So You Want to Write a Novel
Вставка
- Опубліковано 27 сер 2024
- VISIT ME AT: www.davidkazzie...
Like The Walking Dead? Check out my post-apocalyptic novels, THE IMMUNE and THE LIVING, on Kindle:
amzn.to/1BKk5gf
Also check out my bestselling legal thriller, THE JACKPOT, on Kindle: amzn.to/1xIvw5S
Read reviews and a book description here: bit.ly/lLIZvd
Email me: dwkazzieATgmailDOTcom
Twitter: / davidkazzie
Copyright Notice:
Script: © 2010 David Kazzie. All rights reserved.
Animation: Provided by Xtranormal.com
The biggest dream writers used to have was changing the world. Now it's getting readers past the first few pages.
This should be mandatory viewing BEFORE you sign up for that college "Creative Writing" class you think is the only training you will ever need.
I know someone who
Majored and got a degree in creative writing it was an actual joke that they spent that kind of money
I've heard versions of this in college creative writing classes.
90% of the stories in that class were:
Men- A mindblowing TWIST ending! (this was during the height of M. Knight)
Women - Suicide over a breakup, or revenge against a guy over a breakup
I had a client who lives this delusion in every detail.
***** My former client was just turned down for representation by a PR firm and he blamed me. He was dumb enough to include the full email thread in his email to me so I could see where he bitched to the PR firm that his editor was a "Chicago liberal" and that I didn't like him. I called the publicist and we had a great chat. Meanwhile, he posted to his Facebook page that you have to "Endure when those around you are against you." Because we're blind to his genius apparently.
@@DagnyKight wow. I wish I had the confidence of a mediocre white guy
''i might base a character off you'' if he is real and he actually wrote a novel i'd read it just to see that character
Painfully accurate picture of many of my clients...dealt with one of these today, in fact. I am happy to help new writers, no problem, but there is a subset that is absolutely like this, just completely closed to advice or common sense, whose impossible expectations are entirely at odds with their complete lack of work ethic or preparedness. Whose self-image has no relationship to the real world. A rough rule of thumb seems to be, the more certain they are they're great, the more work their manuscript needs, while the more modest beginners are usually the better prepared and the fastest leaners....
Dr. Robert Runte the Dunning Kruger effect
You should do a video like this one called "So you want to start a business"
“I’ll just call a few, and let them fight over me.” I’m an aspiring author and yea I’m still learning a lot about the craft, but NEVER has this crossed my mind. How can something be so hilarious and so painful to hear at the same time😂
I like his confidence. If he's able to maintain his confidence after facing the hurdles she mentioned, he'll be a hit.
David Kazzle, I just viewed your hysterical, "So You Want to Write a Novel." Thank you for your cut-to-the-quick insights. Brilliant! And, because you turned me into a David Kazzle fan in under five minutes, I'm going to check out other work of yours. Thanks again, David.
thanks Bob - that's awesome. Glad you enjoyed the video.
I did not even like beer before I read this book!. download mp3 version @ tinyurl . com \ ncglh2u . remove spaces.
This is hysterical! As a novelist, there's great info in here. What a great way to push realism in such a humorous way.
This is hilarious, but so true for some people.
is this how Twilight was made?
No, because the guy was thinking about his book idea first.
No. The guy in this video was a he and he was thinking about his idea first before he wrote it. Stephanie Meyer clearly wasn't planning her book before she dove in and typed up garbage on a page.
+Amelia Allen if writing garbage on a page makes you become a millionaire heck sign me up
No but its how Fifty Shades was written
If you're thinking of writing a novel...watch this. Thank you, David Kazzie!
This video was interesting and hilarious. I'm currently revisioning my novel (Which will be around five volumes). Writting isn't hard once you get the hang of it (I've been writting since I was six years old and never read too many books/novels most likely films). I laughed mostly at 04:11 - 04:16. I'll admit that happens to me, regardless. As I'm always writting plots for new novels, I don't waste many time with them, unless I've finished plotting and writting the current one. Before writting a novel, you should at least check if you have the least following things ready.
1- Plotline. This includes most of the chapters or scenes that you know and remember perfectly. It will be a shame to end up with writers block. Which thankfully I've never encountered thanks to being prepared before smashing the keyboard.
