Deciding to Separate | {THE AND} Mishal & Elliott (Part 1)

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  • Опубліковано 5 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 1,1 тис.

  • @GracefullyKaren
    @GracefullyKaren 6 років тому +2106

    Key Points I took away: Stop avoiding confrontation. Find a way to approach things before they escalate. Listen when your partner speaks. Don't dismiss the issue. Get your point across in a respectful manner. The way a person is raised plays a lot in how they interact with people and see life.

    • @isidoraveronica
      @isidoraveronica 6 років тому +32

      Queen Karen exactly and relationships are not as easy as they seem

    • @judithep.8604
      @judithep.8604 6 років тому +5

      Well said

    • @Sweeettt.Caroline
      @Sweeettt.Caroline 6 років тому +4

      Great points !

    • @reerbaadia1896
      @reerbaadia1896 6 років тому +27

      You're a keeper my queen. But the moist important is remembering all that in challenging times.

    • @muffindolphindaphnee
      @muffindolphindaphnee 6 років тому +3

      Queen Karen as your name says ... QUEEN haha

  • @PomegranateStaindGrn
    @PomegranateStaindGrn 6 років тому +1606

    Just because it doesn’t last forever doesn’t mean it wasn’t real for the time.

  • @shanicejoseph170
    @shanicejoseph170 6 років тому +1804

    Why is everyone breaking up!!!!!!! Its slightly depressing

    • @evie6533
      @evie6533 6 років тому +3

      Shanice Joseph Who else is?

    • @Patshawna
      @Patshawna 6 років тому +38

      Ellie Ellie Channing Tatum & his wife lol

    • @stephaniec.6388
      @stephaniec.6388 6 років тому +34

      it's because mercury is in retrograde :///

    • @trevorncube808
      @trevorncube808 6 років тому +45

      slightly? it's intensely depressing.. is love even a thing anymore

    • @etf42
      @etf42 6 років тому +10

      indefinite monogamous relationships are extremely unnatural for humans. thats why 'marriage' was created.

  • @lichi1244eva
    @lichi1244eva 6 років тому +828

    I am sad about this. I really liked them as a couple. Honestly, it makes me realize that you can't take relationships for granted. My husband and I have been together for 13 years and I know I want to be with him for the rest of my life but there are no guarantees, though I hope we will both give it our all.

    • @NissyBrown
      @NissyBrown 6 років тому +12

      lichi1244eva like wise with my husband and i 💛 all you can do is pray on it, and take it one day a time.

    • @kellz8260
      @kellz8260 6 років тому +10

      Its sad.. its also great to realize and except in a good way.. 18 years and felt same as u for whole time.. till now.. somtimes even if we think after this long we were in love.. we were not and somtimes to much is said bad and cannot be fixed. I say.. for advice to ANYONE.. do not tell him or her things in anger you do not mean.. because 13 years.. 18 whatever and it takes just this light moment where you CANNOT be the same again after just one word or the same words over and over.. and sooner or later you start to BELIEVE it.. and then there's no going back reguardless of whatever love you think u have.. its just care at that point if ANYTHING. 😑😊

    • @thenjiwemeyiwa167
      @thenjiwemeyiwa167 5 років тому +7

      You know what? You're spot-on. NEVER EVER TAKE EACH OTHER FOR GRANTED. As a divorced woman, that's what I strongly hold was the essence of the dissolution of my marriage,,, thinking and acting like WE'RE BOTH HERE AT ALL COST.
      My tiny advice is just that... And work on your marriage everyday, check it out and be the lookout just like what you do with the weather before you figure out what to wear,,, and just like your "What's for lunch or dinner" question. And, accordingly plan,,, & rework what's not working or strengthen that which works,,, towards putting your best foot, fit-for-the-purpose forward (just like we do daily preparing/ figuring out a proper outfit for the day.

    • @craigwa5346
      @craigwa5346 4 роки тому +2

      Coming from someone who has been unsuccessful in forming lasting relationships your words give me hope that there is someone out there for me that's compatible and willing put the time in.

  • @WorthyofMoreWithLitaV
    @WorthyofMoreWithLitaV 6 років тому +278

    Wow. I can see that the root is how they process pain and communication. He is emotionally abandoning her and the reason I say that is because when she presents her emotions to him and how she feels , he is unable to respond to affirm her which leaves her feeling like her expression of feeling is not valuable or understood . That draws a wedge between them. He is not doing it on purpose because he is shut down by the triggers. This is making him inoperable for the journey together as one. She has needs and he is unable to cover her emotionally as a husband because he is still broken in that area. The great part is, is that she loves him enough and understands him enough to know why and be patient with him, but at this point , she is left with a major need that she is tired of not getting met. I'm quite sure there are other factors but this one is major. As couples, there's must be a need to work on our single issues. These issues are the ones that are present with and without a partner, because our single issues effect our couple issues. I pray that He gets that because he needs it. I pray that God will send healing to him to be able to confront his past and how it made him feel so he can have a mindshift that will allow him to not see her words as darts but as words of truth that can be worked through. He reminds me of me. Avoidance is never key. Even if he moves on, he will not have the capacity to be that for the next woman. He must understand that his healing is detrimental to having healthy, happy , honest and open relationships in all places. It will be the best work of his life and once he is free , he will be able to love her more deeply and intimately because he will be allowing her into a new space. I pray that they both seek the guidance and don't give up. Marriage can be rough but it is the most glorious covenant God has made between two people. :)

    • @mishalmooremusic
      @mishalmooremusic 6 років тому +41

      Lita Lovely Valmon this brought me to tears. You are VERY observant. Thank you for these special and healing words! Mishal

