I have 9 Maxed Out Credit Cards and £20,000 of Debt | Spendaholics | Only Human
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- Опубліковано 3 бер 2020
- 36-year-old Marlon loves to shop. This gadget man, computer-wizz earns £30,000 a year. But, a spending addiction fueled by nine credit cards has left Marlon £20,000 in debt.
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#OnlyHuman #Spendaholics #ShoppingAddiction
"im a very private person" goes on a tv show that totally exposes you
TK Talk Extreme problems require extreme solutions.
We need a cheapskate and a shopaholic to live together
Yes like a super sized vs super skinny type docuseries
I second that motion
Good idea!
And they have to agree on a monthly budget!! I would watch that as obsessively as I do this!
Yes!!
To some extent, we've all be scarred by some part of our childhood.
Generational trauma.
Yeah I'm 55yrs and everyday I struggle with childhood emotional neglect....when a child doesn't have their needs fulfilled or love and care physically and emotionally then you get a damaged adult.
I surprised myself by laughing on a number of occasions, as Marlon has a delightful sense of humour. So pleased he sorted himself out in the end and i am sure his life has been successful
One common thing with all these crazy overspenders is that they refuse to acknowledge the difference between "I want" and "I need".
I think it's more like they don't care.
When the mind is cluttered u can't chose between both everything is I want And need
Marlon: "I'll give anything a go"
Also Marlon: "I won't talk about anything. I won't get rid of anything. I won't change anything."
It's got to be so frustrating to be a therapist.
Yes but to realize why a person won't change is the reason why they need help. It's something that's stuck and they have to learn to get unstuck. And some ppl have no clue how to. That's why it's challenging and rewarding to help and get the person unstuck. It's truly liberating and you yourself feel great in their joy of finally being free.
What a lovely chap. I really feel for him. Not playing football anymore took the wind out of his sails and he's been limping along emotionally and self comforting through shopping.
He is one of the loveliest people that have been on the show.
@@janetdonald9801 I know. He was suffering in silence, putting on a brave face.
You gonna pay his credit card balance?
I feel this guy has undiagnosed adult ADHD. Over the last 10 or so years all those people that others failed to understand for so many years have begun to be diagnosed - including me. He sounds just like me. Hope someone has helped him to recognize what has very likely been holding him back al these years. He seems a good guy and deserves all the luck in the world.
I was wondering what are the signs of that? Just curious to learn
@@bookwormbon482 Adult ADHD traits are lack of focus, lack of organization, lack of willpower to follow things through, certain OCD traits like shopping addiction, or any addiction, really. Day to day struggle with organization of thoughts - having ideas about things you want to achieve or do but lack of focus/organization to see it through, like having the idea to start a hobby; with initial enthusiasm you buy loads of stuff you think you'll need but then lose focus and move onto something else that sparks your interest before you can actually take up the hobby or soon after you start it. Then it's onto the next bright idea, and repeat....
I was just going to write the same comment until I seen this one, totally agree. I myself wasn't diagnosed until I was 38.
Totally agree
Oh my. I may have adult ADHD because it felt like you were describing me. What should I do? Should I see a therapist or psychologist? I’m tired of being like this. I’d have bouts of enthusiasm over one thing and then another thing and then another thing. It’s never ending.
They say shopaholics are usually trying to fill some sort of a void in their hearts...
It’s true I can attest to that
I'm a cardaholic but not a spendaholic it seems
Absolutely agree
@Dostoyevskys Daughter you're right. It is a bit of a "pat answer"
It’s an addiction. A shopaholic doesn’t care about what he bought. It’s the action that they are after. Save the receipt so you can return it next week.
I was 24 thousand in debt, and now I am free
damn wtf congrats
I'm a ex jehovah witness too. He thinks,image is everything because that's how you're brought up in that religion; they say it's about what God thinks but realistically you're bought up to please people in your congregation and make sure other people don't think you're doing bad stuff. He hates being told what to do now because he's been told what to do his entire life; he's rebelling in his 30s because we weren't allowed to rebel in our teens like normal people. Lots of ex jws end up depressed, confused, lacking self confidence, and finding something to fill the void of the family you lose when you decide not to be a jehovah witness anymore as that religion practices shunning. It's sad but it's true. I hope all the best for him.
