Ironically the most legendary Schola graduate isn't one who has been molded into a fanatic by the Schola's curriculum but one who survived it while retaining his common sense, humility and true bravery. Of course, I'm talking about the one and only CIAPHAS CAIN, HERO OF THE IMPERIUM!
"Well kid, you're a psyker. You can go to the Schola Progenium, where you will be broken again and again, then rebuilt into a brutal instrument of the Emperor's will. OR, we can send you to the Space Marines for librarian training, where you will be broken again and again, then rebuilt into a brutal instrument of the Emperor's will." "Is there a third choice?" "We basically shovel you into a big brain-furnace that makes space work." "Okay, so do Space Marines get dental?"
Commissar: Ah yes this boy will make an outstanding schola progenium student' Parents: But isn't the schola progenium for orphans? Commissar:(Raises bolt pistol) You would be correct.
Little Jimmy given a bold pistol and told to kill his best friend. "By the emperor's will!" *Bang!* little Ricky's head explodes. Timmy: "oh, WTF? I thought I was your best friend!"
@@LexYeen Then the comissars would oooh and awww and say "What a nice thing to say before you die, heretic." and kill him for wanting to harm the Emperor.
Or by the one out of all the people in the imperium, somehow by tzeenches plans got a Keriegsman… now that’s a series if they team up with a catchachan will be unstoppable
@@akumaking1 teacher: as a reward you get to hunt down this disobedient wrench A few hours later every student in that group is dead Other teacher: Catachan? Teacher: Catachan
@@akumaking1 I think more that the Kreigsman is so good they can’t do anything about it that it even scares the teachers. The two however will team up when things about to go down
*Female Instructor:* You disobedient trash! You want to get up in these walls!? *Horny Student:* (nods furiously) Yes!! *Two Male Instructors:* (watching from a distance) Should we tell him?
@@RabbiHerschel Yes! He did. However, as a former member of the retinue of Rogue Trader Vincent Macmanus it's difficult to tell if his opinions are his own or simply a strategic act of disinfornation to appease the xenos ego and further trade in-roads for other traders (and himself by extension). Dont get me wrong, relying on such misersble star-slime for trade and production so heavily is a recepe for misforune. They are quite literally INHUMAN, they dont share our values for human life, our moral ethics, and its a WELL established fact the Tau specifically ONLY trade as a means of creating their OWN subversive inroads to whatever planet theyre trading WITH. Theres a reason so many treasonous lords are also caught taking part in inhuman deviancies most profane. I digress though. My point is, Cenatica hasnt been a true soldier in a very long time, and it's rumored he's after a Trade Warrant of his own? It doesnt _at all_ excuse his traitorous diatribes, effectively betraying human decency for a profit. But I dont think he genuinely supports theur government. He's likely just a miserable, greedy has-been in dire need of fast and meaty pay day,.
Seeing as we are turning wrestlers into 40k characters, I must say that the voices in the head of one Randall Ortanius which "Cousel him" and "show him things he'll do to you" sound pretty Chaos-y, don't you think. I also suspect that an Astartes who goes by the wall-name Big Show is an Alpha Legionnaire what with the amount of traitor/loyalist turns he is documented to have pulled of. (Seriously check out the lyrics to "Voices" by Jim Johnston if it isn't a textbook example of a chaos cultists thought, I don't know what is)
Oh hey, don't forget that not all Sororitas go to the Battle Sisters. Some get to do fun things like join the Order Famulus where they are sent off to be nannies/concubines/both to people like Planetary Governors while also gently nudging their decision making to be more advantageous to the Ecclesiarchy. Don't get me wrong, they may look after the kids but they are also said kids bodyguards who could snap your neck in 17 different ways if you so much as look at them wrong.
The Famulus are still considered part of the Adepta Sororitas. Some female recruits are also trained as commissars or scions, or as military officers or civic administrators. I’d wager most female recruits are still sent to the Adepta Sororitas, though.
@yossarian Not many people from the Scholam Progenium end up in the Administratum because the education they receive is almost entirely aimed at preparing them for a military career.
BDSM highschool musical 40k, where the kids are turned into instruments, the story of the doomed love between the head cheerleader and Scrumball captain now fleshcrafted into a crying tuba and a screaming trompone.
I seem to remember from the Cain novels that good ol' Ciaphas sometimes snuck out to try and have a bit of a tumble with the Sororitas prospects in his formative years, and they even had a scrumball (AKA space rugby, from what obscure references I gathered) team in his Schola... So hey, not 100% grimdark terribleness after all.
I believe the main part they were taking about that is hell on earth all happens before selection day. Once you’re down the tract you’ve been selected to follow it becomes a lot more chill and more akin to a prep school/university than anime death school.
That series was always light on the Imperium's grimdark. They even mention there is a professional sports league. Because athletic people have time for sports apparently.
Just the average cultural drift in the Imperium, Ciaphases Space Englands has stuff like Tv Shows, tabloid press, sports and horror movies. I guess they lie next to an area where Corpse starch rations and the euthanasia of underperforming manufactoria workers are the norm
IIRC the Cain novel that has him retired and teaching at the Schola mentions that criminals are shipped in and used as target practice for the trainees, so it’s still pretty grim dark.
@@starwarsnerd100 considering options for criminals in 40k, I'd say that counts as a "light sentence". Sure beats torture and getting turned into a servitor or penal legions...
