Taking on an individual with disabilities is a calling and I believe that good parenting means knowing your limits. Thank you for knowing your self enough to say that looking for a kid with disabilities may not be your calling. And that is okay!!
It is certainly not for everybody, but what a blessing our kids have been to us. We never thought we could do it. We were older and our family was built over 2 decades! No regrets. 😊💕
It's fine to not want to adopt a kid with special needs. Quit saying it has anything to do with what you feel "called" to do. It's your choice. Not God's. Own that.
Frankie Tarala A calling is a destiny path. Sometimes you do things as certain things start to line up. You're looking for signs. It's not always so cut and dry! No one is going to say "I don't want a child with special needs" but they may say I'm not feeling called to that. (Drawn to that - built for that - wired for that- have the network of support to handle that).
@@chellemichelle5269 I refer to this as an assignment. You take your first step on any path and God leads and rarely where you think you want to go. I'm not sure any of us has as much a choice for our destiny as we think we do. I will say that my assignment has been a bigger blessing than anything I could have dreamed on my own. 😊💕
I respectfully disagree, Frankie Tarala. It is very important choices that she is making and she wants her Lord and Savior to walk these steps with her. She is looking for guidance through prayer and trusting in the Lord to lead her to her son or daughter. ‘Making a choice and sticking with it’ may be of selfish personal wants or needs and not looking for the right child that God attended to be theirs.
Michelle Louise looking for signs is a self fulfilling prophecy based on your own actual desires. If you’re trying to decide between two things and you know but haven’t admitted which thing you want, you will find signs pointing to that. Your mind subconsciously looks for signs that support what you want.
it seems like you've jumped into this way too fast and it disturbs me that you've learned pretty basic things about adoption when you're months and months in. as an adoptee, it troubles me that there are still so many adoptive parents who are not educating themselves as much as they can BEFORE they begin the process. of course you're going to be continuously learning stuff, but again: it seems like you are just making actions and figuring it out as you go, when you're far too into this. and as other adoptees have commented on this video, you have a huge platform and you're using really problematic language about adoption. the way you describe biological parents process of coming through adoption as "being coocoo" or "giving up their child" is just sooooo ignorant i can't even start. and again as other people have said: PRIORITIZE ADOPTEE'S EXPERIENCES IN ADOPTION EDUCATION. *ADOPTEES*. doesn't even seem like you've made time and space for talking/reading adoptees experiences directly. you have a lot of work to do.
They will be just fine. The faith and love they have will far outweigh and surpass any technical wording people are critical of. That is what a child wants.... To be loved right? Not perfection.
Marlene Kay what? No! She should educate herself and care. God doesn’t want us to rest on just faith and prayer, we have to do the work with the free will he gave us.
If you dont already watch/know 'phil & alex' they are amazing & i think they could really help you through the practicalitys & emotional sides of adoption. They also have a non profit called love multiply all about infertility & adoption. I hope everything goes smoother for you guys now ❤ (side note - phil used to be a pastor so he has that energy & alex is a nurse so shes supportive & logical. They also have two adorable domestically adopted girls with open adoptions)
Maddison Foster I love them! I was reading the comments to see if anybody suggested them yet because I was going to if nobody hadn’t. They’re so honest about it all but they have such great relationships with their birth moms❤️
You need to learn more about adoption overall. Words are key. Birth mother’s place their baby for adoption, not give them up. Phil and Alex are UA-camrs who have adopted domesticity, channel called Love Multiplies. Have lots of adoption videos and information.
So in other words it is said this way to make the mothers not feel so guilty, ashamed, sad or bad about their choice I take it. Because in reality they are "giving up" their child to someone else.
Marlene Kay - Not really. Words mean different things. When you place a child it means that the woman has thought long and hard about the decision to give her child a better life (reasons why vary and can be simple to complex) through adoption. Often birth mother’s look over many potential parent books searching for the right parent/parents for their unborn baby. It is no easy choice. “Give up” often means not wanted or thrown away without thought, which is not the case with most adopted children.
I work with foster youth who are up for adoption and they will tell you their parents gave them up because that's what they did. If I put a child up for adoption then I gave up that child. I'm not gonna sugar coat it.
Hey! I’m a mommy of a 5 year old special needs angel. She has cerebral palsy and many other diagnoses. And personally I think you hit the nail on the head! NO mom wishes for a child with special needs and that journey is truly not for everyone and that is OK! Don’t let ANYONE shame you for not choosing that path. I’m not offended one bit. On the other hand I feel so happy that you know that it’s not everyone’s journey and that’s 100% ok.
My cousins were both adopted and had open adoptions but referred to their bio moms as their "tummy mummy" which I really liked so there wasn't any "real mom/adoptive mom" kind of talk so the whole thing was way more positive for everyone
Thank you for always being an example that it is OKAY to change your mind. I feel like everyone feels the need to everything figured out, but things change, new informations appears, or sometimes you just want to change your mind and that fine! So excited for the "We have our kid" video!
Thank youuu! I appreciate that! Yea man... things totally change! You can’t know everything when you embark on anything! At least I don’t believe you can... so ya. Thanks for encouraging me dude 💕
I was a foster kid whos parent got them back 5 years later. It was a huge supreme court battle 2 years long, my birth dad won in the end. At the end it was "my parents" choice if i ever got to see my foster parents again. My dad said it was completely my choice - I spent most weekends at my foster parents house. I got two Christmas's and birthdays and they always got along (after the whole court thing of course) Talked to my foster mom today on the phone and I'm 23 now (:
I fostered many kids over the years and loved the process of getting to know them all, some who I wanted to adopt, but they went home. Sometimes fostering to adopt is faster than just trying to adopt an infant. I wouldn’t rule that out either.
A parent cannot just “get their child back“after their parental rights have been terminated. Domestic adoption has a bad rep; but their are so many myths and rumors that are simply not true.
It's not "myths and rumors." They're the stories of heartbroken would-be adoptive parents who have had the children they loved and raised ripped away from them.
It is a myth and rumor! Foster to adopt definitely has the risk of having to give the child back. (The foster system is to reunite child and bio parents) once their rights are terminated they cannot get them back.
Lexie Lou only if a parent’s rights have not been terminated. If your a foster parent this is something you would be educated about going in, and happens more often with babies and younger kids
Hi! I actually worked as a foster-adopt social worker for 4 years in los angles county ( one of the strictest counties in the country) and I’ve never witnessed or heard of birth parents getting their child back after their rights were termed and an adoption took place. DCFS/courts are usually pretty good about giving birth parents/birth family/kinship a million and one chances before terminating parental rights and moving forward with adoption. Birth parents are allowed to appeal a .26 hearing if they wanted to and set the hearing date back, but once the court finalizes the termination, it’s done for the most part. Because of this though, you can have a newborn in the home and not adopt them until they are two or three years old. It’s typically a very long process because the county and courts do their due diligence ( to the point of annoyance in some cases lol) and, overall, if the parents can get it together and are able to parent, it’s the best thing for the child. Also, I’ve been apart of open adoptions and they are amazing. Sometimes its best to put it on hold until the child becomes assimilated, but eventually, so long as the birth parent/relatives is healthy, it’s a great option. Another thing, it is kind of a myth that there are tons of people here willing to adopt/foster. It is so difficult to find loving, stable homes for these children, specifically certain races unfortunately. There are times where we had kids sleeping at DCFS because there were no open beds for them or the homes would refused to take them for whatever reasons. The foster to adopt route is way more difficult than private adoption because you are working with birth parents, abused and/or drug exposed children, and there are a lot of state and county policies you have to adhere to, but it can be an amazing experience if you have the time and, most importantly, the patience for it. Hopefully this helps lol :) P.s-legal guardianship is different! If you are a legal guardian to a child, the birth parent can come back and attempt to regain rights, but this is different than adoption.
Laura PhillipsLCSW thanks for this comment, I was about to comment the same info! As a prior CPS worker and soon to be foster mom, I was getting frustrated hearing her say that children from the foster care system can just get taken back by their bios after adoption or parental rights termination. Completely false. Thanks for your well worded comment!
Annmarie Faye hey! Nice, what county/state did you work for? That’s awesome that you’re going to foster! It takes a very special person to do that out of love for sure! I think most people who foster to adopt don’t really know the exact steps it took for it all to happen haha it’s a very confusing process so I can understand if people were given misinformation ( all counties and states run differently, too). An adoption can be annulled, but it’s rare and there has to be good reason for it. I know in LA county it can be challenged if Dcfs and the courts did not notify birth parents that the process was taking place. This is why they are so diligent about giving birth parents so many chances and warnings. They literally put adds out in local papers stating that the child is being put up for adoption and to contact Dcfs if you are a possible birth relative/NREFM who is interested in reunifying lol even parents who are in prison for life need to be notified that this is taking place. So it’s not impossible, it’s just crazy rare and I personally have never heard or witnessed it in my years as a foster-adopt social worker. I just hope people aren’t scared of that taking place and detours them of going the foster to adopt route, especially for those who don’t have the money for a private adoption. :/
This is very dependent on the part of the country that you live in. I live in the southern portion of the US and know many families who foster to adopt and have almost completed the adoption process only to have the biological parent end up getting their child back. However, private adoption is entirely different.
