Let me know what you guys think about this in the comments. Check out Conversational Intelligence and get an additional 20% discount on the annual subscription at shortform.com/cole
@Cole Hastings first of all I really enjoyed the video and even as a woman I love watching your stuff I know it’s based around men but it’s still very beneficial for us women too. Second though you did forget to put the playlist at the end of the video.
According to a nun, said to me: "Talking to people on zoom Live without revealing their face on Camera, automatically you are killing the social interaction." And I didn't know that.
The problem I have with these videos is that you're pointing out the obvious, I mean really we're all very aware of the realities of the modern world, so I dont understand the point of this video?
Gen Z here and I hate this virtual world we've become dependent on. Everything is fake and it's so bad for our mental health. Let's all take the steps to rebuild our communities and actually have face to face interactions with people.
In my opinion, this virtual world is the most real people have ever been in history "Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth." Oscar Wilde
@@watching7721 double edged sword. It’s also anonymous. No creditability and trolls having no accountability for what they say. Pros and cons to everything.
I'm 41. Growing up house parties where a big part of making friends and finding partners. I could never afford a house to create my own social events. No one young now can afford a house to create social events. I didn't choose the internet and social isolation. I suspect a lot of so called internet addicted people are just working with what they have.
It's true. Most of us are too exhausted to consider getting a drink after work fun anymore. I've made friends, but no one has time to do anything except send memes and text about the rising cost to exist. I'm ready for an apocalypse. I hate this.
@@lindsayb7811 same. At this point meeting a couple nights a week with friends at my hobby shop to play Yu-Gi-Oh is really the only thing I do outside of work. I am thankful for that though with how technology dependant everything is today
Don't worry. The Baby Boomers had a GREAT life. Got to whore around in the 60s, buy $25K houses now worth $1M in the 70s, got good jobs in the 80s, cashed in on the 90s, had a real estate boom in the 2000s, welcomed freaky woke culture in the 2010s (because they just want to live out their lives) and shut the world down in 2020 (because God Forbid they ever die).
I think there is more to this lack of a sense of community than what you've said here. There was already a lack of community in the U.S. in the 80s and 90s. I remember asking my parents about this. They felt that TV as a source of entertainment was a huge one, since before people spent time talking to each other more as entertainment. Neighbors used to know one another. I asked them why that was. Oddly - they said the fact that everyone has air conditioning now and keeps their windows closed was another reason. Before people kept their windows open because they didn't have air conditioning. Before, women were not in the workforce the way they are now. They were home more. This led to women hanging out over each other's houses and talking to each other more. People also had more kids. Now, a lot of people have no kids, or they have maybe 1 kid, maximum 2 kids. Before people had 4 and 5 kids. The kids had friends, and the parents met their kids' friends' parents and made friends that way. Church was a major source of community that most people don't participate in now. Families used to sit down and have dinner together. We weren't allowed to watch TV during dinner. Who does that now? There started to be less trust between people when bad news started to be broadcast on TV more. In the 70s, you heard more and more about people who went missing when they went hitchhiking, or about people kidnapping children, etc. People began locking their doors more and began letting their children play outside with the neighborhood kids less out of fear. If someone rings your doorbell, who even answers the door now? If someone calls on the phone and you don't know who it is, do you pick up the phone? Before we didn't have caller ID, so you always picked up the phone because otherwise you might miss a call from someone you wanted to talk to. What about the fact that everyone is working now? No one is home during the day, so people just don't have time for socializing anymore? People are tired. It's sad, but true.
when you have peers wanting to mask and jab you, any future of 'community' is over. many of you have proven you should never be trusted or talked too, I'm talking to you mask and jab lunatics. the past couple years have shown the true colors of our society. most of you can go to hell.
Nothing wrong with being alone( not lonely) and if being alone makes you lonely, that's a you problem not a society problem. I been alone for 25 years, had no friends or a boyfriend ,and have no problem with it. Only problem I have is ppl trying to make me a problem for not socializing or befriending them when I don't want to. Then when I say I don't want to hang with em they get pissy and start nit picking. Something be wrong with ppl who can't be content with being alone or need a ton of friends. Most ppl are miserable cause they trying to live for society illusions (a.k.a status) that's why all these relationships( dating, marriage, friendships etc) be looking piss, poor, and miserable cause they are transactional not genuine. Gotta train your mind to be content with or without something. We are born in a doom to collapse universe and we have to live with bad things affecting our life. Happiness and sadness are fleeting emotions. That's why being in a any relationships want make you feel fulfilled cuz if it did folks who have friends, kids, spouse etc want be on social media complaining about being unfulfilled even with having a life handed to them easily( rich ppl is an example). Anyways being alone has benefits then being in any relationship. Imagine feeling discontent for being single or friendless and when you finally get what you desire it wasn't what the dream was like. Now youre divorce or lost friends and you're stuck with bitter, spiteful, and revengeful ppl who makes your life worst. you wasted most of your life being discontent when you could of been satisfied with being alone first ,have more happy days, and worry less when bad things do happen no matter the situation as you can handle it alone. Just be content, carefree, and silence your thoughts.
I think hustle culture could also be a part of the equation. If you're focusing on making money and think that social activities are a distraction or just something to improve your social status, then you're not gonna help build real communities.
I'm going to make a bizarre analogy here, but I remember playing Runescape back in the the late 2000's. The game was grindy as hell back then, and it was full of noobs who didn't know what they were doing, just like me. I remember logging in to do painfully slow grinding at about the same time every day on the same server, and I would inevitably run into other people who just happened to do the same activity as me in the same spot every day. With nothing better to do we often ended up chatting about random stuff to make the grind more tolerable, and I ended up making friends with quite a few of them. Eventually I got bored with the grind and stopped laying. I tried playing Old School Runescape a few years ago. The game felt way less grindy than it did back in the day. This time I knew what I was doing and the game had plenty of quality of life improvements, so I quickly surpasses the level of my original account. However, it just wasn't the same. The game has always been overrun by bots, and that hadn't changed. But now it was also overrun by players who behaved just like bots, just like me. Players so concerned with optimizing efficiency that there was no room for casual conversation. Everyone hopped servers constantly as well, (there are many strategies that rely on it,) so I can't remember a single instance of meeting the same player multiple days in a row. At one point I realized that I was having more fun trying to put together my own little bot in python to automate the grind, rather than by actually playing the game. Once I was happy with my bot I abandoned the game entirely.
@@Dave_of_Mordor It's a government problem. Read here. Why the transfer of... decisions from the individuals and organizations directly involved often depicted collectively and impersonally as "the market" - to third parties who pay no price for being wrong should be expected to produce better results for society at large is a question seldom asked, much less answered. ~Thomas Sowell It is hard to imagine a more stupid or more dangerous way of making decisions than by putting those decisions in the hands of people who pay no price for being wrong. ~Thomas Sowell The next time you see a bum leaving drug needles in a park where children play or urinating in the street, you are seeing your tax dollars at work and the end result of the vision of the anointed. ~Thomas Sowell The 'private sector' of the economy is, in fact, the voluntary sector; and the 'public sector' is, in fact, the coercive sector. ~Henry Hazlitt It is no crime to be ignorant of economics, which is, after all, a specialized discipline and one that most people consider to be a 'dismal science.' But it is totally irresponsible to have a loud and vociferous opinion on economic subjects while remaining in this state of ignorance. ~Murray Newton Rothbard
@@Dave_of_Mordor It is curious that people tend to regard government as a quasi-divine, selfless, Santa Claus organization. Government was constructed neither for ability nor for the exercise of loving care; government was built for the use of force and for necessarily demagogic appeals for votes. If individuals do not know their own interests in many cases, they are free to turn to private experts for guidance. It is absurd to say that they will be served better by a coercive, demagogic apparatus. ~Murray Newton Rothbard Briefly, the State is that organization in society which attempts to maintain a monopoly of the use of force and violence in a given territorial area; in particular, it is the only organization in society that obtains its revenue not by voluntary contribution or payment for services rendered but by coercion. ~Murray Newton Rothbard
@@Dave_of_Mordor In this century, the human race faces, once again, the virulent reign of the State-of the State now armed with the fruits of man's creative powers, confiscated and perverted to its own aims. The last few centuries were times when men tried to place constitutional and other limits on the State, only to find that such limits, as with all other attempts, have failed. Of all the numerous forms that governments have taken over the centuries, of all the concepts and institutions that have been tried, none has succeeded in keeping the State in check. The problem of the State is evidently as far from solution as ever. Perhaps new paths of inquiry must be explored, if the successful, final solution of the State question is ever to be attained. ~Murray Newton Rothbard Capitalism is the fullest expression of anarchism, and anarchism is the fullest expression of capitalism. Not only are they compatible, but you can't really have one without the other. True anarchism will be capitalism, and true capitalism will be anarchism ~Murray Newton Rothbard
@@Dave_of_Mordor Anarchists did not try to carry out genocide against the Armenians in Turkey; they did not deliberately starve millions of Ukrainians; they did not create a system of death camps to kill Jews, gypsies, and Slavs in Europe; they did not fire-bomb scores of large German and Japanese cities and drop nuclear bombs on two of them; they did not carry out a 'Great Leap Forward' that killed scores of millions of Chinese; they did not attempt to kill everybody with any appreciable education in Cambodia; they did not launch one aggressive war after another, they did not implement trade sanctions that killed perhaps 500,000 Iraqi children. In debates between anarchists and statists, the burden of proof clearly should rest on those who place their trust in the state. Anarchy's mayhem is wholly conjectural; the state's mayhem is undeniably, factually horrendous. ~Robert Higgs What makes anyone think that government officials are even trying to protect us? A government is not analogous to a hired security guard. Governments do not come into existence as social service organizations or as private firms seeking to please consumers in a competitive market. Instead, they are born in conquest and nourished by plunder. They are, in short, well-armed gangs intent on organized crime. Yes, rulers have sometimes come to recognize the prudence of protecting the herd they are milking and even of improving its 'infrastructure' until the day they decide to slaughter the young bulls, but the idea that government officials seek to promote my interests or yours is little more than propaganda-unless, of course, you happen to belong to the class of privileged tax eaters who give significant support to the government and therefore receive in return a share of the loot. ~Robert Higgs
I was actually reflecting about this today, and I found out that it's because there's no need to be a part of a community anymore. We got institutions for everything. Back then if you were excluded it was pretty bad, nowadays you can just move places easily and people are too tired these days to make any new or lasting friendships.
this doesn't make any sense to me. moving isn't easy. most of us live paycheck to paycheck so we stick to the same place. no one is making friends because people aren't going out enough. also i heard there is a huge drop in social skills as well, so the inability to build rapport is part of the problem.
@@CloverFieldKingdom i feel like i'm arguing with people still living with their parents. you guys still don't know the real world. no wonder you're so delusional.
I'll mention one thing. As a 28 y/o if you don't like partying or that kind of stuff, you're screwed. It seems that's the only way to create community nowadays. Whenever I get invitations to do something, it's always a drinking night in the club or something like that. I regularly go to the gym, to a yoga studio and do group trekking almost every weekend. I've used Tinder and a similar app but for groups eating out. Yes I've managed to socialize with A LOT of people this way, and made somr stable friendships, but they don't even know each other as they individually have their own groups. This way genuine connection seems impossible, and let's not talk about creating a network. Most of those people seems to already have their own life and social circles that won't include me, of course.
Branch out, your ether not looking hard enough or in a group you don’t actually enjoy, example try going for something that cater to your interest and then speak to the people there. You’ll make connections rather easily, it was easy enough for me and my geek friends, we just spend our day shitting on Tropes, talking about books, reading manga, occasionally playing video games, etc. You’ll have to out actual work on it though, like try to get your friends to come to a convention or something after becoming a part of their lives.
No really it’s insane to me how people have such a hard time making friends, I had a total of four friends before then we created a group chat and more people join in every time, one friend brought her bf from high school, and another brought two guys from work. Your a physically fit attractive man, I can’t see a reason for people not to include you other then a lack of shared interest or being a shit person/around shit people. I’m assuming the former.
People look at me strange for attempting conversations lol Very odd times indeed. It's comical how disconnected we are from each other however it's much more disturbing than comical.
You can blame that on serial killers and people with bad intentions. It's a public place, people want to be left alone. Our safety is our priority so we don't have tine to be buddy buddies
I definitely experienced this moving from a rural town to a bigger city. Back when I lived out in the middle of nowhere, it was so easy to strike up a conversation with someone. You could easily walk up and start talking. Now in the city, people give you dirty looks if you try talking to them. It's so weird...
@@aeoligarlic4024 Yeah, right like there are all these serial killers. BS! The facts are simple- people don't know how to socialize and social media on the cellphone is considered more entertaining.
I’ve started doing that lately too. It’s actually quite amusing. I will say something random to random people and they have odd reactions. Personally I find it funny! P.S I had a head injury last week. Apparently mild concussions can impact one’s impulse control! 😂
I think this a lot, everyone I've ever known has eventually just moved away, people move constantly, while normalised today I don't think it's natural or healthy
No concept of friends doesn’t exist it’s just something you have as child to help you develop socially and have fun but you should get rid of them by the time you’re 18 no later than 21 and start focusing on yourself and your education and career
Life has become about survival, not both surviving and thriving. I have no energy to do anything but survive, and when I do have free time I just wish to be alone.
Since I noticed this problem but no one takes this seriously, I am completely lonely. No one has any understanding for me, my opinions and my way of thinking. Seriously, it's really hard to exist in this century despite all these "innovations" - because we forgot about developing ourselves! Most people around me are ignorant, selfish or don't want to hear other people's opinions. In general, I noticed a lack of empathy throughout my life. This led to depression in the last few years and since I go to school, I can't be active to modernise the world (I mean human thinking). I'm also very much into maths and philosophy, the two most underrated disciplines ever!
Sadly, the trend is hard to reverse. I personally have found that one way to foster a sense of community is by pursuing arts and creative work. They provide me a sense of solace and comfort in times of loneliness.
Very true. I’m extremely fortunate to have been skateboarding for 14 years, so I’ve made many friends who I still hang out with and skate with to this day, who i wouldn’t of ever connected with otherwise. Without it, I genuinely don’t know what else I’d do sometimes. My local skatepark is the place I’ve felt the most community at
I’m an art major and I found myself a sense of that community. I’m in tons of online communities, that we support each other’s work and even help each other. Even in my social life, where I made many friends in school because we share the same interest of art.
Which would you prefer: a collective that dictates your entire life and even denies your individuality or being alone? As a trans I would prefer the latter.
Community is only dead if you allow yourself to pull away and don’t engage. Most people on social media aren’t actually SOCIAL. Most people don’t comment on things they see or watch, most people don’t engage with things they see or the people around them.
when you have peers wanting to mask and jab you, any future of 'community' is over. many of you have proven you should never be trusted or talked too, I'm talking to you mask and jab lunatics. the past couple years have shown the true colors of our society. most of you can go to hell.
This is exactly why community is dead though is this individualistic way of thinking when you say “community is only dead if you allow yourself to pull away” you place blame on the individual while neglecting the overall reality that society is very polarized right now and it can be very hard to engage in a meaningful way
@@ligondesenuts769 do you plan on regularly talking to all the random people you "meet" in the comments? What you call a community is a bunch of comments talking at each other, without the goal of actually getting to know each other. this isnt community.
I also think the fact that American suburbs have nothing to do forces us to be online. I’m 17. Every Friday I am happy that school is over, I get home, and then it’s like: “now what?”. it forces me to be on my phone for hours. There is genuinely nothing to do here. My mom and her friends have the same problem. On top of that it’s always very cold and there are no pretty sight. I walk outside and it’s 20 degrees outside and all I have to look at are dead trees and dead leaves.