I agree but it is fun and most of the time is right I do wish there were more details but it’s a good 40k podcast with in my opinion tho it is the most enjoyable podcast for 40k
I actually had a Drill Sergeant that was a 40k fan who used to constantly give me shit because I'm an Ork/Imperial Guard fan and he was a Space Wolves fan. Good times
Pax Romana means Roman Peace, and was a period of about 200 years where the Roman Empire had bountiful growth and peace. I reckon Pax Imperial/Imperialis/Imperium is Imperial Peace, or the idealized state of the Imperium.
Hey, fun fact, i am currently playing a Warhammer 40k Pen and Paper game with a group and i actually wanted to do a flashback of the Sister of Battle in the group, where she remembers her youth and then we play a oneshot during her time in the Schola Progenium, actually with the secret love/b-movie-/anime-drama stuff with the drill abbot as the main enemy. So while writing the story up for that i noticed this episode and it's a godsent ...
Please tell me that someone was found sneaking by the drill Abbot and he says "I was just practicing my sneaking sadly it seems that you prove a greater challenge to me, _this_ day"
@@AsterixCodixoh boy where do I even start xD we recently ended the campaign after 5 years with the players killing a Lord of Change and in this final battle, said Sister died and ascended to be a minor saint. So suffice to say, a lot happened since then The oneshot itself worked out quite well ^^ a fairly typical coming of age story between a colorful cast of characters (very untypical for 40k, I know) with a bit of love drama that could only really end in one way: grimdark. Oh and of course the arts teacher tried summoning a daemon in the Schola
Hey, a bloodthirster has a lot of subtly when he wants to. Sometime’s he swings from the left, sometime’s he swings from the right. You can never tell.
"They don't want to waste good talent" 10 minutes earlier "live fire exercise with a 70% mortality rate" 1 minute earlier "as part of commissar training they have to kill the another commissar in training" I think not. Edit: a few minutes later "a battle royal where only one or two individuals live" Edit 2: as far as 40k lore goes I don't care for all the ridiculous trials be it Grey Knight, Astartes or the Scholar.
Administratum Adept: Man, we need more Guardsmen to fight Chaos and Xenos. Where can we find them? Other Adept: Have we considered not murdering half of our elites in training?
@@PhilosophicallyAmerican Admin: If you a better way to prepare guardsmen for the horrors of the Galaxy while being blindingly obedient, I'd like to hear it.....*loads bolt pistol*
@@juandougnac8826 I think you can do grimdark without being nonsensical. Just load the "best-friend-killing bolter" with blanks. If they don't pull the trigger, the real one comes out.
I know that the thumbnail art is supposed to showcase examples of where schola grads could go but it gave me the idea where a group of schola cadets bond together before graduating and going their separate ways. They each live their own lives before being reunited when they are handpicked to join an Inquisitor's retinue. Now they get to work together like the old days in the Schola.
Say it with me now: Celestine Declassified: Schola Survival Guide Seriously imagine a Schola show with the students pulling wacky pranks on their teachers like putting tacks on their chairs, bees in their desk, and then the students get shot because of it. Timmy get shoved in his locker then the other students forgot about him and he’s just dead.
@@brianvanmaanen1897 I don't think it was scout spacemarine . because Bricky did point out it was Tempestus Scions . if i remember . the model had a beret . but i am not knowledgeable in term of 40k lore (more of surface level enjoyer) , so i don't really know .
You guys (and gal) make a lot of references to Emperor Text-to-Speech. What do you think about doing a collaboration with Bruva Alfabusa, or maybe StringStorm? That would be just fucking epic
Or what about working with other 40K community people, animators, youtubers, etc like SODAZ, the dude who made Astartes, Rimmy Downunder, gLuetin, etc?
I love TTS but after reading Promethean Sun and *VULKAN LIVES!* I hate there depiction of Vulkan. It's hilarious and funny, and the Ghost of Ferrus Manus is a big part of Vulkan Lives book. But TTS never mentions how dark Vulkans character went through in these two books. What Curze done to him and his fight with the Eldar. Bricky knows because he referenced the infamous scene where Curze was trying to prove Vulkan was a monster like him and ended up creating a scenario where the Night Lords massacred humans, and Vulkan burnt an Eldar child alive to his trauma and regret. Would love a colab and DK to watch it but after the Vulkan/Salamander episode pls. We gotta see that other side of Vulkan before we appreciate. *THE BIG WAAAAGH POSSESED VULKAN YAH FLASHY GIT!*
@@lonewanderer1328 ...You do realise death is what happens a whole lot during a war right? Heck the whole Empire is for fighting and endless war for absolute purity. Did you mean conflict instead of war because that would make more sense. Even then, considering Khorne seems to only like war because of the deaths that happen...
@@lazyc0mmander277 Sacrifcial death. Not blood and skulls like Khorne. Not wonton massacre or meaningless carnage. One of Khorne's greatest champions, Azariah Kyras, described the blood shed as meaningless blood shed for it's own sake.
"They just take kids with potential" is also how the Jedi did things, funny enough. There's a line from a book that's like the guidelines for the Jedi and it says "The presence of the force in the child is the child's consent to be taken". Anyways, great episode but I'm really getting burnt out on Imperium stuff after a 5-episode-long series on the fall of cadia. How about some more Xenos stuff for a while? Genestealer Cults, Harlequins, Craftworlds (I'm pretty sure you haven't actually done craftworlds and their whole thing, right?), Ynnari (which really should come after Craftworlds and harlequins).
