As someone that struggles with mental issues, I agree with you people shouldn't idolise characters and should definitely not try to act like the person because you just end up becoming a self righteous prick.
There a lot of people who have severe mental health problems who need help. Then there are people who hit a rough patch of mental health and aren’t strong to overcome it, and they ruin it for people with mental illness.
I’ve fallen into the “depression is cool” trap myself. I feel like it’s more comfortable to make depression my identity, then to actively work to become someone who is no longer depressed
What made me "depressed" is not depression, but constant stream of "fu€k you"s from life, I get blessed by a miracle only for next day to take away my job and put me into this anexiety riden spiral of despair, when I wanted to get into college I had job, I got accepted and now when I need money more than ever job just pulled a rug under me and disapeared, whole year I have been suffering with all of this "following my dream" thing, like I am FULL OF PASSION AND DRIVE! Give me ANY job and I will be your BEST SOLDIER for ANY pay, but I am constantly "co€k blocked" from even getting a chance to fight and earn my college education, being poor su€ks, but WHY I am not even given a FAIR CHANCE to EARN my way out of poverty!? Where is God!?
what a loser, are you seriously intentionally making yourself depressed? I have good reasons to be depressed so when I see weirdos like you making a personality out of it I feel sick, I would say get help but i don't trust therapy, get god👍
@@ColeHastings I myself try to do it everyday to the people around me and it has led people around me to be somewhat more resilient, I also will one day make comic books featuring very resilient characters. I'm working on my first one right now.
I think we are in a weird transition period where mental health issues are being de stigmatized and discussed, but our institutions haven’t quite caught up yet. Politicians love to say that we need better mental health but don’t actually back it up with funding for wider access to these services. The cost and barriers to getting a good therapist/psychiatrist are still quite high for many people. Not to mention that something that needs appointments is really hard for someone with dysfunction 😅
Want to be evaluated for ADHD and Depression? Here, fill out 10 pages of forms just to get paired with someone with less than a year of experience. And make 10 calls to your insurance. At least Cigna has 15 minute calls with their therapists for free. Phone doesn't feel the same though.
Another problem with the kids doing this is that if you _do_ have serious problems, but you also happen to look a bit young, now certain people won't believe you because they think you're just following a trend. Can make it harder to get help. It's also just super weird to me as someone who grew up back when the trend was "YOU CAN'T LABEL ME!!" lol.
Same here. I was born with OCD that has gone on for generations and it took me 14 years to get a good therapist that figured out what was wrong (even though it was extremely obvious).
As a young adult who grew up when flaunting what totally cool and quirky flavor of mental illness you had was cool, trying to get a therapist who actually believes you is a nightmare. Out of the four therapists I've seen in my life, only two of them seemed to actually believe that I had problems and helped me with them.
@@TheFelixversenot every therapist is gonna be the right match for you. That’s why a lot of people with issues these days don’t wanna go through the process of getting one because it takes patients
Nice summarization "it's ok to not be okay, but it's also okay to be okay" straightforward but right on point. Interesting video Cole, appreciate you speaking out on this, and opening my eyes yet again to these problems.
@@Aderin. You're right, but it's more about not blaming the person for not feeling really right. "It's okay to not be okay" doesn't mean it's okay to bask in your depression/misery, which you shouldn't do, but rather that it's not your fault if you're not feeling okay. At least, that's how I interpret it and I totally agree with you, if you're not okay, seek for help!
As someone that struggles with actual mental issues, I never understood why people wanted to identify so badly with a problem to the point of making it a defining label, I found it disgusting and sad because when I found out I had these problems I hate that I had them and I do not want them the point I even denied that I had a problem in the first place.
its cope, romanticising mental illness akes them feel special. and its nice to know other people going through something similar. at the end of the day, most of it is just people who are depressed going online so they can be depressed together which doesnt really solve anything, it only fuels it imo at least thats what it did to me.
Exactly if those people had depression and anxiety or ocd they would realize that there is nothing beautiful about them ONLY suffering every day cause your mind works on it's own
I think you covered basically everything. Something you might have missed, however, is that there is a certain ”enjoyment” in being depressed or having a problem. Why? Because it gives you an excuse. An excuse to be lazy, to rest, and to not make something of yourself. It is no longer ”your fault” since you are depressed, which can be comforting. Because if you are totally well and happy, you have no real excuse to fail.
I agree! And i believe, that could be why theres so many people ‘self diagnosing’ in this era. You get nothing but a label for your “behaviors”. no medication or help from psychiatrists. Theres really nothing to gain by self diagnosing urself other than attention.
This rings so true with me. Life has always been hard for me. I take more effort to be on the same level as people around me in terms of productivity, sociability, &c. I know I have to, but it's hard to force myself to be like that without making myself sick of it and want to avoid it even more. I've talked about this to others, and they said “it's all just your excuse”, “it's all your fault”, “your issues aren't real”, &c. The moral lesson is to suck it up. It hurts, but my struggles aren't real and it's my fault for not trying harder. Sometimes I wished I was severely disabled. It's the only way my struggles become real and I'm excused for not forcing myself. But I'm aware that being severely disabled hurts even more, and it's not like disabled people have excuse to rest and be lazy despite all their suffering.
It's just an excuse to demand special treatment. Just doing it from a place of pity rather than a place of privilege. In the end it's the same goal: Trying to get a place of privilege above other people. It's not "I'm better than you and I deserve special treatment"... It's "I have I worse than you and I deserve special treatment"...
I think it's also cuz they want to feel worse than their friends. They get jealous because they don't have as many problems as them and want to show that they struggle too even though all they do is play on their phone
I’m glad to say that didn’t happen to me. When I got depressed after being laid off, I had no interest in hobbies I used to enjoy, and it made me very sad. I wanted to read, write, and watch movies, like I used to, but just couldn’t. I hated that I had no motivation to get out of bed, which may have contributed to my harmful thoughts. I’m glad to say that I am now on an antidepressant and back to my old self. Using depression as an excuse is reprehensible. It really trivializes such a harmful mental illness.
Hey! I'm young too, but I believe... things are about to get REAL good! I want to make a Good Future culture to escape this sadness, and I hope one day the Good Future culture can become a real thing! I'll keep making videos to give people hope, and one day we can fix this! A new culture focused on real love, real life friends, and real hugs. Whoever reads this, I hope you have a super day!
As an INDIAN I can confirm movies impact the minds of the people especially on the not so educated ones for example. The Bollywood movies shows that hero first stare a girl than the girl repulsed by that so he don’t care and continue to creep her then the girl finally realise how much the hero loves her and marry him. So much of boys influence by it and creep the girls despite being rejected.
Very spot on. What annoys me the most is when people display (very often self-diagnosed) mental illnesses and disorders like badges of honor. A lot of people want to feel special, and there is a sort of competition for being the saddest, the sickest, the one with more quirks, and have a big collection of labels. And I think this behaviour helps no one.
@@anidiot4243 some use it to justify their narcissistic behavior. I encountered some people like that online and I went as far as to accuse them as faking their feelings to be like that.
This is why I love Kentaro Miura's Berserk. Unlike many stories that I'd watched and read over the years where suffering, apathy, violence and rage were glorified, Berserk has shown how ugly it can get when being consumed by one's inner darkness. The best moments of the story were always those where the main characters showed signs of healing and compassion. I can't recommend Berserk enough.
@@nineinchthread Better read it, the original anime cover only the first arc and the second generally looks very bad and doesn't do justice to the art style.
What I think a major reason for all of these teens faking these illnesses (from a teen perspective) is that so many of today’s teens really just get their actual personality traits and passions that they genuinely enjoy shoved down from society, I know they have the typical quotes like “no one understands me” or “my problems are mine to deal with” and I understand that, and that’s a totally normal part of adolescent growth, but the people of today’s world and the years before treated that as a bad thing, instead of telling the teens it’s a normal process and that they’re feelings and passions still matter, they get slandered for their mistakes and people treat it like their voice barely matters, instead of letting them learn from their mistakes in a healthy way, which I feel like is why so many of today’s teens turn to mental illnesses, because they feel like that’s the only way to get people to notice and value them, I’m not trying to put the blame on one group or justify my own age group, but teens are still humans, they’re at a very dangerous place between adulthood and childhood, and they still don’t fully grasp their emotions, but that’s not something they should be criticized for…, and just because a teen doesn’t have a kind of mental illness, doesn’t mean they don’t have their own problems.
Everyone has problems what shouldn't try and take on something that's not you because you can feel some form of connection, for example, I sympathise with cripple people but I'm not going to try and paralyse myself from the waist down.
Yea man you kinda just described me rn. I’m 18 and i guess ‘depressed’ my fam def doesn’t just let me grow and make mistakes instead i feel like i’m walking a tightrope of a blueprint of life to walk on to make everyone and myself satisfied. No drugs, no partying, College and Work. I get it, it’s the real world but fuck. I just think in general everyone nowadays is lonelier due to comparison from social media. Social media is crazy they’ll be someone looking at someone account and cry wondering why they’re life can’t be like that meanwhile the person they’re looking at is more depressed then them
Someone send this to my ex. I started down my own mental/emotional healing journey and at a certain point, I had far surpassed him and he was holding me back. I begged him to try, to get on the path too, and he did, but it was all lip service. He didn't actually want to heal. He was way more committed to his depression than he ever was to me. That was the worst breakup I've ever been through, but I'm thriving now. I hope he figures his shit out.
same with my ex but she said that love is staying with the other person at their lowest and continued feeling and saying to me and everybody she and i knew that i didnt love her...im trying to find my path again but its hard
I don’t know exactly what you and your ex have been through but, Depression is different for everyone. Ive grown up with a chronically depressed mother and it can be impossible to treat it. Shes tried many different medications over the years and found nothing… she has other serious mental illnesses but, depression can be like that for many others. And negative childhood experiences can lead to frequent depressive episodes in adulthood. It goes sooo much deeper, but its not the same for everyone.
@@tortelinis1141 Similar thing happened to me. She gave lip service to it, but there was no real progress, and everyone said "if you love her you'll wait" so I guess I didn't love her. But I did. Or at least try.
I found myself in this rut years ago. Deleting my social media accounts 2 years ago was the best decision I ever made. No validation for my shitty feelings and it really kept me out of my head. Its the best antidote
Social media is by far the worst for mental health and it’s been proven too. It’s not healthy to be going through a wide spectrum of emotions in seconds. It makes you lose a grip on how to control your emotions whenever things happen to u in the outside world
perfect timing Cole, I'm making a short film on mental health and have been so frustrated over the past few years on the romanticisation of depression and mental health as someone who's been through it bad and got out of it... thanks for making a whole video essay on this!
Ey yo, what if we create a new Good Future culture for America that focuses on balanced technology, real life human interaction, real hugs, joy, intelligence, and truthful long lasting love? I'm just a kid and I want to make a new culture, I believe the kids are the future. Let's be aggressively nice but also intelligently think of creating a new Good Future culture for America! I'm just a college kid, but I believe we can change the world!
What i have noticed myself is that the more you cling to an emotional state, the worse it gets. Being attached to happiness is as unhealthy as being attached to sadness. The more you don't accept a certain feeling, the harmful it gets. You get stuck in the cycle of seeking the same state over and over again. That is at least, what i have learned in my relatively short life... By the way, thank you for all that high quality content. I dont wat h UA-cam as often as i used to but your channel gives me inspiration and a sense of belonging.
I work with people with actual severe mental illness, including depression and anxiety, and there is nothing cool or glamorous or unique about them or their lives. They actually lead very grey and uninteresting lives. The glamorization of mental illness in social media is such a strange preoccupation that kids are wasting their lives with. Focus on being at your very best as a person and you'll be far happier and a far more interesting person.
I'm a Gen Z kid, and I think adults are creating a mental health crisis *on purpose* for Gen Z, because companies profit of our generation's mental health issues. They siphon money using insurance, so there's probably a whole online team of people paid to post negative things online so more of Gen Z stays dependent on pharmaceuticals and therapy to "solve" their problems. I'm just a kid, but I'm trying to build a new Good Future culture for America. Imagine a future where people are so well balanced that there's no need for drugs, we don't even have therapists anymore, and you can just talk to intelligent, strong, joyful, long term friends who love you for free.
@DripSeason it’s very grim but that’s true. at my lowest point in high school i didn’t go to school for a month and i slept all day for weeks. I barely ate once a day and only left my room when nobody was home or everyone was sleeping. Even to this day, i’m much better but i find that i isolate myself as much as i can when i have nothing else to do.
@@avavavaa i can really empathise with the leaving your room only when nobody was home or it's late at night, because this was me in 2021 for around 4-6 months. i'd not shower for up to 7 days at times and would spend many nights gaming until sunrise or slightly before it, before falling asleep and waking up midday. i'd often only eat if food was placed outside my room door otherwise i'd be cooking in the middle of the night - between 12 and 2, when everyone would be asleep ofc. i deeply recall this one time it'd just hit 3am, and i still decided to come down and cook/make a HLT sandwich - this felt like a few days ago, but it's been 2 years now... i also gained around 10kg throughout 2021 as a result of hermitting in my room for months on end, and i wasnt the thinnest to begin with, so that took a big toll on my physical health. this peaked from april to september, before i was put onto SSRIs in october, and i gradually stepped out of my room everyday. but needless to say my mindset and mental health is still quite the same as then, or better or worse, im not sure. however at least ive come off of meds on my own, and im attending school everyday now - though not a mainstream one - and i dont hibernate in my locked room anymore. i also hate the fact i dont go out at all other than for school. if i do it'd be during or after school hours - we finish 1h earlier than main schools - away from crowds of people of my age group - which i dont want to go into detail about. i was only 13 at the time.
Exactly. Depression, anxiety, personality disorders make for bad bedfellows. Despite the inner turmoil tornado in my head; My life is uneventful, bland, dark and very, very lonely. People have completely distanced themselves from me. I don't speak people for weeks. Simply because they never answer my calls-not because I go incognito. This year I had a total of 7 incoming phone calls. Mostly from a company.😂 Never because a friend says: 'hey, wanna go do something?' I get two or three invitations to gatherings that always end up in me being cornered and separated from the rest. Making me feel awkward and when I mention it, I get the advice. Well maybe you shouldn't come. Do what makes you feel good" what makes me feel good is not being ignored and separated/excluded. But that's what keeps happening ever since I started therapy. So I end up alone. And the only conversations I have that have some meaning is with a professional that checks up on me every 6 months. Reminding me that I will never be employable, that I have to accept that I'm 'extremely ill' but not to worry. And then people wonder why I sometimes just feel absolutely miserable on top of all the diagnosed 'quirks'. People think that having a mental illness means that you are some kind of pixie fairy with a free spirit, wearing cat ears and do arts and crafts, whilst singing along to songs from the American Songbook. Mental health issues are BORING af. It's literally(lidderalllleeeee) actively finding a reason to just keep going. Because deep down, you have hope. Hope that someday, You will figure it out and just live.
Another thing that's very related is the idea that most/all creative people suffer from mental illness and that it drives their creativity. I've suffered from varying degrees of chronic depression for most of my life, and now that I'm in a phase where it's pretty mild, I'm actually finding it a lot easier to be more creative, and especially to finish projects. While creativity can certainly be an outlet for depressed feelings and such, it's so much easier to create when you actually have the energy and excitement to do so.
