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The thing that saddens me a bit is that the popular girl has had surgeries on top of already being really beautiful, so it's not like she's exempt from the difficulties of the pressures of being "perfect" in the eyes of society.
both spectrums have their issues but I only really noticed them when i at one point was on both sides. growing up “unattractive” and then becoming “attractive” while still in school really shows you the shift in people’s attitudes towards you. it’s insane
Am i the only one who experienced the same but with reversed timelines? Like, growing up i was the pretty kid of the class till halfway through middle school as puberty was cruel to me making me end up as the ugly kid of the class( during my puberty years i got diagnosed with certain chronic illnesses that made me lose my hair, gain weight, took away my fair complexion and gave me pale corpse skin along with dark circles from wearing glasses which too again was a result of my eye sight worsening, a side effect of the illness). When i was pretty, school life was golden but during highschool it became hell. The guys i liked never reciprocated the feelings, i witnessed all of my other classmates turn into beautiful butterflies while i was slowly rotting away. I turned more invisible day by day.
It's normal (according to the biology) natural selection. Fat one looks unhealthy, that s why she's being rejected. Problem/bad genes = bad kids = no man are interested.
same goes for me too. I was always overweight since elementary school, i didn’t know when to stop eating cause you know i was 7-8 so i just kept on putting on weight. middle school was my lowest point. high school was like a middle ground for me i was neither ignored nor popular cause at high school i started losing weight but didn’t have the self confidence. when i started uni i got my hair dyed, got my self confidence and i was finally feeling attractive. I became popular, i have the most popular and attractive people as my best friends including upper classes. I think since i was bullied mostly in middle school now i don’t take it for granted. i see how people can act different towards you when you feel pretty, especially boys. I had uncountable boys talking to me last summer than my whole life. sometimes i still feel like some of them are too good or too handsome for me and they are out of my league but i try to shut down those thoughts. I went from the mindset of “i have to make people love me” to “i’ll see if i like people who try to come near me” and this changed my life. being confident and feeling beautiful in your own skin feels like heaven, my life flipped upside down but in a good way, which is unjustice. I feel sorry for young me, she felt horrible.
I wish the translations captured more of the nuances!!! at 10:45 yunjin says something more along the lines of "but where are there other people as cool as you?" or "but your coolness is one of a kind" rather than just "I respect you" and at 10:47, instead of "you're brave, which is an aspect that is hard to achieve" she says "you have an aura that can't even be bought with money, truly". I know it may not seem like a big deal, but I want non-Koreans to understand just how intentional and specific she was with her compliments. There are a few other instances of translations that miss the mark, but I specifically wanted to highlight these because I feel like a lot of meaning was missed.
I like how the the popular girl tells the girl with the glasses to stand up for herself and validates her feelings and how the girl with glasses is so honest and able to admit to her past views that were wrong about popular people, it was such a cute interaction between 2 young ladies , the way they both got angry for each other when hearing the others struggles was so cute
what sucks is that i'm not even ugly, nor pretty, just somewhere in the middle. not bullied, but also not treated very nicely, just ignored. as an introvert, it's so hard making friends because of it.
i’m also like that and i really enjoy being invisible. it’s like i can be a different person anywhere i go, i can act like different characters and people would always accepted it (because when u’r too attractive ppl will nitpick everything u do to find flaws). but being “average” people just don’t care that much, i can easily have normal conversations (even tho yes i’m still always awkward & introverted)
My heart breaks watching this because I could relate to Ji Ahn a lot. I was never bullied but always ignored. Guys won't even talk to me and girls think I'm not cool enough to hang out with them. I'm 24 and never made a friend and I realised(too late) that the people whom I thought were my 'friends'.. they were just taking advantage of me for their academics. And the worst part is that, my mother, sister and relatives were the ones who hurt me the most
Aww i'm sorry to hear that. I just wanna tell you that you're an amazing person and you're loved. don't be discouraged ..i hope you keep you head held high and move forward.i wish that you meet people/friends who like you for who you are. Have a good day dear.
I'm a clg students since I'm facing this I could really understand .I never made frnds &also they used to avoid me bcoz I'm fat in my second year higher secondary school. now in my clg I'm facing this kinda prblm like everyone talks and add frnds in social media to pretty girls & no one speaks with me
Shit that sucks, I'm 26 now a'd some of who I thought were my closest friends in high school didn't give a single shit about me once we were out of HS, then I made friends at uni, but again got backstabbed, it hurt Thankfully I have a few good friends who've been there for a while I hope you can make friends at uni/work or wherever, ones that truly appreciate you and your presence really
A close friend of mine can be categorised as a popular girl. We're in university and she's very well known by juniors and seniors. Guys approach her a lot and girls always ask her for her beauty tips. And I assumed she never had any problems making friends until she opened up to me one day. About how some girls would call her a "pick me" and that's because guys would always ask her out, it fueled the anger of other girls even more. I was surprised when she voiced her concern because it seemed like everyone adores her. What I'm trying to say is that this world is harsh to everyone. For as long as you breathe, you will never be liked by everyone.
Everyone have their own problems but you can't deny pretty privilege exists and that life is a whole lot better/different with it.. People nowdays are earning money because of their looks even. It has been that way for a long time.
@@AngledLines I never blamed the individuals. But its still kind of true that usually people who aren't physically attractive are the ones to get shunned or get the shorter end of the stick in various aspects of life. Which is something that's very apparent in Asian society like Korea. Usually kids that are 'ugly' get bullied and outcasted by those that are better looking. Those who meet the beauty standard? Sure they can be subjected to envy and gossips, but they still get praised and valued for their appearance. (btw people/individuals make up society if you didn't know that by now. Society is a human product and it goes the same other way around).
I was so impressed by the girl with glasses right after she started talking. Her tone, her words, and the way she describes her own life story is so calm and steady. She’s such an eloquent person and I deeply respect her mindset and attitude. Jiahn I want to tell you that you are a wonderful person and I believe you will become successful in anywhere. Wish you the best on your actress journey!
as someone on the "pretty girl" spectrum i always found it so hard to make deep connections with people because i always felt they treated me nicely but weren't sincere about it, it felt very shallow specially knowing that my "girl friends" talked behind my back that i should use makeup in secret, that i was a pick me and snobbish, because the boys they liked confessed to me.. and I'm a lesbian so that part was extra hard for me. i tried so hard to not be very feminine despite being kind of delicate and fem looking, especially when i was younger, i tried to make boys hate me by turning them down coldly so my friends would like me, it never worked so i started going out more with "guy friends" but at some point they'd confess to me and i would turn them down and they'd never look at me or talk to me again. it always felt lonely, as if people only talked to me out of their own interest, not because they actually liked me. also i got so paranoid about proving myself, because people would always say things are easy for me and that i received a better treatment because im "pretty" so even if i did accomplish something or did anything cool they would belittle my accomplishments as "pretty privilege". anyway, if anyone reads this, i hope you reflect and know that at the end of the day we are all struggling in our own ways. so really just be kind and don't waste your energy with people that aren't worth it, do what would make u proud of yourself always!!
Well said. Everybody needs that kind of heads up sometimes. And that part with guy friends really hurts. As a fellow lesbian, I think it must difficult to deal with guys that are attracted to you but you just aren't attracted to them. And then it feels like you are the problem or you have to apologize to them just because they asume you're straight. And then they ditch the friendship because it is useless now? Fake friends
ah as someone who got confessed to a lot but is also a lesbian did you also get told “what a waste” as a response when telling people? that always used to hurt me a lot :’)
As someone who "glowed up", I've come to find it hard to make genuine platonic friends with guys and to not secretly question their motives sometimes. When I was younger, I didn't really care about who was looking at me because I felt fairly average looking and invisible, but now I can totally relate to Yujin's point about purposefully avoiding spaces with too many men. I thought I would love getting stared at a lot, but now it's just creepy and instantly triggers my fight or flight response.
Love the pfp also 😂🙏🏻 But same thing here, I was bullied for my looks for 11 years, so most of my childhood. Nowadays I guess I'm better looking or something, but to me the hypocrisy pisses me off. If I dress more feminine and not in my usual style, men change their demeanor completely; suddenly they open doors, smile, offer help etc. - stuff they wouldn't normally do. I've pretty much come to the conclusion that if you don't act courteously to everyone around you, regardless of their looks, you aren't worth my time and not someone I want to spend time with.
@@licensetochill4992 I couldn’t agree more! Learned this lesson the hard way when classist people from school who used to treat me like shit for how I used to look suddenly started treating me nice and became so interested in me lmao. Fell for it and thought they were my friends, having no knowledge of the kind of stuff they used to say behind my back. Met them again recently, and older me could see right through the fake smiles and backhanded compliments. Also appreciate all the love my pfp is getting 😆💗
The experiences of popular and unpopular girls at school can vary significantly. Here are some general differences that may exist, although it's important to note that individual experiences can differ greatly: 1. Social interactions: Popular girls often have a larger social circle and may find it easier to make friends. They may receive more attention and positive feedback from peers, which can boost their self-esteem. Unpopular girls, on the other hand, may struggle with social interactions, finding it harder to fit in or make friends. They might face social isolation or bullying, which can have a negative impact on their self-confidence. 2. Peer acceptance: Popular girls generally receive more acceptance and validation from their peers, leading to a greater sense of belonging. They may be invited to social events, parties, or other gatherings, allowing them to participate in a wide range of activities. Unpopular girls, however, may feel excluded or left out, experiencing a sense of rejection or being marginalized by their peers. 3. Influence and leadership: Popular girls may have more influence within their social groups. Their opinions and choices might be more readily accepted and followed by others. They may also have opportunities to assume leadership positions, such as being elected as a class representative or involved in student organizations. Unpopular girls often have limited influence or recognition, which can make it harder for them to have their voices heard or make an impact. 4. Self-perception: Popular girls may develop a stronger sense of self-worth due to positive feedback and validation from others. They might feel more confident, attractive, and socially competent. Unpopular girls, on the other hand, may struggle with self-esteem issues and negative self-perception, often comparing themselves to their popular counterparts and feeling inadequate. 5. Academic performance: While popularity does not necessarily determine academic performance, popular girls might have more access to resources and support systems, as well as better connections with classmates and teachers, which can positively impact their education. Unpopular girls may face additional challenges in terms of academic motivation or lack of support, which could affect their performance. It's important to remember that these are general observations, and individual experiences can differ greatly within each group. Additionally, popularity can be subjective and may change over time as social dynamics evolve. Each person's experience is unique, and factors such as personality, interests, and personal circumstances also play a significant role in shaping their school experiences.
i also think it is important to note that beauty doesnt always mean popularity. there are some people who are very pretty but not popular because they dont know how to "act". It is honestly an art to get what you want out of a group of people. Moreover, I have a different experience with popularity. I am very popular with certain groups of people but ont with others. I think it is to do with language, interests and different academic backgrounds. Some of them respect me a lot and the others don't respect me at all!
It's sad because both of these people in these times, are both very heavily stereotyped. They both seem like such genuine and sweet people, and I hope that they're having a great time.
It's sad how Jiahn immediatly puts herself below Yujin. How she's happy to meet such a pretty girl, happy to receive a compliment from a pretty girl. I hope she can become someone who respects herself. Yujin does seem like a nice girl but I think she still doesn't really understand how lucky she is to have been born like that. How terrible is the human race to treat one person like an animal and another like a royal just based on their appearance. Especially Korea's society is honestly pitiful.