Kelsey Lowe yes, I for sure agree that laws/policies at all levels-e.g., agency, county and state/ccl-are different depending on where you live. I was referring mostly to after the completion of an adoption-so once the adoption has been signed off by a judge. Many children are reunified during the process of an adoption. In fact, I would make it very clear to my foster parents that this child isn’t legally yours until that judge signs those papers. Up until that point, the child can be reunified with birth parents/kinship/NREFM.This is very different than once an adoption has actually been completed. Just because a child is on what we refer to as “adoption track” or an “adoption placement” doesn’t mean the adoption process will reach full completion. Also, just because a .26 hearing went through and the parents rights were terminated, does not mean an adoption is for sure. I hope this clears up what I was commenting on:)
I’ve commented on previous videos and will say again, I am not trying to come across in a rude way but please please please do your research. Sure, getting info from other adoptive parents is helpful but ultimately you need to be talking to adoptees. Adoptive parents have no idea what it is like to be adopted. Join some online triad groups(I can recommend an amazing one if you are interested). Listen to adoptees. It will seriously be the absolute best way for you to be as prepared and informed as possible when you embark upon raising an adoptee. You also need to be cognizant of what you say. I know you mentioned you have a hard time explaining and are still learning but you are putting yourself on this platform with a large influence and providing information that is inaccurate and stereotyping right into main stream media’s view on adoption. Domestic adoption does not need another adoptive parent spokesman for the cause, sit down and listen to adoptees. Read The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier, You Don’t Look Adopted by Anne Heffron or The Girls Who Went Away by Ann Fesler; seek out ethical information. Speaking about domestic adoption...we are not orphans, we do not need to be rescued(currently there is an average of 25-30 waiting families for every newborn that is placed), and we are not gifts to be given/discussed like commodities. If our biofamily chose adoption so we could have better than what they thought they could give than adoptive parents need to step it up and put in the work to be amazing parents to their child. Don’t feign ignorance because you are uneducated, google still exists.
Another thing...for the post part, unless there are massive special needs, the vast majority of infants are adopted, immediately. The older children whose parents rights have already been terminated, you know the kids who actually DO need a home and rarely find one, those are the kids people aren’t adopting because they are ‘damaged goods’. The general public has no idea they perpetuate myths about birthmoms who choose to relinquish at birth. The average age of birthmoms today is late 20’s, already parenting one child and a non drug user. Research, girl, research.
@@PNWanderer This post and the comments are really distressing for me as an adoptee because it is so clear that the rainbows and unicorns narrative of adoption is the accepted theory here. I was adopted and had an amazing adoptive father but it did not sever the fact that I had another father and it did not keep me from seeking my biological family and feeling very very angry when my full story was told. Being adopted does not make me special or unique, it makes me robbed of a birth family. And she is talking about changing the names and a new certificate. She feels called to adopt........ no one has the right to completely change a childs identity and her calling to adopt does not take into consideration that god does not call people to destroy families.
thank you for including us every step of the way, i find myself looking forward to your updates and wondering about how its going for you guys!!! hopefully this path is the right one this time for you guys.
Cutegirlshairstyles adopted domestically twice. She has a long blog post for their first adoption. Maybe reach out to Mindy. And they are in concact with one birth mom
I just keep thinking, when all is said and done you, Dan, and your child are going to have such a BEAUTIFUL life and an amazing story to tell. You are great people and will make amazing parents!
My uncle has adopted two boys they were adopted at birth. And they have open adoption with there birth moms. It was nice for them to know why they were adopted but also my one cousin ended up with some health issues and them knowing the birth mom they were able to figure out what was wrong by his bio parents family health records.
@@NikkiPhillippi Lisa Osteen has an organization called HOPE!! She and Cindy Cruise Ratcliff both adopted their twins from the State of Tennessee. It might be worth looking into. I know they are here in Texas. However, maybe this is in the US allover. It won't hurt to look into it. Best Wishes to you and Dan. May you soon have some the best memories starting sooner than you know it. My prayers are with you.
a german blogger told her adopted chiled she came from her heart. the small girl asked her mother where baby's come from and where she came from because she is adopted... I cried when I heard it and I truly believe adopted children come from the heart of their (adopted) parents. It just destiny...
Oh man. I have so much to say but before I write a long comment or private message I wanted to say.....you are a beautiful soul, you will end up on the right path. Your child will find it's way to you, continue to have faith. I was adopted and I am also a biological mother to a little girl I placed for adoption. I have so much to say but probably should do it privately.
Thank you so much! I appreciate that! Side note, I realized I am choosing the wrong words some times! “Placed up for adoption” is so much more appropriate! I can’t imagine what that takes. 💕
We are a foster to adopt family. I would like to advocAte for all adoptions. Yes, some are messy ,but there are many children currently with in our system that need loving parents. Ours was fast , has allowed us to minister to a birth mother that was unAble to parent and desperately needs love and truth spoken to her. It was not my first choice,but we could not make a decision based on fear of what if... Best of luck.
I think what is so wonderful is that even if you aren’t adopting, these videos about your journey are applicable to all of us. Because it’s a journey about patiently waiting and listening to God. About how following what He asks sometimes isn’t simple but helps us grow. Which is so so beautiful, so thank you.
I was fostered to adopted by my aunt and uncle. My father had the only rights to me and the state removed me from his custody at the age of 4, I lived with my aunt and uncle until I was 7 and they felt called to adopt me in order to set up protection from my father, I was officially their child at 8 and during adoption my father signed his rights away. My birth certificate has my adopted parents name on it and when he tried to “claim” me (like I am lost luggage or something) he was met with the legal side of adoption and basically was not able to do anything. (This was in California btw -not sure if laws differ state to state) My older bio brother (on my bio mother’s side) was adopted privately with closed records. My birth mother had no way of knowing who even adopted him, what his new name was, or anything. All she was told was that he was placed with a family, how many kids they had, and that they passed the requests she had made for her child’s home. He found her as an adult (a few years ago) after his mom passed away. (This was also in California and both happened in the 80s). When it comes to open adoption, I would be worried about the bio parents getting involved and then disappearing and disappointing my child. I would never want my child to hurt. My parents told me that when I was old enough they would help me to find my bio mother if that’s what I wanted. I never felt the need or the want until I was in my 20s, but I always knew it was an option had I said the word. My mom and I have always spoken openly about being adopted and what she knew about my parents.
I cant wait until the day you have a beautiful little one running around your house! You will be an incredible mama Nikki no matter what way god puts that child into your hands! Big prays for your family
I am adopted myself and i never met ir heard about my bio parents,but to be honest in 25 years i never had the feeling to look for them or meet.They must had had their reason for It ,and i coudn't been happier with my adopted family!God bless your journey and keep going,one day your litlle one is going to come
I was adopted in the US with an open adoption. I can tell you that not knowing your biological parents, no matter how loving and providing your adoptive parents are, is a hole in your heart. Although my adoption was open, I did not have consistent contact with my birth parents for large parts of my life. My biological parents both have schizophrenia and have been on and off of being homeless throughout their life. Even with an open adoption, and my bio parents being, as you put, "crazy," they have not and could not "just show up on your doorstep." Up until I was 18, my parents chose how involved they wanted my biological parents to be, and when I turned 18, I was able to choose what kid of relationship I wanted with my birth parents. Off and on growing up, I received gifts and cards from my bio parents on birthdays and Christmas. It always felt nice to have that connection and know that they loved me despite not being able to raise me. Because my bio parents are ill, I did have some strange conversations with them growing up and even heard some hurtful and confusing things come from them. Even then, I was able to deal with these things in my own way, knowing that they are ill. Looking back, I would never have wanted to take that contact away because of those instances. My bio father recently passed away very suddenly, but I was able to have a wonderful relationship with him the last two years of his life. Those two years I was able to talk with him filled my heart in a way that I really needed on a deep level. I want to reiterate, my adoptive parents are the best and love me and care for me so well. But that relationship with my biological Dad, knowing that he loved and admired me, being able to talk to him about characteristics we shared, was something that filled a hole in my heart. I feel that you still have a lot to learn about adoption, so I wanted to share my story with you. I hope it helps and best of luck on your journey.
I've haven't watched the whole video yet, but I think the fear of the person taking back the child after adoption is EXTREMELY rare. It can be a large legal nightmare to do so after the papers have been signed, and in some cases, impossible. Wishing you the best!
My aunt is worried about that also. She said she’d kill them. Lol. She was only kidding but I would get feeling that way. These days ya just never know though.
This is all so interesting to watch and I’m sure it’s so helpful for people in similar situations! Please don’t let negative comments and those picking at your ‘language’ (sigh) or honesty stop you from sharing this experience with us!xxx
You shouldn't feel bad about not being open to a child with severe special needs. You are right that mothers that are pregnant aren't hoping for it, it just happens. I have a child with special needs and it's been such an unexpected rollercoaster.
RE: adopting a child with special needs. I'm glad you don't feel bad about specifically requesting a "typical" child. You absolutely should not. Typical and special needs children need homes, not just one or the other. Our oldest is 3.5. When she was 1.5 we had her sister. A few months later she was diagnosed with Autism. She is an absolute ray of sunshine to anyone who meets her. I would not have hoped for a child with extra needs but you can bet your ass I would choose her 50x over if given the chance. We are trying for number 3 and while I'm terrified of having another child who struggles, I know what a joy C is to our lives and will love the heck out of any child Mother Nature gives us. You will too. You do what is right for your family and don't you dare feel guilty.
8 kids later..2 typical..I am going to say ALL kids are special needs!! LOL! On a serious note, you just never do know sometimes. The diagnoses just keep coming, but these kids really are the air we breathe. Such a rewarding life! 😊❤
Nikki, I give you so much credit for how open and vulnerable you are on your platform. I never comment but just watching you today I couldn't help but to tell you how brave you are. ❤
Would you ever adopt siblings? Just curious. My parents adopted my second cousins. Their parents were not able to take care of them and everyone wanted to keep them in the family. At first we only had my little brother. He had two other sisters. And after a few months of having him my parents decided to take them as well. I’m excited to keep watching your journey. I love this whole series
Rebekah Heredia I think in a lot of states siblings up for adoption is the norm. For the most part in my state when you look at the state adoption board, it’s usually siblings ranging from 2-6 kids they want to keep together.
You already know how excited I am for you guys!!! I am always in awe of your endless faith, my friend! I cannot wait to follow along this journey with you! I'm always a text (or voice memo) away! 💕
I’m excited to see how this journey unfolds for y’all! My husband and I are currently fostering but hope to adopt from the foster system one day when God presents us with the right opportunity. We’re just loving on our bonus kids for as long as we have them for now and are following the Lord’s leading.