Yeah i have never really been able to do anything creative, then i started feeling worse and suddenly i understood things like art. I really hope that when i get motivation back i can do something with this new part of being alive. For me, it took suffering to gain understanding, but it takes healing to make something of it.
I have Dissociative identity disorder and it is nothing like what you see in the movies or on social media. It is making a mockery of something that people have to struggle with everyday.
@@ironeggsandham exactly. I had many seizures, self harm, suicide attempts etc and could not remember any of it. Fortunately I was able to overcome it. I hope for the same for the person you knew.
That's a very interesting topic. For like 2 years I was thinking that I was so "cool and different" for having social anxiety until I discovered that romanticizing illnesses makes your life unbearable, and decided to make a change. Now I'm much happier and I'm really sad when I constantly hear my friends say negative things :(
@@Brainrot811 Well, I wasn't diagnosed, but I was a shy kid pretty much my whole life. It just got worse when the coronavirus kicked in. I was panicking even when I just made eye contact with someone and socialising was hell, because I constantly thought that there is something "wrong" with me.
@@cottoncloudzzz I have had similar experience ,did nt play with kids my age growing up most of my childhood sucked because of my anxiety and it still sucks to this day, nothing changed and it’s hard for me to continue a conversation for more than 5 minutes and I cannot handle being around so many people.I even once cried in front of the whole class cause I was so overthinking to point where the teacher asked us some quiestion and I could nt answer so I simply cried .School life was horrible and is still horrible.Would nt wish it on someone.
@@Brainrot811 I know how it feels, trust me :( But please don't lose hope. I felt so hopeless and exhausted at some moments in my life, thought I was going crazy and I won't get out of this. And in the lowest point in my life I found God. I prayed, repented from my sins and now living feels, like, x10 times easier.. I still feel a little anxious, but now I know how to handle it and remember that I am just as important as everyone else around me :)
Loooool growing up in the 2000s when social anxiety was most definitely not a cool thing, it amuses me how it is cool now. I hid away but I KNEW deep inside what a detriment it was for the present and future since a very young age and as a 26 year old now, I say it does have a little kid thinking more seriously than the other airheads. It keeps people on the ground, like do people NOT want to look to the horizon and move forward in life? No, they don't! They resolved they're not gonna try and put all that energy in complaining. It is perpetually unending. This is far more dangerous than they realize. Like be real, WHAT is your goal in life? Life isn't about fairness or ease, it's about doing what's needed to get to where you need or want to be.
Sadness is addicting, I realized that and when I realize I’m falling into sadness I throw on a smile and fake laugh and it snaps me out of it. I recommend trying that, it may not work the first time soo train yourself as I did. It takes practice. Just like everything else. You got this!
I’m with you on this. When I’m feeling down I just act happy with my friends and I immediately feel so much better. It’s better to not let your feelings weigh you down.
Yeah, that's basically how I deal with my fake sadness. Myself knows that I'm incapable of maintaining a sad state because I show more happiness and good manners to the world... but yet I can't remove this feeling that... in the long term, I'm still indifferent of myself. I try to escape via gaming or other means to ignore myself. The "nice guy" act made me so insecure that I gave up chasing a relationship, and almost fell to the "incel thoughts." I am way better at 24 years old than before that's for sure but once in a while, those feelings arise in a short period of time when something similar is about to happen.
Indeed. It's so loosely used as a word too and it really annoys me as somebody who struggles terribly with it. There's a big difference between feeling sad and hating every waking moment of your life
I remember as a kid finding Spiderman quite relatable and also a few of his enemies like Doc Oc, the Lizard, and the Green Goblin. I saw these villians as a reflection of what dark path awaits me if I don't strive for resilience and Spiderman being an example of someone who was resilient in the face of adversity and never allowed his hardships to completely corrupt him.
Ok this is gonna sound crazy and don't tell anyone but... I'm spiderman. The forces of evil tech are trying to hurt the joy of my generation! We have to use good tech and wisdom to restore balance! Things may look dark now, but I KNOW that Gen Z will see, that a brilliant GOOD Future IS possible. I'm also a goofy kid like Aang, I may not look like much now, but I believe, we can save the world!
Being sad is an addiction🙂 Don't know why but once you start being so critical of yourself , it is very hard to recover.....Be soft on yourself ....forgive for your past blunders..... Life is short💙
Thank you for this video, people, mostly the younger ones must stop to think that mental health issues is "cool" or a "lifestyle". I suffer from bipolar disorder and ADHD for more than 20 years, i have to take meds everyday 3 times a day, i see a therapist every week, and i struggled with addictions, severe depressions, mania, a few times i was even weeks hospitalized for a few weeks. Its not fun or trendy, it's an illness- and people with these kind of issues have to seek for help. I can't blame teens for romantisize these type of feelings, its a phase. But if the phase goes on and on, and on, please search someting else than an echo chamber on social medias and comfort yourself in destructive behaviours. start a therapy instead, or talk about it with someone you trust in. thank you again Cole, it's an important message to share.
I’m 18 and I think people my age enjoy doing this is because they want to claim that they work hard or that they have been through tough times. They’ve had the easiest upbringing in human history but want to convince people they have been through the ringer without actually putting in the work. Everyone wants to be a fighter but not everyone wants to fight
I agree for sure, but this is like half or a quarter of the pie. Yes, a lot of teens, when given any conflict, small or large give the same reaction as it's the end of the world over the smallest inconvenience or to a certain point create their own problems because of what you proposed. Some people in their 20s still act like this sadly, of course we can't generally bias all teens in this way.
I relate a lot to the need to feel sad. I used to participate in a lot of self-destructive behavior (like watching p*rn and binge-eating) and I still do, even though I knew it will make me sad. Even as I tried to quit, there was something pulling me back into these behavior patterns. I now realize this was due to deep self-loathing. I felt the need to do things that made me feel sad almost as a way of punishing myself for not being who I wanted to be. I got better since then. Got a job, signed up to a gym, and now I'm way more productive than how I used to be when I was rotting at my house. As a direct result I also got better at avoiding bad habits. People don't realize that a lot of their surface problems can be traced to an inner sense of turmoil, and that the drive for suffering is likely your body's way of telling you there's something fundamentally wrong in how you live you life, despite your attempts to ignore it. The problem with destructive coping mechanisms (like getting addicted or immersing yourself in a fictional world and relating to its tragic characters) is that they don't address the core problems that cause you to want to be sad in the first place. Sadness is a catalyst for change, but when it's channeled into the same habits that caused you to be sad in the first place it creates an endless loop of suffering, which is not only dangerous, but can literally break a person. Before you aestheticize sadness, remember that it's only good if it leads to action. Take it as a sign that something is wrong and look for solutions. You're never sad for no reason
I'm going to leave a comment because this is very much how I understand my feelings. I get addicted to things that bring me to escapism instead of facing my problems. This puts a lot of things on my mind on how I should probably start my journey on recovery of my self and my own happiness. I can do this, it's hard, but its not impossible. And its not the safe way out that my mind wants to take.
I'm in a kind of boat to where I do certain things as a means to escape reality, got addicted to certain things, and obviously, makes the problem worse, but it's not like i did such things to myself for no reason i have many reasons (not an excuse for how i am but i still want to share my story at least), i have the same habits practically my whole life because of traumatic events in my life and other things such as a bad living environment, bad role models which led to bad habits, and getting bullied didn't help, i was hurt by people i didn't know, people i did know, and even more by family, but the only thing i find funny is that someone like me who could've went a different path, hadn't done anything to bad that it could kill me, but I'm no innocent man either, i got addicted to things that messed up my head, and having somewhat of a mental illness isn't helping, but all the now to do my best to change. Glad your doing better, I'm just getting started on the right track, but it's better than staying at where I one was, very glad I got to see someone shared their story/experience in all of this, you have a great day/night, bye bye
While many people will tune out just by the meer mention of it, coming back to Christianity is what helped me move past the romanticized depression phase of my life. Through going back, reading the Bible, and truly understanding the message and meaning I found an inner peace. This inner peace, or my “true Joy” stands strong even when I find myself depressed or drawn to destructive self indulgence. This True Joy is a devotion to a greater purpose beyond myself. That purpose is to live up to the standard of love and compassion set by Jesus Christ who walked amongst us. By virtue of being human I am an inherently sinful being, and will never truly reach the perfection set by Jesus, but by pursuing it through faith I can change both myself and the world around me for the better each and every day. Many people confuse the failures of the Church with the true teachings of God and it’s heartbreaking. The Church, while made to be a home for residing in and the study of God, is still ultimately man made. As such it is susceptible to the same sin and corruption inherent to humans. While I am only 25, and my journey to understanding God and the world around me is incomplete, having God’s love to protect my heart and mind is what allows me to wake up everyday hopeful and motivated.
I completely agree. Religion can boost morale, and can be a great coping mechanism, but many will always disregard it. There are a few reasons I'm sure as to why, but I'm pretty sure the main reason is related to this video. People don't like the way of life it presents. Religion often requires you to do good, to make efforts. People forget they don't have to be apart of a church with pressures and judgement, that they don't have to be the most perfect, but to simply be the best person they can be, and people hate this idea, especially teens who desire anything rebellious rather than what is good or may benefit them and others the most. Even if you have addiction religion encourages you to find a way out, but that requires effort and actual compassion and means you may lose a little bit of clout online or with your friends. Even if you suffer from depression or mental illness religion encourages you to get better and find ways to get healthier, and this is also unappealing for the same reason. I just hope people realize religion is beyond those that practice it, and even if you don't practice religion to at least pick up some of those healthy habits. It's no wonder why many people in the past have turned to religion, because it's what's benefitted and comforted them the most through hard times. I think the only way for people to acknowledge religion is for them to first acknowledge the issues with glamourizing mental illness, then we can have that discussion. This is not to say that religion is the best coping mechanism, but to just get some good life goals and values down is probably the best way to get in touch with your individuality and become the best you rather than relying on mental illness
Unfortunately, the reason people turn away from religion often has nothing to do with an unwillingness to heal, but because of abuses that come from religious institutions. Sometimes, it's also from homophobia and transphobia. I remain religious, but many of my queer friends left Christianity because of abuses they faced in the church. While I have never been hurt for being queer, especially now that I've found a safe church, I still faced abuses in a Catholic school for being autistic. With the current political climate it honestly feels like the abusers in churches trying to finish me off. Some find healing in religion, but to others it only brings suffering.
Thankyou for being one of the people that actually uses Christianity for good andnnot to harm and discriminate against others. I am glad u found something healing in it. 💗
as a teen i found myself surrounded by an online community of other teens, all of us lgbt, and going through a lot with families that hated us for who we are. we became an echo chamber of depression, sadness, support, and love. no one in that community was purposely posting their neuroses to harm others, it was to get support and understanding the only way we knew how, but it kept all of us down, all of us locked into that mindset. granted, we were teens in unsupportive homes, so until we could move out, there wasnt much room for us to get better. but we clung to that cycle of needing others validation and reassurance. now as a 25 year old, some of those friends ive lost to suicide, some i still talk to daily. but i think a lot about how we used our biggest traumas and pain to relate to each other and cope with what we went through. it wasnt healthy, and i know did damage to my mental health. but it gave me somewhere to belong and see others grow and win and lose and change and sadly die. theres no real point to this comment, other than to say that as much as i loved them all, i never again want to be surrounded only by those that see things the way i do and experience the same things i do.
As a gothy artist in her 30s, who has a history of questionable mental health, & an admitted tendency to romanticize horror, tragedy & similar sadnesses, I found this video wonderfully thoughtful, & though provoking.. I’ll definitely be thinking about this for the next couple weeks. Well done! 🖤🖤
I used to Romanticize Depression and had no clue why. it was just something I wanted to feel and rarely felt it. I spent like an hour listening to sad classical music and C418 one day and I felt sad and I sort of liked it. This video left me with a new understanding and was very useful.
Great video, Cole. I can relate to your experience. I mentioned this to my friend the other day -- I absolutely HATE seeing "🌈anxiety attacks!!" or "CEO of overthinking❤" or shits like that plastered all over shirts and other merchandises. I'm all for awareness but I can't stand the 'aestheticization' of real mental problems.
I agree, and you know, I think rich adults literally profit off us Gen Z kids when we feel bad. Why heal someone when you can profit off their emotional suffering? In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if they hire actors on the internet to comment and make us feel bad *on purpose* so that more children end up in a "mental health" center, and then these professionals use insurance to silently siphon money without people noticing. I'm trying to start a new Good Future culture for our generation, one with intelligence, comedy, real conversation, real friends, and real hugs. Imagine a future where people are so based that we don't even have therapists anymore, because now you can just talk to intelligent, strong, joyful, long term friends who love you for free.
Really appreciate your thoughts. And I’m so impressed by the last quote: “ It’s OK to be OK”. Yeah, we are not seeing the world by the way it is anymore. Our outlooks are being shaped by the media. Literally, we need to deeply connect with ourselves, fight for our problems, not just advertise our problems and suffer in the sufferings
I think that another reason why some people feel that is not ok to be ok is comparison: in my childhood i've heard a lot of parents, including mine, reminding to their children that there are people who live worse than them, therefore they should't complain about whatever they're complaining about and that their problems, unless they are really big, are not worth paying attention. So it creates a scenario where the only possibility they have (in their head) to get help or attention is to tell people that they have a really big problem. I think that a lot of people identifing with depressed movie characters are just the manifestation of that.
my friends are obsessed with romanticising mental illness. They self-diagnose based on nothing or tiktok or stereotypes and its super distressing for me because theres so much stigma and misrepresentation that affects me but it doesn't affect them :(. They. can brag about their adhd and their medication but look at me funny when I had to take my meds which I tried to not draw attention to (for a little bit I had to have them during a break between periods because the other tablet would've stopped taking effect) and I hated it so much I felt so uncomfortable. I literally used to hide any meds, my heatpack, felt guilty for my weighted blanket etc when people came over. I hate it, I hate the stigma its not aesthetic or poetic or cool its debilitating. I have no life, no control over any decisions, I'm constantly supervised, always at appointments or in arguments. And they want this? They think its quirky and have made jokes mental hospitals which they have NEVER experienced and it triggered me massively. Mental hospitals are not "grippy sock vacations" there is nothing fun about them, I'm traumatised from the hospital & mental health services. Because of this romanticisation it has really ramped up my obsessive thoughts I get multiple times a day that I'm faking and I'm invalid and not sick enough to meet my diagnoses because I'm faking. Its awful and distressing and I hate it so much:( its a constant loop and I need confirmation that I'm not faking and making people feel bad or doing the wrong thing. I want the romanticising to stop.
hearing people say that about mental hospitals makes me so mad. I stayed in a hospital psych ward for a week and it was the most miserable week of my life. I hated it so much. I remember coming across a meme on pinterest about finding love in the psych ward and all the comments were romanticizing finding and kissing some handsome unstable man and falling in love and all this other bullshit. it’s ridiculous and despicable behavior. No, you are not going to find love in a mental hospital so shut the f up and find some other trait to base your personality around.
@@kruggyy yes i know its so annoying and I'm so sorry:( I was in mine for only 3 weeks (it was meant to be 6-8) because It was a failed admission. Its not quirky or fun. I saw a comment saying something about how excited them and their friends were and they planned that if they ever went they would all share a room and decorate it? Its not fun, people are super insensitive.
