👌More videos can be found on this topic at ua-cam.com/play/PLcB3trehXswjN2zcpIhN-HNNlLBlPlYoE.html&si=WqecsyRyerwnWfwb ❤️Self help activities and worksheets and concierge coaching with Dr. Snipes can be accessed at DocSnipes.com 👍Online Courses for Continuing Education (CEU, OPD, CPD) and Substance Abuse Counselor Certification
Not my monkeys! Needed that laugh. Breaking past dependence to becoming overly cautious and having to work at healthy tolerance and compromise. This is still essential reminders. Thank you.
I failed to meet obligations to my self because I was taking care of my father's "feelings". First of all no one taught me how to do things for my self emotionally (like a real mother does), and not one person encouraged me to go for things that would meet my needs outside of me. I was always supposed to get my needs met in collaboration with others where others fell down on the job of both knowing and actually giving me what I needed. I think this was done purposely and I should not be ashamed of doing so much failure in regards to my needs. You teach me not to overjudge myself in another video that I just viewed and I am grateful for!
You’re so welcome. I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most useful from it? Other videos you might be interested in can be found at ua-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=codependency
Job insecurity and lacking sense of safety in caregiving occupations can lend to unhealthy overreaching responsibility of a patient's or client's wellbeing and outcome. How does a professional caregiver reconcile the fear of perceived lacking bedside manner or lacking team dynamics with the need to stay healthy and sane on the job? There is so much systemic and cultural exploitation in the noble cause of caregiving, it is very difficult to balance self preservation with being a self sacrificing team member with a skeleton crew. Codependency truly is unsustainable in the long run in its toxicity.
Dear Doc. My mother was 41 when she had me. I was traumatized by 5 yrs old. She did forgetful and mean things to me. Always at a birthday or holiday. Would forget me at the grocery store. Would give me a Christmas gifts meant for my brother, or steal my gift back and pretend that I lost it. , and then charge me for gifts with interest. Take me three states away and dump me off and then never speak to me.. She left for two months every winter starting when I was ten. She was always gone over my birthday and somehow I was expected to take the abuse and if I did complain that I had needs then I was again called crazy and mentally ill.The endless Manipulation led me to live in her home until I was 5o only taking care of her, she using my guilt and shame and silence to control me. This is all true.
How are you now? Are you now in therapy and taking good care of yourself? I notice that the best healing that we can do is take extra good care of ourselves, live balanced and set healthy boundaries. Your story is relatable with mine except my relationship with my mother diminished drastically after my 30’s. I realize now that it’s tough on sick people to raise children especially alone as well. My mother raised 4 children basically alone. Many people just don’t have the capacity and that’s why I will give myself everything that I missed and more, I deserve the best and so do you. ❤️
I was the oldest child given adult responsibilities. Dad left when I was six, mom was schizophrenic and alcoholic. Dad was forced to take custody of us when I was 12. He directed all of his anger at me. I was blamed for everything wrong and had to quit all activities in high school to handle responsibilities at home. I was a good kid, honor student but was not seen for who I was. My Dad recently passed and I’ve come to realize the siblings want to use me as their punching bag also. It’s actually been going on for most of my life but it’s been a very painful awakening. Do you cover what happens to adult siblings when one is put in a parental role? They seem to hate me now.
Thank you for sharing. I am sorry that happened to you and I appreciate you watching. I have done a video on parentification, that might help: ua-cam.com/video/sp2Jaex14Ls/v-deo.html
Dr. Snipes, thank you so much for your channel. I really admire you and wish I had a woman like you in my life. I've pretty much been an orphan my whole adult life with two unavailable parents. One left when I was five and showed back up once I was an adult, well, sort of did. The other was often yelling and screaming during my growing up years. They don't call and so I decided yrs ago that the phonelines go both ways and stopped with the one-sidedness of all of that for the most part.
I appreciate you watching. If you’re interested in codependency, you can find other videos on it at: ua-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=codependency
So welcome. I appreciate you watching. If you’re interested in codependency, you can find other videos on it at: ua-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=codependency
Thank you very much for this video ! I can understand my childhood better now . I am striving to have a closure on the relationship with my mother and father so that I can have healthy relationships with other people in my life.
Thank you so much. I am grateful to be of help and I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most useful from it? You can find videos on codependency at: ua-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=codependency
I was married to a codependent for 16 yrs. After I got out of it I realized there was, in effect, a Munchausen by proxy aspect of it in which my ex needed me to be her sick parent in order to care take. That was ultimately the biggest boundary crossing there was. Like literally my identity. Turns out she hadn't individuated and thought of everything in terms of her mother.