You’re amazing Nikki! You have to do whatever is right for you and your husband and I don’t think you should have to justify any of your decisions 😊You will be an amazing mum! Xxxx
I love listening to your journey. I am an adoptee, adoptive mom, foster mom and previously worked as an adoption social worker here in TN for about 5 years before we adopted our daughter. It sounds like you have surrounded yourself with a wonderful community of support! If you have questions though, please feel free to message me!
Please educate yourself further because what you are describing is a fostering then adopting the foster child. That happens a lot but not when you are doing a straight adoption. You need to do more research
Usually, you are right, but not always. Yes, our system is foster to adopt, but almost always with the hope of reuniting a child with the birth family. Once parental rights are terminated, an adoption plan can be made (not ALWAYS with the same foster family, either) Our youngest child was placed voluntarily through the county by the birth family after we had been identified as not only the foster family, but also the permanent adoptive family. This was an exception that was made due to a specific disability and the county's relationship with our family after extensive counseling with the birth family. In 25 years of being involved in the adoption community, I am still learning. I do think we should educate ourselves prior to adopting, but it is a process. I certainly have said some ignorant things starting out myself. She will learn her way with compassion shown by those of us with experience. Every situation is a little different and considerations can be made for exceptions in regard to what is in the best interest of the child. ❤
You can do this! :) We have a 5 month old daughter (biological; she’s our rainbow baby after a previous loss), and have also been raising our great nieces (12 & 14) for the past two years. The night we went to court for them, I found out I was pregnant after having a previous loss. They are wonderful girls! My advice to you is to strongly research Reactive Attachment Disorder. It is something rarely talked about in adoption and foster circles, but it is something that greatly impacts so many children, and their caretakers. We went in absolutely blind, and it would have been so helpful to at the very least have had someone mention RAD to us, what to expect potentially, resources and support groups that might help, and how we could try to practice attachment parenting to help bond with them. We are still getting the hang of things, but they are wonderful kids, and we love them so much! Be open to support groups through this process; it can really help! If you wind up with a little one, baby wearing is such a wonderful tool to help deepen that connection. (You can even baby wear small toddlers!) If you adopt or foster an older child, please consider family counseling as a bonding tool- even the most easy adoptions or foster scenarios can still be traumatic, especially for the children, and knowing they have family to support them through it and answer questions honestly makes such a difference. Whatever your path, I wish you guys the best of luck; y’all are going to be incredible parents! :)
I agree wholeheartedly. Our adopted daughter came to us and we were told she had zero issues mentally or physically. Fast forward 3 months and she shatters our house window with her fists during a "fit" and she spiraled from there. Turned out it was known and a large reason why she had been passed from previous homes. I had to fight like hell to get therapy and meds and services she needed and now she is so so much better. Push to be fully informed before accepting the child for sure, for you and them!
My husband and I started working with Adoptions from the Heart about 18 months ago. We have been waiting since February to be matched with a birth family. The process does take time for private domestic adoption especially with paperwork, home study, clearances, updates, etc. but, we are so excited about our decision to adopt domestically and cannot wait to be matched with a newborn! It’s scary, without a doubt. I am sure it’s scary enough being a first time mom but adding in all the logistics and unknowns of an adoption and going through the process is overwhelming. Thankfully we have an amazing support system with our families and friends and my husband is THE best partner I could have asked for to be by my side through this journey. We have taken many classes through the agency and they offer a free online webinar about domestic adoption on their website. Good luck to you!!!!!!
We just adopted domestically and our baby was born July of this year! We have a beautiful open adoption. It is the very best thing that has EVER happened to us! I know there is a lot of fear, but I can tell you the Lord took away every fear we had. And we are so blessed by it all!
Maybe it's not the whole west but I feel like in the west of America people would not be like "omg you're having a hard time? Come be with me at my house and let's talk." That is so magical! I love that so much. I wish everywhere was like that.
All I want to say is that you’ve inspired my husband and I to adopt. We’re only 25 so we’re years away from starting the process. Thank you for sharing your journey.
I love videos like this one, when you’re just chilling on the bed just talking. This is so exciting, domestic adoption is the best! Giving the opportunity to someone that is so close to home is amazing. I wish this goes way better than the international issues that have come up. Praying for you. ❤️
have you considered journaling your experience, kind of like love letters to/ prayer for your future child? I think that it would make a great addition to a baby book one day.
So so excited to hear this! My siblings were adopted domestically. There are definitely risks with any adoption, but there are amazing kids here in our country that need love as much as those internationally do. You both will be amazing parents and a blessing to your future child. ☺️
Ahhh Nikki I’m so sorry you’re dealing with anxiety and panic attacks. I was there for three years. Lots of hard work, life changes and therapy .. I don’t get panic attacks anymore. Sending you all the love, you’ll get past it- it’s a journey.
I love that you're sharing this journey with us and also I LOVE that you and Dan allow God to guide you - it's super inspiring and such a positive way to live life.
My ex-boyfriend was adopted. His birth mom had him at 16 or 17 and she knew that she would not be able to raise him properly so she put him up for adoption. His adoptive parents still keep the communication between him and his birth family. My ex has 2 birth brothers and a birth sister but he doesn't have any siblings from his adoptive parents. I just always thought it was cool how they kept the communication going between him and his birth family!
I know you talk about what you’re being called to do. And I know the foster program is very hard, but I work with a lot of foster families. And have met many foster moms and I believe you would make an amazing foster mom. The foster program is very hard and emotional but it’s very rewarding for many
I can identify so much with your emotions, I am a first-time mom due in April and a lot of what you said rings true for me as well. The only real difference is you can choose to back out if you really don't feel ready. That being said there are totally days I feel like what did I get myself into and am I ready for this? I am also excited and anticipatory and can't wait to get to know this little person I am creating. Whomever this little soul is god perfectly timed them to come into our lives and I know he will do the same for you!
My heart feels like this is the most open and raw you've ever been made me emotional and really spoke to me I had a miscarriage in September of this year and since ive been called to wanting to adopt
I'm so sorry you had to go through so many obstacles! Just remember, God is there with you every step of the way!! He knows exactly what He is doing! ❤️ I'll be praying for wisdom and discernment in the things to come.
I always feel the need to say, when you adopt you are not saving anyone, especially domestically. They are way more parents wanting babies to adopt than their are babies to adopt. This is just the truth. Fostering is a whole different thing all together.
Nikki, I love this video! I was adopted an an infant through a domestic private adoption. I have known my entire life that I want to adopt. It’s always been in my heart. I am now a caseworker in my state and try to advocate for domestic adoption as much as I can because there are so many kids that need loving homes. Best of luck on your journey!!
I wonder if your life being so public will make this any easier. Either someone looking for a family is a subscriber, or just because people can look you up and learn SO much about you- probably more than they get via looking through adoption books.
My younger cousin was adopted as his mother was really ill and unable to care for him and my aunt(his grandma) has such a beautiful relationship with the adopted family and her grandson. It’s really beautiful💜💜
I'm happy to hear that you are going to pursue domestic adoption! I feel as though the process is much more transparent than a lot of international adoptions. In some countries, parents sign away their rights as they are told their kid is going to North America or Europe to live with a family and get a better education, but they will come back to them at 17 or 18 - which obviously doesn't happen. I've also heard stories about mothers who do not have resources to care for their child, so they bring them to orphanages, where they know their kid will be fed and sheltered, but visit every day. Unfortunately, their child then gets adopted and taken out of the country. I've heard of death certificates being forged among some other really awful shady things with international adoption. I have been very curious as to your thoughts in regards to the dark side of international adoption to that extent. I know you are an advocate against slavery and feel passionate in that regard, but I'm hoping you could comment or make a video discussing that as well? I love all the adoption updates. xx
wallygator93 A friend of mine was adopted from an SOS Children's Village in South America long ago. She's been looking for her birth family ever since she was of age, but neither her adoptive parents nor anyone in South America would help her, even though it's clear they have information. Everyone acts super secretive about everything that occurred in the organization back then. Her parents get very upset when she brings it up, they have hidden away all the documents from the adoption. My friend believes that they might have "bought" her. Back in the day, foreign people came to the orphanages with a large donation, chose the child they wanted, and took it with them. Whether this happened to her or not, there's something about her adoption that wasn't legal and that even her parents are trying to conceal. Children are still being separated from their families through the lies of the orphanages. It must have been so common back in the day, even with those well known charity organizations, it's crazy that they've always gotten away spot free.
SixBlindKids I don't see why someone who hasn't been through this first hand should not talk about it? Don't you want people to educate themselves on the matter and perhaps even get involved in changing legislation in certain countries to provide resources to help families stay together and keep them from "baby recruiters"? This is a completely separate topic from the international and domestic adoption we all know and support.
SixBlindKids Who else would you learn from if not the people who are personally dealing with and actively fighting the issue? Those are the only people raising awareness as far as I know. I heard there's been considerable change in Haiti in recent years, no? Conversations spread the word and make it reach the public. What's shocking to me is that those big organizations have never faced consequences, with so many shady adoptions.. But my friend doesn't know anybody else this might have happened to, so she feels alone. She did find out that she had a bio sister at the Children's Village; they were separated and her sister was adopted to a different country. She did meet bio relatives in South America but again, no one would talk. I suggested flat out confronting her parents with the wildest theory.