2- Character's personalitie. Make everyone feel unique and don't change their personas through out the chapter, unless they've learned or dealt with something. (example: some people start writing a character who is always glum, and ends up being chirpy)
TIPS
1- Be confident, and if tired infront of the computer screen (typewriter) with no words being written. Take a break and let your brain breathe, that good sense of flow that makes you write more than ten pages doesn't arrive everytime. Especially if you're a novice.
2- If you don't like reading, than I'll doubt you'll like writting. Start reading a book or two and observe thoroughly the voices of each different author. Don't be a copyist, but try and fine your own voice in writting. I always pertain the voice of a writter with the same style as a person who draws, (okay let's leave it at a simile), my point is, as much as we all draw differently, we also write differently.
3. Start writting a genere which you think you'd be good at. slice of life, comedy, science fiction, horror, etc.
4. Try and write a few ramdom scenes on paper or word (anyother software or item). Don't build a plot, just write! First thing that comes to mind! (and morph them into different generes if possible. Remember these will serve as pratctice only).
5. Don't ever worry about being published or self-publishing before you finish the novel/book. After all, why worry to publish a novel/book that doesn't exist?
6. Don't do it for money, women/man wealth, fame or anything else. Do it for yourself, do it for the smiles of people through out the globe. Speak to them with your novel, make them laugh, cry, smile, grouse... Because at the end, without anything left of spirit or feelings inside us... We're no longer human... (At least I without conjecture, believe it to be.)
7. And the most important... Have fun..!
I lost it at 0:16
Reading is an important part of being a writer. Though, it's not so much about quantity as it is diversity. It's important to see what ideas are out there, the extent of what you can do with a story, learning what works and what doesn't work for you in terms of how you communicate. As you said, it's more important to have something to write about, but reading widely and often will provide a vaster amount of tools with which to craft your story.
I have a great idea for a novel (about a person who's like me who does some heroic stuff and has sex) that you can do all the work actually writing, and editing and having proofread, and getting published, and promoting, that I get to take 90% of the credit for, because I thought of the IDEA.
David, this is brilliant. I'm a script writer and I can't believe I didn't think of this! When I read about the animations in Writer's Digest, I had to get on UA-cam and see them. Genius!
I haven't seen that kind of drive before. He just might do it. Lol
As a guy who has almost finished final editing on his first novel I can say this is pretty much exactly what I was like when I started.
...and years later...not much has changed.
I have 7 books finished and did nothing with them because I didn't know how and I wrote them for pleasure anyway. But APE now shows me how to get them out there. Still doesn't look easy. Writing is definitely easier than editing or publishing that's for sure.
Sounds like a conversation I had with my ex in the final months of our relationship....sans gun. He never wrote anything and insisted he could make a living as a writer, except he had never written anything!
Guy Kawasaki sent me, good vid
I've been writing fiction since kindergarten (coincidentally I learned to read and write early) and when I was in sixth grade, I finished my first novel. It was absolute horseshit. Fast forward to 10th grade, still trying to write a publishable one, and though the one I'm working on right now is pretty decent, it will need a lot of editing. Oh, well. Someday. :D
So how's that going now
It's interesting to revist this video after 10 years realizing the publishing industry has changed drastically. It's become a lot more political and agenda oriented. You don't need an agent anymore, you don't need to know somebody who knows somebody, and you can self publish within a year. It's definitely swung in favor of the author now.
Sadly standards of quality have plummeted on both fronts of publishing, and there's far less readers out there. But yeah, otherwise was thinking the same.
Yes I agree, I misfired my reply to the wrong person. Perseverance is most definitely a contributor to realizing goals!
@TheParthianbow7 Great! Thanks for the kind words. So glad you liked it.
A few years ago, I helped a new author named Martha Tucker put together "The Mayor's Wife Word Sapphires," a political thriller. It was Martha's debut novel--but it was special. It has a unique realism that only an insider could give it.
That novel has piled up a small mountain of writing awards. Its sales were the springboard that Martha used to start up a novel marketing group, PremierWriters.
Was Martha arrogant about it? No. If I hadn't pushed her, it would never have been finished.
Your comment has nothing to do with what I posted. My point was that even famous or established writers get turned down by publishing houses. Therefore, perseverance pays off.
Oh mercy! A wonderful work! I loved it! Hope it explodes across the Internet. I did post it on Facebook. It deserves a HUGE audience.
