I don't wanna sound corny or nothing, but this video came at a perfect time in my life. It feels cathartic hearing someone, who is not me, verbalize what I feel and what's going on in my head. It's hard because each year I get older I feel more and more like lost potential as opposed to celebrating getting older and other lifetime events. I always want to do more to prove myself, and then I burn out and am faced with a wave of self-hatred for how "lazy" I'm being. Also, even when try to give yourself some grace, thoughts of whether you're actually neurodivergent/ going through a depressive episode/experiencing the symptoms that it hard to function, or am just making excuses.
You are definitely not making excuses and sometimes it's not depression, it's a burnout and that's completely different. It won't be cured with medication, your body and mind need to rest and that can be 1 month or a few months or even a yr.
Yeah, that basket or picking up one thing and dropping another is exactly what happens. It's so important to balance. It looks like everyone else is doing it so easily. Just keep pressing forward I guess, but one day we have to pick ourselves up and figure out who we really want to be. So much of this resonates.
That basket analogy is too real!! But I also think it’s part of life and I think that everyone’s struggling in our community in one way or another but will never tell you right! We’re all saving face. There isn’t enough time to have it all, so we have to pick and choose!
The basket thing! I was diagnosed 2 years ago and before that, I would periodically cry to my therapist saying that I felt I was juggling too many things (work, friends, family, myself, etc) and the slightest change in life would make me drop everything. I was missing the basket part. At that time (before diagnosis) I thought everyone found it hard to work and also do laundry to have clean clothes to go to work and I was just lazy… Now I know that’s not the case, but the basket analogy is great.
Oh my god! I LITERALLY just did the same exact thing!!! And I really loved your video! It was insightful and motivating. I quit my job out of emotional reasons that have been building up and I went back to my old job and I’ve never been so depressed in my life for the past 2 weeks!! And that’s saying a lot because I’m 49 years old and just got ADHD dx age 45. I felt like I went backwards and even though everyone told me I made the right decision including my therapist, I went back to the job I quit and my boss and coworkers have been SO nice and supportive welcoming me back and I quit with no notice. I cried when I went back I know I made the right decision for me. Maybe not forever but for right now I know it’s best for me because I am growing there and I left my old job because I was dying. Those 2 weeks I could barely get up and go to work I was so depressed. They are nice people and it pains me that I hurt them. Especially because I am so grateful to have jobs ❤ But I have to do what is best for me and I am getting a 2nd chance even though I made an ADHD emotional life changing decision. I was able to learn and I am happy for you. Don’t go back. Not yet. Not like this. 💛🙏🏻
Dr K healthygamer on YT said something along the lines of, if you feel angry and wanting to start a fight, don’t act on it. Let that emotion pass. Even after a day or two, you still think (rationally) it’s necessary to address the issue, then by all means do. I think this applies to a lot of emotions, not just anger. Whatever that disturbs me emotionally, I let it pass. If that problem or situation persists after two days, I’d address it.
thank you for sharing. I always feel that decisions i make are somewhat wrong, but when I'm in a better state of mind, they turn out to be quite good and i realize i shouldn't be so hard on myself and should love myself more
Ong I feel you. I worked at a job that was did shipping and papers and I would have issues with executive dysfunction. Dropping or picking up things. I also have commitment issues with work but I think it’s cause I need flexibility. I’ve been focusing on doing seasonal work or temporary jobs more. I feel the same way with the basket example you gave which turns out to be common with adhd cause of invalidation of our struggles and Brain. I have been comparing myself too and feeling like everyone was given a handbook on life while I didn’t. I have been exercising to be patient with myself.
Accepting how replaceable you are is so important. It teaches you to make effort for your own sake, your own life's moments, the future self you create for yourself. You don't create better habits so others will praise you for how amazing you did at reshaping your future, and tell you how much they desire to have you around. You create better habits past the struggles, so you are in control of your life and your future. It's all for yourself. And because it's all for yourself, all the motivation and willpower has to come from within you; you have to create it when you need it. You can't wait for it to come from outside.