@@annajones5057 i understand that people use jokes as a coping mechanism for their personal experience and im fine with that, but its about the people who have never been and don't need to go who shouldn't be making insensitive jokes as its something they've never personally experienced yknow?
I blame tiktok for the adhd medication shortage and dramatic increase of diagnoses. During covid, there were multiple telehealth online services that offered adhd testing. There are tons of stories of people getting a diagnosis in 20 min. That infuriated me, i highly HIGHLY doubt that 90% of people that were diagnosed during covid, actually had adhd. I hate my medication and the way it makes me feel, but at least i can be productive right? I cannot believe that people are so privileged that the wished they had a debilitating mental illness. If i could cure my adhd, social anxiety and depression, i would do it in an instant. I have always wished i was normal, and not a prisoner trapped in my own mind.
6th grade was easily my peak in life. Now I’m only a junior so I’m still have a life ahead of me and some childhood left. But every since Covid my social anxiety has skyrocketed. I was always introverted but I never had trouble taking to people and making friends. But now I haven’t made a friend since 7th grade. They way I made myself feel better whenever I was down or feeling depressed about my life or nostalgic for better times, I just throw my head phones on and go for a walk. It’s such a cheap easy and healthy way to relax and calm yourself while getting exercise and fresh air. It’s what really helped me get through tough and lonely times in my life.
One of the huge reason why this happened is because 90% of UA-camrs were saying they have depression, and promote therapy to literally anyone, which devalued mental illness and made it feel like it's not a big deal, or not that different than "being depressed"
I kind of agree with you, but I think it must be pointed out that the help of a therapist is useful even if not afflicted by a mental illness. Sometimes it just helps you make difficult decisions when you don't have enough experience, and people around you can't help you
@@LucaRicciComposer that's fine, untill you realize that there is a shortage of specialized therapists for the demand, and those therapists are making an absurd profit of the offer/demand ratio. There's a fine line between needing a life coach and a therapist. And me having to wait two weeks and paying 15% or my wage for 2h/month of sessions makes me wonder how I'm still alive
thank you for making this video. mental health is something i’ve always struggled with in life, even right now, where i consider myself fine right now, i can still recognize my problems here and there. i’m honestly bewildered that people are so willing to turn these things into “aesthetics” and make it into parts of their personality, when there’s people like me who have actively suffered for a majority of their life and DONT want to be seen as/known as the “depressed person.” im not trying to downplay anybody’s struggles, it’s just difficult to open up about stuff like this sometimes because i’m worried people will hear my experiences and say stuff like “oh you’re just saying that cuz it’s a trend or you want attention or you want to seem cool to your friends.” depression is seriously not cool at all, it fucking sucks. but that’s ok. that means we can get stronger because of how much more there is to us. stay safe and stay strong
this was the biggest thing i had to dismantle when i went into therapy, especially when tackling my eating disorder. media representation of mental illness can also fuel eds because of this idealized portrayal of a skinny, pale, conventionally attractive character suffering from mental illness. it almost perpetuates an idea that without the right “look,” you aren’t really sick.
i’m literally doing a project on media’s effect on perceptions on mental illnesses, and this helps a lot, thank you so much, and i agree with everything you’re saying.
Hey in case it's still not due, you should also check out Sydney Watson on this topic, Cole also referenced parts of her video. She provides a slightly different view, but also references actual medical studies and other materials that may also come handy to you! Good luck for your project
тоска Toska (Russian) Russian word roughly translated as “sadness, melancholia, lugubriousness.” According to Vladimir Nabokov: “No single word in English renders all the shades of toska. At its deepest and most painful, it is a sensation of great spiritual anguish, often without any specific cause.”
The worst I ever got was when I was 18. My grandfather had passed away from stage 4 lung cancer. He was like a father to me and losing him meant I lost something in me that contributed to my happiness. Up until I turned 21, I was so depressed that I can’t even remember if I had any moments in my life. There’s a whole 3 1/2 year gap in my memory. Around the same time, I started to notice how many people were going through the same thing, they had lost something just like I had. I became jealous of children who would sit on their grandfather’s lap, oblivious to how easily that can be taken away. I sat in my own grief and pain and considered… that… but I didn’t go through with it. I didn’t think he’d want me too. Then, we got some chicks, just these little fuzz balls of serotonin and innocence. I started sitting outside with them when they got big, telling them about how I felt, how sad I was and how I genuinely saw no way out. They would come up to me, sit with me, and just… listen. They offered no advice, no input. They just listened. For years I had been to therapy, hoping to get the help I needed. And I got it in the form of some little birds that costs $3 all together. They gave me unconditional love and support, and all they asked for in return was food, water and shelter.
Here are my thoughts on this topic: First, I think it is a two-sided sword to present mental illness on social media. It's good when you maybe reach those who can relate to you or that it becomes more socially acceptable. On the other hand, most of the things on social media is mostly staged or things getting romanticized and aestheticized. Second, it's also easier to create a "This is me - meme" that also can be seen as joke, rather than discussing problems with an medical expert.
I've been struggling with depression since I was about 12 years old and only now, 13 years later, after I got treatment and was diagnosed with Borderline, I am starting to "discover" who I am. Mental illness was casting a thick shadow on my personality, wishes and interests, especially in the younger years where youre supposed to develop your person. I agree with the sentiment that especially young teens suffering from mental illness are missing that vital part of self-development and resort to define themselves by their illness because its the only thing they are certain about. I definitely saw myself as different, not deserving to be happy, hopeless, destined to die young and such, because I was too young to understand that I could change my mental health for the better. Definitely an important topic, thanks for making this video
I'm part of Gen Z myself, and lucky enough to differentiate mental illness and normal feelings, I don't need therapy or anything, but somehow my parents make me go through therapy even though I don't need it, even the therapist said "He's just a normal teenager, he doesn't know what he wants yet, he's analytical and knows what he can do to make life easier, he's a smart kid" (I usually invent something just because I prefer it to be different like watch ring (a watch small enough to be used as a ring)) I can see my parents getting desperate, but I don't know why, my parents once said leaving me in a boarding school (Junior High) was their only regrets, but that's actually where grow as a person... My parents and I have different views and that make us fight a lot, argue a lot, and it made me feel lonely... I want to feel understood yet I don't understand myself that well... I want to know how to understand myself yet I don't know how other than reflecting...
You can go through your questions at the end in… therapy 😂 therapy can deff be for normal people!! No need to be suicidal or dangerous - even talk therapy is enough to truly help in ways reflecting on your own can’t. I thought I knew everything about me, especially after having done therapy for a total of like 5 years on and off. Guess what. I’ve been in regular therapy for about 6 months now again. Still constantly discovering new things. I’m shocked every session. Especially things my brain’s not ready to communicate with my conscious self 👀 Maybe try therapy again? Just ask your questions, and open yourself up to the idea that it can help clarify things about yourself ☺️
@@NFC37 He seems pretty self aware already. There's no reason to pressure someone into therapy who doesn't want it, except in cases where that person does have a severe problem.
@@NFC37 I've tried it once more, focusing on 'Understanding myself', I can explain why and how based on my current self, I wrote the comment approximately 1 month ago, therapy a few days ago, and the answers can actually be found in everyday life, through my parents (genes basically), the only thing I got from the therapist is wanting more knowledge can lead myself to self unawareness, other than that can be found in my everyday life.
Been saying this for a MINUTE now. So many depressing reels in my Instagram feed, I had to turn that stuff off because it was actually messing with my head for a while. I know a fair amount of people who are still deep in this web however and it's sad to witness how common this is becoming, it's almost scary.
This is what ive been thinking about. Those "memes" of the literally me characters i saw on instagram had a relatable side to them. During the times i felt alone i used social media to distract myself i saw the exact same situation i was in shown through the meme. I liked the video because i found it relatable and the algorithm did its job and started recommending me more and more of the literally me character posts. These posts never have a positive outlook so in a way you are essentially stuck in this never ending loop of sadness. My life got a lot better when i used the not interested option. I ended the cycle of the never ending relatable sadness and started looking for ways to improve myself. Ive now found some really good friends who help me improve myself and help me become a better person.
As someone with diagnosed depression, generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety and mild OCD, it's not fun. I often wish that I could just enjoy life I guess, that I could do basic stuff like doing a skin care routine or eating on a regular schedule or just study, I often envy peers that are able to maintain a workout schedule or aren't scared of taking the train. As I get older, I realize that mental illness is a cage I desperately want to break out of, because in the end there is more to life than just being sad and melancholic. It's okay to not be okay, but sometimes you just want to be happy.
The honesty this creator put into this video is so impressive. He is openly saying things that i see in the subconscious of so so many people today. What I find odd is how difficult it is for us to talk openly about this topictoo.
I was diagnosed with autism very recently, though I suspected it was a possibility for a couple years prior, and looking back on my life, there were a lot of this that fit. Although certainly it was nice to get a reason for my life experience (the mind abhors a vacuum), I was always somewhat skeptical of self diagnosis. A negative diagnosis wouldn't have invalidated me. I was (and still am) experiencing what I'm experiencing, I wanted to get at the best explanation. Granted that Autism is in a medical/behavioral sense a very broad brush diagnosis and that no professional evaluation is fool proof, I was a bit taken aback by the fervency of many in the autistic community to make being autistic so primary to their identity (and not just a important part) in opposition to neurotypicals. I did come late to the diagnosis, I was before I thought I was, so my way of understanding things has come into conflict with ideas in the current autism community even as I learn more. I'm aware that the effects of autism are a lot more severe in such things as overwhelm than I have to endure, so I try to moderate my skepticism with compassion and open ears. And surely being a disregarded section of the population is distressing. Nevertheless, I felt rather uncomfortable with "us-them" mentality I saw online, and feel that there must be a better and less bitter way.
Best option is to try to tell them what a world without their mental problems would be and what their lives could be without autism, it would still be good because they can still make friends even if without their defining feature
Another thing I’ve noticed is that when people are listening to another person battles/struggles, they try to downplay it by making it seem like they had harder & just disregard the person venting. It seems like everything is a challenge about who has it worst instead of being grateful for having it good. I was at fault of that in my teenage years.
I feel like the biggest significant point in my life was when someone who has been confident enough to help me through my entire depression journey saying "Thank you for holding on to hope." I think that's something that's really important to aim towards. Even if you're depressed, holding on to hope is the best thing you can do.
As a teenager who spent most of their teenage recovering from mental illness and can proudly say mostly succeeded, the brain comes up with these coping mechanisms as a reaction to trauma to dissociate from the intense pain you can't handle as a child, therefore it would go without saying that there is a temporary emotional benefit to mental illness. Every mental illness has its highs and lows, and I gotta tell ya the highs can be fucking fun. Like it can make you feel excited, full of drive, invincible, not caring at all what happens to you, it definitely has its honeymoon phase especially if you're doing it with other mentally ill people but after a while it gets very dark and heavy, all of the sudden all your friends are shells of who they used to be if they even make it out alive and you realize all your dreams you think about while getting high will never happen unless you stop getting high. And I'm not only talking about drugs, I'm talking about running away from your problems into any escape mechanism. And people saying "you never recover you just learn to live with it" isn't really motivating either but I am telling you it is not true, and people I have met are living proof along with myself.
I fell victim to this about 2 years ago, i could have gotten out of my depression far sooner than i did, but i didn't, because, i'm just going to admit it, it made me feel special. I wanted to "own" all the people who tried to motivate me, i wanted to show them that they were wrong, out of pure jealousy. I genuinely got angry when i saw people happy or living good lives. I was addicted to the misery, i did not want it to end. If anyone's reading this who's experiencing something similar, please, GET HELP. This is not something worth sacrificing your mental health for and i deeply regret the ways in which i mistreated myself now. If you're wondering, yes, i made a full recovery and i am a far happier person now, you can do it too.
I’m gonna keep it a stack, exercise is absolutely the reason I am no longer depressed. I started running for my school and cycling for a league. getting out and working myself to my limit is such a good way to distract yourself from depression. For me, the distraction further evolved into no longer having depression.
I believe this now. Just turn 18 not too long ago. When I was younger though, I had a really rough childhood. My mom was in a really dysfunctional relationship which made the household dysfunctional. It became my personality to be the older sister who was always there for my siblings. I was the good girl who never did wrong and was strong because I was smiling. When it ended at 13, I didn’t know who I was. I grew distant and different. I didn’t feel special. It took time before I felt okay. A part of me started to realize that I just wanted to be sad. Even now there are days I just want to be sad for no reason. It’s silly but weird. All I know is that it’s natural for it to happen, I just have to get used to feeling okay and not okay interchangeably.
It could be that your body is releasing all of these feeling from the past, that u were not able to express, cause u needed to be strong. That alos means it will get less over the years, if u just keep doing u and if r as kind to yourself as u can be. The fact that u r already that aware of it, means that u r already healing and doing an amazing Job. Respect.💓
I think it's actually kind of late, because that "depression mood aesthetic" was such a thing in 2010, and then he came back with 13 reason why, but today...not really
I think there needs to be a conversation about censoring certain words and terms in social media. The very fact that we censor words like suicide and replace them with seemingly less triggering words like unliving, as is the case here, somehow stigmatizes talking freely about the issue and brushes the problem further under the rug.
good luck bro! I’m sure with your catalogue of self-help and quality content, you can easily get people to subscribe who are interested in similar topics. You may never know but you could have saved millions of lives by now!
For anyone who’s struggling and feeling like they are sad for no reason here’s what helps me, personally. 1) Delete ALL social media for just a week. 2) Set a goal that’s not that hard to accomplish, (drink 2L of water per day for example) 3) Go for a walk, TRUST ME. (the best ones are in the nature) 4) Try new hobby (i bought a journal and i’m sketching in it each day and it DOESN’T MATTER HOW UGLY IT LOOKS AT LEAST U TRIED. U can also try cooking, trying out different outfits, drawing, singing…) 5) Do something that will sound silly at first. Lay in the grass, dance in ur room like you’re insane, sing even if u don’t know how, i know it sounds goofy but trust me. 6) Romanticize daily activities ( taking a shower, drinking tea, eating, listening to music, cleaning, reading..Add a little spice to everything you’re doing. 7) Be more mindful. Instead of being in “autopilot” mode, try being fully present while you’re doing stuff. Enjoy each food bite, feel each step you take, feel each thing you touch, pay attention to everything you hear. 8) Like he said, IT’S OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY AND IT’S OKAY TO BE OKAY. Stop thinking that it’s lame to be happy…
I have severe Schizophrenia. I don't understand why some people romanticize it and think it's a case of a buddy you get to talk to every second of every day. It literally caused me so much worry about when the voices would speak again. It's so sad that some people claim to have anxiety, depression, schizophrenia or a different mental illness all for the sake of TikTok views. I don't even think I'd wish schizophrenia would bite them in the butt. It's important to destigmatize mental health issues but we need to understand that it's important to call out those who are so clearly faking. You want views so badly, then do something funny. If we had the technology to tell people from 100 years ago about our current knowledge around mental illness and how there are some people who glorify it, they would be disgusted.
They think it's a buddy you get to talk to all day in part because of depictions in movies like "A Beautiful Mind" and more recently "Words on Bathroom Walls" which basically equate it to having imaginary friends instead of being tormented and persecuted by perceived entities. Too many people base their reality off of what they see in the media. Few seem able to separate education from entertainment.
