Traditions and vaules that support the value of a wife are often none existence in south asian families. This is why they will bring women from back home as she will have no choice but to suffer at the hands of a man who is nothing without his toxic mother. @@sidebysidepod
Haven’t watched this brother too much but when I see him online I’m always impressed by his calm demeanour, his hikma and knowledge of male female dynamics.
Yes you put the right guest I was there last mouth when he came to San Diego and gave a lecture so much khair jzk and keep making these videos inshallah
Really good podcast, so insightful thank you . Gabriel is clearly very smart and knows what he is talking about esp when it comes to women! Really impressive mashallah. I do agree with the above commentator. I’m looking to get married and struggling to find a man who is happy to provide. When I tell them I do not wish to work and raise the children, instead of being impressed men look down on that it’s so Ajeeb I don’t get it. I would have thought men love the idea of having a stay at home wife but doesn’t seem that way from my experience. I just think there is a lack of traditional men and women in general now and that is due to western society indoctrinate Muslims minds it’s scary and sad!
@@fi1158this is a responsibility put on men just like women also have certain responsibilities which they need to meet .. Allah always provides a way and so long as u haven’t married a woman who is high maintenance and materialistic then it’s absolutely do able.
I have so much respect for brother Gabriel Alromaani!! HE IS THE BEST UNBIASED ISLAMIC PSYCHOLOGIST in this crazy modern time where the majority of muslims are just like sheep, JUST FOLLOWERS OF THE DISBELIEVERS!!😮 MAY ALLAH SWT GUIDE US TO THE TRUTH!!🤲🤲
Having experienced the exact situation and divorce i have come to the conclusion - Woman say Men should provide but dont know what it takes or means for a man to cover every bill imaginable
@@sidebysidepodWell it depends how the individual male in question organises himself, his finances and his extra expenses. For example - Rent or Mortgage Monthly Payments, Energy Bills, Taxes, Food (Takeaways and Dining Out), Female Clothing, Makeup and Skincare, Gym Membership, Seperate Car (If You Don't Like To Car Share), Car Insurance, Car Tax, Fuel, Phone Bill, Subscriptions, Outdoor Activities, Unforeseen Costs. I'd say that is a general list of costs modern Muslim man endures. Now depending if your living in poverty, working class or working middle class and doing it will determine how difficult you will find it or plain sailing.
Islamically you aren't expected to provide what isn't a necessity. If you provide a roof over her head, food on the table and bills, then your job as the provider is done. Then, it depends completely on the sister you marry on how high maintenance they are..@@mohammedjehad1299
Women reserve the right not to answer a question like “are you a virgin?”. First of all, I think it’s quite disrespectful and secondly Islamically she doesn’t need to reveal her past sins.
Its better to avoid the direct question but mention it as a dealbreaker as long as you're others, so if they dont fufill that one, they can refuse moving forward without specifying the reason why.
@@MH-bf4uu You're right. I know there are so many Muslim women want a man who hasn't been with many women. However men tend to care about it more then the women
not really you guys gave us the bad end of the stick we can't predict your future you might die along the way so that's dumb never have i ever thought about someone's future i don't even know what i doing at with my life i should plan mine
@@LittleStarsCare-oh4nnNo you women just decided to put feminism, liberalism, and secularism before your Islam and expect men to be fine with that. Nah I don’t think so.
Gabriel's advice has had a devastating effect on our marriage. We are on the verge of divorce, or at least living in deep unhappiness. And I know what the response will be: feminism is to blame. No. I am by no means a feminist. A marriage is complex, with two human beings forming it. My partner has become unrecognizable since he started following what this man teaches. I no longer recognize the beautiful kindness he used to show in the beginning. The problem with Gabriel and his training is that it falls into the same liberal vein it claims to fight against: these programs are aimed at men who supposedly "lack self-confidence." It inflates an individual's ego. Everything revolves around the man and his desires-desires for women, glory, and money. And of course, it sells. A capitalist master, and marriages destroyed.
Salam sister, have you tried reaching out to Gabriel directly to discuss your issues? I am sure there will be better results if such major issues as described here spoken privately 121? I wish you and your family peace and happiness and hope any issues and differences get resolved soon.
@@redpanther9380 maybe It’s more thoughtful to refrain from making assumptions about others, especially when you don’t know their personal beliefs or experiences.
@Hanna-m6z6lWhen it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, then it’s safe to assume it’s a duck. Many sisters claim they aren’t feminist but turn around and regurgitate feminist talking points. It’s like when racist people say they aren’t racist because they have a black friend but turn around and go on a racist tirade blowing dog whistles and use politically correct language to disguise their racism. Cmon let’s be adults here and hold each other accountable which is something I see modern women rarely do and that’s the problem.
This topic is complicated. When you look at reality, the brothers that can allow their wives to be stay at home tend to poses high amounts of wealth generated through successful business or multiple investments (I.e properties through HARAM mortgages as many Bengalis have). It’s easy to say to the average brother ‘go and do better’ but can they actually? What’s the average salary even in London? 35k ? Is that enough to run a high rental property (rents very high), bills, food and other activities? A blind man and his dog will even say NO. So unless you’re earning around 100k then don’t expect the average earner to run a household on one income, it’s not possible. So this means the average person WONT be able to support a wife to be home only/home maker. It’s easy to speak from a position of power and tell others to ‘work harder’. What if he can’t earn 100k ? Many jobs don’t even pay anything close to that. Let’s be realistic. Those brothers that can earn very good money in a Halal way should tell their wives to manage the home. But sadly that’s a small percentage, as reality of life is different and we need to own up to it, rather than being superficial. It’s hilarious the amount of brothers who always say ‘wives should be home’ etc.. then you do some analysis and see that’s only possible as their high incomes are though haram means (rental properties on mortgage, haram business etc) May Allah make it easy for us.
