AuDHDer here: Thank you for this. Emothional Flooding has been one of the most debilitating parts of - and is the reason why I realised it is - my disability. This shit **sucks**. It's so scary to realise that you literally *cannot* think past the feelings; and it's been a friggin' *journey* to try and figure out ways to cope.
Seriously! It really makes me feel like such a failure. Especially as a parent! It makes me so scared for the type of example I am setting for my child. 😢 I do the best I can, but my adhd is completely untreated because I have a history of substance abuse and no doc trusts me. Nevermind that I have had clean drug tests every single month for nearly a decade....but I'm on suboxone so no one will prescribe me any controlled meds. Yeah, I feel ya...coping is very difficult.
@@caseyw.6550that’s so frustrating! Especially because we KNOW that people with undiagnosed/untreated AuDHD tend to self medicate in a lot of destructive ways. So basically they’re denying you treatment because you did the EXACT THING PEOPLE WHO NEED TREATMENT OFTEN DO
@abbywolf9701 EXACTLY. It's such a mess. My suboxone doc, who understands this stuff, works for a clinic where all she can prescribe is suboxone. Any other doctor I've seen isn't allowed to prescribe suboxone and so they are really uneducated on the matter. It's obvious they are scared of getting in trouble for prescribing me any control medications. And then there's the mess of even finding doctors who will take my insurance. The system is so dysfunctional. Thank you for understanding. I really appreciate having a space to vent. ❤️
@@aylabeers3274 omg fr. I gotta work on that because I gotta cope on my own soon, but right now I'm barely riding the current 😔 Whenever my husband doesn't have the capacity to talk about something that's specifically upsetting me, like if I ask if I can talk and he says not then, I have to give him some space to declutter his own mind first (he has ADHD, I'm AuDHD) so we present differently. But a lot of times my rational mind goes out the window & when he asks for a timeout, the ✨rejection sensitivity✨ kicks in. I think it comes off to some people as codependent or that I have BPD, but I don't. I just have really, really strong emotions at times and if I'm not stable enough to realize my behavior right away, I can act entitled to his attention, forget to empathy for his side, or get mad at him by emotionally projecting my insecurities and being loud about it... And I feel rejected? I obviously know how it works. So why can't I stop it? Identify it sooner? I feel like a jerk!! But the RS is so strong and hard to control. Idk how I'm gonna do this but I have to...Alone
I used to be great at masking my emotions and dealing with them in private, but ever since my car accident I have these uncontrollable meltdowns in front of people. It’s humiliating and has caused some of my family members to call me toxic. Emotional dysregulation is so frustrating and isolating. Thank you for discussing this topic. 💜
Quite frankly it's toxic we're all expected to be happy little robots in front of others, keeping those nasty emotions to yourself. It pushes people to ignore emotions until they collapse
🫂💜 as a person who has also been in accidents (multiple) I can attest to this - brain trauma from the whiplash or the jarring or the fear trauma of the accident can take a long time to recover from. Pink Concussions is an organization that studies specifically females with concussions. People with female hormones take longer to recover. Please be kind to yourself as much as you can.
@@439801RS I feel this so hard. Just lost a friend over this - they wanted me to stop "talking about deep stuff" when they were "just trying to have a good conversation and good company." The thing is, they CONSTANTLY did EXACTLY THAT, I was letting them do it, and I wouldn't have asked them to warn me because I KNOW that this shit doesn't have warnings. It just explodes out. "Let me know if this is a good time" Bish it is not a good time, and won't be a good time for a long time. I'm not walking on eggshells between my emotional dysregulation and someone else's emotional dysregulation when they don't do me the same "courtesy!" Edit: I also mildly asked them to avoid some of the extra meltdown-triggering topics, but those topics meant a lot to them so I held back a lot of my discomfort. I just blamed myself and on my neurodivergence, but now I see that I was being walked all over and used :(
this is one of the hardest parts for me. My way of getting the brain wiggles out (I call them that because it makes me feel better about it) is either art, metal music, as well as a mental check of 'did I eat, drink, or sleep today?" I've also given the feeling almost like a persona as well. One of the hardest things for me was recognizing that the intrusive thoughts are not a reflection of my desire. By calling it Brian it's like "goddammit Brian again? Really? If I eat a snack will you go back to sitting in your corner?" Brian is just brain with a typo. He's still brain but just looks a little different.
That's funny because I call it feeling squiggly sometimes when there are feelings and you don't have an outlet, because I writhe a little in frustration. So, I squiggle. It's sort of similar.
i love the idea of personifying your intrusive thoughts so you don’t identify it as a dark part of yourself i.e. what people like to call “what you’re really thinking”. that is incredibly damaging and has been a source of shame and guilt for me for years. i think ill start calling mine Brian as well, thank you so much for sharing your experiences
I never knew this was a thing. I've struggled for years with this never knowing why I cry hysterically over a casserole or go into a rage because I cannot find a shoe. Thank you. Just knowing that I am not alone is so helpful.
Flying into an uncontrolled rage over some tiny thing, that in my mind is the straw breaking the camel's back, has been so embarrassing. It's very comforting to know that I'm not just some weirdo.
Something I found comforting is you're not seeing me go from 0 to 100. I've been desperately trying to hold it all together so it's actually going from 99 to 100.
Lost wallet, shoe, sunglasses rage is SO real and SO frustrating, and for me I get stuck in being embarrassed I get so upset over it at all. Usually this happens when I’m already running late (ding ding biggest shame trigger!)
So i struggle with 54321. I really like the 3-3-3 strategy: Identify three things you see Identify three things you hear Move three parts of your body Repeat if needed 😊
@@dugongsdoitbetter you might also try, if you can, walking to restroom and splashing cold water on your face. I have to do this if the 333 method isn't helping enough...like if I'm on the verge of a full blown panic attack. Also, slow deep breaths!
Thank you so much for that! I struggle with remembering which sense is which number and it's hard to find smells and tastes sometimes and I end up in my head trying to remember or figure out what I can taste, lol. That's gonna be helpful!
I just had a meeting last week with my boss about my "disproportionate emotional outbursts" especially with a particular coworker who keeps triggering my flooding. I've always responded to certain types of rejection/criticism with uncontrollable crying and I've been reprimanded and shamed for the flooding all my life. I never thought it could be part of my suspected ADHD. The last time I tried discussing whether I have ADHD with a therapist, she pointed out the overlap in symptoms with PTSD and said we should just focus on that.
I finally got diagnosed this year (at 60). Also CPTSD therapy for several years. It has been so healing. It was affirming to get the actual diagnosis AND you can use it to ask for accommodations in the workplace - once you figure out what you need. I’d say this is an area that needs accommodations- even if that is only understanding from your boss.
Wow this is invaluable. I used to describe it as if I was being hit in the face with a fire-hose and being asked to figure out what flavour the water is.
This is so timely for me. I tend to bury my feelings until I can't. I have been burying a LOT lately, and a couple of weeks ago, the dam broke, and I have been underwater since.
Regarding physical outlets, I have very recently (out of sheer desperation to deal with overwhelming emotions) started to put a cold wet washcloth on my face. It's wild how much it helps. It's so simple that I never really expected it to work. Just sharing in hopes it may help any of you! Much love!
I like to sit under the running shower with a washcloth on my face. It's like a sensory deprivation kind of thing for me, blocking out everything else.
The setting really put you in a wonderland mood, particularly with the objects and pictures provided during the experience. It was my first time taking a high dose and that day changed how I see time and dimensions.
I've started microdosing mushrooms in place of my prescriptions i feel like ive become a better person... best decision ive ever made. I wish it was more accessible to those that need.
Omg... I've been doing this, I've been singing when I'm stuck in real deep sadness I couldn't get out of. Ive found singing my feelings helped me come back to myself. Thank you
Singing/listening to music has always been a way I've coped with my emotions/feelings/various mental illnesses. Music is the best therapy! And actual therapy too! I do both! :)
My husband and I both have ADHD and something that was really important for me to make sure to accept and validate that meltdowns will happen more often in our house and the goal is only to make sure no one hurts themselves or anyone else. Everything is just a reaction. We just gotta avoid harm or damage because I have made a lot of harm to myself and damage to property personally, and I will say it's embarrassing after the comedown having to clean up the mess because I wasn't thinking clearly and made bad choices out of panic... ADHD feels like it's a parasite sometimes 🤢 This isn't living
I had so much self loathing prior to my diagnosis and treatment. Now I understand why I am the way I am. im so much kinder to myself now. I LOATHE driving! I've never been in an accident, but I'm a fast driver and hate everyone on the road. EVERYONE. 🤣
I loathe driving for the opposite reasons lol. For me it’s anxiety inducing, I’m a slow driver, and I’m overly cautious with every surrounding driver. It’s funny how people can differ.
And then we combine it with the struggle of emotional regulation when you have autism too. 2 of my boys and I have the combination and it can be so hard to experience it and the guilt associated with it after it passes. My youngest is more of an internalizer (he only has autism thankfully) and seeing him sit down and just silently ball. That shatters my heart every time. I hope that I can help them all better.
@@LosAngelesLaura Excellent point. I am learning from following content in cPTSD how big a part of it is that I never learned how to self soothe as a child or was discouraged from "indulging" in soothing behaviors. As a child you learn to self soothe by having the adults around you model it or co-soothe with you to teach you. My parents were really disregulated themselves so despite some effort on my mom's part at least they weren't able to effectively teach me (I suspect my whole family, including parents and grandparents, are Au/DHD.) I was raised in a culture that used fear and authority to motivate and distrusted pleasure and inner desire. So I internalized that and basically coped with my undiagnosed mental needs by just being really harsh with myself and really anxious about everything falling apart if I didn't stay "disciplined." One of the first mindfulness meditations I found that helped open things up for me talked about how there's no kindness without discipline and no discipline without kindness. Now I'm trying to learn to do the things I need to do in order to be kind to myself and not out of cruelty/guilt. Basically self love and self validation!
