdullia sukran...for being open..😊
on what do you base the statement that it is "not really possible" for a woman to love two men "at the same time"?
You have presented zero evidence for this: nothing objective, nothing psychological, nothing scientific. Just a big fat nothing!
You dont even have a personal viewpoint, because - u know - none of u are, or hv ever been, women! At least not as far as you have disclosed.
This a truly lazy premise for a debate.
You jist dont hv any evidence for wht you say. Wht u r basically saying is tht u dont, or wouldnt like a many men, one woman scenario. Why not just say tht then! Men hv more power in society, so jist tell the truth which is: "we dont want this, we are stronger, we can impose our will."
And to any religious justification I would say to you tht there is virtually no historical corroboration that even Muhammad - left alone God - said anything in the Hadith. And if you believe there is, I wld direct you to the bang on Aisha in Bukhari 4788.
The reason many men want more than 1 wife is likely the same reason why many women want specific careers. They don't have to have careers. But they want them none the less. Probably the same reason many ppl want children. Having children isn't fard. But ppl want them none the less.
In the Bible, God commanded 1 man to 1 woman. The men of the Bible that had multiple women: Abraham, David, Solomon, Jacob, they were all curse/faced issues/God not pleased. And some of these men are also important in the Islam faith.
What are the verses in the Quran that affirms polygamy?
I hope you really go into detail about what a man’s mind is thinking, like a play-by-play, detailed, to help us women understand. I hear the same generalized explanations over and over again and they really don’t help. I need to literally know what a man is thinking and feeling deep in his mind and heart to form a better understanding of why women should feel ok to live this way in 2022.
"Why women should be ok to live this way in 2022" Certain moral principles within Islam are fixed independent of time, it being 548, 2022 or 2500 is irrelevant and has no impact on polygamy. If you're going to argue that women get jealous and would ideally want monogamy, that's always been the case, it's clear from the Sunnah that the wives of the prophet (Peace be upon him) were jealous of each other and competed with each other to be liked more.
@@Adam10412 hmm facts
Every man is different. Meaning personality, character, and so on. It will depend on what man you are interacting with.
Look into the tafsir of surah tahrim
The most heavy part of your comment is ''why women should be ok to live this way in 2022''. Basically, what you are alluding to is the fact that times have changed thus the moral compass is calibrated by linear time so what is ok and what isn't is in flux. This is a genetic fallacy.
It is a multifactorial topic as to why restricted polygamy can be conceivably positive in a society. The reason why many people are inwardly repulsed by this practice is because it is not 'normal' and Hollywood (and other media means) has normalized strict monogamy. Now who sets what is normal and what isn't? And also just because some of the time polygamy has been practiced in an ill manner does not necessarily mean the whole institution is nullified or should be repulsed at. Just because some women weaponize intimacy and children does not mean men should always avoid marriage. It is the same logic. Have you ever cared to look at women who are in a consensual polygamy marriage and is not miserable? And most men do not marry a second one, only the ones in a superordinate position with high Iman do.
You could also argue that why do men need to protect and provide for women ....times have changed.
I thought the verse where it was revealed mentioned only widows because their husbands died in the war..
Why didn’t they invite females from different cultures to add more perspective to this discussion. This is not balanced imo.
The overwhelming majority of women don't want polygny, that's pretty clear already.
Imagine the reward for a woman who is patient with polygyny. Subhanallah
Yes making you value less than garbage
Add a Khabib sound bit, I think it will be nice addition and can be funny
I don't agree with Gabriel most widow women didn't think about marriage cz they have other priority like raising her children please don't talk about women if no women there defend or correct mistaken idea about women
Of all the women I know whose husbands hv multiple wives, NONE are happy. Sad but true. Its just impossible I believe for any man to be able to treat all their wives fairly. Friend of mine was an unhappy 4th wife. Its always good BEFORE it happens.
That said how many men take widows and divorcees as their subsequent wives with the intention to take care of them & their children? Most men who remarry just take single young women.