I felt this too. Yujin is genuinely nice, but she does have way more advantages for being pretty. I couldn't help but kind of cringe at the parts where Yujin would talk about receiving special service. Jiahn had mostly negative experiences in comparison and will definitely continue to have negative experiences due to Korean Society.
some people will shower her with compliments for her looks but they wouldn't say the same if she looked differently. what exactly does she gain? after all, all those compliments are of no worth
@@MonsterXfoxy Jiahn talks about more negative experiences, but Yujin talks about being physically sexually harassed and shows signs of PTSD from the events. Yujin probably hasn't even realized how shallow what people want from her is and when she does, people will brush her as being ungrateful or bragging. She can't keep girl friends, her guy friends are interested in her for reasons outside of friendship and while strangers treat her better, those eyes and hands can quickly become violent. This isn't a competition, and both their experiences are valid. TBH this isn't just in Korea and happens in the US as well. I went through a few up and down stages of being what was considered pretty and ugly in my environment, personally it's hard to compare the verbal and emotional abuse vs the sexual harassment and shallow relationships.
@@rita8274i get your point but i think the sexual assault and harassment thing isn’t just a conventionally pretty girl thing, it’s a girl thing in general. 1 in 3 women will experience it in their lifetimes
@@tyranny1679 Yes sexual assault and harassment isn't only a conventionally pretty girl thing, but from my own experience and the experience of a lot of people I know, it does happen even more often when you're conventionally pretty. People objectify you even more, even for general friendships they see you less as a person and more how they can benefit from you.
As someone who is apparently in the "not pretty" category and my friend being the popular girl, here's what I've noticed: Pretty people have a much easier time making friends. Even if she doesn't bother talking to them, they come everyday to talk to her. Whereas girls like me have to sacrifice a lot for friends to actually like them. Honestly people just use me for notes and academics. I've been openly commented upon by people calling me ugly to my face. And, people with actually good personalities are ignored and importance is given to the pretty girls. A lot of guys propose to her and they would come to me and talk about how she was perfect and incredible. The worst part is that I actually liked a few of them but they would talk like that. They would gift her flowers and chocolate boxes and even gold jewelry. She'd reject them, but accepts the gifts anyways. I try not to be jealous.. but it's not so easy.
i totally agree, pretty people don't even have to try and be sociable. everyone just walks up to them or initiates with them. it's so frustrating since i try so hard to socialize but people who are pretty can just stand there doing nothing and people will go out of their way to contact them.
@@redmoonrise6507 but its not the fault of the pretty girls dont be frustrated on them, its the society it gives too much importance to looks rather than the actual person
@@redmoonrise6507I don’t think the commenter was blaming pretty girls. It’s still annoying and frustrating. She has the right to feel that way. Life and society can be unfair and cruel but we have to learn to do what we can control, not what people think and their stupid misconceptions, biases, and prejudices. Cuz how people judge can’t be our problem it’s something they have to learn to overcome in their flawed mentality if they ever get to that point.
@@Thelostplanet789 Nah I'm just stating facts. Many people approaching you, but some of them are bad apples vs. never being approached by people usually unless they were coming to be rude to you. Also no one interested in getting to know you despite never meeting you before and generally being treated like trash by society. Yeah. It's not a both sides thing.
I would love to see a kdrama that has a bigger girl as the lead! Bigger girls are also beautiful and smart, full of personality! Having one as a lead and main character in a drama might take away the stigma of not being thin to be considered worthy in society.
@@roaxelieHonestly bigger people are not beautiful and Korea are a very lookist society so the prettier you are the more respect you will get. The beauty standard is looking like Irene from Red Velvet, Jisoo from Blackpink and Yoona from Girls Generation. You can see that people who don’t have features like them will often get bullied especially if you are overweight as well. It is not nice to bully, but overweight people should try to lose weight and being big is not healthy.
@@vixxexo6855 and being thin as a stick is the standard am i right? The girl was talking about people like you. You basically just tell bigger people to lost weight like that. What if they have some illness? What if they have ED? instead of ACTUALLY helping them you come up with "overweight people should try to lose weight". Bullshit fr..
추천 영상으로 떠서 봤는데 두 사람 각각 너무 올곧게 자란... 좋은 애들이다...ㅜㅜ 내 학창시절은 이도저도 아닌 편이었어서 그다지 내 경험과 연관지어지는 건 아니지만 스펙트럼의 양극단에 있다고 할 수 있는 아이들이 외부적인 noise만 없으면 이렇게나 잘 맞을 수 있고, (주로 외모에 관한) 선입견 하에서 손쉽게 카테고리화되는 게 아니라 개개인으로서 주목받을 때 이렇게 반짝거리는 면모들을 드러낼 수 있다는 사실을 보여준다는 게 참 좋다
It feels nice that they both understood each other's struggles. Both are such sweet girls. I love how the girl on the left got so excited everytime the other girl complimented her. ❤
unpopular does not mean bad, popularity has many factors such as speaking in public or to foreigners, easy to get along with foreigners, can adjust attitude to the atmosphere of the environment, and many other things that make a person popular in the environment around him
Nobody said the opposite but it is sad to not have friends especially for a teenage girl in highschool. I was like this for a year when i was 14 and it wasn’t fun at all.
High school was a very miserable time for me. I didn’t have many friends and for the few friends that I had, there were times in which we had conflicting schedules during school hours and so I would be by myself a lot. And ofc a few of them would talk badly about me behind my back. It was very easy for me to befriend male classmates but it came to a certain point in which I couldn’t be close to them either. Female classmates would slutshame me for talking to their crushes and they thought that I was stealing their crushes. So that caused even more isolation. One instance was when a female classmate took a picture of me sitting next to a male classmate and captioned it: “I feel so bad for him”. A few people who I thought were my friends laughed at it. On a positive note, a lot of people called her a bully and told her to take the post down. I ended up threatening to tell school administrators if she didn’t delete the post. She ended up apologizing and deleting the post but it still damaged me. I didn’t know what I did to offend her in the first place…I always complimented her on her outfit and makeup.
@babypearl I'm so sorry to hear that, this is really sad, I can't imagine the pain you have to go through that time and now. I hope you'll get better, and I'm pretty sure you're an amazing person. This girl was a horrible person, you're doing better?
@@kaenn9177 I graduated from high school 7 years ago. College was a fresh start for me. I was able to keep a couple of true friends from high school and made more friends in university. I realized that I wasn’t the problem. I don’t hate the girls that bullied me in high school. To my understanding, they projected their insecurities onto me. I hope they love themselves now.
@@Papalapotato Haha I guess so. I’m Asian American and went to a predominantly Asian American high school. It was tough making close friends in that time but I’ve been thriving for a long time now.
In high school, I always belonged to the popular group because I was considered "pretty" or attractive enough to be part of it. I had the best grades in my class, but no one ever bullied me because of that. I made some great friendships, some of which I still have to this day. I was actively involved in the volleyball team and went out to parties quite often. However, I couldn't help but feel quite lonely when surrounded by people; regardless of them being my friends, I didn't share the same interests or topics with them. Despite being in the popular group, I was always more quiet and focused on my studies. I enjoyed reading a lot of fantasy books and playing video games (I have older siblings, and it was always my entertainment at home), but I hid that side of me to avoid seeming weird. In my physics class, there was a boy who was always picked on and alone; even the day I greeted him for the first time, he thought I was mocking him. Slowly, we became very good friends because I finally got to know someone who shared my interests. He introduced me to his group of friends from other schools and their gaming sessions. I remember those weekends as the best in my life. On Fridays, we would get together to play board games or go to a laser tag arena, and on Saturdays, I would go party with my other group of "popular" friends. A few years ago, he told me something that I still remember to this day. He said that without me, he might not have made it out of high school alive. He doesn't know that unintentionally, he also saved me and allowed me to be who I am without any shame. We are still best friends! If someone is reading this, please remember to be kind. We don't know what others are going through. Let go of your stereotypes because it gives you the opportunity to meet wonderful people
The fact that this is too related to my situation is honestly surprising. I always love reading fantasy books and painting but i hid that side of me so that they wouldn't think I'm weird. I'm always belonged to the popular groups because they considered me "attractive" and "smart". However, everytime I hangout with them I can't help but feel lonely too, i didn't share interest with them but despite being apart with 'that' group I'm more focused on studying and improving my talents. I'm not against them, they're nice and I'm very thankful that I'm finally with people who share the same interest with me.
It took me a good few years after high school to admit I was bullied. I was a shy quiet stereotypical Asian girl only at school. A place where I couldn’t be myself. A place where I was a major people pleaser that let people take advantage of my kindness. The boys woth call and whisper my name but they never replied when I answered. They just giggled. I told them to stop many times but they wouldn’t. One took a photo of me and sent it in the boys snapchat group or something and I felt so insecure and self conscious. I burst out in tears in the class after. I told one of the girls what happened and a counselor came and asked if I was being bullied. I refused to believe they were bullying me. Because I thought I trying my best to fit in so why would they choose me to bully? I never did anything to them or anyone. I just went my own way. It was not physical or verbal bullying So I just thought of it as teasing. I would feel like everyone was judging every move I made. When I would go home , I’d run to my room and cry. I had a 100% attendance record at school 😂 until I made so many excuses to skip school that final year. All the girl friends were fake and only came to me when they needed me. So I didn’t attend graduation and cut everyone off after I finished school. I don’t regret anything. Now I’m 23 and I realized I only need my few close friends in my life :) I’m done with pleasing everyone and I’m super selective about who I consider my friend! I finally prioritize myself and make boundaries. Im telling you boundaries is so important. Don’t let anyone disrespect your boundaries.
I can definitely relate to the part about being bullied and a people pleaser. Jesus, do those things go hand in hand? I've always been friends with people with popular privilege, and admired in a yearning way. A while ago I would've told myself I'd never been bullied but I have, and I've seen it happen to other people, but I remember all the comments even from 2nd grade.
I’ve been through similar things this past school year…. Can we chat somewhere, like Reddit? I’m having trouble figuring why people do certain things to me in my past school (I’m transferring high schools for the upcoming school year)…. I honestly refuse to believe they’re bullying me (like you) but I just don’t get why they would tho… I don’t think I’m ugly…
@@bunnywavyxx9524 maybe in a way they know we are people pleasers and they know that we will always try to be on their good side… I think a lot of people thought I was a quiet bitch because I got sick of trying to fit in and pleasing people. I was in the same boat as you! I was on the volleyball team and friends with the popular girls. I learnt a few things that happened… after the day I burst out in tears , they stopped bullying me. I was really on the edge. I tried to play it cool but my heart just went cold. I don’t usually hate people but I hated all of them. I think I ignored them the entire year and never saw them again after :D so I guess I learnt to not play it cool if they’re bullying 😅 get angry, make a fuss, publicly embarrass them for bullying in this day and age.
@@vanilla1353 when I was around your age I always doubted my feelings. I told myself that I know this is only high school and I won’t be in this position after graduating. Can I ask are they verbal and physically bullying you? Or something like what I went through? Have you tried to confront them before ? I don’t think its you’re the reason why they’re bullying you. Bullies just pick on everyone to try and hide their insecurities. Bullies are the major people pleaser here. They pick on people for the reaction and audience. They want to feel validated. So don’t blame or think you are the reason they are bullying you! Always stand up for yourself. It’s such an embarrassing thing that people still find validation in bullying others. You will get through this, trust me :) Just never stoop as low as them. I really find investing in yourself, like self care , exercising, working on a project/hobbie a great way to destress. You’re focus will be on yourself and you won’t give a damn about anyone else.
10:23 I relate to her so much, mostly because of that specific part. I was never scared of sexual harassment because I didn’t really think about it too much, but ever since I was about 15 I’ve gotten harassed by not only strangers but also people I knew since I was little. I became really conscious about by environment ever since and I get super suspicious with adult men especially, where it reaches a point of some kind of paranoia. I’m really sorry for feeling like that towards random people who haven’t done anything to me but I can’t help it since it’s unfortunately become such a frequent part of my life.