I feel ya. 🫶🏻 I've been pretty isolated for the past couple years. I'm a late dx'd AuDHDer. I recently searched online for local ND adult connection groups and was happy to find one that met virtually which suits my needs well. We haven't talked about emotional flooding, but having folks to chat with whose nervous systems work in similar enough ways has been immensely comforting. And some of us have continued texting after the facilitated sessions ended which has been nice. There are folks who will want to be your safe people. When I'm less hopeful, I find a lot of comfort in the Tom Rosenthal song Worry Not. It's really lovely.
I lost my mom to unaliving in June 2019, your energy and spirit reminds me of her so much. I really appreciate your pitch and tone of voice, its relaxing but also serious. Your vibes are very comforting and I'm glad YT recommended me your channel again. +1 subscriber :)
I'm late diagnosed autistic and very much get emotional flooding too. Agree that it can be very debilitating and takes a lot out of you along with how long it takes to get back to base level.
I was lucky to be in therapy from a very young age, so im able to pull coping mechanisms out before i get to a full meltdown. I also have been getting increasingly better at enforcing boundaries for what i can/cant handle. So when i feel myself flooding, i have ways to cut it off early, and to inform others "i cant handle this right now". but again, thats 8-10 years of therapy since i was single digits. And im still having to continuously apply the lessons and do work. its only been the past few years where ive reall gotten to a 'safe' point with my regulation around other people.
I had used a lot of these techniques and still struggled with emotional flooding, especially in high stress moments at work. The thing I've found most helpful for me is consistently taking my ADHD meds - definitely not accessible for everyone but would recommend if medication is something you're open to
Thank you for this, Mickey. I'm neurotypical but foster parenting a kid who was just diagnosed with ADHD. This is so helpful for me to understand a bit more about what she might be experiencing and how to help her.
God bless you for caring about her enough to learn more about her mental state. I was a foster and the women I was with didn’t care this much. They compared me to their own children and belittled me when all I needed was support. Love on her and she will bloom like a flower 🌹 finally being watered properly!
It would be really helpful for me to have the "bullet points" listed out somewhere, either in the description or a pinned comment. So I'm going to re-watch and try to do that here. Emotional flooding: intense emotions triggering a melt down that is NOT a moral failing but just how the neurodivergent brains works. 1. Try to become more aware and grounded in our bodies. Look for signs and triggers. Do body scans. Use a therapist and journaling to help you notice these warning signs so we can figure out how to regulate ourselves. 2. Strategy to help: have a physical outlet. Exercise, singing loudly or humming, temperature changes, comfort objects, drinking water, eating something we enjoy, find grounding techniques that work for us. Practice grounding techniques when you don't need them so when you do need them, you can help yourself. REMEMBER: Emotions are a messenger, trying to remind you of a part of you that needs care or compassion. 3. Create a safe space to give yourself a time-out. Sensory caves are a built-in help if you can prepare it ahead of time so you can just go there when you need to get grounded/reduce sensory input. It must be a safe place for you to let the emotions run their course. Adjust our environment to allow ourselves a safe and comfortable place to feel our feelings and get ourselves regulated. It's okay that our environment looks different because our brains work differently. Create a toolkit: Positive affirmations, enjoyable music, snacks, fidget toys, weighted blanket, etc. 4. Create an understanding between us and our safe people. Really consider how they can support you when your emotions need to run their course. Find ways to communicate ahead of a meltdown, verbal and nonverbal cues, that can clue in our safe people on how to help us. Being properly supported actually helps us process through the emotional flooding/meltdown. 5. Don't be afraid to ask for support!! When our brain is emotionally flooded, we aren't operating from a place where we can function like normal. It's not a moral failing, it's recognizing when we need support. It's okay to need support!! 6. Set boundaries around our capacity. Hyper-focusing is sometimes necessary, but for our own physical health we shouldn't be doing it all the time. When we aren't sleeping enough, hydrating enough, nourishing our body with healthy food, all of that can push us into emotional flooding more often. So consider how we can accept and have boundaries for ourselves that add value to our lives while caring for ourselves and our loved ones. I hope I got it all and understood it. I hope that can help other neurodivergent folks.
Did thanks, i turned it off at the ad for vibratory as had it on speaker omg didn't expect that. Sitting quietly trying to read comments and not watching video now.haha
Could not have seen this at a more apt time. With the way everything is going lately, I'm getting emotionally flooded more often, and now I actually have the language and understanding to start doing something about it. From the bottom of my heart Mickey, thank you.
ADHDer here. Why have I not been told about this? 😮😮😮 like I have been noticing it but did not know it was an ADHD thing nor where it came from. My anger is often really intense, which leads me to avoid the emotion at all cost as I get concerned I might lash out at people (I don’t, at least not since I was a child). I have carried so much guilt about it cause i thought it made me a bad and/or unsafe person
@@BlakeLemonPants SAME! I have always wondered why I have such intense emotions. I have bursts of extreme excitement (over literally nothing) and also intense anger. I never knew what was "wrong" with me. It makes SO much sense that it's a symptom of my adhd. I probably could have gotten a diagnosis MUCH sooner if this had been acknowledged.
Exercise has helped me in the past with the intense anger. Otherwise I have outbursts and I tend to take it out on inanimate objects. God help anyone who gets in my way. It's not an enjoyable way to go through life. You're not a bad person, you just experience emotions more intensely than the average person. I don't know about you, but nearly everyone I've ever been friends with have said "I thought you were a b*tch at first, but then I got to know you."
ADHD, emotionally flooded person here! I am going through some stuff (dad has Alzheimer’s, my siblings are in denial, they have been unreliable, and disrespectful to me when I ask for help) and I lost my cool with them last week. We have a family mtg coming up & I am just anticipating losing my cool again, and my body is all kinds of effed up (stomach issues, my brain is constantly arguing with them, I can’t sleep, my body is stiff, etc) and I’ve noticed I keep going back to a stupid game on my phone to help calm my brain. Now I’m in a cycle where I just can’t stop playing this mindless game to escape my anxiety and I know it’s not healthy. I needed this video today more than ever 😭😭😭😭
🫂🫂🫂 you are in a really hard place! I recently read an article about a study that found that SOME games are actually soothing to our nervous systems and even help us to wind down. So your game may be legit helping you. (Btw been there with the parents, I’m so sorry. It is really hard especially when some of the sibs don’t want to admit it’s happening).
I listened to this as I cried all the way home from another seemingly useless neurology appointment 💔 I needed this so bad. Love y’all sm, let’s take care of ourselves today❤❤❤❤
My dad (psychologist and fellow ADHD) has shared with me something that has helped him and some of his clients with me in relation to what you’re talking about at 5:09, that he dubbed “4 corners”. (Not making medical advice here, just sharing as someone who has used it on my own anxiety, and inattentive ADHD). It’s basically when you’re in a decent space, put yourself in a few different memories and work on feeling them in your body, from that moment (not like from now), being from a joyful memory, sad memory and really intense moments (for those with trauma, my dad says to not pick triggering memories, but something different). Then name the most profound feeling, to yourself. Do them one at a time, and sit with it. Do it frequently enough in a good place, then as you start to have issues where you can think about the better parts of what you experienced in the “4 corners” draw to that as “help” in a way, an anchor, for something that may be a current issue. It sounds wonky, but at least for anecdotes, it’s helped me with my anxiety
After 30 years of unhelpful therapy, I finally got appropriate diagnoses. In the 4 years since then, I have gotten SO much better at noticing the warning signs. In the past 3 months, (with the help of certain chemicals) I have even managed to create some space between noticing the warning signs and demonstrating multiple external nonverbals indicating the emotions simultaneously. In the past two weeks, I have managed a couple times to create that space WITHOUT the aforementioned chemicals, and am certain that, with practice, I can get to the point where I can do this consistently without chemical supports. But my friend (also autistic but not ADHD), whose trauma trigger is emotionality in females, and who insists on POKING and PROBING about emotions and their causes in pretty much every conversation, has, for some reason, decided that this is the time to set boundaries and insist that I not be around them until I can basically engage in conversations without any perceptible emotional nonverbal signals. This would be reasonable if that meant not swearing or screaming, and if leaving conversations and asking them to slow down and give me time to regulate and respond WITHOUT them shooting rapid-fire questions and cues at me. But they pick up on the slightest tension in my voice or body, so they notice only a second or two after I do, and before I am able to access the scripts I have prepared to try to remove myself from the situation. And now, they have decided that this means that I am not "professional" enough for the nonprofit we were going to start together. So I have lost my friend and my career path at the same time, right at the time that I was finally seeing some improvement. They keep saying it's okay to be where I am and that if I want to, I can develop better emotional regulation skills... But they are SO sensitive, I don't think I will ever be able to develop emotional regulation skills to the level that they will accept, because the emotions just hit so fast and so strong. To me, that means it is NOT okay for me to be where I am. My emotional regulation skills are now at a point where, even under stress, they are not interfering with any other part of my life. It is literally just this ONE friend who is triggering the floods on a regular basis, because they can't seem to curb their curiosity. I kind of feel like, if they get to poke at my emotions, then I should get to let those emotions show for 3-30 seconds, take a few deep breaths, then return to what we were discussing before they poked. But no. They poke. My voice gets a little strained. They ask if I am triggered. I say yes. And then they insist on steering me through a whole bunch of processing steps that I have been able to do for myself for years, refusing to talk about anything else, and resisting when I say I think the best course of action is for both of us to get a good night's sleep and try again in the morning, or when I flat out tell them to stop, to pause, to give me time. I know that the issue is that they are triggered by signs of emotion, but they are also really big on explaining that, while it's often kind for people to try to avoid your triggers, you -- the person who is triggered-- is ultimately responsible for healing those trauma networks. By insisting that we deal with MY emotions, by cuing me to process MY trauma responses (mostly to frustration and confusion) instead of taking responsibility for their own reactions to my emotions, I really feel like they are holding me responsible for their trauma responses instead of taking responsibility for it themselves. I love my friend and miss them so much. I have already demonstrated that I am 100% willing to do absolutely everything I can to reduce the amount of triggering behavior, even if it means regularly using chemicals that I managed to go 46 years without using at all. But it is not good enough for them... and then they tell me that it is just paranoia when I tell them that "until your emotional regulation skills mean you don't show emotions externally" means "forever." Anyway, I don't know what the point of this is. Clearly I needed to process this a bit more, so I hope it's okay that I did that here. Oh, and they keep telling me I can process with my therapist... yeah... they have a therapist come to their apartment for 90 minutes every single week. I have to go to my therapist or deal with the slightly less effective virtual sessions, and I get an hour with her on average once per month. Can you process this with another friend is a reasonable question. Process this with your therapist is not a reasonable command. And neither is helpful if you won't talk to me until it has been processed. I am so sad, and so angry, and so sad.