I completely understand your POV and what you have said. We all have been in a position of weakness in our life financially and it is impossible to fund an entire family with £35k ish or under salary. A brother has to earn at least £45k+ in London to allow his wife to stay at home and for him to be the sole provider. Having said that, the question I have is, what is our brothers doing to improve their financial position if they already don’t have the capability? What are the brothers doing with the money they have? Are they cutting costs on unnecessary things? Are they improving themselves every day to be able to earn more? Are they learning new skills to earn more? Or have we given up? I know what I am saying because I have been poor for the majority of my life. But I never allowed myself to accept I will remain poor. We need to take action and not accept defeat!
I think lots of blame is placed is on the women, i think the speaker is being biased. The reason not all but mostly divorce happening its because women had enough of being door mat. Yes u are supposed ti compromise but now expectations of women is far more, work, run house, do everything for the family, earn a living. Its get tiring. This speech is very focused making the man some how bypassing everything, and women disregarded. I wonder how he advises his client. Its very one sided , siding one side the man.
Just as thought what if a woman refuses to earn a living and says to her husband that’s your duty and she’s well within her rights to say it? Or would anything stop her from saying it?
@@sidebysidepod its easy said than done if circumstances make it impossible, that both have to work to sustain the family finance than its the responsibility of husband to be more understanding, many times the husband isn't pulling the financial responsibility that the wife no choice to go our. And she cant say its ur responsibility cos he just won't provide, so not all circumstances are same, depends in the individual.
Hmmmm i think you will find that if you made it very clear that you do not wish to work then new solutions will come. However if there is an element of “you wanting to work yourself” at the same time making it look life as if it’s not a choice, that won’t work…ultimately we have to be sincere in our own conscious.
@@sidebysidepod brother we can go on and on, it all depends on the individual couple and yes islam has all the right guides and practices. Both like i said some people break marriages because they dont see the future and some people make all the sacrifices because of the future. And all individuals are different, and as you are a god concious man ur thinking is not same as someone who isn't..
Feminism's effects on the Ummah has had a devastating impact. Mothers are not advocating their daughter to marry like how they push their daughters to go into higher education.
Society is getting confused by the new western ideologies. We need to go back to Quran and Sunnah. And also realizing both are different and their differences make them interesting. They shouldn’t compete rather complement
Nowadays as men a lot of you do not really accept it. The men are resenting going out to work for.the family 2 jobs or whatever it takes! The husband many times is the one shaming his wife to go out and work in addition to the care of household and family!! Talk more about this pls, this is becoming really rampant. What to do if its your husband belittling and pushing you out of the house??!!
I wish sisters would be brave and come and talk on our podcast so we can have opposing views so we all can learn from them but so far we have to wait and see.
20:20 he’s talking about this hadith, subhan’allah Jabir reported that Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) saw a woman, and so he came to his wife, Zainab, as she was tanning a leather and had sexual intercourse with her. He then went to his Companions and told them: The woman advances and retires in the shape of a devil, so when one of you sees a woman, he should come to his wife, for that will repel what he feels in his heart. - Sahih Muslim 1403a
Alot of families find a bride for their son from a county of origin. Is this because they know a woman from back home will have no choice but to suffer the families toxicity?
The host does seem stubborn with backward mentality. Sometimes i feel like im reading these comments made by my 62 year old immigrant father. I believe, even if your concieved in Bangladesh you’re always going to be backward. No logic, no rational argument can prevail. The Bengali Andrew tate, who’s an absolute joke.
Brothers : I’m being threatened bunny wife’s solicitor for £150,900 in England. I have reluctantly agreed to this to save selling my house I put my life’s Bings into. Now they are saying we won’t accept this settlement until I go by force to the mosque and give talaq. I don’t want to and the mufti agrees. Now she has to come and ask for Khula but is refusing. It’s been a year since we separated. Steal from me from government law ( all I have contributed) I’m 43 she is 31 and her parents are behind all this and have allowed her to go live abroad. No kids. She always worked and contributed nothing. What shall I do ? It’s a real problem that has been very hard to resolve.