    • @WorthyofMoreWithLitaV
      @WorthyofMoreWithLitaV 6 років тому +17

      mishalmooremusic You are absolutely welcome:) . As I was watching , God was just showing me what's happening and it saddened me because I know that pain can take its course and when it's not dealt with can cause havoc on things that are important to us , drawing things away that matter and it sucks . I saw that there was so much love present and I saw your frustration and defeat . I don't know your faith at all but just declare freedom over his life by speaking out loud that he will face what hurts and he will overcome this and if your heart desires to stay married , declare that this will be mended and that what lies on the other side will be a blessing of restoration beyond your dreams . God knows and he sees and He will work right along with your faith to see it through. There is this really awesome book that's helping me and many close to me called Your Pain Has a Past written by someone very dear to me that truly understands patterns and how to identify and break them. Definitely Check It Out If Your interested. Here's the link: I pray this helps www.lulu.com/shop/belinda-s-allen/your-pain-has-a-past/ebook/product-23583342.html
      God Bless :)

    • @orphansparrow2
      @orphansparrow2 6 років тому +17

      You are very emotionally intelligent. Really insightful. :)

    • @Pogglethelesser-bj9wp
      @Pogglethelesser-bj9wp 6 років тому +5

      Lita lovely Valm your awesome and I love your message.😍😍😊

    • @learnwithme1131
      @learnwithme1131 5 років тому +3

      Whoa...You are good. Are you a counselor?

  • @vyentro29
    @vyentro29 6 років тому +1201

    If Keisha and Andrew break up I'll flip a goddamn table.

    • @MegaCadette55
      @MegaCadette55 6 років тому +85

      or Ben and Sidra. damn! I hope not!

    • @DeeperThanMyThoughts
      @DeeperThanMyThoughts 6 років тому +7

      Leilani Andra 😂😂😂

    • @sarabsaiso
      @sarabsaiso 6 років тому +21

      Leilani Andra if that’s you in your profile picture, you’re so beautiful 😍😍😍

    • @vyentro29
      @vyentro29 6 років тому +12

      Sara Oh thank you! It is me. Lol.

    • @musingsofajay387
      @musingsofajay387 6 років тому +3

      when i saw them in the intro i freaked out lol

  • @buffdaddddddddy
    @buffdaddddddddy 6 років тому +283

    it is sad but i think we might be missing the point if sadness is our only reaction. i found it hopeful and gracious. to realize that the person you love so much is perhaps not the right person for your growth is a brave and generous thing to do. the fact that they can openly evaluate that "chapter" and say we did the best in that chapter is a beautiful way to look at it

  • @MrsTruthTeller
    @MrsTruthTeller 6 років тому +152

    She had pain in her eyes at the beginning but when she said, “that’s just who you are and it’s not for me” he immediately stopped smiling and I can see the fear of losing her crept into him. That’s why he said, “you talk like it’s over, I mean it’s not over yet.” These two had issues that could’ve easily been resolved through counseling but it seems that she is ready to move on from him and unfortunately when a woman is fed up and ready to go that’s usually always the end of a relationship.

  • @SherylS
    @SherylS 6 років тому +553

    Wow. I'm done. Dating is cancelled. There's no point.

    • @kissy0k8
      @kissy0k8 6 років тому +6

      Sheryl S lol

    • @keke555788
      @keke555788 5 років тому +4

      Exactly how I feel

    • @MrWatchmen759
      @MrWatchmen759 5 років тому +5

      Sheryl S you don’t even know them. How about focusing on your relationship smh females

    • @carameldarling2980
      @carameldarling2980 5 років тому +5

      @@MrWatchmen759 looool init, I never understood people who base their hope of finding love on UA-cam/Celebrity couples and marriages or even comparing yourself to social media relationships of couples you don't know anything about. Always found that odd

    • @MrWatchmen759
      @MrWatchmen759 5 років тому +1

      Caramel Darling me neither is so pathetic honestly. Women need to stop with this type of thinking

  • @missiemaya
    @missiemaya 6 років тому +830

    They can totally work through this.

    • @ayodejiboyede4594
      @ayodejiboyede4594 6 років тому +21

      I think she gave up trying n she almost got there tho'

    • @Traveler_18332
      @Traveler_18332 6 років тому +8

      I so want them to!!

    • @akinyiokeyo4618
      @akinyiokeyo4618 6 років тому +9

      missie maya Not advisable.... painful but let it be.

    • @KYRA_FX
      @KYRA_FX 6 років тому +3

      missie maya I really want them to 😹

    • @oraromaochi5584
      @oraromaochi5584 6 років тому +13

      missie maya any man can see that he wants out.

  • @RepentAndBelieve1437
    @RepentAndBelieve1437 6 років тому +269

    He did not want to be engaged in communication.. they had "conversations.." however communication goes deeper. He needs to mature in that area.. to actually care about her. Being ONE flesh. If you say you love someone then you should care for their feelings... he gave her the short end... all she wants to do is connect/intimacy [in-to-me-see]. Being selfish can really rob you of something really deep, raw, and real...

  • @ayodejiboyede4594
    @ayodejiboyede4594 6 років тому +94

    I think Elliot got the courtship easy n took it a little lightly, she worked more n he did less , then she was done, this is workable but he's not trying at alll

  • @lauraw1221
    @lauraw1221 6 років тому +442

    So special and rare to see a connection like these two have. Sad they broke up.. but i love the respect i see between them and how they want the other to succeed and be happy. I thi j thats the biggest form of love, wanting to see the other person happy

  • @chicagogirl14
    @chicagogirl14 6 років тому +634

    She is so gorgeous!

    • @KYRA_FX
      @KYRA_FX 6 років тому +17

      QueenJ her smile 😍

    • @mikaylahenderson3274
      @mikaylahenderson3274 6 років тому +6

      QueenJ You a damn lie.

    • @mikealan1984
      @mikealan1984 6 років тому +25

      That wig needs to go in the trash

    • @sheenabailey
      @sheenabailey 6 років тому +5

      QueenJ they both are. Hope they made some kids.

    • @seanparker2243
      @seanparker2243 6 років тому +1

      Sheena Bailey you got a man in your life?