I’m so sorry. For what it’s worth, (from a stranger on the internet) that doesn’t sound like a friendship that is working for you. It’s okay to leave that person behind. I hope you can find a better equilibrium that works for you.
"Rejection is protection" --BurbNBougie I can see you are mourning the loss of this friend, and rejection never feels good, but it sounds like this person really wasn't realistically wanting to be with you as you are. I've mourned the ending of relationships that really weren't good for me in the first place, friendships take a lot of investment and it's hard to lose all that, everything you liked about them, and the plans you had together. But it really sounds to me that they have some issues and they preferred to focus on your issues instead.
This person is refusing to respect your boundaries and needs while insisting you respect theirs. That's extremely hypocritical of them and a toxic attitude in a friendship. As much as it hurts to lose them, you're truly better off without them. Expecting people never to emote is a completely unrealistic expectation and unfair to demand.
I have ptsd & my partner had adhd. I have issues when he snaps even though it isn't directed at me. This honestly helped me understand him a little better.
As a late-identified AuDHD AFAB person, I think emotional flooding was one of the primary reasons I was misdiagnosed with BPD for years. Alexithymia certainly doesn't help, as oftentimes I'm blindsided by the overwhelming emotions, but now I'm aware that's at play, I'm getting better at noticing how I'm feeling before I get flooded.
I think it is the same for me. Doesn't help that I didn't realise that I had sensory issues until after my autism diagnosis. This meant that when I was saying what was going on I was usually saying that someone said something really stupid and I can't deal.
Shit. I self-diagnosed possible BPD because I have serious and intense mood swings and what felt like hypomanias ("strange moods" that were weird and obsessive and sometimes positive, sometimes negative,) but hey, maybe it's this. I don't know. Therapist and I are looking into it.
Idk if I’m neurodivergent (I feel like I am but never diagnosed, even though my pediatrician wanted me to be evaluated as a child), anyway I feel like this explains why something so tiny can send me into a fit of rage, or have me depressed af (on top of my MDD). This is incredibly helpful because I have found myself saying “I feel like I can’t control it”
I found for it it was helpful to realise when I’m suppressing emotions because I’ve been taught that they are inappropriate or too much for the situation. I’m soooo used to having emotions come up but then my first automatic thought is that it is inappropriate and no one else is having this emotional reaction to this situation. So I carry on with my mind and emotions screaming at me. Only sometimes do the emotions overcome my ability to suppress them.
Thank you so much for this! This really helped me release a lot of shame about the times I’ve been flooded because I didn’t even know that was what was happening. So thank you a million times!
Thank you SO much for this. I have a serious, serious issue with driving exactly as you expressed your experience to be. That in turn makes me a HORRID person on the road and I’m so sick of myself for that. I feel so overstimulated and frustrated that I almost mentally “check out” when I’m on the road and I have to drive an hour and a half total each day for work. It’s almost like I’m just completely at the mercy of my impulses when I’m behind the wheel. I’ve resulted to trying to take longer ways home that are one road, just like removing myself from the freeways for a second, or not driving at all but I know there has to be more I can do to help myself there. I also have a major issue with feeling frustrated and pushing that feeling onto others or reacting towards loved ones in a frustrated manner and I have been really trying to regulate that. I’m excited to get some tips but I just felt so HEARD in the beginning and it already made me feel a bit better.
Legit, i thought this was a symptom of Cptsd and I've done so much DBT work to get through it. Im proud of the work I've done BUUUUT i now have a new trigger that is a co worker. It's so hard. I get so overwhelmingly angry and upset with how she speaks to me and i feel this all over again. I'm going to try some of these extra methods and im hoping they help. Thank you
I love you mickey you always make me laugh. "Fugit pitty" made me giggle. 🤣 I just love your presence and it makes talking about harder topics like this more enjoyable! I'm a long time listener of the show and i'm so grateful for you!
Thanks for posting this! You worded the part about not wanting someone to observe you in your mess, perfectly. I never thought about asking for space in those moments. Sometimes we all need someone to point out the obvious 😊😊❤ thank you!
this needs to be discussed particularly in the work place. I know from experience that meltdowns (emotional overload) is seen as a failing in your professional life and like you can't control yourself, not that the ND person is being overwhelmed and perhaps the work environment or interaction with the ND needs to be adjusted.
Every time Mickey makes a video about ADHD symptoms, I learn something new about what I've been dealing with and how to better regulate when things do happen. Thank you so much for all the work you put into this channel. I've seen measurable growth since I started putting these tips into practice and so have the people closest to me. Appreciated doesn't begin to cover it 💜
This has been extremely difficult for me lately. I’m currently homeless and while I’m lucky to have an RV and not be completely outside-I have zero space to decompress. Going for a walk means dealing with the less safe unhoused people and their aggressive dogs. Going for a drive is emotionally exhausting because I have to leave my RV parked and hope nobody breaks into it. I completely understand why people do hard dr*gs just to mentally escape this. I’ve been overeating and gained 40 lbs in the last six months. I’m so stressed and crying all the time. There’s no housing for homeless families (I have a minor child) but there’s housing for adults without kids. Make it make sense. Sorry for the rant. It’s just been so hard
Also, have you made a video about the connection between ADHD (neuro-divergence) and addiction? If not, I would really love to have tools tackling that
I had no idea this was an adhd symptom! I'm diagnosed with adhd but also bipolar 1, ptsd and GAD and I get emotional flooding but always assumed it was one of the other 3 (I can never tell where half of my symptoms are coming from tbh, in a weird way it's nice being able to say after a flashback that I know exactly why it happened) instead of a result of adhd. And maybe for me it's a combination, but this makes a lot of sense. I usually listen to music really loudly when this happens, and when I can't do that for whatever reason I "play" a song I'm really familiar with in my head as loud as I can. It's not the same as actually hearing it but I've gotten to a point where it can kind of override my emotion to a similar degree, basically replacing the emotion that's flooding my brain and body with music instead. It can have more of a dissociative effect than a grounding effect when I'm REALLY flooded but it calms me down, for me that's the goal.
I feel like I have to say this, but you truly are one of the best therapists out there that can really see things from different perspectives and explain things in a way that makes ppl really grasp what they need to do and why they are they way they are. It can be really hard when you feel so different from everybody and like everyone has some secret ability to regulate their emotions and deal with hardships that you haven’t been let in on and have no idea where to begin. You make it very easy to look inward through a window instead of re-experiencing the trauma every time you try to confront it.
I'm only 7 mins in and I feel like you're speaking directly to me. For me it's anger and it was never an issue for me until I had kids 😬 Don't worry, were all fine, I just yell way more than I'd like to and I want to make it stop. Thank you for making this!
>.> Emotional flooding. Not a word I had ever heard, but so spot on. The most dramatic form it tends to take is when I'm already frazzled and technology doesn't work as intended - especially with video games. It's a good thing that controllers are pretty robust because I've attempted to strangle mine more than a few times. 😅
I've been feeling this lately when practicing the piano, and especially when I continue to make the same mistakes while practicing. I just get so filled with rage so suddenly. I think it's because I *know* I'm capable of playing better than I currently am, and what I'm practicing should be "easy," and yet I keep making the same mistakes, which keep getting ingrained into my muscle memory. But because I'm only two months into practicing after not having any kind of lessons for 3 years, I'm having to relearn everything and get back to where I used to be, and continually messing up is so frustrating
I've never felt more seen while watching a UA-cam video 😢. I'm so GLAD you created this video. I recently started going to therapy. A lot of my symptoms match with ADHD. I've experienced emotional flooding and often feel emotional exhaustion. Thank you again for the video 😊
I haven't watched the whole video yet, I just needed to address the mannerism thing. For me personally your energy, and comedic timing, and story telling are masterful and I love your delivery so much. Thank you for being yourself and bringing your voice into this conversation. It's horrible what people will say online. I support you ❤!
16:00 - I feel this so much. I've been going through it recently, and when I've sought support from others the most helpful has been the blunt, no holds barred kind of conversations. Some of my loved ones have been very careful with their wording, and I really appreciate the sentiment and care they display, but somehow that's been much harder to handle. I can't quite put my finger on why that is, but it kind of diminishes the effect of what they're trying to do.
WOW you just hit the nail on the head for me. Driving makes me nuts. I know its anxiety that starts it so I try and sing while driving to help diffuse it but man if you cut me off i turn into a rage monster. Once i hulk out it takes me FOREVER to chill out even with singing. I am gonna have to put a 54321 kit in my car. Thanks for your help!
I have a partner with ADHD, and I just want to thank you for the videos that you've made about it. I have a lot more learning to do so that I can better support them, but watching your content has helped me put some more strategies in my tool box. Thank you for all your hard work!
THIS! Things rally started to shift for me when I realized how much I actually was trying to supress intense emotions and how much better I feel when I give them full attention and then an outlet through some kind of movement. Thank you soso much for all you provide and share
Im trying to navigate my super complicated brain, I have ADHD, OCD, CPTSD, MDD and its hard to figure out which is causing what. Not to mention the physical problems I have been having. My PC doctor is dismissive of everything I say, I keep a detailed journal and brought in people who had seen my seizures, I even have videos of my muscles spasming that he wouldn't watch. My entire nervous system is messed up. I think the pain was causing my seizures. But I have no idea.