That is both an excuse as well as your experience. He is simply a man who is almost 30 and has no sense of responsibily.
Teresa Yeates I think you will find most people learn their behaviour from childhood experiences. It is not an excuse. It's simply how the human brain works.
Dmi
Cottonsocks434k I hope that you have found peace and happiness away from the JW. There are loads of support groups full of 'apostates' who are kind and lovely people. And I agree that impulsive spending is indicative of a deep-rooted problem.
I disagree
Buying a street map lol shows how old this is.
i was just thinking that, those were simpler times lol
@Form Emptiness for your car maybe, but smart phone technology wasn't around back then so you couldn't just whip out your phone and check google maps, city maps these days are more a novelty than a necessity
The WIndows XP laptops did that for me.
And the old tech!
This is Series 3 Episode 3, which first aired in 2007.
He was really panicking at the budget. Not very enthusiastic about making a change but he finally grasped it at the end. Well done Marlon.
Marlon reminds me of my ex-boyfriend. His house was a mess and he made lots of promises he didn't keep. I didn't ever get through to him, so I'm impressed that these two did with Marlon!! Of course, they are professionals at it! Finally getting Marlon to clean up his flat really did get him to start buying into the process, because it felt so good to be in his nice space. Before that, I kept wondering why Marlon agreed to be on this show at all since he would not cooperate.
Because in his cluttered mind he could show it will be ok to stay the same. He prob truly felt there also was no hope. But when u have a cluttered mind I don't see any hope. Always remember there are reasons why ppl have problems. What happened when they stopped caring? Once that's addressed then healing can begin and the twisted cluttered mind can unravel things to declutter makes sense and then yes let's do this. U now feel free to change and do better. We can all improve
I loved it when Marlon opened up a little … you can see some healing once he’s opened up a bit.
I'm surprised that with 9 credit cards maxed to the limit, his overall debt wasn't much higher than £20000.
I expected his credit card debt to be more like £30-40000
You didn't add interest to each card?
I have one credit card with $8,000 limit on it I never carry a balance on it
@lol you're right, that's how much I'm in credit card debt now so 😆🤣😂😹
On a 30k salary it is surprising, specially in that era
tbf 20k back then is like 37.5k nowadays so your actually on the money if you adjust for inflation.
Between 1999-2009 credit was thrown at you
I remember. 😒 I went to college during this time and got A LOT of credit cards. 😫
@@TomikaKelly yes. My sister got into a lot of debt in that period of time too.
100%. Everyone was in debt. I had credit cards with 1/2k limits as a student with no real prospect of repayment.
I had 4 credit cards before graduating high school.
That was roughly before the big financial crash
to be fair, he did look smart in his clothes.
I'm sure he smelled great too.
I guess his clothes can keep him warm if he ever gets evicted from his place
This has nothing to do with being Smart 🤔
@@manueladames5835 to “look smart” means looking good or looking well dressed. It has nothing to do with cognitive ability.
@@bluegoka ○☆♤thanks .....still learning and help is always welcome here.......○☆⊙
I can get super scat witted about doing what's necessary too. I deal with insomnia, depression and anxiety, so to get me to do ANY organizing is like doing home root canal. I LOSE important papers and forget to write things down. Which is hard, because I have really bad memory issues. I am a HOARDER, and so is the man in this show. My mess PROTECTS me from what's lurking in my head, ready to lunge out from the dark bits of my head. I feel bad for Marlon, having had his longed for future sports career yanked away from him so cruelly. That must have gutted him.
Scat is another word for shit
Have you ever been assessed for ADHD? Everything you have mentioned is either a symptom or a potential resultant condition, apart from the hoarding which is a common comorbidity. Granted, depression can cause ADHD-like memory and concentration issues but if your memory and organisational problems have always been with you, you could have untreated ADHD which has caused the depression and anxiety. Might be worth a try, an awful lot of the adults I know who were diagnosed in adulthood had previously been diagnosed with anxiety / depression / bipolar as that's what the docs / psychiatrists are often more familiar with.
