Gen X and younger are completely turned off by this kind of talk. Notice the difference between this old-school stuff and the way Debra Fileta and Gary Thomas talk about marriage and relationships in their FoF talk. Debra and Gary have an approach that the rest of us can relate to and builds relationship instead of 'duty' and 'submit' and placing blame.
Both husband and wife get to enjoy intimacy and both men and women must also fulfill their duty to offer their bodies to each other. The man was reminded in the NT to love his wife and the wife was reminded to submit to her husband.
It's an uncomfortable subject for many people, counselors, and pastors. I've found that most pastors are not very well trained to counsel resulting in poor counsel. Everyone is a counselor, and some are good and some are "trying their best". We must realize that not all counsel is wise, and the proverb "there is wisdom in a multitude of counselors" is presuming some of the counsel is wise in the first place, so a multitude of unwise counselors still yields unwise counsel. Moral of the story... pick your counsel wisely, and check what they say with Scripture like the Bereans did.
Excellent point!! Adam was reprimanded for this very thing, listening to poor counsel. " Because you have heeded the voice of your wife and have eaten from the tree o commanded you saying you shall not eat of it cursed is the ground.... ' Genesis 3:17. Wisdom is the principal thing, therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting, get understanding. Proverbs 4:7
what about when your lack of desire for your husband is due to recovering from your husband's affair? Is has been 2 years & there's extreme remorse on his part, but I'm still struggling with the pain of it all...I just dont feel any desire for him.
Lady R I’m sorry you feel this way I can relate and even after god working in my pain thoughts would enter my mind in the middle of being intimate so what has worked most of the time is praying before hand and also and it might sound silly but it’s worked. It’s to imagen a cover over your bed while you are being intimate to protect from the thoughts that prevent from fully enjoy it. I pray this works for you our gives you ideas of what can work for you.
Sonia Chinchilla, first thank you for your response and advice, its always comforting to know your not alone....thank you. I will try your visual advise as well, praying for both of us, I know God will work us through this difficult time...it's just really painful. thanks sis
Thank you, Lady R and Sonia, for sharing your hearts. Infidelity can be absolutely devastating to those it victimizes - we know, because we’ve heard from many others whose experiences align with yours. It sounds like you’re both trying to work things out with your husbands and we commend you for the steps you’ve already taken to heal the wounds of the past and put your marriage on a new and stronger footing; certainly there are many challenges involved. As you probably realize, restoring trust and rebuilding your relationship will take time, as well as great deal of determination and commitment. The two of you are going to need the Lord’s help, comfort, and guidance all along the way. Though the task may seem overwhelming at times, we assure you that there’s a great deal of hope for this journey, and we believe it’s well worth taking. The counselors on our staff here at Focus have walked beside many couples in similar situations, and we’d like to pass along to you some of the suggestions they often share. We hope you’ll find them helpful. First, we strongly recommend that you, your spouse, and your children (if you have any) to commit to family counseling. Your initial item of business is to work through the issues in your marriage that contributed to these circumstances in the first place. A trained counselor can help you examine your relationship and determine which areas need to be shored up. If you don’t perform this part of the process with great care, unresolved problems will only resurface later. Once you’ve dealt with these marital issues, it’s critical that your kids join you in counseling. They too have emotional baggage to unpack, and it’s valuable for this to be done with a qualified Christian family therapist. For referrals we strongly suggest that you contact Focus on the Family’s Counseling Department. Just call Monday through Friday between 6:00 A.M. and 8:00 P.M. Mountain time at 1-800-A-FAMILY (232-6459). The Family Help Center staff member who answers the phone will arrange for a counselor to call you back to discuss your situation and if appropriate, direct you to a licensed family practitioner in your area. You may also be interested in some resources designed to help marriages that have been impacted by an affair. The following books are most likely available at your local public library: Torn Asunder: Recovering from an Extramarital Affair, by Dave Carder and Duncan Jaenicke; Love Must Be Tough: New Hope for Marriages in Crisis, by Dr. James C. Dobson; Fool-Proofing Your Life: An Honorable Way to Deal with the Impossible People in Your Life, by Jan Silvious; Unfaithful: Hope and Healing After Infidelity, by Gary and Mona Shriver; and Hedges: Loving Your Marriage Enough to Protect It, by Jerry Jenkins. In addition, a series of articles on “Affairs and Adultery” and “When Your Marriage Needs Help” can be located under the Marriage & Relationships section of our web site -www.focusonthefamily.com. We also suggest that you take a look at www.marriagealive.com, the website of Dave and Claudia Arp, a husband and wife team who strive to help couples build better marriages and families. Please know that you have a place in our prayers, friends. As you commit to this course of action and seek God’s grace and strength, we believe that He has good things in store for you and your marriage. May God’s love and peace surround you, sustain you, and guard your hearts and minds in the days ahead.