I dont have adhd but last week i got triggered reading a manga, and almost at the same time as i was thinking "this is really shocking" i noticed my breath getting irregular, my body shaking(ive had tremors for as long as i can remember). So instead of trying to rationalise it away, i told myself "i think my body is very upset" so i tried to contact people irl but didnt get there, so I ended up talking to an online friend(asking if they were ok with me trauma dumping), explaining what happened, basically venting. I cried a little, felt sad, but also more calm So yeah I definitely agree theres value and power in being aware of triggers and signs
Hey thank you for the way you explained things this video, I recognized a LOT of the material from other contexts in your videos, and I just LOVE how you threaded it all together in this particular order here, and I deeply appreciate the consistent messaging!!! 🖤💜💙💚💙💜🖤 Much Love to You always!!!
Oh, and I LOVE the Aqua color you chose!!!! I know blues can be really hard to achieve without going chemically sideways and you not only achieved it but it looks Stunning on You!!! 🖤💜💙💚💙💜🖤 Much Love!!
My best friend is a fan of yours and very often gets flooded with deep feelings of sadness. I hope this helps them because the ways that I cope with emotional flooding in no way work for them 💕
Thank you for talking about this, I was misdiagnosed with BPD but in reality it was ADHD and Autism + trauma, emotional flooding was my biggest issue and is currently still a big one. It’s debilitating in relationships thank you for bringing awareness to this ❤
Need more videos like this, I have adhd and a history of a lot of trauma and am going through medical school right now so regulating has been super hard with clinicals and extracurriculars and life
I needed it week ago Friday to Monday. I made a request to a friend that she not fix me, and just listen. I know it’s hard for her and I told her I know that. She went in harder. She then lectured me on how much I need therapy, that I’m a people pleaser, and on and on…we navigated a difficult convo and came out still friends. I told her that I was proud of us. She replied that she doesn’t want to do this anymore. No more friends. Sigh. They want you to change but they don’t want us to change anything around them
Do you handle things differently if it's ADHD-related emotional flooding vs an autistic meltdown? If so, how do you tell which of the two you're experiencing? And how would you suggest approaching the meltdown differently? (I realize these are complex questions that may not be answerable in comment form. Just putting them out into the world. I appreciate what you do!)
Im not a clinician, just a person with both. Personally, I dont think it matters exactly what type of meltdown you're dealing with because its gonna feel different for everyone. I think it matters more that you establish safe ways to feel grounded or check in with yourself than to label it exactly right/have the perfect approach. Most of the time for me, by the time ive noticed im already pretty dysregulated and i just need something to help me feel more capable or ok. i hope that is helpful for you! good luck
Hi! Something that I have found (recently) as a autistic/adhd person has been meditation/holding my present mind in a radically compassionate way. In order to help regulate my emotions and thoughts (as they tend to lean towards obsessive). Ik it’s often a harped on topic to help regulation, but learning zazen has been life changing. I hope this helps any and all :)
i find that noise and light and sensory overstimulation can push me closer to the meltdown point. now i try to always bring a hat and sunglasses, a snack, noise cancelling headphones, and if its warm, a little battery powered fan (adhd, antidepressants, and other meds can make you more heat sensitive!) next to my bed i keep all my meds in arms reach as well as noise cancelling headphones. i have snacks in my room and fidget toys and chargers. and my bed is my safest and coziest place also im going to try emdr with my therapist soon around this flooding. not sure if it will do anything but maybe worth a try 🤷
So, if I have emotional flooding (i have adhd): for me, my unconscious strategy has been to disociate or disconnect. So, when someone in a commedy is trying to pull off a lie and it looks so obvious that they're going to get caught that period of watching them attempt to lie is too much to handle. I'm pausing and unpausing the movie and hiding under a blanket awkward giggling. So, I'm wondering is it emotional flooding still? I also suspect that I have autism and I have a lot of trauma that could make emotions around lies and the act of "getting caught" (even if there was no lie) feel extra big. And I'd say I'm disconnected from my own feelings because if something like this happens to me, I get snappish or ecared in a way that is within spitting distance of managable. The biggest thing that helps me work through big feelings like this is just having someone around. If someone is sitting next to me that I'm comfortable with, I can chatter at them how much scenes like that make me tense, but I don't need to pause the video. Also, if I'm watching an interview of someone where my instincts are screaming at me that theyre lying, I can't watch it unless I get a comentator to walk me through those parts. However, I also, in the last several years, started with routines to check my emotional state. - Relax my shoulders, do they stay relaxed or immediately tense up again? - test similarly by relaxing my stomach, fixing my posture etc. - I literally didn't know that feeling safe was an actual feeling until I was 39, I always thought it was the absense of feeling. But this has helped me more quickly deal with alexethymia and I haven't noticed it help with emotional flooding per se. (I love behavioral analysis channels for because they can help me look for the reasons why I instinctively knew they were lying, spidey at the behavioral arts is the most compassionate and tries to keep his opinions out of the analysis, making him a conforting person to listen to even if I might disagree with his opinion of the person he's analyzing, which doesn't happen often).
Fudge-it putty gives me both an objective and a desire to use it, which i have never had the desire to before because I did not understand how to fidget with it because I was never mad while attempting to use it. 🖤💜💙💚💙💜🖤 It's a great name let's keep it!! 🖤💜💙💚💙💜🖤 Much Love!!
This is what it was like teaching 4th graders, ahhh the memories . . I was the student . . . I just felt bad for the teacher lol like not my zoo not my animals but damm 🙈😆 🖤💜💙💚💙💜🖤 Much Love!!
Thank you!!! I didn't know I had ADHD until my son was diagnosed (I have similar characteristics). And I've struggled with flooding all my life. I didn't know the two were connected!
Are these behaviors something you would see in someone on the autistic spectrum, too? I can relate to a lot of what you said, but I have never gotten the sense that I'm ADHD. (I start falling asleep if I sit still for more than a few minutes.) I've learned to manage my anger/ rage over the years, and now my primary flood emotion is sadness and hopelessness. On the other hand, I also have a tendency to shut down and shut out the world completely.
This has been SUCH a sore spot for me basically my entire life on this earth 😵💫 As a kid when I got set off by something, I would just get overloaded with frustration or disappointment, and I remember my mom saying things to me like "Stop being a drama queen." Or "are you traumatized? 🙄" I felt like such a huge failure everytime I felt the need to cry for a really long time. Still working on it but I am unlearning that shame.
Fuckin christ, I couldn’t be happier to have found your channel. Literally feel like I’m sitting on a couch with you just talking about weird brain stuff. Thank you so much for being you 🥹 Subscribed! Signed, prior mental health professional turned teacher, AuDHDer & all around ND nerd 🤍
I’ve never been diagnosed with ADHD and don’t know that I have it but I have emotional flooding very badly, I always thought it was an anxiety thing for me. It happens at work and it’s effecting my life so negatively that sometimes I feel like I’m dying from it. I just can’t stop crying.
I used to literally cry when I had even slightly embarrassing moments in elementary school, like forgetting the rules to a game. I literally could not stop it, even though the crying only made me more angry and embarrassed. I was just told I was a sensitive soul and it was kind of written off as immaturity.
I would love for you to talk about ADHD couples. And space for time out. And really anything else you'd like to talk about. Should ADHD couples have their own bedrooms? Obviously in space allows. Should we have our own is she and he sheds or she and she sheds or he and she sheds are they and they sheds etc? But if you could talk about spaces where we have time to out or time to ourselves and how to do that when you're both ADHD would be useful.. I would love to hear about neurodivergent couples and ADHD couples.
So I’ve not been diagnosed, but believe I have symptoms. The recent death of Liam Payne, who I absolutely adored, has made me feel broken. It’s been 10 days and I’m still crying like it happened an hour ago. I’m obsessed. I can’t stop thinking about it and him. Is that a good definition of “emotional flooding”??
![Lp. Сердце Вселенной #60 РОЖДЕНИЕ ЛОЛОЛОШКИ [Финал] • Майнкрафт](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/YoR0pAV9FVQ/mqdefault.jpg)
FREE TOYS OR GIFT CARDS FOR TOYS! Everyone who signs up to my giveaway with @bellesaco wins something! www.bboutique.co/vibe/mickeyatkins-yt
AuDHDer here: Thank you for this. Emothional Flooding has been one of the most debilitating parts of - and is the reason why I realised it is - my disability. This shit **sucks**. It's so scary to realise that you literally *cannot* think past the feelings; and it's been a friggin' *journey* to try and figure out ways to cope.
Seriously! It really makes me feel like such a failure. Especially as a parent! It makes me so scared for the type of example I am setting for my child. 😢 I do the best I can, but my adhd is completely untreated because I have a history of substance abuse and no doc trusts me. Nevermind that I have had clean drug tests every single month for nearly a decade....but I'm on suboxone so no one will prescribe me any controlled meds. Yeah, I feel ya...coping is very difficult.
@@caseyw.6550that’s so frustrating! Especially because we KNOW that people with undiagnosed/untreated AuDHD tend to self medicate in a lot of destructive ways. So basically they’re denying you treatment because you did the EXACT THING PEOPLE WHO NEED TREATMENT OFTEN DO
@abbywolf9701 EXACTLY. It's such a mess. My suboxone doc, who understands this stuff, works for a clinic where all she can prescribe is suboxone. Any other doctor I've seen isn't allowed to prescribe suboxone and so they are really uneducated on the matter. It's obvious they are scared of getting in trouble for prescribing me any control medications. And then there's the mess of even finding doctors who will take my insurance. The system is so dysfunctional. Thank you for understanding. I really appreciate having a space to vent. ❤️
@@aylabeers3274 omg fr. I gotta work on that because I gotta cope on my own soon, but right now I'm barely riding the current 😔 Whenever my husband doesn't have the capacity to talk about something that's specifically upsetting me, like if I ask if I can talk and he says not then, I have to give him some space to declutter his own mind first (he has ADHD, I'm AuDHD) so we present differently.
But a lot of times my rational mind goes out the window & when he asks for a timeout, the ✨rejection sensitivity✨
kicks in.
I think it comes off to some people as codependent or that I have BPD, but I don't. I just have really, really strong emotions at times and if I'm not stable enough to realize my behavior right away, I can act entitled to his attention, forget to empathy for his side, or get mad at him by emotionally projecting my insecurities and being loud about it... And I feel rejected? I obviously know how it works. So why can't I stop it? Identify it sooner? I feel like a jerk!! But the RS is so strong and hard to control. Idk how I'm gonna do this but I have to...Alone
Ditto on the AuDHD. It's terrifying and so hard to identify when my system has been hijacked like this.