With his skill set he could probably get freelance work that would keep him busy and out of the stores, as well as accelerating his debt repayment. Sell all the extra stuff in the house and paint the walls a pale neutral. He's verging on being a hoarder... another 30 years and he'll be on another show..
This programme takes me back to my youth...can’t believe we are in 2021....
I get annoyed with personalities like this. “I need help but I don’t want to change or follow your advice or do anything outside of my comfort zone”.
Mary Norton A lot of therapy starts like that, to be fair.
It’s a very tough process- if it was easy no one would need therapists. You have to be ready for the pain the process causes and it takes time and patience. My daughter’s relationship just ended because her boyfriend just couldn’t handle the pain of the process and just shut it down again.
Sue Hadley I agree - therapy is literally changing your thought processes and behaviour. It’s essentially changing who you are, on some levels. Not exactly easy. It’s hard and frustrating and a long and difficult road.
Mary Norton stop judging him, it’s not that easy to open up. Bet you couldn’t do it either. I get annoyed with personalities like you. You’re judgmental and you don’t know their life
I'm not sure why he bothered going on the show...
He's lovely. I hope things worked out really well for him.
And that it has humbled him a bit.
ooo Thanks!
Hi,Text Freddy .. (860) 421-6273
He’s an expert 💯💯💯💯💯
I got 25k$ within 5 minutes
All thanks to him for helping with credit card flip
Text Freddy and thank me later
This guy is a life saver.
Marlon will be a great catch now that he's gotten his life on track . Its hard to change and I found Marlon very relatable and inspiring . Love the colored paper idea and think I could take a lot of the advice on board !
Everytime my bank sends me a letter to increase my limit -- I happily never respond. Can't spend the money you don't have. That's one important thing my parents have taught me.
Brianna Pilkey Having more credit available is a good thing. Not using the credit is even better.
@@Mr._X84 they keep sending me letters because they want me to increase my limit and let me dig myself in a hole. I am not falling for that trap. I have really good credit -- I'm not going to ruin that.
Having more credit and not use it it’s great for your credit report
@@dantexventa3695 Exactly!
36 and stuck in his ways, i wonder if he's still like this? He is being a baby about getting rid of stuff.
Crazy to think this could have been filmed 15 years ago . Where are they now ? Time truely does fly . I’m sure looking at this now he’s not wishing where the money went because anyone would enjoy being 15 years younger again
36 yr olds are quite different than 22 yrs old college students. they're much more set in their own ways and difficult to change.
Their mums are still ironing their shirts
That’s facts
Good job, Marlon! I'm super proud of you.
This man has ADHD, why do they not realize this?! There are so many clear signs and they address it as if he’s just choosing to operate this way. Ugh maybe because it’s early 2000s 🤦🏻♀️. I hope someone eventually spoke with him about it
Just interested to learn - what are the signs?
@@bookwormbon482 I know you probably don't care for this anymore but it's mostly just spending on things, then getting bored of them, and buying more stuff. also, being very disorganized because your brain is running a mile a minute
@@billie-jv5ll thanks for explaining
Honestly, I think it’s deeper than ADHD. He might have some PTSD and trauma from childhood. He mentioned that he grew up as a Jehovah’s Witness. In that religion, your education and professional ambitions are stifled at a young age. You have to be really self directed to find your way in the world because your family isn’t going to prepare you for the real world. You are always told what is wrong or right. I think his disorganization is partly rebellion. I was glad to see he at least has a professional career. Whether it’s ADHD or not, I hope he got some therapy and is living a good life now.
If his family is JW, and he has left the religion. It is highly likely that he is being shunned by his family. This most likely has left a huge hole in him. Most individuals raised in the JW environment need to attend therapy to work through the issues this cult creates.
And if hes been told he's 'unclean' by these people, maybe that's why he liked aftershave, to mask the feeling of uncleanness
it's a truly evil cult.