This is super relatable to me; I also live in Vancouver and have ADHD, and life can be tough with ADHD for sure. Vancouver is so expensive, and that mixed with having trouble with ADHD can definitely make things so difficult here. Anyway, good luck!
hi jingwen. thank you for uploading this video and thank you for reminding us that bad situations doesn't mean a bad life and that we shouldn't let our emotions control us. i am struggling with those specific issues right now. ironically, you telling us that you feel alone, made me feel that i am not alone. i saw that you can overcome all the situations you are experiencing and that gave me hope that i can too. again, thank you!
That feeling that we want to just run away. I do that, I cancel all contact with others, do the bare minimum, and shrink down only doing the bare minimum to avoid being more of a burden to people sort of.
I was willing to sink with the ship in the early 2000's. They threw me out to save the ship in 2008. Years later(other jobs), I find having enough money is not enough, it's never enough. But also I have to consider if I'm not happy it's a me, not them thing.
I think its very inspirational how open and vulnerable you are! I just found your channel and am happy I did. Looking forward to hear about all the good moments that will come for you ❤
Oh my goodness, are you me perhaps? The way this video made me choke and sob multiple times. I was so happy for you by the end of it, and I wish you only the most beautiful things in life. I need to start being as surgically authentic with myself as you have been.
Thank you so much for honestly sharing your life and thoughts. Its very relatable, I think a lot of people are having a hard time nowadays. All the best to you, I wish that everything works out for you in the future.
Hello from Brazil! Your story resonates with mine in a lot of points. It is refreshing to see how you are copying. I am searching for a coach for myself too. I feel extremely bad for forgetting things, which I think leads to me forgetting even more things. Having had a bad leader only increased this feeling... Although I had better ones and more human ones, I still feel I don't deserve the nice things I have and revive the abuse I went trough with her. I need to change that
When it gets to the plottwist at the end I GOT SO MAD, HOW COULD THEM?? AND THEY EVEN READ YOU HEART-OPENING LETTER AND DIDNT REMEMBER THEYRE ONLY JOB lol Glad everything turns out fine, this story really inspired me thank you ❤❤
Beware any coach who doesn't offer to cancel any time. There are much cheaper options out there, but worth learning what makes a good coach from a bad one first.
You are brave for moving in to Canada at 15. Yes I agree working so hard for small pay is a bummer. If you really want to quit try taking unpaid leave (like for week )or say you have family issues or burnout. Glad they took you back and sorted out your pay. Just my opinion. Hope things turn out great for you.
It wasn't that you were replaceable. Pretty much as soon as someone decides that they are out their attitude changes despite their best efforts. They are just bad juju, bad energy for the rest of the staff. I agree with your boss. You're either in or out. Not you specifically, anybody. Stay or go but don't stick around with all your interstitial energy bad vibing the place.
How has the adhd life coaching been for you? I heard most life coaches are scams because they don’t have appropriate training/qualifications versus like a therapist for instance. Which one are you using and how has it been?
I wouldn't say they are all scams but more so that there aren't qualifications to do that so it's all subjective. You would have to ask what their experience is in or their trainin and decide for yourself if you think that would make them knowledgeable to be your adhd coach 😊.
I have generic advice for anyone in this position and its something i guarantee you have never thought of. If you want to know let me know and we can chat somewhere
"I have worked too hard to be this broke." GIRL. SAME. That hit my soul. It's hard. Thanks for being so transparent. It really helps.
Thanks for watching!
I don't wanna sound corny or nothing, but this video came at a perfect time in my life. It feels cathartic hearing someone, who is not me, verbalize what I feel and what's going on in my head. It's hard because each year I get older I feel more and more like lost potential as opposed to celebrating getting older and other lifetime events. I always want to do more to prove myself, and then I burn out and am faced with a wave of self-hatred for how "lazy" I'm being. Also, even when try to give yourself some grace, thoughts of whether you're actually neurodivergent/ going through a depressive episode/experiencing the symptoms that it hard to function, or am just making excuses.
You are definitely not making excuses and sometimes it's not depression, it's a burnout and that's completely different. It won't be cured with medication, your body and mind need to rest and that can be 1 month or a few months or even a yr.
Trust me when I tell you you aren't alone and all of the feelings you've shared are also experienced by others including myself. Thank you for sharing
That’s why I want to be honest with it. So less people can feel like they are alone! 🎉❤
Yeah, that basket or picking up one thing and dropping another is exactly what happens. It's so important to balance. It looks like everyone else is doing it so easily. Just keep pressing forward I guess, but one day we have to pick ourselves up and figure out who we really want to be. So much of this resonates.