Yeah, where we've gone wrong is in forgetting WHY mental illness should be destigmatized. It should be destigmatized so that mentally ill people can get help, and don't have the additional burden of being mistreated by others. Not so that it's now seen as cool to have it.
This is why the song "Art School Wannabe" by Sorority Noise it's one of my favorite songs ever. I fell into this liking in sadness at some point as well, "maybe I'm too scared to admit that I might not be as dark as I think, maybe I'm not the person that I never wanted to be" were the lines that made think about what I was feeling really, I kinda cringed on myself after realizing how fake and even narcissistic I sounded sometimes. I still felt sad, but it was clear that I tried it to sound worse than it actually was, saying I had a lot of problems, but never actually explaining them out loud to close people because deep down, I knew I didn't actually wanted to solve them.
2:22 great example is Polish poet Jan Kochanowski and his “Laments”- poems dedicated to his 2 years old daughter after she died Also Polish movie ,,Dzień Świra” from 2002 is a great representation of OCD and many other issues
There’s nothing more dangerous than starting to think you’re “special” because you have such a tragic life. I see many people starts believing they are special and misunderstood because they feel depressed or some other disorder….well, I got out of my depression and I think it’s possible to live a happier fulfilling life…
I used to think that sad, tragic tales made for the best types of stories. Then I watched K-On and realized that some stories don’t even need to be serialized to be really well done. It’s okay to feel sad, but just as important it’s okay to feel happy
Thank you for making a video on this, spreads a lot more awareness. Honestly Im so glad I never fell into the "depression is cool" trap. I can see why others would, but I just never liked the empty void feeling sadness gave me. Times where I felt it, I wanted to get rid of it and feel normal again as fast as I could. I'd watch youtube, movies and anything to return to the feeling of normalcy. I do hope this romanticization stops or at the very least lessens over time, cuz its bringing more harm than good.
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That last bit "it's okay to be okay" is what I feel most guilty about. I am pretty much over it now, but there was a time I felt guilty because I didn't have some quirk or illness, that I was suppose to have a easy straight forward life. I always feel like I'm taking things for granted because of how fortunate I am. So when I feel sad I always think someone has it worse and I shouldn't feel this sad over my life that is so "easy". Actively reminding myself everyone is on a different time line and everyone has their own things to deal with while also being grateful of the life I have the way it is.
Hey Cole, This was a great video. I knew that depression was a widespread issue. I never thought that was possible to become addicted to the feeling of being depressed. Very insightful video that gives very good examples and insights into how depression can become so ingrained into one’s personality that the very thought of not being depressed can be scary.
Thank you for speaking out! I’ve noticed that over the past few year and I think it’s so weird. Mental illnesses and disorders are not something to brag about.
From 4th grade to 8th, I was one of those kids who romanticized deppression, mental illness, and self harm. During lunch I would grab a straw with a pointy end and “cut myself” (there was never blood) until a friend told a teacher. I told my sister I wanted to kill myself and gave my mother a scare. I often would draw myself with long messy hair and a black hoodie. I wasn’t sad, my life was definitely not amazing (my parents fought like all the time) but I was by no means depressed or scuicidal. Then came quarantine and then, I was actually depressed. I realized I wasted the happiest and most innocent time of my life pretending to be in pain. I’m very upset with myself for that, I tried to do bette but then other stuff happened and I’ve gotten worse in different areas. I wish I never went through that, I would probably be a better person lole but I’ll figure it out.
It's very brave of you to share your story, thank you. I'm doing a topic similar to this on my HPQ (I'm 14) and I was wondering if I had permission to use your story? If I do, would it be alright if I asked you a few questions?
@woomynoomy_ Thank you! If you don't want to answer any of my questions, feel free to ignore them btw. You say that this behaviour started 3-4 years before quarantine, meaning it was in 2016-2017 that this all started. Were you particularly active in the creepypasta or Gacha Life communities at the time? Which communities were you a part of and interacting with at the time this behaviour began? Or do you think it started due to someone in your in-person life? (Thank you again for taking your time to do this, I really appreciate it)
I'm pretty inspired by characters like Captain America. I may have started confused and feeling weak. But after growing and taking on opportunities, I feel inspired to help others and be their hero.
What I’ve noticed is that the more things we do to push ourselves to grow, the less we will feel the depression… I used to suffer with anxiety and depression and now I am a totally different person!! And I attribute that to doing difficult things 🔥🙏😁
@@grandperspective1167 yup i think that he never had depression,it doesn't matter if you are exercing,getting good grades or working you Will still feel bad because depression affects your Brain,it ruins your perception and your mind doesn't shut up
@@isidorodaviddoro1920 yup, I've been hospitalized for it. Pple kill me suggesting DOING HARD things as a solution. It's tone deaf, a symptom of REAL CLINICAL depression is the inability to do the EASIEST OF THINGS like sit up in bed to eat!!! get out the bed to urinate etc
I’m 47yo and I’ve lived with diagnosed depression,OCD and anxiety attacks since my earliest memories. I remember very clearly being 8 or 9 and looking out the window to see friends playing and had a wave of crushing heaviness come over me. I have no trauma, no explainable reason for having this my entire life other than biological. My great grandfather, grandfather, and father all had/have it. What I absolutely love is that everyone of us with it never stopped from succeeding. The first two were both engineers in the bio chemistry field and my father is a retired attorney/judge. And my hero. I’ve got a successful career, own two homes, etc but still this crushing heaviness comes around at times. Other times it’s a dull roar in my being. At this age I’ve realized I may never beat, 99% of Internet programs are garbage and medication does help me. I’ve also realized to be compassionate to every single person I meet. Even if I do not care for them. This is life, this is a challenge I inherited but it will not stop me.
As someone who's had depression and social anxiety since a kid (im now 40) i would never wish it upon anyone, and there's never been a time in my life i would romanticise it, I guess the plus to all this is they brought it all to mainstream attention alot more, so in a way im thankful for that, because before there was no help and people like me were seen as weird even by your own family members (at least that's how i grew up with it) the struggle now is getting a diagnosis for ADHD as a adult in the UK, Its a complete nightmare
I'm an existential philosopher and writer, i find deep inspirations in my deep sadness sometimes... Writing about it and sharing it even helps me think about it more deeply. Sometimes my hand will move on it's own, writing how i feel without thought... I don't use short form content apps, the most i see is on UA-cam, i mostly try to avoid it to be honest... I felt ashamed of being alive for a long time, but even in my suffering, i decided to want to live. Writer/philosopher/extremely deep thinker. Thank you for this love, its helped me think more deeply. Peace hun
I dont think its so much a romanticization but more so a coping mechanism through humor, in my friend group, its not the easiest to be super open about these things, so being able to use memes like these can help, and give us easier opportunities to talk about our issues in a light hearted sense through a mutual interest, obviously there are parts of the internet of people who just self diagnose and really need to clinge onto any little thing to feel special or unique to make up for their lack of a personality, but for me and my experiences its never been about glorifying mental illness more so just the new generations technique with coping and relating to eachother with mental illness
It's a popular coping mechanism nowadays (for people who actually dtruggle with mental illness) I think because it's been a taboo-topic for centuries, we're now unraveling these layers of mental suffering and even romanticize (finding the beauty in) it before we get to an age where mental health gets addressed in a healthy way.
This is the first Comment I have written in over 7 Years. But I really have to do it because I couldn't appreciate this clear structured, rational and empathetic Video more and hope more people (like me), who were vulnerable for these kind of thoughts, can reflect on their own development into a full grown person, which is aware of their problems and capabilities to get through them. As I am in my 20s now I'm slowly losing the memory of me struggling as a teenager with totaly human feelings. But it's nice to reflect and appreciate who I am today and who I was. Great Work & much love from Germany🖤
as someone who would commit to those “literally me” stuff I always had some interest in it and I’m so glad I now know. I think you should’ve also noted about the rise of it mostly increasing because of the pandemic. With the isolation happening it is important to note how some have been reported to be more depressed in life even as of the aftermath. Some even miss being in the pandemic despite how grueling it was which could also signify how we praise with being unhealthy and sad. Sorry for my grammar, English isn’t my first language.
People "wanting" to be sad is a bit of a stretch. I believe people wanting to feel those feelings of self pity, wallowing in helplessness and accepting nihilism and that sadness is an integral part of your life is the idea the public likes to follow. This is a form of abandoning responsibility to some extent, of pleasurable peace one can achieve, also it is a form of coping mechanism (or escapism) from sadness. Another thing is that society reinforces the sadness in you. If you show your feelings and you happen to be sad, you might not get the response you wished for, instead you become the person who is "the downer" or the one who ruins the vibe. If you are in a society that prefers toxic positivity over self-expression, then it is normal to want to be accepted for the ugly feeling of sadness in a community. Overall sadness in itself is not something anyone would want. It is biologically made to make us not feel well. Everything else that comes with "being the sad person" is the factor that makes this all so popular.
The stigma around mental illness was still present, although shrinking, when I was a teenager. My school environment was underequipped to address this sort of problem with the nuance it needed. I was pretty lucky to have some teachers who understood and encouraged me to pursue hobbies and interests that added much needed dimension to my life.
Was medicated for 20 years and all of my doctors told me I would never not be depressed. Not depressed anymore, just living life. Once I stopped identifying as a depressed person and made the conscious choice to work towards growth the change was quick and permanent. People need support, not to be told who they are.
As a 14 years old kid, I can say that i definitely relate to this. Fortunately, my personality is very focused on uniqueness, which means that I tend to reject most trends (so I mostly uneffected by "Literally me" mental ilness characters. Unfortunately that drives me away from people a lot of the times, which nearly drove me to depression multiple times. Fortunately, I either tend to go towards Stoic "Literally me" characters (which I've been trying to avoid recently after discovering how bad it is to supress my feelings) or characters focused on resolving their problems, and dealing with their shitty self/ mental ilnesses (an exemple is Rudeus from Mushoku Tensei). Also thanks for bringing this video to us, as your videos of Gen Z have really helped me realize and put into words the ideas I belive in (for those who are looking for the same thing I recommand Aperture)
As someone who used to identify with mentally unwell characters and seeing how it affected me negatively, I will say that identifying more with heroic characters like Batman has helped me immensely because he's a character who used his trauma to make himself into a unstoppable beast of a man.
@@aaronadame418 For me Job from the bible resonates the most when it comes to struggles. He never let his urges control him and didn't ignore and push away his grief either. He addressed it in a mature way.
Forget about 'being unique' because what does that even mean? Every single person is unique and special in their own way actually, not just you. Everyone has something to offer and something interesting to contribute and learn from. At the same time every single person is also ordinary and the same, meaning we all need to eat, go to the toilet, make money to live, have people in our lives who love and support us, to spend time doing things we love, etc. Just focus on being yourself and the best version of you that you can be.
@Planetarium What does becoming the best version of yourself mean to you? Sit down and reflect on what you really want in life and the kind of person you want to become. What do you really want to achieve? What do you see as your purpose and mission in life? What means most to you in life and what fulfils you? Figure these things out then make it your life's purpose to make it happen - make them into goals and take small steps towards making the goals a reality by taking action every day. You have to be the one who gives your life purpose and meaning. A couple of basics to get you started - which are beneficial for everyone - is working towards your dream career and looking after your body with exercise, good nutrition, good sleep, and meditation. Every positive thing you do for yourself supports every other positive thing you do for yourself. It's a slow process initially but the more consistent action you take towards your goals day by day over the months and years the more it becomes an ingrained habit and snowballs. Always take the action that you know you need to do each day, whether you feel like it or not. Eventually all the hard work pays off.
Brilliant, brilliant video. I feel like I fight the romanticised view of anxiety and depression. At work, IRL the lot. I’m just gonna send everyone your video. Well done buddy ❤
What do you think? Anything I left out or missed?
Don’t think so
@A S H same dude
As someone that struggles with mental issues, I agree with you people shouldn't idolise characters and should definitely not try to act like the person because you just end up becoming a self righteous prick.
There a lot of people who have severe mental health problems who need help. Then there are people who hit a rough patch of mental health and aren’t strong to overcome it, and they ruin it for people with mental illness.
I think this video and the content in it are important to get listened to either way if you really have any sort of mental issues or not
I’ve fallen into the “depression is cool” trap myself. I feel like it’s more comfortable to make depression my identity, then to actively work to become someone who is no longer depressed
Your level of self awareness is a huge advantage that most people do not have. Can’t fix a problem we don’t see.
@@katieandnick4113 i am pretty sure deep down everyone understands the problem.
@@katieandnick4113 intellect also plays a huge role along with influence and environment.
What made me "depressed" is not depression, but constant stream of "fu€k you"s from life, I get blessed by a miracle only for next day to take away my job and put me into this anexiety riden spiral of despair, when I wanted to get into college I had job, I got accepted and now when I need money more than ever job just pulled a rug under me and disapeared, whole year I have been suffering with all of this "following my dream" thing, like I am FULL OF PASSION AND DRIVE! Give me ANY job and I will be your BEST SOLDIER for ANY pay, but I am constantly "co€k blocked" from even getting a chance to fight and earn my college education, being poor su€ks, but WHY I am not even given a FAIR CHANCE to EARN my way out of poverty!? Where is God!?
what a loser, are you seriously intentionally making yourself depressed? I have good reasons to be depressed so when I see weirdos like you making a personality out of it I feel sick, I would say get help but i don't trust therapy, get god👍
We need to start romanticizing resilience more.
Vouch
@@ColeHastings I myself try to do it everyday to the people around me and it has led people around me to be somewhat more resilient, I also will one day make comic books featuring very resilient characters. I'm working on my first one right now.
@@anthonyscheibmeir2444 I wish you the best with that!!
Fuck it we ball
Yeah. Be supportive and build each other up instead of commiserating about how bad it can get.
I think we are in a weird transition period where mental health issues are being de stigmatized and discussed, but our institutions haven’t quite caught up yet. Politicians love to say that we need better mental health but don’t actually back it up with funding for wider access to these services. The cost and barriers to getting a good therapist/psychiatrist are still quite high for many people. Not to mention that something that needs appointments is really hard for someone with dysfunction 😅
Good point
Want to be evaluated for ADHD and Depression? Here, fill out 10 pages of forms just to get paired with someone with less than a year of experience. And make 10 calls to your insurance.
At least Cigna has 15 minute calls with their therapists for free. Phone doesn't feel the same though.
Sticking with ANYTHING is my main psychiatric problem. The IRONY.. ur right
Our parents had one job.
@Drip or Drown Same.
Another problem with the kids doing this is that if you _do_ have serious problems, but you also happen to look a bit young, now certain people won't believe you because they think you're just following a trend. Can make it harder to get help.
It's also just super weird to me as someone who grew up back when the trend was "YOU CAN'T LABEL ME!!" lol.
Yea I was sort of thinking this because I felt like another thing was wrong with the whole thing. Thanks for putting it into words for me.
Exactly my problem. I live in California and it's an absolute nightmare talking to people because of it.
Same here. I was born with OCD that has gone on for generations and it took me 14 years to get a good therapist that figured out what was wrong (even though it was extremely obvious).
As a young adult who grew up when flaunting what totally cool and quirky flavor of mental illness you had was cool, trying to get a therapist who actually believes you is a nightmare. Out of the four therapists I've seen in my life, only two of them seemed to actually believe that I had problems and helped me with them.