Pretend this $20,000 credit card balance was in US dollars and this was happening in 2021. The average credit card interest rate in the US is 14.65% as of January 25, 2021, according to data from the Federal Reserve. Let's say no additional debt is accrued and the $20,000 balance is paid down at a rate of $200 each month. How long would it take to pay back the full balance and how much interest would be paid? It would take 30+ years to pay it off and the total paid would be $155,143. This is real, people.
Mark's advice is great!
Really good episode..this show is inspiring!
They are showing him a shop where he can spend £150 on perfume? Are they crazy?!! What a waste of money.
These videos give such a 2004-2009 vibes lool. Especially the dress sense etc and my lord those Silver TVs were huge. The time when you use to buy it and get a "Freeview" box with it haha. Channel tuning and what not
and u use to get Teletext with it as well
Happiness can’t be bought
Hi,Text Freddy .. (860) 421-6273
He’s an expert 💯💯💯💯💯
I got 25k$ within 5 minutes
All thanks to him for helping with credit card flip
Text Freddy and thank me later
This guy is a life saver.
It can’t but it’s damn good down payment 😁
I have noticed Mark seems to use simpler techniques than Benjamin. If nothing else Mark is saving the programme money with pens and cards instead of balloon rides and sky diving and such!
Some of those pharmacy assistants looked a bit sour faced.
Those bank fees were absolutely ridiculous! I would’ve been on the phone with them quick. Banks usually forgive a one time blunder like that.
I think that it is cool that he is being shown how to budget properly.
Hi,Text Freddy .. (860) 421-6273
He’s an expert 💯💯💯💯💯
I got 25k$ within 5 minutes
All thanks to him for helping with credit card flip
Text Freddy and thank me later
This guy is a life saver.
Funny, when I started working for a large retail company. Most of the workforce were part timers scraping the pennies till payday, the supervisor was on full time higher pay grade and had a gambling habit who was ALWAYS broke. He was banned from having a phone contract in his name while he had an outstanding debt on it.
This is Series 3 Episode 3, which first aired in 2007.
Pretend this $20,000 credit card balance was in US dollars and this was happening in 2021. The average credit card interest rate in the US is 14.65% as of January 25, 2021, according to data from the Federal Reserve. Let's say no additional debt is accrued and the $20,000 balance is paid down at a rate of $200 each month. How long would it take to pay back the full balance and how much interest would be paid? It would take 30+ years to pay it off and the total paid would be $155,143. This is real, people.
Wow this was a very interesting and educational episode 👍🏾. I will use some tips that the experts have helped Marlon with
Please E20k is nothing compared to some stories I have read in the U.S. where i live of 60-100k in card purchases, although not always from "shopping" but accumulating debt over time on necessities like medical bills, home improvements, car repairs, etc. But this guy's debt-to-income ratio is alarming which is the real issue.
Banks are completely out of control with these charges. So sad the government doesn't ban these completely excessive charges.
"You didn't like the way I decorated it before?" 😂
His 30k salary is good even for the present day
The north
@Alex34 it is a good salary the cost of living had gone up
I'm on 31.5 K and feel it's not much now that the price of literally everything has gone up.
@@SneakyGenius Yeah it really has, it's horrific
Imagine if he had severe allergies 7:52
Super annoyed by this guy. He also needs to sell 50% of his items...he does not even use them!
Some people will never prosper regardless of how much their income. You will never out spend stupid.
Trauma= Denial. Classic CPTSD.
He is a nice Guy.
Regards from Holland
At the end, thanks for the "help", run!
The spraying of Aftershave was borderline dangerous lol
Jehovah Witness's don't celebrate birthdays and christmas. I wonder if he was allowed to do that and if not did it impact his spending
Interesting take. Yeah, I think so. Since he is not used to limiting celebrations / gifting to birthdays, Xmas, etc. He gifts/celebrates "inappropriately" by doing it excessively. I wish he had more times to celebrate--he seems very lonely honestly. *(edit: sp)*
they don't celebrate anything, but they are excellent at harboring pedo scum and blaming the children for their resident rapists.