Expected to be more supportive of women. It sounds like another way to say “It is her fault, he doesn’t get it every third day, it is her responsibility to make it happen. Stop multitasking thoughts in bed. And yes, turn the light on, it will definitely make you feel good about yourself, if you are a bikini model”
No. The woman can let go of her being DRIVEN everyday by her duties when she know she CAN. Men need a melting period when they get home. Women don’t have this because they “WORK” 24-7 at home. It’s gonna take MORE than getting your mind back on track. How about HE SAYS TO HER “Dont worry about dinner or ILL DO MY OWN LAUNDRY THIS MONTH? or she NEEDS TO DECOMPRESS FIRST and THEN “gathering of her thoughts” won’t be another monumental effort. And it needs to be CONTINUOUS with him to come into HER WORKING WORLD and be interested and be AFFIRMING . She needs to experience a female cave.
After the fall of man / Adam how can anyone have a great life with your spouse I believe it’s impossible sex immorality adultery, it’s just about everywhere so I’m just by myself it’s better and all I care about is God the Father through Jesus Christ
Melissa Haneline i’m noticing this grammatical error is pervasive among 20-somethings not knowing “women” is plural of “woman.” seems obvious to me, same as men/man. makes me wonder
@@kieshagomez7002 - No disrespect, but no, that'd almost be worse since we certainly don't do this activity as a group. It's just laziness to not to use the correct term.
Are you really making a video about this subject with 3 men and one woman!?!?!?! No I haven't watched this and it may well contain useful insights, but for goodness sake guys, get a grip!
This is a podcast who's hosts are two men. They brought on a couple to discuss the book that the couple wrote together. If anything it's refreshing that the woman got plenty of room to speak for herself.
@@JohnDretiredAre you seriously suggesting that I am somehow less of a man, for recommending that women be trusted/encouraged/allowed to speak about their own sexuality?
"He affirms. She invites." Great advice! The woman needs to feel good herself before she can share herself with her husband.
Gen X and younger are completely turned off by this kind of talk. Notice the difference between this old-school stuff and the way Debra Fileta and Gary Thomas talk about marriage and relationships in their FoF talk. Debra and Gary have an approach that the rest of us can relate to and builds relationship instead of 'duty' and 'submit' and placing blame.
So appreciate this topic on air!!!
Well at least the guys are willing discuss it all- 👏
Both husband and wife get to enjoy intimacy and both men and women must also fulfill their duty to offer their bodies to each other. The man was reminded in the NT to love his wife and the wife was reminded to submit to her husband.
I wish this had closed-captioning. Like many people, I rely on it so that I can fully understand what is being said and taught.
It's an uncomfortable subject for many people, counselors, and pastors. I've found that most pastors are not very well trained to counsel resulting in poor counsel. Everyone is a counselor, and some are good and some are "trying their best". We must realize that not all counsel is wise, and the proverb "there is wisdom in a multitude of counselors" is presuming some of the counsel is wise in the first place, so a multitude of unwise counselors still yields unwise counsel. Moral of the story... pick your counsel wisely, and check what they say with Scripture like the Bereans did.
Excellent point!! Adam was reprimanded for this very thing, listening to poor counsel. " Because you have heeded the voice of your wife and have eaten from the tree o commanded you saying you shall not eat of it cursed is the ground.... ' Genesis 3:17.
Wisdom is the principal thing, therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting, get understanding. Proverbs 4:7
what about when your lack of desire for your husband is due to recovering from your husband's affair? Is has been 2 years & there's extreme remorse on his part, but I'm still struggling with the pain of it all...I just dont feel any desire for him.
Lady R I’m sorry you feel this way I can relate and even after god working in my pain thoughts would enter my mind in the middle of being intimate so what has worked most of the time is praying before hand and also and it might sound silly but it’s worked. It’s to imagen a cover over your bed while you are being intimate to protect from the thoughts that prevent from fully enjoy it. I pray this works for you our gives you ideas of what can work for you.
Sonia Chinchilla, first thank you for your response and advice, its always comforting to know your not alone....thank you. I will try your visual advise as well, praying for both of us, I know God will work us through this difficult time...it's just really painful. thanks sis
Thank you, Lady R and Sonia, for sharing your hearts. Infidelity can be absolutely devastating to those it victimizes - we know, because we’ve heard from many others whose experiences align with yours. It sounds like you’re both trying to work things out with your husbands and we commend you for the steps you’ve already taken to heal the wounds of the past and put your marriage on a new and stronger footing; certainly there are many challenges involved. As you probably realize, restoring trust and rebuilding your relationship will take time, as well as great deal of determination and commitment. The two of you are going to need the Lord’s help, comfort, and guidance all along the way. Though the task may seem overwhelming at times, we assure you that there’s a great deal of hope for this journey, and we believe it’s well worth taking.