@@DK-ym8jr a productive hobby wouldn't change what he said. I've got several productive things I do with my life, and I get out regularly, and I still struggle to actually find places to socialize
@@schmity007 You can certainly used hobbies to help create a community though. Creating school clubs, gathering groups of friends to do it with, or honestly just showing off your skills to your neighbors seem like some great ways to utilize that. But first you gotta get them
I always thought that there was a problem with ME, like why can't I keep a group of friends like people on Instagram? I realized growing up Instagram socal media is a lie, and most people don't have a large community of friends. We're all individualistic society. I used to crave a large group of friends, text people ALL the time, invite them places, I used to really try. When I would stop messaging, no one would message me. I quickly realized no one wanted to hangout, make time to go anywhere as a group. It's sad, but it's America and it's how people live here. I had to grow up and get used to it.
I guess its hard to trust a lie.. even if the lie is known Eg: you watch a movie knowing its make believe but it's hard to have make believe freinds I imagine having an actor as a freind being difficult as how can you tell they are acting I can imagine Johnny Depps trial was made hard because of this fact
This isn't happening just in the United States but in the entire western world, even in Latin America, at least in the big cities. My Dad and uncles have preserved their friends from childhood and different stages in their lives...but since my generation (Millennials) people don't preserve their friends of the past, your friends are the two or three you hang out with currently and if you move or change your job, you lost contact with them, I say that currently friendship expires very quickly, it is disposable. But even families are not united anymore, I have cousins I haven't seen in years and I know currently people my age that say the same, they have lost contact with uncles, cousins, the only family they keep in contact with are their parents and brothers/sisters.
@@alphabetpeople2902 I prefer being like this rather than being executed for participating in a political rally, but at the same time I think we can do better than this.
To be fair, i think in Germany we managed to preserve many comunities in our Society. Clubs and organizations are whidely spread and the majority of us are part of a Community.
Yea it’s seeping into Latin America and Asia now I only interact really with my son I barely talk much to my parents and only to one of my siblings I feel soo awkward and different like a stranger when around them I do love and care about them as they do with me but just we are worlds apart
@@denizg.9761 That's great. Which factors do you think play a role in that, I suppose there are in part idiosyncratic and in part the result of some good policies.
Your message is truly so sad. I'm even on a local soccer team but the focus is too much on winning and the playing of the sport and less on building friendships and a community. It's been so hard to find a community that isn't religious.
Then I'll hint ya. ONLY UNDER THE LORD, will we truly be together like old times will we be back and strong again. Hoe would they look like you may ask? I'll be honest, I wouldn't truly know until they've been in my life at least 5 years and as I said before, even I wouldn't truly know. But the Word of the LORD does advise, and ye shall know them by their fruits.
I think you misunderstand the purpose of sports. It's to win and play the game. Building friendships is the purpose of a social club, not a sports team. But there's no reason you can't start your own organization for creating community.
@@tjsogmc The purpose of sports is to win, of course, but seeing it as an only "win or lose" misses the entire point of the sport A well connected sport team will pretty much coordinate better than the individualistic one that only focuses on showing off the best players and using the rest as a fodder, just so that they are there
@@tjsogmc nonsense, for most sports clubs it's a social hub, always has been, unless you're striving to go pro and have a realistic path, and even the teambuilding and socializing is a large part of it. sports are one of the most socially connecting things on earth, or at least it used to be
As an architecture student, we were required to read Jane Jacobs’ book “The Death and Life of Great American Cities,” which details the way that cities are supposed to work to build communities. By living in such individualized units of residence in suburbs, we have almost completely lost the ability to form a local community even if we wanted to. This book is truly eye opening especially from our perspective, since most young people like me and you have never experienced how a strong neighborhood community functions. It is a great read and could be good inspiration for a video!
when you have peers wanting to mask and jab you, any future of 'community' is over. many of you have proven you should never be trusted or talked too, I'm talking to you mask and jab lunatics. the past couple years have shown the true colors of our society. most of you can go to hell.
If you ever get the chance, build a community. Communal gardens, meeting areas, shared ownership of solar or wind energy. These people will be much happier than if every house had everything they needed
@bastiat American Suburbia is one of the most classist, racist, expensive, unfree, environmentally-unfriendly and impractical systems of land use design to exist. A bunch of semi-isolated prisons where the nearest Grocery store is 5 mi away or 10-15 minute drive. Or any things necessary to live in a modern economy. Which exists due to propaganda during the late 1950s by GM, Auto Companies, Real Estate Developers, the Eisenhower administration, and the DOD. Military considerations aside it exists to make certain industries exist in their current capacity today and as wealthy as they are. Rarely anywhere on earth does such car-centric infrastructure exist in any modern/advanced economy. I could go on about how impoverishing it is(by design), but just know Suburbia isn't a natural evolution, it's by design. Keeping the current system set up less than 80 years ago alive and said system's creators rich.
You've been propagandized by a socialist utopian :D. Cities don't work like cities used to work either. I've lived in the same apartment building for 20 years in NYC and barely know any of my neighbors. This is a cultural shift, whether you live in the suburbs with lots of space, or are crammed into 1 building living on top of each other.
Not to bum you out, but that's mostly because we trap them with us. The relationship many have with their pets seems vampiric to me. The owner has the pet as a captive source of "feel good" for them, instead of having the pet more as a companion that is more-or-less a free being in their own right. We take away the animals ability to be what it evolved to be (neutering their sex organs, keeping them in a domicile), kinda doing to it what we've done to ourselves. I know modern living often can't accommodate a "free" pet, but who said we should be engaging in "modern living"? The markets do! We don't serve humanity, we serve markets! Welcome to hell :)
@@ManDuderGuy I think some pets genuinely love their owners. You can say that it's forced and isn't real affection but some pets do care for their owners even if animals weren't they'd still be able to make connections with humans
@@starwoodanime1532 I agree with you, yes of course pets can be happy and affectionate, and it's not like we're hurting them if we take care of them. But I'm still saying that it is bizarre and in a sense "wrong" to neuter them and trap them indoors. We are stealing their lives from them in a way. They don't get to have sex, they don't get to experience motherhood etc. It's a tradeoff for them. I know it's not evil or whatever, just pointing out some facts.
A great example of that is the rampant hostility to unions in the workplace. Managers are tyrants at heart, so naturally, there's nothing they hate more than unions. Take the notion of a unionised workplace to its logical extreme, and you get a worker-owned co-op, which is the workplace equivalent of a democracy.
I found society in the 1980s to be much more mean spirited. People may have interacted more but our culture was stifling. Everyone was expected to follow the exact same life script and anyone who did not were socially ostracised. Most of my friends felt like our parents had us just because that was what was expected instead of because they really wanted us.
Yeah I’ve realised the conversation here is more based on “there was more community back then, we need to get back to that” and totally ignoring how forced and harmful a lot of the social protocols in those communities actually were and how just being part of a collective doesn’t make you instantly happier.
During the 1980s, materialism hit an all time high...family & friends were affording high-end living/material things,& became overly concerned & impressed with material things...the days of family & community were replaced with greed, judgement, envy & competition... family & a sense of community were lost
I'm sure your parents have a totally different opinion of themselves and their reasons for having you. And that they'd be totally insulted. Typical 21st century selfish answer lol
It's harder than ever to have community mostly because people don't know how to accept that we're all human and go through everyday struggles, but that we should be here for one another despite our differences. As someone who views himself as more spiritual than religious, I respect people from all walks of life simply because they're human and have their own struggles and views and I've noticed that the more I just see people as they are the more empathy I begin to have for others, but also looking at my own imperfections before I judge others for theirs because community means a lot to me. Even as someone who deeply values individuality to a high degree, I still want to have people around me where he have each other's backs and care for one another in times of need. Recently, I started picking up trash in my neighborhood and I remember someone asking me "Why do you do this every Saturday?" My response: "Because I care about my neighborhood." A month later, I've seen about 10 others out there with me every Saturday picking up trash and we have a community of people looking out for the cleanliness of our neighborhood. It's a beautiful thing to see.
I crave a good community, but after having experienced betrayal and abandonment from people I thought were friends, I just can't bring myself to rely on or trust others at their word or public actions. Snakes in the grass man, snakes in the grass.
@bastiat woah, you gonna stretch before reaching like that? cause where did I say I was perfect? where did i say I didn't forgive them? where did i call all people bad? at worst, I implied communities always have malicious people in them. at best, it's my anacdotel experience having been in religious, academic, sport, and misc. hobby centered communities that all had snakes in them. now I dunno about you, but if a friend: leaves the lease agreement early without telling me giving me 5 days to find a new home, tries to start a false rumor about one of his friends r@ping his sister because of personal petty drama, brings a gun into my house without telling me and the does a negligent discharge almost shooting my dog, trying to steal my dog, or a friend r@pes someone, I don't really want to be friends with them anymore. (All different friends from differnt communities btw, lord knows i *tried* to trust en mass again 😭) I've made mistakes in my life, yes, but I haven't done shit like that to anybody. lastly it's the way communities tend to be light on these snakes but cruel to the victims that really drives me away in disgust, and it happens all the time especially in churches like Christianity and whatnot. tldr: you can forgive people *and* want to no longer be friends with them after the fact. and while it's individual people that commit the transgression, it's usually the communities' collective reaction to the crime and victim that lead me and many others to give up on any communities all together.
@bastiat 1) the first one never said everybody is snakes 🤣 i literally just said that I don't trust communities because theres always someone who hurt others. Trust me the first comment isn't edited or anything, read it again. 2) the second comment says the same as the first but with my personal anecdotes and my personal opinion on forgiveness. 3) stay safe out there pal 🙏
I was so isolated during the pandemic. It made me so miserable. I felt like I was at my worst. Eventually I got through school and decided to start a sticker business'. I started selling at the farmers market and started working for a nonprofit as well as the forest service. I made so many new connections in my community and I feel way less isolated and much more fulfilled in life. I went to the fall festival today and did free face painting for people. It was awesome to just make so many kids happy as well as some adults. Community is hard to find for a lot of people though. I'm lucky in a way to live in a tightknit rural town.
It's crazy cause I just turned 20 not too long ago and even on the short amount of time I've been alive, I've noticed how much things have changed in the world. People used to seem more friendly back then, cause I'm in college now and it's rare to even make eye contact with people to get a smile while walking too class. I've made it a goal of mine to at least attempt to make eye contact and smile at everyone I walk past and get a smile from at least 2 people a day, just to try to make people feel acknowledged. In middle school I suffered from depression from being lonely, but after getting some therapy I learned a lot and I now make it my goal to try to make sure people don't have to feel that way. Sure technology has put us in a bubble, but making active efforts to really rekindle that sense of community can go a long way
Funny you say that. The USA started going downhill after 911, and to be frank has never recovered from being paranoid 24/7. Yes there was a time when most people were fairly chill and it took alot for adults to explode in public like children. The internet in itself was a mixed bag, but I think the rise of the smartphone after 2010ish didn't help the lack of empathy you see in everybody nowadays.
That stuff was going on that you described when I was in college and that was over 20 years ago. I remember when 9/11 happened my freshman year and that's when everything changed. People were less happy out in publics. You could just feel people's optimism and joy change to sadness and despair.
Try 30, I grew up in the late 90s and throughout the 00s world changed a lot to me in the past decade. If you told my teenage self back in 2007 that the biggest issue to some people in the 2020s would be pronouns and AI would become good enough to threaten the livelihoods of artists I would have called you a schizo. World felt lot more lax back than, friends were insulting and edgy with each other but still friends despite it all, malls were starting to die but lot of people from my school still hanged out at one, social media started appearing but it wasn't as polarizing as it is now. I do feel sorry for Gen Z, it's pretty much a different world now and they have to tip toe around out of fear of being rejected by their peers.
Post-covid I noticed how closed-down everyone seems. I think a lot of it is fear--certainly the news media and the internet seem to want us to all be afraid, angry, and confused. I made exactly the same resolution you did--which was to smile at people and try to make them feel acknowledged. For a while I was watching these "horrible Karen videos", but I decided that they just make you dislike people more, and make you even more alienated. I've noticed that on airplanes no one talks to anyone else anymore. You can be on a long flight and your neighbors act like you are probably a serial killer or some crazed evangelical. This cold, unfriendly behavior is the new normal. Personally, I think it's sick.
People in my country (Pakistan) desire a more individualistic lifestyle because of too much "community". People at your place want vice versa. Nobody likes what they have!
It’s a grim reality. We are all cogs in the Capitalist machine. It is exhausting to run on the materialistic hamster wheel just to state afloat. No wonder people have no time for social interaction.
when you have peers wanting to mask and jab you, any future of 'community' is over. many of you have proven you should never be trusted or talked too, I'm talking to you mask and jab lunatics. the past couple years have shown the true colors of our society. most of you can go to hell.
@@remc0s Fight Club was always about societal change. The director David Fincher commented in an interview in 1999: "We're designed to be hunters and we're in a society of shopping. There's nothing to kill anymore, there's nothing to fight, nothing to overcome, nothing to explore. In that societal emasculation, this everyman is created."
I never really experienced "true community" even when I was young. I was surrounded y horrible people that hurt/ditched me on a constant basis and I was never close with anyone. I'm pretty sure a lot of people share the same fate, they had no choice but to be surrounded by terrible people and that is what was called "community" back then. Personally I'm glad technology makes it unnecessary to deal with most people anymore...
There are some good. But mostly its doing sovial media is also infiltrated and they doing more hatm than good so it all boils down to us. The most important question is what is your next step? I'll see ya out in the field, comrade. Truly, I wish you the best.
This is something I didn’t even consider. For many people, “community” is something that actually did damage, so being able to do things alone is actually a blessing for them. Thanks for making this point.
That was great! I'm glad someone is talking about this! It's literally killing us, hyper individualism. The hippies were on the right track but their "change it from within" attitude was just them selling out to corporate America.
Honestly, as an autistic person I have mixed feelings about participating in communities as i struggle to find the importance of community and sense of belonging. Growing up, i've always been shunned for my autistic traits, so i kinda just got used to being alone and doing my own stuff by myself. I envy my friends who can get into communities easily and genuinely have a great time, but at the same time, socializing as an autistic person is really damn tiring, and not to mention that you have to be aware of the social cues in a certain community, and that us autistic people also have to conform to neurotypical expectations in a community, which is REALLY tiring. Therefore, I'm not big on contributing to communities as it seems like an almost impossible task to do as an autistic person in neurotypical communities. I do have friends (most are neurodivergent too), however, but it's different from having to be in communities you know? Like, conforming to the expectations of 5 (mostly neurodivergent) people is waaaayyy more easier than conforming to 20 neurotypical people.
Yes you describe alot of the feelings others in spectrum would say . And you probably describe them better than alot of others . Public outings tire me out even if not social. Social outings with family or small groups can be like anesthesia … come home and instant crash to sleep . You are not alone …. Even if you feel like you are . I’m prolly more asperger than autistic but I get it .
I worked at the same job for 12 years and attended every social and holiday events. Then I got fired! Two years later, NOT ONE person asked about me, nor asked about my where abouts , or checked in on me. I was totally forgotten. I'm mentioning this because work place is the Worst place to connect with people yet we're forced to spend majority of our lives there to ensure our survival. The reason why we have distrust towards each other is because the bad people have way more impact on our lives then good people. NOW I'm a total introvert with trust issues. This was the 4th time my job lay me off! Our society is trash!
This is absolutely spot on with so many of the problems we are presented with in modern society. What is often frustrating is that so many people seem to not care about actually connecting with one another anymore... while at the same time being more lonely than any prior generation. It's become a much bigger problem since the disease that shall not be named. People have become so accustomed to doing things remote, that the very idea of getting together in person is almost offensive. Many times I find myself just throwing my hands up and thinking, "this is just what society is now." But I can't help having the nagging feeling that this is exactly what many others are doing as well.
when you have peers wanting to mask and jab you, any future of 'community' is over. many of you have proven you should never be trusted or talked too, I'm talking to you mask and jab lunatics. the past couple years have shown the true colors of our society. most of you can go to hell.