It seems that some people with these financial problems live like they are in college and are not fully accepting the adult responsilbilities. They don't want to grow up and be a slave to the economy and I don't blame them. It is depressing to work and pay bills forever. The thing about being a repsonsible adult is, there are fun things to do even with the stress of being broke and paying bills. Being an adult requires focus, repsonsibility and maturity. You might go some days without eating what you want, without having that coffee. Adulting is sacrifice.
Awww he seems really sweet. He took that barrage of spray really well.....
That was not right to do, for his health or for the environment
Aw, I really liked Marlon, good luck to him!
I think he was struggling with his sexuality and coming from probably strictly traditional religious background, was probably afraid of rejection and shaming.He had already experienced profound abandonment. He is perhaps the most lonely, isolated and cut off from his feelings subject of the whole series.
You nailed it! I know a. Nigerian man from London who is like this but very tidy, clean and minimalistic home
Spot on. This man needs to just come out of the closet. I hope he is living the way he wants in 2020
I thought that but also wondered if there was some Priest style trauma associated with the church too.
@@sarbenjy Did you see the part where he says he wants a wife and to have a family of his own? He isn't gay at all.
@@cosudu3002 most men have been known to get beard's and the kids that come along with that.. Schof anyone ☕.
He's organized in his own chaos(messy flat)
Hi,Text Freddy .. (860) 421-6273
He’s an expert 💯💯💯💯💯
I got 25k$ within 5 minutes
All thanks to him for helping with credit card flip
Text Freddy and thank me later
This guy is a life saver.
Hahahhaha aftershave / perfume storm. This was funny.
Was this show recorded in like 2003?
😂😂😂
Yea look at that windows xp 😂
Well the car number plate says 54 so probably 2004
@@amac5055 I thought so too as my aunt had been trying to teach me how to read plates. Its supposedly 2006 as he hadn't used his rollerblades since 2004, 2.5 years prior.
This is Series 3 Episode 3, which first aired in 2007.
He was just ahead did his time whenever this was recorded/filmed. He was a young Lil Teejayx6 in the making... he was just a young swiper 💳💯🚶🏽♂️
Lmao
Mischievous
Cosmetics, skincare n fashion are my sins🙂😒🥵☹😖😩😞😣. He is lucky still has a job...imagine if he did not work...more time to be spent on shopping
I hv collected branded high end shoes plus handbags...I only use about 60% of my fashion collections. Eventhough I am able to afford n save money...but still is not healthy ...
All the talk about focus and distraction, difficulty getting motivated to get stuff done, difficulty keeping track of stuff. . . . dude totally has ADHD.
He is 36 yrs old, single no kids and blowing his money away like there 's no tomorrow, when he could be saving and investing all that money
Instead. Quite crazy if you ask me!
BeyondChange You can do that when the only responsibility is you.
Yeah I’d understand your criticism more if he had kids and a wife to support but was totally neglecting them to squander his money. Hell, he’s only hurting himself here. Who am I to judge 🤷🏾♀️
His in his mid-50s now
Zero debt, zero credit cards
The Lone Deranger You must not have any credit.
Mr. Micawber salutes you!
I liked the whiteboard idea.
Where can I find the guy that makes the perfumes, please?
Remind me off Howard from the Halifax adverts
Hey Marlon ..... keep going🌞🕊
This psychologist is like a Robert Webb character
Theirs things like “EXCUSES” 😂
I'm perfectly happy with my Salvation Army, Goodwill ,garage sale and Thrift Shop clothes maybe that's why I have savings in a Roth IRA, 401k at a year-and-a-half liquid savings mortgage paid for no charge card debt I learned long ago the difference between a want and a need. Believe me I have stuff just not an overabundance of it.
Great taste in clothes! I'm glad he pulled it together in the end. I'm not big on the "childhood trauma is the explanation for everything" approach. Sometimes people just want to focus on getting practical help with doing things.
Its both.
Hi fellow shopaholic, as I've found out I shop to protect myself from other people and to catch up from when I was spending deprived.Congrats on leaving a cult, good for you! Maybe departing from that religion left a void, I get it!Take care and thanks.
What happened to Benjamin Fry?