@@maurapukiki I have deleted my comment as I accidentally posted it to the wrong person. I apologize for that as well as any backstory I may have missed. I had stumbled on this channel for the first time and joined the conversation about adoption as we have grown our family through adoption over 25 years. We have experiences that go beyond the typical in many aspects and I can relate first hand to your friends experience. I hope she DOES continue to share her story and get her answers and like you, I believe agencies and organizations should be held accountable for situations such as you describe. These are difficult situations that most prefer to keep private as the pain involved can be devestating to so many. I hope to be able to share what we have learned eventually, but there are other families involved. I hope you and your family have a blessed and happy Thanksgiving. ❤
SixBlindKids Thank you, happy Thanksgiving to you and yours! ❤️ There's really no need to apologize or delete your comment. I hope the people that have been similarly affected can come together if they feel alone with their case, as my friend does. The decision is ultimately a deeply private one. Since we aren't in touch with other adoptees and/or families, we appreciate every bit of advice, suggestions and little smithereens of similar experiences anyone might be able to share. We are grasping at straws at this point. You are the first person that can relate first hand to the story, however I completely understand if you don't want to talk more about it or don't wish to share details.
wowow, I love watching these videos and getting a taste of how adoption goes! I'm adopted myself domestically and I've known my birth mother my whole life, and it really is a beautiful thing I wouldn't have any other way! keep sharing your story and telling your truth; if this type of platform existed when my parents were adopting I'm sure it would've helped them so much, and I just hope it helps someone in a similar situation now! best of luck to you guys ❤️❤️❤️
Just wanted to clarify something regarding foster care/adoption through the foster system: once TPR (termination of parental rights) has been granted, often by a judge in foster situations but sometimes through birth parents signing away their rights, that child is no longer their child in the legal sense. If the child gets adopted by foster parents, the paperwork is exactly the same as what you will have through a private domestic adoption. The biological parents can’t come back years later and demand the child , as legally, you would have the full rights as if you had birthed the child yourself. While the child is still a foster child, before TPR, things are a whole lot more complicated. Future foster parent/adoptive mom here who has done years of research (and loves your adoption updates!)
Hi Carolyn. Thanks for your informative comment. Do you have any insight on how long the foster period usually is before the child becomes legally yours?
@@nimraha.5064 it depends a lot of the situation with the child's biological parent. I have heard of people taking under a year and others closer to five years.
Nimrah A. Kelsey is right. The time period can vary from 6 months to many many years. The main goal of foster care is reunification with their biological parent(s). If that’s not possible at all, they will terminate rights. The state tries to place children with kin then. Then, the foster parents who already have the kiddos have the option to adopt if suitable kin isn’t found. There are also children who are legally freed for adoption, living with foster families but waiting for a forever family. They’re typically older kids and I think it’s a requirement that they live with you for 6 months before an adoption can occur to make sure it’s a good fit for you and the child.
@@Kayin2626 thank you so much for the information! Appreciate it. I hope to start down this road and info from people with some sort of first hand experience helps so much more than stories.
I really applaud you for your transparency, this is YOUR adoption journey only you have to live and experience it so walk boldly in your calling and in your truth.
Looking at the world with different eyes. God is creating a beautiful story! So many life lesson in this video I don’t want to adopt I’m 23 and your message is inspiring
The fact that you two have love that you want to give a child - is a beautiful thing. I hope your mommy & daddy dreams (of the other than fur variety - which you're great at) come true soon and what a lucky little lamb he or she will be to be WANTED! Hugs, Love & Blessings to you All Nikki ❤️
I am so excited for you! I don't kniw if I've ever commented before, but when you first started talking about adoption, I felt that domestic would be better for you. I don't know why. But I'm happy that God has led you in that direction and I wish you the best!
I work with many special needs kiddos (NICU/PICU nurse, actually worked at Vanderbilt a few years ago!) And taking one knowingly into your home is a massive commitment. There is nothing wrong with knowing your limitations. 💕
You’re going to be such an amazing mom ❤️ you have the most beautiful soul, and I truly hope everything turns out well for you. Whoever ends up as a part of your family will be so incredibly lucky
There are a lot of critical comments😔 and a distinct majority are adoptees. You guys are doing great! It’s all part of the leap of faith you take when you decide to adopt! We are adopting from the Philippines! 🇺🇸🇵🇭
I wish you all the best, but encourage you to think about the way you're speaking about a HUMAN - "getting" a child seems crass? The child is not being "given up" - you are not better than the mother who grew and birthed this child and that should not be the way you're speaking of it
@@xojustmelxo I appreciate your opinion - however I have watched all the videos, and disagree (as do the rest of the comment section if you take a took at those).
Happy you guys are looking into domestic adoption!! I’m a NICU nurse and I see a lot of little ones with really sad and unfortunate social situations. I would be happy to see any of my patients go home with parents like you guys :)
Totally was thinking the same thing you said toward the end.... it is going to be so cool to look back and see all of these obstacles were just God putting you right where you need to be at the right time. 💙 So excites to see your journey continue! Always praying for you! 💙💙💙
I am praying for you and your path to parenthood! I just wanted to send a word of caution your way... please be careful with domestic adoption... if you do it, get a REALLY REALLY good lawyer!!! We had our son for 9 months and he was taken away... and the courts were more than happy to give him back. It is a TERRIFYING, HEARTBREAKING situation.
God bless you both🙌 Its amazing how he put this on your heart to adopt and give an orphan a chance for a happy life... You guys are going to love being parents. 💕
My friends fostered to adopt. The great thing about that is it is free and you don’t have to pay tons of money. The downsides are until your adoption in final after you have fostered them for a little while they can be taken back.
Speaking as a birth mother that has an open adoption, I would 1 million percent recommend the agency ABBA adoption out of Arkansas. They are wonderful and definitely worth looking into if you’re interested ☺️ they have a Facebook and I believe that their videos are on UA-cam as well.
I love following your journey! I commented awhile ago on one of your earlier videos when you all were just starting this process and briefly told you my story. As a reminder I was adopted from China through Holt but my boyfriend of 4+ years is also adopted from the US in an open adoption. He personally chooses not to see his biological family as much but his sister who is in the same situation sees her mother and half sister quite frequently! And I love that even though international didn't work out you guys are still moving forward with the adoption process. There are a ton of children who need adopted both internationally and in the United States. ❤️
Wow Nikki, thank you for sharing this part of your life because many would prefer to keep this part of their life more private. One thing i will say is that when you started sharing your adoption process with us, i wasnt truly intrigued to watch it because ive always found adoption to be very confusing and i didnt quite understand it. But after watching every video of your process up until now , i am so thankful that i kept watching these videos because it has opened my eyes and taught me so much about what adoption really is and i find it cool how i get to learn about this process while you learn as well! I am still young to think about kids but recently i was diagnosed with PCOS and my gynecologist said it often leads to infertility, so he advised me to think of other options if I potentially wanted to start a family one day and when I received that news it was hard and it hit me like a truck because ive always imagined myself carrying my own baby but now by the help of your story it has helped me to not be so afraid of this beautiful potential option for me and for that i am so thankful to you 🧡 I wish you the best in this journey and its always in Gods hands :)
When I saw this video I thought well why should I watch I don’t even want children, but something told me to click. And when you talked about god telling you what to do it clicked. I’m chronic ill (lupus, migraine etc) and have recently been diagnosed with a prolactinoma and trying medication (where the side effects are super bad) for the last week I’ve gotten new issues, hard to breath, heart palpitations and chest pains. And i gotten stuck with the words when is it enough? This video reminded me that god doesn’t give you more than you can handle and he has a plan. All I can do is push forward, making sure that I get the help I need and listen to what he says and it will be alright! Thank you for reminding me!
Something that my pastor's wife did when they adopted was they created an email account just for them and the biological mother. Once a month; she will send pictures and updates to the mother, to let her know how the child is doing, what the child looks like, etc. They also do this so that the child can contact the mother when they are older or when they become curious about who their biological mother is. I too am wanting to adopt so seeing your journey through all of this is so helpful! Thank you so much for sharing! I hope this helps you! Love you a bunch!
towards the end of this video when you started a thought calmy with "I know that God is weaving ..." I had chills and tears. Becuase that is so it, love. You will look back on all these steps. All these pathways, doors closed doors opened. And it will all tell this beautiful story. As it should be. You will have the family you were meant to have. And i mean that statement in the deepest way. It's all so amazing and I can't wait to see the love and beginning of the new chapter in your life as parents
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Taking on an individual with disabilities is a calling and I believe that good parenting means knowing your limits. Thank you for knowing your self enough to say that looking for a kid with disabilities may not be your calling. And that is okay!!
SO perfectly said
It is certainly not for everybody, but what a blessing our kids have been to us. We never thought we could do it. We were older and our family was built over 2 decades! No regrets. 😊💕
It's fine to not want to adopt a kid with special needs. Quit saying it has anything to do with what you feel "called" to do. It's your choice. Not God's. Own that.
Frankie Tarala A calling is a destiny path. Sometimes you do things as certain things start to line up. You're looking for signs. It's not always so cut and dry! No one is going to say "I don't want a child with special needs" but they may say I'm not feeling called to that. (Drawn to that - built for that - wired for that- have the network of support to handle that).
@@chellemichelle5269 I refer to this as an assignment. You take your first step on any path and God leads and rarely where you think you want to go. I'm not sure any of us has as much a choice for our destiny as we think we do. I will say that my assignment has been a bigger blessing than anything I could have dreamed on my own. 😊💕
I respectfully disagree, Frankie Tarala. It is very important choices that she is making and she wants her Lord and Savior to walk these steps with her. She is looking for guidance through prayer and trusting in the Lord to lead her to her son or daughter.
‘Making a choice and sticking with it’ may be of selfish personal wants or needs and not looking for the right child that God attended to be theirs.
Dana Bays very well said 👍🏼
Michelle Louise looking for signs is a self fulfilling prophecy based on your own actual desires. If you’re trying to decide between two things and you know but haven’t admitted which thing you want, you will find signs pointing to that. Your mind subconsciously looks for signs that support what you want.
it seems like you've jumped into this way too fast and it disturbs me that you've learned pretty basic things about adoption when you're months and months in. as an adoptee, it troubles me that there are still so many adoptive parents who are not educating themselves as much as they can BEFORE they begin the process. of course you're going to be continuously learning stuff, but again: it seems like you are just making actions and figuring it out as you go, when you're far too into this. and as other adoptees have commented on this video, you have a huge platform and you're using really problematic language about adoption. the way you describe biological parents process of coming through adoption as "being coocoo" or "giving up their child" is just sooooo ignorant i can't even start. and again as other people have said: PRIORITIZE ADOPTEE'S EXPERIENCES IN ADOPTION EDUCATION. *ADOPTEES*. doesn't even seem like you've made time and space for talking/reading adoptees experiences directly. you have a lot of work to do.