I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching the video. Other videos you might be interested in can be found at ua-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=codependency
I've understood co-dependence to be a person who is CO-operating with another's Dependence. Something like being a participant in their dependency, whether it's on a substance, a habit, avoidance, emotional immaturity, etc. This is paraphrased from how I understood Melanie Beattys explanation. What are your thoughts on this?
What if the codependent person percieves the other to be dysfunctional when perhaps they are just being themselves. And a tone of voice or innocent action is perceived as a slight. Is there a point where the codependent needs to reevaluate what they think is dysfuctional
What about codependents that used to be in securely attached relationships but spent four years in a romantic relationship with an anxious avoidant partner (which ended very recently & I feel like I’m dying)? I don’t drink or do drugs and my parents didn’t either but My parents were extremely physically violent and I ran away from home when I was 17, thought I had healed from that but somehow 15 to 20 years later, this relationship has brought out the worst parts of codependency out of me, to the point I feel like I’ve lost myself entirely and have very little will not motivation to go on, I can’t see a future or come up with a plan for one. My brain is too fogged with sadness to do anything other than constantly think about begging my partner to come back. My mental state feels so broken, more so my heart feels shattered..... and no, I’ve never ever dated anybody that has ever been physically abusive to me. That’s a hard no, after my terribly physically violent childhood.
I'm not sure if I'm codependent or not. I never thought I was because I don't seek out people who need help but if I know someone needs help and if I got the resources to help them then I will, even if it's a total stranger. I've been doing that my whole life and I keep on doing it even though It's never paid off. Nobody gives a fat rat's ass about helping me . I haven't had running water in 3 1/2 years. I need to have a fairly major surgery and I seen a doctor but he refused to do it because of my living conditions. He said I'd be in some pain for a while and would need someone to look in on me from time to time and help me with cooking, etc. And there's a homeless shelter like a few blocks from my house. And on their internet home page the shelter is ran by Christians that believe in the biblical teachings of jesus, and how much they love and care about everyone and how they can't wait to help. So I emailed him and told him my situation and asked for a bit of help and he got right back and was like omg we don't do anything like that, we aren't doctors and can't do medical stuff. So I emailed him and said I wasn't asking for medical help and all I needed was someone to poke their head in my door every couple days and throw a bologna sandwich and bottle water on my bed every couple days. Of course he never responded. I'm not sure what happened to him, I'm guessing he took a loaf of bread and went out to feed 5000 people
Bless You. I also have another UA-cam Channel: Good Orderly Direction | Practical Bible Study ua-cam.com/channels/YYJCD94NU3_qdbkSEyHLrg.html Please consider liking and subscribing.
This kind of thing is better done on the grassroots level imo. I should see if someone near me needs this kind of simple help, but I don't know how I'd find them. Organizations rarely do the simple things ime.
Check into Stephen's Ministry, friend. They train lay people to become Stephen's ministers to just go an be company for people, to do some caregiving, all kinds of things.
I can really relate to you. I dont go out to seek people to help usually, and would do anything for anyone, too much so probably. But, I wonder what would happen to me if something happened to me, ya know. God bless. Praying for u
@@DocSnipesWish I could give you a foot massage so much and kiss your beautiful feet 😍. Wish I could hold you in my arms. Please forgive me. I guess that I am going to chase you away. My heart aches for you 💔. Hope to hear from you again. You are so very special and beautiful. Thanks
@DocSnipes I apologize dear 😢. Guess you aren't interested in talking to me. Can't blame you. I'm not much to have Sweetheart. Take care. Have a great weekend
👌More videos can be found on this topic at
ua-cam.com/play/PLcB3trehXswjN2zcpIhN-HNNlLBlPlYoE.html&si=WqecsyRyerwnWfwb
❤️Self help activities and worksheets and concierge coaching with Dr. Snipes can be accessed at DocSnipes.com
👍Online Courses for Continuing Education (CEU, OPD, CPD) and Substance Abuse Counselor Certification
You're so good at breaking down and getting to the breath and depth of topics. Thank you
Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
Thanks & good job. I struggle with this. I'm healing, but it's hard.
Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
Thank you Doc Snipes for explaining codependency and its difference between caregiving. Great presentation
Thanks for watching.
Not my monkeys! Needed that laugh. Breaking past dependence to becoming overly cautious and having to work at healthy tolerance and compromise. This is still essential reminders. Thank you.
So welcome! I appreciate you watching
I failed to meet obligations to my self because I was taking care of my father's "feelings". First of all no one taught me how to do things for my self emotionally (like a real mother does), and not one person encouraged me to go for things that would meet my needs outside of me. I was always supposed to get my needs met in collaboration with others where others fell down on the job of both knowing and actually giving me what I needed. I think this was done purposely and I should not be ashamed of doing so much failure in regards to my needs. You teach me not to overjudge myself in another video that I just viewed and I am grateful for!