Now the Prophet didnt show that by example. He married divorcees & widows mostly. So are our men really following the sunnah?
Be honest guys. Most of you marry in multiples only for your nafs. Not to support the womenfolk who need your support.
Im not against it but man… idk to know that he’s with someone else or having a kid by someone else and God knows how she is as a person (from family experience it didn’t turn out too good). It would just hurt my heart. I think if I knew I couldn’t give him a kid or something like that it would be fine but if I had to choose I would be with someone who just wanted to be monogamous.
Masha’Allah great video . As a woman l truly believe that anything that’s halal and Allah allowed Alhamdulilah , it means it is beneficial for society . May Allah bless those men and women who practice it and who are courageous enough to be obedient to Allah and following the sunaah of our prophet Muhammad a. s .
Al-Hamdu-liLLĀH
ﷺ
These discussions are pointless why dont they talk about things that will help the sisters we all know u can do it.
Dear brothers thanks for having this debate and at least you acknowledged that women also have needs that must be fulfilled.
Generally I feel a lot of men have no idea how to look after/fulfil the needs of one wife let alone more than one. If you treat one wife according to the Prophet pbuh's teachings then you're doing well. Sadly the only sunnah men think they need to fulfil is polygamy and a lot if men often use it as a threat to their wives.
Alhamdulillah Allah swt has allowed it for the good of both men and women.
The argument of there being more females than males is simply not true. The only place where theres a slight increase in female population is the older generation of females in the west as the age expectancy for males is slightly less and these older ladies are not interested in marriage in their 70s etc, so whether it needs to be encouraged I'm not sure.
Also the argument for having more kids...Aadam AS only had one wife to start the population. You csn not keep producing so many kids that you have no time for their tarbiyah.
Clearly there was a need for this previously when there were battles etc and lots of women were left widowed. I'm sure there's need for it in many families even now, there may even be a greater need for it in the future.
Also polygamy was already there before Islam and I feel Allah swt limited to 4 rather than it being something new. It also comes along with a very severe warning that if you can not do justice between two wives than marry only one concluding this is more proper so you may not deviate from the right course.
The main reason for males to want a second wife is for his own desires but maybe an extremely small minority would be doing it for the sake of Allah swt and may Allah swt bless them and their wives for this.
As for divorced/widowed females there must also be divorced/widowed males, it doesn't just happen to women.
There is a lot we could say about this topic but the male argument is usually very biased and weak.
We should certain not make it hard for people where polygamy works for them. Its allowed alhamdulillah and if there's a need within the family (not just the man) than InshaAllah it will be rewarded immensely.
May Allah swt forgive our shortcomings and accept all our efforts Ameen
There's a lot of talk on polygyny in islam and the allowance for men to marry 4 wives. Could someone link the aya that allows this please?
I would actually prefer my future husband to have multiple wives. I get a break from him and can have me time. I would be a second wife or be fine with my husband having more than me as his wife.
You are just believing in the romanticised polygamy that these guys are trying to sell you😂
@@khadeejahassen and that would be what?
@@mehmet20003 it would just lead to her having to take care of the kids more since the husband is not present however maybe this wouldn't make a difference to her since some men don't look after their children anyway but pick a good father sister, not just a man who leaves you alone with the kids you had together.
@@khadeejahassen So women like you didn't just stop at not wanting polygamy for yourselves, you actively try and shame/discourage women who have said they're fine with it. Pretty disgusting mentality.
@@231doughboy no don't romanticise it, it's a hard job. You'll have less time for yourself is what I said.
So many hidden gems in this!!
Salam alaykom, you missed a point that in islam it's halal for women to put a condition of no polygamy, so technicly she is not force to accept polygamy...
I understand that's there's benefits to polygamy. But why doesn't anyone address the fact that many of the men that want to do cannot even be there for their current family?