That basket analogy is too real!! But I also think it’s part of life and I think that everyone’s struggling in our community in one way or another but will never tell you right! We’re all saving face. There isn’t enough time to have it all, so we have to pick and choose!
The basket thing! I was diagnosed 2 years ago and before that, I would periodically cry to my therapist saying that I felt I was juggling too many things (work, friends, family, myself, etc) and the slightest change in life would make me drop everything. I was missing the basket part. At that time (before diagnosis) I thought everyone found it hard to work and also do laundry to have clean clothes to go to work and I was just lazy… Now I know that’s not the case, but the basket analogy is great.
The basket thing - we can only hold a few things in our attention. This happened to me all my life.
Oh my god! I LITERALLY just did the same exact thing!!! And I really loved your video! It was insightful and motivating. I quit my job out of emotional reasons that have been building up and I went back to my old job and I’ve never been so depressed in my life for the past 2 weeks!! And that’s saying a lot because I’m 49 years old and just got ADHD dx age 45. I felt like I went backwards and even though everyone told me I made the right decision including my therapist, I went back to the job I quit and my boss and coworkers have been SO nice and supportive welcoming me back and I quit with no notice. I cried when I went back I know I made the right decision for me. Maybe not forever but for right now I know it’s best for me because I am growing there and I left my old job because I was dying. Those 2 weeks I could barely get up and go to work I was so depressed. They are nice people and it pains me that I hurt them. Especially because I am so grateful to have jobs ❤ But I have to do what is best for me and I am getting a 2nd chance even though I made an ADHD emotional life changing decision. I was able to learn and I am happy for you. Don’t go back. Not yet. Not like this. 💛🙏🏻
Dr K healthygamer on YT said something along the lines of, if you feel angry and wanting to start a fight, don’t act on it. Let that emotion pass. Even after a day or two, you still think (rationally) it’s necessary to address the issue, then by all means do.
I think this applies to a lot of emotions, not just anger. Whatever that disturbs me emotionally, I let it pass. If that problem or situation persists after two days, I’d address it.
Good advice
I legit haven't even watched the entire video, yet one thing's for sure. I am gonna support you on your journey as much as I can.
thank you for sharing. I always feel that decisions i make are somewhat wrong, but when I'm in a better state of mind, they turn out to be quite good and i realize i shouldn't be so hard on myself and should love myself more
I get the juggling and picking up one thing and then dropping the other thing. I get it so much!
Ong I feel you. I worked at a job that was did shipping and papers and I would have issues with executive dysfunction. Dropping or picking up things. I also have commitment issues with work but I think it’s cause I need flexibility. I’ve been focusing on doing seasonal work or temporary jobs more.
I feel the same way with the basket example you gave which turns out to be common with adhd cause of invalidation of our struggles and Brain.
I have been comparing myself too and feeling like everyone was given a handbook on life while I didn’t.
I have been exercising to be patient with myself.
Accepting how replaceable you are is so important.
It teaches you to make effort for your own sake, your own life's moments, the future self you create for yourself.
You don't create better habits so others will praise you for how amazing you did at reshaping your future, and tell you how much they desire to have you around.
You create better habits past the struggles, so you are in control of your life and your future.
It's all for yourself. And because it's all for yourself, all the motivation and willpower has to come from within you; you have to create it when you need it. You can't wait for it to come from outside.
I quit my job to travel and go to graduate school. I'm also rapidly going broke and can't find my next job. Yeah, it's probably ADHD.
This is super relatable to me; I also live in Vancouver and have ADHD, and life can be tough with ADHD for sure. Vancouver is so expensive, and that mixed with having trouble with ADHD can definitely make things so difficult here. Anyway, good luck!
hi jingwen. thank you for uploading this video and thank you for reminding us that bad situations doesn't mean a bad life and that we shouldn't let our emotions control us. i am struggling with those specific issues right now. ironically, you telling us that you feel alone, made me feel that i am not alone. i saw that you can overcome all the situations you are experiencing and that gave me hope that i can too. again, thank you!
That feeling that we want to just run away. I do that, I cancel all contact with others, do the bare minimum, and shrink down only doing the bare minimum to avoid being more of a burden to people sort of.