I think big E would not find too many issues with the trials themselves. After all he did not object to the same practices for the Astartes. However I think he would find issues in the many instances where training requires to expressly kill other functioning recruits. Because shooting a dissident on a Wednesday is fun but having 2 functional fully trained commissars and bowing one off to certify the other is literally wasting training and resources. Most recruits even those that fail would still make exceptional administrators of imperial guard soldiers, so i think the emperor would at least advised for bruising but not killing.
I find it hilarious that the posters they’re selling are just badass-waifu pinups despite Bricky’s discomfort towards all things anime . Also now I want to see hulk hogans face photoshopped onto an Astartes shouting “BROTHERRRRRRRRRR!”
The fact that imperial navy officers are one part children of naval officers, direct commission nobles, and schola kids with a tiny sprinkling of upjumped rankers has to make the sub lieutenant / ensign berths on naval ships interesting. You got the guy whose dad is in charge of the north aft port marcro canons, the seventh son of spire baron, the traumatized brainwashed guy and the guy in his early 30s who got a field commission for yelling the correct things at his shipmates during a fire.
Just coming in to say thank you guys for making the lore feel so much more accessible, while giving enough info to not just be memes . I just got into WH40k LAST WEEK, and I can't wait to start painting minis someday
There are a few things I look forward to every week: Saturdays for D&D night, Fridays because end of the work week, and now Wednesdays because of the new Adeptus Ridiculous episode!
22:30 Commissar-“I’m taking this child to the Schola Progenium” Parents- “Wait isn’t that school exclusively for orphans?” Commissar- “Yes” *grabs bolter*
Wait, if they produce officers for the navy, wouldn’t they also for the army? Also, not everyone is sacrificed to the emperor or becomes an inquisitor. Generally only those too weak, insane, lacking in control over their abilities, or other things that make them useless liabilities are sacrificed. They can also become astropaths, battle psykers for the guard, and recruits for space marines librarians and grey knights. You guys should probably do one on psykers and psyker training at some point.
Probably but i imagine that being a naval officer if 40k is probably more involved and needing someone whose been through a higher degree of specialization vs the army where a Scola kid headed that way is probably just going to be trained as a Commisar
As soon as I heard DK name drop Iron Sheik AND finished off with a “Too Sweet!” I knew for certain he was a legit wrestling fan. There’s a weird but interesting overlap between 40K and Wrestling fans and I dig it
The Ciaphas Cain books offer a decent look at the schola progenium. In almost ever book there usually an inner monologue where he mentions part of his time in one particularly when his regiment meets up with the Talarins and an old commissar "friend" of his brings up memories. And one of the last books he is a teacher in a smaller schola specifically for commissarial cadets. So we get a decent look at them though through the kinder if more scared eyes of Cain.
A re-write of 'Tom Brown's School Days '. It's the ancestor of most boarding school narratives. You'd not even need to increase the abuse much to fit it to the Imperium.
I remember seeing a commissar enter and ask us what usually do to destress from all the training and we responded scrabble. one guy then asked what he does to destress and the commissar just shot him
Majorkill mentioned in his alpharius video about wanting to do a joint episode on the alpha legion with you guys adeptus ridiculous. Definitely have to set this up!!!
Finally started collected. I'm working on an indomitus box and both the space marine and necrons combat patrols. Super fun and i can't believe it took me so long to get into miniatures. I always save these podcasts for when I'm building/collecting. Thanks for the content and finally getting me to build/paint!!!! Keep up the great content!!!!
@@LtSprinkulz Given the obscene amount chaos must be fed by some of this. I think Greek history would do them good. For that matter, a thorough education about their enemies would probably both reduce casualties, and increase enemy losses.
I would really like to see you do a short episode on Rylanor the ancient and the massive dunk he did on fulgrim, i know its like a very short story but i think it would be fun especially since D likes his thousand sons
Ironically the most legendary Schola graduate isn't one who has been molded into a fanatic by the Schola's curriculum but one who survived it while retaining his common sense, humility and true bravery. Of course, I'm talking about the one and only CIAPHAS CAIN, HERO OF THE IMPERIUM!
CI-CI-CIAPHUS CAIN, HERO OF THE IMPERIUM!
ALL HAIL CIAPHAS CAIN, HERO OF THE IMPERIUM!
Mood Kindred.
Throne no, now it's stuck in my head 😂
I can't wait for them to cover the luckiest man in the Warhammer 40k universe.
Kids that "don't need no education" become another brick in the wall.
Literally.
I thought they became Servitors.
"We live in a grim dark society.." 10 minute guitar solo
Turns out Pink Floyd are just a 40k fans
@@mainepants that too
The abject cruelty of the Schola Progenium makes sense when you remember the people who wrote it went through the UK's schooling system
"Well kid, you're a psyker. You can go to the Schola Progenium, where you will be broken again and again, then rebuilt into a brutal instrument of the Emperor's will. OR, we can send you to the Space Marines for librarian training, where you will be broken again and again, then rebuilt into a brutal instrument of the Emperor's will."
"Is there a third choice?"
"We basically shovel you into a big brain-furnace that makes space work."
"Okay, so do Space Marines get dental?"
"no but you do get vision"
"I don't know about dental, but you get to spit acid and have two hearts"
yes the organs makw teeth very good
You also get another lung and you get to be taller
-That guy in Response "YOU DARE! THE ONLY INSURANCE POLICY YOU NEED IS THE EMPEROR!"
Normal School: FACE THE WALL!!!
Schola Progenium: IN THE WALLS!!!
Face IN the walls
22:45 "Commisar stole my kid, can't have shit in the Detroit Segmentum"
@@RabbiHerschel See yourself out. Nobody wants you here.