Oh this is too perfect. I am aspiring writer as well...and this is just awesome...ha ha, I love how this represents how important it is to research writing/publishing and making sure to read! Ah and the robotic voices are great, by the way.
.......I sincerely hope I'm not this stupid. -_-
Homura Bakura I am ... hehehe
I've heard these exact statements from would be writers, but only thought what the lady is thinking out loud. Sad but true. Dwkazzie, you hit the nail right on the head. Nice job. You are indeed a good writer. Keep writing.
I bow to you. I'm a writer with 6 nationally published books and I teach writing. This is the most intelligent, sane and funny take on books/publishing in 2010. I'm sending it to my agent, my students and anybody else who will help it go viral. You're welcome to my real name: Mary Sojourner
Interesting that she mentioned Stephen King's book, "On Writing, A Memoir of the Craft." The book tells how King wrote "Carrie" and got it published. What it doesn't say is that it was submitted 30 times before it was accepted. Another book, "The Help" was submitted 60 times, and "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenace" (which every bookstore has) was submitted 121 times. Good Luck.
I think it's suggesting that not everyone's cut out for it.
This is fantastic. Great clip, and so true. just look a any writer`s group.
GENIUS, I showed this in English as part of my project everyone laughed. Now I think I'll go write a novel
@tawnafenske thanks -- so glad you guys liked it.
"Do you want to be a ghost writer for me? I will cut you in for 10%."
"I have a gun in my car."
I'm in love.
I just finished my first novel, according to everybody who's read it it's great. But since I'm 12 I'm never going to get published for at least 10 years. But my mom is sending it to a stamping web site to order it in the right format. So my novel will be on book shelves, just my book shelf and the shelves of friends and family.
Four words. You are a genius.
This was amazing and the flat voices were the cherry on the sundae of hilarity XD
that's so true, agents take on less and less prospective writers, maybe 2 a year and they have to be extremely good and special. Having worked in publishing, I wouldn't even try to write a novel, it's a waste of time. Advances are slimmer and slimmer for first time novelists (on average $5,000) and their books don't stand a chance in book shops, where they stay for two weeks max and sell maybe 2,000 copies if they are lucky. Try blogging instead, you have much more chances to actually be read!
This is hysterical!! I know newbies who have said this stuff. I've also had the "I'll give you 10% of the profits. ' phrase. LOL!!
My agent shared this with me this morning and I haven't laughed so hard in ages. Way to hit the nail on the head!
That ending! "I have a gun in my car. I'm going to go get it."
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
I've been writing for years and I find this not only funny, but helpful as well. I've been reading Stephen King's "On Fiction" (I know it should be italicized or underlined, but I haven't figured that out here yet) and it's an amazing book. This video contains facts that many aspiring writers do not know and I've picked up facts from books about writing. As Stephen King said "If you don't have the time to read, you don't have the time (or tools) to write."
Hilariously put, and valid advice on the craft of novel writing!!
Right on! I'm just pointing folks to this video so I don't have to explain to them about all the ins and outs of writing/publishing. Keep up the good work--and I hope you get to direct the "movie version" soon! LOL!! :)
Curious about the Japanese setting which recalls another humorous book "From Those Wonderful Folks Who Gave You Pearl Harbor: Front Line Dispatches from the Advertising War" Hardcover - June 8, 1970
by Jerry Della Femina (Author)
4.2 out of 5 stars 48 customer reviews
“I’m going to take a copy to Random House.”
“I think my heart just stopped.”
LMAOOOO 😂🤣
MacAllister sent me over. Man this is spot on for an unbelievable number of people. Made me laugh a lot.
This is hilarious! I wrote my first full novel at age 12 and started querying at 13. I got a partial manuscript request. Now, at age 19, I've learned so much more, and am working on draft #3 of my current novel.
This is hysterical David, well done!
I love how the automatically-generated Google ad on the side of this video is for "Outskirts Press: Write. Publish. Market." IRONY!
Speaking as an aspiring writer who follows the brown one's advice, that is hilarious. One of the agents whose blog I follow shared this.
Actually, I think he has a good point. Being closed to any advice might be good if you want to make a real break through. Of course, then you don't have to expect publishers' help or even to find an agent. The right bunny (or who is it) did not state brief enough the main idea: you either play by rules or play by your own + find other writers who could support your rules if you want to spread your word. And either way forget about being paid soon.