The counselors on our staff here at Focus have walked beside many couples in similar situations, and we’d like to pass along to you some of the suggestions they often share. We hope you’ll find them helpful. First, we strongly recommend that you, your spouse, and your children (if you have any) to commit to family counseling. Your initial item of business is to work through the issues in your marriage that contributed to these circumstances in the first place. A trained counselor can help you examine your relationship and determine which areas need to be shored up. If you don’t perform this part of the process with great care, unresolved problems will only resurface later. Once you’ve dealt with these marital issues, it’s critical that your kids join you in counseling. They too have emotional baggage to unpack, and it’s valuable for this to be done with a qualified Christian family therapist. For referrals we strongly suggest that you contact Focus on the Family’s Counseling Department. Just call Monday through Friday between 6:00 A.M. and 8:00 P.M. Mountain time at 1-800-A-FAMILY (232-6459). The Family Help Center staff member who answers the phone will arrange for a counselor to call you back to discuss your situation and if appropriate, direct you to a licensed family practitioner in your area.
You may also be interested in some resources designed to help marriages that have been impacted by an affair. The following books are most likely available at your local public library: Torn Asunder: Recovering from an Extramarital Affair, by Dave Carder and Duncan Jaenicke; Love Must Be Tough: New Hope for Marriages in Crisis, by Dr. James C. Dobson; Fool-Proofing Your Life: An Honorable Way to Deal with the Impossible People in Your Life, by Jan Silvious; Unfaithful: Hope and Healing After Infidelity, by Gary and Mona Shriver; and Hedges: Loving Your Marriage Enough to Protect It, by Jerry Jenkins.
In addition, a series of articles on “Affairs and Adultery” and “When Your Marriage Needs Help” can be located under the Marriage & Relationships section of our web site -www.focusonthefamily.com. We also suggest that you take a look at www.marriagealive.com, the website of Dave and Claudia Arp, a husband and wife team who strive to help couples build better marriages and families.
Please know that you have a place in our prayers, friends. As you commit to this course of action and seek God’s grace and strength, we believe that He has good things in store for you and your marriage. May God’s love and peace surround you, sustain you, and guard your hearts and minds in the days ahead.
What a sweet couple
Mennonites? I guessed so, as I read your name. I am from Mennonites church from Germany. Greetings.
Good work
Nothing before marriage, nothing afterwards either. Religion is amazing.
Expected to be more supportive of women. It sounds like another way to say “It is her fault, he doesn’t get it every third day, it is her responsibility to make it happen. Stop multitasking thoughts in bed. And yes, turn the light on, it will definitely make you feel good about yourself, if you are a bikini model”
No. The woman can let go of her being DRIVEN everyday by her duties when she know she CAN. Men need a melting period when they get home. Women don’t have this because they “WORK” 24-7 at home. It’s gonna take MORE than getting your mind back on track. How about HE SAYS TO HER “Dont worry about dinner or ILL DO MY OWN
LAUNDRY THIS MONTH? or she NEEDS TO DECOMPRESS FIRST and THEN “gathering of her thoughts” won’t be another monumental effort. And it needs to be CONTINUOUS with him to come into HER WORKING WORLD and be interested and be AFFIRMING . She needs to experience a female cave.
I rebuke your feminism and ask you to stop preaching such wickedness where you satanically invert the roles of husband and wife.
I think they try to talk to that husband @13:09
After the fall of man / Adam how can anyone have a great life with your spouse I believe it’s impossible sex immorality adultery, it’s just about everywhere so I’m just by myself it’s better and all I care about is God the Father through Jesus Christ
Yep, men are cheaters!!! I finally gave up my dreams of wifehood!!
OK first mistake: Three men one woman
Are you surprised though?
I don't get it. How does the number of women and men involved in the discussion have any relevance?
These are kikadoodledoos right??
Where is part 2
Hi Megan! Part 2 will be posted tomorrow :)
Who writes the titles for these episodes? It's as a woman, not women.
Melissa Haneline i’m noticing this grammatical error is pervasive among 20-somethings not knowing “women” is plural of “woman.” seems obvious to me, same as men/man. makes me wonder
Perhaps it should read "as women" instead of "as a women".
@@kieshagomez7002 - No disrespect, but no, that'd almost be worse since we certainly don't do this activity as a group.
It's just laziness to not to use the correct term.
@@melissahaneline6544 I understand how it might read that way depending on how you process it; for me not a problem.
Are you really making a video about this subject with 3 men and one woman!?!?!?! No I haven't watched this and it may well contain useful insights, but for goodness sake guys, get a grip!
This is a podcast who's hosts are two men. They brought on a couple to discuss the book that the couple wrote together. If anything it's refreshing that the woman got plenty of room to speak for herself.
Don't be a beta.
@@JohnDretiredAre you seriously suggesting that I am somehow less of a man, for recommending that women be trusted/encouraged/allowed to speak about their own sexuality?