What did he even say?
@@randumderf9777 Something racist.
@@romanscum5678 unbelievable.
Commissar: Ah yes this boy will make an outstanding schola progenium student'
Parents: But isn't the schola progenium for orphans?
Commissar:(Raises bolt pistol) You would be correct.
Commissar: ah yes this boy will make an outstanding schola progenium student'
Kid: dies in fucking training
HEY THAT'S MY CHILDHOOD
Yes I'm dead. Don't question it.
I would not put it above them
Hello brother I'm on the wrong account so my joke doesn't work as well. I too have geko in my main account name.
Little Jimmy given a bold pistol and told to kill his best friend.
"By the emperor's will!" *Bang!* little Ricky's head explodes.
Timmy: "oh, WTF? I thought I was your best friend!"
...What if little Jimmy says the Emperor is his best friend?
@@LexYeen Then the comissars would oooh and awww and say "What a nice thing to say before you die, heretic." and kill him for wanting to harm the Emperor.
"I have been ordered to kill you, my best friend, to prove my loyalty to the Imperium."
"It is the Emperor's will, pull the trigger."
Timmy was just an exchange student from Krieg xD
“You are now!” *blows smoke off of the gun*
I can imagine a catachan kid being put in there and just ignoring everyone stealing food and laying traps for people he hates
Or by the one out of all the people in the imperium, somehow by tzeenches plans got a Keriegsman… now that’s a series if they team up with a catchachan will be unstoppable
@@akumaking1 teacher: as a reward you get to hunt down this disobedient wrench
A few hours later every student in that group is dead
Other teacher: Catachan?
Teacher: Catachan
@@akumaking1 I think more that the Kreigsman is so good they can’t do anything about it that it even scares the teachers. The two however will team up when things about to go down
@@polkaking237 the catachan going stealth while the Krieger unloads a heavy flamer or melta gun
@@polkaking237 thank you for this wonderful conversation
"I liked it better when the kids were in the walls..." - Bricky 2021
I reallly needed that because holy shit this episode was dark.
@@nervmeister JUST ANOTHER KID IN THE WALL!
"Mister, I'll make a mood-kindred out of you!" - every drill-abbot at some point.
*YOU'RE GOING IN THE WALL, BROTHER*
"Why are the bricks human shaped?" -Rogal Dorn.
CHOOSE WISELY BROTHER, THE WALL OR THE FLAMER BROTHER
You've got 15 seconds to drink your forget-me juice, or I'm taking your spine and breaking it like a slim Jim, brother
*Female Instructor:* You disobedient trash! You want to get up in these walls!?
*Horny Student:* (nods furiously) Yes!!
*Two Male Instructors:* (watching from a distance) Should we tell him?
Nah. Even if the probable "trauma" turns him gay, he still might have a bright future in the Ecclesiarchy. 😉
@@zoopdterdoobdter5743 ironically, he'd be least likely to engage in diddling
@@nyx7694 I _DID_ put 'trauma' in quotes. 🤭
@@zoopdterdoobdter5743 what is Ecclesiarchy?
@@amarjo351 the Religion dudes
The Catachan Commissars: "Macho Man" Randolf Savage and Hurk Hoganicus.
Tempestous Scion Commander Johnlos Cenatica
@@brosephnoonan223 his is a "big toy soldier" idn't he???
@@RabbiHerschel
Yes! He did. However, as a former member of the retinue of Rogue Trader Vincent Macmanus it's difficult to tell if his opinions are his own or simply a strategic act of disinfornation to appease the xenos ego and further trade in-roads for other traders (and himself by extension).
Dont get me wrong, relying on such misersble star-slime for trade and production so heavily is a recepe for misforune. They are quite literally INHUMAN, they dont share our values for human life, our moral ethics, and its a WELL established fact the Tau specifically ONLY trade as a means of creating their OWN subversive inroads to whatever planet theyre trading WITH.
Theres a reason so many treasonous lords are also caught taking part in inhuman deviancies most profane.
I digress though. My point is, Cenatica hasnt been a true soldier in a very long time, and it's rumored he's after a Trade Warrant of his own? It doesnt _at all_ excuse his traitorous diatribes, effectively betraying human decency for a profit. But I dont think he genuinely supports theur government.
He's likely just a miserable, greedy has-been in dire need of fast and meaty pay day,.
Seeing as we are turning wrestlers into 40k characters, I must say that the voices in the head of one Randall Ortanius which "Cousel him" and "show him things he'll do to you" sound pretty Chaos-y, don't you think. I also suspect that an Astartes who goes by the wall-name Big Show is an Alpha Legionnaire what with the amount of traitor/loyalist turns he is documented to have pulled of. (Seriously check out the lyrics to "Voices" by Jim Johnston if it isn't a textbook example of a chaos cultists thought, I don't know what is)
@@MediocrisUrsus well spotted!
Oh hey, don't forget that not all Sororitas go to the Battle Sisters. Some get to do fun things like join the Order Famulus where they are sent off to be nannies/concubines/both to people like Planetary Governors while also gently nudging their decision making to be more advantageous to the Ecclesiarchy. Don't get me wrong, they may look after the kids but they are also said kids bodyguards who could snap your neck in 17 different ways if you so much as look at them wrong.
The Not!Benne Geserit.
The Famulus are still considered part of the Adepta Sororitas. Some female recruits are also trained as commissars or scions, or as military officers or civic administrators. I’d wager most female recruits are still sent to the Adepta Sororitas, though.
Thank God robbie g banned the famulus when he returned recently.