I used to be great at masking my emotions and dealing with them in private, but ever since my car accident I have these uncontrollable meltdowns in front of people. It’s humiliating and has caused some of my family members to call me toxic. Emotional dysregulation is so frustrating and isolating. Thank you for discussing this topic. 💜
Quite frankly it's toxic we're all expected to be happy little robots in front of others, keeping those nasty emotions to yourself. It pushes people to ignore emotions until they collapse
🫂💜 as a person who has also been in accidents (multiple) I can attest to this - brain trauma from the whiplash or the jarring or the fear trauma of the accident can take a long time to recover from. Pink Concussions is an organization that studies specifically females with concussions. People with female hormones take longer to recover. Please be kind to yourself as much as you can.
@@439801RS I feel this so hard. Just lost a friend over this - they wanted me to stop "talking about deep stuff" when they were "just trying to have a good conversation and good company." The thing is, they CONSTANTLY did EXACTLY THAT, I was letting them do it, and I wouldn't have asked them to warn me because I KNOW that this shit doesn't have warnings. It just explodes out.
"Let me know if this is a good time" Bish it is not a good time, and won't be a good time for a long time. I'm not walking on eggshells between my emotional dysregulation and someone else's emotional dysregulation when they don't do me the same "courtesy!"
Edit: I also mildly asked them to avoid some of the extra meltdown-triggering topics, but those topics meant a lot to them so I held back a lot of my discomfort. I just blamed myself and on my neurodivergence, but now I see that I was being walked all over and used :(
I feel like your backdrop is my visual fidget toy for our virtual therapisty sessions
Yess
Yes!
Right?! I feel so much joy (and curiosity because she changes it!) … oops now I have to back up the video.
Whoa. This is intense for me right now. I’m going to come back to this. Thank you Mickey!
i have never heard that word outside of scratch
this is one of the hardest parts for me. My way of getting the brain wiggles out (I call them that because it makes me feel better about it) is either art, metal music, as well as a mental check of 'did I eat, drink, or sleep today?" I've also given the feeling almost like a persona as well. One of the hardest things for me was recognizing that the intrusive thoughts are not a reflection of my desire. By calling it Brian it's like "goddammit Brian again? Really? If I eat a snack will you go back to sitting in your corner?"
Brian is just brain with a typo. He's still brain but just looks a little different.
That's funny because I call it feeling squiggly sometimes when there are feelings and you don't have an outlet, because I writhe a little in frustration. So, I squiggle.
It's sort of similar.
i love the idea of personifying your intrusive thoughts so you don’t identify it as a dark part of yourself i.e. what people like to call “what you’re really thinking”. that is incredibly damaging and has been a source of shame and guilt for me for years. i think ill start calling mine Brian as well, thank you so much for sharing your experiences
That's actually brilliant. I'm going to do that I think.
I never knew this was a thing. I've struggled for years with this never knowing why I cry hysterically over a casserole or go into a rage because I cannot find a shoe. Thank you. Just knowing that I am not alone is so helpful.
You are not alone! The more I learn about neurodivergence the more I can understand about my past responses to things. (And forgive myself). 💜🫂
Flying into an uncontrolled rage over some tiny thing, that in my mind is the straw breaking the camel's back, has been so embarrassing. It's very comforting to know that I'm not just some weirdo.
Something I found comforting is you're not seeing me go from 0 to 100. I've been desperately trying to hold it all together so it's actually going from 99 to 100.
Lost wallet, shoe, sunglasses rage is SO real and SO frustrating, and for me I get stuck in being embarrassed I get so upset over it at all. Usually this happens when I’m already running late (ding ding biggest shame trigger!)
The lost shoe rage is SO REAL.. I literally have dreams I get extremely frustrated I can’t find a shoe..
So i struggle with 54321. I really like the 3-3-3 strategy:
Identify three things you see
Identify three things you hear
Move three parts of your body
Repeat if needed 😊
Thank you so much for this. The flooding happens mostly at work, and your suggestion is very doable for a work setting .
@@dugongsdoitbetter you might also try, if you can, walking to restroom and splashing cold water on your face. I have to do this if the 333 method isn't helping enough...like if I'm on the verge of a full blown panic attack. Also, slow deep breaths!
Love this now I gotta remember hehe
Thank you so much for that! I struggle with remembering which sense is which number and it's hard to find smells and tastes sometimes and I end up in my head trying to remember or figure out what I can taste, lol. That's gonna be helpful!
I just had a meeting last week with my boss about my "disproportionate emotional outbursts" especially with a particular coworker who keeps triggering my flooding. I've always responded to certain types of rejection/criticism with uncontrollable crying and I've been reprimanded and shamed for the flooding all my life. I never thought it could be part of my suspected ADHD. The last time I tried discussing whether I have ADHD with a therapist, she pointed out the overlap in symptoms with PTSD and said we should just focus on that.
I finally got diagnosed this year (at 60). Also CPTSD therapy for several years. It has been so healing. It was affirming to get the actual diagnosis AND you can use it to ask for accommodations in the workplace - once you figure out what you need. I’d say this is an area that needs accommodations- even if that is only understanding from your boss.
Wow this is invaluable. I used to describe it as if I was being hit in the face with a fire-hose and being asked to figure out what flavour the water is.
That`s very apt, I`m tucking that description into my back pocket for later. Thank you!
I feel like that's a perfect description ♥
Probably the worst comorbid symptom with CPTSD. Appreciate this video, great explanation as always!
This is so timely for me. I tend to bury my feelings until I can't. I have been burying a LOT lately, and a couple of weeks ago, the dam broke, and I have been underwater since.
Regarding physical outlets, I have very recently (out of sheer desperation to deal with overwhelming emotions) started to put a cold wet washcloth on my face. It's wild how much it helps. It's so simple that I never really expected it to work. Just sharing in hopes it may help any of you! Much love!
I like to sit under the running shower with a washcloth on my face. It's like a sensory deprivation kind of thing for me, blocking out everything else.
@phoenixfreefall YES! I love that too! Very therapeutic.
I tried psilocybin-assisted therapy and saw significant improvement in my ADHD symptoms
The setting really put you in a wonderland mood, particularly with the objects and pictures provided during the experience. It was my first time taking a high dose and that day changed how I see time and dimensions.
I've started microdosing mushrooms in place of my prescriptions i feel like ive become a better person... best decision ive ever made. I wish it was more accessible to those that need.
Did you use a specific protocol or dosage?
I did a guided ceremony with a therapist, 3.5g of psilocybin. The experience was profound.
He provides a variety of items, including mushrooms, LSD, DMT, and even chocolate bars.
I'm not diagnosed but I genuinely feel so controlled and at the mercy of my emotions. Makes me feel so awful about myself because it's paralysing.
Omg... I've been doing this, I've been singing when I'm stuck in real deep sadness I couldn't get out of. Ive found singing my feelings helped me come back to myself. Thank you
I’m currently studying to become a music therapist and there’s plenty of studies that show that singing is effective for emotional regulation 😊
@@kaseythompson7948 this is due to the manual stimulation of the vagus nerve
@@kaseythompson7948Music therapist? Sounds amazing! Can you tell more about it?
Singing/listening to music has always been a way I've coped with my emotions/feelings/various mental illnesses. Music is the best therapy! And actual therapy too! I do both! :)
My husband and I both have ADHD and something that was really important for me to make sure to accept and validate that meltdowns will happen more often in our house and the goal is only to make sure no one hurts themselves or anyone else. Everything is just a reaction. We just gotta avoid harm or damage because I have made a lot of harm to myself and damage to property personally, and I will say it's embarrassing after the comedown having to clean up the mess because I wasn't thinking clearly and made bad choices out of panic... ADHD feels like it's a parasite sometimes 🤢 This isn't living
I really needed to read this, I appreciate you sharing
@@Pfpfpfpfpf2020 That made my day! Glad it helped, and your piano tutorials are cool btw 👌🏼
@@Bandito.Swiftie aww thank you 💝
I had so much self loathing prior to my diagnosis and treatment. Now I understand why I am the way I am. im so much kinder to myself now. I LOATHE driving! I've never been in an accident, but I'm a fast driver and hate everyone on the road. EVERYONE. 🤣
SAME!!!
Hard same.
I loathe driving for the opposite reasons lol. For me it’s anxiety inducing, I’m a slow driver, and I’m overly cautious with every surrounding driver. It’s funny how people can differ.
Seriously!! When we play the what-would-you-do-if-you-won-the-lottery game...I wouldn't get a fancy car, I'd get a driver!
And then we combine it with the struggle of emotional regulation when you have autism too. 2 of my boys and I have the combination and it can be so hard to experience it and the guilt associated with it after it passes. My youngest is more of an internalizer (he only has autism thankfully) and seeing him sit down and just silently ball. That shatters my heart every time. I hope that I can help them all better.
"safe people"? that sounds great, where can I get some of those! (thanks Mickey, great tips as always)
You can be your own safe person! It’s taken many years but no one soothes me more than myself! Start working on it today! ❤️
@@LosAngelesLaura Excellent point. I am learning from following content in cPTSD how big a part of it is that I never learned how to self soothe as a child or was discouraged from "indulging" in soothing behaviors. As a child you learn to self soothe by having the adults around you model it or co-soothe with you to teach you. My parents were really disregulated themselves so despite some effort on my mom's part at least they weren't able to effectively teach me (I suspect my whole family, including parents and grandparents, are Au/DHD.) I was raised in a culture that used fear and authority to motivate and distrusted pleasure and inner desire. So I internalized that and basically coped with my undiagnosed mental needs by just being really harsh with myself and really anxious about everything falling apart if I didn't stay "disciplined." One of the first mindfulness meditations I found that helped open things up for me talked about how there's no kindness without discipline and no discipline without kindness. Now I'm trying to learn to do the things I need to do in order to be kind to myself and not out of cruelty/guilt. Basically self love and self validation!