They will be just fine. The faith and love they have will far outweigh and surpass any technical wording people are critical of. That is what a child wants.... To be loved right? Not perfection.
Marlene Kay what? No! She should educate herself and care. God doesn’t want us to rest on just faith and prayer, we have to do the work with the free will he gave us.
If you dont already watch/know 'phil & alex' they are amazing & i think they could really help you through the practicalitys & emotional sides of adoption. They also have a non profit called love multiply all about infertility & adoption. I hope everything goes smoother for you guys now ❤ (side note - phil used to be a pastor so he has that energy & alex is a nurse so shes supportive & logical. They also have two adorable domestically adopted girls with open adoptions)
I just recently reached out to Alex! They seem so sweet!🙌🏻😊
Maddison Foster I love them! I was reading the comments to see if anybody suggested them yet because I was going to if nobody hadn’t. They’re so honest about it all but they have such great relationships with their birth moms❤️
I love Phil & Alex, they were the first channel I found when looking for adoption related videos. They are a gorgeous family!
Maddison Foster omg! Definitely Phil and Alex are the ones to talk with. I love them
You need to learn more about adoption overall. Words are key. Birth mother’s place their baby for adoption, not give them up. Phil and Alex are UA-camrs who have adopted domesticity, channel called Love Multiplies. Have lots of adoption videos and information.
So in other words it is said this way to make the mothers not feel so guilty, ashamed, sad or bad about their choice I take it. Because in reality they are "giving up" their child to someone else.
Marlene Kay - Not really. Words mean different things. When you place a child it means that the woman has thought long and hard about the decision to give her child a better life (reasons why vary and can be simple to complex) through adoption. Often birth mother’s look over many potential parent books searching for the right parent/parents for their unborn baby. It is no easy choice. “Give up” often means not wanted or thrown away without thought, which is not the case with most adopted children.
I work with foster youth who are up for adoption and they will tell you their parents gave them up because that's what they did. If I put a child up for adoption then I gave up that child. I'm not gonna sugar coat it.
Shannon Baker I'm adopted and I've never said my birth mother "gave me up". The original comment is correct. She should learn some better terms!
@@Kristenp11 I'm saying to some people its not offensive at all. Just because you prefer a different term doesnt mean everyone else does too.
Hey! I’m a mommy of a 5 year old special needs angel. She has cerebral palsy and many other diagnoses. And personally I think you hit the nail on the head! NO mom wishes for a child with special needs and that journey is truly not for everyone and that is OK! Don’t let ANYONE shame you for not choosing that path. I’m not offended one bit. On the other hand I feel so happy that you know that it’s not everyone’s journey and that’s 100% ok.
Gotta know your limits, for sure! God bless your daughter. ❤ Our youngest has CP, too..
My cousins were both adopted and had open adoptions but referred to their bio moms as their "tummy mummy" which I really liked so there wasn't any "real mom/adoptive mom" kind of talk so the whole thing was way more positive for everyone
Regan that’s really sweet! I love it
this is the sweetest thing I've read all week, tummy mummy awww!
Thank you for always being an example that it is OKAY to change your mind. I feel like everyone feels the need to everything figured out, but things change, new informations appears, or sometimes you just want to change your mind and that fine! So excited for the "We have our kid" video!
Thank youuu! I appreciate that! Yea man... things totally change! You can’t know everything when you embark on anything! At least I don’t believe you can... so ya. Thanks for encouraging me dude 💕
This is incredibly problematic. I think you’re coming from a good place, but PLEASE educate yourself about adoption from the ADOPTEE’s perspective.
Megan Martinez couldn’t agree more
Megan Martinez why is it problematic??
I was a foster kid whos parent got them back 5 years later. It was a huge supreme court battle 2 years long, my birth dad won in the end. At the end it was "my parents" choice if i ever got to see my foster parents again. My dad said it was completely my choice - I spent most weekends at my foster parents house. I got two Christmas's and birthdays and they always got along (after the whole court thing of course) Talked to my foster mom today on the phone and I'm 23 now (:
For a second I thought you were “baby Jessica” 😝
I fostered many kids over the years and loved the process of getting to know them all, some who I wanted to adopt, but they went home. Sometimes fostering to adopt is faster than just trying to adopt an infant. I wouldn’t rule that out either.
We can have our hearts set on something, but God has his own plans for us and we just need to trust the process 💕.
Yessss🙏🏻
Amen!
A parent cannot just “get their child back“after their parental rights have been terminated. Domestic adoption has a bad rep; but their are so many myths and rumors that are simply not true.
That’s what I’m finding out!
It's not "myths and rumors." They're the stories of heartbroken would-be adoptive parents who have had the children they loved and raised ripped away from them.
It is a myth and rumor! Foster to adopt definitely has the risk of having to give the child back. (The foster system is to reunite child and bio parents) once their rights are terminated they cannot get them back.
Lexie Lou only if a parent’s rights have not been terminated. If your a foster parent this is something you would be educated about going in, and happens more often with babies and younger kids
Hi! I actually worked as a foster-adopt social worker for 4 years in los angles county ( one of the strictest counties in the country) and I’ve never witnessed or heard of birth parents getting their child back after their rights were termed and an adoption took place. DCFS/courts are usually pretty good about giving birth parents/birth family/kinship a million and one chances before terminating parental rights and moving forward with adoption. Birth parents are allowed to appeal a .26 hearing if they wanted to and set the hearing date back, but once the court finalizes the termination, it’s done for the most part. Because of this though, you can have a newborn in the home and not adopt them until they are two or three years old. It’s typically a very long process because the county and courts do their due diligence ( to the point of annoyance in some cases lol) and, overall, if the parents can get it together and are able to parent, it’s the best thing for the child. Also, I’ve been apart of open adoptions and they are amazing. Sometimes its best to put it on hold until the child becomes assimilated, but eventually, so long as the birth parent/relatives is healthy, it’s a great option. Another thing, it is kind of a myth that there are tons of people here willing to adopt/foster. It is so difficult to find loving, stable homes for these children, specifically certain races unfortunately. There are times where we had kids sleeping at DCFS because there were no open beds for them or the homes would refused to take them for whatever reasons. The foster to adopt route is way more difficult than private adoption because you are working with birth parents, abused and/or drug exposed children, and there are a lot of state and county policies you have to adhere to, but it can be an amazing experience if you have the time and, most importantly, the patience for it. Hopefully this helps lol :)
P.s-legal guardianship is different! If you are a legal guardian to a child, the birth parent can come back and attempt to regain rights, but this is different than adoption.
Laura PhillipsLCSW thanks for this comment, I was about to comment the same info! As a prior CPS worker and soon to be foster mom, I was getting frustrated hearing her say that children from the foster care system can just get taken back by their bios after adoption or parental rights termination. Completely false. Thanks for your well worded comment!
Annmarie Faye hey! Nice, what county/state did you work for? That’s awesome that you’re going to foster! It takes a very special person to do that out of love for sure!
I think most people who foster to adopt don’t really know the exact steps it took for it all to happen haha it’s a very confusing process so I can understand if people were given misinformation ( all counties and states run differently, too). An adoption can be annulled, but it’s rare and there has to be good reason for it. I know in LA county it can be challenged if Dcfs and the courts did not notify birth parents that the process was taking place. This is why they are so diligent about giving birth parents so many chances and warnings. They literally put adds out in local papers stating that the child is being put up for adoption and to contact Dcfs if you are a possible birth relative/NREFM who is interested in reunifying lol even parents who are in prison for life need to be notified that this is taking place. So it’s not impossible, it’s just crazy rare and I personally have never heard or witnessed it in my years as a foster-adopt social worker. I just hope people aren’t scared of that taking place and detours them of going the foster to adopt route, especially for those who don’t have the money for a private adoption. :/
This is very dependent on the part of the country that you live in. I live in the southern portion of the US and know many families who foster to adopt and have almost completed the adoption process only to have the biological parent end up getting their child back. However, private adoption is entirely different.
Kelsey Lowe yes, I for sure agree that laws/policies at all levels-e.g., agency, county and state/ccl-are different depending on where you live. I was referring mostly to after the completion of an adoption-so once the adoption has been signed off by a judge. Many children are reunified during the process of an adoption. In fact, I would make it very clear to my foster parents that this child isn’t legally yours until that judge signs those papers. Up until that point, the child can be reunified with birth parents/kinship/NREFM.This is very different than once an adoption has actually been completed. Just because a child is on what we refer to as “adoption track” or an “adoption placement” doesn’t mean the adoption process will reach full completion. Also, just because a .26 hearing went through and the parents rights were terminated, does not mean an adoption is for sure. I hope this clears up what I was commenting on:)
I’ve commented on previous videos and will say again, I am not trying to come across in a rude way but please please please do your research. Sure, getting info from other adoptive parents is helpful but ultimately you need to be talking to adoptees. Adoptive parents have no idea what it is like to be adopted. Join some online triad groups(I can recommend an amazing one if you are interested). Listen to adoptees. It will seriously be the absolute best way for you to be as prepared and informed as possible when you embark upon raising an adoptee.
You also need to be cognizant of what you say. I know you mentioned you have a hard time explaining and are still learning but you are putting yourself on this platform with a large influence and providing information that is inaccurate and stereotyping right into main stream media’s view on adoption. Domestic adoption does not need another adoptive parent spokesman for the cause, sit down and listen to adoptees. Read The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier, You Don’t Look Adopted by Anne Heffron or The Girls Who Went Away by Ann Fesler; seek out ethical information. Speaking about domestic adoption...we are not orphans, we do not need to be rescued(currently there is an average of 25-30 waiting families for every newborn that is placed), and we are not gifts to be given/discussed like commodities. If our biofamily chose adoption so we could have better than what they thought they could give than adoptive parents need to step it up and put in the work to be amazing parents to their child. Don’t feign ignorance because you are uneducated, google still exists.
Another thing...for the post part, unless there are massive special needs, the vast majority of infants are adopted, immediately. The older children whose parents rights have already been terminated, you know the kids who actually DO need a home and rarely find one, those are the kids people aren’t adopting because they are ‘damaged goods’.