Benne Geserit
@yossarian Not many people from the Scholam Progenium end up in the Administratum because the education they receive is almost entirely aimed at preparing them for a military career.
The image of Kurze leading an army of psychopathic children to invade the Schola Progenium is now forever branded in my mind. Thank you.
Welcome to class. My name is Professor Alpharius.
Slaanesh takes over a school and forces a grimdark high school musical to take place. Make it happen lads
We don't need highschool musical 40k
@@deamonmindgaming2054 we absolutely need it
But aren’t they minors
@@deamonmindgaming2054 LIES
BDSM highschool musical 40k, where the kids are turned into instruments, the story of the doomed love between the head cheerleader and Scrumball captain now fleshcrafted into a crying tuba and a screaming trompone.
Upper middle class high schoolers:
“I GO TO LITERALLY THE WORST SCHOOL EVER!!”
Literally the worst school ever:
“Welcome to The Schola Progenium.”
Shame, it was very good 9,037 years ago.
You can get laid with a Sororitas student at least. Both Ciaphas Cain and Gregor Eisenhorn lost their virginity at their days as Scholia students.
As an individual who’s last name is “Scola,” this video… hits different.
Tiger bomb scola is one hell of a name.
bro that's the coolest name
Right after bricky mentioned the abots breaking people's spines, I got an add for car accident injury recovery! XD
Sir! We wish to talk to you about extending your car warranty.
I got an add for craft mac and cheese, which given the happy children on display was actually very disturbing to watch.
I seem to remember from the Cain novels that good ol' Ciaphas sometimes snuck out to try and have a bit of a tumble with the Sororitas prospects in his formative years, and they even had a scrumball (AKA space rugby, from what obscure references I gathered) team in his Schola... So hey, not 100% grimdark terribleness after all.
I believe the main part they were taking about that is hell on earth all happens before selection day. Once you’re down the tract you’ve been selected to follow it becomes a lot more chill and more akin to a prep school/university than anime death school.
That series was always light on the Imperium's grimdark. They even mention there is a professional sports league. Because athletic people have time for sports apparently.
Just the average cultural drift in the Imperium, Ciaphases Space Englands has stuff like Tv Shows, tabloid press, sports and horror movies. I guess they lie next to an area where Corpse starch rations and the euthanasia of underperforming manufactoria workers are the norm
IIRC the Cain novel that has him retired and teaching at the Schola mentions that criminals are shipped in and used as target practice for the trainees, so it’s still pretty grim dark.
@@starwarsnerd100 considering options for criminals in 40k, I'd say that counts as a "light sentence". Sure beats torture and getting turned into a servitor or penal legions...
Drill Abbot:It’s 2am time for your forget-me juice!
10yr old child: Who are you???
Drill Abot [washing his junk in the sink]: I was never here.
@@zoopdterdoobdter5743 damn space catholics
*"Jub jub wants my rub rub."*
_-The God-Emperor of Man_
That quote caught me off guard.
Man emperor
Someone contact Alfa, I need this spoken in TTS!
Love how this podcast
1. Does some subjects i don’t look into
2. Very enjoyable
3. I think is generally factually correct
"...Actually!"
This is a good place to get a feel for what's going on but I think at times some details are a little cloudy, but that ain't bad
I agree but it is fun and most of the time is right I do wish there were more details but it’s a good 40k podcast with in my opinion tho it is the most enjoyable podcast for 40k
High level details are usually correct. But he's reading from the wiki half the time...
Only generally factually correct if looking at surface level stuff, and even then it's iffy.
I actually had a Drill Sergeant that was a 40k fan who used to constantly give me shit because I'm an Ork/Imperial Guard fan and he was a Space Wolves fan. Good times
How'd you find out??
"This is how legends are made"
Legends = psychopathic tools of
oppression and war operating outside the normal chain of command.
Good ol’ 40k
"everything looks normal to me"
All I'm seeing is Legends = Legends.
Yeah but like, everyone else is too so liiiike
correct
The first thing I thought of when he said tempestest scion was “The cold hard ground is cover enough for the tempestest scions”
EXACTLY!!
Tanky innit?
"The orphans were sold as slaves. The attractive ones were sold as concubines."
This is the *fun* episode?
Welcome to 40K bitch.
@Roast Beef slaanesh does love it when you do get someone's consent for depravity though.
Yes
So what about the SOB?
@@MCPANDA44 Really?
Ah, the Schola or as a certain Aussy calls it
"The high school anime of 40K"
The good old XXTH
Simpkin graduate
Why tho?
There are three things that I wake up before noon for.
1. Work
2. Ass
3. Adeptice ridiculous
and i'm all outta ass-work
wait
I shall milk the words you've uttered as if it were please from the emperor himself
1. Work
2. Ass
3. Adeptice Ridiculous
4. Game of Kill Team
5. Have a meal
Or, for short, WAAGH
You wipe your ass?
@@sonicsucks20 you say that like you don’t...
Bricky projecting his love for dark elf and tau wifus is coming along nicely. He may try to hide it, but the weeb in him is strong.
Strong and immensely delusional.
Pax Romana means Roman Peace, and was a period of about 200 years where the Roman Empire had bountiful growth and peace. I reckon Pax Imperial/Imperialis/Imperium is Imperial Peace, or the idealized state of the Imperium.
From context it sounds like their equivalent of a Hail Mary
@@starwarsnerd100 yeah it is the imperium's version of a Hail Mary except there's an entire prayer and they have to recite it like a billion times
Except the Pax Romana was achieved via ruthless military conquest. Can't leave that out.