  • @sagaAhWa
    @sagaAhWa 6 років тому +253

    Noo! They were my favourite couple! Can’t believe they broke up :(

  • @marimayn716
    @marimayn716 6 років тому +148

    I'm among the broken-hearted, yet I love their respect of each other

  • @nickylnr
    @nickylnr 6 років тому +312

    They know what the issue is.. They should go to counselling but I think they've already made up their minds

  • @breea07
    @breea07 6 років тому +348

    I hope they can work it out. Thy seem to just have different relationship languages. I can see what she means about him being dismissive. It’s very obvious that he doesn’t like conflict to the point of just agreeing to get her to stop talking instead of saying what he actually feels about it.

    • @etf42
      @etf42 6 років тому +4

      This is the perfect approach for men to take towards women along with never being afraid to let a woman go. Women's 'concerns' are usually trivial and inconsequential and women's emotions are always in a state of flux. Showing emotion and care for her concerns subconsciously makes you look WEAK and INSECURE and she will lose respect and attraction for you. All that matters is her BEHAVIOR, not her WORDS (case in point: she stayed with him for 13 years and will still take him back while he is ready to move on). Women THINK they want to be the prize, but in reality they want their man to be the prize. Relationships are woman's work. They are the natural 'deciders'. Men should simply build themselves to be as high value they can. The world then enters or leaves dependent on how valuable he is.

    • @HunniiChii
      @HunniiChii 6 років тому +24

      etf42 I bet the women come at you like hyenas

    • @etf42
      @etf42 6 років тому

      Highsgg Hfs is there something I said you don't agree with? yes, since adopting this mentality i have had more success with women versus being "nice"

    • @justonetime6179
      @justonetime6179 6 років тому +7

      etf42 I bet the quality of women you get is the highest.

    • @etf42
      @etf42 6 років тому

      +Just One Time
      Ironically, yes this mentality this mentality helps you attract higher quality women as well. I know it sounds opposite of what you have been told so you are facing some cognitive dissonance, but it is the truth about what women are attracted to. These are immutable facts of life about women. They cannot be modified or abolished.

  • @helena3631
    @helena3631 4 роки тому +74

    She asked him to marry her and practically begged him because he was playing hard to get ..no wonder it didnt last the dynamics were off from the begining he thought he was the prize

    • @annmaina1692
      @annmaina1692 4 роки тому +1

      Lol,so a girl cant shoot her shot

    • @TheSpiritRoom23
      @TheSpiritRoom23 4 роки тому +5

      Ann Maina she can without begging.

    • @younggwood91
      @younggwood91 3 роки тому +1

      So a man can’t be a prize?

    • @theLordismysheperd98
      @theLordismysheperd98 3 роки тому +1

      @@annmaina1692 imo it’s too masculine but suit yourself. Go for it if that’s what you like.

  • @HealingEraWithTricia
    @HealingEraWithTricia 6 років тому +379

    The pain in her eye's is sad. wishing her everything beautiful!

    • @MrsTruthTeller
      @MrsTruthTeller 6 років тому +10

      Lots of pain in her eyes for sure. That big and bright smile disguises it.

    • @sahmed5541
      @sahmed5541 6 років тому +5

      Lady Day Dream, I can see it too

    • @sethrocket1523
      @sethrocket1523 4 роки тому

      I think he is feeling it too.he just has a different way of handling it.

  • @annaelise207
    @annaelise207 6 років тому +143

    I feel like I could learn so much from this couple and how they still show respect and maturity in how they speak to each other. So dear to my heart. I wish you both the best in life!

  • @okalaniwilson4159
    @okalaniwilson4159 6 років тому +935

    WAIT A DAMN MINUTE.... does Elliot have a bit of a English accent? It seems to come and go.

    • @sagaAhWa
      @sagaAhWa 6 років тому +106

      Okalani Wilson Yes he is from London

    • @hellensonga8009
      @hellensonga8009 6 років тому +62

      I literally stopped the video to look for this comment. I hear it too but then I hear the American accent & just hahdofksozfoanchisjs

    • @layobenson3841
      @layobenson3841 6 років тому +59

      it’s really been there the whole time

    • @rubyvasquez8433
      @rubyvasquez8433 6 років тому +27

      Okalani Wilson haha yeah he does. He’s been in the US way too long lol

    • @DeeperThanMyThoughts
      @DeeperThanMyThoughts 6 років тому +83

      As a Brit, it's pretty easy to recognise. He doesn't sound in the least bit American.

  • @echakamonjok
    @echakamonjok 6 років тому +235

    😭😭😭😭 I remember their first video! He was her faveorite person! Come on! Noooo! Y’all have got to fight! I don’t know them but I know for me if I really love someone, I’m fighting. We in this together. I’m committed. I like and I love you. I would want to marry someone with the same mentality, like for real. We won’t even use the d word, divorce. It won’t be in our vocabulary. I’m sooo serious. Especially when I marry my best friend? My favorite person?? Hell no lol I’m not losing you.
    Marriage is rooted in committed. I may not feel all those love feelings but I’m going to love you. I choose to love you-be gentle, kind, faithful, etc. and it goes both ways. When you reallly love someone you choose to love despite their imperfections. However before you can really love someone you have got to LOVE YOURSELF.
    Love is not a feeling.

  • @tumelomoyo854
    @tumelomoyo854 6 років тому +109

    I am so depressed right now. This is the worst news ever. Ooh my heart

  • @coolzizable
    @coolzizable 6 років тому +212

    See this is why i don't the relationship thing. How you break up after 13 years of marriage? I'm pissed

    • @habeshasister11
      @habeshasister11 6 років тому +17

      AZIZISREAL it was doomed from the beginning. They admitted getting married for the wrong reason & rushing it

    • @laninaclay6276
      @laninaclay6276 5 років тому +7

      You don't do the relationship thing based on people you don't know personally?

