Understanding Relationships

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  • Опубліковано 16 кві 2018
  • I make videos about life.
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    Twitter: @Dr_Conte
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    Website: www.DrChristianConte.com
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 72

  • @CruisingIsTherapy
    @CruisingIsTherapy 2 дні тому

    I am a therapist myself, and I work with combat veterans. I will never get tired of the truth you keep putting out there. I use these videos with my veterans. Keep speaking the truth, brother!

    • @DrChristianConte
      @DrChristianConte  День тому

      Thank you so much. And thank you for the work you do. Our veterans gave everything for us, and we can never do enough to show them gratitude in return. Sending you, and everyone you work with, tons of peace!

  • @katelyn442
    @katelyn442 6 місяців тому +1

    I used this technique with my mom today. She ia mostly in her critical parent ego state and I responded with my adult ego state. Initially, she verbally attacked me and usually I would respond from my hurt child or Critical Parent, but this time I responded eith my adult ego and was rational with her and it totally descalated her and she even apologized to me afterwards. Still, it stings when she attacks me and I'm not sure if she'll ever really change. But I do feel a sense of power and control now. And I feel like I didn't let my anger take over. Which is a wonderful feeling. Thanks Doc 😊

  • @joanfischer9371
    @joanfischer9371 3 місяці тому

    So, beneficial in this new relationship; I’m in with this man, I admire.
    Thank you, Christian. God bless you; your wife and Bear 🙏🏻🦮🥰

  • @katelyn442
    @katelyn442 7 місяців тому +1

    Amazing concept 👌 thank you Dr. Conte

  • @pratschavan75
    @pratschavan75 Рік тому +1

    First time I got a video which helped me understood how to deal with others emotion and also to understand one's own emotional state at the same time.

  • @robotsweat
    @robotsweat 6 років тому +10

    Amazing again. Bud I feel like I am learning these things years too late at 35 to save the relationship I'm in and the fights we've just had!

    • @DrChristianConte
      @DrChristianConte  6 років тому +3

      robotsweat Thank you! Trust me though, it’s never too late! Sending you tons of peace!

    • @fosterrose5661
      @fosterrose5661 5 років тому +1

      never too late i am 60 and still learning.

  • @mollysmith1367
    @mollysmith1367 3 роки тому +1

    Super helpful. Love your videos. Your delivery and content is spot on. Stoic mentality = adult.

  • @r0mans828
    @r0mans828 Рік тому

    Absolutely life changing.

  • @7beers
    @7beers 5 років тому +2

    This is the 3rd video my wife and I are watching together. They are superb.

    • @DrChristianConte
      @DrChristianConte  5 років тому

      Thank you so much! I really appreciate hearing that. I definitely would be grateful for you to share these videos with others. I sincerely appreciate you taking the time to comment and hearing that these videos are helpful. Sending you and your wife all my best and tons of peace!

  • @robertsharrock188s
    @robertsharrock188s 3 роки тому +2

    Needed this today. I just wrote up my spouse and I in the bubble format. Really speaks volumes. She’s HC/CP and I need more adult to bring her to her adult.

  • @40pike96
    @40pike96 2 роки тому +1

    very good explaining. now i know what to work on

  • @mayssaahlayhel2014
    @mayssaahlayhel2014 5 років тому +2

    You are so genious and convincing. I open my eyes to things in our life that i haven't heard before. This is making understanding me and others pretty easier

  • @pscoolguy
    @pscoolguy 3 роки тому +1

    Years ago, I read Berne's book, "Games People Play."
    It is a short book but very insightful. It was extremely interesting and made me start to really focus on how people communicate, and the roles they take on in their communication, both intentionally and unintentionally.

    • @DrChristianConte
      @DrChristianConte  9 місяців тому +1

      Yes, this is Eric Berne's Transactional Analysis! I just try to say it in a language that fits with today. Sending you much peace!

  • @Mushroom321-
    @Mushroom321- 5 років тому +1

    nice! 👏❤ so insightful.. Great talk..

  • @brenmel2011
    @brenmel2011 5 років тому +1

    thank you dr.conte....for your wonderful videos....change begins from within...great help navigating issues with your support.....understanding and viewing ppl, myself and things thru your perspective truly helps

  • @tommygunn6901
    @tommygunn6901 4 роки тому +1

    One year later after this was uploaded and I'm just now getting around to seeing this. I have too much trouble with relationships and I don't know what else to do to fix it....