@@TheFelixversenot every therapist is gonna be the right match for you. That’s why a lot of people with issues these days don’t wanna go through the process of getting one because it takes patients
Nice summarization "it's ok to not be okay, but it's also okay to be okay"
straightforward but right on point. Interesting video Cole, appreciate you speaking out on this, and opening my eyes yet again to these problems.
@Thomas B facts😂
*_It's ok to not be ok_*
Makes no sense, not being OK is obviously not OK and should be fixed
@@Aderin.
You're right, but it's more about not blaming the person for not feeling really right.
"It's okay to not be okay" doesn't mean it's okay to bask in your depression/misery, which you shouldn't do, but rather that it's not your fault if you're not feeling okay.
At least, that's how I interpret it and I totally agree with you, if you're not okay, seek for help!
@@krutipie6550 I get what you mean
@@Arifumiiim a banana, i lied, i wasnt a pizza 😞
As someone that struggles with actual mental issues, I never understood why people wanted to identify so badly with a problem to the point of making it a defining label, I found it disgusting and sad because when I found out I had these problems I hate that I had them and I do not want them the point I even denied that I had a problem in the first place.
its cope, romanticising mental illness akes them feel special. and its nice to know other people going through something similar. at the end of the day, most of it is just people who are depressed going online so they can be depressed together which doesnt really solve anything, it only fuels it imo at least thats what it did to me.
Exactly if those people had depression and anxiety or ocd they would realize that there is nothing beautiful about them ONLY suffering every day cause your mind works on it's own
@Drip or Drown why are you hiding come on let's play some games, also you can teach me how to drip instead of drown.
@Drip or Drown I've been to one that has been enlisted to one
@Drip or Drown I have visited one but I've never been instituted in one.
I think you covered basically everything. Something you might have missed, however, is that there is a certain ”enjoyment” in being depressed or having a problem. Why? Because it gives you an excuse. An excuse to be lazy, to rest, and to not make something of yourself. It is no longer ”your fault” since you are depressed, which can be comforting.
Because if you are totally well and happy, you have no real excuse to fail.
I agree! And i believe, that could be why theres so many people ‘self diagnosing’ in this era. You get nothing but a label for your “behaviors”. no medication or help from psychiatrists. Theres really nothing to gain by self diagnosing urself other than attention.
This rings so true with me. Life has always been hard for me. I take more effort to be on the same level as people around me in terms of productivity, sociability, &c. I know I have to, but it's hard to force myself to be like that without making myself sick of it and want to avoid it even more. I've talked about this to others, and they said “it's all just your excuse”, “it's all your fault”, “your issues aren't real”, &c. The moral lesson is to suck it up.
It hurts, but my struggles aren't real and it's my fault for not trying harder. Sometimes I wished I was severely disabled. It's the only way my struggles become real and I'm excused for not forcing myself. But I'm aware that being severely disabled hurts even more, and it's not like disabled people have excuse to rest and be lazy despite all their suffering.
It's just an excuse to demand special treatment. Just doing it from a place of pity rather than a place of privilege. In the end it's the same goal: Trying to get a place of privilege above other people.
It's not "I'm better than you and I deserve special treatment"... It's "I have I worse than you and I deserve special treatment"...
I think it's also cuz they want to feel worse than their friends. They get jealous because they don't have as many problems as them and want to show that they struggle too even though all they do is play on their phone
I’m glad to say that didn’t happen to me. When I got depressed after being laid off, I had no interest in hobbies I used to enjoy, and it made me very sad. I wanted to read, write, and watch movies, like I used to, but just couldn’t. I hated that I had no motivation to get out of bed, which may have contributed to my harmful thoughts. I’m glad to say that I am now on an antidepressant and back to my old self. Using depression as an excuse is reprehensible. It really trivializes such a harmful mental illness.
As a teenager, this video is a huge reality check for me. Thanks.
Hey! I'm young too, but I believe... things are about to get REAL good! I want to make a Good Future culture to escape this sadness, and I hope one day the Good Future culture can become a real thing! I'll keep making videos to give people hope, and one day we can fix this! A new culture focused on real love, real life friends, and real hugs. Whoever reads this, I hope you have a super day!
As an INDIAN I can confirm movies impact the minds of the people especially on the not so educated ones for example.
The Bollywood movies shows that hero first stare a girl than the girl repulsed by that so he don’t care and continue to creep her then the girl finally realise how much the hero loves her and marry him.
So much of boys influence by it and creep the girls despite being rejected.
Grow up ! this the problem with cancel culture make something of ya life ! Here for a short time not a long time.
i can totally agree with you , and i feel good knowing that i never did anything like that anyone even a girl i had a crush for almost 5 years :)
@@Rookies103 What?
Yes, most especially people growing up watching TV can't distinguish it from reality
@@someperson9998 I really felt that 'what?'
Very spot on. What annoys me the most is when people display (very often self-diagnosed) mental illnesses and disorders like badges of honor. A lot of people want to feel special, and there is a sort of competition for being the saddest, the sickest, the one with more quirks, and have a big collection of labels. And I think this behaviour helps no one.
Why do people think having constant suicidal thoughts is a badge or jonor
@@anidiot4243 They don't, it's just a cheap way to get attention as well as an excuse for not meeting society's expectations.
@@anidiot4243 cause their addicted to attention. Self diagnosing is useless and you don’t get any help from professionals when doing so.
@@anidiot4243 because they want to be quirky and/or garner attention through pity
@@anidiot4243 some use it to justify their narcissistic behavior. I encountered some people like that online and I went as far as to accuse them as faking their feelings to be like that.
This is why I love Kentaro Miura's Berserk. Unlike many stories that I'd watched and read over the years where suffering, apathy, violence and rage were glorified, Berserk has shown how ugly it can get when being consumed by one's inner darkness. The best moments of the story were always those where the main characters showed signs of healing and compassion. I can't recommend Berserk enough.
I still need to actually watch it for me that's Bojack horseman
Really liked this comment, I love Berserk so much.
I feel like I could click on a Mario kart Speedrun and see a berserk recommendation. Shits everywhere
@@thrpotatoasfgfejfidieiidkr7071 Because it's just that good
@@nineinchthread Better read it, the original anime cover only the first arc and the second generally looks very bad and doesn't do justice to the art style.
What I think a major reason for all of these teens faking these illnesses (from a teen perspective) is that so many of today’s teens really just get their actual personality traits and passions that they genuinely enjoy shoved down from society, I know they have the typical quotes like “no one understands me” or “my problems are mine to deal with” and I understand that, and that’s a totally normal part of adolescent growth, but the people of today’s world and the years before treated that as a bad thing, instead of telling the teens it’s a normal process and that they’re feelings and passions still matter, they get slandered for their mistakes and people treat it like their voice barely matters, instead of letting them learn from their mistakes in a healthy way, which I feel like is why so many of today’s teens turn to mental illnesses, because they feel like that’s the only way to get people to notice and value them, I’m not trying to put the blame on one group or justify my own age group, but teens are still humans, they’re at a very dangerous place between adulthood and childhood, and they still don’t fully grasp their emotions, but that’s not something they should be criticized for…, and just because a teen doesn’t have a kind of mental illness, doesn’t mean they don’t have their own problems.
Everyone has problems what shouldn't try and take on something that's not you because you can feel some form of connection, for example, I sympathise with cripple people but I'm not going to try and paralyse myself from the waist down.
Yeah, I’m saying it’s good to sympathize with people, but don’t stoop to their level.
Yea man you kinda just described me rn. I’m 18 and i guess ‘depressed’ my fam def doesn’t just let me grow and make mistakes instead i feel like i’m walking a tightrope of a blueprint of life to walk on to make everyone and myself satisfied. No drugs, no partying, College and Work. I get it, it’s the real world but fuck. I just think in general everyone nowadays is lonelier due to comparison from social media. Social media is crazy they’ll be someone looking at someone account and cry wondering why they’re life can’t be like that meanwhile the person they’re looking at is more depressed then them
Finally someone who has some empathy
Great point. Perhaps we should treat human beings more like humans so they don't seek shelter in illnesses for any attention at all.
Someone send this to my ex.
I started down my own mental/emotional healing journey and at a certain point, I had far surpassed him and he was holding me back. I begged him to try, to get on the path too, and he did, but it was all lip service. He didn't actually want to heal. He was way more committed to his depression than he ever was to me.
That was the worst breakup I've ever been through, but I'm thriving now. I hope he figures his shit out.
Fucking same!!!! Happy for you tho!
I’m going through this at the moment.
same with my ex but she said that love is staying with the other person at their lowest and continued feeling and saying to me and everybody she and i knew that i didnt love her...im trying to find my path again but its hard
I don’t know exactly what you and your ex have been through but, Depression is different for everyone. Ive grown up with a chronically depressed mother and it can be impossible to treat it. Shes tried many different medications over the years and found nothing… she has other serious mental illnesses but,
depression can be like that for many others. And negative childhood experiences can lead to frequent depressive episodes in adulthood. It goes sooo much deeper, but its not the same for everyone.
@@tortelinis1141 Similar thing happened to me. She gave lip service to it, but there was no real progress, and everyone said "if you love her you'll wait" so I guess I didn't love her. But I did. Or at least try.
I found myself in this rut years ago. Deleting my social media accounts 2 years ago was the best decision I ever made. No validation for my shitty feelings and it really kept me out of my head. Its the best antidote
Seconded.
Deleting F*cebook and Dumblr objectively improved my life.
you’re using UA-cam right now
Social media is by far the worst for mental health and it’s been proven too. It’s not healthy to be going through a wide spectrum of emotions in seconds. It makes you lose a grip on how to control your emotions whenever things happen to u in the outside world
@@henry7486 not the same
perfect timing Cole, I'm making a short film on mental health and have been so frustrated over the past few years on the romanticisation of depression and mental health as someone who's been through it bad and got out of it... thanks for making a whole video essay on this!
Thanks for watching the vid. Hope your short film turns out well
Ey yo, what if we create a new Good Future culture for America that focuses on balanced technology, real life human interaction, real hugs, joy, intelligence, and truthful long lasting love? I'm just a kid and I want to make a new culture, I believe the kids are the future. Let's be aggressively nice but also intelligently think of creating a new Good Future culture for America! I'm just a college kid, but I believe we can change the world!
What i have noticed myself is that the more you cling to an emotional state, the worse it gets. Being attached to happiness is as unhealthy as being attached to sadness. The more you don't accept a certain feeling, the harmful it gets. You get stuck in the cycle of seeking the same state over and over again. That is at least, what i have learned in my relatively short life...
By the way, thank you for all that high quality content. I dont wat h UA-cam as often as i used to but your channel gives me inspiration and a sense of belonging.
I work with people with actual severe mental illness, including depression and anxiety, and there is nothing cool or glamorous or unique about them or their lives. They actually lead very grey and uninteresting lives. The glamorization of mental illness in social media is such a strange preoccupation that kids are wasting their lives with. Focus on being at your very best as a person and you'll be far happier and a far more interesting person.
I'm a Gen Z kid, and I think adults are creating a mental health crisis *on purpose* for Gen Z, because companies profit of our generation's mental health issues. They siphon money using insurance, so there's probably a whole online team of people paid to post negative things online so more of Gen Z stays dependent on pharmaceuticals and therapy to "solve" their problems. I'm just a kid, but I'm trying to build a new Good Future culture for America.
Imagine a future where people are so well balanced that there's no need for drugs, we don't even have therapists anymore, and you can just talk to intelligent, strong, joyful, long term friends who love you for free.
@DripSeason it’s very grim but that’s true. at my lowest point in high school i didn’t go to school for a month and i slept all day for weeks. I barely ate once a day and only left my room when nobody was home or everyone was sleeping. Even to this day, i’m much better but i find that i isolate myself as much as i can when i have nothing else to do.
@@avavavaa i can really empathise with the leaving your room only when nobody was home or it's late at night, because this was me in 2021 for around 4-6 months. i'd not shower for up to 7 days at times and would spend many nights gaming until sunrise or slightly before it, before falling asleep and waking up midday. i'd often only eat if food was placed outside my room door otherwise i'd be cooking in the middle of the night - between 12 and 2, when everyone would be asleep ofc. i deeply recall this one time it'd just hit 3am, and i still decided to come down and cook/make a HLT sandwich - this felt like a few days ago, but it's been 2 years now... i also gained around 10kg throughout 2021 as a result of hermitting in my room for months on end, and i wasnt the thinnest to begin with, so that took a big toll on my physical health. this peaked from april to september, before i was put onto SSRIs in october, and i gradually stepped out of my room everyday.
but needless to say my mindset and mental health is still quite the same as then, or better or worse, im not sure. however at least ive come off of meds on my own, and im attending school everyday now - though not a mainstream one - and i dont hibernate in my locked room anymore. i also hate the fact i dont go out at all other than for school. if i do it'd be during or after school hours - we finish 1h earlier than main schools - away from crowds of people of my age group - which i dont want to go into detail about.
i was only 13 at the time.
Exactly. Depression, anxiety, personality disorders make for bad bedfellows. Despite the inner turmoil tornado in my head; My life is uneventful, bland, dark and very, very lonely. People have completely distanced themselves from me. I don't speak people for weeks. Simply because they never answer my calls-not because I go incognito. This year I had a total of 7 incoming phone calls. Mostly from a company.😂 Never because a friend says: 'hey, wanna go do something?' I get two or three invitations to gatherings that always end up in me being cornered and separated from the rest. Making me feel awkward and when I mention it, I get the advice. Well maybe you shouldn't come. Do what makes you feel good" what makes me feel good is not being ignored and separated/excluded. But that's what keeps happening ever since I started therapy. So I end up alone. And the only conversations I have that have some meaning is with a professional that checks up on me every 6 months. Reminding me that I will never be employable, that I have to accept that I'm 'extremely ill' but not to worry.
And then people wonder why I sometimes just feel absolutely miserable on top of all the diagnosed 'quirks'. People think that having a mental illness means that you are some kind of pixie fairy with a free spirit, wearing cat ears and do arts and crafts, whilst singing along to songs from the American Songbook.
Mental health issues are BORING af. It's literally(lidderalllleeeee) actively finding a reason to just keep going. Because deep down, you have hope. Hope that someday, You will figure it out and just live.
Another thing that's very related is the idea that most/all creative people suffer from mental illness and that it drives their creativity. I've suffered from varying degrees of chronic depression for most of my life, and now that I'm in a phase where it's pretty mild, I'm actually finding it a lot easier to be more creative, and especially to finish projects. While creativity can certainly be an outlet for depressed feelings and such, it's so much easier to create when you actually have the energy and excitement to do so.
David Lynch said it best. The more you're suffering, the less you feel like creating.
Yeah i have never really been able to do anything creative, then i started feeling worse and suddenly i understood things like art. I really hope that when i get motivation back i can do something with this new part of being alive. For me, it took suffering to gain understanding, but it takes healing to make something of it.
I have Dissociative identity disorder and it is nothing like what you see in the movies or on social media. It is making a mockery of something that people have to struggle with everyday.
The "besties with my alters" makes me feel like vomiting.