    • @canwejustloveeachother2550
      @canwejustloveeachother2550 3 роки тому +3

      She begged him to be with her. I'm not blaming her but a man's pursuit and behavior says a lot. I'm in no way implying that a man won't waste your time if he chases you. In this case, however, it might have helped her gauge his intentions

  • @Naeema311
    @Naeema311 5 місяців тому +5

    RIP Mishal. So sad to hear the news. This episode introduced me to the Skin Deep and this will aware be one of the most beautiful conversations I’ve witnessed ❤

    • @TR-vh1fi
      @TR-vh1fi 4 місяці тому

      What do you mean RIP?

    • @kaeeross6809
      @kaeeross6809 4 місяці тому

      @@TR-vh1fi Mishal recently passed away

    • @TR-vh1fi
      @TR-vh1fi 4 місяці тому

      @kaeeross6809 ohh my goodness :(💔

  • @BigRedGlowingNose
    @BigRedGlowingNose 6 років тому +60

    As much as their break up saddens me, the way they're handling it is so inspirational and refreshing. Instead of throwing hate and blame at each other, they're actually able to not throw their 13 year old bond away and still harbour respect and appreciation for each other! I can only wish for my future separations to work out this smoothly.

    • @astra7015
      @astra7015 6 років тому

      Kata yeah yeah they ll probably regret it later . Doesn t happen so often tó find someone now

  • @kch1474
    @kch1474 6 років тому +164

    They're still goals! As long as they are both happy it's all good.

  • @spottieottiedopalisciousan3333
    @spottieottiedopalisciousan3333 6 років тому +128

    Their separation is utterly surprising. I absolutely disapprove, but they must do what's best for themselves as individuals. I love that they still have a bond. It's beautiful that there's no animosity between them. Just pure love and friendship.

  • @ShaliahzJustOriginal
    @ShaliahzJustOriginal 6 років тому +419

    Tisha Campbell's twin brother.

    • @monetchic
      @monetchic 6 років тому +14

      Vudaux Damn Gina..... took the words out my mouth

    • @lichi1244eva
      @lichi1244eva 6 років тому +6

      Vudaux OMG that's right 😂😂😂

    • @B.Christine_W222
      @B.Christine_W222 6 років тому +6

      I see it too!!!! Someone show her this lol

    • @kaydeep7880
      @kaydeep7880 6 років тому +2

      I'm steel here

    • @jenrobinson7883
      @jenrobinson7883 6 років тому +2

      Omg!

  • @alexandralydia4362
    @alexandralydia4362 5 років тому +39

    She wasn’t being heard and that causes lack of love in any relationship.

  • @ginamcintyre806
    @ginamcintyre806 6 років тому +679

    She's still in pain and he's not.

    • @Jrfusion08
      @Jrfusion08 6 років тому +175

      He's in pain he just shows it in different manners. But he has accepted their fate whereas she is still hopeful.

    • @etf42
      @etf42 6 років тому +20

      if he shows pain she will look at him as weak and lose respect and attraction for him

    • @organicallyhannah
      @organicallyhannah 6 років тому +67

      Hurts to watch.

    • @ayodejiboyede4594
      @ayodejiboyede4594 6 років тому +20

      organicallyhannah very! Especially when u had watched the previous when they were still together

    • @raginbaby
      @raginbaby 6 років тому +35

      You can see the sadness in her eyes, whereas he looks thrilled!

  • @jackiejacksful
    @jackiejacksful 6 років тому +61

    Gutted....but they said seperating so hopefully they will find their way to each other again.

  • @lookingforsure
    @lookingforsure 6 років тому +187

    i think he jokes too much and after 13 years she felt like he wasnt maturing up enough to match her drive

    • @ayodejiboyede4594
      @ayodejiboyede4594 6 років тому +2

      lookingforsure I agree

    • @zainabmejja9936
      @zainabmejja9936 6 років тому +28

      Totally. She's like 'dude, I'm serious.' And he's like 'oh c'mon, we're cool, nothing is wrong, let's just smile and live together' 😒

    • @etf42
      @etf42 6 років тому +13

      if he was serious, she would complain that he doesn't joke enough. don't ever worry about what a woman wants.

    • @gloriawuwu
      @gloriawuwu 3 роки тому

      @@etf42 did you not watch the same video she's clearly communicating what she needed from him and voicing valid concerns about her relationship its not about him not being serious enough or she would complain if he was you're twisting things around based on stereotypes maybe gain some critical thinking skills and watch it again

  • @ravenanderson1695
    @ravenanderson1695 6 років тому +63

    After watching I’m still inspired, they’re handling such a tough time in the best way possible.

  • @bauthentic333
    @bauthentic333 6 років тому +120

    They dated for only ten months, she asked him to get married. He said no. She begged him until he did it. Tbh, they were doomed from the start m

    • @Achebi
      @Achebi 3 роки тому

      True true

    • @itssssj
      @itssssj 3 роки тому

      fax

    • @bogolinews6047
      @bogolinews6047 3 роки тому

      A woman should never beg a man...,this is coming from a man.
      Just looks desperate.

  • @chrissysconvos
    @chrissysconvos 5 років тому +29

    His method of "Active listening" (mhmm,right,yeah)- isnt genuine, its dry and dismissive. He is hearing her but he is not fully engaged, it's a disconnect.

    • @daghettogandhi8746
      @daghettogandhi8746 3 роки тому

      He literally teased her when she said you have a special place in my heart. He goes “do I ?🥺 “ and folds his hands as if mocking her. So sad

  • @organicallyhannah
    @organicallyhannah 6 років тому +193

    April Fools was 4 Days ago .... do y’all need a calendar

    • @Aritul
      @Aritul 6 років тому +2

      🤣

    • @Big87653
      @Big87653 3 роки тому

      😂😂😂

  • @MinaMina-tf7ig
    @MinaMina-tf7ig 6 років тому +67

    They still have respect for each other, it is obvious. I feel they'll still be in each other's lives.
    The background noise was very distracting.