This is what happens when you marry someone much younger and not focus on substance but looks, virginity and age… 😮 I’m sure there are many older sisters , your age mates you could have married. Anyway, Qadr Allah… Be smart and don’t divorce yet. Give her space, let her calm down and try and charm her back 😅 It’s time to use your charms to bring her back home. Lots of duah and patience
Assalamu'alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh Wallahi bro I have also seen that said video (55:16) which you are talking about wherein some guy asks about issue regarding the virginity, after he finds out his wife is not a virgin and has been in multiple (sexual) relationships before. In reply Sheikh tells him that in Islam virgin is someone who didn't marry before. He gives further examples like some playboy who had multiple partners before or a girl who had multiple boyfriends before and had SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS can still be regarded as VIRGIN in islam as long they don't get married. So according to this logic someone who has been in a live-in relationship, some prostitute ( many pornstars who didn't marry before) or playboys can still be regarded as virgins as long as they don't marry someone before at the time of their marriage.. Isn't this a Cheat-code? or is this some new woke definition of being virgin nowadays? I have also seen some video's wherein the others speakers had given an idea to write some deal breakers on a paper and therein we can write virginity as a condition or a dealbreaker. But doesn't Sheik's definition about virginity put's this action down the drain. because even if you have been in multiple relationships and sexual relationships, hook-ups and one night stands but long as you don't marry, you are still a virgin. You just need to repent afterwards and deceive someone for being a virgin. This issue has been on my mind recently since a while ago and is weakening my Imaan. I was wondering if this is indeed true? Because I have also saved myself for marriage (age 25, male) and have never been in any kind of relationship before. I also expect the same for my spouse (to be a virgin). But after listening to that sheikh's point regarding virginity in Islam, I have become just too fearful to even consider marrying if people can be so deceiving, just like mentioned in the video. these things make me think of the ayat from Qur'an: Surah Al-An'am (6:116) "And if you obey most of those upon the earth, they will mislead you from the way of Allah. They follow nothing but assumption, and they do nothing but lie." --> here regarding the issue of virginity, modern definition of being virgin in Islam I know that Allah is the most forgiving and most merciful. The sheikh asks the man in the video to also be merciful just like Allah. but the thing is The Most forging and most merciful is He, Allah and not us humans, so how can we even compare to Allah. I am not degrading someone who committed Zina before and repented. But I can't imagine my wife to be someone who did Zina before and deceiving for being one , because I have also saved myself for her. If I ever get married and somehow find out later that she did Zina before then it will be instant Divorce no matter how good she is. Because just as I said it is just unimaginable for me and partly also because of my protective jealousy.
My question to you is. Can you please make a separate video regarding this issue about virginity, marriage, especially for people who never committed zina and have saved themselves for marriage and not be deceived just like this and how to build a healthy relationship? how can both spouses be truthful about this issue without deceiving each other? Can you also pass this comment to Gabriel Al Romaani as he is also doing research about this topic? And indeed Gabriel mentioned about that hadith of Jabir bin 'Abdullah But there is also a hadith about being virgin and who actually is a virgin (18) Narrated 'Aisha : I said, "O Allah's Apostle! Suppose you landed in a valley where there is a tree of which something has been eaten and then you found trees of which nothing has been eaten, of which tree would you let your camel graze?" He said, "(I will let my camel graze) of the one of which nothing has been eaten before." (The sub-narrator added: 'Aisha meant that Allah's Apostle had not married a virgin besides herself .) (Book #62, Hadith #14) Narrated 'Abdullah: The Prophet said, "truthfulness leads to righteousness, and righteousness leads to Paradise. And a man keeps on telling the truth until he becomes a truthful person. Falsehood leads to Al-Fajur (i.e. wickedness, evil-doing), and Al-Fajur (wickedness) leads to the (Hell) Fire, and a man may keep on telling lies till he is written before Allah, a liar." (Book #73, Hadith #116) This hadith clearly demolishes that statement of sheikh about someone being a virgin, that someone who has been in a live-in relationship, some prostitute ( many pornstars who didn't marry before) or playboys can still be regarded as virgins as long as they don't marry someone. -------------- some key points regarding that said video The ways that sheikh explained this thing about virginity is also too manipulative: The fact that sheikh point the gun point at the man the fact that he first mentioned those guys who go to Las Vegas and so on and have been a playboy and then further mentions that women who have had multiple partners before, can still be regarded as Virgins as long as they don't marry. --> this statement itself first of all puts the blame on the men in the first place en then on the women, as if to highlight that men do it too. But the thing is promiscuity is absolutely haram for men and Women this is only video out of all the video's I have seen before regarding this issue, wherein someone at least has some common sense to say that you can't be a virgin after being with multiple partners( regardless of the gender). The fact that you can be still be a virgin even if you have been in multiple relationships and sexual relationships, hook-ups and one night stands but long as you don't marry, can still be regarded as virgin. It just doesn't make sense.
Just mention it as a requirement before marriage (something like "someone who didn't commit immoral actions in her past") Stress the importance of this requirement There is nothing we can do after this, we do tawakkul. The only step to address this is to mention the "no haram past requirement" And now if she deceives, she can be divorced for not agreeing to the requirements
@@aatif7518 Bro that's my point we can set that as a requirement/condition ( like being virgin, or no pre marital (sexual) relationship) but these sheikhs are telling these men or women who committed zina before to just never tell their spouses anything about it, even its the requirement of the other person, so in other words they are telling people to deceive. listen to this timestamp (55:16). they are indirectly telling them to deceive the other person. And mind you this is a very popular sheikh, who many people even regard as a scholar (which he is obviously not). as if he is the main source of knowledge right after Qur'an and Hadith's. according to this sheikh's logic even a prostitute or playboy can be a virgin as long as they don't marry. Or just imagine all those people who are in live-in relationship can still be regarded as virgins as long as they don't get married. new cheat code for life: being in multiple relationships but still being lifelong virgins.