Yes. I'm in pretty category i guess but i got unlimited numbers of dirty looks from men and it makes me self-conscious. I avoid wearing revealing clothes. It really makes me feel suspicious, anxious and disgusted.
@@illegallyliving8357 yeah Ik exactly how you feel, my mom would always tell me it’s my fault for wearing a dress and always kinda meanly hint at every single older man she saw looking at me to make me feel bad. So for me it didn’t really come from myself but rather my mother was the first one who made me insecure on purpose:/
i also think it is important to note that beauty doesnt always mean popularity. there are some people who are very pretty but not popular because they dont know how to "act". It is honestly an art to get what you want out of a group of people. Moreover, I have a different experience with popularity. I am very popular with certain groups of people but ont with others. I think it is to do with language, interests and different academic backgrounds. Some of them respect me a lot and the others don't respect me at all!
You’re absolutely correct. I wasn’t a stunner in school but I think I’m slightly above average when it comes to looks. Yet I was always the background friend that nobody cared about. Instead of becoming popular among peers, people started developing jealousy towards me. Being pretty but not popular, people felt obligated to treat me however they want. Everyone knew me cause I’m like half pretty but no one cared enough to stick up for me, I felt so isolated. I still don’t know if things would’ve been different if I acted differently like you said.
Absolutely valid point. I think it's relatively easier for you to get along with people and then become popular just because people would want to be friends with you but other than that, I agree with everything you said
I already replied to you, but still, I feel this. But there wasn't really a problem with them, but also sad because I'm not that noticeable enough, that I end up being a people pleaser. In the end, its roots in my not being confident about myself.
I’m autistic and that was my experience. The mean girls wanted to be my friends at first and then when they realized I couldn’t read social cues they didn’t wanna be my friends anymore. I ended up getting bullied by them. I had less peace than people that were considered complete weirdos.
very great to see from both ends of the spectrum. I personally think they seem both very kind people, they both are brave talking about such personal issues with such honesty. I find it honestly a bit sad when people only see a pretty person just as being someone pretty, like that would be their only character trait. not all people who don't fit in strict beauty norms are kind and not all pretty people are mean and silly. I wish both of them success and true friends
so glad the title changed because I was so shocked when I got a notification from the channel and it called the other girl ugly. I just so happy that the girl learned to be open to herself and learned some self-love as well🥰🥰
Yujin is the perfect example of what I would call “innocent popular” or the “princess friend” in a group. People like her get special treatment, whether they are aware of it or not. Yet she doesn’t let all of that attention mess with her ego. We need more people like her
It was so nice that right away, Yujin immediately looked passed physical appearance and see someone for who they are on the inside. Both of them are beautiful. It’s sad that Jiahn is discriminated against. Beauty is beyond skin deep.
For anyone struggling with not being popular in school. It gets better! It took me so so long to find a group of friends who actually understood me and included me in plans. I was unpopular and very unconfident in grade school and even into high school/college. But once I grew into myself and became more confident being just me, people liked me more and more. Younger me would not believe how older me could turn out
I can't believe people asked Yujin's friend why she was hanging out with her if she didn't wear makeup and didn't get along with males. And that broke their friendship because she probably felt insecure. I can't believe how cruel this world can be. I told myself so many times that those kdrama stories where probably exaggerated and there couldn't exist people who make others suffer so badly. But I just wanted to make me believe that. I hope that, if anyone reads this, remind themselves that you don't have to stop being friends with someone bc someone tells you you're not good enough. So sad
Ji Ahn, no matter what society calls you or how it sees you, the real ones will keep you and stay with you no matter what. And keep protecting your kind and gentle big heart. Yujin, it's not your fault if society expects a lot from you and if other people won't take you seriously just because you had a little bit of a better life than them. You are living the best you can and as humble as possible. Life is unfair. That's why it's fair for everyone. How you take it is always your choice. Don't let other people steal that power from you.
I’m fat myself but my best friend is thin and pretty. I don’t mean regular pretty either I mean unfairly pretty. She has long blonde hair and blue eyes and a great facial structure, she could seriously be a model. I always wondered why she even kept me around. You know how girls get in a friendship but it’s secretly a competition? It was never like that with her, she never tried to make me feel bad because of my appearance. In fact she said she doesn’t know why I even think like that at all and that she loves me and she thinks god brought me to be friends with her and she doesn’t know what she’d do without me. I was a little shocked at this…but I felt the same. We’ve been best friends for 10 years now, she calls me her sister. I don’t live in the same place anymore, I moved far away but every month we call and talk and sometimes we even get a plane ticket to visit each other. It really doesn’t matter how you look, you can find a really amazing friend.
This channel can fix this title. The girl is not ugly, and they don't deserve to have her on this video if they can't respect her while she is taking her time for them.
Girl has clear skin dimples nd perfect glossy hair, and a lovely deep voice and sweet expressions and vibe, she's a cutie! I'd be friends with her for sure
Damn she be living the k drama life, truth be told I match the society’s general beauty standards to a good extent but I’ve always been ignored, not taken seriously and just straight up disrespected. Last year I started to appreciate myself instead of seeking appreciation. Yah, I prefer jeans but atleast I can breathe in my clothing and move however I want. Now my grades are back to normal, I’ve been putting more effort into sports and life is feeling amazing.
It's uncanny how i relate to them both so much hahahaha. I was bullied in kindergarten everyday for having a really tan skin and in elementary, how i was treated differently in different lights due to my shifting appearance like getting really very skinny like a skeleton (due to some illnesses i had causing me to have very little appetite) and gaining lots of weight (yes i turned overweight) after i recovered and took a lot of vitamins. Short hair, long hair, headbands, fashion and different hairstyles, change of skin tones shifting between darker shade and lighter tones... I witnessed how appearances causes people on how they treat you. When i was going through my puberty in 1st year junior high, i got my first confession from a guy in the senior year who i didn't know and i found out who the guys in my same year level took interest in me for the first time. I wasn't happy or upset or anything, i was just so used to being treated differently so many times that i don't think i understood what love is at that time. Even now, I'm turning a senior this year and i still haven't dated anyone and I'm more comfortable and happy to keep it that way. I just prefer to focus in studies (not that I'm a top student lol) but also, i just want to spend more fun times and memories with my friends before i change schools again.
so eye opening.. their interaction was done very well and i’m glad this didn’t go wrong because execution is so important 😭 both very kind hearted souls
I can relate to both of them.. Until Middle School I used to have baby fat and wasn't considered that pretty and I was a nerd (still am).. Ppl used to not treat me nicely, especially the popular ones. They only came to me to either tease me or when they wanted something..But after I hit puberty my baby fat reduced, I started taking care of myself like skincare which I didnt do before and I started looking "pretty".. Ppl started treating me differently even though I hadnt changed much internally.. Thats when I understood Pretty privilege.. I changed schools in high school and started experiencing the stuff the girl on the right said.. I became popular, I got confessions for a lot of guys, girls wanted to be frnds with me... The same guys who teased me in middle school now wanted to "be frnds" and confessed to me.. I couldnt believe how drastic my experiences were.. I am in clg rn and it still sometimes difficult to process stuff like this..
I’ve been bullied and have experienced trauma from men too, so I could deeply relate to both of them. I’m glad they had such a lovely conversation and could connect with each other 💖 This makes me want to try to make more friends 😂
as someone whom people around me categorized as pretty, I also experienced the same concern as Yujin. I got SA-ed when I was young by older man and since then I can't really go outside by myself because every time I see older man that I don't know personally, I would be very afraid of the possibility that something like that could happen again to me. I wouldn't deny that this look privileged me in some ways and I'm grateful to be this way, but I just want to say that being "pretty" also comes with disadvantages. personally, I'm always afraid to voice this opinion because people would say something along the lines, "but at least you're pretty" or "just be grateful that you're pretty" and those words shaped my mindset into thinking that all of my achievement is possible because I'm pretty and I can't never be "less pretty" or else I would be reduced into nothing. I know this mindset is stupid but I can't help it. I found myself crying even when I looked fine because I was supposed to be "the pretty girl". I also can't say anything about my insecurities because people would tell me that I was fishing for compliments. I didn't mean anything like that. I was just sharing about my insecurities like when they told me theirs. (so why is it valid if it's theirs but mine is not?) I'm not trying to be ungrateful, really. I understand that it must be hard for them to go through such experiences so I always tried to emphatize and listen to their concerns. but why did I feel that being "pretty" stripped me of any right to have my own concern and insecurities? I want to be heard too. I truly didn't want to sound ungrateful, I'm sorry if anything I typed gave such impression. I didn't mean it like that. this opinion does not mean that I disregard people who had received the same treatment as Jiahn since I also loathe how people could be so cruel and discriminate people only by looks. me being grateful for privilege that I got also does not necessarily mean that I want the "pretty" to forever have this privilege. I don't mind losing this privilege if it means equality in how people would treat each other regardless of their looks. I hope there will be days when things like "the pretty" and "the not-pretty" would perish and people could live their life comfortably. I'm sorry if the words that I typed offended anyone and if it's too long (I'm too afraid to voice this offline lmao). please, always be happy whenever and wherever you are!
The fact that you apologized multiple times and kept reiterating that you’re not trying to be ungrateful shows just how much your feelings have been invalidated, so sorry you went through all that. Stay strong
I think everyone's pain is understandable and deserves to be voiced since we all have different experiences. Sharing your perspective is okay since your pain is still yours and you can tell it clearly hurt you. You also shared how you did have pretty privilege which is something amazing! I'm proud of you for sharing this comment :))
thank you for sharing this. ive also always been categorized as such, but i usually avoid saying anything that sounds like a complaint because i know people will say stuff like "at least you're pretty," so same as your reason. i also went through SA for nearly a decade starting from childhood. at times, it can feel unbearably lonely for me because i feel like i cant tell anyone about my struggles or else they will make me feel like i am ungrateful. you are not alone in this and your experiences, thoughts, and emotions are valid
this video proves that even people considered "pretty" can also be mistreated. both people were harassed in some way, and looks can be troubling to anyone
I relate to Ji ahn so much, I wasn't called out for being fat directly though but I knew that I was fat and I knew that others thought it too, I would worry about sitting next to others incase I took up too much space and made them feel squished on a bus or even during school assemblies and it doesn't help that I am very tall too. I feel like I take up so much space and its so uncomfortable for me and probably for the person I am sitting with, well its what I think. And a lot of the perfect looking people at school are always worrying that their friends or boy/girlfriends only like them for their looks while I am having to be funny to gain friends, without me being funny and disruptive all the time I would not have any friends, when I don't speak much or become quiet suddenly there's something wrong with me. I even ended my relationship with the only person I am certain I loved due to me being fat, I don't want to be with her because I am afraid she will judge me for it and I believe that she can do better than being with me. The teacher always asks me back in my middle school days to help with lifting the heavy things because I am fat she assumes I'm strong or when the skinnier girl is carrying something heavy people tell me I should do it. I think its unfair, why must I carry what she is holding just because I'm fat? she can do it herself. Is what I think to myself, I became so self conscious I never show my stomach and wear many layers so that my belly appears flat. I will begin losing weight though because I know its unhealthy and I want to feel comfortable in my own skin but I do think these actions and words will be stuck with me forever even if my weight is gone.
I used to be fat the majority of my life, and I'll be honest with you the body dysmorphia and how comfortable you feel doesn't really go away. I lost 20 pounds recently, and around the halfway mark I started developing an ED, I'm currently trying to recover so please do be careful when you are losing weight and make sure you are still eating enough. The most important thing is to learn how to love the current you and not the future you, once you learn to love yourself where you are right now, things will become so much easier. A lot of people told me this but never told me how to actually do it. In my experience just start complimenting yourself even if you don't believe it yet, say things to bring up your esteem, don't search for other people's validation but look for your own instead. You got this! Good luck! ❤
I really like both of them a lot. Yujin seems really sweet. It shows that not all popular girls are mean and arrogant. And Jihan isn't like those girls who hate other popular girls just because of her past experience. Its something really heartwarming to see.