  • @grmpEqweer
    @grmpEqweer 5 років тому

    I think I can use this.
    It'll be very difficult to be the couch, though.
    I have PTSD from childhood abuse, and when my (diagnosed) BPD partner starts mashing my buttons, it's terrifically difficult for me not to react.
    He's not in therapy though, I am, so I'm the designated adapter.

  • @Bighedass_
    @Bighedass_ 9 місяців тому +1

    Holy Shit! Thank you

    • @DrChristianConte
      @DrChristianConte  9 місяців тому

      100% I'm grateful this helps. Sending you much peace!

  • @fuzzysocksucker2012
    @fuzzysocksucker2012 6 років тому +4

    Never heard of this before but it explains so much! Very interesting. I'm going to watch this video over and over til I get this completely. Love your channel Dr. Conte

    • @DrChristianConte
      @DrChristianConte  6 років тому +1

      Thank you so much! I really appreciate that. Yeah, I love this model of TA, it's just so helpful for all of us to understand. Thanks for your kind comments. Sending you much peace!

    • @fuzzysocksucker2012
      @fuzzysocksucker2012 6 років тому

      Dr. Christian Conte ...as always!! 😂

  • @stevetoma3376
    @stevetoma3376 5 років тому +2

    Amazing way to look at relationships!

  • @dhanisk
    @dhanisk 4 роки тому +1

    Dr. Conte, Excellent analogy of the adult ego state and a couch. Thank you.
    What I need to figure out is the process of transforming myself from the critical parent/ hurt child ego state to that of an adult who is stationary like a couch :-)
    Any other videos or blog posts that specifically address this aspect? Thanks in advance.

  • @johnbowen4442
    @johnbowen4442 6 років тому +1

    That's I like your videos cause you communicate from the heart .Which is the only way to keep the ego at bay.

    • @DrChristianConte
      @DrChristianConte  6 років тому

      Thanks brother. Life's too short to not be authentic. Plus, I'm 44 years old, so at this point in my life, all I want to do is light up my corner of the world. Sending you all the best and much peace brother!

  • @angelicacampos8506
    @angelicacampos8506 5 років тому +1

    I love your videos
    Thank you so much

  • @chuckmcgee728
    @chuckmcgee728 6 років тому +2

    Adult ego state it is my friend. Great video. This is a topic that can be so confusing, but you mapped it out perfectly. God bless you and the family. Shared and liked.

    • @DrChristianConte
      @DrChristianConte  6 років тому +1

      Chuck McGee Thank you! I’ve been teaching this for exactly 20 years now (I started teaching TA in 1998), and every single time I teach it, I learn some nuance that enhances how I experience it. I’m grateful to share it, and I hope it helps some people. Thank you for always supporting me. You rock! Much peace!

  • @kyleaudette3776
    @kyleaudette3776 6 років тому +5

    This type of informative video is exactly what I need to process information. Your introduction to ego states is new to me and very interesting as well. I have been studying the archetypes from carl and the meyers-briggs adjustments. This ego states theory puts a new depth of perspective.

    • @DrChristianConte
      @DrChristianConte  6 років тому +1

      Kyle Audette Thanks brother! I teach Analytical Psychology. Carl Jung was one of the biggest influences on my life. In this video, I talk about TA by Eric Berne, who was a Neo-Freudian, and there are obviously some huge differences between Freud and Jung (and I’m much more heavily influenced by Jung than Freud), but I love Transactional Analysis - it’s pragmatic and it just makes so much sense! I’m grateful you like it brother!

  • @MrYatesj1
    @MrYatesj1 6 років тому +2

    Nice Doc, I am going to have to watch this one a few time and workout the details. Very Interesting!!

  • @SonicspinYT
    @SonicspinYT 6 років тому +2

    Thank you for this informative video. This is definitely new to me!

  • @venussemmens4124
    @venussemmens4124 5 років тому

    Awesome

  • @mtstav
    @mtstav 6 років тому +1

    Great as always! Thank you very much Christian!

  • @navjotminhas6171
    @navjotminhas6171 5 років тому +1

    Hi, how do you remain calm when someone is so critical towards you. Especially in a long term relationship. They don't even see what their doing while angry and when do they calm down, pretend whatever happened was no big deal. I know its my ego that wants me to humiliate them back because its my way of not feeling so little about myself and protecting myself. My biggest down fall is I react back, I react back because I am in pain. Your saying be the "ADULT." How do I or what do I tell myself, when someone is lashing out, insulting etc.