@@aatif7518 Bro that exactly my point We can indeed set that as a requirement (being virgin, no pre-marital (sexual) relationship), but these sheikhs are literally telling these people who committed zina before to just blatantly lie and deceive the other person (future spouse) about any of these things. Or they are telling them to get extremely angry if you bring this type of stuff up in the conversation or to make their father kick you out. and divorcing someone is not as simple as that, because in most of the countries all the laws regarding divorce are heavily biased against men. If we really want to do tawakkul, we can just marry any muslim we want, there was no need for any vetting proces. Because in Islam a muslim man can Marry a muslim woman. But Vetting process is still needed and being done right? where did that tawakkul go in this step than? If you didn't know there is a new trend that's being used even in muslim marriages nowadays. to do blood tests for any diseases like STD and so on or for future generations. or why do people even check how much a man is earning even after finding out the man has a decent job, doesn't risq come down from Allah and everyone's risq is written right? Where did this tawakkul you are talking about go? ( Sorry, if I sound mean, but I just want to expres how serious these issues we are facing now) according to this sheikh's logic can any prostitute or a playboy or pornstars can still be regarded as virgins as long as they don't get married. Let's take this new definition a little further, so just imagine what about all those people who have been in live-in relationship or are currently in, even they can be still be regarded as virgins till they die as long they don't get married. listen to this timestamp (55:16) bro. It's just mind boggling how deceiving people can be. and if you go to that original video, some people are even praising that person for being brave enough to tell that and how much she must trust him to tell all that. But the irony is how can they bring trust into this as they are one's who are deceiving from the beginning. the marriage that has started with lies and deception. For your further information, this sheikh is very famous, some of his fan even regard him as some reputable scholar (but he is not a scholar). You can say some even regard him as the most knowledgeable and trusted source of information after Qur'an and Hadith's. Tutorial for being lifelong virgin while indulging in Zina and so on => don't get married
It's complicated. I have no problem being led by a man and submit so long as he shows me that he is worth submitting to. Men today are cut from a diff cloth, they want princess treatment, the want women to go 50/50, how do you let that lead? When men fix up, trust me when I say women will follow
How are people to be educated if Taboo subjects are not openly discussed? There is no shyness in learning the religion. Our religion has covered every single aspect of life! So it's important to educate.
@kazishafiqur He talks as it's astronomic science he's talking about. Bro, just say the woman is a baby making machine that must spread their legs open when the bearded muslim comes. If sh_e dosnt want then strike h_er. All this other nonsense for what?
@kazishafiqur He's talking as if it's astronomical science. Bro, just say wom_en are baby factories that must sp_read th_eir legs open when the bearded mu_slim comes. If sh_e doesn't feel like it then st_rike h_er. What all this other no_nsense about?
A lot of what Romani says blatantly opposes Islam & he on the one hand criticises the kufr ideology of red pill but on the other hand uses their rhetoric and kufr talking points, memes & soundbytes as if they are at all Islamic & based on Islamic psychology & his solution is for men to be more masculine, that's it!!! Not to be on the Deen truly, how else did men become real men without Deen but he advocates as he said for men to so-called be "masculine" without Deen just like andrew tate and clearly has been predominantly influenced by red pill, MGTOW ideology and especially Andrew Tate with his pseudo new so-called "alpha males". So many of Romanis points can be demolished as completely unislamic & exposed as clearly more influenced by the western ideologies & pseudo anti-Islamic psychological concepts and terms, don't be fooled by his Andrew Tate demeanor, he claims to be masculine when he's distorting masculinity & Islam, presenting beliefs that oppose Islam as the height of the severest hypocrisy & watering down the Religion and misguide people whom listen to him...
a lack of conservative traditional values in Muslim families is to blame for the high divorce rates
Agreed
Traditions and vaules that support the value of a wife are often none existence in south asian families. This is why they will bring women from back home as she will have no choice but to suffer at the hands of a man who is nothing without his toxic mother. @@sidebysidepod
Haven’t watched this brother too much but when I see him online I’m always impressed by his calm demeanour, his hikma and knowledge of male female dynamics.
He is indeed very articulate and knowledgeable. I hope you have watched the full episode.
@@sidebysidepod I hope you remove the music.
@@sidebysidepod maybe Mr Gee was talking about you. 🤲
Awesome podcast with Gabriel Al Romaani....so much valuable awareness
Alhamdulillah
Yes you put the right guest I was there last mouth when he came to San Diego and gave a lecture so much khair jzk and keep making these videos inshallah
Jazakallah for tuning in
Alot of men these days don’t want to provide
That’s true
Really good podcast, so insightful thank you . Gabriel is clearly very smart and knows what he is talking about esp when it comes to women! Really impressive mashallah. I do agree with the above commentator. I’m looking to get married and struggling to find a man who is happy to provide. When I tell them I do not wish to work and raise the children, instead of being impressed men look down on that it’s so Ajeeb I don’t get it. I would have thought men love the idea of having a stay at home wife but doesn’t seem that way from my experience. I just think there is a lack of traditional men and women in general now and that is due to western society indoctrinate Muslims minds it’s scary and sad!
How will men provide when salaries are low, cost of living/ inflation is high?
@@fi1158this is a responsibility put on men just like women also have certain responsibilities which they need to meet .. Allah always provides a way and so long as u haven’t married a woman who is high maintenance and materialistic then it’s absolutely do able.
@@maz8487today woman deamding very much
What great insight from Romaani. Amazing interview! I watch many of your podcasts but this one had me glued. Romaani definitely knows how women think.
❤
Alhamdulillah 🙏
Really great interviewing, convo flowed well!
Thank you 🙏
I have so much respect for brother Gabriel Alromaani!! HE IS THE BEST UNBIASED ISLAMIC PSYCHOLOGIST in this crazy modern time where the majority of muslims are just like sheep, JUST FOLLOWERS OF THE DISBELIEVERS!!😮 MAY ALLAH SWT GUIDE US TO THE TRUTH!!🤲🤲
He creates fitna by propelling gender wars
Great video. Very knowledgeable. We need more people like brother Gabriel to talk about these real issues.
Having experienced the exact situation and divorce i have come to the conclusion
- Woman say Men should provide but dont know what it takes or means for a man to cover every bill imaginable
Give some examples of extra expenses?