Personally, I wouldn't categorize my experiences according to either strata. No one bullied me nor considered me a “popular girl”. My interactions with others were neutral, which consisted of me mostly minding my own business. So from the perspective of a “bystander”, I'd say that even though they don't choose to be “pretty” or “ugly”, their peers will nonetheless label them as such. Both extremes have their pros and cons. A “typical bullied person” is always stereotyped as non-attractive, unpretty (even though they have their own unique personality and beauty), and they get the short end of the stick. On the other hand, those who are judged as appealing may be seen as superficial, and their true character may be overlooked. Everyone should be accepted for who they are, regardless of their physical appearance. It's important to remember that beauty is not only skin deep, and that true acceptance comes from understanding and appreciating someone's character. But let's be honest, it doesn't hurt to have a great smile and a killer wardrobe either!
I was in an "elevator" school system, where you automatically graduated from one school to another. The structure of it was such that two single-sex schools - one female, one male - would merge into a co-ed school. While I was in the girls' school, things were okay - I had a few good friends that I liked a lot and hung out with. I slept through most of my classes but did fairly well. When we graduated into the co-ed school, however, everything changed. I'm conventionally pretty thanks to braces and contact lenses, and I also happened to make friends with very popular people within the first few days of school. I ended up becoming very high-profile very fast, and it was incredibly stressful for me. Many of my female friends stopped hanging out with me because I spent time with guys, and I got increasingly desperate to retain their friendship, which drove them away even more. I quickly lost the guy friends I had attained because they would confess to me and I would reject them. This led to a ton of bad rumors about me, mostly about me being a bitch, a player, etc. I was incredibly stressed and felt like it was me versus the world. Ironically, when I slid into depression I stopped taking care of myself, stopped doing my hair, wore glasses again - and my new "frumpy" look gave me more anonymity than before and made my life so much easier. I'm no longer depressed and put effort into my appearance again, not for external validation but because investing the energy into myself gives me confidence. Even though looking "pretty" makes me high-profile as a result, I'm also indifferent to other people outside my close circle now: the people who stuck by me through my depression. I only have two close female friends now - they're both popular, but what's important is that they were there for me and have been nothing but genuine in their friendship.
as someone who grew up unattractive to become stereotypically attractive now , my experiences with people as well as situations changed on a dramatic scale.....which is kinda upsetting. Earlier no one really took initiative to talk and even elders showed partiality in most of opportunities. The only way i coped is getting always 💯 in academics. Even if they neglected me in ways , i was quite known around for my academic achievements. And my friends, who liked me for me , still support and hang around me. But this situation changed the opposite in my college now. I'm now one of the popular girls who became famous for looks. People acknowledge me now. My presence makes an impact. In conversations, people listen till u finish, especially guys. Always someone looking at u whether a boy or girl....in a creepy way. Everyone approached me and wanted something from me.....like taking advantage of my popularity to hang around me so they get recognized....but not in the intention of being my friend. Boys are the worst....they enter as friends but after a few days or months....they confess.....when u reject....they spread really bad rumors about you. Girls always gossip about my sense of dressing and everything. The people i first thought r my friends talked behind my back. Till now, i haven't found a genuine friend in college to trust, although I'm always surrounded by people. The funny part is.....im the most introverted person u will ever find but i realized now i always have some company....even if i don't talk.....they make efforts to talk, which was not the case when i was younger....which is sad. Even professors notice me, especially male ones, and grade me higher, now n then try to engage in conversations with me......which is absolutely disgusting, but i get opposite reactions from female professors who subtlety bully me. If you ask me which is better......i would say both has its pros and cons......but personally for me when i was unattractive even though i was not noticed much ....i had a peaceful life with full of genuine people around to love me. This comment is purely based on my personal experience . I wasn't trying to hurt anyone with this information. I just want to tell people.... becoming pretty will not end all your life struggles .....everything has their own issues . And pretty girl are not always mean and most of the rumors about them wouldn't be true. And DON'T reply to this comment.
i relate to Ji Ahn the most. i am someone who has been bullied all my life bc of how i look, when she told the story of how her teacher was telling her things it reminded me of something i went through. I am originally from Mexico but now live in the US and when i came to study as a young child my teacher prohibited anyone from talking to me. I was only in first grade and didn’t understand the language much so i only thought that ppl didn’t talk to me bc i was a different race. funny thing is that many people in my class spoke spanish but they didn’t want to get in trouble. I was only told about this when one of my classmates mom had come clean and apologized for not talking to me sooner. I have had a rougher school life i am still only very young but i have always been bullied bc of my image too. Guys don’t tend to talk to me bc i am not the best looking girl.
I feel this. I was popular at school, had something traumatic happen outside of school then got bullied pretty badly at school/home so I’ve lived both sides of this. I’m not sure if bullying differs from where I live and Korea but from what I’ve seen in kdramas it’s very similar. I hope that both of them are happy and living their best lives
So nice to watch two amazing ladies that are very respectful to one another and truly interested in hearing each others stories 🥰 this taught me that popularity in school doesn’t really matter as much as people might think and there are struggles to both. Instead, focus on being a good person and being authentic to who you are. ❤
I used to be just like Jiahn, now I'm more in the in-between. I used to be fat all my life, and I was always insecure about it, my mom probably never noticed since she is thin, but the backhanded comments were the start of my insecurity. My sister was also extremely thin, and I felt like I gained weight for the both of us. While I was never bullied for being fat specifically, I was bullied for my looks. I'm a brown girl with glasses and I'm nerdy, it's crazy what kids in ELEMENTARY can do. Recently I lost 20 pounds and got an ED in the process, I'm currently trying to recover but I hope that it does get better. So, even though I'm not fat anymore, some of the insecurities still do stay. Considering looks, I'm average, and I feel like I am just unable to get the attention of any boys. I know boys aren't everything but as a hopeless romantic and as the only one in my entire class and friend group without any dating history, I can't help but feel insecure. At times I feel like I am pretty enough to make friends, but not pretty enough to actually have a romantic relationship. I'm working on finding my own self-worth and validation, and I have been on this journey for 7 years already. Even though it may not seem like I made any progress, I know that the younger me would be so happy to see where I am today. For anyone that is also on this journey, now that you are not alone, and hopefully we can all find our own self-worth and happiness soon. ❤
Such a lovely message, thank you. "Considering looks, I'm average, and I feel like I am just unable to get the attention of any boys. I know boys aren't everything but as a hopeless romantic and as the only one in my entire class and friend group without any dating history, I can't help but feel insecure." - I resonated a lot with these words, being a hopeless romantic myself and having felt like this all throughout middle school and high school. Growing up, every woman I knew, from my aunt to my younger friends, had some romantic experience with boys... and then there I was, not even a hand held to my name. Thanks to my overall personality (aka average teenager) I never got *too* hung up on it, being much too busy thinking about what to do after graduation, what was the point of life, how does a person even know they are living in reality and such (the wonderful experience of the first existential crisis). Well, turns out it was all for the best - I got to know myself well and became acquainted with various shapes of romantic relationships through my friends, just in time to meet some decent guys at the ripe age of 20. I'm 24 now and looking back I realize that it was when others sensed that I was comfortable with myself that they found me attractive (both as a potential friend and as a potential romantic interest). I wish you well on your journey, so that you fully come to know and respect who you are and what you value. It's a life long journey for most of us, and I hope that yours may be filled with happiness and companionship.
8:00 sexual harassment isn't dependent on popularity or beauty standards. I'm not dismissing what she said, it's just something i think is important for people to know
Please be fr , women who are seen as pretty are more likely to get harassee , Marilyn is a good example and whats your point writing this here? " i am.not dismissing " lol
In some American schools youre pressured to be in the middle and pressured to be chill, ignore everyone, listen to music, not care about anyone, smile sometimes, and make tiny comments, then people will leave you alone and like you. But if you’re energetic, bubbly, and kind, you get picked on and are “trying to be the main character” and if your too quiet and don’t smile or interact you’re “emo” it’s so strange
This is an interesting interview. I can relate so much to both as I've been in both ends of the spectrum, growing up unpopular and the girl with the "four eyes" during high school to suddenly popular in college. Unfortunately I feel once a child is made to feel lesser than others among peers, their self confidence doesn't really recover even if they have a glow up. Even now I still feel like I'm not good enough for many things because of how my past experiences has shaped me 😕
It must be hard for Jiahn to keep that cuz she said she never told anyone before. She's so brave and so cool that finally can shares it with Yujin. I'm so proud of her❤
I was what you call a ‘background invisible character’ during my middle school and high school days. I never stood out, but I wasn’t shamed for the way I looked. Fortunately, I was never bullied during middle or high school and I consider myself extremely grateful for that. I find it ridiculous that I’m grateful because I shouldn’t be; it shouldn’t have come to the point where people should be feeling grateful for not being bullied, but it has. Although I do have a story that hurt me a lot back when I was 14, now I see it as a place to grow. Like I said, I wasn’t popular, but I wasn’t bullied. I had a friend group, but there was one girl who I would always hang out with along with another boy. The boy (we’ll call him D) had a crush on the girl (we’ll call her L). I knew this and she was aware too. She was pretty and I questioned multiple times why she was hanging around with me instead of hanging out with the multiple friend groups she had. I soon found out that I was being used as a ‘charity’ friend and she soon completely (and randomly) started ignoring me in favor of hanging out with a much popular girl in my class. D liked L, so as much as he would hang out with me, the minute she was in his presence, he would ditch me and hang out with her instead. Of course I had a friend group, but it wasn’t the same because one of the closest friends I had completely ignored me in favor of being popular. High school came around and I realized that being friends with someone shouldn’t feel like a chore or an obligation. If you enjoy their presence, hang out with them, if you don’t, then leave. But don’t leave without saying anything because it hurts, trust me. And if you’re going to be friends with someone, be truthful about it and don’t abandon them for popularity.
지안아! 고등학교 동창이야 요즘 여기저기에서 네 얼굴을 많이 볼 수 있어서 좋아 고등학교 생활 내내 밝은 모습만 보고 너의 리더십에 감탄하다 이 영상을 보니 생각보다 넌 우리가 모르는 아픔이 많았구나 그런 아픔이 있는 줄은 아예 모를 정도로 항상 분위기 잘 끌어올려주고 남들 잘 돕고 그랬다는 게 정말 대단하다 어린 나이인데도 그렇게 어른스러운 모습만을 보여줬다는 게 놀라워 개인적으로 연락하기엔 애매해서 댓글로 남기지만 언젠간 이 댓글 보고 네가 누군가에겐 정말 긍정적인 영향만을 미치는 좋은 존재라는 걸 알았음 해 이지안 배우 파이팅! 늘 응원할게
In a society where adults and even teachers bully a child, you cannot prevent children or teenagers from bullying someone. In the end, You can't teach an old dog new tricks.