I’m healing yet the damages are constant.
It’s constant work of awareness.
Thanks for watching.
I'd love to see a video from you on the dependent person's experience
Thanks!
You’re so welcome. I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most useful from it? Other videos you might be interested in can be found at ua-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=codependency
Other videos I have done on Co-Dependency ua-cam.com/users/results?search_query=docsnipes+codependency
Job insecurity and lacking sense of safety in caregiving occupations can lend to unhealthy overreaching responsibility of a patient's or client's wellbeing and outcome. How does a professional caregiver reconcile the fear of perceived lacking bedside manner or lacking team dynamics with the need to stay healthy and sane on the job? There is so much systemic and cultural exploitation in the noble cause of caregiving, it is very difficult to balance self preservation with being a self sacrificing team member with a skeleton crew. Codependency truly is unsustainable in the long run in its toxicity.
Thank you for doing such important work. I'm sorry that your situation is so difficult.
Dear Doc. My mother was 41 when she had me. I was traumatized by 5 yrs old. She did forgetful and mean things to me. Always at a birthday or holiday. Would forget me at the grocery store. Would give me a Christmas gifts meant for my brother, or steal my gift back and pretend that I lost it. , and then charge me for gifts with interest. Take me three states away and dump me off and then never speak to me.. She left for two months every winter starting when I was ten. She was always gone over my birthday and somehow I was expected to take the abuse and if I did complain that I had needs then I was again called crazy and mentally ill.The endless Manipulation led me to live in her home until I was 5o only taking care of her, she using my guilt and shame and silence to control me. This is all true.
How are you now? Are you now in therapy and taking good care of yourself? I notice that the best healing that we can do is take extra good care of ourselves, live balanced and set healthy boundaries. Your story is relatable with mine except my relationship with my mother diminished drastically after my 30’s. I realize now that it’s tough on sick people to raise children especially alone as well. My mother raised 4 children basically alone. Many people just don’t have the capacity and that’s why I will give myself everything that I missed and more, I deserve the best and so do you. ❤️
I was the oldest child given adult responsibilities. Dad left when I was six, mom was schizophrenic and alcoholic. Dad was forced to take custody of us when I was 12. He directed all of his anger at me. I was blamed for everything wrong and had to quit all activities in high school to handle responsibilities at home. I was a good kid, honor student but was not seen for who I was. My Dad recently passed and I’ve come to realize the siblings want to use me as their punching bag also. It’s actually been going on for most of my life but it’s been a very painful awakening. Do you cover what happens to adult siblings when one is put in a parental role? They seem to hate me now.
Thank you for sharing. I am sorry that happened to you and I appreciate you watching. I have done a video on parentification, that might help: ua-cam.com/video/sp2Jaex14Ls/v-deo.html
@@DocSnipes thank you! I will check it out.
I can't imagine ever being able to "regulate" these emotions. They're simply too overwhelming.
Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
Thank you for bringing the point up about codependency in the workplace.
You are quite welcome. It is often minimized.
Dr. Snipes, thank you so much for your channel. I really admire you and wish I had a woman like you in my life. I've pretty much been an orphan my whole adult life with two unavailable parents. One left when I was five and showed back up once I was an adult, well, sort of did. The other was often yelling and screaming during my growing up years. They don't call and so I decided yrs ago that the phonelines go both ways and stopped with the one-sidedness of all of that for the most part.
I appreciate you watching. If you’re interested in codependency, you can find other videos on it at: ua-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=codependency
You’re fantastic at what you do here.🙏🏼
Thanks for watching.
Thank you so much. It was very informative and useful ❤
You’re so welcome. Thanks for watching
Absolutely love your dress & thanks another clear explanation ❤
So welcome. I appreciate you watching. If you’re interested in codependency, you can find other videos on it at: ua-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=codependency
Great video! Thank you 😊
Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
I wish you'd make a video about Relationship OCD
Yes!'
So true
Thanks for watching.
Oh and thank you so much for your content. Its very helpful ❤
Thanks for watching.
I never thought about codepency in the care giving field .. .
I love your channel!
Ty so much
Thank you very much for this video ! I can understand my childhood better now . I am striving to have a closure on the relationship with my mother and father so that I can have healthy relationships with other people in my life.
Thanks for watching.
This sounds interesting and thank you. Good boundaries and knowing when to seek other options will help to not become a co dependent care giver.🤔❤🇺🇸
Thanks for watching.
Ur great
Thank you so much. I am grateful to be of help and I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most useful from it? You can find videos on codependency at: ua-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=codependency
What if your parents weren't neglectful but actually overprotective and enmeshed? can it also be a cause for codependency?