Also like Fatimah ra, she didn't want her husband Ali ra to marry again and the Prophet saw told him not to? And we have to also acknowledge that this isn't for every lady, and it doesn't show her low eemaan
Tell me ,approximately how much percentage of men can be in poligamous marriage ,if you know ,or do you think every man ,every single man(who identified himself as muslim,of course) is able to be in polygamous marriage ?
Assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullah wa barakartu 🙂
SubhanAllah I've been watching some of your videos. I'm a convert struggle at times and it's nice to see my brothers not running after dunya, getting realizations of the true reality of this dunya
Our most blessed and most beloved prophet Muhammad s.a.w.s had multiple wives.
As long as the brothers treat the ladies equally and there's love and respect, Alhudulillah
In sha Allah for the sake of Allah's love for our most blessed and most beloved prophet Muhammad s.a.w.s we all get good spouses that help us grow in our beloved Deen and keep us safe and bring us into the love of our beloved prophet Muhammad s.a.w.s
In sha Allah I hope for the sake of Allah's love for our most blessed and most beloved prophet Muhammad s.a.w.s that he guides us all and brings us into his mercy oceans and gives us good spouses who want this dunya to be filled with the love of the prophets s.a.w.s to the love of Allah the love of our prophet Muhammad s.a.w.s
18:43 THAT’S IT RIGHT THERE
He's promoting desire which is fodbidden in islam as main thing of test, a man of desire won't be hapoy with even 4...i think wheres the test for men if they can fulfil in dunya?? He's a revert so he's bringing his genetics in it. That's all.. Prophet when had serious mission never took more as it needed focus
I get everything but I like the confidence that they fully confirmed that men can LOVE (not talking about sexual , financial things talking about LOVE) 4 women equally 🤓🤡 and they give example of PROPHET SM pbuh knowing true well that they are nothing like him forgetting the fact monogamy is also sunnah and many PROPHETS example Musa A pbuh married only 1 women
interesting that the "assurance of paternity" exists in a polygamous (multiple women+ single man) relationship, but not necessarily in a monogamous relationship, and also not in a polygynous relationship of the opposite dynamic. a woman will always be certain that the child she births is hers, but not a man... even in a monogamous relationship? how is a polygamous relationship exempt from such risks?
by no means am I a critic of polygynous relationships. i think its a beautiful thing for the right people and there are certainly benefits to it, if executed correctly, but the logic of paternity being questionable outside the multi-woman/ single man dynamic is beyond delusional. a woman can step out and get pregnant by anybody. regardless of posture or religious creed.
older women's fitrah is no more or less corrupt than today's women. if its human nature, its human nature. the difference is that today's women have the choice to stand on their laurels. if they dont want it they can refuse it. days past, women had to submit, agree and obey. disobedience was a death sentence. they had no choice. they would either be killed or the lack of resources provided by a man, would kill them.
it is a man's right to have multiple wives, yes. but it is not haram for a woman to refuse to be a part of the arrangement. the koran states that if theres a difference in position, and they have separated and come together again and tried to make amends, if it doesnt happen, then they are allowed to divorce and go their separate ways with no ill will.
if men are moving under the guidance of Allah, and it is His will. then they should take care of any and every woman who is in need of a man, regardless of his attraction to her. the argument that it is a man's duty to take care of women and having multiple wives as his duty is invalidated by the fact that it is a choice and each additional wife is a choice, and it is a choice rooted in desire, not duty. if this were part of the dialogue between a man and woman on debating this topic, then it may make things easier.
if Allah has decreed it and a man is supposed to have additional wives, then it will not be difficult. if it is written and we all follow Allah's guidance, then it will not be difficult. there are plenty of women who agree. it will be easy for them and their husbands, as that is what is written for them.
this was fun.
Its so confusing today, in ancient times, life was simpler, it is believed that 95 per cent have high libido, my husband cheated l could not cope, having kids working being the main, bread winner...
He was a gold digger, ran off, with another women, gave her kids...he was lazy.
He has 16 children now....but his is not around to look after them...he is 70 and lives alone...😢I
These men only talk about their own needs. What about women's needs? What hypocrisy!