@@sidebysidepodWell it depends how the individual male in question organises himself, his finances and his extra expenses. For example - Rent or Mortgage Monthly Payments, Energy Bills, Taxes, Food (Takeaways and Dining Out), Female Clothing, Makeup and Skincare, Gym Membership, Seperate Car (If You Don't Like To Car Share), Car Insurance, Car Tax, Fuel, Phone Bill, Subscriptions, Outdoor Activities, Unforeseen Costs.
I'd say that is a general list of costs modern Muslim man endures. Now depending if your living in poverty, working class or working middle class and doing it will determine how difficult you will find it or plain sailing.
Islamically you aren't expected to provide what isn't a necessity. If you provide a roof over her head, food on the table and bills, then your job as the provider is done. Then, it depends completely on the sister you marry on how high maintenance they are..@@mohammedjehad1299
But isn't that his responsibility according to the religion?
@@VindalooNanano
Very-well conducted podcast, MashaAllah.
Knowledgeable guest as well!
Jazakallah
Women reserve the right not to answer a question like “are you a virgin?”. First of all, I think it’s quite disrespectful and secondly Islamically she doesn’t need to reveal her past sins.
I agree with you and a brother also has the full right to withdraw himself if he is refused an answer? Is that fair?
Its better to avoid the direct question but mention it as a dealbreaker as long as you're others, so if they dont fufill that one, they can refuse moving forward without specifying the reason why.
One of the main reasons is that men are not the sole providers of the family, leading the women not to respect the husband
Do you think men should own their responsibility to the full and they will gain the leadership they deserve?
Brother Gabriel Al Romani is solid figure for many youth
🙏
Great guest and hosting ❤
Alhamdulillah
Unless and until mother hood being a wife is celebrated women will not come back.
Is anyone isn’t?
What does this mean, women will not come back?
Men care more about the womans past, women care more about the mans future. Even clinical psychologist talk about this topic
Sounds about right.
Any Muslim woman you speak to care about a man's past
@@MH-bf4uu You're right. I know there are so many Muslim women want a man who hasn't been with many women. However men tend to care about it more then the women
not really you guys gave us the bad end of the stick we can't predict your future you might die along the way so that's dumb never have i ever thought about someone's future i don't even know what i doing at with my life i should plan mine
@@LittleStarsCare-oh4nnNo you women just decided to put feminism, liberalism, and secularism before your Islam and expect men to be fine with that. Nah I don’t think so.
Gabriel's advice has had a devastating effect on our marriage. We are on the verge of divorce, or at least living in deep unhappiness. And I know what the response will be: feminism is to blame. No. I am by no means a feminist. A marriage is complex, with two human beings forming it. My partner has become unrecognizable since he started following what this man teaches. I no longer recognize the beautiful kindness he used to show in the beginning. The problem with Gabriel and his training is that it falls into the same liberal vein it claims to fight against: these programs are aimed at men who supposedly "lack self-confidence." It inflates an individual's ego. Everything revolves around the man and his desires-desires for women, glory, and money. And of course, it sells. A capitalist master, and marriages destroyed.
Salam sister, have you tried reaching out to Gabriel directly to discuss your issues? I am sure there will be better results if such major issues as described here spoken privately 121? I wish you and your family peace and happiness and hope any issues and differences get resolved soon.
Maybe reflect on yourself 90 percent of the times muslimahs say I am not a feminist but worship the same ideology
@@redpanther9380 maybe It’s more thoughtful to refrain from making assumptions about others, especially when you don’t know their personal beliefs or experiences.
@Hanna-m6z6l sorry how it's assumption
@Hanna-m6z6lWhen it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, then it’s safe to assume it’s a duck. Many sisters claim they aren’t feminist but turn around and regurgitate feminist talking points. It’s like when racist people say they aren’t racist because they have a black friend but turn around and go on a racist tirade blowing dog whistles and use politically correct language to disguise their racism. Cmon let’s be adults here and hold each other accountable which is something I see modern women rarely do and that’s the problem.
This topic is complicated.
When you look at reality, the brothers that can allow their wives to be stay at home tend to poses high amounts of wealth generated through successful business or multiple investments (I.e properties through HARAM mortgages as many Bengalis have).
It’s easy to say to the average brother ‘go and do better’ but can they actually? What’s the average salary even in London? 35k ? Is that enough to run a high rental property (rents very high), bills, food and other activities? A blind man and his dog will even say NO. So unless you’re earning around 100k then don’t expect the average earner to run a household on one income, it’s not possible.
So this means the average person WONT be able to support a wife to be home only/home maker.
It’s easy to speak from a position of power and tell others to ‘work harder’. What if he can’t earn 100k ? Many jobs don’t even pay anything close to that. Let’s be realistic.
Those brothers that can earn very good money in a Halal way should tell their wives to manage the home. But sadly that’s a small percentage, as reality of life is different and we need to own up to it, rather than being superficial. It’s hilarious the amount of brothers who always say ‘wives should be home’ etc.. then you do some analysis and see that’s only possible as their high incomes are though haram means (rental properties on mortgage, haram business etc)
May Allah make it easy for us.
I completely understand your POV and what you have said. We all have been in a position of weakness in our life financially and it is impossible to fund an entire family with £35k ish or under salary. A brother has to earn at least £45k+ in London to allow his wife to stay at home and for him to be the sole provider. Having said that, the question I have is, what is our brothers doing to improve their financial position if they already don’t have the capability? What are the brothers doing with the money they have? Are they cutting costs on unnecessary things? Are they improving themselves every day to be able to earn more? Are they learning new skills to earn more? Or have we given up? I know what I am saying because I have been poor for the majority of my life. But I never allowed myself to accept I will remain poor. We need to take action and not accept defeat!