Hey, fun fact, i am currently playing a Warhammer 40k Pen and Paper game with a group and i actually wanted to do a flashback of the Sister of Battle in the group, where she remembers her youth and then we play a oneshot during her time in the Schola Progenium, actually with the secret love/b-movie-/anime-drama stuff with the drill abbot as the main enemy. So while writing the story up for that i noticed this episode and it's a godsent ...
Please tell me that someone was found sneaking by the drill Abbot and he says "I was just practicing my sneaking sadly it seems that you prove a greater challenge to me, _this_ day"
I need to know how this played out
@@AsterixCodixoh boy where do I even start xD we recently ended the campaign after 5 years with the players killing a Lord of Change and in this final battle, said Sister died and ascended to be a minor saint. So suffice to say, a lot happened since then
The oneshot itself worked out quite well ^^ a fairly typical coming of age story between a colorful cast of characters (very untypical for 40k, I know) with a bit of love drama that could only really end in one way: grimdark. Oh and of course the arts teacher tried summoning a daemon in the Schola
Dk is as subtle as a Bloodthirster of Khorne
In a Adeptis Sororitas infirmary while all of them are on their menstrual cycles....
Hey, a bloodthirster has a lot of subtly when he wants to. Sometime’s he swings from the left, sometime’s he swings from the right. You can never tell.
@@cryamistellimek9184 Dey are jus like gork an' mork, both demons uv khorne an' mork are very gud at be'n kunningly brutal
Well that is definitely a good source of iron.
A bloodthrister of khorne is gonna eat you out like ice cream sandwiches when your red rage begins -leman russ
@@firefang600 " That is the worst possible thing you could have said. Thank you. "
"They don't want to waste good talent" 10 minutes earlier "live fire exercise with a 70% mortality rate" 1 minute earlier "as part of commissar training they have to kill the another commissar in training" I think not.
Edit: a few minutes later "a battle royal where only one or two individuals live"
Edit 2: as far as 40k lore goes I don't care for all the ridiculous trials be it Grey Knight, Astartes or the Scholar.
Administratum Adept: Man, we need more Guardsmen to fight Chaos and Xenos. Where can we find them?
Other Adept: Have we considered not murdering half of our elites in training?
@@PhilosophicallyAmerican Admin: If you a better way to prepare guardsmen for the horrors of the Galaxy while being blindingly obedient, I'd like to hear it.....*loads bolt pistol*
@@PhilosophicallyAmerican then how are they supposed to learn how to shoot cowardly guardsmen who run away?
@@PhilosophicallyAmerican But if they did that it wouldn't be as grimdark, and therefore it'd stop being 40k :O
@@juandougnac8826 I think you can do grimdark without being nonsensical. Just load the "best-friend-killing bolter" with blanks. If they don't pull the trigger, the real one comes out.
Ah the Schola Progenium, I remember those times. I also remember being scared shitless by the drill abbot.
I thought they taught you better than to state the obvious there, Commissar.
desert
A Commissar of your nature is very interesting. You may just make an excellent addition to my gallery...
@@trazyntheinfinitearchivist7866 OH GOD N-
Shy's slideshow is where the real comedy is.
You can exactly point where the fact that Shy is a Ravens fan becomes apparent
In his latest video about th Alpha Legion, MajorKill made some hints to a collaboration. Make it happen!
Oculus Imperia is cool as well! :D
baldemort is a good one too
thatd be cool, still wanting that luetin collab first tho
I could get behind a Baldermort or a Luetin collab, I would be skipping out on MajorKill.
memes I was expecting: highschool anime memes
memes I was NOT expecting: Hulk Hogen.
Exactly
I know that the thumbnail art is supposed to showcase examples of where schola grads could go but it gave me the idea where a group of schola cadets bond together before graduating and going their separate ways. They each live their own lives before being reunited when they are handpicked to join an Inquisitor's retinue. Now they get to work together like the old days in the Schola.
Say it with me now: Celestine Declassified: Schola Survival Guide
Seriously imagine a Schola show with the students pulling wacky pranks on their teachers like putting tacks on their chairs, bees in their desk, and then the students get shot because of it. Timmy get shoved in his locker then the other students forgot about him and he’s just dead.
The teacher gets Timmy out of the locker and then has him hunted for sport for being a liability
With live action cartoonish violence as in the Deadpool films.
*DK get mixed up and think the tyranids was eating Guardsmen*
How dare you . Tempestus Scions is chad Guardsmen -Bricky , the tyranids episode .
Didn't he think it was a scout spacemarine?
@@brianvanmaanen1897 I don't think it was scout spacemarine . because Bricky did point out it was Tempestus Scions . if i remember . the model had a beret . but i am not knowledgeable in term of 40k lore (more of surface level enjoyer) , so i don't really know .
He thought it was an ultramarine not a guardsman cause blue
@@CoolSs no it was a tempestus scion
Welcome to the 40k anime: Each season has 200 main protagonists, because none of them live for more than 5 minutes
The screaming gallery a hallway made out of screaming faces which is inside a fortress made out of people.
"There's not 40 books, I'm being hyperbolic"
*Me determined to read the Horus Heresy and just having finished Fulgrim crying in a corner*
Another week where Bricky the Coward refuses to correct his mistakes with a World Eaters episode.
Yo is your pfp the president from Metal Wolf Chaos? Dood that game is _fun_
Michael!!!!!!!
What was this mistake
Italian Word bearers and their religion.