  • @coulorfully
    @coulorfully 4 роки тому +21

    beautiful gorgeous darling black women, don't ever beg a man to be with you. You bring too much goodness into the lives of a partner to beg. She knows now and that is growth

  • @Lisa_Flowers
    @Lisa_Flowers 6 років тому +44

    I love The And because it gives us a raw and intimate look into other people's lives and relationships, but the risk of it (and of really any shows like this) is that we can fall under the assumption that we really know people's relationships when in fact, we don't. A lot of people are sad and disappointed about Mishal and Elliott's seperation and they have every right to feel that way (I do to), but I think it's dangerous for it to negatively impact your view of love or long term relationships as a whole, or to make you think that love is unnattainable or impossible or to even to draw really large conclusions at all. You have to remember that we only saw 12 minutes of their life and of their relationships in the last video, and under half an hour of it here (part 1 and presuambly part 2). You can't get an accurate view of anything in 12 minutes. This is not at all to discount The And as a valid and impactful show (nor is it to discount what the people who participate in it are willing to share of their lives: they can't show everything) but it is to remind people that things aren't always what they seem. It's great to see positive depictions of relationships of all kinds (especially when you didn't grow up seeing them and are sometimes not sure they exist in a healthy way at all) but we should be wary of putting people's relationships on pedestals and seeing them as equal to love itself. We all have our favourite couples who seem perfect together, but you always have to remember that usually we are seeing the good and not the bad, the fruit of their labour but not the labour. What defines a relationship is the work put into it, not just the people. No relationship is impervious to conflict or trials or breakdown . Love has to be maintained and it doesn't matter how perfect two people are for each other if they don't keep choosing to do the work of being in a relationship, and sadly, sometimes the work goes too long undone, or people stop being on the same page.
    tldr; don't put people's relationships on pedestals no matter how perfect they look because we often only see the end result and not the hardwork or failure before success, and acknowledge that a couples relationship no matter how great or long standing stil needs to be maintained and needs hard work and if that work isn't done, things can break down. A relationship cannot last off soulmate status alone.

    • @digg1ty
      @digg1ty 6 років тому +2

      Rocknalldatime99 thanks for this, very well said

    • @braidedbella5117
      @braidedbella5117 6 років тому

      Agreed!

  • @trblessed1020
    @trblessed1020 6 років тому +251

    They still wear their rings so.......ijs

    • @rinasweetness
      @rinasweetness 6 років тому +52

      trblessed1020 they are separated, not divorced.

    • @traitorsss
      @traitorsss 6 років тому

      She doesn't now.

    • @trblessed1020
      @trblessed1020 6 років тому +6

      I know but they spoke of dating others and possibly never reconciling so I'm sure they would remove rings if there was no hope

    • @kspencer5129
      @kspencer5129 6 років тому +32

      This is just a phase. They're definitely getting back together. Their bond has so much soul.

  • @greenb1888
    @greenb1888 6 років тому +17

    She is hurt by his inability to relate to her pain,most definitely to find the strength to realise it won't change therefore going is the only way!

  • @alexxolo
    @alexxolo 6 років тому +351

    All people break up in the end.... I'm done with love

    • @b.h3877
      @b.h3877 6 років тому +12

      that was exactly what i thought , their first video gave me hope actually ....

    • @AdelaideAnn
      @AdelaideAnn 6 років тому +28

      Not true! Everyone is different! There is still hope :) relationships and love just take a lot of hard work and dedication. It’s not easy, but it’s very possible

    • @drawingit9836
      @drawingit9836 6 років тому +22

      I've Never had a Boyfriend but i'm Really Scared

    • @matubatsimoloi104
      @matubatsimoloi104 6 років тому +10

      I agree.. romantic love doesn't seem to exist

    • @etf42
      @etf42 6 років тому +11

      "love" is a chemical reaction in the brain. its a trick to get humans to reproduce

  • @smallappetitemukbangs8582
    @smallappetitemukbangs8582 5 років тому +72

    He is not a good listener. He listens too respond and not to understand.

  • @jdoe3240
    @jdoe3240 6 років тому +21

    I'm glad they admitted that they went about the marriage route impulsively hence their current situation. Stop rushing to tie the knot, and get to to know each other for some time. With that said, if it's meant to be between these two, I hope they can work out their differences and rekindle their relationship. If it's not meant to be, I hope they find compatible partners and learn from their previous mistakes.

    • @jdoe3240
      @jdoe3240 6 років тому +2

      Based on what she said, it's implied that they dated for months before getting married. She said "There was this moment where I was like "If you think I'm gonna date you for 10 months, that's not happening". They both said getting married was impulsive.

  • @CC-fq9uz
    @CC-fq9uz 6 років тому +39

    Sooo this is what is meant by "uncoupling".. what a beautiful way to reflect and end a journey in their lives..#positivityloveandkindness ❤

  • @VasHappeninCocineras
    @VasHappeninCocineras 6 років тому +28

    Why are so many of y'all sad and suggesting that they work it out? I'mma suggest y'all question the "one-person-till-death" romanticism you've been socialized. Life is about your journey and you choose to bring people into YOUR journey to connect with them and contribute to your growth. They are still connecting, and that is beautiful. They said they are no longer growing together, and it is also beautiful to be able to claim that. Relationships don't have to end because of conflict. They can end in order to go on a different path of your journey. They spent 13 years together, that's a big chapter, but there's more to the book of life. Congrats to them for a beautiful connection and I wish them prosperity on their future paths.

    • @mishalmooremusic
      @mishalmooremusic 6 років тому +6

      Yes. YES. You get it! Thank you for your intellect and understanding ☺️ Mishal

    • @msknich0le
      @msknich0le 5 років тому

      Marriage is a lifetime commitment. For better or worse. It shouldn't end unless cheating it death occurs. People seem to forget worse can happen and bail when it does.