Great content as always. Addicted to your podcasts!
Glad you like them!
Please remove the music. Jazakallah khair.
Inshallah we are working on it.
Congrats on 10k subs
Thanks 🙏
@@sidebysidepod abit too many ads though I counted 15
We don’t place the ads. UA-cam does.
@@sidebysidepod the amount of ads though you must surely have control over that
No brother. We don’t. You should definitely try UA-cam premium. I tried 4 years ago and never looked back.
Please put these episodes on Apple podcast
It already is.
Can you interview some Bengali business men from the catering industry aa its big part of our heritage . Loved this podcast. Thanks for uploading
Inshallah we will. Thank you for your kind words.
I think lots of blame is placed is on the women, i think the speaker is being biased. The reason not all but mostly divorce happening its because women had enough of being door mat. Yes u are supposed ti compromise but now expectations of women is far more, work, run house, do everything for the family, earn a living. Its get tiring. This speech is very focused making the man some how bypassing everything, and women disregarded. I wonder how he advises his client. Its very one sided , siding one side the man.
Just as thought what if a woman refuses to earn a living and says to her husband that’s your duty and she’s well within her rights to say it? Or would anything stop her from saying it?
@@sidebysidepod its easy said than done if circumstances make it impossible, that both have to work to sustain the family finance than its the responsibility of husband to be more understanding, many times the husband isn't pulling the financial responsibility that the wife no choice to go our. And she cant say its ur responsibility cos he just won't provide, so not all circumstances are same, depends in the individual.
Hmmmm i think you will find that if you made it very clear that you do not wish to work then new solutions will come. However if there is an element of “you wanting to work yourself” at the same time making it look life as if it’s not a choice, that won’t work…ultimately we have to be sincere in our own conscious.
@@sidebysidepod brother we can go on and on, it all depends on the individual couple and yes islam has all the right guides and practices. Both like i said some people break marriages because they dont see the future and some people make all the sacrifices because of the future. And all individuals are different, and as you are a god concious man ur thinking is not same as someone who isn't..
@@ravinravin5483i agrée with you . A lot of women work and are the ones responsible for the kids and the household, clearly it becomes too much.
Feminism's effects on the Ummah has had a devastating impact. Mothers are not advocating their daughter to marry like how they push their daughters to go into higher education.
Thank you very much for bringing him and talk about it openly.
Jazakallah
Society is getting confused by the new western ideologies. We need to go back to Quran and Sunnah. And also realizing both are different and their differences make them interesting. They shouldn’t compete rather complement
Put your Quran and Sunnah in your as/s Proudly ex-Muslim
great podcast, god bless
Thanks for listening
Nowadays as men a lot of you do not really accept it. The men are resenting going out to work for.the family 2 jobs or whatever it takes!
The husband many times is the one shaming his wife to go out and work in addition to the care of household and family!!
Talk more about this pls, this is becoming really rampant. What to do if its your husband belittling and pushing you out of the house??!!
Exactly. No one talks about it, and it's so so common.
I wish sisters would be brave and come and talk on our podcast so we can have opposing views so we all can learn from them but so far we have to wait and see.
20:20 he’s talking about this hadith, subhan’allah
Jabir reported that Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) saw a woman, and so he came to his wife, Zainab, as she was tanning a leather and had sexual intercourse with her. He then went to his Companions and told them:
The woman advances and retires in the shape of a devil, so when one of you sees a woman, he should come to his wife, for that will repel what he feels in his heart. - Sahih Muslim 1403a
Great indepth interview. And kudos to the host for his amazing interview structure and coordination. Jazak' Allah ❤
Wow im impressed with this brother's pov. Good stuff mA
Great episode brother
Thank you
Alot of families find a bride for their son from a county of origin. Is this because they know a woman from back home will have no choice but to suffer the families toxicity?
Please try to avoid music ya habibi
Inshallah
The host does seem stubborn with backward mentality. Sometimes i feel like im reading these comments made by my 62 year old immigrant father.
I believe, even if your concieved in Bangladesh you’re always going to be backward.
No logic, no rational argument can prevail.
The Bengali Andrew tate, who’s an absolute joke.
What’s with the anger my bro?
When are you getting Ali Dawah?
Soon 🔜 inshallah
Don't bring him @@sidebysidepod
Wallah he’s so right about social media - shaytan is running rings around those you use it
Bhaisab, you should get Shaykh Kazi Luthfur Rahman on the podcast.
He doesn’t do podcasts unfortunately…
Brothers : I’m being threatened bunny wife’s solicitor for £150,900 in England. I have reluctantly agreed to this to save selling my house I put my life’s
Bings into. Now they are saying we won’t accept this settlement until I go by force to the mosque and give talaq. I don’t want to and the mufti agrees. Now she has to come and ask for Khula but is refusing. It’s been a year since we separated. Steal from me from government law ( all I have contributed) I’m 43 she is 31 and her parents are behind all this and have allowed her to go live abroad. No kids. She always worked and contributed nothing. What shall I do ? It’s a real problem that has been very hard to resolve.
May Allah help you and other brothers in these types of predicaments. Have you tried a mediator?
This is what happens when you marry someone much younger and not focus on substance but looks, virginity and age… 😮
I’m sure there are many older sisters , your age mates you could have married.
Anyway, Qadr Allah…
Be smart and don’t divorce yet. Give her space, let her calm down and try and charm her back 😅
It’s time to use your charms to bring her back home.