She is physically but that's fine. We shouldn't let that keep us down but rather work towards improvement. Lying to her is not helping her. It's like the little kids when their grandmothers tell them they are the most handsome and once they get to school they get a reality check. It's important to be honest, without being hurtful or the disappointments in your life will be bigger. You'll be thankful later in life to those who were honest with you.
as a person whos experienced both sides, its sooo weird knowing that there's no good in both sides. there's always going to be a negative experience huhu
@@scorpiio1665not true but what matters most is how you see yourself. Always be kind and open minded. Being kind and open minded, you don’t loose anything because you are still a good person. Maybe some people may be prettier or smarter than you because of beauty standards but the moons beauty doesn’t take away the flower’s beauty. You have to remember that they are standards and not factual. Standards change, people’s opinions aren’t all the same. How you perceive yourself is far more important than what other people say. It says more about a persons intentions and personality than their outer appearance. Your charm will only get you so far if you don’t work hard and be nasty. People will always be unsatisfied with who they are and their life no matter what spectrum you are in. You will always be unsatisfied until you accept who you are. Yeah pretty privilege exists but it doesn’t mean that everyone is willing to treat you like a human. People assume on both sides that you are someone you are not and may take advantage of you. Live and be happy 🫡🫡 Be more gentle and forgiving to yourself. I promise it’s all just a superficial thing and it’s gonna make you regret caring so much when you get older
@@scorpiio1665One side is extremely isolated and not in the "some of my friends are shallow/fake" sense. It's in a "being discriminated against and seen as inferior for your entire life for being unattractive, and you never get to go anywhere, and people are always rude to you when you try" sense. No parties. No prom. No sleepovers. No trips. No nothing. Its as in you always having to be the one to approach people to try and get to know them and many of them go "oh yeah, sure" while being dismissive and actually never wanting to interact with you again despite not knowing anything about you. They just want you to leave them alone and make way for the "normal" people.
As an unpopular girl who gets bullied and made fun of,i always thought that the popular girl's lives are the best.its a dream come true and everything.that is until i became friends with a popular girl,then i saw the threats and insults from her lovers and somebody's girlfriends. And the creep teachers,that one female teacher who indirectly s*utshamed her.then i knew that the world is cruel for everyone
I think both of you are beautiful and nice in your own way. I love how both of you cheer each other up even though you both are not friends or anything. I love these kinds of contents. I hate how people judge one by their appearance or size.
This is so refreshing to see. Because I'm the type of person that grew up constantly saying sorry for actions I can't control or something I know I don't need to be sorry for just existing. To see two worlds existing side by side together is like a new world where peace and happiness could possibly exist. I wish I had something like this and I honestly feel like the girl to the left feels a lot more better about herself. I wish them both nothing but the best
It’s so hard watching my younger siblings go through some teenage struggles and feeling hopeless in how I can help them. All we can do is tell our kids we love them and how wonderful they are not because of how they look, but simply because they’re themselves ❤
I'm crying while listening to the unpopular one's story. I feel like I've been struggling with that kind of discrimination since I was a child. Although I'm not fat but I have a lot of insecurities. I feel like I don't have anything in my life to be proud of. I have a red birthmark on my face and my teeth is overbite. I'm also skinny and short. My classmates doesn't usually notice me as their crush or something that they would admire. I also have an average intellectual. I hope there is a world that full of insecure people so we don't notice a lot of differences.
I’m someone who has been on both sides of the spectrum and it’s a culture shock at how people treat you differently. I grew up from K-8th grade ugly but not incredibly unpopular. I had to really push at my intellect and my humor for people to find me fun to hang around with. Though, it was usually from people in the same boat as me. It wasn’t until my “glow up” freshman year-sophomore year that people started seeing me as a love interest or pretty. I had my first confession at a football game my first semester of my freshmen year, around the time I started discovering style and makeup and whatnot. I’m not super popular by any means, but i’ve noticed a flip in who talks to me. People who I would’ve been close to my elementary to early middle school years are now shy to talk to me and more popular girls are easy going with me. I’ve also gotten more love confessions, but due to this rapid change of attention towards me, I’ve never been able to let them down properly. It’s due to my insensitivity that i’ve hurt people that way. I figured that always being the fat funny friend, people would just move on if nothing was happening between us. But I see now that it was wrong of me to take people’s feelings lightly. I also have a boyfriend now after so many years of failed crushes. Though he’s plenty cute, i’ve been told by other people that we don’t look good together, or that I could do better. I’ve had people give me a 😒 face when I show them a picture of us. It infuriates me how shallow people are. I’ve always wondered if this kind of treatment would’ve lasted if I was who I was back then still…
I was never bullied to that extent but this made me cry knowing that a lot of us unattractive people out here always have and are still going through discrimination and cruelty no matter how much effort we put into of trying to love ourselves and trying to be good people.
I am so happy for Jianh! She grew up to be such a wonderful person and didn't let her experiences define who she was. She is such a strong individual. I wish more people were like her. But also this must have taken so much, I am sad for all the things she could have experienced but didn't. Hope everyone's school experience could be happy and fulfilling.
Like u see the way the attractive girl sits and laughs and moves, its more elegant and reserved, probably also a result from the constant attention and praises from others. The other chubby girl she is more open and lively with her actions and mannerism, which is more welcoming and soothing.
The thing is sexual harassers will always be sexual harassers regardless of what you’re wearing, it is not your fault nor your duty to change yourself.
@@tekla_ you're totally right, but i guess a person who is in those kind of situations just feels like changing the way they dress is easier than changing the gross mindset of hundreds of people. i still agree tho, clothes are just an excuse used to try & get away with it.
@@youresonarak yeah exactly, people immediately feel like they are the one in charge to change something when it’s not really in their control. It’s so sad
Sexual harassers will harass even if you are an androgynous looking child, as long as you are viewed female looking enough in their eyes, stay safe out there and avoid dodgy places without accompaniment ❤
This video once again shows us to never judge a person by their appearance... whether skinny, fat, tall, short, "pretty", "ugly" - everyone has their own struggles and stories..
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damned YUJIN
Gurl the nose, the lips, the botox, the jaw bones shaving
she went HARD AF on PLASTIC SURGERY😂😂😂😂😂😂
The world is cruel. Both of them seem really sweet and I hope the one on the left learns that she is beautiful even if society is against her.
The thing that saddens me a bit is that the popular girl has had surgeries on top of already being really beautiful, so it's not like she's exempt from the difficulties of the pressures of being "perfect" in the eyes of society.
@@IsaVarg Where did she say anything about having had surgeries? Or is that just your assumption?
The world is cruel for not wanting to talk to a specific person?
@@Ipromiseyounobodyismad why wouldn’t you want to talk to her? Just because of her appearance? Yes that is cruel
@@Ipromiseyounobodyismad yes.
both spectrums have their issues but I only really noticed them when i at one point was on both sides. growing up “unattractive” and then becoming “attractive” while still in school really shows you the shift in people’s attitudes towards you. it’s insane
Am i the only one who experienced the same but with reversed timelines?
Like, growing up i was the pretty kid of the class till halfway through middle school as puberty was cruel to me making me end up as the ugly kid of the class( during my puberty years i got diagnosed with certain chronic illnesses that made me lose my hair, gain weight, took away my fair complexion and gave me pale corpse skin along with dark circles from wearing glasses which too again was a result of my eye sight worsening, a side effect of the illness).
When i was pretty, school life was golden but during highschool it became hell.
The guys i liked never reciprocated the feelings, i witnessed all of my other classmates turn into beautiful butterflies while i was slowly rotting away.
I turned more invisible day by day.
It's normal (according to the biology) natural selection. Fat one looks unhealthy, that s why she's being rejected. Problem/bad genes = bad kids = no man are interested.
same but i went from attractive to “unattractive”
same goes for me too. I was always overweight since elementary school, i didn’t know when to stop eating cause you know i was 7-8 so i just kept on putting on weight. middle school was my lowest point. high school was like a middle ground for me i was neither ignored nor popular cause at high school i started losing weight but didn’t have the self confidence. when i started uni i got my hair dyed, got my self confidence and i was finally feeling attractive. I became popular, i have the most popular and attractive people as my best friends including upper classes. I think since i was bullied mostly in middle school now i don’t take it for granted. i see how people can act different towards you when you feel pretty, especially boys. I had uncountable boys talking to me last summer than my whole life. sometimes i still feel like some of them are too good or too handsome for me and they are out of my league but i try to shut down those thoughts. I went from the mindset of “i have to make people love me” to “i’ll see if i like people who try to come near me” and this changed my life. being confident and feeling beautiful in your own skin feels like heaven, my life flipped upside down but in a good way, which is unjustice. I feel sorry for young me, she felt horrible.
that's why we keep people at arms length!
I wish the translations captured more of the nuances!!! at 10:45 yunjin says something more along the lines of "but where are there other people as cool as you?" or "but your coolness is one of a kind" rather than just "I respect you" and at 10:47, instead of "you're brave, which is an aspect that is hard to achieve" she says "you have an aura that can't even be bought with money, truly". I know it may not seem like a big deal, but I want non-Koreans to understand just how intentional and specific she was with her compliments. There are a few other instances of translations that miss the mark, but I specifically wanted to highlight these because I feel like a lot of meaning was missed.
this actually makes a huge difference. thank you
Thank you for the tl, this makes big difference
the translation made her compliments seem backhanded, thanks for this! totally makes sense now
Thats great thank you so much
Thank you for this!
I like how the the popular girl tells the girl with the glasses to stand up for herself and validates her feelings and how the girl with glasses is so honest and able to admit to her past views that were wrong about popular people, it was such a cute interaction between 2 young ladies , the way they both got angry for each other when hearing the others struggles was so cute
lol judging from how students generally are in Korea... You never know how they truly think or judging in the inside until they reveal it.
@@bapbirblike every other person in every other country
@@Pprt8036ave you seen bullying in Korea? 💀 That is not like every other country
@@leoneabbacchio4375right😶🫡
@@leoneabbacchio4375 bullying is quite rampant in the global south, s.korea isn't the only country with a horrible bullying problem.
what sucks is that i'm not even ugly, nor pretty, just somewhere in the middle. not bullied, but also not treated very nicely, just ignored. as an introvert, it's so hard making friends because of it.
Same..
i’m also like that and i really enjoy being invisible. it’s like i can be a different person anywhere i go, i can act like different characters and people would always accepted it (because when u’r too attractive ppl will nitpick everything u do to find flaws). but being “average” people just don’t care that much, i can easily have normal conversations (even tho yes i’m still always awkward & introverted)
Gurll that's mee
so me bro, lets be friends :D
stop this is so true
My heart breaks watching this because I could relate to Ji Ahn a lot. I was never bullied but always ignored. Guys won't even talk to me and girls think I'm not cool enough to hang out with them. I'm 24 and never made a friend and I realised(too late) that the people whom I thought were my 'friends'.. they were just taking advantage of me for their academics. And the worst part is that, my mother, sister and relatives were the ones who hurt me the most
Take care dear .. life is not that easy keep going ❤
Aww i'm sorry to hear that. I just wanna tell you that you're an amazing person and you're loved. don't be discouraged ..i hope you keep you head held high and move forward.i wish that you meet people/friends who like you for who you are. Have a good day dear.
Me too, 26 y old here.
I'm a clg students since I'm facing this I could really understand .I never made frnds &also they used to avoid me bcoz I'm fat in my second year higher secondary school. now in my clg I'm facing this kinda prblm like everyone talks and add frnds in social media to pretty girls & no one speaks with me
Shit that sucks, I'm 26 now a'd some of who I thought were my closest friends in high school didn't give a single shit about me once we were out of HS, then I made friends at uni, but again got backstabbed, it hurt
Thankfully I have a few good friends who've been there for a while
I hope you can make friends at uni/work or wherever, ones that truly appreciate you and your presence really
A close friend of mine can be categorised as a popular girl. We're in university and she's very well known by juniors and seniors. Guys approach her a lot and girls always ask her for her beauty tips. And I assumed she never had any problems making friends until she opened up to me one day. About how some girls would call her a "pick me" and that's because guys would always ask her out, it fueled the anger of other girls even more. I was surprised when she voiced her concern because it seemed like everyone adores her.
What I'm trying to say is that this world is harsh to everyone. For as long as you breathe, you will never be liked by everyone.
At least she has you who choose to say her experience here which shows you really adore her
Everyone have their own problems but you can't deny pretty privilege exists and that life is a whole lot better/different with it.. People nowdays are earning money because of their looks even. It has been that way for a long time.