  • @magnolia2
    @magnolia2 5 років тому +1

    Woah this is GOLD! New subscriber! I’m so glad I’ve come across this video because I’ve always been aware of these emotional shifts, I just didn’t know what to call it.

    • @DrChristianConte
      @DrChristianConte  5 років тому

      Shaky Illustrates Thank you! 🙏🏼 Definitely sending you much peace!

  • @arisn32
    @arisn32 6 років тому +1

    Much peace, brother from another mother. Thank you.

  • @scrappy3471
    @scrappy3471 6 років тому +2

    This is great. I definately move between these egos all day

    • @DrChristianConte
      @DrChristianConte  6 років тому

      scrappy3471 thank you! Yes you definitely are not alone in that, because we all do for sure, but the key is remaining mindful about what’s going on inside you. Sending you all the best and tons of peace!

  • @bradthisisurgent
    @bradthisisurgent 6 років тому +1

    Thanks for the insight Dr. Conte

  • @savingmoney4236
    @savingmoney4236 6 років тому +1

    Very Nice. Thank you!!

  • @laurenhollows
    @laurenhollows 4 роки тому

    Great video!!

  • @alberthuanosta2009
    @alberthuanosta2009 6 років тому +1

    Nice ☺

  • @christinacorkern5381
    @christinacorkern5381 5 років тому

    Thanks so much!

  • @josephdominic919
    @josephdominic919 5 років тому +1

    Thanks for all your videos!

  • @bezvezmusic3149
    @bezvezmusic3149 6 років тому +1

    dude, yes. Thank you!!!

  • @andrewz8552
    @andrewz8552 4 роки тому

    Thank you, this is so helpful.

  • @alishaalexa4099
    @alishaalexa4099 6 років тому +1

    ❤❤❤

  • @gothicpc5025
    @gothicpc5025 6 років тому +1

    This is really great advice! I shall attempt to apply this knowledge to my relationships. All of them. (Yes, I needed it that much.)

    • @gothicpc5025
      @gothicpc5025 6 років тому +1

      Pretty much all the people I know struggle with ego states frequently, and I do too.

    • @DrChristianConte
      @DrChristianConte  6 років тому

      Yes! 100%. I always say there are two kinds of people: People with issues and dead people. So as long as we're alive, we ALL have issues. I think the goal is to do the best we can with what we have in every given moment. Sending you much peace for sure!

  • @HighImpactClub
    @HighImpactClub 6 років тому +1

    Wow, what a powerful teaching, I could not help but to run to my Facebook and share this. Thank you so much.
    Great example about the coach. Every time my children throw that ball of anger at me, I’m going to imagine I’m a coach, that mental picture would really help me stay in my Adult ego state of mind. What helps me stay longer in my Adult ego state is to keep reminding myself that people’s reactions are not about me most of the time, but they are about the way they perceive their reality

    • @DrChristianConte
      @DrChristianConte  6 років тому +1

      High Impact Club Yes! Definitely stay the couch bc you are 100% right: others’ reactions aren’t about you; I honestly think truly understanding that is one of the most freeing feelings! Sending you tons of peace to remain being the couch! :-)

    • @HighImpactClub
      @HighImpactClub 6 років тому +1

      Dr. Christian Conte 😂I wrote “couch” wrong several times😂😂, I’m sorry, English is my second language 🤣🤣🤣. Thank you so much for replying 👍

    • @DrChristianConte
      @DrChristianConte  6 років тому

      lol. No worries! Typos are easy to make - and they happen to all of us!!!

  • @anghell1823
    @anghell1823 5 років тому +1

    This is really really really good!

  • @tarikabdull8672
    @tarikabdull8672 5 років тому +1

    Great video !, I was trying to rekindle my relationship with ex,and I was should just use these skills on my own and be in the relationship,or share it with her so we both have this skill set to use on each other

  • @MekonenMeteor123
    @MekonenMeteor123 11 місяців тому

    I’m in child state a lot😂

  • @rachellel.3680
    @rachellel.3680 2 роки тому

    Hi Dr Conte, how to get in touch with for a personal session? Thanks.

  • @shardaelong2065
    @shardaelong2065 6 років тому

    imbetween the different situations and having to change the way your thinking. Is that considered to be bipolar?