@@jacobstevens7046 i hate "mentally ill" people on social media. like i feel like FOR ME it makes us genuinely people struggling LOOK BAD
Oh jesus im sorry to hear that :( hope youre doing well
@@ironeggsandham exactly. I had many seizures, self harm, suicide attempts etc and could not remember any of it. Fortunately I was able to overcome it. I hope for the same for the person you knew.
That's a very interesting topic. For like 2 years I was thinking that I was so "cool and different" for having social anxiety until I discovered that romanticizing illnesses makes your life unbearable, and decided to make a change. Now I'm much happier and I'm really sad when I constantly hear my friends say negative things :(
Were you diagnosed and what were the sings of social anxiety
@@Brainrot811 Well, I wasn't diagnosed, but I was a shy kid pretty much my whole life. It just got worse when the coronavirus kicked in. I was panicking even when I just made eye contact with someone and socialising was hell, because I constantly thought that there is something "wrong" with me.
@@cottoncloudzzz I have had similar experience ,did nt play with kids my age growing up most of my childhood sucked because of my anxiety and it still sucks to this day, nothing changed and it’s hard for me to continue a conversation for more than 5 minutes and I cannot handle being around so many people.I even once cried in front of the whole class cause I was so overthinking to point where the teacher asked us some quiestion and I could nt answer so I simply cried .School life was horrible and is still horrible.Would nt wish it on someone.
@@Brainrot811 I know how it feels, trust me :( But please don't lose hope. I felt so hopeless and exhausted at some moments in my life, thought I was going crazy and I won't get out of this. And in the lowest point in my life I found God. I prayed, repented from my sins and now living feels, like, x10 times easier.. I still feel a little anxious, but now I know how to handle it and remember that I am just as important as everyone else around me :)
Loooool growing up in the 2000s when social anxiety was most definitely not a cool thing, it amuses me how it is cool now. I hid away but I KNEW deep inside what a detriment it was for the present and future since a very young age and as a 26 year old now, I say it does have a little kid thinking more seriously than the other airheads. It keeps people on the ground, like do people NOT want to look to the horizon and move forward in life? No, they don't! They resolved they're not gonna try and put all that energy in complaining. It is perpetually unending. This is far more dangerous than they realize. Like be real, WHAT is your goal in life? Life isn't about fairness or ease, it's about doing what's needed to get to where you need or want to be.
Sadness is addicting, I realized that and when I realize I’m falling into sadness I throw on a smile and fake laugh and it snaps me out of it. I recommend trying that, it may not work the first time soo train yourself as I did. It takes practice. Just like everything else. You got this!
I’m with you on this. When I’m feeling down I just act happy with my friends and I immediately feel so much better. It’s better to not let your feelings weigh you down.
ik like I’ll be crying for a good minute and then I think about how stupid I look and then it makes me laugh
Yeah, that's basically how I deal with my fake sadness.
Myself knows that I'm incapable of maintaining a sad state because I show more happiness and good manners to the world... but yet I can't remove this feeling that... in the long term, I'm still indifferent of myself. I try to escape via gaming or other means to ignore myself.
The "nice guy" act made me so insecure that I gave up chasing a relationship, and almost fell to the "incel thoughts."
I am way better at 24 years old than before that's for sure but once in a while, those feelings arise in a short period of time when something similar is about to happen.
That doesn’t work if you’re actually depressed.
guys no offense but I think that's called suppression
it's a literal coping mechanism
Thanks for speaking out on this, Cole. Mental health issues are definitely no joke. Seems like people have a tendency of not taking them seriously.
Indeed. It's so loosely used as a word too and it really annoys me as somebody who struggles terribly with it. There's a big difference between feeling sad and hating every waking moment of your life
Agreed.
I remember as a kid finding Spiderman quite relatable and also a few of his enemies like Doc Oc, the Lizard, and the Green Goblin. I saw these villians as a reflection of what dark path awaits me if I don't strive for resilience and Spiderman being an example of someone who was resilient in the face of adversity and never allowed his hardships to completely corrupt him.
Ok this is gonna sound crazy and don't tell anyone but... I'm spiderman. The forces of evil tech are trying to hurt the joy of my generation! We have to use good tech and wisdom to restore balance! Things may look dark now, but I KNOW that Gen Z will see, that a brilliant GOOD Future IS possible. I'm also a goofy kid like Aang, I may not look like much now, but I believe, we can save the world!
@@peach1516 Power to you, lad?
I agree, and that’s why I actually go to a therapist and psychiatrist instead of tik tok
Being sad is an addiction🙂
Don't know why but once you start being so critical of yourself , it is very hard to recover.....Be soft on yourself ....forgive for your past blunders.....
Life is short💙
Thank you for this video, people, mostly the younger ones must stop to think that mental health issues is "cool" or a "lifestyle". I suffer from bipolar disorder and ADHD for more than 20 years, i have to take meds everyday 3 times a day, i see a therapist every week, and i struggled with addictions, severe depressions, mania, a few times i was even weeks hospitalized for a few weeks. Its not fun or trendy, it's an illness- and people with these kind of issues have to seek for help. I can't blame teens for romantisize these type of feelings, its a phase. But if the phase goes on and on, and on, please search someting else than an echo chamber on social medias and comfort yourself in destructive behaviours. start a therapy instead, or talk about it with someone you trust in. thank you again Cole, it's an important message to share.
I’m 18 and I think people my age enjoy doing this is because they want to claim that they work hard or that they have been through tough times. They’ve had the easiest upbringing in human history but want to convince people they have been through the ringer without actually putting in the work. Everyone wants to be a fighter but not everyone wants to fight
This could actually be true....after all this is what humans are like
Good times create weak men
THIS.
I agree for sure, but this is like half or a quarter of the pie. Yes, a lot of teens, when given any conflict, small or large give the same reaction as it's the end of the world over the smallest inconvenience or to a certain point create their own problems because of what you proposed. Some people in their 20s still act like this sadly, of course we can't generally bias all teens in this way.
@@alexw6849I disagree
I relate a lot to the need to feel sad.
I used to participate in a lot of self-destructive behavior (like watching p*rn and binge-eating) and I still do, even though I knew it will make me sad. Even as I tried to quit, there was something pulling me back into these behavior patterns.
I now realize this was due to deep self-loathing. I felt the need to do things that made me feel sad almost as a way of punishing myself for not being who I wanted to be. I got better since then. Got a job, signed up to a gym, and now I'm way more productive than how I used to be when I was rotting at my house. As a direct result I also got better at avoiding bad habits.
People don't realize that a lot of their surface problems can be traced to an inner sense of turmoil, and that the drive for suffering is likely your body's way of telling you there's something fundamentally wrong in how you live you life, despite your attempts to ignore it.
The problem with destructive coping mechanisms (like getting addicted or immersing yourself in a fictional world and relating to its tragic characters) is that they don't address the core problems that cause you to want to be sad in the first place. Sadness is a catalyst for change, but when it's channeled into the same habits that caused you to be sad in the first place it creates an endless loop of suffering, which is not only dangerous, but can literally break a person. Before you aestheticize sadness, remember that it's only good if it leads to action. Take it as a sign that something is wrong and look for solutions. You're never sad for no reason
I'm going to leave a comment because this is very much how I understand my feelings. I get addicted to things that bring me to escapism instead of facing my problems. This puts a lot of things on my mind on how I should probably start my journey on recovery of my self and my own happiness. I can do this, it's hard, but its not impossible. And its not the safe way out that my mind wants to take.
I'm in a kind of boat to where I do certain things as a means to escape reality, got addicted to certain things, and obviously, makes the problem worse, but it's not like i did such things to myself for no reason i have many reasons (not an excuse for how i am but i still want to share my story at least), i have the same habits practically my whole life because of traumatic events in my life and other things such as a bad living environment, bad role models which led to bad habits, and getting bullied didn't help, i was hurt by people i didn't know, people i did know, and even more by family, but the only thing i find funny is that someone like me who could've went a different path, hadn't done anything to bad that it could kill me, but I'm no innocent man either, i got addicted to things that messed up my head, and having somewhat of a mental illness isn't helping, but all the now to do my best to change. Glad your doing better, I'm just getting started on the right track, but it's better than staying at where I one was, very glad I got to see someone shared their story/experience in all of this, you have a great day/night, bye bye
@@DavidMartinez-ez3lo❤
While many people will tune out just by the meer mention of it, coming back to Christianity is what helped me move past the romanticized depression phase of my life. Through going back, reading the Bible, and truly understanding the message and meaning I found an inner peace. This inner peace, or my “true Joy” stands strong even when I find myself depressed or drawn to destructive self indulgence. This True Joy is a devotion to a greater purpose beyond myself. That purpose is to live up to the standard of love and compassion set by Jesus Christ who walked amongst us. By virtue of being human I am an inherently sinful being, and will never truly reach the perfection set by Jesus, but by pursuing it through faith I can change both myself and the world around me for the better each and every day.
Many people confuse the failures of the Church with the true teachings of God and it’s heartbreaking. The Church, while made to be a home for residing in and the study of God, is still ultimately man made. As such it is susceptible to the same sin and corruption inherent to humans.
While I am only 25, and my journey to understanding God and the world around me is incomplete, having God’s love to protect my heart and mind is what allows me to wake up everyday hopeful and motivated.
I completely agree. Religion can boost morale, and can be a great coping mechanism, but many will always disregard it. There are a few reasons I'm sure as to why, but I'm pretty sure the main reason is related to this video. People don't like the way of life it presents. Religion often requires you to do good, to make efforts. People forget they don't have to be apart of a church with pressures and judgement, that they don't have to be the most perfect, but to simply be the best person they can be, and people hate this idea, especially teens who desire anything rebellious rather than what is good or may benefit them and others the most. Even if you have addiction religion encourages you to find a way out, but that requires effort and actual compassion and means you may lose a little bit of clout online or with your friends. Even if you suffer from depression or mental illness religion encourages you to get better and find ways to get healthier, and this is also unappealing for the same reason. I just hope people realize religion is beyond those that practice it, and even if you don't practice religion to at least pick up some of those healthy habits. It's no wonder why many people in the past have turned to religion, because it's what's benefitted and comforted them the most through hard times. I think the only way for people to acknowledge religion is for them to first acknowledge the issues with glamourizing mental illness, then we can have that discussion. This is not to say that religion is the best coping mechanism, but to just get some good life goals and values down is probably the best way to get in touch with your individuality and become the best you rather than relying on mental illness
Unfortunately, the reason people turn away from religion often has nothing to do with an unwillingness to heal, but because of abuses that come from religious institutions. Sometimes, it's also from homophobia and transphobia. I remain religious, but many of my queer friends left Christianity because of abuses they faced in the church. While I have never been hurt for being queer, especially now that I've found a safe church, I still faced abuses in a Catholic school for being autistic. With the current political climate it honestly feels like the abusers in churches trying to finish me off. Some find healing in religion, but to others it only brings suffering.
@diorsaga God is good brother never give up.
Thankyou for being one of the people that actually uses Christianity for good andnnot to harm and discriminate against others. I am glad u found something healing in it. 💗
as a teen i found myself surrounded by an online community of other teens, all of us lgbt, and going through a lot with families that hated us for who we are. we became an echo chamber of depression, sadness, support, and love. no one in that community was purposely posting their neuroses to harm others, it was to get support and understanding the only way we knew how, but it kept all of us down, all of us locked into that mindset. granted, we were teens in unsupportive homes, so until we could move out, there wasnt much room for us to get better. but we clung to that cycle of needing others validation and reassurance. now as a 25 year old, some of those friends ive lost to suicide, some i still talk to daily. but i think a lot about how we used our biggest traumas and pain to relate to each other and cope with what we went through. it wasnt healthy, and i know did damage to my mental health. but it gave me somewhere to belong and see others grow and win and lose and change and sadly die. theres no real point to this comment, other than to say that as much as i loved them all, i never again want to be surrounded only by those that see things the way i do and experience the same things i do.
As a gothy artist in her 30s, who has a history of questionable mental health, & an admitted tendency to romanticize horror, tragedy & similar sadnesses, I found this video wonderfully thoughtful, & though provoking.. I’ll definitely be thinking about this for the next couple weeks. Well done! 🖤🖤
I'll be thinking about you, I am wishing for the best possible Good Future for you.
I hope you feel better now
I used to Romanticize Depression and had no clue why. it was just something I wanted to feel and rarely felt it. I spent like an hour listening to sad classical music and C418 one day and I felt sad and I sort of liked it. This video left me with a new understanding and was very useful.
Great video, Cole. I can relate to your experience. I mentioned this to my friend the other day -- I absolutely HATE seeing "🌈anxiety attacks!!" or "CEO of overthinking❤" or shits like that plastered all over shirts and other merchandises. I'm all for awareness but I can't stand the 'aestheticization' of real mental problems.
I agree, and you know, I think rich adults literally profit off us Gen Z kids when we feel bad. Why heal someone when you can profit off their emotional suffering? In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if they hire actors on the internet to comment and make us feel bad *on purpose* so that more children end up in a "mental health" center, and then these professionals use insurance to silently siphon money without people noticing. I'm trying to start a new Good Future culture for our generation, one with intelligence, comedy, real conversation, real friends, and real hugs. Imagine a future where people are so based that we don't even have therapists anymore, because now you can just talk to intelligent, strong, joyful, long term friends who love you for free.
Really appreciate your thoughts. And I’m so impressed by the last quote: “ It’s OK to be OK”. Yeah, we are not seeing the world by the way it is anymore. Our outlooks are being shaped by the media. Literally, we need to deeply connect with ourselves, fight for our problems, not just advertise our problems and suffer in the sufferings
I think that another reason why some people feel that is not ok to be ok is comparison: in my childhood i've heard a lot of parents, including mine, reminding to their children that there are people who live worse than them, therefore they should't complain about whatever they're complaining about and that their problems, unless they are really big, are not worth paying attention. So it creates a scenario where the only possibility they have (in their head) to get help or attention is to tell people that they have a really big problem. I think that a lot of people identifing with depressed movie characters are just the manifestation of that.
my friends are obsessed with romanticising mental illness. They self-diagnose based on nothing or tiktok or stereotypes and its super distressing for me because theres so much stigma and misrepresentation that affects me but it doesn't affect them :(. They. can brag about their adhd and their medication but look at me funny when I had to take my meds which I tried to not draw attention to (for a little bit I had to have them during a break between periods because the other tablet would've stopped taking effect) and I hated it so much I felt so uncomfortable. I literally used to hide any meds, my heatpack, felt guilty for my weighted blanket etc when people came over. I hate it, I hate the stigma its not aesthetic or poetic or cool its debilitating. I have no life, no control over any decisions, I'm constantly supervised, always at appointments or in arguments. And they want this? They think its quirky and have made jokes mental hospitals which they have NEVER experienced and it triggered me massively. Mental hospitals are not "grippy sock vacations" there is nothing fun about them, I'm traumatised from the hospital & mental health services. Because of this romanticisation it has really ramped up my obsessive thoughts I get multiple times a day that I'm faking and I'm invalid and not sick enough to meet my diagnoses because I'm faking. Its awful and distressing and I hate it so much:( its a constant loop and I need confirmation that I'm not faking and making people feel bad or doing the wrong thing. I want the romanticising to stop.
hearing people say that about mental hospitals makes me so mad. I stayed in a hospital psych ward for a week and it was the most miserable week of my life. I hated it so much. I remember coming across a meme on pinterest about finding love in the psych ward and all the comments were romanticizing finding and kissing some handsome unstable man and falling in love and all this other bullshit. it’s ridiculous and despicable behavior. No, you are not going to find love in a mental hospital so shut the f up and find some other trait to base your personality around.