@@lovebunny2652 Damn right!
You guys (and gal) make a lot of references to Emperor Text-to-Speech. What do you think about doing a collaboration with Bruva Alfabusa, or maybe StringStorm? That would be just fucking epic
Or what about working with other 40K community people, animators, youtubers, etc like SODAZ, the dude who made Astartes, Rimmy Downunder, gLuetin, etc?
I love TTS but after reading Promethean Sun and *VULKAN LIVES!* I hate there depiction of Vulkan. It's hilarious and funny, and the Ghost of Ferrus Manus is a big part of Vulkan Lives book. But TTS never mentions how dark Vulkans character went through in these two books. What Curze done to him and his fight with the Eldar. Bricky knows because he referenced the infamous scene where Curze was trying to prove Vulkan was a monster like him and ended up creating a scenario where the Night Lords massacred humans, and Vulkan burnt an Eldar child alive to his trauma and regret.
Would love a colab and DK to watch it but after the Vulkan/Salamander episode pls. We gotta see that other side of Vulkan before we appreciate. *THE BIG WAAAAGH POSSESED VULKAN YAH FLASHY GIT!*
Or make an appearance on another exciting episode of WARHAMS!!!
:(
The way the adeptus scholar organisation sounds, they must already be tainted by chaos
There is a real argument to be made that the Emperor became the fifth Chaos god. So, appropriate.
@@Bluecho4 He's Khorne. (It's not canon but he's obviously Khorne)
@@lazyc0mmander277 Death, not War. "Die for the Emperor so you'll be by his side."
@@lonewanderer1328 ...You do realise death is what happens a whole lot during a war right? Heck the whole Empire is for fighting and endless war for absolute purity. Did you mean conflict instead of war because that would make more sense. Even then, considering Khorne seems to only like war because of the deaths that happen...
@@lazyc0mmander277 Sacrifcial death. Not blood and skulls like Khorne. Not wonton massacre or meaningless carnage. One of Khorne's greatest champions, Azariah Kyras, described the blood shed as meaningless blood shed for it's own sake.
You showed sexy callidus assassins in leather. That’s an automatic like.
"They just take kids with potential" is also how the Jedi did things, funny enough. There's a line from a book that's like the guidelines for the Jedi and it says "The presence of the force in the child is the child's consent to be taken".
Anyways, great episode but I'm really getting burnt out on Imperium stuff after a 5-episode-long series on the fall of cadia. How about some more Xenos stuff for a while? Genestealer Cults, Harlequins, Craftworlds (I'm pretty sure you haven't actually done craftworlds and their whole thing, right?), Ynnari (which really should come after Craftworlds and harlequins).
I mean Jedi weren't known to murder the parents who objected though. Seems more like a sith thing.
How odd. I remember it being the case that Jedi wouldn't take a child unless the parents agreed.
Now Sith, on the other hand...
Cain educates Krieg Guardsmen on the benefits of running away 🏃♂️
Caiphis Cain?
@@savathunthejudge914 HERO OF THE IMPERIUM!
Running away? What kind of heresy is this!?
@@giuseppe9653 he means moving to a better position, he says it like that, just to fuck around Whit the chaos folks
These guys make the Spartan 2 program from Halo look like saints in comparison XD
Oh god, that ending.
I couldn't breathe for a moment.
Neat, time to do absolutely nothing for 60 minutes, forget, go play a game, then come back after half an hour to see the premiere is almost done.
The emperor probably sitting on throne like "wtf is this school doing?"
30:38 Probably a lot of kiddie diddling, but, occasionally, what _literally every_ highschool depicted in anime *needs.*
I think big E would not find too many issues with the trials themselves. After all he did not object to the same practices for the Astartes. However I think he would find issues in the many instances where training requires to expressly kill other functioning recruits. Because shooting a dissident on a Wednesday is fun but having 2 functional fully trained commissars and bowing one off to certify the other is literally wasting training and resources. Most recruits even those that fail would still make exceptional administrators of imperial guard soldiers, so i think the emperor would at least advised for bruising but not killing.
Guilliman is probably contemplating giving it a complete overhaul once he's done putting out all the current fires in the galaxy
@@zoopdterdoobdter5743 a bunch of students killing/fukin each other?
-shut up Alexei you gonna get us all killed!
I find it hilarious that the posters they’re selling are just badass-waifu pinups despite Bricky’s discomfort towards all things anime .
Also now I want to see hulk hogans face photoshopped onto an Astartes shouting “BROTHERRRRRRRRRR!”
Pink Floyd wrote their song The wall after escaping Scola Progenium.
Another kid in the wall indeed.
The fact that imperial navy officers are one part children of naval officers, direct commission nobles, and schola kids with a tiny sprinkling of upjumped rankers has to make the sub lieutenant / ensign berths on naval ships interesting. You got the guy whose dad is in charge of the north aft port marcro canons, the seventh son of spire baron, the traumatized brainwashed guy and the guy in his early 30s who got a field commission for yelling the correct things at his shipmates during a fire.
Just coming in to say thank you guys for making the lore feel so much more accessible, while giving enough info to not just be memes .
I just got into WH40k LAST WEEK, and I can't wait to start painting minis someday
bro the night lords part is amazing
great now every time i hear a space marine say "brother" it will be with the voice of hulk hogan
It wasn't before?
They’ve got your back” is so much better with the context
Last Time I was this early, Magnus did turly nothing wrong
His dad sucks dude, have you ever met him?
@@mashlinmumph9958 eh, he's a good person if you're wearing gold.