@@bapbirbit's not their fault they can't help that their born good-looking blame society... society is the reason that pretty privilege exist
@@AngledLines I never blamed the individuals. But its still kind of true that usually people who aren't physically attractive are the ones to get shunned or get the shorter end of the stick in various aspects of life. Which is something that's very apparent in Asian society like Korea. Usually kids that are 'ugly' get bullied and outcasted by those that are better looking. Those who meet the beauty standard? Sure they can be subjected to envy and gossips, but they still get praised and valued for their appearance.
(btw people/individuals make up society if you didn't know that by now. Society is a human product and it goes the same other way around).
@@bapbirbbut the girl has never denied pretty privilege. just that it isnt as good as people think it is
I was so impressed by the girl with glasses right after she started talking. Her tone, her words, and the way she describes her own life story is so calm and steady. She’s such an eloquent person and I deeply respect her mindset and attitude. Jiahn I want to tell you that you are a wonderful person and I believe you will become successful in anywhere. Wish you the best on your actress journey!
as someone on the "pretty girl" spectrum i always found it so hard to make deep connections with people because i always felt they treated me nicely but weren't sincere about it, it felt very shallow specially knowing that my "girl friends" talked behind my back that i should use makeup in secret, that i was a pick me and snobbish, because the boys they liked confessed to me.. and I'm a lesbian so that part was extra hard for me. i tried so hard to not be very feminine despite being kind of delicate and fem looking, especially when i was younger, i tried to make boys hate me by turning them down coldly so my friends would like me, it never worked so i started going out more with "guy friends" but at some point they'd confess to me and i would turn them down and they'd never look at me or talk to me again. it always felt lonely, as if people only talked to me out of their own interest, not because they actually liked me. also i got so paranoid about proving myself, because people would always say things are easy for me and that i received a better treatment because im "pretty" so even if i did accomplish something or did anything cool they would belittle my accomplishments as "pretty privilege". anyway, if anyone reads this, i hope you reflect and know that at the end of the day we are all struggling in our own ways. so really just be kind and don't waste your energy with people that aren't worth it, do what would make u proud of yourself always!!
Well said. Everybody needs that kind of heads up sometimes.
And that part with guy friends really hurts. As a fellow lesbian, I think it must difficult to deal with guys that are attracted to you but you just aren't attracted to them. And then it feels like you are the problem or you have to apologize to them just because they asume you're straight. And then they ditch the friendship because it is useless now? Fake friends
ah as someone who got confessed to a lot but is also a lesbian did you also get told “what a waste” as a response when telling people? that always used to hurt me a lot :’)
@@artlike335 how did u know u r Lesbian? I mean did u hook up with girls? tbh I believe that every1 is bi . Happy Pride month 🏳🌈
For real. It's hard if not impossible to keep guy friends, and girl friends think you want to date them. Lose-lose situation. 🙃
@@eldize6771 I don't think everyone is bi, there's many strictly straight or strictly gay people and it can't be helped
As someone who "glowed up", I've come to find it hard to make genuine platonic friends with guys and to not secretly question their motives sometimes. When I was younger, I didn't really care about who was looking at me because I felt fairly average looking and invisible, but now I can totally relate to Yujin's point about purposefully avoiding spaces with too many men. I thought I would love getting stared at a lot, but now it's just creepy and instantly triggers my fight or flight response.
Definitely, also I love your pfp lol
Love the pfp also 😂🙏🏻 But same thing here, I was bullied for my looks for 11 years, so most of my childhood. Nowadays I guess I'm better looking or something, but to me the hypocrisy pisses me off. If I dress more feminine and not in my usual style, men change their demeanor completely; suddenly they open doors, smile, offer help etc. - stuff they wouldn't normally do. I've pretty much come to the conclusion that if you don't act courteously to everyone around you, regardless of their looks, you aren't worth my time and not someone I want to spend time with.
@@licensetochill4992 I couldn’t agree more! Learned this lesson the hard way when classist people from school who used to treat me like shit for how I used to look suddenly started treating me nice and became so interested in me lmao. Fell for it and thought they were my friends, having no knowledge of the kind of stuff they used to say behind my back. Met them again recently, and older me could see right through the fake smiles and backhanded compliments.
Also appreciate all the love my pfp is getting 😆💗
Random-but i love your profile pic of sana
That is definitely true. But at the same time, a lot of guys would not even be « friends » with you if it weren’t for your looks.
i love their interaction so much. i love how they are able to empathize with each other. theyre zo adorable
🥺
The experiences of popular and unpopular girls at school can vary significantly. Here are some general differences that may exist, although it's important to note that individual experiences can differ greatly:
1. Social interactions: Popular girls often have a larger social circle and may find it easier to make friends. They may receive more attention and positive feedback from peers, which can boost their self-esteem. Unpopular girls, on the other hand, may struggle with social interactions, finding it harder to fit in or make friends. They might face social isolation or bullying, which can have a negative impact on their self-confidence.
2. Peer acceptance: Popular girls generally receive more acceptance and validation from their peers, leading to a greater sense of belonging. They may be invited to social events, parties, or other gatherings, allowing them to participate in a wide range of activities. Unpopular girls, however, may feel excluded or left out, experiencing a sense of rejection or being marginalized by their peers.
3. Influence and leadership: Popular girls may have more influence within their social groups. Their opinions and choices might be more readily accepted and followed by others. They may also have opportunities to assume leadership positions, such as being elected as a class representative or involved in student organizations. Unpopular girls often have limited influence or recognition, which can make it harder for them to have their voices heard or make an impact.
4. Self-perception: Popular girls may develop a stronger sense of self-worth due to positive feedback and validation from others. They might feel more confident, attractive, and socially competent. Unpopular girls, on the other hand, may struggle with self-esteem issues and negative self-perception, often comparing themselves to their popular counterparts and feeling inadequate.
5. Academic performance: While popularity does not necessarily determine academic performance, popular girls might have more access to resources and support systems, as well as better connections with classmates and teachers, which can positively impact their education. Unpopular girls may face additional challenges in terms of academic motivation or lack of support, which could affect their performance.
It's important to remember that these are general observations, and individual experiences can differ greatly within each group. Additionally, popularity can be subjective and may change over time as social dynamics evolve. Each person's experience is unique, and factors such as personality, interests, and personal circumstances also play a significant role in shaping their school experiences.
i also think it is important to note that beauty doesnt always mean popularity. there are some people who are very pretty but not popular because they dont know how to "act". It is honestly an art to get what you want out of a group of people. Moreover, I have a different experience with popularity. I am very popular with certain groups of people but ont with others. I think it is to do with language, interests and different academic backgrounds. Some of them respect me a lot and the others don't respect me at all!
this is so chat gpt like
@@el041lll3 100% lol
Bro used chatgpt
some pretty or popular girls are called "pick mes" or "sluts" and their achievements may be called "pretty privilege"
It's sad because both of these people in these times, are both very heavily stereotyped. They both seem like such genuine and sweet people, and I hope that they're having a great time.
It's sad how Jiahn immediatly puts herself below Yujin. How she's happy to meet such a pretty girl, happy to receive a compliment from a pretty girl. I hope she can become someone who respects herself.
Yujin does seem like a nice girl but I think she still doesn't really understand how lucky she is to have been born like that.
How terrible is the human race to treat one person like an animal and another like a royal just based on their appearance.
Especially Korea's society is honestly pitiful.
I felt this too. Yujin is genuinely nice, but she does have way more advantages for being pretty. I couldn't help but kind of cringe at the parts where Yujin would talk about receiving special service. Jiahn had mostly negative experiences in comparison and will definitely continue to have negative experiences due to Korean Society.
some people will shower her with compliments for her looks but they wouldn't say the same if she looked differently. what exactly does she gain? after all, all those compliments are of no worth
@@MonsterXfoxy Jiahn talks about more negative experiences, but Yujin talks about being physically sexually harassed and shows signs of PTSD from the events. Yujin probably hasn't even realized how shallow what people want from her is and when she does, people will brush her as being ungrateful or bragging. She can't keep girl friends, her guy friends are interested in her for reasons outside of friendship and while strangers treat her better, those eyes and hands can quickly become violent. This isn't a competition, and both their experiences are valid. TBH this isn't just in Korea and happens in the US as well. I went through a few up and down stages of being what was considered pretty and ugly in my environment, personally it's hard to compare the verbal and emotional abuse vs the sexual harassment and shallow relationships.
@@rita8274i get your point but i think the sexual assault and harassment thing isn’t just a conventionally pretty girl thing, it’s a girl thing in general. 1 in 3 women will experience it in their lifetimes
@@tyranny1679 Yes sexual assault and harassment isn't only a conventionally pretty girl thing, but from my own experience and the experience of a lot of people I know, it does happen even more often when you're conventionally pretty. People objectify you even more, even for general friendships they see you less as a person and more how they can benefit from you.
두 분 다 정말 성격이 좋으신 게 보여서 보기 좋네요... 어쩜 저리 말을 예쁘게 하고 예쁜 생각들을 가졌을까...
As someone who is apparently in the "not pretty" category and my friend being the popular girl, here's what I've noticed:
Pretty people have a much easier time making friends. Even if she doesn't bother talking to them, they come everyday to talk to her. Whereas girls like me have to sacrifice a lot for friends to actually like them. Honestly people just use me for notes and academics. I've been openly commented upon by people calling me ugly to my face. And, people with actually good personalities are ignored and importance is given to the pretty girls. A lot of guys propose to her and they would come to me and talk about how she was perfect and incredible. The worst part is that I actually liked a few of them but they would talk like that. They would gift her flowers and chocolate boxes and even gold jewelry. She'd reject them, but accepts the gifts anyways. I try not to be jealous.. but it's not so easy.
i totally agree, pretty people don't even have to try and be sociable. everyone just walks up to them or initiates with them. it's so frustrating since i try so hard to socialize but people who are pretty can just stand there doing nothing and people will go out of their way to contact them.
@@redmoonrise6507 but its not the fault of the pretty girls dont be frustrated on them, its the society it gives too much importance to looks rather than the actual person
@@redmoonrise6507I don’t think the commenter was blaming pretty girls. It’s still annoying and frustrating. She has the right to feel that way. Life and society can be unfair and cruel but we have to learn to do what we can control, not what people think and their stupid misconceptions, biases, and prejudices. Cuz how people judge can’t be our problem it’s something they have to learn to overcome in their flawed mentality if they ever get to that point.
@@Thelostplanet789sounds better than having an appearance that very literally turns everyone away.
@@Thelostplanet789 Nah I'm just stating facts. Many people approaching you, but some of them are bad apples vs. never being approached by people usually unless they were coming to be rude to you. Also no one interested in getting to know you despite never meeting you before and generally being treated like trash by society. Yeah. It's not a both sides thing.
I would love to see a kdrama that has a bigger girl as the lead! Bigger girls are also beautiful and smart, full of personality! Having one as a lead and main character in a drama might take away the stigma of not being thin to be considered worthy in society.
Unfortunately I don't see that happening any time soon😩. The Korea public is ruthless toward people who don't fit the beauty standards.
Is it that big girls in South Korea tend to be unpopular?? Because a lot of people that aren't popular are bigger, like in this video.
Coffee, Do Me a Favor has a bigger girl as the main cast.
@@roaxelieHonestly bigger people are not beautiful and Korea are a very lookist society so the prettier you are the more respect you will get. The beauty standard is looking like Irene from Red Velvet, Jisoo from Blackpink and Yoona from Girls Generation. You can see that people who don’t have features like them will often get bullied especially if you are overweight as well. It is not nice to bully, but overweight people should try to lose weight and being big is not healthy.