The general public has no idea they perpetuate myths about birthmoms who choose to relinquish at birth. The average age of birthmoms today is late 20’s, already parenting one child and a non drug user. Research, girl, research.
@@PNWanderer This post and the comments are really distressing for me as an adoptee because it is so clear that the rainbows and unicorns narrative of adoption is the accepted theory here. I was adopted and had an amazing adoptive father but it did not sever the fact that I had another father and it did not keep me from seeking my biological family and feeling very very angry when my full story was told. Being adopted does not make me special or unique, it makes me robbed of a birth family. And she is talking about changing the names and a new certificate. She feels called to adopt........ no one has the right to completely change a childs identity and her calling to adopt does not take into consideration that god does not call people to destroy families.
This comment!! I was adopted myself 🙌🏼
thank you for including us every step of the way, i find myself looking forward to your updates and wondering about how its going for you guys!!! hopefully this path is the right one this time for you guys.
Cutegirlshairstyles adopted domestically twice. She has a long blog post for their first adoption. Maybe reach out to Mindy. And they are in concact with one birth mom
I just keep thinking, when all is said and done you, Dan, and your child are going to have such a BEAUTIFUL life and an amazing story to tell. You are great people and will make amazing parents!
Thank you so much! I appreciate all of that 😊 I keep wondering how it’s all gunna play out! Life is crazy man!
Thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing your adoption process with us
Thank you!🤟🏻
My uncle has adopted two boys they were adopted at birth. And they have open adoption with there birth moms. It was nice for them to know why they were adopted but also my one cousin ended up with some health issues and them knowing the birth mom they were able to figure out what was wrong by his bio parents family health records.
Nikki, one is birthed from your womb, the other... from your heart, ie: adoption.
Omg that’s so sweet I can’t 😭
@@NikkiPhillippi Lisa Osteen has an organization called HOPE!! She and Cindy Cruise Ratcliff both adopted their twins from the State of Tennessee. It might be worth looking into. I know they are here in Texas. However, maybe this is in the US allover. It won't hurt to look into it. Best Wishes to you and Dan. May you soon have some the best memories starting sooner than you know it. My prayers are with you.
this is what my friend's adpoted sister says and it's the cutest thing. she is 4 now
a german blogger told her adopted chiled she came from her heart. the small girl asked her mother where baby's come from and where she came from because she is adopted... I cried when I heard it and I truly believe adopted children come from the heart of their (adopted) parents. It just destiny...
Oh man. I have so much to say but before I write a long comment or private message I wanted to say.....you are a beautiful soul, you will end up on the right path. Your child will find it's way to you, continue to have faith.
I was adopted and I am also a biological mother to a little girl I placed for adoption. I have so much to say but probably should do it privately.
Thank you so much! I appreciate that! Side note, I realized I am choosing the wrong words some times! “Placed up for adoption” is so much more appropriate! I can’t imagine what that takes. 💕
I hear ya girl. I was adopted too. I told her she could always message me if she had any questions.
NikkiPhillippi chose option is the best term! I'm a social worker !
Have you reached out to Angie from ThisGatheredNest? She's so lovely and has adopted international and domestic!
I had a feeling you guys were going to switch to adopting domestically hahah still super exciting I can’t wait! ❤️
Lol thanks dudeeee🤟🏻😘
We are a foster to adopt family. I would like to advocAte for all adoptions. Yes, some are messy ,but there are many children currently with in our system that need loving parents. Ours was fast , has allowed us to minister to a birth mother that was unAble to parent and desperately needs love and truth spoken to her. It was not my first choice,but we could not make a decision based on fear of what if... Best of luck.
I think what is so wonderful is that even if you aren’t adopting, these videos about your journey are applicable to all of us. Because it’s a journey about patiently waiting and listening to God. About how following what He asks sometimes isn’t simple but helps us grow. Which is so so beautiful, so thank you.
I want a church that supports drinking beer and singing hymns in a back yard.
C'mon over!! My kind of church! 😉😅💕
I was fostered to adopted by my aunt and uncle. My father had the only rights to me and the state removed me from his custody at the age of 4, I lived with my aunt and uncle until I was 7 and they felt called to adopt me in order to set up protection from my father, I was officially their child at 8 and during adoption my father signed his rights away. My birth certificate has my adopted parents name on it and when he tried to “claim” me (like I am lost luggage or something) he was met with the legal side of adoption and basically was not able to do anything. (This was in California btw -not sure if laws differ state to state)
My older bio brother (on my bio mother’s side) was adopted privately with closed records. My birth mother had no way of knowing who even adopted him, what his new name was, or anything. All she was told was that he was placed with a family, how many kids they had, and that they passed the requests she had made for her child’s home. He found her as an adult (a few years ago) after his mom passed away. (This was also in California and both happened in the 80s).
When it comes to open adoption, I would be worried about the bio parents getting involved and then disappearing and disappointing my child. I would never want my child to hurt. My parents told me that when I was old enough they would help me to find my bio mother if that’s what I wanted. I never felt the need or the want until I was in my 20s, but I always knew it was an option had I said the word. My mom and I have always spoken openly about being adopted and what she knew about my parents.
I cant wait until the day you have a beautiful little one running around your house! You will be an incredible mama Nikki no matter what way god puts that child into your hands! Big prays for your family
🙄
I am adopted myself and i never met ir heard about my bio parents,but to be honest in 25 years i never had the feeling to look for them or meet.They must had had their reason for It ,and i coudn't been happier with my adopted family!God bless your journey and keep going,one day your litlle one is going to come
Honestly she is going to be an amazing mom
Omg honestly I’m crossing my fingers and toes hahahha
I agree but why not youre own children? Did I miss something?
I was adopted in the US with an open adoption. I can tell you that not knowing your biological parents, no matter how loving and providing your adoptive parents are, is a hole in your heart. Although my adoption was open, I did not have consistent contact with my birth parents for large parts of my life. My biological parents both have schizophrenia and have been on and off of being homeless throughout their life. Even with an open adoption, and my bio parents being, as you put, "crazy," they have not and could not "just show up on your doorstep." Up until I was 18, my parents chose how involved they wanted my biological parents to be, and when I turned 18, I was able to choose what kid of relationship I wanted with my birth parents. Off and on growing up, I received gifts and cards from my bio parents on birthdays and Christmas. It always felt nice to have that connection and know that they loved me despite not being able to raise me. Because my bio parents are ill, I did have some strange conversations with them growing up and even heard some hurtful and confusing things come from them. Even then, I was able to deal with these things in my own way, knowing that they are ill. Looking back, I would never have wanted to take that contact away because of those instances. My bio father recently passed away very suddenly, but I was able to have a wonderful relationship with him the last two years of his life. Those two years I was able to talk with him filled my heart in a way that I really needed on a deep level. I want to reiterate, my adoptive parents are the best and love me and care for me so well. But that relationship with my biological Dad, knowing that he loved and admired me, being able to talk to him about characteristics we shared, was something that filled a hole in my heart. I feel that you still have a lot to learn about adoption, so I wanted to share my story with you. I hope it helps and best of luck on your journey.
I've haven't watched the whole video yet, but I think the fear of the person taking back the child after adoption is EXTREMELY rare. It can be a large legal nightmare to do so after the papers have been signed, and in some cases, impossible. Wishing you the best!
That’s what we’ve now learned! 🙌🏻
NikkiPhillippi mine tried to get me back when I was a year old. The judge back then was like “Hell No” ! 1977 too
My aunt is worried about that also. She said she’d kill them. Lol. She was only kidding but I would get feeling that way. These days ya just never know though.
This is all so interesting to watch and I’m sure it’s so helpful for people in similar situations! Please don’t let negative comments and those picking at your ‘language’ (sigh) or honesty stop you from sharing this experience with us!xxx
You shouldn't feel bad about not being open to a child with severe special needs. You are right that mothers that are pregnant aren't hoping for it, it just happens. I have a child with special needs and it's been such an unexpected rollercoaster.
Sometimes it just happens with adoption, too...😉 Never thought we'd go there, but here we are- exhausted and incredibly blessed. ❤
@@SixBlindKids That's true. It can happen either way. I agree exhausted and incredibly blessed!
@@HeatherMore ❤
Thanks for sharing the process with us. My partner and I really want to adopt and seeing your journey has been incredibly helpful.
RE: adopting a child with special needs. I'm glad you don't feel bad about specifically requesting a "typical" child. You absolutely should not. Typical and special needs children need homes, not just one or the other. Our oldest is 3.5. When she was 1.5 we had her sister. A few months later she was diagnosed with Autism. She is an absolute ray of sunshine to anyone who meets her. I would not have hoped for a child with extra needs but you can bet your ass I would choose her 50x over if given the chance. We are trying for number 3 and while I'm terrified of having another child who struggles, I know what a joy C is to our lives and will love the heck out of any child Mother Nature gives us. You will too. You do what is right for your family and don't you dare feel guilty.
8 kids later..2 typical..I am going to say ALL kids are special needs!! LOL! On a serious note, you just never do know sometimes. The diagnoses just keep coming, but these kids really are the air we breathe. Such a rewarding life! 😊❤
Nikki, I give you so much credit for how open and vulnerable you are on your platform. I never comment but just watching you today I couldn't help but to tell you how brave you are. ❤
Would you ever adopt siblings? Just curious. My parents adopted my second cousins. Their parents were not able to take care of them and everyone wanted to keep them in the family. At first we only had my little brother. He had two other sisters. And after a few months of having him my parents decided to take them as well. I’m excited to keep watching your journey. I love this whole series
Rebekah Heredia I think in a lot of states siblings up for adoption is the norm. For the most part in my state when you look at the state adoption board, it’s usually siblings ranging from 2-6 kids they want to keep together.
I love your open and honesty through this whole process. Wishing you both all the best!
You already know how excited I am for you guys!!! I am always in awe of your endless faith, my friend! I cannot wait to follow along this journey with you! I'm always a text (or voice memo) away! 💕
I’m excited to see how this journey unfolds for y’all! My husband and I are currently fostering but hope to adopt from the foster system one day when God presents us with the right opportunity. We’re just loving on our bonus kids for as long as we have them for now and are following the Lord’s leading.