As for me, around 5% of best novellists (in Russian literature of the 20-21 centuries) were total dilettantes. I think that's a lot.
@dwkazzie Oh my ears and whiskers. I think I love you. I also think it was a good thing I wasn't drinking anything when I watched this. If I had a nickle for every time I heard a variation on this stuff, I wouldn't need to write another word, ever.
Yeah!
I'm an aspiring writer and even I know it's going to be a difficult road. Not impossible, but very difficult to even get someone to notice you.
There's a lot of truth in this like they said below, but I wrote and published a novel all myself in a month, and published it with kindle direct publishing for free. And have sold 46, and I wrote it in one month when I was 15.
LOL. I once worked on a local access program for writers, actors and tech people to get experience in tv drama. One writer quit, because he wanted to crash a car through the studio wall. I tried to explain that the studio wouldn't allow that. He angrily said that it was integral to his story, which was going to launch his career because it was the first in a series, and after "they" saw how great he was, "Hollywood" would want to produce his series, and we would be able to tell people we gave him his start -- but first he had to crash that car through the studio wall. I assured him that the local access cable studio was not going to let him crash a car through the studio wall, and did not have money for the CG. His script was awful. He quit the series before taping (thank you, God) and was never heard from again.
Ever since I've written that last comment I've basically re-written the entire book. The only thing that's the same is the basic story. I had my sister (Who doesn't care about sparing my feelings) edit it and I realized that it wasn't that great. But now it's at least OK. And it is going to be published. Just on the Kindle store, but I still get royalties. So I can tell people that I'm a professional writer. (Not really but you get what I mean)
To clarify; it was copyrighted the moment you set the words to print. That's Copyright Law. But don't confuse that with Registered Copyright, which is easier to defend in court should plagiarism issues arise from someone trying to steal your work. You cannot, however, Copyright words, ideas or titles; only the presentation of those words. (If you could Copyright ideas, for example, no one could write a book about a school for wizards, because Rowling already did.)
I'm by no means saying you should give up on it, it's great and a step not many are able to take to actually finish something, but exciting and satisfying as that may be, chances are it's not really good at all, and you should try to look at it critically, it's important to be able to evaluate your work properly in order to improve. 2/2
Hahahaha!!! Normally I hate the text-to-speech videos, but this one was really entertaining! Good job!
This is a good guide for shortcuts to success.
Instead of lunching with potential clients, I can send them here now. It covers most of my FAQs and I don't have to keep a straight face.
For added irony, don't miss the sponsored links: they're from businesses who depend on characters like our wannabe here.
Having an idea for a novel is only the first step. It's everything else that's the real hard work. It's very difficult to do a good job at telling a story, with good characterisation, compelling writing, proper pacing and no loose ends.
Coincidentally, the video mentions Stepehen King's "On Writing". In that book, King complains that new writers who come to him for advise never ask him about the language. The PROSE is just as important as the content of the novel. It takes YEARS to master the craft of putting words together, but a lot of amateur writers underestimate the importance of prose. That's why so many writers have enough imagination to come up with an interesting story but are terrible storytellers. Sorry, but even if your idea is original if your writing style sucks your novel's going to suck, there's no way around that.
There's a lot of Truth in this! But I think that it could apply to all professional writing. People assume that because they can speak English that they can "write." Few people realize how difficult it is to write well, and it's even more difficult to get a novel published.
It's being edited right now so it's not copyrighted yet. I can't tell you, for legal reasons. But if you're interested I can send you a message once it's done?
If you enroll in kdp select there's an option that amazon pays you whenever someone borrows from lend me library.
I can hardly tell you how much I love this. This was me at fourteen. Looking back three years later, I make myself cringe at how I thought I would write a book.
The pink one is Stephanie Meyer.
Hilarious! Oh how I wish I did not hear much of this so often. The line, "If I could kill you and get away with I could" slayed me. But I think of turning the gun on myself, but thank goodness only for a moment.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Yeah...I've had this same conversation with MANY people. Love it!! So typical of people who know NOTHING about writing a book. Nicely done.
Could be SO much funnier with VoiceOver, let me know if you'd like to do that. You can hear some of my voices at proaudiovoices.com. Could be hysterical, but the flat computer voices are killing it.