@@vixxexo6855 and being thin as a stick is the standard am i right? The girl was talking about people like you. You basically just tell bigger people to lost weight like that. What if they have some illness? What if they have ED? instead of ACTUALLY helping them you come up with "overweight people should try to lose weight". Bullshit fr..
추천 영상으로 떠서 봤는데 두 사람 각각 너무 올곧게 자란... 좋은 애들이다...ㅜㅜ
내 학창시절은 이도저도 아닌 편이었어서 그다지 내 경험과 연관지어지는 건 아니지만
스펙트럼의 양극단에 있다고 할 수 있는 아이들이 외부적인 noise만 없으면 이렇게나 잘 맞을 수 있고,
(주로 외모에 관한) 선입견 하에서 손쉽게 카테고리화되는 게 아니라 개개인으로서 주목받을 때 이렇게 반짝거리는 면모들을 드러낼 수 있다는 사실을 보여준다는 게 참 좋다
It feels nice that they both understood each other's struggles. Both are such sweet girls. I love how the girl on the left got so excited everytime the other girl complimented her. ❤
unpopular does not mean bad, popularity has many factors such as speaking in public or to foreigners, easy to get along with foreigners, can adjust attitude to the atmosphere of the environment, and many other things that make a person popular in the environment around him
Nobody said the opposite but it is sad to not have friends especially for a teenage girl in highschool. I was like this for a year when i was 14 and it wasn’t fun at all.
High school was a very miserable time for me. I didn’t have many friends and for the few friends that I had, there were times in which we had conflicting schedules during school hours and so I would be by myself a lot. And ofc a few of them would talk badly about me behind my back. It was very easy for me to befriend male classmates but it came to a certain point in which I couldn’t be close to them either. Female classmates would slutshame me for talking to their crushes and they thought that I was stealing their crushes. So that caused even more isolation. One instance was when a female classmate took a picture of me sitting next to a male classmate and captioned it: “I feel so bad for him”. A few people who I thought were my friends laughed at it. On a positive note, a lot of people called her a bully and told her to take the post down. I ended up threatening to tell school administrators if she didn’t delete the post. She ended up apologizing and deleting the post but it still damaged me. I didn’t know what I did to offend her in the first place…I always complimented her on her outfit and makeup.
@babypearl I'm so sorry to hear that, this is really sad, I can't imagine the pain you have to go through that time and now. I hope you'll get better, and I'm pretty sure you're an amazing person. This girl was a horrible person, you're doing better?
@@kaenn9177 I graduated from high school 7 years ago. College was a fresh start for me. I was able to keep a couple of true friends from high school and made more friends in university. I realized that I wasn’t the problem. I don’t hate the girls that bullied me in high school. To my understanding, they projected their insecurities onto me. I hope they love themselves now.
Damn this is a story from an anime! That’s crazy. I hope your alright
@@Papalapotato Haha I guess so. I’m Asian American and went to a predominantly Asian American high school. It was tough making close friends in that time but I’ve been thriving for a long time now.
nothing, you did nothing to her. you were just already a target. thats why. its just so easy.
this is world, this is sociality, this is human. I love how they’re being comfortable each other
In high school, I always belonged to the popular group because I was considered "pretty" or attractive enough to be part of it. I had the best grades in my class, but no one ever bullied me because of that. I made some great friendships, some of which I still have to this day. I was actively involved in the volleyball team and went out to parties quite often. However, I couldn't help but feel quite lonely when surrounded by people; regardless of them being my friends, I didn't share the same interests or topics with them. Despite being in the popular group, I was always more quiet and focused on my studies. I enjoyed reading a lot of fantasy books and playing video games (I have older siblings, and it was always my entertainment at home), but I hid that side of me to avoid seeming weird.
In my physics class, there was a boy who was always picked on and alone; even the day I greeted him for the first time, he thought I was mocking him. Slowly, we became very good friends because I finally got to know someone who shared my interests. He introduced me to his group of friends from other schools and their gaming sessions. I remember those weekends as the best in my life. On Fridays, we would get together to play board games or go to a laser tag arena, and on Saturdays, I would go party with my other group of "popular" friends. A few years ago, he told me something that I still remember to this day. He said that without me, he might not have made it out of high school alive. He doesn't know that unintentionally, he also saved me and allowed me to be who I am without any shame. We are still best friends!
If someone is reading this, please remember to be kind. We don't know what others are going through. Let go of your stereotypes because it gives you the opportunity to meet wonderful people
Wholesome comment
Это очень трогательно, моя душа содрогнулась 🥺✨
The fact that this is too related to my situation is honestly surprising. I always love reading fantasy books and painting but i hid that side of me so that they wouldn't think I'm weird. I'm always belonged to the popular groups because they considered me "attractive" and "smart". However, everytime I hangout with them I can't help but feel lonely too, i didn't share interest with them but despite being apart with 'that' group I'm more focused on studying and improving my talents. I'm not against them, they're nice and I'm very thankful that I'm finally with people who share the same interest with me.
You're a great person:>
Ur average asf lol, standard must b low where u are
It took me a good few years after high school to admit I was bullied. I was a shy quiet stereotypical Asian girl only at school. A place where I couldn’t be myself. A place where I was a major people pleaser that let people take advantage of my kindness. The boys woth call and whisper my name but they never replied when I answered. They just giggled. I told them to stop many times but they wouldn’t. One took a photo of me and sent it in the boys snapchat group or something and I felt so insecure and self conscious. I burst out in tears in the class after. I told one of the girls what happened and a counselor came and asked if I was being bullied. I refused to believe they were bullying me. Because I thought I trying my best to fit in so why would they choose me to bully? I never did anything to them or anyone. I just went my own way. It was not physical or verbal bullying So I just thought of it as teasing. I would feel like everyone was judging every move I made. When I would go home , I’d run to my room and cry. I had a 100% attendance record at school 😂 until I made so many excuses to skip school that final year. All the girl friends were fake and only came to me when they needed me. So I didn’t attend graduation and cut everyone off after I finished school. I don’t regret anything. Now I’m 23 and I realized I only need my few close friends in my life :) I’m done with pleasing everyone and I’m super selective about who I consider my friend! I finally prioritize myself and make boundaries. Im telling you boundaries is so important. Don’t let anyone disrespect your boundaries.
I can definitely relate to the part about being bullied and a people pleaser. Jesus, do those things go hand in hand? I've always been friends with people with popular privilege, and admired in a yearning way. A while ago I would've told myself I'd never been bullied but I have, and I've seen it happen to other people, but I remember all the comments even from 2nd grade.
All those racist kids should have turned polka dot, if you know what I mean. I'm sorry you went thru that
I’ve been through similar things this past school year…. Can we chat somewhere, like Reddit? I’m having trouble figuring why people do certain things to me in my past school (I’m transferring high schools for the upcoming school year)…. I honestly refuse to believe they’re bullying me (like you) but I just don’t get why they would tho… I don’t think I’m ugly…
@@bunnywavyxx9524 maybe in a way they know we are people pleasers and they know that we will always try to be on their good side… I think a lot of people thought I was a quiet bitch because I got sick of trying to fit in and pleasing people. I was in the same boat as you! I was on the volleyball team and friends with the popular girls. I learnt a few things that happened… after the day I burst out in tears , they stopped bullying me. I was really on the edge. I tried to play it cool but my heart just went cold. I don’t usually hate people but I hated all of them. I think I ignored them the entire year and never saw them again after :D so I guess I learnt to not play it cool if they’re bullying 😅 get angry, make a fuss, publicly embarrass them for bullying in this day and age.
@@vanilla1353 when I was around your age I always doubted my feelings. I told myself that I know this is only high school and I won’t be in this position after graduating. Can I ask are they verbal and physically bullying you? Or something like what I went through? Have you tried to confront them before ? I don’t think its you’re the reason why they’re bullying you. Bullies just pick on everyone to try and hide their insecurities. Bullies are the major people pleaser here. They pick on people for the reaction and audience. They want to feel validated. So don’t blame or think you are the reason they are bullying you! Always stand up for yourself. It’s such an embarrassing thing that people still find validation in bullying others. You will get through this, trust me :) Just never stoop as low as them. I really find investing in yourself, like self care , exercising, working on a project/hobbie a great way to destress. You’re focus will be on yourself and you won’t give a damn about anyone else.
10:23 I relate to her so much, mostly because of that specific part. I was never scared of sexual harassment because I didn’t really think about it too much, but ever since I was about 15 I’ve gotten harassed by not only strangers but also people I knew since I was little. I became really conscious about by environment ever since and I get super suspicious with adult men especially, where it reaches a point of some kind of paranoia. I’m really sorry for feeling like that towards random people who haven’t done anything to me but I can’t help it since it’s unfortunately become such a frequent part of my life.
Omg i hope you're doing better now
@@uninice4506 Ty sm it really means a lot
@@pennify2079 no problem
Yes. I'm in pretty category i guess but i got unlimited numbers of dirty looks from men and it makes me self-conscious. I avoid wearing revealing clothes. It really makes me feel suspicious, anxious and disgusted.
@@illegallyliving8357 yeah Ik exactly how you feel, my mom would always tell me it’s my fault for wearing a dress and always kinda meanly hint at every single older man she saw looking at me to make me feel bad. So for me it didn’t really come from myself but rather my mother was the first one who made me insecure on purpose:/
i also think it is important to note that beauty doesnt always mean popularity. there are some people who are very pretty but not popular because they dont know how to "act". It is honestly an art to get what you want out of a group of people. Moreover, I have a different experience with popularity. I am very popular with certain groups of people but ont with others. I think it is to do with language, interests and different academic backgrounds. Some of them respect me a lot and the others don't respect me at all!
You’re absolutely correct. I wasn’t a stunner in school but I think I’m slightly above average when it comes to looks. Yet I was always the background friend that nobody cared about. Instead of becoming popular among peers, people started developing jealousy towards me. Being pretty but not popular, people felt obligated to treat me however they want. Everyone knew me cause I’m like half pretty but no one cared enough to stick up for me, I felt so isolated. I still don’t know if things would’ve been different if I acted differently like you said.
Absolutely valid point. I think it's relatively easier for you to get along with people and then become popular just because people would want to be friends with you but other than that, I agree with everything you said
I already replied to you, but still, I feel this. But there wasn't really a problem with them, but also sad because I'm not that noticeable enough, that I end up being a people pleaser. In the end, its roots in my not being confident about myself.
I’m autistic and that was my experience. The mean girls wanted to be my friends at first and then when they realized I couldn’t read social cues they didn’t wanna be my friends anymore. I ended up getting bullied by them. I had less peace than people that were considered complete weirdos.
@@SoggyMuffin007same
very great to see from both ends of the spectrum. I personally think they seem both very kind people, they both are brave talking about such personal issues with such honesty. I find it honestly a bit sad when people only see a pretty person just as being someone pretty, like that would be their only character trait. not all people who don't fit in strict beauty norms are kind and not all pretty people are mean and silly. I wish both of them success and true friends
so glad the title changed because I was so shocked when I got a notification from the channel and it called the other girl ugly. I just so happy that the girl learned to be open to herself and learned some self-love as well🥰🥰
This channels offers nothing but the absolute best. We couldn't thank them enough.
I wish all popular kids could be like Yujin, she seems nice. Also, poor Jiahn
Yes, most of the popular kids/student in my place will choose to become a bully and the target are people like Jiahn 😢
Yujin is the perfect example of what I would call “innocent popular” or the “princess friend” in a group. People like her get special treatment, whether they are aware of it or not. Yet she doesn’t let all of that attention mess with her ego. We need more people like her
@kelapatepirumah that sounds awful, it sounds like they need to watch and learn from Yujin
@@SoggyMuffin007 I agree 100%
Im prettier than them hmu
It was so nice that right away, Yujin immediately looked passed physical appearance and see someone for who they are on the inside. Both of them are beautiful. It’s sad that Jiahn is discriminated against. Beauty is beyond skin deep.