@@LosAngelesLaura I did say "some" - I may contain multitudes but I'm still just one person 🌻
Lmk if you find some 🤣
I feel ya. 🫶🏻 I've been pretty isolated for the past couple years. I'm a late dx'd AuDHDer.
I recently searched online for local ND adult connection groups and was happy to find one that met virtually which suits my needs well. We haven't talked about emotional flooding, but having folks to chat with whose nervous systems work in similar enough ways has been immensely comforting. And some of us have continued texting after the facilitated sessions ended which has been nice.
There are folks who will want to be your safe people. When I'm less hopeful, I find a lot of comfort in the Tom Rosenthal song Worry Not. It's really lovely.
I lost my mom to unaliving in June 2019, your energy and spirit reminds me of her so much. I really appreciate your pitch and tone of voice, its relaxing but also serious. Your vibes are very comforting and I'm glad YT recommended me your channel again. +1 subscriber :)
I'm late diagnosed autistic and very much get emotional flooding too. Agree that it can be very debilitating and takes a lot out of you along with how long it takes to get back to base level.
I was lucky to be in therapy from a very young age, so im able to pull coping mechanisms out before i get to a full meltdown.
I also have been getting increasingly better at enforcing boundaries for what i can/cant handle. So when i feel myself flooding, i have ways to cut it off early, and to inform others "i cant handle this right now".
but again, thats 8-10 years of therapy since i was single digits. And im still having to continuously apply the lessons and do work. its only been the past few years where ive reall gotten to a 'safe' point with my regulation around other people.
I had used a lot of these techniques and still struggled with emotional flooding, especially in high stress moments at work. The thing I've found most helpful for me is consistently taking my ADHD meds - definitely not accessible for everyone but would recommend if medication is something you're open to
Thank you for this, Mickey. I'm neurotypical but foster parenting a kid who was just diagnosed with ADHD. This is so helpful for me to understand a bit more about what she might be experiencing and how to help her.
God bless you for caring about her enough to learn more about her mental state. I was a foster and the women I was with didn’t care this much. They compared me to their own children and belittled me when all I needed was support. Love on her and she will bloom like a flower 🌹 finally being watered properly!
It would be really helpful for me to have the "bullet points" listed out somewhere, either in the description or a pinned comment. So I'm going to re-watch and try to do that here.
Emotional flooding: intense emotions triggering a melt down that is NOT a moral failing but just how the neurodivergent brains works.
1. Try to become more aware and grounded in our bodies. Look for signs and triggers. Do body scans. Use a therapist and journaling to help you notice these warning signs so we can figure out how to regulate ourselves.
2. Strategy to help: have a physical outlet. Exercise, singing loudly or humming, temperature changes, comfort objects, drinking water, eating something we enjoy, find grounding techniques that work for us. Practice grounding techniques when you don't need them so when you do need them, you can help yourself. REMEMBER: Emotions are a messenger, trying to remind you of a part of you that needs care or compassion.
3. Create a safe space to give yourself a time-out. Sensory caves are a built-in help if you can prepare it ahead of time so you can just go there when you need to get grounded/reduce sensory input. It must be a safe place for you to let the emotions run their course. Adjust our environment to allow ourselves a safe and comfortable place to feel our feelings and get ourselves regulated. It's okay that our environment looks different because our brains work differently. Create a toolkit: Positive affirmations, enjoyable music, snacks, fidget toys, weighted blanket, etc.
4. Create an understanding between us and our safe people. Really consider how they can support you when your emotions need to run their course. Find ways to communicate ahead of a meltdown, verbal and nonverbal cues, that can clue in our safe people on how to help us. Being properly supported actually helps us process through the emotional flooding/meltdown.
5. Don't be afraid to ask for support!! When our brain is emotionally flooded, we aren't operating from a place where we can function like normal. It's not a moral failing, it's recognizing when we need support. It's okay to need support!!
6. Set boundaries around our capacity. Hyper-focusing is sometimes necessary, but for our own physical health we shouldn't be doing it all the time. When we aren't sleeping enough, hydrating enough, nourishing our body with healthy food, all of that can push us into emotional flooding more often. So consider how we can accept and have boundaries for ourselves that add value to our lives while caring for ourselves and our loved ones.
I hope I got it all and understood it. I hope that can help other neurodivergent folks.
Did thanks, i turned it off at the ad for vibratory as had it on speaker omg didn't expect that. Sitting quietly trying to read comments and not watching video now.haha
Mickey can you pin this? Would that be ok?
Wow, I missed a lot of #2. Thank you so much for doing this.
Thank you so much for this list.
Could not have seen this at a more apt time. With the way everything is going lately, I'm getting emotionally flooded more often, and now I actually have the language and understanding to start doing something about it. From the bottom of my heart Mickey, thank you.
ADHDer here. Why have I not been told about this? 😮😮😮 like I have been noticing it but did not know it was an ADHD thing nor where it came from. My anger is often really intense, which leads me to avoid the emotion at all cost as I get concerned I might lash out at people (I don’t, at least not since I was a child). I have carried so much guilt about it cause i thought it made me a bad and/or unsafe person
@@BlakeLemonPants SAME! I have always wondered why I have such intense emotions. I have bursts of extreme excitement (over literally nothing) and also intense anger. I never knew what was "wrong" with me. It makes SO much sense that it's a symptom of my adhd. I probably could have gotten a diagnosis MUCH sooner if this had been acknowledged.
Exercise has helped me in the past with the intense anger. Otherwise I have outbursts and I tend to take it out on inanimate objects. God help anyone who gets in my way. It's not an enjoyable way to go through life. You're not a bad person, you just experience emotions more intensely than the average person. I don't know about you, but nearly everyone I've ever been friends with have said "I thought you were a b*tch at first, but then I got to know you."
I love the little bubbles that pop up, like the octopus plushie bubble. More of these would be fun, helpful and engaging.
ADHD, emotionally flooded person here! I am going through some stuff (dad has Alzheimer’s, my siblings are in denial, they have been unreliable, and disrespectful to me when I ask for help) and I lost my cool with them last week. We have a family mtg coming up & I am just anticipating losing my cool again, and my body is all kinds of effed up (stomach issues, my brain is constantly arguing with them, I can’t sleep, my body is stiff, etc) and I’ve noticed I keep going back to a stupid game on my phone to help calm my brain. Now I’m in a cycle where I just can’t stop playing this mindless game to escape my anxiety and I know it’s not healthy. I needed this video today more than ever 😭😭😭😭
🫂🫂🫂 you are in a really hard place! I recently read an article about a study that found that SOME games are actually soothing to our nervous systems and even help us to wind down. So your game may be legit helping you. (Btw been there with the parents, I’m so sorry. It is really hard especially when some of the sibs don’t want to admit it’s happening).
the timing of this video is nothing short of impeccable
I listened to this as I cried all the way home from another seemingly useless neurology appointment 💔 I needed this so bad. Love y’all sm, let’s take care of ourselves today❤❤❤❤
My dad (psychologist and fellow ADHD) has shared with me something that has helped him and some of his clients with me in relation to what you’re talking about at 5:09, that he dubbed “4 corners”. (Not making medical advice here, just sharing as someone who has used it on my own anxiety, and inattentive ADHD). It’s basically when you’re in a decent space, put yourself in a few different memories and work on feeling them in your body, from that moment (not like from now), being from a joyful memory, sad memory and really intense moments (for those with trauma, my dad says to not pick triggering memories, but something different).
Then name the most profound feeling, to yourself. Do them one at a time, and sit with it. Do it frequently enough in a good place, then as you start to have issues where you can think about the better parts of what you experienced in the “4 corners” draw to that as “help” in a way, an anchor, for something that may be a current issue.
It sounds wonky, but at least for anecdotes, it’s helped me with my anxiety
Im an auDHDer and i didnt realize emotional flooding was even a thing. This explains so much of what i go through
Same!
Yep! Me too.
After 30 years of unhelpful therapy, I finally got appropriate diagnoses. In the 4 years since then, I have gotten SO much better at noticing the warning signs.
In the past 3 months, (with the help of certain chemicals) I have even managed to create some space between noticing the warning signs and demonstrating multiple external nonverbals indicating the emotions simultaneously. In the past two weeks, I have managed a couple times to create that space WITHOUT the aforementioned chemicals, and am certain that, with practice, I can get to the point where I can do this consistently without chemical supports.
But my friend (also autistic but not ADHD), whose trauma trigger is emotionality in females, and who insists on POKING and PROBING about emotions and their causes in pretty much every conversation, has, for some reason, decided that this is the time to set boundaries and insist that I not be around them until I can basically engage in conversations without any perceptible emotional nonverbal signals. This would be reasonable if that meant not swearing or screaming, and if leaving conversations and asking them to slow down and give me time to regulate and respond WITHOUT them shooting rapid-fire questions and cues at me. But they pick up on the slightest tension in my voice or body, so they notice only a second or two after I do, and before I am able to access the scripts I have prepared to try to remove myself from the situation.
And now, they have decided that this means that I am not "professional" enough for the nonprofit we were going to start together.
So I have lost my friend and my career path at the same time, right at the time that I was finally seeing some improvement. They keep saying it's okay to be where I am and that if I want to, I can develop better emotional regulation skills...
But they are SO sensitive, I don't think I will ever be able to develop emotional regulation skills to the level that they will accept, because the emotions just hit so fast and so strong. To me, that means it is NOT okay for me to be where I am.
My emotional regulation skills are now at a point where, even under stress, they are not interfering with any other part of my life. It is literally just this ONE friend who is triggering the floods on a regular basis, because they can't seem to curb their curiosity. I kind of feel like, if they get to poke at my emotions, then I should get to let those emotions show for 3-30 seconds, take a few deep breaths, then return to what we were discussing before they poked.
But no.
They poke.
My voice gets a little strained.
They ask if I am triggered.
I say yes.
And then they insist on steering me through a whole bunch of processing steps that I have been able to do for myself for years, refusing to talk about anything else, and resisting when I say I think the best course of action is for both of us to get a good night's sleep and try again in the morning, or when I flat out tell them to stop, to pause, to give me time.