Lots of duah and patience
@@sidebysidepod i will to find new mediators ! Any suggestions
@@Zazezoo charm her back ? I’m must watch a few oo7!bond movies for that.
Have you been to a Sharia court?
put the time stamps
It’s there no?
@@sidebysidepod 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡
Assalamu'alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh
Wallahi bro
I have also seen that said video (55:16) which you are talking about wherein some guy asks about issue regarding the virginity, after he finds out his wife is not a virgin and has been in multiple (sexual) relationships before. In reply Sheikh tells him that in Islam virgin is someone who didn't marry before. He gives further examples like some playboy who had multiple partners before or a girl who had multiple boyfriends before and had SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS can still be regarded as VIRGIN in islam as long they don't get married. So according to this logic someone who has been in a live-in relationship, some prostitute ( many pornstars who didn't marry before) or playboys can still be regarded as virgins as long as they don't marry someone before at the time of their marriage..
Isn't this a Cheat-code? or is this some new woke definition of being virgin nowadays?
I have also seen some video's wherein the others speakers had given an idea to write some deal breakers on a paper and therein we can write virginity as a condition or a dealbreaker.
But doesn't Sheik's definition about virginity put's this action down the drain. because even if you have been in multiple relationships and sexual relationships, hook-ups and one night stands but long as you don't marry, you are still a virgin. You just need to repent afterwards and deceive someone for being a virgin.
This issue has been on my mind recently since a while ago and is weakening my Imaan. I was wondering if this is indeed true?
Because I have also saved myself for marriage (age 25, male) and have never been in any kind of relationship before. I also expect the same for my spouse (to be a virgin).
But after listening to that sheikh's point regarding virginity in Islam, I have become just too fearful to even consider marrying if people can be so deceiving, just like mentioned in the video.
these things make me think of the ayat from Qur'an:
Surah Al-An'am (6:116)
"And if you obey most of those upon the earth, they will mislead you from the way of Allah. They follow nothing but assumption, and they do nothing but lie."
--> here regarding the issue of virginity, modern definition of being virgin in Islam
I know that Allah is the most forgiving and most merciful. The sheikh asks the man in the video to also be merciful just like Allah. but the thing is The Most forging and most merciful is He, Allah and not us humans, so how can we even compare to Allah.
I am not degrading someone who committed Zina before and repented. But I can't imagine my wife to be someone who did Zina before and deceiving for being one , because I have also saved myself for her. If I ever get married and somehow find out later that she did Zina before then it will be instant Divorce no matter how good she is. Because just as I said it is just unimaginable for me and partly also because of my protective jealousy.
My question to you is. Can you please make a separate video regarding this issue about virginity, marriage, especially for people who never committed zina and have saved themselves for marriage and not be deceived just like this and how to build a healthy relationship? how can both spouses be truthful about this issue without deceiving each other?
Can you also pass this comment to Gabriel Al Romaani as he is also doing research about this topic?
And indeed Gabriel mentioned about that hadith of Jabir bin 'Abdullah
But there is also a hadith about being virgin and who actually is a virgin
(18) Narrated 'Aisha : I said, "O Allah's Apostle! Suppose you landed in a valley where there is a tree of which something has been eaten and then you found trees of which nothing has been eaten, of which tree would you let your camel graze?" He said, "(I will let my camel graze) of the one of which nothing has been eaten before." (The sub-narrator added: 'Aisha meant that Allah's Apostle had not married a virgin besides herself .) (Book #62, Hadith #14)
Narrated 'Abdullah: The Prophet said, "truthfulness leads to righteousness, and righteousness leads to Paradise. And a man keeps on telling the truth until he becomes a truthful person. Falsehood leads to Al-Fajur (i.e. wickedness, evil-doing), and Al-Fajur (wickedness) leads to the (Hell) Fire, and a man may keep on telling lies till he is written before Allah, a liar." (Book #73, Hadith #116)
This hadith clearly demolishes that statement of sheikh about someone being a virgin, that someone who has been in a live-in relationship, some prostitute ( many pornstars who didn't marry before) or playboys can still be regarded as virgins as long as they don't marry someone.
--------------
some key points regarding that said video
The ways that sheikh explained this thing about virginity is also too manipulative:
The fact that sheikh point the gun point at the man
the fact that he first mentioned those guys who go to Las Vegas and so on and have been a playboy and then further mentions that women who have had multiple partners before, can still be regarded as Virgins as long as they don't marry.
--> this statement itself first of all puts the blame on the men in the first place en then on the women, as if to highlight that men do it too.
But the thing is promiscuity is absolutely haram for men and Women
this is only video out of all the video's I have seen before regarding this issue, wherein someone at least has some common sense to say that you can't be a virgin after being with multiple partners( regardless of the gender).
The fact that you can be still be a virgin even if you have been in multiple relationships and sexual relationships, hook-ups and one night stands but long as you don't marry, can still be regarded as virgin. It just doesn't make sense.
Just mention it as a requirement before marriage (something like "someone who didn't commit immoral actions in her past")
Stress the importance of this requirement
There is nothing we can do after this, we do tawakkul.
The only step to address this is to mention the "no haram past requirement"
And now if she deceives, she can be divorced for not agreeing to the requirements
@@aatif7518 Bro that's my point
we can set that as a requirement/condition ( like being virgin, or no pre marital (sexual) relationship) but these sheikhs are telling these men or women who committed zina before to just never tell their spouses anything about it, even its the requirement of the other person, so in other words they are telling people to deceive. listen to this timestamp (55:16). they are indirectly telling them to deceive the other person.