@@idle-hands 'Bodily autonomy' is a term used to coerce others into accepting a lie. Abortion has always affected more than just a woman's body (it kills the infant's body). But go get vaccinated because it protects other people, even though the vaccinated are also catching and spreading the disease... It was never about bodily autonomy or protecting others. It was always about controlling society.
But *who* is “more lonely than previous generations”? Just being fair, because how can we claim or measure that? Asking because whenever I hear of this “loneliness pandemic” I question who is it and who does it not apply to? Because I’m not very lonely being by myself. I feel like my super curious mind has so many things has so many things it’s wants to read and research and dig deep about, and my artistic heart (or what’s left of my heart) has so many things it wants to create, and to explore inwardly. I’d rather take my time for that. Most human beings don’t know what to do with loyalty and support, so I no longer give it freely. People just want to talk and dump stuff. And the way I’m built, I no longer care for dialogue because at the end of the day, it does nothing. Actions always trumps talk. And consistent actions trump random actions. That’s mostly what I care about and what solves actual problems. Anything else, please have a monologue in your car or in your journal or prayers (if you pray) FIRST.
It’s taken years of being backstabbed, ditched, and unappreciated to make me lose faith in community. Why do they lie to us as kids, saying if we’re kind to people we’ll make friends? That’s the biggest lie, especially for family and the workplace. Humans are so selfish, and kindness is only something they look down on. Why would anyone want a community in THAT? Edit: to clarify, my issue isn’t that people aren’t nice in return, my issue is the people that actually hurt me in return!
It's a cursed circle, where somepeople long ago got hurt by bad people, learned to act bad to others. Then new people got hurt, started acting bad and so on and everyone plays innocent card "I am good, but world around me is bad, so I act bad". However, the moment you condemn others for sins of others in the past you become bad as well. Being good is the act of selflessness, but everyone expects reciprocation
Im a tradie, 22 years old. Even here its the same, got into it thinking it would be bullshit and banter, nope. Even the old guys just sit on their phones at smoko. Its a lonely life, no one really talks to eachother, i just work to live and fill up as much of my day as possible so i dont reflect on how sad it is.
i'm a 10th grader. it's genuinely been so hard for me to make meaningful connections ever since stuff like tik tok became really popular. i feel like the people that surround me care more about a virtual world than the real world especially after covid. i talk to people at school but i'm not 'accepted' into their group as i dont really use social media. i will literally never see any of them again once i'm out of school. but i've started to get used to it, being alone at least made me realize what i wanted to do with my academic life so now my priorities are set on being accepted to a high ranking college. i just hope i can make friends like i did in my childhood again but i doubt thats possible now
In choosing a college, be sure to visit and see how friendly the atmosphere is. That is a super-important thing. I only applied to colleges that didn't allow fraternities and sororities, and ended up going to Oberlin. it was super-friendly in the Sixties, but is now embarrassingly politically correct and intolerant. It may still be friendly, I'm not sure. Being at a school where it is easy to make friends is incredibly important, especially for people who have just left home. I made the mistake of getting my masters at the University of Chicago--a school with a high reputation but an absolutely hostile emotional atmosphere. I escaped to the University of Wisconsin, which was a lot nicer. College is not just part of a career-path; it is important for one's emotional and social development.
I've found one tip that has helped me be more social and it's wearing pop culture shirts every time I go outside whether it be to the movies, concerts, museums, libraries, gyms etc. Basically any where people interact. I wear shirts of cartoons, anime, concert shirts, movie shirts and what I've noticed is that a couple of times a stranger will start a conversation with me because they enjoy the same things that I wear. Just a tip for people that want something to talk about in public.
Thank you for this video, Cole! My family thinks I’m weird for acknowledging the *reality* that individualism, not community, is how the world works today.
If not for individuality the West would be a fascist hell hole like the third world. Collectivism always leads to tyranny and fascism and even communism. These are synonyms.
The only community that we have is the internet now, that's where everyone is active on now. People are just focused on their screens now rather than opening up to other people. I also agree how difficult it is to socialize based off of how high the cost of living is now. Great video btw!
I'm 37 years old currently. I noticed early on that groups of people can tend to act differently and more "fake" than how they do on an individual level. People that are part of a group may sometimes act differently and do things to fit in that they normally wouldn't do otherwise. And not just kids, most everyone is like this. Before I consciously realized this I was doing it myself. But as I grew up and recognized this I began to strongly disagree with compromising who I am and what I stand for only for the sake of fitting in with a group. Over time I started to be very independent, and this is one of the biggest reasons why, among others. I grew to become like this before the modern internet culture of today. And I'm not this way because I think I'm better than everyone else or something, I definitely have flaws. I just can't stand being around phony people trying to rub their stupid B.S. in my face. I realize it's not always like this, but I've experienced it enough to really irk me and make me just prefer to be alone or with one or two friends at the most.
@@kwasiahenkora6583 Nothing wrong with a few friends...actually nothing wrong with lots of friends if one likes. I just prefer only a few myself. But yes alot of people have no friends at all.
@@RmationYT well go find someone else like you. Either online, ask you're parents if they know someone who has a child "like you" or aks litterally anyone else who you know if they know someone, are you attending any colleges or schools you can probably find someone there.
I'm glad I found a community in my Elk's Lodge. Sure they are all far older than me, but that sense of community is so strong in them. People remember things about me that go around or remember conversation's I have had.
I tried participating in board game nights and dnd campaigns to make friends or at least acquaintances but nobody really wants get to know each other. Sometimes a couple friends will show up but most of the times they will alienate everyone around them. It's pretty difficult when I am starving for connection and end up disappointed thinking that there is something wrong with me.
A well connected community that is full of people who are fully individuated and understand themselves and the roll they play within that community is the ideal IMO. Possible? Na but we can try
The schools hardly allow that for children. At least that's been the impression I'm left with. And when they lose their individuality as kids, I don't know if they would willingly change towards more individualism as they grow up.
Unfortunately it isn’t because it isn’t the norm. The masses follow what the masses endorses, and the masses endorses me me me. My money, my pleasure, my peace and my progress. A few individuals that are awake will find more suffering because of being awake, but the counter to that is to cultivate a good life while being awake. Try to make an effort to find like minded people, or at the bare minimum, just use this knowledge to cultivate positive interactions outside until you eventually find a friend or social connection. In the mean while, life your life as well as you can live it. Don’t judge people, be kind, plan a good use of your time with positive and joyful activities outside of necessities such as work and household and ultimately cultivate peace inside of yourself. We have much to be grateful for as we are living in the most comfortable and easiest of times, so I think baring patience on people being too addicted to technology as a trade off is acceptable. Live well by using time well, choosing good thoughts and finding peace. If good friends and like minded people happen to bump into you, don’t hesitate, open yourself to them. If they don’t, remain content that you are trying to live your life well and are actively trying to cultivate kindness and inner peace for your soul. No point over complicating our reality.
As a trans, that's the only community I would sign up for. The community that doesn't accept my individuality and wants me to confirm to their social rules? No thanks, that price is way too high and I'm not willing to pay it. I'll prefer to be alone.
when you have peers wanting to mask and jab you, any future of 'community' is over. many of you have proven you should never be trusted or talked too, I'm talking to you mask and jab lunatics. the past couple years have shown the true colors of our society. most of you can go to hell.
We all need to consensually separate into our own groups. So everyone can follow their own individual desures, but still be in a community of like minded people.
It also helps that people are so quick to judge and reject others (esp men, women too to a lesser extent), making anybody who dont feel accepted need to find themself outside of a community. When these people do have influence, they’d promote individualism bc of their experience.
Church has always been my best incentive to create social connections. It indeed can be a challenge to socialize within the own church environment, but that's something you learn how to deal with as in any human interaction.
Agreed I think assembly is one of the few most pure/valuable thing things Christ gave us that we have left. We don’t always appreciate how great of a resource it is even though it’s much more than that especially if you’re person of faith and you understand it’s function here on earth. And when I say church/assembly I mean it in the most pure way that Bible describes, not these many man made institutions of mainstream Christianity that ppl associate as church, though even those ones are better than nothing and I think are under-appreciated as well.
As a social worker part of my role is to essentially re introduce clients back into a social network and community. The simple act of playing a board game or RPG game in a co operative setting on a regular basis makes a huge impact in people’s lives. People have no reason to take part in any activity (its easy to no bother) at all. People work long hours sometimes working weekends. Live in apartments close to work as they can’t really afford to use a car or bike 🏍️ all the time, rising costs of living where it is cheaper to buy food the do shopping, relationships generally come from either Uni or the workplace as they don’t have time outside. Attending a gym is done at 24/7 area because they are time poor and have to fit thing in where they can. People generally don’t want relationships where they are tagged, or in a situation where they may not win, instead preferring to have options and cover the doorways, as being a partner or attached to one person (venerable and not great odd of success) preferably they have 2-3 very close relations across the board and while they care about them, they still live alone and consider themselves single and constantly outweigh the benefits and losses at every given turn.
It’s 100% due to the internet and long-decreasing standards of living in our country. In the US, more and more people have been needing to take up second and third jobs just to make basic ends meet. This is terrible for peoples’ health and puts their brain on survival mode all the time which makes for worse social interactions
Lots of people grew up with trauma bonds that have skewed the perception of community into something dark and vile. Believe me, when you get mobbed by a bunch of people multiple times, you don't ever look at community the same way again. You just see the dark shadow hiding in plain sight. After all, some of man's greatest atrocities came from the collective. The individual that rejected these tenants alleviates themselves of partaking in such evil.
when you have peers wanting to mask and jab you, any future of 'community' is over. many of you have proven you should never be trusted or talked too, I'm talking to you mask and jab lunatics. the past couple years have shown the true colors of our society. most of you can go to hell.
I started complaining about 10 to 15 years ago. Tried to tell everyone that our phones shouldn't be out when we chill and I was ostracized. They are all still friends. So i feel like people fought for this reality and many people went along with it. But great video!💯
It has huge impacts on how we view ourselves and others. We rely a lot on individualistic, “free-will” theories to make it through life (ranging from financial stability to crime to education to health outcomes) instead of tried and true community functions to clear out alot of these “individual problems” (which are often either created by a disconnected hyper-tech capitalist society or simply inherent problems to human society that *may* always exist). We blame and shame ourselves and others for their failures instead of looking to structural issues that create these environments for failure
The opposite of individualism is collectivism, which isn't the same thing as community. It's an ideological perspective. Do you consider yourself valuable and sovereign? Then you're probably an individual. You can still have community and promote individualism. Tribalism, ironically enough, is the root of our problem. You would think something like that would promote community but all that does is make communities smaller by making people ostracize and cut out those they view as degenerates.
What the west has is hyper individualism. And hyper individualism destroys the whole concept of community. We are reaping what we have sown due to hyper individualism: - Increase in addiction amongst citizens - Increase in Anxiety and Depression - Loneliness Epidemic that has been proven to be far greater amongst hyper individualistic societies (no shocker there) - Decline of marriage - Birthrate decline
I've been a part of some online community of people for like 5 years in which I've made all of my online friends on (first we were on amino then moved to discord because amino was a dying platform and also discord made more sense to use). They're by far the most amazing people I've ever met, I owe a lot to them and I can't even imagine my time on the internet without them, I'm so grateful they're there and they help me whenever I'm going through some tough times and I return the favor ofc. (my humor also comes from this community). P.S.; I met them through our common interest of making maps and games, my advice if you want to find a tight-knit community like the one I'm a part of, I suggest joining some community online that you're interested in and doesn't have tons of members but also doesn't have too little (like a discord server or subreddit for example).
Same! I met some rlly awesome ppl online and have known them for abt 6 years now and I've been able to build a community on discord for my projects n stuff,, its really helpful for me bc i cant always afford to go out and travel and i can only walk around in the front yard which is not rlly that satisfying..
But do you meet in real life? I'm glad you found your tribe and that online works for you. I'd love to find a community but at some point if it's online I would like to meet in real life.
@@amandam480 funny you ask that, this summer i'll be meeting up with them. there has also been several meetups between the other members before as well.
Social anxiety due to bullying at school and as a consequence, lack of social connections. And people need to survive these days, so even friends will put themselves first. But then, due to my diagnosis, many people call me unsocial...
Honestly, I didn't really think about the decline in community. I have noticed the decline in family support (people care for their parents or having children). Know people have different situations but money seems to be the biggest problem.
There are still, at least, pockets of community here in the U.S. As someone who lives in a rural, Southern town, I can tell you that there are still plenty of clubs, organizations, and "hang out spots" where you can get to know people and "find your circle." Sure, if you're used to socializing on the internet, you may be accustomed to finding people who more closely match your interests, views, beliefs, etc. (the whole "echo chamber" phenomenon), but working through the differences you have with the more limited circle you have nearby can lead to some awesome friendships and opportunities for personal growth.
It's not just virtualization. Everyone seems angrier, pettier, crazier now. Even when you find friends it's like people are incapable of not bringing drama and meanness into it. I dunno maybe it's just me but this is how it feels nowadays.
I feel this. I was so aware of this that I want to make a meet up group for introverts. I'm a maker who gets lonely and bored at home and my stockists tells me the same thing, she's like "everytime someone brings in stock, they are telling me how lonely they are, maybe we should create a social group" We need more community social groups
I noticed how much fun in our neighborhood we had here in California when we had that massive blackout in 2011. Talking to neighbors we never spoke to, sharing food, ice, bbqing outside, and a collective celebration when the lights turned back on. It was miserably hot without AC which is why we were outside at night.
I've had more bad experiences in communities and with people in general than I have ever had with being alone. I always used to enjoy being along and have been living in complete solitude now for a few years and I've never been happier with my life. I’ve grown as a person since I’ve been alone, I now have a company, a house, two dogs, a cat and chicken living in my big garden, and I’m just 24. Back then, being with people held me back, I was depressed and unmotivated, and I don't mean that the people in my life were solely to blame for that, but they did however played a huge part in it, being alone gave me time to reflect. I also do daydream and get much of my socialization from friends in my mind, that may sounds funny but they were my mentors on my journey, they helped me to become who I am today, I laugh with them and play out scenarios in my head, this makes me more happy than I’ve ever been with any person in real life. I do however have few casual conversations with people throughout the day and having them is important, communication skills are important and as long as I live among people, I have to know how to communicate with them.
Ive literally been having these reoccurring thoughts. About how our sense of community has been lost & yet we feel that we’ve somehow gained something. Wasn’t sure what my thoughts were trying to convey but I think I can see it clearer now
I just discovered Cole a few weeks ago. I also randomly came across a recent interview of his and Cole said he spent years and years making and posting videos without much success....but he believed in himself. And now he's nearly 500k. Thanks for this great content. I'm about ten years older than you but still catching up to you in wisdom.
I eat out constantly, I frequent the same places everyday, it’s interesting to see the way people think of and treat others in today’s society, it’s a toxic cesspool of selfishness and ignorance
I love how your solution to individualism was an entirely based upon the individual. We each must make the change and do little things to solve this problem. We need to work from the bottom up.
Yes! As a student studying architecture, I’m so glad that this is now become a more regular topic. There needs to be a more concentrated effort to change American zoning laws for the better.
Not sure where I heard this, but - before the advent of TV in England, on the weekends whole families would join other families, hundreds of people at public parks, have lunch, children would play, parents would chat etc. As soon as TV came along and was cheap enough to be adopted by most families, the weekend park families just stopped showing up and any sense of 'community' was lost.