I know that the issue is that they are triggered by signs of emotion, but they are also really big on explaining that, while it's often kind for people to try to avoid your triggers, you -- the person who is triggered-- is ultimately responsible for healing those trauma networks. By insisting that we deal with MY emotions, by cuing me to process MY trauma responses (mostly to frustration and confusion) instead of taking responsibility for their own reactions to my emotions, I really feel like they are holding me responsible for their trauma responses instead of taking responsibility for it themselves.
I love my friend and miss them so much. I have already demonstrated that I am 100% willing to do absolutely everything I can to reduce the amount of triggering behavior, even if it means regularly using chemicals that I managed to go 46 years without using at all. But it is not good enough for them... and then they tell me that it is just paranoia when I tell them that "until your emotional regulation skills mean you don't show emotions externally" means "forever."
Anyway, I don't know what the point of this is. Clearly I needed to process this a bit more, so I hope it's okay that I did that here.
Oh, and they keep telling me I can process with my therapist... yeah... they have a therapist come to their apartment for 90 minutes every single week. I have to go to my therapist or deal with the slightly less effective virtual sessions, and I get an hour with her on average once per month. Can you process this with another friend is a reasonable question. Process this with your therapist is not a reasonable command. And neither is helpful if you won't talk to me until it has been processed.
I am so sad, and so angry, and so sad.
I’m so sorry. For what it’s worth, (from a stranger on the internet) that doesn’t sound like a friendship that is working for you. It’s okay to leave that person behind. I hope you can find a better equilibrium that works for you.
"Rejection is protection" --BurbNBougie
I can see you are mourning the loss of this friend, and rejection never feels good, but it sounds like this person really wasn't realistically wanting to be with you as you are. I've mourned the ending of relationships that really weren't good for me in the first place, friendships take a lot of investment and it's hard to lose all that, everything you liked about them, and the plans you had together. But it really sounds to me that they have some issues and they preferred to focus on your issues instead.
This person is WAY too entitled to You and Your mental illness. They have taken on a pastoral role. It’s gross. Honestly they sound super controlling.
This person is refusing to respect your boundaries and needs while insisting you respect theirs. That's extremely hypocritical of them and a toxic attitude in a friendship. As much as it hurts to lose them, you're truly better off without them. Expecting people never to emote is a completely unrealistic expectation and unfair to demand.
doesn’t sound healthy for you as others mentioned
I have ptsd & my partner had adhd. I have issues when he snaps even though it isn't directed at me. This honestly helped me understand him a little better.
As a late-identified AuDHD AFAB person, I think emotional flooding was one of the primary reasons I was misdiagnosed with BPD for years. Alexithymia certainly doesn't help, as oftentimes I'm blindsided by the overwhelming emotions, but now I'm aware that's at play, I'm getting better at noticing how I'm feeling before I get flooded.
I think it is the same for me. Doesn't help that I didn't realise that I had sensory issues until after my autism diagnosis. This meant that when I was saying what was going on I was usually saying that someone said something really stupid and I can't deal.
Shit. I self-diagnosed possible BPD because I have serious and intense mood swings and what felt like hypomanias ("strange moods" that were weird and obsessive and sometimes positive, sometimes negative,) but hey, maybe it's this. I don't know. Therapist and I are looking into it.
Idk if I’m neurodivergent (I feel like I am but never diagnosed, even though my pediatrician wanted me to be evaluated as a child), anyway I feel like this explains why something so tiny can send me into a fit of rage, or have me depressed af (on top of my MDD). This is incredibly helpful because I have found myself saying “I feel like I can’t control it”
I found for it it was helpful to realise when I’m suppressing emotions because I’ve been taught that they are inappropriate or too much for the situation. I’m soooo used to having emotions come up but then my first automatic thought is that it is inappropriate and no one else is having this emotional reaction to this situation. So I carry on with my mind and emotions screaming at me. Only sometimes do the emotions overcome my ability to suppress them.
Thank you so much for this! This really helped me release a lot of shame about the times I’ve been flooded because I didn’t even know that was what was happening. So thank you a million times!
Thank you SO much for this. I have a serious, serious issue with driving exactly as you expressed your experience to be. That in turn makes me a HORRID person on the road and I’m so sick of myself for that. I feel so overstimulated and frustrated that I almost mentally “check out” when I’m on the road and I have to drive an hour and a half total each day for work. It’s almost like I’m just completely at the mercy of my impulses when I’m behind the wheel. I’ve resulted to trying to take longer ways home that are one road, just like removing myself from the freeways for a second, or not driving at all but I know there has to be more I can do to help myself there. I also have a major issue with feeling frustrated and pushing that feeling onto others or reacting towards loved ones in a frustrated manner and I have been really trying to regulate that. I’m excited to get some tips but I just felt so HEARD in the beginning and it already made me feel a bit better.
Legit, i thought this was a symptom of Cptsd and I've done so much DBT work to get through it. Im proud of the work I've done BUUUUT i now have a new trigger that is a co worker. It's so hard. I get so overwhelmingly angry and upset with how she speaks to me and i feel this all over again. I'm going to try some of these extra methods and im hoping they help. Thank you
I love you mickey you always make me laugh. "Fugit pitty" made me giggle. 🤣 I just love your presence and it makes talking about harder topics like this more enjoyable! I'm a long time listener of the show and i'm so grateful for you!
Thanks for posting this! You worded the part about not wanting someone to observe you in your mess, perfectly. I never thought about asking for space in those moments. Sometimes we all need someone to point out the obvious 😊😊❤ thank you!
this needs to be discussed particularly in the work place. I know from experience that meltdowns (emotional overload) is seen as a failing in your professional life and like you can't control yourself, not that the ND person is being overwhelmed and perhaps the work environment or interaction with the ND needs to be adjusted.
💯
Your hair was speaking to me. I loooooooooooove that color.
Same!
Every time Mickey makes a video about ADHD symptoms, I learn something new about what I've been dealing with and how to better regulate when things do happen. Thank you so much for all the work you put into this channel. I've seen measurable growth since I started putting these tips into practice and so have the people closest to me. Appreciated doesn't begin to cover it 💜
This has been extremely difficult for me lately. I’m currently homeless and while I’m lucky to have an RV and not be completely outside-I have zero space to decompress. Going for a walk means dealing with the less safe unhoused people and their aggressive dogs. Going for a drive is emotionally exhausting because I have to leave my RV parked and hope nobody breaks into it. I completely understand why people do hard dr*gs just to mentally escape this. I’ve been overeating and gained 40 lbs in the last six months. I’m so stressed and crying all the time. There’s no housing for homeless families (I have a minor child) but there’s housing for adults without kids. Make it make sense. Sorry for the rant. It’s just been so hard
Also, have you made a video about the connection between ADHD (neuro-divergence) and addiction? If not, I would really love to have tools tackling that
I had no idea this was an adhd symptom! I'm diagnosed with adhd but also bipolar 1, ptsd and GAD and I get emotional flooding but always assumed it was one of the other 3 (I can never tell where half of my symptoms are coming from tbh, in a weird way it's nice being able to say after a flashback that I know exactly why it happened) instead of a result of adhd. And maybe for me it's a combination, but this makes a lot of sense. I usually listen to music really loudly when this happens, and when I can't do that for whatever reason I "play" a song I'm really familiar with in my head as loud as I can. It's not the same as actually hearing it but I've gotten to a point where it can kind of override my emotion to a similar degree, basically replacing the emotion that's flooding my brain and body with music instead. It can have more of a dissociative effect than a grounding effect when I'm REALLY flooded but it calms me down, for me that's the goal.
I feel like I have to say this, but you truly are one of the best therapists out there that can really see things from different perspectives and explain things in a way that makes ppl really grasp what they need to do and why they are they way they are. It can be really hard when you feel so different from everybody and like everyone has some secret ability to regulate their emotions and deal with hardships that you haven’t been let in on and have no idea where to begin. You make it very easy to look inward through a window instead of re-experiencing the trauma every time you try to confront it.
I'm only 7 mins in and I feel like you're speaking directly to me. For me it's anger and it was never an issue for me until I had kids 😬 Don't worry, were all fine, I just yell way more than I'd like to and I want to make it stop. Thank you for making this!
>.> Emotional flooding. Not a word I had ever heard, but so spot on. The most dramatic form it tends to take is when I'm already frazzled and technology doesn't work as intended - especially with video games. It's a good thing that controllers are pretty robust because I've attempted to strangle mine more than a few times. 😅
I've been feeling this lately when practicing the piano, and especially when I continue to make the same mistakes while practicing. I just get so filled with rage so suddenly. I think it's because I *know* I'm capable of playing better than I currently am, and what I'm practicing should be "easy," and yet I keep making the same mistakes, which keep getting ingrained into my muscle memory. But because I'm only two months into practicing after not having any kind of lessons for 3 years, I'm having to relearn everything and get back to where I used to be, and continually messing up is so frustrating
Are your palms sweaty, Mom's spaghetti?
Yesssss, my mind always and immediately goes to that any time anyone says it!
I've never felt more seen while watching a UA-cam video 😢. I'm so GLAD you created this video. I recently started going to therapy. A lot of my symptoms match with ADHD. I've experienced emotional flooding and often feel emotional exhaustion. Thank you again for the video 😊
I haven't watched the whole video yet, I just needed to address the mannerism thing. For me personally your energy, and comedic timing, and story telling are masterful and I love your delivery so much. Thank you for being yourself and bringing your voice into this conversation. It's horrible what people will say online. I support you ❤!
16:00 - I feel this so much. I've been going through it recently, and when I've sought support from others the most helpful has been the blunt, no holds barred kind of conversations. Some of my loved ones have been very careful with their wording, and I really appreciate the sentiment and care they display, but somehow that's been much harder to handle. I can't quite put my finger on why that is, but it kind of diminishes the effect of what they're trying to do.
WOW you just hit the nail on the head for me. Driving makes me nuts. I know its anxiety that starts it so I try and sing while driving to help diffuse it but man if you cut me off i turn into a rage monster. Once i hulk out it takes me FOREVER to chill out even with singing. I am gonna have to put a 54321 kit in my car. Thanks for your help!