And mind you this is a very popular sheikh, who many people even regard as a scholar (which he is obviously not). as if he is the main source of knowledge right after Qur'an and Hadith's.
according to this sheikh's logic even a prostitute or playboy can be a virgin as long as they don't marry. Or just imagine all those people who are in live-in relationship can still be regarded as virgins as long as they don't get married. new cheat code for life: being in multiple relationships but still being lifelong virgins.
@@aatif7518 Bro that exactly my point
We can indeed set that as a requirement (being virgin, no pre-marital (sexual) relationship), but these sheikhs are literally telling these people who committed zina before to just blatantly lie and deceive the other person (future spouse) about any of these things. Or they are telling them to get extremely angry if you bring this type of stuff up in the conversation or to make their father kick you out.
and divorcing someone is not as simple as that, because in most of the countries all the laws regarding divorce are heavily biased against men.
If we really want to do tawakkul, we can just marry any muslim we want, there was no need for any vetting proces. Because in Islam a muslim man can Marry a muslim woman.
But Vetting process is still needed and being done right? where did that tawakkul go in this step than?
If you didn't know there is a new trend that's being used even in muslim marriages nowadays. to do blood tests for any diseases like STD and so on or for future generations. or why do people even check how much a man is earning even after finding out the man has a decent job, doesn't risq come down from Allah and everyone's risq is written right? Where did this tawakkul you are talking about go? ( Sorry, if I sound mean, but I just want to expres how serious these issues we are facing now)
according to this sheikh's logic can any prostitute or a playboy or pornstars can still be regarded as virgins as long as they don't get married. Let's take this new definition a little further, so just imagine what about all those people who have been in live-in relationship or are currently in, even they can be still be regarded as virgins till they die as long they don't get married. listen to this timestamp (55:16) bro. It's just mind boggling how deceiving people can be. and if you go to that original video, some people are even praising that person for being brave enough to tell that and how much she must trust him to tell all that. But the irony is how can they bring trust into this as they are one's who are deceiving from the beginning. the marriage that has started with lies and deception.
For your further information, this sheikh is very famous, some of his fan even regard him as some reputable scholar (but he is not a scholar). You can say some even regard him as the most knowledgeable and trusted source of information after Qur'an and Hadith's.
Tutorial for being lifelong virgin while indulging in Zina and so on => don't get married
@@kujojotaro4335 he is not a sheikh. He is a counsellor
Amazing
Thank you 🙏
It's complicated. I have no problem being led by a man and submit so long as he shows me that he is worth submitting to. Men today are cut from a diff cloth, they want princess treatment, the want women to go 50/50, how do you let that lead?
When men fix up, trust me when I say women will follow
I agree. ☝️
45:10 okkkkkk I THOUGHT HE WAS GONNA SAY HUSBAND NOT PARENTS WTF
U not allowed to have sex outside of marriage. Wot does it matter if u are still called a virgin or not.
Point is?
So if a guy works a standard job it's not enough?? What is this guy talking about!
He is promoting materialism as a factor for marriage.
No he is not. Please don’t take things out of context.
You clearly have not understood his points.
Bring dona mona alyedreessy to your podcasts
We have reached out and she was willing to do it however she said she cannot be seen and unfortunately our show cannot cater to this request.
Mashallah Alhamdullilah
Very beneficial
I think some of the taboo stories should be avoided as an example.
Alhamdulilah in Islam has solutions to all this taboo from the time of receiving till kiamah
We need to address and discuss problems.
How are people to be educated if Taboo subjects are not openly discussed? There is no shyness in learning the religion. Our religion has covered every single aspect of life! So it's important to educate.
Women don't want to share their husbands with other women. Polygamy is a very cruel for women. They should not accept it.
What faith do you follow my friend?
Allah made polygyny halal
Here comes some astronomy science from muslims as usual
??? 🤣
@kazishafiqur He talks as it's astronomic science he's talking about. Bro, just say the woman is a baby making machine that must spread their legs open when the bearded muslim comes. If sh_e dosnt want then strike h_er. All this other nonsense for what?
@kazishafiqur He's talking as if it's astronomical science. Bro, just say wom_en are baby factories that must sp_read th_eir legs open when the bearded mu_slim comes. If sh_e doesn't feel like it then st_rike h_er. What all this other no_nsense about?
A lot of what Romani says blatantly opposes Islam & he on the one hand criticises the kufr ideology of red pill but on the other hand uses their rhetoric and kufr talking points, memes & soundbytes as if they are at all Islamic & based on Islamic psychology & his solution is for men to be more masculine, that's it!!!
Not to be on the Deen truly, how else did men become real men without Deen but he advocates as he said for men to so-called be "masculine" without Deen just like andrew tate and clearly has been predominantly influenced by red pill, MGTOW ideology and especially Andrew Tate with his pseudo new so-called "alpha males".
So many of Romanis points can be demolished as completely unislamic & exposed as clearly more influenced by the western ideologies & pseudo anti-Islamic psychological concepts and terms, don't be fooled by his Andrew Tate demeanor, he claims to be masculine when he's distorting masculinity & Islam, presenting beliefs that oppose Islam as the height of the severest hypocrisy & watering down the Religion and misguide people whom listen to him...
Can u give an example of 1
Salam can you share some examples of what he said was unislamic / contradictory in this episode?
Agree absolute bullshit this video
Example?
@@sidebysidepodI’m not sure they can see your comments. Unless they physically opened the exact comment.