@@watching7721 I lived through, as an adult, pre-internet to internet, which was something similar. Then, lived through the rise of internet connected mobile phones. It went from getting online with a PC being a filter -both in terms of money and intelligence to one-click phone internet. Everything went downhill fast after that when 50 percent of the population with only double digit IQ's started bringing the cyber world down to swamp tier levels of stupidity and anti-intellectualism.
I think it really depends on individual preference. I have a vibrant portfolio of interests and greatly enjoy going out and experiencing life. Don't spend all that much time on my phone, social media, etc. However, as you describe "genuinely smiling at another human being" or "meeting face to face" sounds like an absolute nightmare scenario to me.
Ngl, I love my cars, and I enjoy my time driving. I spend about an hour total in commute round trip and for the most part it's a straightforward, low traffic route. I guess I'm just lucky beyond everyone's wildest dreams, because holy shit that is a lot of commuting time. I'd hate to concede that maybe, just maybe, reducing our reliance on 50s era city planning would actually be a good idea, but it's honestly out of control at this point. I still remember hearing about people commuting either by public transport or car for over 3 hours ONE WAY a while back, and that has always stuck with me.
Thank you Cole you're a hero for making this video. This is perhaps the most important video you've ever made. I've distanced myself from the self-improvement space quite a bit because I felt like it was killing my sense of self, but clicked as soon as I saw this. It seems that many self-improvement UA-camrs also sometimes drive this polarisation into extreme belief systems. Grateful to real ones like you who post genuine content and find a rational compromise between seemingly opposing viewpoints
As a college student studying architecture, the suburban sprawl segment really resonates with me because I’ve always felt that there was something wrong with the way American cities are designed. Being able to go out and easily meet and hang out with people close by - within walking distance is very important for our mental health. This also makes building communities and physical spaces for communities much easier and natural
@@alicelong3613 That’s fine, as long as states don’t keep wasting the money that gets funneled from inner cities to the suburbs that always end up becoming financially insolvent within a few decades. Suburbs are fine, just not the way we build them in America… American style, suburbs are ridiculously expensive to maintain because of honestly idiotic zoning laws and minimum set back/parking requirements, which means that longer roads are needed, which means more piping and electrical poles with enough cables to reach every single family, energy bleeding, home in a “single family unit only” neighborhood. Everything is designed around cars, and pedestrians and public transit are an afterthought. Even if the population is clearly growing. Not everywhere can be “rural” or “spacious” just because you want it to be.
My question is: Is individualism a bad thing? As an Asian, most countries in Asia practice collectivism, which creates high pressure within society. For example, in school, students are taught to conform and are afraid to question teachers or express their own opinions. Similarly, in the workplace, people are afraid to question their bosses, tolerate exploitation, and work overtime because the collective is given priority over individual rights. In extreme cases, people may even die from overwork. We can think of individualism as a free bird that flies in the sky, able to go anywhere but sometimes feeling lonely. In contrast, collectivism can be compared to a worker ant that is part of a colony and receives support, but will never be recognized and must work until its demise..
Yeah, it's like both individualism and collectivism have the potential to be healthy and good things, but we mostly only have the negative, ugly versions in our world. Individualism in society has potential in the sense that hypothetically people are allowed to be who they really are and to truly flourish. Most don't. Instead that individualism is twisted to be the kind where people are completely isolated and separated from each other and community, screen addicted, narcissistic, with no support network of people who actually love them. And collectivism, that could be a beautiful thing where people actually work together towards a brighter future and are there to support one another. But it is actually all about conforming to a system and culture where no one gives a fuck about each other, a grey, monochrome life where everyone is out for themselves and the only real interest people have is in making money (in China at least). Humanity has great potential but we seem to love squandering it.
In class the other week I had to write a reflection of the community aspect of Halloween and it made me realize how I’ve lost that sense of community so much in every aspect of my life.
It's too risky nowadays to have any kind of relationships. One perceived wrong word or action that somebody doesn't like can ruin your entire life. It's far safer to stay out of everybody's way and don't interact unless absolutely necessary.
@@FuckEntropy that's one thing we can agree on. I found that happiness is achieved by being unapologetically yourself and not trying to please other people. If they can accept you for who you are, great, if not, then also great. Either way, be yourself. As for me, I'm done with relationships. I'm fine on my own and don't feel the need to risk my finances and health on relationships outside of professional job related interactions.
I grew up in the late 90s and throughout the 00s, different zeitgeist back than and it wasn't relatively to long ago, all my friends were edgy and cancel culture wasn't really a thing beyond the likes of Jack Thompson trying to ban video games, and zealous soccer moms thinking Pokemon is Satanic, but the difference was no one took them seriously but people today take SJWs seriously unfortunately. Lot more lax back than, we'd insult each other but still be friends.. I feel now this radical ideology taking hold of Gen Z (even lot of older people) limits them, and they are afraid to let loose with fear of being rejected by their tribe.
I grew up in Texas. Heavy on the religion, and anything that wasn't liked by the elders was evil. So things like Poke'mon, video games, or in some cases just technology were restricted or forbidden throughout sections of my life. As an adult I now have the freedom to dedicate my weekends to my Steam Library if I want to. And I often do. I will forgo social interactions to ensure I can have what I could not as a child due to the nature of where I lived. I feel this could be part of the missing 15%. As we grow up we all do what we want, driven by the collective voice of our nation telling us that we are free and have every right to do so. Not realizing that this pursuit of selfish desires has a far larger impact than we realize.
To answer the final question, I think we’re too far into this to turn back now. Social media isn’t going anywhere; smartphones aren’t going anywhere; self checkout ain’t going anywhere. The only solution I see is trying to find some ways to balance the reality of the world we’re in with developing some type of community.
This is a good point. I am a big believer in facing reality as it is and trying to make the best of it. We can't turn back the technological innovations, so I try to avoid the pitfalls and just utilize technology for the positives (accessibility to information and areas of my interest). We can forever identify what is wrong- and that has some use, but I'm 59 and people were doing this in the 1970s and 80s. There were just different challenges. I began to take notice over the years- those that were happiest and most contented were those who spent far less time decrying what was wrong or should be better, and instead asked "reality being what it is, what is the most positive thing I can do?" I have tried (albeit not always perfectly) to take the same approach. I like your idea: take the world as it is and seek to build positive community elements from where we are.
Individualism is so strong now that it can be dangerous to seek community and be social. I think the way our society is structured has lead to a lot more narcissistic behavior. People focus on themselves so much that they stop caring how they effect other people lives.
Urban sprawl is a giant reason. I live in the suburbs and theres no town center or even mall anymore to hang out and meet new people. I walk around my neighborhood but its just shitty sidewalks with houses spaced out on 1 acre lots. We need to reduce this dependency on cars which causes giants roads and so many damn parking lots. Parking lots are just ugly boring space that could be used so much more effectively. We need to build more affordable high density housing and better public transportation. Public transportation is only used by the poor in America so of course its dangerous and neglected.
I worry that if I become friends with people that we will both eventually part ways because of life. Like if I got a job or they are going to school somewhere or move to a different state or country. We had all of these great interactions and now we won't see each other again or for a long time. This makes me feel sad. It feels like all of that time together was almost wasted. I am afraid of making new relationships which may not last forever. This video is totally right about the trust thing. If you put effort into a relationship and they don't meet your expectations or aren't like they might've appeared on social media, would make you want to avoid them. We have a tendency towards negativity. Hell, most of my comment is negative lol. I think I need to learn how to build trust in people again. With that trust it might make moving on not as hard anymore or as sad because you know you will make new good friends. Most of the people that left in my life were childhood friends which is probably why it hurt so bad. We all deserve a good and happy life. It's a really difficult and confusing time right now, but I believe we can make the change for a better future. Thank you for the video. As negative as I can be this has helped me see the positive now and the positive future we can have.
Even if we've been kicked out of *Eden* , we have to survive. We have to believe, the future is what we make of it. Though life's difficult, only what you make it to be.
As an extreme introvert I used to think the way the world is now is actually better but for a few years now I've begun to realize this isn't healthy or good and something needs to change. Great video. Lots of good points here.
I've only worked around 2 unions. One was concerned about bumping out other union members to get the cushy jobs. The other was way too concerned about the offerings in the vending machines. Neither was concerned with community or the person in general. No organization involving humans can ever be good on its own.
@The_king567 any system involving humans will invariably see someone use that system to further their own goals. The only way to counter it, is to shine a truthful light on it. If you refuse to believe that's up to you
What’s even more crazy is how people notice this is a problem and do nothing the proactively solve the problem. I’m seeing in lots of social media groups where people are posting that they are looking for friends. I’m curious as to why so many individuals feel the need to make friend requests announcements when there are already 100’s of people in the group posting that they are looking for friends as well. You would think ppl would connect with people who have already posted rather than everyone feeling like they need their own post.
a very motivating and hopeful ending video, thank you cole, you've actually given me the idea of creating a community in my village with 2 of my friend =)
Dude, this is exactly what I've been thinking. Thank you for this video. Community is exactly what I've been considering as the key to achieve maximum fulfillment from my jelqing habit.
I grew up in a quite conservative protestant rural church community. I always felt quite neutral and connected while I was in it, because I didn’t yet realise people didn’t really want me to be there. When I turned 19 I moved away to Uni and spent the first year in Uni very lonely and unable to connect to my peers. I started to miss my small church community and started indulging in nostalgic feelings. But slowly it crept up on me how harmful a lot of that social connection was and how painful it is playing back those interactions and realise how often people really did make fun of me or were mean/passive aggressive to me, how fucked up some of those views were that they echoed back and forth and how bad and mean most of those people back in my small home town actually were, and I was one of them. No one GENUINELY liked each other. It was just a sense of forced belonging because there was nowhere else to go. And no, none of those people ever reached out to me by themselves again after I left. The realization that it was all a facade to prop up this sense of “Christian community” by gritting our teeth together and acting as if the people we dislike are our bestest friends was so much more painful than loneliness could’ve ever been for me. So as lonely as my individualistic Uni life is, I prefer it to being blind in a possibly hateful echo chamber just to not be alone. That’s why I actually shy away from joining any clubs or extracurricular groups, once you realise how much can go wrong when joining a collective you get more cautious of doing it. So yeah, call me bitter, but after I got burned so bad I’m staying in my little shell, living with myself. I think a lot of people feel the same and trying to force a community where there is none makes this worse.
I'd say one important thing is that teens specifically are afraid to mess up. Everything is on social media so everyone is aware of their surroundings and always afraid to mess up so most teens just simply decide not to do anything at all.
I live in a Third World Country in the Caribbean. Back in the previous generations(im Gen z btw), such as parents in the boomer, baby boomer, Gen X, Millenial generation, Corporal Punishments was a thing such as spankings, hitting , verbal assertiveness etc as a form of discipline for misbehaviour, the mindset was "It takes a community to raise a child", meaning anyone who spots a child doing wrong things, going down a wrong path or causing injustice to the community, most people within that specific community would have authority to discipline someone's child just as they would discipline theirs. Nowadays even if you shout at a child for wrong doing or even correcting them verbally, their parents are gonna come back and start to cuss and stating that you're the wrong one in this situation. Now because of this it's become one of the reasons why the murder rate skyrocketed. I just hope one day we can all live to aim in peace and understanding once again.
Cole, thanks for the upload of this video, for me I am 65 earth years of age, I had all the community life when I was younger, I enjoy the isolation finally plus I was born into a family with 7 brothers I made 5th sisters, so I always had this community life from the day I was born. It all depends how people perceive their life around them and within them. One might could type I experienced it all. Now I am retired I get to be by myself enjoy my life and notice the world around me more. Have a great life journey.
Let me know what you guys think about this in the comments.
Check out Conversational Intelligence and get an additional 20% discount on the annual subscription at shortform.com/cole
@Cole Hastings first of all I really enjoyed the video and even as a woman I love watching your stuff I know it’s based around men but it’s still very beneficial for us women too. Second though you did forget to put the playlist at the end of the video.
According to a nun, said to me: "Talking to people on zoom Live without revealing their face on Camera, automatically you are killing the social interaction."
And I didn't know that.
Cole in this video you don’t address those who were rejected by society. Those who tried to join communities but were rejected.
The problem I have with these videos is that you're pointing out the obvious, I mean really we're all very aware of the realities of the modern world, so I dont understand the point of this video?
So you promote ShortForm but couldnt be bothered to read the ShortForm of the revised version of Bowling Alone? A bit odd.
Gen Z here and I hate this virtual world we've become dependent on. Everything is fake and it's so bad for our mental health. Let's all take the steps to rebuild our communities and actually have face to face interactions with people.
In my opinion, this virtual world is the most real people have ever been in history
"Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth."
Oscar Wilde
@@watching7721 double edged sword. It’s also anonymous. No creditability and trolls having no accountability for what they say. Pros and cons to everything.
@@trippplecup1563 Of course people's real self is not necessarily them at their most moral
It ain’t coming back unless the world engages is massive war and is bombed back to Stone Age o preindustrial era which is bad for humanity
exactly it's all an illusion we live in , it's consumerist
I'm 41. Growing up house parties where a big part of making friends and finding partners. I could never afford a house to create my own social events. No one young now can afford a house to create social events. I didn't choose the internet and social isolation. I suspect a lot of so called internet addicted people are just working with what they have.
It's true. Most of us are too exhausted to consider getting a drink after work fun anymore. I've made friends, but no one has time to do anything except send memes and text about the rising cost to exist. I'm ready for an apocalypse. I hate this.
@@lindsayb7811 We are all forsaken
@R S123 and now you got people calling the cops every time a house party is thrown because people don’t know their neighbors
@@lindsayb7811 same. At this point meeting a couple nights a week with friends at my hobby shop to play Yu-Gi-Oh is really the only thing I do outside of work. I am thankful for that though with how technology dependant everything is today
Don't worry. The Baby Boomers had a GREAT life. Got to whore around in the 60s, buy $25K houses now worth $1M in the 70s, got good jobs in the 80s, cashed in on the 90s, had a real estate boom in the 2000s, welcomed freaky woke culture in the 2010s (because they just want to live out their lives) and shut the world down in 2020 (because God Forbid they ever die).
I think there is more to this lack of a sense of community than what you've said here. There was already a lack of community in the U.S. in the 80s and 90s. I remember asking my parents about this. They felt that TV as a source of entertainment was a huge one, since before people spent time talking to each other more as entertainment. Neighbors used to know one another. I asked them why that was. Oddly - they said the fact that everyone has air conditioning now and keeps their windows closed was another reason. Before people kept their windows open because they didn't have air conditioning. Before, women were not in the workforce the way they are now. They were home more. This led to women hanging out over each other's houses and talking to each other more. People also had more kids. Now, a lot of people have no kids, or they have maybe 1 kid, maximum 2 kids. Before people had 4 and 5 kids. The kids had friends, and the parents met their kids' friends' parents and made friends that way. Church was a major source of community that most people don't participate in now. Families used to sit down and have dinner together. We weren't allowed to watch TV during dinner. Who does that now? There started to be less trust between people when bad news started to be broadcast on TV more. In the 70s, you heard more and more about people who went missing when they went hitchhiking, or about people kidnapping children, etc. People began locking their doors more and began letting their children play outside with the neighborhood kids less out of fear. If someone rings your doorbell, who even answers the door now? If someone calls on the phone and you don't know who it is, do you pick up the phone? Before we didn't have caller ID, so you always picked up the phone because otherwise you might miss a call from someone you wanted to talk to. What about the fact that everyone is working now? No one is home during the day, so people just don't have time for socializing anymore? People are tired. It's sad, but true.
when you have peers wanting to mask and jab you, any future of 'community' is over. many of you have proven you should never be trusted or talked too, I'm talking to you mask and jab lunatics. the past couple years have shown the true colors of our society. most of you can go to hell.
Comedian Sebastian Manicalco does a funny skit about this. Home and social life when he was a kid vs now.