Wow this hit close to home today!!! Thanks Mickey for all the content and work you put in.
the timing of this could not have been more helpful, thank you Mickey ❤
I have a partner with ADHD, and I just want to thank you for the videos that you've made about it. I have a lot more learning to do so that I can better support them, but watching your content has helped me put some more strategies in my tool box. Thank you for all your hard work!
This video helped me focus on my work and not get overwhelmed so thanks Mickey!
THIS! Things rally started to shift for me when I realized how much I actually was trying to supress intense emotions and how much better I feel when I give them full attention and then an outlet through some kind of movement. Thank you soso much for all you provide and share
Im trying to navigate my super complicated brain, I have ADHD, OCD, CPTSD, MDD and its hard to figure out which is causing what. Not to mention the physical problems I have been having. My PC doctor is dismissive of everything I say, I keep a detailed journal and brought in people who had seen my seizures, I even have videos of my muscles spasming that he wouldn't watch. My entire nervous system is messed up. I think the pain was causing my seizures. But I have no idea.
I dont have adhd but last week i got triggered reading a manga, and almost at the same time as i was thinking "this is really shocking" i noticed my breath getting irregular, my body shaking(ive had tremors for as long as i can remember). So instead of trying to rationalise it away, i told myself "i think my body is very upset" so i tried to contact people irl but didnt get there, so I ended up talking to an online friend(asking if they were ok with me trauma dumping), explaining what happened, basically venting. I cried a little, felt sad, but also more calm
So yeah I definitely agree theres value and power in being aware of triggers and signs
Hey thank you for the way you explained things this video, I recognized a LOT of the material from other contexts in your videos, and I just LOVE how you threaded it all together in this particular order here, and I deeply appreciate the consistent messaging!!!
🖤💜💙💚💙💜🖤
Much Love to You always!!!
Oh, and I LOVE the Aqua color you chose!!!! I know blues can be really hard to achieve without going chemically sideways and you not only achieved it but
it looks Stunning on You!!!
🖤💜💙💚💙💜🖤
Much Love!!
GIRL!! You look like a stunning mermaid 😍🧜🏽♀️
My best friend is a fan of yours and very often gets flooded with deep feelings of sadness. I hope this helps them because the ways that I cope with emotional flooding in no way work for them 💕
Thank you for talking about this, I was misdiagnosed with BPD but in reality it was ADHD and Autism + trauma, emotional flooding was my biggest issue and is currently still a big one. It’s debilitating in relationships thank you for bringing awareness to this ❤
Need more videos like this, I have adhd and a history of a lot of trauma and am going through medical school right now so regulating has been super hard with clinicals and extracurriculars and life
Needed this last weekend lol
I needed it week ago Friday to Monday. I made a request to a friend that she not fix me, and just listen. I know it’s hard for her and I told her I know that. She went in harder. She then lectured me on how much I need therapy, that I’m a people pleaser, and on and on…we navigated a difficult convo and came out still friends. I told her that I was proud of us.
She replied that she doesn’t want to do this anymore. No more friends.
Sigh. They want you to change but they don’t want us to change anything around them
I really needed to hear all of this today. Thanks for being you, Mickey! 💜
I got more out of this video and over two years of therapy. Thank you. Thank you.
Do you handle things differently if it's ADHD-related emotional flooding vs an autistic meltdown?
If so, how do you tell which of the two you're experiencing? And how would you suggest approaching the meltdown differently?
(I realize these are complex questions that may not be answerable in comment form. Just putting them out into the world. I appreciate what you do!)
Im not a clinician, just a person with both. Personally, I dont think it matters exactly what type of meltdown you're dealing with because its gonna feel different for everyone. I think it matters more that you establish safe ways to feel grounded or check in with yourself than to label it exactly right/have the perfect approach. Most of the time for me, by the time ive noticed im already pretty dysregulated and i just need something to help me feel more capable or ok. i hope that is helpful for you! good luck
Hi! Something that I have found (recently) as a autistic/adhd person has been meditation/holding my present mind in a radically compassionate way. In order to help regulate my emotions and thoughts (as they tend to lean towards obsessive). Ik it’s often a harped on topic to help regulation, but learning zazen has been life changing. I hope this helps any and all :)
Oh wow I feel seen. I need a therapist who gets this.
I mean, I'm afraid to ask for support because I have asked for support and I'm surrounded by people who cannot or will not support me
i find that noise and light and sensory overstimulation can push me closer to the meltdown point. now i try to always bring a hat and sunglasses, a snack, noise cancelling headphones, and if its warm, a little battery powered fan (adhd, antidepressants, and other meds can make you more heat sensitive!)
next to my bed i keep all my meds in arms reach as well as noise cancelling headphones. i have snacks in my room and fidget toys and chargers. and my bed is my safest and coziest place
also im going to try emdr with my therapist soon around this flooding. not sure if it will do anything but maybe worth a try 🤷
So, if I have emotional flooding (i have adhd): for me, my unconscious strategy has been to disociate or disconnect. So, when someone in a commedy is trying to pull off a lie and it looks so obvious that they're going to get caught that period of watching them attempt to lie is too much to handle. I'm pausing and unpausing the movie and hiding under a blanket awkward giggling. So, I'm wondering is it emotional flooding still? I also suspect that I have autism and I have a lot of trauma that could make emotions around lies and the act of "getting caught" (even if there was no lie) feel extra big. And I'd say I'm disconnected from my own feelings because if something like this happens to me, I get snappish or ecared in a way that is within spitting distance of managable.
The biggest thing that helps me work through big feelings like this is just having someone around. If someone is sitting next to me that I'm comfortable with, I can chatter at them how much scenes like that make me tense, but I don't need to pause the video.
Also, if I'm watching an interview of someone where my instincts are screaming at me that theyre lying, I can't watch it unless I get a comentator to walk me through those parts.
However, I also, in the last several years, started with routines to check my emotional state.
- Relax my shoulders, do they stay relaxed or immediately tense up again?
- test similarly by relaxing my stomach, fixing my posture etc.
- I literally didn't know that feeling safe was an actual feeling until I was 39, I always thought it was the absense of feeling.
But this has helped me more quickly deal with alexethymia and I haven't noticed it help with emotional flooding per se.
(I love behavioral analysis channels for because they can help me look for the reasons why I instinctively knew they were lying, spidey at the behavioral arts is the most compassionate and tries to keep his opinions out of the analysis, making him a conforting person to listen to even if I might disagree with his opinion of the person he's analyzing, which doesn't happen often).
Thanks for this video. ❤
So… I zoned out for a sec and suddenly I was seeing a dildo for sale 😂
I move that "Fidget Putty" shall hence forth be known as "Fudge It!"
Second?
Fudge-it putty gives me both an objective and a desire to use it, which i have never had the desire to before because I did not understand how to fidget with it because I was never mad while attempting to use it.
🖤💜💙💚💙💜🖤
It's a great name let's keep it!!
🖤💜💙💚💙💜🖤
Much Love!!
Seconded!
this video literally came in the perfect moment in my life, love you
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Thank you!
11:27 too late, already licking the ground
This is what it was like teaching 4th graders, ahhh the memories . . I was the student . . . I just felt bad for the teacher lol like not my zoo not my animals but damm 🙈😆
🖤💜💙💚💙💜🖤
Much Love!!
And I mean it in the BEST way possible, I 💚 this kind of humor
🖤💜💙💚💙💜🖤
Much Love!!
🤣🤣🤣
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
😂😂
thank you 💜
Thank you!!! I didn't know I had ADHD until my son was diagnosed (I have similar characteristics). And I've struggled with flooding all my life. I didn't know the two were connected!
Wow what perfect timing!
Are these behaviors something you would see in someone on the autistic spectrum, too? I can relate to a lot of what you said, but I have never gotten the sense that I'm ADHD. (I start falling asleep if I sit still for more than a few minutes.)
I've learned to manage my anger/ rage over the years, and now my primary flood emotion is sadness and hopelessness. On the other hand, I also have a tendency to shut down and shut out the world completely.
This has been SUCH a sore spot for me basically my entire life on this earth 😵💫 As a kid when I got set off by something, I would just get overloaded with frustration or disappointment, and I remember my mom saying things to me like "Stop being a drama queen." Or "are you traumatized? 🙄" I felt like such a huge failure everytime I felt the need to cry for a really long time. Still working on it but I am unlearning that shame.
Thank you so much for this. This is the hardest for me to deal with.
I hate how out of control my emotions can be. Thank you for this.
it's the worst when this happens at work and you just... can't do anything about it 🙃
Fuckin christ, I couldn’t be happier to have found your channel. Literally feel like I’m sitting on a couch with you just talking about weird brain stuff. Thank you so much for being you 🥹 Subscribed!
Signed, prior mental health professional turned teacher, AuDHDer & all around ND nerd 🤍
I’ve never been diagnosed with ADHD and don’t know that I have it but I have emotional flooding very badly, I always thought it was an anxiety thing for me. It happens at work and it’s effecting my life so negatively that sometimes I feel like I’m dying from it. I just can’t stop crying.
I live with cptsd, adhd and autism and this is a daily struggle 😮💨
I used to literally cry when I had even slightly embarrassing moments in elementary school, like forgetting the rules to a game. I literally could not stop it, even though the crying only made me more angry and embarrassed. I was just told I was a sensitive soul and it was kind of written off as immaturity.
I would love for you to talk about ADHD couples. And space for time out. And really anything else you'd like to talk about. Should ADHD couples have their own bedrooms? Obviously in space allows. Should we have our own is she and he sheds or she and she sheds or he and she sheds are they and they sheds etc? But if you could talk about spaces where we have time to out or time to ourselves and how to do that when you're both ADHD would be useful.. I would love to hear about neurodivergent couples and ADHD couples.
So I’ve not been diagnosed, but believe I have symptoms. The recent death of Liam Payne, who I absolutely adored, has made me feel broken. It’s been 10 days and I’m still crying like it happened an hour ago. I’m obsessed. I can’t stop thinking about it and him. Is that a good definition of “emotional flooding”??
more therapists need to be like u