You’re amazing Nikki! You have to do whatever is right for you and your husband and I don’t think you should have to justify any of your decisions 😊You will be an amazing mum! Xxxx
I love listening to your journey. I am an adoptee, adoptive mom, foster mom and previously worked as an adoption social worker here in TN for about 5 years before we adopted our daughter. It sounds like you have surrounded yourself with a wonderful community of support! If you have questions though, please feel free to message me!
Please educate yourself further because what you are describing is a fostering then adopting the foster child. That happens a lot but not when you are doing a straight adoption. You need to do more research
Usually, you are right, but not always. Yes, our system is foster to adopt, but almost always with the hope of reuniting a child with the birth family. Once parental rights are terminated, an adoption plan can be made (not ALWAYS with the same foster family, either) Our youngest child was placed voluntarily through the county by the birth family after we had been identified as not only the foster family, but also the permanent adoptive family. This was an exception that was made due to a specific disability and the county's relationship with our family after extensive counseling with the birth family. In 25 years of being involved in the adoption community, I am still learning. I do think we should educate ourselves prior to adopting, but it is a process. I certainly have said some ignorant things starting out myself. She will learn her way with compassion shown by those of us with experience. Every situation is a little different and considerations can be made for exceptions in regard to what is in the best interest of the child. ❤
I can't wait to see Gods plans for their family! ❤
Thank you! Me tooooo!🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
You can do this! :)
We have a 5 month old daughter (biological; she’s our rainbow baby after a previous loss), and have also been raising our great nieces (12 & 14) for the past two years. The night we went to court for them, I found out I was pregnant after having a previous loss. They are wonderful girls!
My advice to you is to strongly research Reactive Attachment Disorder. It is something rarely talked about in adoption and foster circles, but it is something that greatly impacts so many children, and their caretakers. We went in absolutely blind, and it would have been so helpful to at the very least have had someone mention RAD to us, what to expect potentially, resources and support groups that might help, and how we could try to practice attachment parenting to help bond with them. We are still getting the hang of things, but they are wonderful kids, and we love them so much! Be open to support groups through this process; it can really help!
If you wind up with a little one, baby wearing is such a wonderful tool to help deepen that connection. (You can even baby wear small toddlers!) If you adopt or foster an older child, please consider family counseling as a bonding tool- even the most easy adoptions or foster scenarios can still be traumatic, especially for the children, and knowing they have family to support them through it and answer questions honestly makes such a difference. Whatever your path, I wish you guys the best of luck; y’all are going to be incredible parents! :)
I agree wholeheartedly. Our adopted daughter came to us and we were told she had zero issues mentally or physically. Fast forward 3 months and she shatters our house window with her fists during a "fit" and she spiraled from there. Turned out it was known and a large reason why she had been passed from previous homes. I had to fight like hell to get therapy and meds and services she needed and now she is so so much better. Push to be fully informed before accepting the child for sure, for you and them!
My husband and I started working with Adoptions from the Heart about 18 months ago. We have been waiting since February to be matched with a birth family. The process does take time for private domestic adoption especially with paperwork, home study, clearances, updates, etc. but, we are so excited about our decision to adopt domestically and cannot wait to be matched with a newborn! It’s scary, without a doubt. I am sure it’s scary enough being a first time mom but adding in all the logistics and unknowns of an adoption and going through the process is overwhelming. Thankfully we have an amazing support system with our families and friends and my husband is THE best partner I could have asked for to be by my side through this journey. We have taken many classes through the agency and they offer a free online webinar about domestic adoption on their website. Good luck to you!!!!!!
I love that you can get back to your story so easily. Once I’m off the highway, I’m off. It’s hard to get back on! 😂
We just adopted domestically and our baby was born July of this year! We have a beautiful open adoption. It is the very best thing that has EVER happened to us! I know there is a lot of fear, but I can tell you the Lord took away every fear we had. And we are so blessed by it all!
Maybe it's not the whole west but I feel like in the west of America people would not be like "omg you're having a hard time? Come be with me at my house and let's talk." That is so magical! I love that so much. I wish everywhere was like that.
Dude it’s pretty common-ish in the south it seems!😊
@@NikkiPhillippi I love that so much. I want to do that for someone to try to make it a common thing everywhere! Haha
All I want to say is that you’ve inspired my husband and I to adopt. We’re only 25 so we’re years away from starting the process. Thank you for sharing your journey.
I love videos like this one, when you’re just chilling on the bed just talking.
This is so exciting, domestic adoption is the best! Giving the opportunity to someone that is so close to home is amazing. I wish this goes way better than the international issues that have come up. Praying for you. ❤️
have you considered journaling your experience, kind of like love letters to/ prayer for your future child? I think that it would make a great addition to a baby book one day.
Oh I am so excited! I’ve been contemplating my future and adoption is so strong in my head and I want to see more domestic adoption stories.
Adoption is always amazing, no matter where you adopt from. I'm wishing you guys the best of luck !! 💗✨💗 You'll be amazing parents! ❤️
Thank you so much 😊🤟🏻😘
So so excited to hear this! My siblings were adopted domestically. There are definitely risks with any adoption, but there are amazing kids here in our country that need love as much as those internationally do. You both will be amazing parents and a blessing to your future child. ☺️
Ahhh Nikki I’m so sorry you’re dealing with anxiety and panic attacks. I was there for three years. Lots of hard work, life changes and therapy .. I don’t get panic attacks anymore. Sending you all the love, you’ll get past it- it’s a journey.
I love that you're sharing this journey with us and also I LOVE that you and Dan allow God to guide you - it's super inspiring and such a positive way to live life.
My ex-boyfriend was adopted. His birth mom had him at 16 or 17 and she knew that she would not be able to raise him properly so she put him up for adoption. His adoptive parents still keep the communication between him and his birth family. My ex has 2 birth brothers and a birth sister but he doesn't have any siblings from his adoptive parents. I just always thought it was cool how they kept the communication going between him and his birth family!
I know you talk about what you’re being called to do. And I know the foster program is very hard, but I work with a lot of foster families. And have met many foster moms and I believe you would make an amazing foster mom. The foster program is very hard and emotional but it’s very rewarding for many
I can identify so much with your emotions, I am a first-time mom due in April and a lot of what you said rings true for me as well. The only real difference is you can choose to back out if you really don't feel ready. That being said there are totally days I feel like what did I get myself into and am I ready for this? I am also excited and anticipatory and can't wait to get to know this little person I am creating. Whomever this little soul is god perfectly timed them to come into our lives and I know he will do the same for you!
I was adopted and I love watching videos like these!! It is so amazing that there are people like you who want to adopt!!!
My heart feels like this is the most open and raw you've ever been made me emotional and really spoke to me I had a miscarriage in September of this year and since ive been called to wanting to adopt
I’m so sorry... thank you for sharing... I appreciate that all💕
& you shouldn’t feel bad for saying y’all aren’t looking for a child with special needs. Some people aren’t called to do that & that’s ok!
And some just don't know they are yet. 😉❤
We’re wishing you all the best on your adoption journey!!! We look forward to your updates!
Much love! ♥️
Thank you so much! I appreciate it!
I'm so sorry you had to go through so many obstacles! Just remember, God is there with you every step of the way!! He knows exactly what He is doing! ❤️ I'll be praying for wisdom and discernment in the things to come.
I always feel the need to say, when you adopt you are not saving anyone, especially domestically. They are way more parents wanting babies to adopt than their are babies to adopt. This is just the truth. Fostering is a whole different thing all together.
Nikki, I love this video! I was adopted an an infant through a domestic private adoption. I have known my entire life that I want to adopt. It’s always been in my heart. I am now a caseworker in my state and try to advocate for domestic adoption as much as I can because there are so many kids that need loving homes. Best of luck on your journey!!
That’s so cool! What a story! Thank you for sharing 😊💕 Thank you so much!
Oops I just said thank you so much twice hahaha but hey! Thanks! L
I wonder if your life being so public will make this any easier. Either someone looking for a family is a subscriber, or just because people can look you up and learn SO much about you- probably more than they get via looking through adoption books.
My younger cousin was adopted as his mother was really ill and unable to care for him and my aunt(his grandma) has such a beautiful relationship with the adopted family and her grandson. It’s really beautiful💜💜
I'm happy to hear that you are going to pursue domestic adoption! I feel as though the process is much more transparent than a lot of international adoptions. In some countries, parents sign away their rights as they are told their kid is going to North America or Europe to live with a family and get a better education, but they will come back to them at 17 or 18 - which obviously doesn't happen. I've also heard stories about mothers who do not have resources to care for their child, so they bring them to orphanages, where they know their kid will be fed and sheltered, but visit every day. Unfortunately, their child then gets adopted and taken out of the country. I've heard of death certificates being forged among some other really awful shady things with international adoption.
I have been very curious as to your thoughts in regards to the dark side of international adoption to that extent. I know you are an advocate against slavery and feel passionate in that regard, but I'm hoping you could comment or make a video discussing that as well?
I love all the adoption updates. xx
wallygator93 A friend of mine was adopted from an SOS Children's Village in South America long ago. She's been looking for her birth family ever since she was of age, but neither her adoptive parents nor anyone in South America would help her, even though it's clear they have information. Everyone acts super secretive about everything that occurred in the organization back then.
Her parents get very upset when she brings it up, they have hidden away all the documents from the adoption.
My friend believes that they might have "bought" her. Back in the day, foreign people came to the orphanages with a large donation, chose the child they wanted, and took it with them.
Whether this happened to her or not, there's something about her adoption that wasn't legal and that even her parents are trying to conceal.
Children are still being separated from their families through the lies of the orphanages. It must have been so common back in the day, even with those well known charity organizations, it's crazy that they've always gotten away spot free.
SixBlindKids I don't see why someone who hasn't been through this first hand should not talk about it? Don't you want people to educate themselves on the matter and perhaps even get involved in changing legislation in certain countries to provide resources to help families stay together and keep them from "baby recruiters"?