Nothing wrong with being alone( not lonely) and if being alone makes you lonely, that's a you problem not a society problem. I been alone for 25 years, had no friends or a boyfriend ,and have no problem with it. Only problem I have is ppl trying to make me a problem for not socializing or befriending them when I don't want to. Then when I say I don't want to hang with em they get pissy and start nit picking. Something be wrong with ppl who can't be content with being alone or need a ton of friends. Most ppl are miserable cause they trying to live for society illusions (a.k.a status) that's why all these relationships( dating, marriage, friendships etc) be looking piss, poor, and miserable cause they are transactional not genuine. Gotta train your mind to be content with or without something. We are born in a doom to collapse universe and we have to live with bad things affecting our life. Happiness and sadness are fleeting emotions. That's why being in a any relationships want make you feel fulfilled cuz if it did folks who have friends, kids, spouse etc want be on social media complaining about being unfulfilled even with having a life handed to them easily( rich ppl is an example).
Anyways being alone has benefits then being in any relationship. Imagine feeling discontent for being single or friendless and when you finally get what you desire it wasn't what the dream was like. Now youre divorce or lost friends and you're stuck with bitter, spiteful, and revengeful ppl who makes your life worst. you wasted most of your life being discontent when you could of been satisfied with being alone first ,have more happy days, and worry less when bad things do happen no matter the situation as you can handle it alone.
Just be content, carefree, and silence your thoughts.
Broken families, broken homes
It's called slavery
I think hustle culture could also be a part of the equation. If you're focusing on making money and think that social activities are a distraction or just something to improve your social status, then you're not gonna help build real communities.
absolutely agree. There's a toxicity implied in hustle culture that reflects exactly on how you build communities.
Yes, I explained this in the video. When hustle culture goes too extreme, it produces actions like that
And you start to feel like you're behind on other people because you're not hustling, but instead trying to enjoy life a little
I'm going to make a bizarre analogy here, but I remember playing Runescape back in the the late 2000's. The game was grindy as hell back then, and it was full of noobs who didn't know what they were doing, just like me. I remember logging in to do painfully slow grinding at about the same time every day on the same server, and I would inevitably run into other people who just happened to do the same activity as me in the same spot every day. With nothing better to do we often ended up chatting about random stuff to make the grind more tolerable, and I ended up making friends with quite a few of them. Eventually I got bored with the grind and stopped laying.
I tried playing Old School Runescape a few years ago. The game felt way less grindy than it did back in the day. This time I knew what I was doing and the game had plenty of quality of life improvements, so I quickly surpasses the level of my original account. However, it just wasn't the same. The game has always been overrun by bots, and that hadn't changed. But now it was also overrun by players who behaved just like bots, just like me. Players so concerned with optimizing efficiency that there was no room for casual conversation. Everyone hopped servers constantly as well, (there are many strategies that rely on it,) so I can't remember a single instance of meeting the same player multiple days in a row. At one point I realized that I was having more fun trying to put together my own little bot in python to automate the grind, rather than by actually playing the game. Once I was happy with my bot I abandoned the game entirely.
True. I feel obligated to work more because money is tight.
"We can never get a re-creation of community and heal our society without giving our citizens a sense of belonging." ~ Patch Adams
but people create society, so in the end it's the people responsibility. i hope you're not blaming the government for this
@@Dave_of_Mordor It's a government problem. Read here.
Why the transfer of... decisions from the
individuals and organizations directly involved often depicted collectively and impersonally as "the market" - to third parties who pay no price for being wrong should be expected to produce better results for society at large is a question seldom asked, much less answered. ~Thomas Sowell
It is hard to imagine a more stupid or more dangerous way of making decisions than by putting those decisions in the hands of people who pay no price for being wrong. ~Thomas Sowell
The next time you see a bum leaving drug needles in a park where children play or urinating in the street, you are seeing your tax dollars at work and the end result of the vision of the anointed.
~Thomas Sowell
The 'private sector' of the economy is, in fact, the voluntary sector; and the 'public sector' is, in fact, the coercive sector. ~Henry Hazlitt
It is no crime to be ignorant of economics, which is, after all, a specialized discipline and one that most people consider to be a 'dismal science.' But it is totally irresponsible to have a loud and vociferous opinion on economic subjects while remaining in this state of ignorance.
~Murray Newton Rothbard
@@Dave_of_Mordor
It is curious that people tend to regard government as a quasi-divine, selfless, Santa Claus organization. Government was constructed neither for ability nor for the exercise of loving care; government was built for the use of force and for necessarily demagogic appeals for votes. If individuals do not know their own interests in many cases, they are free to turn to private experts for guidance. It is absurd to say that they will be served better by a coercive, demagogic apparatus.
~Murray Newton Rothbard
Briefly, the State is that organization in society which attempts to maintain a monopoly of the use of force and violence in a given territorial area; in particular, it is the only organization in society that obtains its revenue not by voluntary contribution or payment for services rendered but by coercion.
~Murray Newton Rothbard
@@Dave_of_Mordor
In this century, the human race faces, once again, the virulent reign of the State-of the State now armed with the fruits of man's creative powers, confiscated and perverted to its own aims. The last few centuries were times when men tried to place constitutional and other limits on the State, only to find that such limits, as with all other attempts, have failed. Of all the numerous forms that governments have taken over the centuries, of all the concepts and institutions that have been tried, none has succeeded in keeping the State in check. The problem of the State is evidently as far from solution as ever. Perhaps new paths of inquiry must be explored, if the successful, final solution of the State question is ever to be attained.
~Murray Newton Rothbard
Capitalism is the fullest expression of anarchism, and anarchism is the fullest expression of capitalism. Not only are they compatible, but you can't really have one without the other. True anarchism will be capitalism, and true capitalism will be anarchism
~Murray Newton Rothbard
@@Dave_of_Mordor
Anarchists did not try to carry out genocide against the Armenians in Turkey; they did not deliberately starve millions of Ukrainians; they did not create a system of death camps to kill Jews, gypsies, and Slavs in Europe; they did not fire-bomb scores of large German and Japanese cities and drop nuclear bombs on two of them; they did not carry out a 'Great Leap Forward' that killed scores of millions of Chinese; they did not attempt to kill everybody with any appreciable education in Cambodia; they did not launch one aggressive war after another, they did not implement trade sanctions that killed perhaps 500,000 Iraqi children.
In debates between anarchists and statists, the burden of proof clearly should rest on those who place their trust in the state. Anarchy's mayhem is wholly conjectural; the state's mayhem is undeniably, factually horrendous.
~Robert Higgs
What makes anyone think that government officials are even trying to protect us? A government is not analogous to a hired security guard. Governments do not come into existence as social service organizations or as private firms seeking to please consumers in a competitive market. Instead, they are born in conquest and nourished by plunder. They are, in short, well-armed gangs intent on organized crime. Yes, rulers have sometimes come to recognize the prudence of protecting the herd they are milking and even of improving its 'infrastructure' until the day they decide to slaughter the young bulls, but the idea that government officials seek to promote my interests or yours is little more than propaganda-unless, of course, you happen to belong to the class of privileged tax eaters who give significant support to the government and therefore receive in return a share of the loot.
~Robert Higgs
I was actually reflecting about this today, and I found out that it's because there's no need to be a part of a community anymore. We got institutions for everything. Back then if you were excluded it was pretty bad, nowadays you can just move places easily and people are too tired these days to make any new or lasting friendships.
this doesn't make any sense to me. moving isn't easy. most of us live paycheck to paycheck so we stick to the same place. no one is making friends because people aren't going out enough. also i heard there is a huge drop in social skills as well, so the inability to build rapport is part of the problem.
@@Dave_of_Mordor You can live paycheck to paycheck anywhere. Staying the same place really isnt an excuse.
@@franktheballer23 are you living on your own right now and how much are you making annually?
@@Dave_of_Mordor oh well for that you have to work smart.
It's never late for example the KFC ceo
@@CloverFieldKingdom i feel like i'm arguing with people still living with their parents. you guys still don't know the real world. no wonder you're so delusional.
I miss the internet when it was just a tool for communication, not a distorted extension of our reality. It creeps me out.
I'll mention one thing. As a 28 y/o if you don't like partying or that kind of stuff, you're screwed. It seems that's the only way to create community nowadays. Whenever I get invitations to do something, it's always a drinking night in the club or something like that. I regularly go to the gym, to a yoga studio and do group trekking almost every weekend. I've used Tinder and a similar app but for groups eating out. Yes I've managed to socialize with A LOT of people this way, and made somr stable friendships, but they don't even know each other as they individually have their own groups. This way genuine connection seems impossible, and let's not talk about creating a network. Most of those people seems to already have their own life and social circles that won't include me, of course.
Loser lmao, no wonder u have no friends dude, do some drugs and get some bishes
Branch out, your ether not looking hard enough or in a group you don’t actually enjoy, example try going for something that cater to your interest and then speak to the people there. You’ll make connections rather easily, it was easy enough for me and my geek friends, we just spend our day shitting on Tropes, talking about books, reading manga, occasionally playing video games, etc. You’ll have to out actual work on it though, like try to get your friends to come to a convention or something after becoming a part of their lives.
No really it’s insane to me how people have such a hard time making friends, I had a total of four friends before then we created a group chat and more people join in every time, one friend brought her bf from high school, and another brought two guys from work. Your a physically fit attractive man, I can’t see a reason for people not to include you other then a lack of shared interest or being a shit person/around shit people. I’m assuming the former.
Nah there's heaps of groups and clubs around me. Some are even free. Surely there's some near you.
You're making friends in your late 20's
People look at me strange for attempting conversations lol Very odd times indeed. It's comical how disconnected we are from each other however it's much more disturbing than comical.
same
You can blame that on serial killers and people with bad intentions. It's a public place, people want to be left alone. Our safety is our priority so we don't have tine to be buddy buddies
I definitely experienced this moving from a rural town to a bigger city. Back when I lived out in the middle of nowhere, it was so easy to strike up a conversation with someone. You could easily walk up and start talking. Now in the city, people give you dirty looks if you try talking to them. It's so weird...
@@aeoligarlic4024 Yeah, right like there are all these serial killers. BS! The facts are simple- people don't know how to socialize and social media on the cellphone is considered more entertaining.
I’ve started doing that lately too. It’s actually quite amusing. I will say something random to random people and they have odd reactions. Personally I find it funny!
P.S I had a head injury last week. Apparently mild concussions can impact one’s impulse control! 😂
I think it's because no matter how much you try to make new friends, they end up leaving you for new jobs and opportunities.
A single clicking block changes everything
I think this a lot, everyone I've ever known has eventually just moved away, people move constantly, while normalised today I don't think it's natural or healthy
People can't afford to buy a house in their 20s or 30s anymore, so yeah, people have become interchangeable renters...
A chloroformed rag can fix that
No concept of friends doesn’t exist it’s just something you have as child to help you develop socially and have fun but you should get rid of them by the time you’re 18 no later than 21 and start focusing on yourself and your education and career
Life has become about survival, not both surviving and thriving. I have no energy to do anything but survive, and when I do have free time I just wish to be alone.
Since I noticed this problem but no one takes this seriously, I am completely lonely. No one has any understanding for me, my opinions and my way of thinking. Seriously, it's really hard to exist in this century despite all these "innovations" - because we forgot about developing ourselves! Most people around me are ignorant, selfish or don't want to hear other people's opinions. In general, I noticed a lack of empathy throughout my life. This led to depression in the last few years and since I go to school, I can't be active to modernise the world (I mean human thinking).
I'm also very much into maths and philosophy, the two most underrated disciplines ever!
@@trwn87Youre not alone my friend, this mass apathy is destroying humanity at its core.
@@hokhanh7266 I know. 😭
@@trwn87 i also love math and am studying philosophy, its good to know theres people out there alike to me 👍
@@hokhanh7266 Wow, amazing! 👍
Sadly, the trend is hard to reverse. I personally have found that one way to foster a sense of community is by pursuing arts and creative work. They provide me a sense of solace and comfort in times of loneliness.
Very true. I’m extremely fortunate to have been skateboarding for 14 years, so I’ve made many friends who I still hang out with and skate with to this day, who i wouldn’t of ever connected with otherwise. Without it, I genuinely don’t know what else I’d do sometimes. My local skatepark is the place I’ve felt the most community at
I’m an art major and I found myself a sense of that community. I’m in tons of online communities, that we support each other’s work and even help each other. Even in my social life, where I made many friends in school because we share the same interest of art.
Which would you prefer: a collective that dictates your entire life and even denies your individuality or being alone? As a trans I would prefer the latter.
@@alphabetpeople2902 ah Yes, because every single community is the Heaven's Gate cult
@lordvader3605 no it won’t, AI isn’t creative as the human mind
Community is only dead if you allow yourself to pull away and don’t engage. Most people on social media aren’t actually SOCIAL. Most people don’t comment on things they see or watch, most people don’t engage with things they see or the people around them.
when you have peers wanting to mask and jab you, any future of 'community' is over. many of you have proven you should never be trusted or talked too, I'm talking to you mask and jab lunatics. the past couple years have shown the true colors of our society. most of you can go to hell.
This is exactly why community is dead though is this individualistic way of thinking when you say “community is only dead if you allow yourself to pull away” you place blame on the individual while neglecting the overall reality that society is very polarized right now and it can be very hard to engage in a meaningful way
Wow
@@alexwaker
Community isnt dead. If it was, we wouldnt be here, would we?
@@ligondesenuts769 do you plan on regularly talking to all the random people you "meet" in the comments?
What you call a community is a bunch of comments talking at each other, without the goal of actually getting to know each other.
this isnt community.
The irony is that social media was supposed to be a solution to the problem
Yeah, instead millions of people turned into the robot that is Zuckerberg
Lmao right
It was. But that was ultimately undermined by all the unintended consequences.
I also think the fact that American suburbs have nothing to do forces us to be online. I’m 17. Every Friday I am happy that school is over, I get home, and then it’s like: “now what?”. it forces me to be on my phone for hours. There is genuinely nothing to do here. My mom and her friends have the same problem. On top of that it’s always very cold and there are no pretty sight. I walk outside and it’s 20 degrees outside and all I have to look at are dead trees and dead leaves.
Agreed. We don’t have any other choice
"Forced you to be on your phone" Surely there is something better you can do with your time
@@DK-ym8jr yeah smoke bongs
@@DK-ym8jr a productive hobby wouldn't change what he said. I've got several productive things I do with my life, and I get out regularly, and I still struggle to actually find places to socialize
@@schmity007 You can certainly used hobbies to help create a community though. Creating school clubs, gathering groups of friends to do it with, or honestly just showing off your skills to your neighbors seem like some great ways to utilize that. But first you gotta get them
I always thought that there was a problem with ME, like why can't I keep a group of friends like people on Instagram? I realized growing up Instagram socal media is a lie, and most people don't have a large community of friends. We're all individualistic society. I used to crave a large group of friends, text people ALL the time, invite them places, I used to really try. When I would stop messaging, no one would message me. I quickly realized no one wanted to hangout, make time to go anywhere as a group. It's sad, but it's America and it's how people live here. I had to grow up and get used to it.
I guess its hard to trust a lie.. even if the lie is known
Eg: you watch a movie knowing its make believe but it's hard to have make believe freinds
I imagine having an actor as a freind being difficult as how can you tell they are acting
I can imagine Johnny Depps trial was made hard because of this fact
It’s not just america, it is happening in the rest of the world.
Ya don't text people who never text u first
@@AK255. this was in my 20s, or younger. Like I said, I've learned my lesson now, I don't even live like this anymore.