DresdenDollable he had childhood issues
He got really bad depression and had to check himself into a psychological hospital
Better without him, he was too dour and boring
Emotionally immature
I'm 38 I always buy used and I do own lots of clothing, and you wouldn't know the difference if they were bought new or used. Saved thousands in clothing, and have not shopped for over 4 years. I own 2 pairs of winter boots and 3 pairs of shoes. Been wearing the same one pair of winter boots for 5 years, the other brand new pair I purchased 2 years ago never worn stiil in its box, and same goes with my other pairs of shoes. I also earn 80k a year have zero debt own everything and have tens of thousands saved.
I think he will find out at thet time what he must do. More cleaning house, cooking at home and haveing fun one day of week or even less. He need no clothes or shues or aftershaves for years. My dad always said, get you a job, pay first in a month al your bils and taxes, if you dont have enought find you an extra job, after 14 hours of work you will drop tired in your bed and tkink twice what you are realy need. Real life is not a holiday, its a hard working days most of our time. Thet knows my 7 year old grandchild. With debt like thet I will be without my flat and in the prison right now in our country or at least on the street. Lots of workers here earn less then 20 000 euro per year and have family, cars and they are not starving.
must be a huge pharmacy,with all those staff
Hi,Text Freddy .. (860) 421-6273
He’s an expert 💯💯💯💯💯
I got 25k$ within 5 minutes
All thanks to him for helping with credit card flip
Text Freddy and thank me later
This guy is a life saver.
There is a world cup video collection or book in between cookbooks
I was never this bad, but it CHANGED MY LIFE when I watched these two flims: Playing with F.I.R.E (documentary) and Minimalism: A Documentary about the things that matter
YES! The minimalism documentary changed my life too. I reccomend it to everyone
I'm going to look up those
Billy the book shelf!
Congratulations Marlon for overcoming the pain from your past and I hope you have a wonderful future filled with the love of a good wife and maybe babies too! There are special organisations out there for people who have come out of cults which you may feel is appropriate. I’m so thankful you managed to escape the JW’s at a young age.
Very interesting keep it up new here
Hi,Text Freddy .. (860) 421-6273
He’s an expert 💯💯💯💯💯
I got 25k$ within 5 minutes
All thanks to him for helping with credit card flip
Text Freddy and thank me later
This guy is a life saver.
Those who have money save it, those who don’t have money spend it.
Actually, you do need two dvd players so you can play region 1 dvds and region 2 dvds.
those were 2005 problems mate lol
That's right even in 2020 I Still have that problem.
whats a DVD player
@@willlaw1672 It is that thingamajig that plays dvds like movies.
A mental health accessment is essential to determine the reasons for excessive spending..😮
Crazy crazy crazy.
street map hahaha lol
Marlon's flat gives me anxiety looking at disorganized clutter. I just couldnt.
Loads of deep rooted stuff here... Crikey. I did notice that later in the episode, Marlon really had his guard up around the other bloke, because he confronted him about his childhood. I think after that, the bridge was burned, because Marlon wasn't open to ANY advice from him.
Jesus, that fragrance spraying scene was horrific to watch.
this mas seems to bee very confidant when you meet him but behind all that confidence is a messy house and a front look at me im succesful but he isnt all he seems to be its a show
The first step is to box everything up and the get out only what you use.
he's so sweet!
Thank you
Hi,Text Freddy .. (860) 421-6273
He’s an expert 💯💯💯💯💯
I got 25k$ within 5 minutes
All thanks to him for helping with credit card flip
Text Freddy and thank me later
This guy is a life saver.
Thank goodness i only spend a lot on house necessities and bills. Im fine with that.
Hi,Text Freddy .. (860) 421-6273
He’s an expert 💯💯💯💯💯
I got 25k$ within 5 minutes
All thanks to him for helping with credit card flip
Text Freddy and thank me later
This guy is a life saver.
Marlon is literally like my dad but not as neat. Also, were they not even concerned by blanking out his credit card details?!
The show is 20 years old he changed his cards by now 😆
@@dantexventa3695 ,
Maybe not I've had the same card for 20 years got it when I got divorced
It's maxed out anyway can't charge anymore lol