    • @thegrandoti00
      @thegrandoti00 5 років тому

      @@msknich0le How can you utter those words with the current divorce rates; where women, by the way, file for 80% of divorces. Like the initial poster stated; you've been socialized to believe what you believe.

  • @birdiewolf3497
    @birdiewolf3497 6 років тому +59

    I don't know the details, but it really does seem like they could have tried more. Like the dismissiveness and the fear of confrontation all seem like things that can be worked on. I don't think a lasting relationship could function with those things, so instead of breaking up, work on them. I don't know. Maybe yall did and it was still an issue. I am just heartbroken that a beautiful couple, that can still make each other smile and giggle like yall just got together, are separating.

    • @zainabmejja9936
      @zainabmejja9936 6 років тому +1

      Birdie Wolf IKR! Like now they know, can they work on it?! Feels like it's not over.

    • @seriesthach
      @seriesthach 6 років тому +1

      Yeah easier said than done ...

    • @birdiewolf3497
      @birdiewolf3497 6 років тому +2

      Series Thach never suggested that it was easy, but marriage is about going through the hard times. I get it if he isn't really gonna make an effort, but if he is trying idk why you shouldn't stand by him while that happens. Again she talked about how she worked on herself and they were still married. Now that he needs work done it is time to call it quits? It just didn't sit well with me.

    • @seriesthach
      @seriesthach 6 років тому +3

      Yes I agree.. but it IS much easier said than done. Some of us do give it our all and still, our partner still find a way to fuck it up.. I was in a long term with my best friend of 15 years together for 4.. and he kept a lie from me of infidelity for an entire year.. It's painful and I am still here for him as a friend, as he's now going through this hurt and trying his best to accept the consequences of his mistakes.. So I am sure that she probably has already accepted his flaws on so many occasions and has forgiven him time and time again that she finally hit her breaking point... He not only screwed up our relationship, but he ruined our friendship. We've been friends since we were 13, and now I am 28.. I have accepted SOOOO many "weird" things that he's made me think was normal in a relationship, but when he screwed up...It's hard to even think about working through that.. I am sure this couple will always love each other as I will always love Anthony.. But it definitely will take a LOTTTT of time..patience.. "Love is patient....Love is kind.." In a marriage, you will find yourself falling in and out of love with them.. But each time you fall back in love with them, it's just so much stronger than before..

    • @birdiewolf3497
      @birdiewolf3497 6 років тому +1

      Series Thach And she let those things slide because of her flaws and fear of confrontation. It is one thing when you knowing hurt people but when you don't even know your are doing it, there should be at least an effort to make amends. I am fully aware that he was confronted but didn't really didn't want to work towards nothing or maybe she discovered that he does it on purpose.
      Idk. Just seems a bit cruel to be like you need therapy and I don't really want to be there for you while you go through it, but there is a door open for you to come back when you've fixed yourself. Especially considering in their first video they said they are quick to drop people. Which I personally never been comfortable with doing unless I have explored the necessary avenues.

  • @nusafee12
    @nusafee12 6 років тому +8

    This conversation is important to have. We are still mastering communication and understanding. Marriage is a partnership, they hit a chord when they said that they weren't growing together, but they are still in business and interacting, that's encouraging and very mature of them. Thanks for your vulnerability and sharing with us that even though you're not together there is a peaceful arrangement between you guys love and respect :)

  • @Noor-ug1no
    @Noor-ug1no 6 років тому +126

    i dont believe in love anymore

    • @etf42
      @etf42 6 років тому +6

      "love" is a chemical reaction in the brain. its a trick to get humans to reproduce

    • @Eveningbreeze721
      @Eveningbreeze721 6 років тому +4

      They still love each other though. Most love does not mean life long marriage.

  • @naima6967
    @naima6967 6 років тому +13

    Nooooooo! 💔 This was one of my favorite couples. It's heartbreaking, but also weirdly reassuring to witness the level of respect they maintain for one another.

  • @PerfectlyFlawed101
    @PerfectlyFlawed101 6 років тому +14

    I am so much like him and my ex was soooo much like her. I loved every bit of this. Def opened my eyes. I avoid confrontation like a plague because I know the destruction I can cause. So this here def opened my eyes to how it can actually affect the other person.

  • @Denailacole
    @Denailacole 4 роки тому +32

    She’s gorgeous, but she looks worn out. Somehow he looks revived, he’s smiling every other minute while she looks serious. She came into this relationship as a “pick me” when she is so much for than that. Hope this decision stands, because she deserves better ❤️

  • @monetchic
    @monetchic 6 років тому +52

    He needs counseling and then work it out. People are so lazy when it comes to relationships. Any relationship they get into they are going to have to engage, understand and communicate so why break up if you are still going to have to do that with a whole new person. #Idontgetit

    • @marissahopkins6404
      @marissahopkins6404 6 років тому +2

      preach

    • @Omangozika
      @Omangozika 5 років тому

      True!!! Except the person matches their energy

    • @thatobaloyi6194
      @thatobaloyi6194 5 років тому +1

      But it shouldn't be exhausting

    • @chumabanjwa4662
      @chumabanjwa4662 4 роки тому +1

      It's like they imagine that there'll be this other new person who will be perfectly suited to them and they won't have to make an effort with. Being with another human being will always require work, compromise and forgiveness.

  • @sarahxrose
    @sarahxrose 6 років тому +13

    I love how they respect each other. Separating is hard, but sometimes it's the best decision

  • @theruthellen
    @theruthellen 6 років тому +7

    Nooooooo! Saw the notification with the headline and my heart sank. I hope they do what’s best for them, they seem like beautiful human beings 💜

  • @relaunchinglife
    @relaunchinglife 6 років тому +14

    Their communication is exactly like me & my ex - I always want to talk about our relationship & he never did - so because he never realized how he really felt about things, because he never spoke about them - I never knew who he was

  • @beam8250
    @beam8250 6 років тому +13

    She's so beautiful, and deserves a man who really values her. I wish them both all the best!