You don't *have* to be a bookworm, but if you read a lot you'll have a better understanding of structure, character development, how to reveal new information and keeping the reader engaged and so on and so forth. That doesn't mean that reading a lot makes you a good writer, just like watching your dad drive a couple of times doesn't make you a good driver. But the remark is also about this, how could someone expect to be good at something he doesn't enjoy and might even find boring and stupid?
I just wanted to say: Good for you! We need more kids who are willing to put in the work rather than jumping straight to thinking they're going to be bestsellers. :) Also be aware, though, that it is a possibility for you to get published as a minor; I wrote my first (complete) novel at thirteen, began querying at fifteen, and had my first full manuscript requests at sixteen. It is possible for a kid to get published, as long as you work hard enough at it. Go ahead and try, and see what happens!
This was priceless! Thank you for posting, I shared in on my FB page.
This is one our self-publishing authors must see! Good way to test their sense of humour before they embark on their great literary journey!
@paladinrover well, I'll give you a small reference, roald dahl (one writer that you cannot get bored of)... "one of his English teachers writing in his school report "I have never met anybody who so persistently writes words meaning the exact opposite of what is intended" what do you read to learn that? I see literature as an art form in that, learning how to express what you feel is much more important than reading books from the drearily dull...
I love this. As a future publisher, this is so true!
Pink bear's got a good attitude. Unfortunately brown bear is realistic but do the brown bears actually ever get published? She may be realistic but with that attitude I doubt she will even want to start writing. I'll bet a lot of published writers had pink bears attitude and that's what kept them going without getting bored and discouraged. I've been an aspiring writer too and brown bear view is what happens to most aspiring writers. But whose got more imagination?
Holy shit, I had to take a break at the 1 minute mark. I'm in tears!
This was posted on my birthday! But two years ago I wouldn't have understood this video. Thank goodness I do. :D
Hilarious and totally true. I do admire the unbridled enthusiasm of would-be bestselling authors but once in a while you do get someone who just doesn't want to hear how the business works. Fortunately, the vast majority of my clients are willing to hear the truth, retain their optimism anyway--and get to work!
This is awesome! Going to share this on my fan page on FB "Life After Wrap".
No point in hating if you don't actually know what you're looking for... matter of fact reading doesn't make you any better at writing, WRITING and listening to CONSTRUCTIVE criticism makes you better at writing
This is some of the funniest stuff I have ever seen on the web. Awesome! Great dialogue...
@dmanuel08 actually, it hadn't crossed my mind, but it does seem appropriate! my main motive for doing it was pure self-interest -- given all the "So You Want To..." videos that have popped up recently, I was amazed no one had done a novel one (at least that I could find), so I wanted to be the first. how's THAT for some pre-Thanksgiving honesty!
"You may actually inspire all the agents in New York to come hunt you down with pitchforks, and burn you at the stake." XD
whoa! i finished stephen king's on writing last week! it's one of my favorite writing books!
I love how people watching this video miss the whole point that writing something worthwhile takes time and practice, it's not something you jump into. She's not calling new writers idiots, she's saying you can't be serious about writing if you don't even like reading!!!! Reading is fundamental!!! Read, Read, Read, Read, Read!!!! Then Write, Write, Write, Write, Write your ass off!!!
*Thank you for your time*
so brilliant- so true, the dead-pan tone just makes it worse. Picking myself off the floor AGAIN!
Oh man. I saw this video years ago. It's still perfect.
Thank you. THIS VIDEO IS SOOO OLD NOW
David Kazzie I knowww. I was practically a baby when I found it. But every baby writer should watch this video!
Honestly i just write novels for fun so.e times i will put them online sure but i don't expect to make a huge profit for me it's a way for me to express one of my many passions in life
Thank you for the truth layered with humor and topped with laughter. I might have seconds.
@thejojoshabadoo Actually, reading can help. For example, I read the books of Stephan Donaldson because I learn something about writing from every one. Sometimes, it's a new word; sometimes, a plot or character technique. It's not so much that I write the same way Donaldson does, however. It's more like I improve my writer's (and editor's) set of tools from reading his works.
This video is awesome and so true. Every writer starts off doing or thinking atleast one of the things that pink dude is saying.