This is a completely separate topic from the international and domestic adoption we all know and support.
SixBlindKids Who else would you learn from if not the people who are personally dealing with and actively fighting the issue? Those are the only people raising awareness as far as I know.
I heard there's been considerable change in Haiti in recent years, no?
Conversations spread the word and make it reach the public.
What's shocking to me is that those big organizations have never faced consequences, with so many shady adoptions.. But my friend doesn't know anybody else this might have happened to, so she feels alone.
She did find out that she had a bio sister at the Children's Village; they were separated and her sister was adopted to a different country. She did meet bio relatives in South America but again, no one would talk.
I suggested flat out confronting her parents with the wildest theory.
@@maurapukiki I have deleted my comment as I accidentally posted it to the wrong person. I apologize for that as well as any backstory I may have missed. I had stumbled on this channel for the first time and joined the conversation about adoption as we have grown our family through adoption over 25 years. We have experiences that go beyond the typical in many aspects and I can relate first hand to your friends experience. I hope she DOES continue to share her story and get her answers and like you, I believe agencies and organizations should be held accountable for situations such as you describe. These are difficult situations that most prefer to keep private as the pain involved can be devestating to so many. I hope to be able to share what we have learned eventually, but there are other families involved. I hope you and your family have a blessed and happy Thanksgiving. ❤
SixBlindKids Thank you, happy Thanksgiving to you and yours! ❤️
There's really no need to apologize or delete your comment.
I hope the people that have been similarly affected can come together if they feel alone with their case, as my friend does. The decision is ultimately a deeply private one.
Since we aren't in touch with other adoptees and/or families, we appreciate every bit of advice, suggestions and little smithereens of similar experiences anyone might be able to share. We are grasping at straws at this point. You are the first person that can relate first hand to the story, however I completely understand if you don't want to talk more about it or don't wish to share details.
wowow, I love watching these videos and getting a taste of how adoption goes! I'm adopted myself domestically and I've known my birth mother my whole life, and it really is a beautiful thing I wouldn't have any other way! keep sharing your story and telling your truth; if this type of platform existed when my parents were adopting I'm sure it would've helped them so much, and I just hope it helps someone in a similar situation now! best of luck to you guys ❤️❤️❤️
My youngest brother is adopted through a domestic private adoption agency, and he is such a blessing in our lives.
Just wanted to clarify something regarding foster care/adoption through the foster system: once TPR (termination of parental rights) has been granted, often by a judge in foster situations but sometimes through birth parents signing away their rights, that child is no longer their child in the legal sense. If the child gets adopted by foster parents, the paperwork is exactly the same as what you will have through a private domestic adoption. The biological parents can’t come back years later and demand the child , as legally, you would have the full rights as if you had birthed the child yourself. While the child is still a foster child, before TPR, things are a whole lot more complicated. Future foster parent/adoptive mom here who has done years of research (and loves your adoption updates!)
Carolyn Sue yes to this comment!
Hi Carolyn. Thanks for your informative comment. Do you have any insight on how long the foster period usually is before the child becomes legally yours?
@@nimraha.5064 it depends a lot of the situation with the child's biological parent. I have heard of people taking under a year and others closer to five years.
Nimrah A. Kelsey is right. The time period can vary from 6 months to many many years. The main goal of foster care is reunification with their biological parent(s). If that’s not possible at all, they will terminate rights. The state tries to place children with kin then. Then, the foster parents who already have the kiddos have the option to adopt if suitable kin isn’t found.
There are also children who are legally freed for adoption, living with foster families but waiting for a forever family. They’re typically older kids and I think it’s a requirement that they live with you for 6 months before an adoption can occur to make sure it’s a good fit for you and the child.
@@Kayin2626 thank you so much for the information! Appreciate it. I hope to start down this road and info from people with some sort of first hand experience helps so much more than stories.
Phil and Alex’s UA-cam has so much information especially with open adoption and they are just the best you have to watch them!
I really applaud you for your transparency, this is YOUR adoption journey only you have to live and experience it so walk boldly in your calling and in your truth.
Looking at the world with different eyes. God is creating a beautiful story! So many life lesson in this video
I don’t want to adopt I’m 23 and your message is inspiring
The fact that you two have love that you want to give a child - is a beautiful thing. I hope your mommy & daddy dreams (of the other than fur variety - which you're great at) come true soon and what a lucky little lamb he or she will be to be WANTED!
Hugs, Love & Blessings to you All Nikki ❤️
I am so excited for you! I don't kniw if I've ever commented before, but when you first started talking about adoption, I felt that domestic would be better for you. I don't know why. But I'm happy that God has led you in that direction and I wish you the best!
I work with many special needs kiddos (NICU/PICU nurse, actually worked at Vanderbilt a few years ago!) And taking one knowingly into your home is a massive commitment. There is nothing wrong with knowing your limitations. 💕
You’re going to be such an amazing mom ❤️ you have the most beautiful soul, and I truly hope everything turns out well for you. Whoever ends up as a part of your family will be so incredibly lucky
There are a lot of critical comments😔 and a distinct majority are adoptees.
You guys are doing great! It’s all part of the leap of faith you take when you decide to adopt! We are adopting from the Philippines! 🇺🇸🇵🇭
I wish you all the best, but encourage you to think about the way you're speaking about a HUMAN - "getting" a child seems crass? The child is not being "given up" - you are not better than the mother who grew and birthed this child and that should not be the way you're speaking of it
Bree I think it’s clear, from watching all of her videos on the subject, that she doesn’t mean it in the way you’ve taken it.
@@xojustmelxo I appreciate your opinion - however I have watched all the videos, and disagree (as do the rest of the comment section if you take a took at those).
Happy you guys are looking into domestic adoption!! I’m a NICU nurse and I see a lot of little ones with really sad and unfortunate social situations. I would be happy to see any of my patients go home with parents like you guys :)
I love how open and honest you are with is this process thank you so much it means a lot
Totally was thinking the same thing you said toward the end.... it is going to be so cool to look back and see all of these obstacles were just God putting you right where you need to be at the right time. 💙 So excites to see your journey continue! Always praying for you! 💙💙💙
I am praying for you and your path to parenthood! I just wanted to send a word of caution your way... please be careful with domestic adoption... if you do it, get a REALLY REALLY good lawyer!!! We had our son for 9 months and he was taken away... and the courts were more than happy to give him back. It is a TERRIFYING, HEARTBREAKING situation.
God bless you both🙌 Its amazing how he put this on your heart to adopt and give an orphan a chance for a happy life... You guys are going to love being parents. 💕
it’s been snowing all afternoon here in New York so this is the perfect way to wind down after an afternoon running around in the snow 🙌🏻❄️
My friends fostered to adopt. The great thing about that is it is free and you don’t have to pay tons of money. The downsides are until your adoption in final after you have fostered them for a little while they can be taken back.
Speaking as a birth mother that has an open adoption, I would 1 million percent recommend the agency ABBA adoption out of Arkansas. They are wonderful and definitely worth looking into if you’re interested ☺️ they have a Facebook and I believe that their videos are on UA-cam as well.
I love following your journey! I commented awhile ago on one of your earlier videos when you all were just starting this process and briefly told you my story. As a reminder I was adopted from China through Holt but my boyfriend of 4+ years is also adopted from the US in an open adoption. He personally chooses not to see his biological family as much but his sister who is in the same situation sees her mother and half sister quite frequently! And I love that even though international didn't work out you guys are still moving forward with the adoption process. There are a ton of children who need adopted both internationally and in the United States. ❤️
Wow Nikki, thank you for sharing this part of your life because many would prefer to keep this part of their life more private. One thing i will say is that when you started sharing your adoption process with us, i wasnt truly intrigued to watch it because ive always found adoption to be very confusing and i didnt quite understand it. But after watching every video of your process up until now , i am so thankful that i kept watching these videos because it has opened my eyes and taught me so much about what adoption really is and i find it cool how i get to learn about this process while you learn as well! I am still young to think about kids but recently i was diagnosed with PCOS and my gynecologist said it often leads to infertility, so he advised me to think of other options if I potentially wanted to start a family one day and when I received that news it was hard and it hit me like a truck because ive always imagined myself carrying my own baby but now by the help of your story it has helped me to not be so afraid of this beautiful potential option for me and for that i am so thankful to you 🧡 I wish you the best in this journey and its always in Gods hands :)
You and Dan are going to be wonderful parents and whoever ends up in your family will be so loved!
I know some hardships have been happening lately, and I know in my heart everything will all work out! On a side note; you look absolutely radiant!
When I saw this video I thought well why should I watch I don’t even want children, but something told me to click.
And when you talked about god telling you what to do it clicked.
I’m chronic ill (lupus, migraine etc) and have recently been diagnosed with a prolactinoma and trying medication (where the side effects are super bad) for the last week I’ve gotten new issues, hard to breath, heart palpitations and chest pains. And i gotten stuck with the words when is it enough? This video reminded me that god doesn’t give you more than you can handle and he has a plan. All I can do is push forward, making sure that I get the help I need and listen to what he says and it will be alright! Thank you for reminding me!
I'm so excited to see what God has planned for your family, Nikki. I'm praying all of this works out for the best. You are going to be a great Mama.
Something that my pastor's wife did when they adopted was they created an email account just for them and the biological mother. Once a month; she will send pictures and updates to the mother, to let her know how the child is doing, what the child looks like, etc. They also do this so that the child can contact the mother when they are older or when they become curious about who their biological mother is.
I too am wanting to adopt so seeing your journey through all of this is so helpful! Thank you so much for sharing! I hope this helps you!
Love you a bunch!
towards the end of this video when you started a thought calmy with "I know that God is weaving ..." I had chills and tears. Becuase that is so it, love. You will look back on all these steps. All these pathways, doors closed doors opened. And it will all tell this beautiful story. As it should be. You will have the family you were meant to have. And i mean that statement in the deepest way. It's all so amazing and I can't wait to see the love and beginning of the new chapter in your life as parents