This isn't happening just in the United States but in the entire western world, even in Latin America, at least in the big cities. My Dad and uncles have preserved their friends from childhood and different stages in their lives...but since my generation (Millennials) people don't preserve their friends of the past, your friends are the two or three you hang out with currently and if you move or change your job, you lost contact with them, I say that currently friendship expires very quickly, it is disposable. But even families are not united anymore, I have cousins I haven't seen in years and I know currently people my age that say the same, they have lost contact with uncles, cousins, the only family they keep in contact with are their parents and brothers/sisters.
That's why the West is the only liberal region, and the rest is just fascist. Which is better Iran or the West?
@@alphabetpeople2902 I prefer being like this rather than being executed for participating in a political rally, but at the same time I think we can do better than this.
To be fair,
i think in Germany we managed to preserve many comunities in our Society. Clubs and organizations are whidely spread and the majority of us are part of a Community.
Yea it’s seeping into Latin America and Asia now I only interact really with my son I barely talk much to my parents and only to one of my siblings I feel soo awkward and different like a stranger when around them I do love and care about them as they do with me but just we are worlds apart
@@denizg.9761 That's great. Which factors do you think play a role in that, I suppose there are in part idiosyncratic and in part the result of some good policies.
Your message is truly so sad. I'm even on a local soccer team but the focus is too much on winning and the playing of the sport and less on building friendships and a community. It's been so hard to find a community that isn't religious.
Then I'll hint ya.
ONLY UNDER THE LORD, will we truly be together like old times will we be back and strong again. Hoe would they look like you may ask? I'll be honest, I wouldn't truly know until they've been in my life at least 5 years and as I said before, even I wouldn't truly know.
But the Word of the LORD does advise, and ye shall know them by their fruits.
I think you misunderstand the purpose of sports. It's to win and play the game. Building friendships is the purpose of a social club, not a sports team. But there's no reason you can't start your own organization for creating community.
@@tjsogmc The purpose of sports is to win, of course, but seeing it as an only "win or lose" misses the entire point of the sport
A well connected sport team will pretty much coordinate better than the individualistic one that only focuses on showing off the best players and using the rest as a fodder, just so that they are there
@@tjsogmc nonsense, for most sports clubs it's a social hub, always has been, unless you're striving to go pro and have a realistic path, and even the teambuilding and socializing is a large part of it. sports are one of the most socially connecting things on earth, or at least it used to be
As an architecture student, we were required to read Jane Jacobs’ book “The Death and Life of Great American Cities,” which details the way that cities are supposed to work to build communities. By living in such individualized units of residence in suburbs, we have almost completely lost the ability to form a local community even if we wanted to. This book is truly eye opening especially from our perspective, since most young people like me and you have never experienced how a strong neighborhood community functions. It is a great read and could be good inspiration for a video!
when you have peers wanting to mask and jab you, any future of 'community' is over. many of you have proven you should never be trusted or talked too, I'm talking to you mask and jab lunatics. the past couple years have shown the true colors of our society. most of you can go to hell.
Thanks for the recommendation
If you ever get the chance, build a community. Communal gardens, meeting areas, shared ownership of solar or wind energy. These people will be much happier than if every house had everything they needed
@bastiat American Suburbia is one of the most classist, racist, expensive, unfree, environmentally-unfriendly and impractical systems of land use design to exist. A bunch of semi-isolated prisons where the nearest Grocery store is 5 mi away or 10-15 minute drive. Or any things necessary to live in a modern economy. Which exists due to propaganda during the late 1950s by GM, Auto Companies, Real Estate Developers, the Eisenhower administration, and the DOD. Military considerations aside it exists to make certain industries exist in their current capacity today and as wealthy as they are. Rarely anywhere on earth does such car-centric infrastructure exist in any modern/advanced economy. I could go on about how impoverishing it is(by design), but just know Suburbia isn't a natural evolution, it's by design. Keeping the current system set up less than 80 years ago alive and said system's creators rich.
You've been propagandized by a socialist utopian :D. Cities don't work like cities used to work either. I've lived in the same apartment building for 20 years in NYC and barely know any of my neighbors. This is a cultural shift, whether you live in the suburbs with lots of space, or are crammed into 1 building living on top of each other.
That's why I love pets. People are selfish and quick to drop you when things get tough but animals always stay by your side
people are selfish says a human which takes a pet because pet is with him. So because of his loneliness.. Looks like you are selfish too.
Not to bum you out, but that's mostly because we trap them with us. The relationship many have with their pets seems vampiric to me. The owner has the pet as a captive source of "feel good" for them, instead of having the pet more as a companion that is more-or-less a free being in their own right.
We take away the animals ability to be what it evolved to be (neutering their sex organs, keeping them in a domicile), kinda doing to it what we've done to ourselves.
I know modern living often can't accommodate a "free" pet, but who said we should be engaging in "modern living"? The markets do! We don't serve humanity, we serve markets! Welcome to hell :)
@@ManDuderGuy I think some pets genuinely love their owners. You can say that it's forced and isn't real affection but some pets do care for their owners even if animals weren't they'd still be able to make connections with humans
@@starwoodanime1532 I agree with you, yes of course pets can be happy and affectionate, and it's not like we're hurting them if we take care of them.
But I'm still saying that it is bizarre and in a sense "wrong" to neuter them and trap them indoors. We are stealing their lives from them in a way. They don't get to have sex, they don't get to experience motherhood etc.
It's a tradeoff for them. I know it's not evil or whatever, just pointing out some facts.
@A.A.-ron It feels like people do this with babies as well. Just reproducing to have a feel good source
It was all done by design because a happy, communal society is one who will not tolerate tyrants of any kind.
A great example of that is the rampant hostility to unions in the workplace. Managers are tyrants at heart, so naturally, there's nothing they hate more than unions.
Take the notion of a unionised workplace to its logical extreme, and you get a worker-owned co-op, which is the workplace equivalent of a democracy.
I found society in the 1980s to be much more mean spirited. People may have interacted more but our culture was stifling. Everyone was expected to follow the exact same life script and anyone who did not were socially ostracised. Most of my friends felt like our parents had us just because that was what was expected instead of because they really wanted us.
Yeah I’ve realised the conversation here is more based on “there was more community back then, we need to get back to that” and totally ignoring how forced and harmful a lot of the social protocols in those communities actually were and how just being part of a collective doesn’t make you instantly happier.
Thank you! it seems like often people forget about this when they talk about the "good old days".
During the 1980s, materialism hit an all time high...family & friends were affording high-end living/material things,& became overly concerned & impressed with material things...the days of family & community were replaced with greed, judgement, envy & competition... family & a sense of community were lost
I'm sure your parents have a totally different opinion of themselves and their reasons for having you. And that they'd be totally insulted. Typical 21st century selfish answer lol
You are either community-oriented or individually-oriented, but you can not be both!
It's harder than ever to have community mostly because people don't know how to accept that we're all human and go through everyday struggles, but that we should be here for one another despite our differences. As someone who views himself as more spiritual than religious, I respect people from all walks of life simply because they're human and have their own struggles and views and I've noticed that the more I just see people as they are the more empathy I begin to have for others, but also looking at my own imperfections before I judge others for theirs because community means a lot to me. Even as someone who deeply values individuality to a high degree, I still want to have people around me where he have each other's backs and care for one another in times of need. Recently, I started picking up trash in my neighborhood and I remember someone asking me "Why do you do this every Saturday?" My response: "Because I care about my neighborhood." A month later, I've seen about 10 others out there with me every Saturday picking up trash and we have a community of people looking out for the cleanliness of our neighborhood. It's a beautiful thing to see.
@bastiat Okay.
i love this comment! i feel like it is still like that in third world countriea
I crave a good community, but after having experienced betrayal and abandonment from people I thought were friends, I just can't bring myself to rely on or trust others at their word or public actions. Snakes in the grass man, snakes in the grass.
@bastiat woah, you gonna stretch before reaching like that? cause where did I say I was perfect? where did i say I didn't forgive them? where did i call all people bad? at worst, I implied communities always have malicious people in them. at best, it's my anacdotel experience having been in religious, academic, sport, and misc. hobby centered communities that all had snakes in them. now I dunno about you, but if a friend: leaves the lease agreement early without telling me giving me 5 days to find a new home, tries to start a false rumor about one of his friends r@ping his sister because of personal petty drama, brings a gun into my house without telling me and the does a negligent discharge almost shooting my dog, trying to steal my dog, or a friend r@pes someone, I don't really want to be friends with them anymore. (All different friends from differnt communities btw, lord knows i *tried* to trust en mass again 😭) I've made mistakes in my life, yes, but I haven't done shit like that to anybody. lastly it's the way communities tend to be light on these snakes but cruel to the victims that really drives me away in disgust, and it happens all the time especially in churches like Christianity and whatnot.
tldr: you can forgive people *and* want to no longer be friends with them after the fact. and while it's individual people that commit the transgression, it's usually the communities' collective reaction to the crime and victim that lead me and many others to give up on any communities all together.
@bastiat 1) the first one never said everybody is snakes 🤣 i literally just said that I don't trust communities because theres always someone who hurt others. Trust me the first comment isn't edited or anything, read it again.
2) the second comment says the same as the first but with my personal anecdotes and my personal opinion on forgiveness.
3) stay safe out there pal 🙏
I was so isolated during the pandemic. It made me so miserable. I felt like I was at my worst. Eventually I got through school and decided to start a sticker business'. I started selling at the farmers market and started working for a nonprofit as well as the forest service. I made so many new connections in my community and I feel way less isolated and much more fulfilled in life. I went to the fall festival today and did free face painting for people. It was awesome to just make so many kids happy as well as some adults. Community is hard to find for a lot of people though. I'm lucky in a way to live in a tightknit rural town.
It's crazy cause I just turned 20 not too long ago and even on the short amount of time I've been alive, I've noticed how much things have changed in the world. People used to seem more friendly back then, cause I'm in college now and it's rare to even make eye contact with people to get a smile while walking too class. I've made it a goal of mine to at least attempt to make eye contact and smile at everyone I walk past and get a smile from at least 2 people a day, just to try to make people feel acknowledged. In middle school I suffered from depression from being lonely, but after getting some therapy I learned a lot and I now make it my goal to try to make sure people don't have to feel that way. Sure technology has put us in a bubble, but making active efforts to really rekindle that sense of community can go a long way
Funny you say that. The USA started going downhill after 911, and to be frank has never recovered from being paranoid 24/7. Yes there was a time when most people were fairly chill and it took alot for adults to explode in public like children. The internet in itself was a mixed bag, but I think the rise of the smartphone after 2010ish didn't help the lack of empathy you see in everybody nowadays.
That stuff was going on that you described when I was in college and that was over 20 years ago. I remember when 9/11 happened my freshman year and that's when everything changed. People were less happy out in publics. You could just feel people's optimism and joy change to sadness and despair.
Try 30, I grew up in the late 90s and throughout the 00s world changed a lot to me in the past decade. If you told my teenage self back in 2007 that the biggest issue to some people in the 2020s would be pronouns and AI would become good enough to threaten the livelihoods of artists I would have called you a schizo. World felt lot more lax back than, friends were insulting and edgy with each other but still friends despite it all, malls were starting to die but lot of people from my school still hanged out at one, social media started appearing but it wasn't as polarizing as it is now. I do feel sorry for Gen Z, it's pretty much a different world now and they have to tip toe around out of fear of being rejected by their peers.
Post-covid I noticed how closed-down everyone seems. I think a lot of it is fear--certainly the news media and the internet seem to want us to all be afraid, angry, and confused. I made exactly the same resolution you did--which was to smile at people and try to make them feel acknowledged. For a while I was watching these "horrible Karen videos", but I decided that they just make you dislike people more, and make you even more alienated. I've noticed that on airplanes no one talks to anyone else anymore. You can be on a long flight and your neighbors act like you are probably a serial killer or some crazed evangelical. This cold, unfriendly behavior is the new normal. Personally, I think it's sick.
People in my country (Pakistan) desire a more individualistic lifestyle because of too much "community". People at your place want vice versa. Nobody likes what they have!
Both have their own problems, I guess
Extremism is always a problem right
A good reminder that we are not all living in the same social situations!
Same with indians😢 I'm still confused
@@enochjohnson3499Yeah but we were made for community not individualism. That’s the difference.
“People have to work two jobs just to exist at this point and there is no time to actually build a sense of community”
Damn
@R S123 The problem is you and the social communities. People don't want to interact as much as they used to.
Dude this stuff has been going on for decades stop making excuses
@@The_king567 you’re better than me. I wish you success in your endeavors.
It’s a grim reality. We are all cogs in the Capitalist machine. It is exhausting to run on the materialistic hamster wheel just to state afloat. No wonder people have no time for social interaction.
I was thinking the same thing, I feel like a authentic community is such a hard thing to find and cultivate today. Thanks for the video!
Thanks for watching
What’s your discord, Zahran? I need some like minded friends
when you have peers wanting to mask and jab you, any future of 'community' is over. many of you have proven you should never be trusted or talked too, I'm talking to you mask and jab lunatics. the past couple years have shown the true colors of our society. most of you can go to hell.
I need a community.
Because many many many of us have no sense of purpose, thus it’s hard rationalizing getting together to socialize solely for the sake of socializing.
I'm a recovering addict and some people that don't have an addiction come to AA/NA meetings just for the community/camaraderie aspect of the meetings.
That’s a huge part of overcoming trauma/addiction. In fact, for some people it’s one of the best ways to heal
The biggest symptom behind many ills is a lack of community
Is that really a thing?
Reminds me of "The Narrator" and Marla in Fight Club.
Perhaps you could direct people without addictions to Alanon.
@@remc0s Fight Club was always about societal change. The director David Fincher commented in an interview in 1999: "We're designed to be hunters and we're in a society of shopping. There's nothing to kill anymore, there's nothing to fight, nothing to overcome, nothing to explore. In that societal emasculation, this everyman is created."
I never really experienced "true community" even when I was young. I was surrounded y horrible people that hurt/ditched me on a constant basis and I was never close with anyone. I'm pretty sure a lot of people share the same fate, they had no choice but to be surrounded by terrible people and that is what was called "community" back then. Personally I'm glad technology makes it unnecessary to deal with most people anymore...
There are some good. But mostly its doing sovial media is also infiltrated and they doing more hatm than good so it all boils down to us. The most important question is what is your next step?
I'll see ya out in the field, comrade. Truly, I wish you the best.
Same
Agreed. 80's we had community. Bunch of hateful folks
This is something I didn’t even consider. For many people, “community” is something that actually did damage, so being able to do things alone is actually a blessing for them. Thanks for making this point.
Same
Honestly, I'm happy enough just having a small circle of like minded friends, I don't need to be part of a big community to be happy.
That was great! I'm glad someone is talking about this! It's literally killing us, hyper individualism. The hippies were on the right track but their "change it from within" attitude was just them selling out to corporate America.
Honestly, as an autistic person I have mixed feelings about participating in communities as i struggle to find the importance of community and sense of belonging. Growing up, i've always been shunned for my autistic traits, so i kinda just got used to being alone and doing my own stuff by myself.
I envy my friends who can get into communities easily and genuinely have a great time, but at the same time, socializing as an autistic person is really damn tiring, and not to mention that you have to be aware of the social cues in a certain community, and that us autistic people also have to conform to neurotypical expectations in a community, which is REALLY tiring. Therefore, I'm not big on contributing to communities as it seems like an almost impossible task to do as an autistic person in neurotypical communities.
I do have friends (most are neurodivergent too), however, but it's different from having to be in communities you know? Like, conforming to the expectations of 5 (mostly neurodivergent) people is waaaayyy more easier than conforming to 20 neurotypical people.
Yes you describe alot of the feelings others in spectrum would say . And you probably describe them better than alot of others . Public outings tire me out even if not social. Social outings with family or small groups can be like anesthesia … come home and instant crash to sleep .
You are not alone …. Even if you feel like you are . I’m prolly more asperger than autistic but I get it .
where did u find ur friends?
I worked at the same job for 12 years and attended every social and holiday events.