@@kruggyy yes i know its so annoying and I'm so sorry:( I was in mine for only 3 weeks (it was meant to be 6-8) because It was a failed admission. Its not quirky or fun. I saw a comment saying something about how excited them and their friends were and they planned that if they ever went they would all share a room and decorate it? Its not fun, people are super insensitive.
To be fair…I made a grippy sock vacation joke to cope with my experience …it’s a horrible place
@@annajones5057 i understand that people use jokes as a coping mechanism for their personal experience and im fine with that, but its about the people who have never been and don't need to go who shouldn't be making insensitive jokes as its something they've never personally experienced yknow?
I blame tiktok for the adhd medication shortage and dramatic increase of diagnoses. During covid, there were multiple telehealth online services that offered adhd testing. There are tons of stories of people getting a diagnosis in 20 min. That infuriated me, i highly HIGHLY doubt that 90% of people that were diagnosed during covid, actually had adhd.
I hate my medication and the way it makes me feel, but at least i can be productive right? I cannot believe that people are so privileged that the wished they had a debilitating mental illness.
If i could cure my adhd, social anxiety and depression, i would do it in an instant. I have always wished i was normal, and not a prisoner trapped in my own mind.
6th grade was easily my peak in life. Now I’m only a junior so I’m still have a life ahead of me and some childhood left. But every since Covid my social anxiety has skyrocketed. I was always introverted but I never had trouble taking to people and making friends. But now I haven’t made a friend since 7th grade. They way I made myself feel better whenever I was down or feeling depressed about my life or nostalgic for better times, I just throw my head phones on and go for a walk. It’s such a cheap easy and healthy way to relax and calm yourself while getting exercise and fresh air. It’s what really helped me get through tough and lonely times in my life.
One of the huge reason why this happened is because 90% of UA-camrs were saying they have depression, and promote therapy to literally anyone, which devalued mental illness and made it feel like it's not a big deal, or not that different than "being depressed"
I kind of agree with you, but I think it must be pointed out that the help of a therapist is useful even if not afflicted by a mental illness. Sometimes it just helps you make difficult decisions when you don't have enough experience, and people around you can't help you
@@LucaRicciComposer that's fine, untill you realize that there is a shortage of specialized therapists for the demand, and those therapists are making an absurd profit of the offer/demand ratio. There's a fine line between needing a life coach and a therapist. And me having to wait two weeks and paying 15% or my wage for 2h/month of sessions makes me wonder how I'm still alive
@@raleo7466 That doesn't mean you start gatekeeping therapy and judge people for not being sick enough for it.
thank you for making this video. mental health is something i’ve always struggled with in life, even right now, where i consider myself fine right now, i can still recognize my problems here and there. i’m honestly bewildered that people are so willing to turn these things into “aesthetics” and make it into parts of their personality, when there’s people like me who have actively suffered for a majority of their life and DONT want to be seen as/known as the “depressed person.” im not trying to downplay anybody’s struggles, it’s just difficult to open up about stuff like this sometimes because i’m worried people will hear my experiences and say stuff like “oh you’re just saying that cuz it’s a trend or you want attention or you want to seem cool to your friends.”
depression is seriously not cool at all, it fucking sucks. but that’s ok. that means we can get stronger because of how much more there is to us.
stay safe and stay strong
this was the biggest thing i had to dismantle when i went into therapy, especially when tackling my eating disorder. media representation of mental illness can also fuel eds because of this idealized portrayal of a skinny, pale, conventionally attractive character suffering from mental illness. it almost perpetuates an idea that without the right “look,” you aren’t really sick.
Thats why I really aprechiate the ed recovery Yt channelns who actually work against that and r so brave to be taht vunerable in public.
i’m literally doing a project on media’s effect on perceptions on mental illnesses, and this helps a lot, thank you so much, and i agree with everything you’re saying.
Hey in case it's still not due, you should also check out Sydney Watson on this topic, Cole also referenced parts of her video. She provides a slightly different view, but also references actual medical studies and other materials that may also come handy to you! Good luck for your project
тоска
Toska (Russian)
Russian word roughly translated as “sadness, melancholia, lugubriousness.”
According to Vladimir Nabokov: “No single word in English renders all the shades of toska. At its deepest and most painful, it is a sensation of great spiritual anguish, often without any specific cause.”
no surprise ruskies are depressed and want to share this depression around the world
The worst I ever got was when I was 18.
My grandfather had passed away from stage 4 lung cancer. He was like a father to me and losing him meant I lost something in me that contributed to my happiness.
Up until I turned 21, I was so depressed that I can’t even remember if I had any moments in my life. There’s a whole 3 1/2 year gap in my memory.
Around the same time, I started to notice how many people were going through the same thing, they had lost something just like I had.
I became jealous of children who would sit on their grandfather’s lap, oblivious to how easily that can be taken away.
I sat in my own grief and pain and considered… that… but I didn’t go through with it.
I didn’t think he’d want me too.
Then, we got some chicks, just these little fuzz balls of serotonin and innocence. I started sitting outside with them when they got big, telling them about how I felt, how sad I was and how I genuinely saw no way out.
They would come up to me, sit with me, and just… listen. They offered no advice, no input.
They just listened.
For years I had been to therapy, hoping to get the help I needed.
And I got it in the form of some little birds that costs $3 all together. They gave me unconditional love and support, and all they asked for in return was food, water and shelter.
That really just made everything brighter, thank you.
As a 40 year old man who went through all this I can honestly say this is probably Coles best video yet.
Keep up the good work 👍
Here are my thoughts on this topic:
First, I think it is a two-sided sword to present mental illness on social media. It's good when you maybe reach those who can relate to you or that it becomes more socially acceptable. On the other hand, most of the things on social media is mostly staged or things getting romanticized and aestheticized.
Second, it's also easier to create a "This is me - meme" that also can be seen as joke, rather than discussing problems with an medical expert.
I've been struggling with depression since I was about 12 years old and only now, 13 years later, after I got treatment and was diagnosed with Borderline, I am starting to "discover" who I am. Mental illness was casting a thick shadow on my personality, wishes and interests, especially in the younger years where youre supposed to develop your person.
I agree with the sentiment that especially young teens suffering from mental illness are missing that vital part of self-development and resort to define themselves by their illness because its the only thing they are certain about.
I definitely saw myself as different, not deserving to be happy, hopeless, destined to die young and such, because I was too young to understand that I could change my mental health for the better.
Definitely an important topic, thanks for making this video
I'm part of Gen Z myself, and lucky enough to differentiate mental illness and normal feelings, I don't need therapy or anything, but somehow my parents make me go through therapy even though I don't need it, even the therapist said "He's just a normal teenager, he doesn't know what he wants yet, he's analytical and knows what he can do to make life easier, he's a smart kid" (I usually invent something just because I prefer it to be different like watch ring (a watch small enough to be used as a ring)) I can see my parents getting desperate, but I don't know why, my parents once said leaving me in a boarding school (Junior High) was their only regrets, but that's actually where grow as a person... My parents and I have different views and that make us fight a lot, argue a lot, and it made me feel lonely... I want to feel understood yet I don't understand myself that well... I want to know how to understand myself yet I don't know how other than reflecting...
You can go through your questions at the end in… therapy 😂 therapy can deff be for normal people!! No need to be suicidal or dangerous - even talk therapy is enough to truly help in ways reflecting on your own can’t.
I thought I knew everything about me, especially after having done therapy for a total of like 5 years on and off. Guess what. I’ve been in regular therapy for about 6 months now again. Still constantly discovering new things. I’m shocked every session. Especially things my brain’s not ready to communicate with my conscious self 👀
Maybe try therapy again? Just ask your questions, and open yourself up to the idea that it can help clarify things about yourself ☺️
@@NFC37 He seems pretty self aware already. There's no reason to pressure someone into therapy who doesn't want it, except in cases where that person does have a severe problem.
@@NFC37 I've tried it once more, focusing on 'Understanding myself', I can explain why and how based on my current self, I wrote the comment approximately 1 month ago, therapy a few days ago, and the answers can actually be found in everyday life, through my parents (genes basically), the only thing I got from the therapist is wanting more knowledge can lead myself to self unawareness, other than that can be found in my everyday life.
Been saying this for a MINUTE now. So many depressing reels in my Instagram feed, I had to turn that stuff off because it was actually messing with my head for a while. I know a fair amount of people who are still deep in this web however and it's sad to witness how common this is becoming, it's almost scary.
I'm liking as many comments as possible to help in the algorithm, this is well put together!
Thank you for liking my comment man! I saw I got a like. Woo!
@@Keonggreen It was a pleasure!
Most wholesome interaction
@@ColeHastings ikr!!!
@@ColeHastings
This is what ive been thinking about. Those "memes" of the literally me characters i saw on instagram had a relatable side to them. During the times i felt alone i used social media to distract myself i saw the exact same situation i was in shown through the meme. I liked the video because i found it relatable and the algorithm did its job and started recommending me more and more of the literally me character posts. These posts never have a positive outlook so in a way you are essentially stuck in this never ending loop of sadness. My life got a lot better when i used the not interested option. I ended the cycle of the never ending relatable sadness and started looking for ways to improve myself. Ive now found some really good friends who help me improve myself and help me become a better person.
As someone with diagnosed depression, generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety and mild OCD, it's not fun. I often wish that I could just enjoy life I guess, that I could do basic stuff like doing a skin care routine or eating on a regular schedule or just study, I often envy peers that are able to maintain a workout schedule or aren't scared of taking the train. As I get older, I realize that mental illness is a cage I desperately want to break out of, because in the end there is more to life than just being sad and melancholic. It's okay to not be okay, but sometimes you just want to be happy.
There used to be a whole paragraph here but I am a shit writer. This video still deserves a comment to make youtube recommend it more. Good video!
The honesty this creator put into this video is so impressive. He is openly saying things that i see in the subconscious of so so many people today. What I find odd is how difficult it is for us to talk openly about this topictoo.
I was diagnosed with autism very recently, though I suspected it was a possibility for a couple years prior, and looking back on my life, there were a lot of this that fit. Although certainly it was nice to get a reason for my life experience (the mind abhors a vacuum), I was always somewhat skeptical of self diagnosis. A negative diagnosis wouldn't have invalidated me. I was (and still am) experiencing what I'm experiencing, I wanted to get at the best explanation.
Granted that Autism is in a medical/behavioral sense a very broad brush diagnosis and that no professional evaluation is fool proof, I was a bit taken aback by the fervency of many in the autistic community to make being autistic so primary to their identity (and not just a important part) in opposition to neurotypicals. I did come late to the diagnosis, I was before I thought I was, so my way of understanding things has come into conflict with ideas in the current autism community even as I learn more. I'm aware that the effects of autism are a lot more severe in such things as overwhelm than I have to endure, so I try to moderate my skepticism with compassion and open ears. And surely being a disregarded section of the population is distressing. Nevertheless, I felt rather uncomfortable with "us-them" mentality I saw online, and feel that there must be a better and less bitter way.
Best option is to try to tell them what a world without their mental problems would be and what their lives could be without autism, it would still be good because they can still make friends even if without their defining feature
Another thing I’ve noticed is that when people are listening to another person battles/struggles, they try to downplay it by making it seem like they had harder & just disregard the person venting.
It seems like everything is a challenge about who has it worst instead of being grateful for having it good.
I was at fault of that in my teenage years.
I feel like the biggest significant point in my life was when someone who has been confident enough to help me through my entire depression journey saying "Thank you for holding on to hope."
I think that's something that's really important to aim towards. Even if you're depressed, holding on to hope is the best thing you can do.
As a teenager who spent most of their teenage recovering from mental illness and can proudly say mostly succeeded, the brain comes up with these coping mechanisms as a reaction to trauma to dissociate from the intense pain you can't handle as a child, therefore it would go without saying that there is a temporary emotional benefit to mental illness. Every mental illness has its highs and lows, and I gotta tell ya the highs can be fucking fun. Like it can make you feel excited, full of drive, invincible, not caring at all what happens to you, it definitely has its honeymoon phase especially if you're doing it with other mentally ill people but after a while it gets very dark and heavy, all of the sudden all your friends are shells of who they used to be if they even make it out alive and you realize all your dreams you think about while getting high will never happen unless you stop getting high. And I'm not only talking about drugs, I'm talking about running away from your problems into any escape mechanism. And people saying "you never recover you just learn to live with it" isn't really motivating either but I am telling you it is not true, and people I have met are living proof along with myself.
I fell victim to this about 2 years ago, i could have gotten out of my depression far sooner than i did, but i didn't, because, i'm just going to admit it, it made me feel special. I wanted to "own" all the people who tried to motivate me, i wanted to show them that they were wrong, out of pure jealousy. I genuinely got angry when i saw people happy or living good lives. I was addicted to the misery, i did not want it to end. If anyone's reading this who's experiencing something similar, please, GET HELP. This is not something worth sacrificing your mental health for and i deeply regret the ways in which i mistreated myself now. If you're wondering, yes, i made a full recovery and i am a far happier person now, you can do it too.
I’m gonna keep it a stack, exercise is absolutely the reason I am no longer depressed. I started running for my school and cycling for a league. getting out and working myself to my limit is such a good way to distract yourself from depression. For me, the distraction further evolved into no longer having depression.
It’s genuinely insane that mainstream internet culture has become complex enough for this to even be possible. But it is, and widespread!
I believe this now. Just turn 18 not too long ago. When I was younger though, I had a really rough childhood. My mom was in a really dysfunctional relationship which made the household dysfunctional. It became my personality to be the older sister who was always there for my siblings. I was the good girl who never did wrong and was strong because I was smiling. When it ended at 13, I didn’t know who I was. I grew distant and different. I didn’t feel special. It took time before I felt okay. A part of me started to realize that I just wanted to be sad. Even now there are days I just want to be sad for no reason. It’s silly but weird. All I know is that it’s natural for it to happen, I just have to get used to feeling okay and not okay interchangeably.
It could be that your body is releasing all of these feeling from the past, that u were not able to express, cause u needed to be strong. That alos means it will get less over the years, if u just keep doing u and if r as kind to yourself as u can be. The fact that u r already that aware of it, means that u r already healing and doing an amazing Job. Respect.💓
I think it's actually kind of late, because that "depression mood aesthetic" was such a thing in 2010, and then he came back with 13 reason why, but today...not really
I think there needs to be a conversation about censoring certain words and terms in social media. The very fact that we censor words like suicide and replace them with seemingly less triggering words like unliving, as is the case here, somehow stigmatizes talking freely about the issue and brushes the problem further under the rug.
You’re killin it Cole. Keep going, let’s get to 1,000,000 by this year 💪🏻🔥
That would be wild but let’s give it a shot
good luck bro! I’m sure with your catalogue of self-help and quality content, you can easily get people to subscribe who are interested in similar topics. You may never know but you could have saved millions of lives by now!
For anyone who’s struggling and feeling like they are sad for no reason here’s what helps me, personally.
1) Delete ALL social media for just a week.