I think so. Any behaviour that invades your boundaries leads to codependency.
I was married to a codependent for 16 yrs. After I got out of it I realized there was, in effect, a Munchausen by proxy aspect of it in which my ex needed me to be her sick parent in order to care take. That was ultimately the biggest boundary crossing there was. Like literally my identity. Turns out she hadn't individuated and thought of everything in terms of her mother.
I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching the video. Other videos you might be interested in can be found at ua-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=codependency
I've understood co-dependence to be a person who is CO-operating with another's Dependence. Something like being a participant in their dependency, whether it's on a substance, a habit, avoidance, emotional immaturity, etc. This is paraphrased from how I understood Melanie Beattys explanation. What are your thoughts on this?
What if the codependent person percieves the other to be dysfunctional when perhaps they are just being themselves. And a tone of voice or innocent action is perceived as a slight. Is there a point where the codependent needs to reevaluate what they think is dysfuctional
16:30 always made me wonder
Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
What about codependents that used to be in securely attached relationships but spent four years in a romantic relationship with an anxious avoidant partner (which ended very recently & I feel like I’m dying)? I don’t drink or do drugs and my parents didn’t either but My parents were extremely physically violent and I ran away from home when I was 17, thought I had healed from that but somehow 15 to 20 years later, this relationship has brought out the worst parts of codependency out of me, to the point I feel like I’ve lost myself entirely and have very little will not motivation to go on, I can’t see a future or come up with a plan for one. My brain is too fogged with sadness to do anything other than constantly think about begging my partner to come back. My mental state feels so broken, more so my heart feels shattered..... and no, I’ve never ever dated anybody that has ever been physically abusive to me. That’s a hard no, after my terribly physically violent childhood.
13:50 play that again!
Let that marinade for a minute…
Thanks for watching
👏🏻👏🏻😊⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Thanks for watching.
I'm not sure if I'm codependent or not. I never thought I was because I don't seek out people who need help but if I know someone needs help and if I got the resources to help them then I will, even if it's a total stranger. I've been doing that my whole life and I keep on doing it even though It's never paid off. Nobody gives a fat rat's ass about helping me . I haven't had running water in 3 1/2 years. I need to have a fairly major surgery and I seen a doctor but he refused to do it because of my living conditions. He said I'd be in some pain for a while and would need someone to look in on me from time to time and help me with cooking, etc. And there's a homeless shelter like a few blocks from my house. And on their internet home page the shelter is ran by Christians that believe in the biblical teachings of jesus, and how much they love and care about everyone and how they can't wait to help. So I emailed him and told him my situation and asked for a bit of help and he got right back and was like omg we don't do anything like that, we aren't doctors and can't do medical stuff. So I emailed him and said I wasn't asking for medical help and all I needed was someone to poke their head in my door every couple days and throw a bologna sandwich and bottle water on my bed every couple days. Of course he never responded. I'm not sure what happened to him, I'm guessing he took a loaf of bread and went out to feed 5000 people
Bless You.
I also have another UA-cam Channel:
Good Orderly Direction | Practical Bible Study
ua-cam.com/channels/YYJCD94NU3_qdbkSEyHLrg.html
Please consider liking and subscribing.
This kind of thing is better done on the grassroots level imo. I should see if someone near me needs this kind of simple help, but I don't know how I'd find them. Organizations rarely do the simple things ime.
God Bless you.
You are in my thoughts and prayers 🙏
Check into Stephen's Ministry, friend. They train lay people to become Stephen's ministers to just go an be company for people, to do some caregiving, all kinds of things.
I can really relate to you. I dont go out to seek people to help usually, and would do anything for anyone, too much so probably. But, I wonder what would happen to me if something happened to me, ya know. God bless. Praying for u
You are very beautiful my dear ❤️ ♥️ 😘 💕
Thank you. Thanks for watching the video
@DocSnipes thanks for replying to me my dear. Makes me feel special. What's your name dear? You are so very pretty 😍 💗
@DocSnipes I hope that I didn't offend you my dear ♥️. You are so very special and beautiful 😍 🤩
@@DocSnipesWish I could give you a foot massage so much and kiss your beautiful feet 😍. Wish I could hold you in my arms. Please forgive me. I guess that I am going to chase you away. My heart aches for you 💔. Hope to hear from you again. You are so very special and beautiful. Thanks
@DocSnipes I apologize dear 😢. Guess you aren't interested in talking to me. Can't blame you. I'm not much to have Sweetheart. Take care. Have a great weekend
If I am on a healing journey how does this help me to learn and grow healthier relationships?
One thing it’s teaching you is about what is toxic, not healthy. From there you explore.
Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
Or family that have those roles
Thanks for watching.