Yes…always want to run away
I was willing to sink with the ship in the early 2000's. They threw me out to save the ship in 2008. Years later(other jobs), I find having enough money is not enough, it's never enough. But also I have to consider if I'm not happy it's a me, not them thing.
I think its very inspirational how open and vulnerable you are! I just found your channel and am happy I did. Looking forward to hear about all the good moments that will come for you ❤
Thank you so much!
Oh my goodness, are you me perhaps? The way this video made me choke and sob multiple times. I was so happy for you by the end of it, and I wish you only the most beautiful things in life. I need to start being as surgically authentic with myself as you have been.
Your story was so beautiful! I am now a subscriber.
Thank you so much for honestly sharing your life and thoughts. Its very relatable, I think a lot of people are having a hard time nowadays. All the best to you, I wish that everything works out for you in the future.
=) keep making videos. Your authenticity and candor is refreshing Jingwen. I hope things are getting better everyday for you 🙏
You always have control!! Think outside the box homie
Hello from Brazil! Your story resonates with mine in a lot of points. It is refreshing to see how you are copying. I am searching for a coach for myself too. I feel extremely bad for forgetting things, which I think leads to me forgetting even more things. Having had a bad leader only increased this feeling... Although I had better ones and more human ones, I still feel I don't deserve the nice things I have and revive the abuse I went trough with her. I need to change that
When it gets to the plottwist at the end I GOT SO MAD, HOW COULD THEM?? AND THEY EVEN READ YOU HEART-OPENING LETTER AND DIDNT REMEMBER THEYRE ONLY JOB lol
Glad everything turns out fine, this story really inspired me thank you ❤❤
Hahahah my bosses are very very busy. And they apologize to me right after. It was the accountant who forgot about it. 😂
@@adhd_alex23I was shocked that they forgot, until I remembered I am the person responsible for payments in my job and already did this too 🙈
Hi.
Very brave to speak so honestly 😊
You certainly gave me a boost💎🙏😎
I'm so glad!
Beware any coach who doesn't offer to cancel any time. There are much cheaper options out there, but worth learning what makes a good coach from a bad one first.
1:13 me as an american every single day of my life 🤣🤣
🤣🤣
Thank you so much. Made me cry but ended it smiling.
I'm so glad!
This was very relatavke to me, I hope things are going better right now for you
Much much better
I left my job for similar reasons recently. This is all very oddly specific for me.
Thanks
Hope you felt better soon ❤
Thank you for sharing this!
You are brave for moving in to Canada at 15.
Yes I agree working so hard for small pay is a bummer.
If you really want to quit try taking unpaid leave (like for week )or say you have family issues or burnout.
Glad they took you back and sorted out your pay.
Just my opinion. Hope things turn out great for you.
This made me reflect so bad 😅
You just earned a subscriber. 🎉
Recently found out I have adhd.
Very nice video and story, cheered me up a lot :)
Glad you enjoyed it!
living in big cities is hella expensive...
is it okay to ask what field you are working in? 🥺
It wasn't that you were replaceable. Pretty much as soon as someone decides that they are out their attitude changes despite their best efforts. They are just bad juju, bad energy for the rest of the staff. I agree with your boss. You're either in or out. Not you specifically, anybody. Stay or go but don't stick around with all your interstitial energy bad vibing the place.
Wow. Thanks for this.
How has the adhd life coaching been for you? I heard most life coaches are scams because they don’t have appropriate training/qualifications versus like a therapist for instance. Which one are you using and how has it been?
I wouldn't say they are all scams but more so that there aren't qualifications to do that so it's all subjective. You would have to ask what their experience is in or their trainin and decide for yourself if you think that would make them knowledgeable to be your adhd coach 😊.
ah i want to cry
How is treated the adhd in China? :)
You need a book keeping for your income/expenses.
This economy sucks. That's why there has been a massive uptick in sugar babies running round here.
Are you medicated by any chance?
Yea I am!
@@adhd_alex23 Shit man, rough. have you tried multiple medications, if so which one have you landed on?
❤
Thank you for sharing!! Your story was helpful to me! (◠‿◠)
lol fk it
$400 in the bank? Cap.
I have generic advice for anyone in this position and its something i guarantee you have never thought of. If you want to know let me know and we can chat somewhere
❤