  • @AdelaideAnn
    @AdelaideAnn 6 років тому +17

    There’s still hope guys!! 💕 Relationships and love take a LOT of hard work and dedication. Love and committing to one person isn’t easy at all. We all weren’t there for every second of their relationship so we don’t know what happened behind the scenes

  • @influencedaesthetic9550
    @influencedaesthetic9550 6 років тому +18

    I’m still rooting for them...!!! I wish that I can one day have this much maturity and articulation towards my spouse regardless if we stay together or not. It’s good to know there is a sense of direction of life after a breakup of any kind. So many people are devastated & lost after breakups. These guys have shown me that you don’t have to be everything for anyone...you just have to be your authentic self... if it works it works if it doesn’t it doesn’t. That doesn’t mean you throw the person away you just begin to love and appreciate them in a different way. I hope they decide to remain in one another’s life as friends at least.

    • @mishalmooremusic
      @mishalmooremusic 6 років тому +4

      INFLUENCED AESTHETIC exactly. And we are still very much friends AND business partners ;)

    • @influencedaesthetic9550
      @influencedaesthetic9550 6 років тому

      mishalmooremusic that’s awesome.... you both are inspirational beings. Continue growing and doing what makes each of you genuinely happy. I wish the best for you guys business endeavors in every successful way.

  • @bolanleadisa
    @bolanleadisa 6 років тому +5

    Wow! Thank you for this video! This was a wake-up call for me. When Elliott pointed out that Mishal is frank and direct with everyone else but takes a defeatist approach with him, that hit a nerve. It pretty much sums up how I handle issues in my relationship. I get really frustrated with trying to explain my frustrations when my S.O is taking a defensive stance. I just drop it and it boils over pretty often. After this video, I've figured that open, honest and immediate communication is vital to the overall health of relationships. We talk for hours like you both did but the issues that cut deep in our hearts are still not being addressed.
    Good luck to you Elliott & Mishal! I wish you success in your endeavours. May you find favour wherever the soles of your feet touch!

  • @annaelise207
    @annaelise207 6 років тому +26

    I loved (still love) this couple. Oh my heart!

  • @Justin21586
    @Justin21586 6 років тому +12

    The moral of the story is that when your partner grows, you have to grow with them

  • @MsDee-xc8uc
    @MsDee-xc8uc 6 років тому +25

    Whose going to show Elliot the way home?

  • @ravenanderson1695
    @ravenanderson1695 6 років тому +19

    Omgggg between Jenna & Channing now them I can’t deal. I’m in mourning. Really guys all while mercury is in retrograde??? lawd!!!

  • @ymb6987
    @ymb6987 6 років тому +12

    Literally loved their first video and truly respect them even more with this one.

  • @hopscotch39
    @hopscotch39 6 років тому +5

    I gasped in sadness when I first saw the title for the video. But after watching them talk, they’re still my faves. It sounds like they’re being really thoughtful with their decision and how they view the beginnings and path of their relationship. I really connected to what Mishal was saying in the second video about how she couldn’t take how he continually shut her out. I felt that. I wish them both the very best, and they’re both very pretty people, so they should do fine in LA lol.

  • @spangled_soul
    @spangled_soul 6 років тому +11

    Love is CANCELLED if they've broken up forevaa. On a serious note, it just shows that love isnt always enough. I think it's sad that often we enter relationships without having done the work on ourselves (unhealed/resolved issues from childhood) and things inevitably negatively impact the relationships we have with people. It is however, respectable that they realized their issues and valued themselves enough to give themselves what they need. If they get back together they got to come back on (actually they should come back on regardless).

  • @daaayum_gena
    @daaayum_gena 6 років тому +3

    I am absolutely grateful that these two shared their story after so many of us were "Goals"-ing their relationship. Their first video, demonstrated precisely the kind of relationship that I want. That deep-seated friendship where the romance bloomed in moments that are otherwise mundane with less connected couples. And, in the age of social media, the comparison game is real. That awesome feeling of watching Mishal and Elliot, or Ben and Sidra, or Keisha and Andrew (all my favorites), as well as people that I actually know, mixes with a worry that I won't find what they have. But then you see this second installment where two dynamic people who demonstrate an amazing chemistry need to take time apart because of the very real problems they were facing. And they don't know whether it's permanent or temporary. And this grounded me again in the reality that regardless of what our perception is as outsiders, the perfect relationship doesn't exist. Cognitively I know, but we are products of our society, and ours romanticizes the shit of...well, romance. This has been long but maybe some of you can relate to what I'm saying.
    Thank you, Skin Deep, and Mishal & Elliot for this realness. Words cannot express how much I appreciate you for showing this.

    • @mishalmooremusic
      @mishalmooremusic 6 років тому

      Gena Brigham I love this. Thank you so much for not idolizing our relationship, but instead seeing there is no perfection in anything. Change is inevitable...the more we can accept change, the easier it is to remain present and thankful for every teaching moment life gifts us! Mishal

  • @uzzygal2k10
    @uzzygal2k10 6 років тому +4

    I remember hearing they have decided to part on there podcast and I had to take a moment. Girl several moments. Having watched this though I can tell they do still love each other so much, and I am sooooo rooting for them to work on their differences & get back to being in love. Y’all are literally my most fave couple everrr. Cannot wait for part 2!

  • @gianniclaud
    @gianniclaud 6 місяців тому +1

    Mishal an empowered empath. I’ve loved her since the early days of UA-cam - “where was my brain, when I loved you…”
    I hope she’s in a better place and not attracting anymore narcissists, but with people really willing to “go there” with her.

  • @Honeypepper.
    @Honeypepper. 5 років тому +4

    6:34 Ok, from here, I now see the problem, and I totally get it. When some refuses to acknowledge or address or ignores someone's feeling toward a particular matter or issue it is a *SURE FIRE* way to end a relationship!