Then I got fired!
Two years later, NOT ONE person asked about me, nor asked about my where abouts , or checked in on me. I was totally forgotten.
I'm mentioning this because work place is the Worst place to connect with people yet we're forced to spend majority of our lives there to ensure our survival.
The reason why we have distrust towards each other is because the bad people have way more impact on our lives then good people.
NOW I'm a total introvert with trust issues. This was the 4th time my job lay me off!
Our society is trash!
Hey there ssjb goku hehe😅
After 4 layoffs, you should probably start to question whether the job is the problem or you.
This is absolutely spot on with so many of the problems we are presented with in modern society. What is often frustrating is that so many people seem to not care about actually connecting with one another anymore... while at the same time being more lonely than any prior generation. It's become a much bigger problem since the disease that shall not be named. People have become so accustomed to doing things remote, that the very idea of getting together in person is almost offensive. Many times I find myself just throwing my hands up and thinking, "this is just what society is now." But I can't help having the nagging feeling that this is exactly what many others are doing as well.
when you have peers wanting to mask and jab you, any future of 'community' is over. many of you have proven you should never be trusted or talked too, I'm talking to you mask and jab lunatics. the past couple years have shown the true colors of our society. most of you can go to hell.
@@PraiseJesusChristOurSavior You aren't wrong. It's just depressing is all. Bodily autonomy was pretty hip... until it suddenly wasn't anymore.
@@lerch1500 its not 'bodily autonomy' if it affects others in your community
@@idle-hands 'Bodily autonomy' is a term used to coerce others into accepting a lie. Abortion has always affected more than just a woman's body (it kills the infant's body). But go get vaccinated because it protects other people, even though the vaccinated are also catching and spreading the disease... It was never about bodily autonomy or protecting others. It was always about controlling society.
But *who* is “more lonely than previous generations”? Just being fair, because how can we claim or measure that? Asking because whenever I hear of this “loneliness pandemic” I question who is it and who does it not apply to? Because I’m not very lonely being by myself. I feel like my super curious mind has so many things has so many things it’s wants to read and research and dig deep about, and my artistic heart (or what’s left of my heart) has so many things it wants to create, and to explore inwardly. I’d rather take my time for that. Most human beings don’t know what to do with loyalty and support, so I no longer give it freely. People just want to talk and dump stuff. And the way I’m built, I no longer care for dialogue because at the end of the day, it does nothing. Actions always trumps talk. And consistent actions trump random actions. That’s mostly what I care about and what solves actual problems. Anything else, please have a monologue in your car or in your journal or prayers (if you pray) FIRST.
It’s taken years of being backstabbed, ditched, and unappreciated to make me lose faith in community. Why do they lie to us as kids, saying if we’re kind to people we’ll make friends? That’s the biggest lie, especially for family and the workplace. Humans are so selfish, and kindness is only something they look down on. Why would anyone want a community in THAT?
Edit: to clarify, my issue isn’t that people aren’t nice in return, my issue is the people that actually hurt me in return!
I feel the same way, but it would still be nice to have a good group of people. Even if it’s statistically unlikely to be found.
@@enochjohnson3499 it’s a nice concept, but very unrealistic. Even the “nice” people switch up like the weather.
@@sapphirelane1714
Yeah, I have a hard time deciding whether to be cold hearted or continue to hope for good people to show up. Anyways good luck bro
@@sapphirelane1714 Competitive culture encourages selfishness.
It's a cursed circle, where somepeople long ago got hurt by bad people, learned to act bad to others. Then new people got hurt, started acting bad and so on and everyone plays innocent card "I am good, but world around me is bad, so I act bad". However, the moment you condemn others for sins of others in the past you become bad as well. Being good is the act of selflessness, but everyone expects reciprocation
Im a tradie, 22 years old. Even here its the same, got into it thinking it would be bullshit and banter, nope. Even the old guys just sit on their phones at smoko. Its a lonely life, no one really talks to eachother, i just work to live and fill up as much of my day as possible so i dont reflect on how sad it is.
Yeah it is bloody sad. I make sure not to mindlessly scroll on the phone when around other people.
i'm a 10th grader. it's genuinely been so hard for me to make meaningful connections ever since stuff like tik tok became really popular. i feel like the people that surround me care more about a virtual world than the real world especially after covid. i talk to people at school but i'm not 'accepted' into their group as i dont really use social media. i will literally never see any of them again once i'm out of school. but i've started to get used to it, being alone at least made me realize what i wanted to do with my academic life so now my priorities are set on being accepted to a high ranking college. i just hope i can make friends like i did in my childhood again but i doubt thats possible now
In choosing a college, be sure to visit and see how friendly the atmosphere is. That is a super-important thing. I only applied to colleges that didn't allow fraternities and sororities, and ended up going to Oberlin. it was super-friendly in the Sixties, but is now embarrassingly politically correct and intolerant. It may still be friendly, I'm not sure. Being at a school where it is easy to make friends is incredibly important, especially for people who have just left home. I made the mistake of getting my masters at the University of Chicago--a school with a high reputation but an absolutely hostile emotional atmosphere. I escaped to the University of Wisconsin, which was a lot nicer. College is not just part of a career-path; it is important for one's emotional and social development.
I'm sorry but this crisis will continue till its actually addressed
I've found one tip that has helped me be more social and it's wearing pop culture shirts every time I go outside whether it be to the movies, concerts, museums, libraries, gyms etc. Basically any where people interact. I wear shirts of cartoons, anime, concert shirts, movie shirts and what I've noticed is that a couple of times a stranger will start a conversation with me because they enjoy the same things that I wear. Just a tip for people that want something to talk about in public.
Thank you for this video, Cole! My family thinks I’m weird for acknowledging the *reality* that individualism, not community, is how the world works today.
That’s interesting that they haven’t realized that yet
That's something I've learnt lately
If not for individuality the West would be a fascist hell hole like the third world. Collectivism always leads to tyranny and fascism and even communism. These are synonyms.
I learnt that like 3 years ago when I was 14…
The only community that we have is the internet now, that's where everyone is active on now. People are just focused on their screens now rather than opening up to other people. I also agree how difficult it is to socialize based off of how high the cost of living is now. Great video btw!
I'm 37 years old currently. I noticed early on that groups of people can tend to act differently and more "fake" than how they do on an individual level. People that are part of a group may sometimes act differently and do things to fit in that they normally wouldn't do otherwise. And not just kids, most everyone is like this. Before I consciously realized this I was doing it myself. But as I grew up and recognized this I began to strongly disagree with compromising who I am and what I stand for only for the sake of fitting in with a group.
Over time I started to be very independent, and this is one of the biggest reasons why, among others. I grew to become like this before the modern internet culture of today. And I'm not this way because I think I'm better than everyone else or something, I definitely have flaws. I just can't stand being around phony people trying to rub their stupid B.S. in my face. I realize it's not always like this, but I've experienced it enough to really irk me and make me just prefer to be alone or with one or two friends at the most.
A few friends is good enough. A lot of people don’t even have that
@@kwasiahenkora6583 Nothing wrong with a few friends...actually nothing wrong with lots of friends if one likes. I just prefer only a few myself. But yes alot of people have no friends at all.
Better alone than being bullied by those who think you are different.
Find others who are different. Not saying it will be easy but has anything ever been easy?
@@Wonkess_Chonkess it’s impossible man. Seriously.
@@RmationYT you think you're the most awkward person in the world?
@@Wonkess_Chonkess no not really
@@RmationYT well go find someone else like you. Either online, ask you're parents if they know someone who has a child "like you" or aks litterally anyone else who you know if they know someone, are you attending any colleges or schools you can probably find someone there.
I'm glad I found a community in my Elk's Lodge. Sure they are all far older than me, but that sense of community is so strong in them. People remember things about me that go around or remember conversation's I have had.
I’m glad you’ve found a community too
I tried participating in board game nights and dnd campaigns to make friends or at least acquaintances but nobody really wants get to know each other. Sometimes a couple friends will show up but most of the times they will alienate everyone around them. It's pretty difficult when I am starving for connection and end up disappointed thinking that there is something wrong with me.
A well connected community that is full of people who are fully individuated and understand themselves and the roll they play within that community is the ideal IMO. Possible? Na but we can try
The schools hardly allow that for children. At least that's been the impression I'm left with.
And when they lose their individuality as kids, I don't know if they would willingly change towards more individualism as they grow up.
Unfortunately it isn’t because it isn’t the norm. The masses follow what the masses endorses, and the masses endorses me me me. My money, my pleasure, my peace and my progress. A few individuals that are awake will find more suffering because of being awake, but the counter to that is to cultivate a good life while being awake. Try to make an effort to find like minded people, or at the bare minimum, just use this knowledge to cultivate positive interactions outside until you eventually find a friend or social connection. In the mean while, life your life as well as you can live it. Don’t judge people, be kind, plan a good use of your time with positive and joyful activities outside of necessities such as work and household and ultimately cultivate peace inside of yourself. We have much to be grateful for as we are living in the most comfortable and easiest of times, so I think baring patience on people being too addicted to technology as a trade off is acceptable.
Live well by using time well, choosing good thoughts and finding peace. If good friends and like minded people happen to bump into you, don’t hesitate, open yourself to them. If they don’t, remain content that you are trying to live your life well and are actively trying to cultivate kindness and inner peace for your soul. No point over complicating our reality.
As a trans, that's the only community I would sign up for. The community that doesn't accept my individuality and wants me to confirm to their social rules? No thanks, that price is way too high and I'm not willing to pay it. I'll prefer to be alone.
when you have peers wanting to mask and jab you, any future of 'community' is over. many of you have proven you should never be trusted or talked too, I'm talking to you mask and jab lunatics. the past couple years have shown the true colors of our society. most of you can go to hell.
We all need to consensually separate into our own groups. So everyone can follow their own individual desures, but still be in a community of like minded people.
I felt like the community failed me so I went my own way
It also helps that people are so quick to judge and reject others (esp men, women too to a lesser extent), making anybody who dont feel accepted need to find themself outside of a community. When these people do have influence, they’d promote individualism bc of their experience.
Judging can stem from many things such as trust, individualism, tribal community, and mindset. It's probably going to continue to get worse.
Church has always been my best incentive to create social connections. It indeed can be a challenge to socialize within the own church environment, but that's something you learn how to deal with as in any human interaction.
Agreed I think assembly is one of the few most pure/valuable thing things Christ gave us that we have left. We don’t always appreciate how great of a resource it is even though it’s much more than that especially if you’re person of faith and you understand it’s function here on earth. And when I say church/assembly I mean it in the most pure way that Bible describes, not these many man made institutions of mainstream Christianity that ppl associate as church, though even those ones are better than nothing and I think are under-appreciated as well.
As a social worker part of my role is to essentially re introduce clients back into a social network and community. The simple act of playing a board game or RPG game in a co operative setting on a regular basis makes a huge impact in people’s lives.
People have no reason to take part in any activity (its easy to no bother) at all. People work long hours sometimes working weekends. Live in apartments close to work as they can’t really afford to use a car or bike 🏍️ all the time, rising costs of living where it is cheaper to buy food the do shopping, relationships generally come from either Uni or the workplace as they don’t have time outside. Attending a gym is done at 24/7 area because they are time poor and have to fit thing in where they can.
People generally don’t want relationships where they are tagged, or in a situation where they may not win, instead preferring to have options and cover the doorways, as being a partner or attached to one person (venerable and not great odd of success) preferably they have 2-3 very close relations across the board and while they care about them, they still live alone and consider themselves single and constantly outweigh the benefits and losses at every given turn.
Such a good comment yiu raise so many good issues. Including the importance of having hobbies and interests
It’s 100% due to the internet and long-decreasing standards of living in our country. In the US, more and more people have been needing to take up second and third jobs just to make basic ends meet. This is terrible for peoples’ health and puts their brain on survival mode all the time which makes for worse social interactions
I mean, the book much of this video is based on was talking about the 50s
Lies stop wanting to be oppressed
Lots of people grew up with trauma bonds that have skewed the perception of community into something dark and vile.
Believe me, when you get mobbed by a bunch of people multiple times, you don't ever look at community the same way again. You just see the dark shadow hiding in plain sight.
After all, some of man's greatest atrocities came from the collective. The individual that rejected these tenants alleviates themselves of partaking in such evil.
Exactly, collectivism leads to fascism.
WEAR YOUR MASK , WE ARE ALL DOING IT e.g.
when you have peers wanting to mask and jab you, any future of 'community' is over. many of you have proven you should never be trusted or talked too, I'm talking to you mask and jab lunatics. the past couple years have shown the true colors of our society. most of you can go to hell.
Exactly! 👍👍👍
@@PraiseJesusChristOurSavior that's a right wing talking point and so collectivistic. You're part of the problem.
I started complaining about 10 to 15 years ago. Tried to tell everyone that our phones shouldn't be out when we chill and I was ostracized. They are all still friends. So i feel like people fought for this reality and many people went along with it. But great video!💯
Underrated comment.
It has huge impacts on how we view ourselves and others. We rely a lot on individualistic, “free-will” theories to make it through life (ranging from financial stability to crime to education to health outcomes) instead of tried and true community functions to clear out alot of these “individual problems” (which are often either created by a disconnected hyper-tech capitalist society or simply inherent problems to human society that *may* always exist). We blame and shame ourselves and others for their failures instead of looking to structural issues that create these environments for failure
The opposite of individualism is collectivism, which isn't the same thing as community. It's an ideological perspective. Do you consider yourself valuable and sovereign? Then you're probably an individual. You can still have community and promote individualism. Tribalism, ironically enough, is the root of our problem. You would think something like that would promote community but all that does is make communities smaller by making people ostracize and cut out those they view as degenerates.
What the west has is hyper individualism. And hyper individualism destroys the whole concept of community. We are reaping what we have sown due to hyper individualism:
- Increase in addiction amongst citizens
- Increase in Anxiety and Depression
- Loneliness Epidemic that has been proven to be far greater amongst hyper individualistic societies (no shocker there)
- Decline of marriage
- Birthrate decline
I've been a part of some online community of people for like 5 years in which I've made all of my online friends on (first we were on amino then moved to discord because amino was a dying platform and also discord made more sense to use).
They're by far the most amazing people I've ever met, I owe a lot to them and I can't even imagine my time on the internet without them, I'm so grateful they're there and they help me whenever I'm going through some tough times and I return the favor ofc. (my humor also comes from this community).
P.S.;
I met them through our common interest of making maps and games, my advice if you want to find a tight-knit community like the one I'm a part of, I suggest joining some community online that you're interested in and doesn't have tons of members but also doesn't have too little (like a discord server or subreddit for example).
Same! I met some rlly awesome ppl online and have known them for abt 6 years now and I've been able to build a community on discord for my projects n stuff,, its really helpful for me bc i cant always afford to go out and travel and i can only walk around in the front yard which is not rlly that satisfying..
But do you meet in real life? I'm glad you found your tribe and that online works for you.
I'd love to find a community but at some point if it's online I would like to meet in real life.
@@amandam480 funny you ask that, this summer i'll be meeting up with them.
there has also been several meetups between the other members before as well.
@@kelp_khan that is fantastic. You have found a real community I'm jealous😊. Have fun with them
Social anxiety due to bullying at school and as a consequence, lack of social connections. And people need to survive these days, so even friends will put themselves first.
But then, due to my diagnosis, many people call me unsocial...
Honestly, I didn't really think about the decline in community. I have noticed the decline in family support (people care for their parents or having children). Know people have different situations but money seems to be the biggest problem.
Cuz sometimes community can be toxic. Went from sharing companionship to just being neediness time wasting and burdening.
I feel exactly the same thing. Feeling isolated lonely and feeling like no one cares about each other or trusts each other.