2) Set a goal that’s not that hard to accomplish, (drink 2L of water per day for example)
3) Go for a walk, TRUST ME. (the best ones are in the nature)
4) Try new hobby (i bought a journal and i’m sketching in it each day and it DOESN’T MATTER HOW UGLY IT LOOKS AT LEAST U TRIED. U can also try cooking, trying out different outfits, drawing, singing…)
5) Do something that will sound silly at first. Lay in the grass, dance in ur room like you’re insane, sing even if u don’t know how, i know it sounds goofy but trust me.
6) Romanticize daily activities ( taking a shower, drinking tea, eating, listening to music, cleaning, reading..Add a little spice to everything you’re doing.
7) Be more mindful. Instead of being in “autopilot” mode, try being fully present while you’re doing stuff. Enjoy each food bite, feel each step you take, feel each thing you touch, pay attention to everything you hear.
8) Like he said, IT’S OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY AND IT’S OKAY TO BE OKAY. Stop thinking that it’s lame to be happy…
I have severe Schizophrenia. I don't understand why some people romanticize it and think it's a case of a buddy you get to talk to every second of every day. It literally caused me so much worry about when the voices would speak again. It's so sad that some people claim to have anxiety, depression, schizophrenia or a different mental illness all for the sake of TikTok views. I don't even think I'd wish schizophrenia would bite them in the butt. It's important to destigmatize mental health issues but we need to understand that it's important to call out those who are so clearly faking. You want views so badly, then do something funny. If we had the technology to tell people from 100 years ago about our current knowledge around mental illness and how there are some people who glorify it, they would be disgusted.
They think it's a buddy you get to talk to all day in part because of depictions in movies like "A Beautiful Mind" and more recently "Words on Bathroom Walls" which basically equate it to having imaginary friends instead of being tormented and persecuted by perceived entities. Too many people base their reality off of what they see in the media. Few seem able to separate education from entertainment.
Yeah, where we've gone wrong is in forgetting WHY mental illness should be destigmatized. It should be destigmatized so that mentally ill people can get help, and don't have the additional burden of being mistreated by others. Not so that it's now seen as cool to have it.
This is why the song "Art School Wannabe" by Sorority Noise it's one of my favorite songs ever.
I fell into this liking in sadness at some point as well, "maybe I'm too scared to admit that I might not be as dark as I think, maybe I'm not the person that I never wanted to be" were the lines that made think about what I was feeling really, I kinda cringed on myself after realizing how fake and even narcissistic I sounded sometimes.
I still felt sad, but it was clear that I tried it to sound worse than it actually was, saying I had a lot of problems, but never actually explaining them out loud to close people because deep down, I knew I didn't actually wanted to solve them.
2:22 great example is Polish poet Jan Kochanowski and his “Laments”- poems dedicated to his 2 years old daughter after she died
Also Polish movie ,,Dzień Świra” from 2002 is a great representation of OCD and many other issues
There’s nothing more dangerous than starting to think you’re “special” because you have such a tragic life. I see many people starts believing they are special and misunderstood because they feel depressed or some other disorder….well, I got out of my depression and I think it’s possible to live a happier fulfilling life…
I used to think that sad, tragic tales made for the best types of stories. Then I watched K-On and realized that some stories don’t even need to be serialized to be really well done. It’s okay to feel sad, but just as important it’s okay to feel happy
I'm only 1 and a half minutes in and you already put a feeling I couldn't correctly describe perfectly into words. I applaud you.
"It's okay to be okay." Dang, that was profound.
Thank you for making a video on this, spreads a lot more awareness. Honestly Im so glad I never fell into the "depression is cool" trap. I can see why others would, but I just never liked the empty void feeling sadness gave me. Times where I felt it, I wanted to get rid of it and feel normal again as fast as I could. I'd watch youtube, movies and anything to return to the feeling of normalcy.
I do hope this romanticization stops or at the very least lessens over time, cuz its bringing more harm than good.
Welcome to ***** ****. The first rule of ***** **** is: you do not talk about ***** ****. The second rule of ***** **** is: you DO NOT talk about ***** ****! Third rule of ***** ****: if someone yells “stop!”, goes limp, or taps out, the fight is over. Fourth rule: only two guys to a fight. Fifth rule: one fight at a time, fellas. Sixth rule: the fights are bare knuckle. No shirt, no shoes, no weapons. Seventh rule: fights will go on as long as they have to. And the eighth and final rule: if this is your first time at ***** ****, you have to fight.
That last bit "it's okay to be okay" is what I feel most guilty about. I am pretty much over it now, but there was a time I felt guilty because I didn't have some quirk or illness, that I was suppose to have a easy straight forward life. I always feel like I'm taking things for granted because of how fortunate I am. So when I feel sad I always think someone has it worse and I shouldn't feel this sad over my life that is so "easy". Actively reminding myself everyone is on a different time line and everyone has their own things to deal with while also being grateful of the life I have the way it is.
I never clicked on a video so fast. Finally, someone is talking about it
FINALLY SOMEONE MADE A VIDEO ON IT. I ABSOLUTELY DESPISE THOSE VIDEOS AND HOW IT MADE ME FEEL
Hey Cole,
This was a great video. I knew that depression was a widespread issue. I never thought that was possible to become addicted to the feeling of being depressed.
Very insightful video that gives very good examples and insights into how depression can become so ingrained into one’s personality that the very thought of not being depressed can be scary.
Thank you for speaking out! I’ve noticed that over the past few year and I think it’s so weird. Mental illnesses and disorders are not something to brag about.
From 4th grade to 8th, I was one of those kids who romanticized deppression, mental illness, and self harm. During lunch I would grab a straw with a pointy end and “cut myself” (there was never blood) until a friend told a teacher. I told my sister I wanted to kill myself and gave my mother a scare. I often would draw myself with long messy hair and a black hoodie. I wasn’t sad, my life was definitely not amazing (my parents fought like all the time) but I was by no means depressed or scuicidal. Then came quarantine and then, I was actually depressed. I realized I wasted the happiest and most innocent time of my life pretending to be in pain. I’m very upset with myself for that, I tried to do bette but then other stuff happened and I’ve gotten worse in different areas. I wish I never went through that, I would probably be a better person lole but I’ll figure it out.
It's very brave of you to share your story, thank you. I'm doing a topic similar to this on my HPQ (I'm 14) and I was wondering if I had permission to use your story? If I do, would it be alright if I asked you a few questions?
@@imnottellingyoumyname411 yeah of course, i dont mind at all
@@imnottellingyoumyname411bro what lmao
@woomynoomy_ Thank you! If you don't want to answer any of my questions, feel free to ignore them btw.
You say that this behaviour started 3-4 years before quarantine, meaning it was in 2016-2017 that this all started. Were you particularly active in the creepypasta or Gacha Life communities at the time? Which communities were you a part of and interacting with at the time this behaviour began? Or do you think it started due to someone in your in-person life? (Thank you again for taking your time to do this, I really appreciate it)
@@LiftBigRock HPQ stands for Higher Project Qualification. It's essentially extra credit
I'm pretty inspired by characters like Captain America. I may have started confused and feeling weak. But after growing and taking on opportunities, I feel inspired to help others and be their hero.
What I’ve noticed is that the more things we do to push ourselves to grow, the less we will feel the depression… I used to suffer with anxiety and depression and now I am a totally different person!! And I attribute that to doing difficult things 🔥🙏😁
At the same time emotions are normal and feeling sad is actually healthy… as long as it’s not prolonged periods of time
Did you actually get diagnosed with depression?
@@grandperspective1167 yup i think that he never had depression,it doesn't matter if you are exercing,getting good grades or working you Will still feel bad because depression affects your Brain,it ruins your perception and your mind doesn't shut up
@@isidorodaviddoro1920 yup, I've been hospitalized for it. Pple kill me suggesting DOING HARD things as a solution. It's tone deaf, a symptom of REAL CLINICAL depression is the inability to do the EASIEST OF THINGS like sit up in bed to eat!!! get out the bed to urinate etc
I’m 47yo and I’ve lived with diagnosed depression,OCD and anxiety attacks since my earliest memories. I remember very clearly being 8 or 9 and looking out the window to see friends playing and had a wave of crushing heaviness come over me. I have no trauma, no explainable reason for having this my entire life other than biological. My great grandfather, grandfather, and father all had/have it. What I absolutely love is that everyone of us with it never stopped from succeeding. The first two were both engineers in the bio chemistry field and my father is a retired attorney/judge. And my hero. I’ve got a successful career, own two homes, etc but still this crushing heaviness comes around at times. Other times it’s a dull roar in my being. At this age I’ve realized I may never beat, 99% of Internet programs are garbage and medication does help me. I’ve also realized to be compassionate to every single person I meet. Even if I do not care for them. This is life, this is a challenge I inherited but it will not stop me.
As someone who's had depression and social anxiety since a kid (im now 40) i would never wish it upon anyone, and there's never been a time in my life i would romanticise it, I guess the plus to all this is they brought it all to mainstream attention alot more, so in a way im thankful for that, because before there was no help and people like me were seen as weird even by your own family members (at least that's how i grew up with it) the struggle now is getting a diagnosis for ADHD as a adult in the UK, Its a complete nightmare
I'm an existential philosopher and writer, i find deep inspirations in my deep sadness sometimes... Writing about it and sharing it even helps me think about it more deeply. Sometimes my hand will move on it's own, writing how i feel without thought...
I don't use short form content apps, the most i see is on UA-cam, i mostly try to avoid it to be honest...
I felt ashamed of being alive for a long time, but even in my suffering, i decided to want to live.
Writer/philosopher/extremely deep thinker.
Thank you for this love, its helped me think more deeply. Peace hun
I dont think its so much a romanticization but more so a coping mechanism through humor, in my friend group, its not the easiest to be super open about these things, so being able to use memes like these can help, and give us easier opportunities to talk about our issues in a light hearted sense through a mutual interest, obviously there are parts of the internet of people who just self diagnose and really need to clinge onto any little thing to feel special or unique to make up for their lack of a personality, but for me and my experiences its never been about glorifying mental illness more so just the new generations technique with coping and relating to eachother with mental illness
It's a popular coping mechanism nowadays (for people who actually dtruggle with mental illness)
I think because it's been a taboo-topic for centuries, we're now unraveling these layers of mental suffering and even romanticize (finding the beauty in) it before we get to an age where mental health gets addressed in a healthy way.
hey man,just wanna say thank u for helping me to be a better person,glad i found ur channel :>
Glad I could help
This is the first Comment I have written in over 7 Years.
But I really have to do it because I couldn't appreciate this clear structured, rational and empathetic Video more and hope more people (like me), who were vulnerable for these kind of thoughts, can reflect on their own development into a full grown person, which is aware of their problems and capabilities to get through them. As I am in my 20s now I'm slowly losing the memory of me struggling as a teenager with totaly human feelings. But it's nice to reflect and appreciate who I am today and who I was.
Great Work & much love from Germany🖤
It was also romanticized in the 1990’s, but probably to a lesser degree and less ubiquitously
Like when consumption was all the rage? Humans are so bizarre.
The quality of your vids and editing is crazy!
Dropping the habit of getting a kick out of negativity is one of the best things you can do if you’re depressed
as someone who would commit to those “literally me” stuff I always had some interest in it and I’m so glad I now know. I think you should’ve also noted about the rise of it mostly increasing because of the pandemic. With the isolation happening it is important to note how some have been reported to be more depressed in life even as of the aftermath. Some even miss being in the pandemic despite how grueling it was which could also signify how we praise with being unhealthy and sad. Sorry for my grammar, English isn’t my first language.
People "wanting" to be sad is a bit of a stretch. I believe people wanting to feel those feelings of self pity, wallowing in helplessness and accepting nihilism and that sadness is an integral part of your life is the idea the public likes to follow. This is a form of abandoning responsibility to some extent, of pleasurable peace one can achieve, also it is a form of coping mechanism (or escapism) from sadness.
Another thing is that society reinforces the sadness in you. If you show your feelings and you happen to be sad, you might not get the response you wished for, instead you become the person who is "the downer" or the one who ruins the vibe. If you are in a society that prefers toxic positivity over self-expression, then it is normal to want to be accepted for the ugly feeling of sadness in a community.
Overall sadness in itself is not something anyone would want. It is biologically made to make us not feel well. Everything else that comes with "being the sad person" is the factor that makes this all so popular.
The stigma around mental illness was still present, although shrinking, when I was a teenager. My school environment was underequipped to address this sort of problem with the nuance it needed. I was pretty lucky to have some teachers who understood and encouraged me to pursue hobbies and interests that added much needed dimension to my life.
Thank you for all the hard work you put in your videos!
Was medicated for 20 years and all of my doctors told me I would never not be depressed. Not depressed anymore, just living life. Once I stopped identifying as a depressed person and made the conscious choice to work towards growth the change was quick and permanent. People need support, not to be told who they are.
As a 14 years old kid, I can say that i definitely relate to this. Fortunately, my personality is very focused on uniqueness, which means that I tend to reject most trends (so I mostly uneffected by "Literally me" mental ilness characters. Unfortunately that drives me away from people a lot of the times, which nearly drove me to depression multiple times. Fortunately, I either tend to go towards Stoic "Literally me" characters (which I've been trying to avoid recently after discovering how bad it is to supress my feelings) or characters focused on resolving their problems, and dealing with their shitty self/ mental ilnesses (an exemple is Rudeus from Mushoku Tensei). Also thanks for bringing this video to us, as your videos of Gen Z have really helped me realize and put into words the ideas I belive in (for those who are looking for the same thing I recommand Aperture)
As someone who used to identify with mentally unwell characters and seeing how it affected me negatively, I will say that identifying more with heroic characters like Batman has helped me immensely because he's a character who used his trauma to make himself into a unstoppable beast of a man.
@@aaronadame418 For me Job from the bible resonates the most when it comes to struggles. He never let his urges control him and didn't ignore and push away his grief either. He addressed it in a mature way.
i am 15 and i am like you , i a lways want to be unique and i am trying to make myself think that its okay to be normal .
Forget about 'being unique' because what does that even mean? Every single person is unique and special in their own way actually, not just you. Everyone has something to offer and something interesting to contribute and learn from. At the same time every single person is also ordinary and the same, meaning we all need to eat, go to the toilet, make money to live, have people in our lives who love and support us, to spend time doing things we love, etc. Just focus on being yourself and the best version of you that you can be.
@Planetarium What does becoming the best version of yourself mean to you? Sit down and reflect on what you really want in life and the kind of person you want to become. What do you really want to achieve? What do you see as your purpose and mission in life? What means most to you in life and what fulfils you? Figure these things out then make it your life's purpose to make it happen - make them into goals and take small steps towards making the goals a reality by taking action every day. You have to be the one who gives your life purpose and meaning. A couple of basics to get you started - which are beneficial for everyone - is working towards your dream career and looking after your body with exercise, good nutrition, good sleep, and meditation. Every positive thing you do for yourself supports every other positive thing you do for yourself. It's a slow process initially but the more consistent action you take towards your goals day by day over the months and years the more it becomes an ingrained habit and snowballs. Always take the action that you know you need to do each day, whether you feel like it or not. Eventually all the hard work pays off.
Brilliant, brilliant video. I feel like I fight the romanticised view of anxiety and depression. At work, IRL the lot. I’m just gonna send everyone your video. Well done buddy ❤