  • @XX-lm9kx
    @XX-lm9kx 6 років тому +92

    She's gorgeous and deserves a man who adores her. He's cold.

    • @bibibello2181
      @bibibello2181 3 роки тому

      He is not that into her

    • @yesrgh2118
      @yesrgh2118 3 роки тому +3

      I’m getting the impression he might be bi/gay

  • @alexapink2529
    @alexapink2529 5 років тому +20

    He's not taking it seriously enough. He puts in comedic moments when the timing is wrong and he needs to confront the tension not deflect from it

    • @alexiasomerset2534
      @alexiasomerset2534 4 роки тому +1

      Alexa Pink he seems gay 💁🏽‍♀️ that’s why it didn’t work

    • @gloriawuwu
      @gloriawuwu 3 роки тому +2

      some good points also she even says they both dont like confrontation but she still tries to voice what bothers her and hes dismissive about it

  • @brainsandbeauty2832
    @brainsandbeauty2832 6 років тому +6

    wow i love how well she articulated her emotion, i wish i can do this at crucial points

  • @Isthatjaleesa
    @Isthatjaleesa 6 років тому +13

    Is still wearing the ring a common thing amongst divorcing couples? They seem so level headed and on page with the separation. Great video!

  • @mfaison93
    @mfaison93 6 років тому +3

    I really hope they are able to work through their issues and come back together stronger than before. love prevails!

  • @alreem9891
    @alreem9891 6 років тому +59

    who tf is screaming in the background

  • @Sweeettt.Caroline
    @Sweeettt.Caroline 6 років тому +1

    I watched their 'married' story just the other day and almost every comment said they loved them and the "feels" they got, but I could just feel something was off. DATING (for more than a year, my opinion) is so IMPORTANT, asking questions IS SO important. It was this episode of 'The Real' that basically summoned up LOVE is not enough COMPATIBILITY is extremely important as well. Praying for these two and their new ventures !

  • @helene6686
    @helene6686 6 років тому +5

    This is just buring me deeper in my "I truly don't believe relationships work out" hole

  • @shashavengesayi6055
    @shashavengesayi6055 6 років тому +5

    Y'all are getting back 2gether, there's still a lot of love

  • @isntshelovely5823
    @isntshelovely5823 6 років тому +12

    Noooooo. You dam right u crushed my heart!!! How dare u. Yall was my fav. I was rooting for you. We were all rooting for you!!! *tyra voice

  • @carmelliawright9936
    @carmelliawright9936 6 років тому +2

    I think that in every relationship you get to a point where you feel comfortable, and in that, you become routine and that doesn't lead to growth as a couple but an individual growth. Determining how to grow together while still being engaged with each other is super important in a marriage.

  • @DarkMatter11k
    @DarkMatter11k 6 років тому +4

    When I saw their first session, I saw the huge differences between them. She was hurting in the first video. He seemed like he tried to be her rainbow and be her joy, not realizing that she needed to find it within herself.

  • @chandlerfranklin8283
    @chandlerfranklin8283 6 років тому +1

    I admire how these two are okay with each other, they’re not angry, or hateful. They both respect and love each other still but they’re amazing.

  • @koolklub
    @koolklub 6 років тому +5

    For anyone complaining about the background noise. Read the description.

  • @akovacsrealtor
    @akovacsrealtor 6 років тому +2

    Wow! 😮 They’re separated, yet these two have more love, connection and respect for each other than most couple I know... I hope they get back together again. I’m rooting for them 😊💞

  • @InfinitePerri00
    @InfinitePerri00 6 років тому +14

    This is quite depressing, I’m not even gonna lie

  • @justinaadk5081
    @justinaadk5081 6 років тому +4

    I think one of the biggest challenges to millennial relationships is that we have so many exit strategies and people on the outside gassing us up and vying for our attention, that it's harder today to actually work on your marriage (which will forever require effort no matter how perfectly matched you are) than it is to leave it. "Till death do us part" has become as much of a lie as "I love you".

  • @chanaef.8189
    @chanaef.8189 6 років тому +1

    I literally just watched their first video yesterday...and now this? 😢 I’m shocked! But I love the respect and honesty.

  • @Dop3ritrean
    @Dop3ritrean 6 років тому +61

    My heart. 😢

  • @chantelpowell4595
    @chantelpowell4595 6 років тому +2

    I swear they are so cute together, but sometimes you have to take a step back and acknowledge that you have to do what’s right for you. Good luck to you both.

  • @Fatima-up8lw
    @Fatima-up8lw 6 років тому +3

    This is so hard. I'm heartbroken and happy for them at the same time. A part of me wants them to see what's out there and realize what they had is the shit, and get back together. Lol, a big part of me!

  • @soysuka
    @soysuka 4 роки тому

    I have been listening to Mishal Moore's music for more than a decade! What a beautiful soul. I guess the lessons she learned with this man will make for more beautiful music.
    What a stunning woman.

  • @lovemecom3832
    @lovemecom3832 6 років тому +3

    They just need a break for a while and think those things many times before they decide to a break-up. Break up is really hard and hurt for those people who can experience it.

  • @lulukinyozibeauty5628
    @lulukinyozibeauty5628 6 років тому +1

    I’m happy they can still get along.It is a great lesson instead of giving ultimatums and actually really getting to know someone before getting married. You have to be patient.

  • @Venus-ci7nw
    @Venus-ci7nw 6 років тому +10

    I’m going to ignore this video and act like this isn’t happening right now....

  • @ChristCruisin
    @ChristCruisin 5 років тому

    Its nice that they’re able to sit down like this. There’s a level communication they’re having now than before because of a certain individual freedom ...

  • @idaliakulik
    @idaliakulik 3 роки тому +3

    I can just tell that it was the guy who suggested the separation from the body language of these two.