There are still, at least, pockets of community here in the U.S. As someone who lives in a rural, Southern town, I can tell you that there are still plenty of clubs, organizations, and "hang out spots" where you can get to know people and "find your circle." Sure, if you're used to socializing on the internet, you may be accustomed to finding people who more closely match your interests, views, beliefs, etc. (the whole "echo chamber" phenomenon), but working through the differences you have with the more limited circle you have nearby can lead to some awesome friendships and opportunities for personal growth.
It's not just virtualization. Everyone seems angrier, pettier, crazier now. Even when you find friends it's like people are incapable of not bringing drama and meanness into it. I dunno maybe it's just me but this is how it feels nowadays.
I feel this. I was so aware of this that I want to make a meet up group for introverts. I'm a maker who gets lonely and bored at home and my stockists tells me the same thing, she's like "everytime someone brings in stock, they are telling me how lonely they are, maybe we should create a social group"
We need more community social groups
I noticed how much fun in our neighborhood we had here in California when we had that massive blackout in 2011. Talking to neighbors we never spoke to, sharing food, ice, bbqing outside, and a collective celebration when the lights turned back on. It was miserably hot without AC which is why we were outside at night.
I've had more bad experiences in communities and with people in general than I have ever had with being alone. I always used to enjoy being along and have been living in complete solitude now for a few years and I've never been happier with my life. I’ve grown as a person since I’ve been alone, I now have a company, a house, two dogs, a cat and chicken living in my big garden, and I’m just 24. Back then, being with people held me back, I was depressed and unmotivated, and I don't mean that the people in my life were solely to blame for that, but they did however played a huge part in it, being alone gave me time to reflect. I also do daydream and get much of my socialization from friends in my mind, that may sounds funny but they were my mentors on my journey, they helped me to become who I am today, I laugh with them and play out scenarios in my head, this makes me more happy than I’ve ever been with any person in real life. I do however have few casual conversations with people throughout the day and having them is important, communication skills are important and as long as I live among people, I have to know how to communicate with them.
I feel this
Ive literally been having these reoccurring thoughts. About how our sense of community has been lost & yet we feel that we’ve somehow gained something. Wasn’t sure what my thoughts were trying to convey but I think I can see it clearer now
I keep thinking that Gen Z should be called Gen Guinea pig cuz we’re really an experiment on how living with high tech would have effects on humans
Gen zombie
@@archravenineteenseventeen only if we were all zombies but some Guinea pigs are showing more promise than others
Generation dumb ass that’s what you are
I just discovered Cole a few weeks ago. I also randomly came across a recent interview of his and Cole said he spent years and years making and posting videos without much success....but he believed in himself. And now he's nearly 500k. Thanks for this great content. I'm about ten years older than you but still catching up to you in wisdom.
I eat out constantly, I frequent the same places everyday, it’s interesting to see the way people think of and treat others in today’s society, it’s a toxic cesspool of selfishness and ignorance
I love how your solution to individualism was an entirely based upon the individual. We each must make the change and do little things to solve this problem. We need to work from the bottom up.
Great video Cole, btw I liked the part where you talked about urban sprawl, how city designs can have an effect on communities.
Thank you
Yes! As a student studying architecture, I’m so glad that this is now become a more regular topic. There needs to be a more concentrated effort to change American zoning laws for the better.
Not sure where I heard this, but - before the advent of TV in England, on the weekends whole families would join other families, hundreds of people at public parks, have lunch, children would play, parents would chat etc. As soon as TV came along and was cheap enough to be adopted by most families, the weekend park families just stopped showing up and any sense of 'community' was lost.
At some point in technological advancement, community became an inconvenience to so many
@@watching7721 I lived through, as an adult, pre-internet to internet, which was something similar. Then, lived through the rise of internet connected mobile phones. It went from getting online with a PC being a filter -both in terms of money and intelligence to one-click phone internet. Everything went downhill fast after that when 50 percent of the population with only double digit IQ's started bringing the cyber world down to swamp tier levels of stupidity and anti-intellectualism.
I think it really depends on individual preference. I have a vibrant portfolio of interests and greatly enjoy going out and experiencing life. Don't spend all that much time on my phone, social media, etc. However, as you describe "genuinely smiling at another human being" or "meeting face to face" sounds like an absolute nightmare scenario to me.
Ngl, I love my cars, and I enjoy my time driving. I spend about an hour total in commute round trip and for the most part it's a straightforward, low traffic route. I guess I'm just lucky beyond everyone's wildest dreams, because holy shit that is a lot of commuting time. I'd hate to concede that maybe, just maybe, reducing our reliance on 50s era city planning would actually be a good idea, but it's honestly out of control at this point. I still remember hearing about people commuting either by public transport or car for over 3 hours ONE WAY a while back, and that has always stuck with me.
Thank you Cole you're a hero for making this video. This is perhaps the most important video you've ever made. I've distanced myself from the self-improvement space quite a bit because I felt like it was killing my sense of self, but clicked as soon as I saw this. It seems that many self-improvement UA-camrs also sometimes drive this polarisation into extreme belief systems. Grateful to real ones like you who post genuine content and find a rational compromise between seemingly opposing viewpoints
I'm glad you touched on the fact that America hates pedestrians. I've been saying it for like a decade
Good
As a college student studying architecture, the suburban sprawl segment really resonates with me because I’ve always felt that there was something wrong with the way American cities are designed. Being able to go out and easily meet and hang out with people close by - within walking distance is very important for our mental health. This also makes building communities and physical spaces for communities much easier and natural
No it’s not. Some of us don’t want a lot of social interaction. I love living in the country far away from people
@@alicelong3613 That’s fine, as long as states don’t keep wasting the money that gets funneled from inner cities to the suburbs that always end up becoming financially insolvent within a few decades. Suburbs are fine, just not the way we build them in America…
American style, suburbs are ridiculously expensive to maintain because of honestly idiotic zoning laws and minimum set back/parking requirements, which means that longer roads are needed, which means more piping and electrical poles with enough cables to reach every single family, energy bleeding, home in a “single family unit only” neighborhood. Everything is designed around cars, and pedestrians and public transit are an afterthought. Even if the population is clearly growing. Not everywhere can be “rural” or “spacious” just because you want it to be.
My question is: Is individualism a bad thing? As an Asian, most countries in Asia practice collectivism, which creates high pressure within society. For example, in school, students are taught to conform and are afraid to question teachers or express their own opinions. Similarly, in the workplace, people are afraid to question their bosses, tolerate exploitation, and work overtime because the collective is given priority over individual rights. In extreme cases, people may even die from overwork.
We can think of individualism as a free bird that flies in the sky, able to go anywhere but sometimes feeling lonely.
In contrast, collectivism can be compared to a worker ant that is part of a colony and receives support, but will never be recognized and must work until its demise..
Yeah, it's like both individualism and collectivism have the potential to be healthy and good things, but we mostly only have the negative, ugly versions in our world. Individualism in society has potential in the sense that hypothetically people are allowed to be who they really are and to truly flourish. Most don't. Instead that individualism is twisted to be the kind where people are completely isolated and separated from each other and community, screen addicted, narcissistic, with no support network of people who actually love them. And collectivism, that could be a beautiful thing where people actually work together towards a brighter future and are there to support one another. But it is actually all about conforming to a system and culture where no one gives a fuck about each other, a grey, monochrome life where everyone is out for themselves and the only real interest people have is in making money (in China at least). Humanity has great potential but we seem to love squandering it.
@@dtd1986 greed is a disease
In class the other week I had to write a reflection of the community aspect of Halloween and it made me realize how I’ve lost that sense of community so much in every aspect of my life.
It's too risky nowadays to have any kind of relationships. One perceived wrong word or action that somebody doesn't like can ruin your entire life. It's far safer to stay out of everybody's way and don't interact unless absolutely necessary.
@@FuckEntropy that's one thing we can agree on. I found that happiness is achieved by being unapologetically yourself and not trying to please other people. If they can accept you for who you are, great, if not, then also great. Either way, be yourself.
As for me, I'm done with relationships. I'm fine on my own and don't feel the need to risk my finances and health on relationships outside of professional job related interactions.
I grew up in the late 90s and throughout the 00s, different zeitgeist back than and it wasn't relatively to long ago, all my friends were edgy and cancel culture wasn't really a thing beyond the likes of Jack Thompson trying to ban video games, and zealous soccer moms thinking Pokemon is Satanic, but the difference was no one took them seriously but people today take SJWs seriously unfortunately. Lot more lax back than, we'd insult each other but still be friends.. I feel now this radical ideology taking hold of Gen Z (even lot of older people) limits them, and they are afraid to let loose with fear of being rejected by their tribe.
"You just can't say anything anymore these days". You really can, just don't call people slurs and you're fine. It really is not that difficult
I grew up in Texas. Heavy on the religion, and anything that wasn't liked by the elders was evil. So things like Poke'mon, video games, or in some cases just technology were restricted or forbidden throughout sections of my life. As an adult I now have the freedom to dedicate my weekends to my Steam Library if I want to. And I often do. I will forgo social interactions to ensure I can have what I could not as a child due to the nature of where I lived.
I feel this could be part of the missing 15%. As we grow up we all do what we want, driven by the collective voice of our nation telling us that we are free and have every right to do so. Not realizing that this pursuit of selfish desires has a far larger impact than we realize.
To answer the final question, I think we’re too far into this to turn back now. Social media isn’t going anywhere; smartphones aren’t going anywhere; self checkout ain’t going anywhere. The only solution I see is trying to find some ways to balance the reality of the world we’re in with developing some type of community.
This is a good point. I am a big believer in facing reality as it is and trying to make the best of it. We can't turn back the technological innovations, so I try to avoid the pitfalls and just utilize technology for the positives (accessibility to information and areas of my interest).
We can forever identify what is wrong- and that has some use, but I'm 59 and people were doing this in the 1970s and 80s. There were just different challenges. I began to take notice over the years- those that were happiest and most contented were those who spent far less time decrying what was wrong or should be better, and instead asked "reality being what it is, what is the most positive thing I can do?" I have tried (albeit not always perfectly) to take the same approach.
I like your idea: take the world as it is and seek to build positive community elements from where we are.
Individualism is so strong now that it can be dangerous to seek community and be social. I think the way our society is structured has lead to a lot more narcissistic behavior. People focus on themselves so much that they stop caring how they effect other people lives.
Urban sprawl is a giant reason. I live in the suburbs and theres no town center or even mall anymore to hang out and meet new people. I walk around my neighborhood but its just shitty sidewalks with houses spaced out on 1 acre lots. We need to reduce this dependency on cars which causes giants roads and so many damn parking lots. Parking lots are just ugly boring space that could be used so much more effectively. We need to build more affordable high density housing and better public transportation. Public transportation is only used by the poor in America so of course its dangerous and neglected.
I worry that if I become friends with people that we will both eventually part ways because of life. Like if I got a job or they are going to school somewhere or move to a different state or country. We had all of these great interactions and now we won't see each other again or for a long time.
This makes me feel sad. It feels like all of that time together was almost wasted. I am afraid of making new relationships which may not last forever.
This video is totally right about the trust thing. If you put effort into a relationship and they don't meet your expectations or aren't like they might've appeared on social media, would make you want to avoid them. We have a tendency towards negativity. Hell, most of my comment is negative lol.
I think I need to learn how to build trust in people again. With that trust it might make moving on not as hard anymore or as sad because you know you will make new good friends. Most of the people that left in my life were childhood friends which is probably why it hurt so bad.
We all deserve a good and happy life. It's a really difficult and confusing time right now, but I believe we can make the change for a better future.
Thank you for the video. As negative as I can be this has helped me see the positive now and the positive future we can have.
Even if we've been kicked out of *Eden* , we have to survive. We have to believe, the future is what we make of it.
Though life's difficult, only what you make it to be.
As an extreme introvert I used to think the way the world is now is actually better but for a few years now I've begun to realize this isn't healthy or good and something needs to change. Great video. Lots of good points here.
I've only worked around 2 unions. One was concerned about bumping out other union members to get the cushy jobs. The other was way too concerned about the offerings in the vending machines. Neither was concerned with community or the person in general. No organization involving humans can ever be good on its own.
This didn’t happen you know that
@The_king567 any system involving humans will invariably see someone use that system to further their own goals. The only way to counter it, is to shine a truthful light on it. If you refuse to believe that's up to you
What’s even more crazy is how people notice this is a problem and do nothing the proactively solve the problem.
I’m seeing in lots of social media groups where people are posting that they are looking for friends. I’m curious as to why so many individuals feel the need to make friend requests announcements when there are already 100’s of people in the group posting that they are looking for friends as well. You would think ppl would connect with people who have already posted rather than everyone feeling like they need their own post.
love these self improvement essay type videos man, great stuff
That comment at 6:55 is it. You said it so well. There is no time to be social anymore.
a very motivating and hopeful ending video, thank you cole, you've actually given me the idea of creating a community in my village with 2 of my friend =)
Dude, this is exactly what I've been thinking. Thank you for this video. Community is exactly what I've been considering as the key to achieve maximum fulfillment from my jelqing habit.
I grew up in a quite conservative protestant rural church community. I always felt quite neutral and connected while I was in it, because I didn’t yet realise people didn’t really want me to be there.
When I turned 19 I moved away to Uni and spent the first year in Uni very lonely and unable to connect to my peers.
I started to miss my small church community and started indulging in nostalgic feelings.
But slowly it crept up on me how harmful a lot of that social connection was and how painful it is playing back those interactions and realise how often people really did make fun of me or were mean/passive aggressive to me, how fucked up some of those views were that they echoed back and forth and how bad and mean most of those people back in my small home town actually were, and I was one of them.
No one GENUINELY liked each other. It was just a sense of forced belonging because there was nowhere else to go. And no, none of those people ever reached out to me by themselves again after I left. The realization that it was all a facade to prop up this sense of “Christian community” by gritting our teeth together and acting as if the people we dislike are our bestest friends was so much more painful than loneliness could’ve ever been for me.
So as lonely as my individualistic Uni life is, I prefer it to being blind in a possibly hateful echo chamber just to not be alone.
That’s why I actually shy away from joining any clubs or extracurricular groups, once you realise how much can go wrong when joining a collective you get more cautious of doing it. So yeah, call me bitter, but after I got burned so bad I’m staying in my little shell, living with myself. I think a lot of people feel the same and trying to force a community where there is none makes this worse.
I'd say one important thing is that teens specifically are afraid to mess up. Everything is on social media so everyone is aware of their surroundings and always afraid to mess up so most teens just simply decide not to do anything at all.
I live in a Third World Country in the Caribbean. Back in the previous generations(im Gen z btw), such as parents in the boomer, baby boomer, Gen X, Millenial generation, Corporal Punishments was a thing such as spankings, hitting , verbal assertiveness etc as a form of discipline for misbehaviour, the mindset was "It takes a community to raise a child", meaning anyone who spots a child doing wrong things, going down a wrong path or causing injustice to the community, most people within that specific community would have authority to discipline someone's child just as they would discipline theirs. Nowadays even if you shout at a child for wrong doing or even correcting them verbally, their parents are gonna come back and start to cuss and stating that you're the wrong one in this situation. Now because of this it's become one of the reasons why the murder rate skyrocketed. I just hope one day we can all live to aim in peace and understanding once again.
My boy is almost at half a million 🔥 congrats in advance!
Love this topic
Been a minute since I’ve seen you here
I respect the fact that you express ideas that are true and helpful even if they're against the mainstream
Cole, thanks for the upload of this video, for me I am 65 earth years of age, I had all the community life when I was younger, I enjoy the isolation finally plus I was born into a family with 7 brothers I made 5th sisters, so I always had this community life from the day I was born. It all depends how people perceive their life around them and within them. One might could type I experienced it all. Now I am retired I get to be by myself enjoy my life and notice the world around me more. Have a great life journey.