Ah yes before magnus was born.
Magnus killed Malcador so he is guilty of everything
Well kitten has his soul
So, I'm going through the backlog and I listen to this show to fall asleep
... My dreams started getting REALLY WEIRD near the end of this one haha
I love how the Night Lords and the Schola Progenium both appreciate the aesthetic of cementing live humans into a wall.
I love Drill Abbot Hulk Hogan is amazing and it deserves to be merch and an animation.
There are a few things I look forward to every week: Saturdays for D&D night, Fridays because end of the work week, and now Wednesdays because of the new Adeptus Ridiculous episode!
22:30
Commissar-“I’m taking this child to the Schola Progenium”
Parents- “Wait isn’t that school exclusively for orphans?”
Commissar- “Yes” *grabs bolter*
Wait, if they produce officers for the navy, wouldn’t they also for the army?
Also, not everyone is sacrificed to the emperor or becomes an inquisitor. Generally only those too weak, insane, lacking in control over their abilities, or other things that make them useless liabilities are sacrificed.
They can also become astropaths, battle psykers for the guard, and recruits for space marines librarians and grey knights.
You guys should probably do one on psykers and psyker training at some point.
Probably but i imagine that being a naval officer if 40k is probably more involved and needing someone whose been through a higher degree of specialization vs the army where a Scola kid headed that way is probably just going to be trained as a Commisar
@@cjstanky good point.
Super stoked for the First and Only book club
As soon as I heard DK name drop Iron Sheik AND finished off with a “Too Sweet!” I knew for certain he was a legit wrestling fan. There’s a weird but interesting overlap between 40K and Wrestling fans and I dig it
The Ciaphas Cain books offer a decent look at the schola progenium. In almost ever book there usually an inner monologue where he mentions part of his time in one particularly when his regiment meets up with the Talarins and an old commissar "friend" of his brings up memories. And one of the last books he is a teacher in a smaller schola specifically for commissarial cadets. So we get a decent look at them though through the kinder if more scared eyes of Cain.
Ah yes, the Schola Progenium, the anime high school of 40k.
I'd love to read a story about someone growing up in the Scholar Progenium. It would probably be awesome.
YES! Would be a HELL of a read!
A re-write of 'Tom Brown's School Days '. It's the ancestor of most boarding school narratives. You'd not even need to increase the abuse much to fit it to the Imperium.
Cain: Schola Years
I would love to see how the Emperor would reacts to this place in TTS.
God damn, i was in tears at the end with the hulk hogan and macho man impressions hahahaha
"All Sisters Shall Go To School Barefoot!"
>The galaxy erupts in labored mouth-breathing. 😬
I assure you it is the emperors will
I remember seeing a commissar enter and ask us what usually do to destress from all the training and we responded scrabble. one guy then asked what he does to destress and the commissar just shot him
1:50 Brikky, DK is about as subtle as a, well, a brick.
I'll see myself out.
What part of 40k is subtle? Even their assassins are over the top
17:15
Glad to see that Shy is aware of this lovely anime.
I remember during middle school I was able to read a book within a day. The first book I did this with was Resident Evil lmao.
28:39
"impudence" is the word you're looking for.
Macho Man is just Skarbrand's Mortal disguise change my mind.
*Slice* of life high school episode. Nice boat. I see what you did there.
This one was pure GOLD BROTHER!!!! Uuuuuh Yeaaaaaaa!
Majorkill mentioned in his alpharius video about wanting to do a joint episode on the alpha legion with you guys adeptus ridiculous. Definitely have to set this up!!!
Friendly reminder that Ciaphas Cain had to ventilate a schoolmate's skull, probably one of his scrumball mates, to get his fancy hat.
I am genuinely angry that my notifications didn’t tell me that you’d made another podcast. Weird, apparently it unsubscribed me.
Finally started collected. I'm working on an indomitus box and both the space marine and necrons combat patrols. Super fun and i can't believe it took me so long to get into miniatures. I always save these podcasts for when I'm building/collecting. Thanks for the content and finally getting me to build/paint!!!! Keep up the great content!!!!
Of all the ways this could've ended, multiple minutes of Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage impressions wasn't what I expected
anime highschool if run by the goblins from goblin slayer is a good one
Where every character from every anime with a highschool arc should be sent...
This is where Warhammer 40k goes from absurdism parody to “whatever, edge lord”
"Parody"
GW doesnt treat it like a parody, that undertone went out the window a very long time ago.
It's not Halo, bud. The 8 year olds of 40k aren't gonna be ready for the horrors of the galaxy by being taught Greek history.
@@LtSprinkulz Given the obscene amount chaos must be fed by some of this. I think Greek history would do them good. For that matter, a thorough education about their enemies would probably both reduce casualties, and increase enemy losses.
Ahhh, that is what shy meant on twitter about the Hulkster. I love it.
I would really like to see you do a short episode on Rylanor the ancient and the massive dunk he did on fulgrim, i know its like a very short story but i think it would be fun especially since D likes his thousand sons
The Macho Man jokes by the end have me in TEARS
Probably the first time I've actually _watched_ this Podcast. Kudos to Shy for on-point meme selections!
"Care is coming at muzzle velocity" is a banger of a quote. I want that on a t-shirt if it's an AR original... or if it isn't.
"You dont know gow to properly reload a rifle in 2 seconds at the age of 10?" meanwhile Cadians are fielddstripping lasguns at age 6
Man, they really took “another brick in the wall” to heart…
Man I wish being in Army Cadets as a kid was like this!!
*Masochist*