For anyone struggling with not being popular in school. It gets better! It took me so so long to find a group of friends who actually understood me and included me in plans. I was unpopular and very unconfident in grade school and even into high school/college. But once I grew into myself and became more confident being just me, people liked me more and more. Younger me would not believe how older me could turn out
psa: confidence can't save everyone. In some cases, confidence cannot make up for bad genetics because people are shallow asl
I can't believe people asked Yujin's friend why she was hanging out with her if she didn't wear makeup and didn't get along with males. And that broke their friendship because she probably felt insecure. I can't believe how cruel this world can be. I told myself so many times that those kdrama stories where probably exaggerated and there couldn't exist people who make others suffer so badly. But I just wanted to make me believe that. I hope that, if anyone reads this, remind themselves that you don't have to stop being friends with someone bc someone tells you you're not good enough. So sad
Ji Ahn, no matter what society calls you or how it sees you, the real ones will keep you and stay with you no matter what. And keep protecting your kind and gentle big heart.
Yujin, it's not your fault if society expects a lot from you and if other people won't take you seriously just because you had a little bit of a better life than them. You are living the best you can and as humble as possible.
Life is unfair. That's why it's fair for everyone. How you take it is always your choice. Don't let other people steal that power from you.
I’m fat myself but my best friend is thin and pretty. I don’t mean regular pretty either I mean unfairly pretty. She has long blonde hair and blue eyes and a great facial structure, she could seriously be a model. I always wondered why she even kept me around. You know how girls get in a friendship but it’s secretly a competition? It was never like that with her, she never tried to make me feel bad because of my appearance. In fact she said she doesn’t know why I even think like that at all and that she loves me and she thinks god brought me to be friends with her and she doesn’t know what she’d do without me. I was a little shocked at this…but I felt the same. We’ve been best friends for 10 years now, she calls me her sister. I don’t live in the same place anymore, I moved far away but every month we call and talk and sometimes we even get a plane ticket to visit each other. It really doesn’t matter how you look, you can find a really amazing friend.
THIS IS SO CUTE!! I wish i could have a friendship like yours, really!
@@_mooonchild I hope you find a friendship like this one day!
You have your soulmate quarter of your life, and I envy that.
This channel can fix this title. The girl is not ugly, and they don't deserve to have her on this video if they can't respect her while she is taking her time for them.
They fixed it
@@mrpepperspraywhat was the title before?
@@pizzaghozia I don't really know but from the comments, I guess it could've been pretty girl vs ugly girl.
Girl has clear skin dimples nd perfect glossy hair, and a lovely deep voice and sweet expressions and vibe, she's a cutie! I'd be friends with her for sure
@@mrpepperspray Yes. I see. That is good that they did.
Damn she be living the k drama life, truth be told I match the society’s general beauty standards to a good extent but I’ve always been ignored, not taken seriously and just straight up disrespected. Last year I started to appreciate myself instead of seeking appreciation. Yah, I prefer jeans but atleast I can breathe in my clothing and move however I want. Now my grades are back to normal, I’ve been putting more effort into sports and life is feeling amazing.
Great for you
I agree with Yujin, Jiahn managed to stay positive and cheerful despite of what happened to her, that is impressive.
I agree that painful experiences really shape someone up, but I also believe no one deserve to get bullied or harrassed over anything.
한국어로 된 댓글은 죄다 악플인 반면에 영어로 된 댓글은 응원댓글이라는게... 참 우리나라 사람들 ㅡㅡ
It's uncanny how i relate to them both so much hahahaha. I was bullied in kindergarten everyday for having a really tan skin and in elementary, how i was treated differently in different lights due to my shifting appearance like getting really very skinny like a skeleton (due to some illnesses i had causing me to have very little appetite) and gaining lots of weight (yes i turned overweight) after i recovered and took a lot of vitamins. Short hair, long hair, headbands, fashion and different hairstyles, change of skin tones shifting between darker shade and lighter tones... I witnessed how appearances causes people on how they treat you. When i was going through my puberty in 1st year junior high, i got my first confession from a guy in the senior year who i didn't know and i found out who the guys in my same year level took interest in me for the first time. I wasn't happy or upset or anything, i was just so used to being treated differently so many times that i don't think i understood what love is at that time. Even now, I'm turning a senior this year and i still haven't dated anyone and I'm more comfortable and happy to keep it that way. I just prefer to focus in studies (not that I'm a top student lol) but also, i just want to spend more fun times and memories with my friends before i change schools again.
so eye opening.. their interaction was done very well and i’m glad this didn’t go wrong because execution is so important 😭 both very kind hearted souls
I can relate to both of them.. Until Middle School I used to have baby fat and wasn't considered that pretty and I was a nerd (still am).. Ppl used to not treat me nicely, especially the popular ones. They only came to me to either tease me or when they wanted something..But after I hit puberty my baby fat reduced, I started taking care of myself like skincare which I didnt do before and I started looking "pretty".. Ppl started treating me differently even though I hadnt changed much internally.. Thats when I understood Pretty privilege.. I changed schools in high school and started experiencing the stuff the girl on the right said.. I became popular, I got confessions for a lot of guys, girls wanted to be frnds with me... The same guys who teased me in middle school now wanted to "be frnds" and confessed to me.. I couldnt believe how drastic my experiences were.. I am in clg rn and it still sometimes difficult to process stuff like this..
can't get over your username 🤭🤭 and ur pfp🔥🔥
U have insta? I’m a girl btw not a creep 😅
@@MamaChocho-bd4rg ayee not all men✋😂
jiahn seems like such an angel it’s crazy to me how she isn’t in a large social circle
I’ve been bullied and have experienced trauma from men too, so I could deeply relate to both of them. I’m glad they had such a lovely conversation and could connect with each other 💖 This makes me want to try to make more friends 😂
as someone whom people around me categorized as pretty, I also experienced the same concern as Yujin. I got SA-ed when I was young by older man and since then I can't really go outside by myself because every time I see older man that I don't know personally, I would be very afraid of the possibility that something like that could happen again to me.
I wouldn't deny that this look privileged me in some ways and I'm grateful to be this way, but I just want to say that being "pretty" also comes with disadvantages. personally, I'm always afraid to voice this opinion because people would say something along the lines, "but at least you're pretty" or "just be grateful that you're pretty" and those words shaped my mindset into thinking that all of my achievement is possible because I'm pretty and I can't never be "less pretty" or else I would be reduced into nothing. I know this mindset is stupid but I can't help it. I found myself crying even when I looked fine because I was supposed to be "the pretty girl". I also can't say anything about my insecurities because people would tell me that I was fishing for compliments. I didn't mean anything like that. I was just sharing about my insecurities like when they told me theirs. (so why is it valid if it's theirs but mine is not?) I'm not trying to be ungrateful, really. I understand that it must be hard for them to go through such experiences so I always tried to emphatize and listen to their concerns. but why did I feel that being "pretty" stripped me of any right to have my own concern and insecurities? I want to be heard too. I truly didn't want to sound ungrateful, I'm sorry if anything I typed gave such impression. I didn't mean it like that.
this opinion does not mean that I disregard people who had received the same treatment as Jiahn since I also loathe how people could be so cruel and discriminate people only by looks. me being grateful for privilege that I got also does not necessarily mean that I want the "pretty" to forever have this privilege. I don't mind losing this privilege if it means equality in how people would treat each other regardless of their looks. I hope there will be days when things like "the pretty" and "the not-pretty" would perish and people could live their life comfortably.
I'm sorry if the words that I typed offended anyone and if it's too long (I'm too afraid to voice this offline lmao). please, always be happy whenever and wherever you are!
God the world is a cruel place I'm sorry you had to go through that
The fact that you apologized multiple times and kept reiterating that you’re not trying to be ungrateful shows just how much your feelings have been invalidated, so sorry you went through all that. Stay strong
I think everyone's pain is understandable and deserves to be voiced since we all have different experiences. Sharing your perspective is okay since your pain is still yours and you can tell it clearly hurt you. You also shared how you did have pretty privilege which is something amazing! I'm proud of you for sharing this comment :))
Your feelings are valid, thank you for sharing your experiences
thank you for sharing this. ive also always been categorized as such, but i usually avoid saying anything that sounds like a complaint because i know people will say stuff like "at least you're pretty," so same as your reason. i also went through SA for nearly a decade starting from childhood. at times, it can feel unbearably lonely for me because i feel like i cant tell anyone about my struggles or else they will make me feel like i am ungrateful. you are not alone in this and your experiences, thoughts, and emotions are valid
this video proves that even people considered "pretty" can also be mistreated. both people were harassed in some way, and looks can be troubling to anyone
omg this is the coolest video i’ve seen this year 😭 i’m so happy that you embraced both sides.
They both seem really nice and kind.
I relate to Ji ahn so much, I wasn't called out for being fat directly though but I knew that I was fat and I knew that others thought it too, I would worry about sitting next to others incase I took up too much space and made them feel squished on a bus or even during school assemblies and it doesn't help that I am very tall too. I feel like I take up so much space and its so uncomfortable for me and probably for the person I am sitting with, well its what I think. And a lot of the perfect looking people at school are always worrying that their friends or boy/girlfriends only like them for their looks while I am having to be funny to gain friends, without me being funny and disruptive all the time I would not have any friends, when I don't speak much or become quiet suddenly there's something wrong with me. I even ended my relationship with the only person I am certain I loved due to me being fat, I don't want to be with her because I am afraid she will judge me for it and I believe that she can do better than being with me. The teacher always asks me back in my middle school days to help with lifting the heavy things because I am fat she assumes I'm strong or when the skinnier girl is carrying something heavy people tell me I should do it. I think its unfair, why must I carry what she is holding just because I'm fat? she can do it herself. Is what I think to myself, I became so self conscious I never show my stomach and wear many layers so that my belly appears flat. I will begin losing weight though because I know its unhealthy and I want to feel comfortable in my own skin but I do think these actions and words will be stuck with me forever even if my weight is gone.
I can totally relate with you😢
I used to be fat the majority of my life, and I'll be honest with you the body dysmorphia and how comfortable you feel doesn't really go away. I lost 20 pounds recently, and around the halfway mark I started developing an ED, I'm currently trying to recover so please do be careful when you are losing weight and make sure you are still eating enough. The most important thing is to learn how to love the current you and not the future you, once you learn to love yourself where you are right now, things will become so much easier. A lot of people told me this but never told me how to actually do it. In my experience just start complimenting yourself even if you don't believe it yet, say things to bring up your esteem, don't search for other people's validation but look for your own instead. You got this! Good luck! ❤
I really like both of them a lot. Yujin seems really sweet. It shows that not all popular girls are mean and arrogant. And Jihan isn't like those girls who hate other popular girls just because of her past experience. Its something really heartwarming to see.
im glad they met eachother, they seem like if they would easily be friends for life
Personally, I wouldn't categorize my experiences according to either strata. No one bullied me nor considered me a “popular girl”. My interactions with others were neutral, which consisted of me mostly minding my own business.
So from the perspective of a “bystander”, I'd say that even though they don't choose to be “pretty” or “ugly”, their peers will nonetheless label them as such. Both extremes have their pros and cons.
A “typical bullied person” is always stereotyped as non-attractive, unpretty (even though they have their own unique personality and beauty), and they get the short end of the stick. On the other hand, those who are judged as appealing may be seen as superficial, and their true character may be overlooked.
Everyone should be accepted for who they are, regardless of their physical appearance. It's important to remember that beauty is not only skin deep, and that true acceptance comes from understanding and appreciating someone's character.
But let's be honest, it doesn't hurt to have a great smile and a killer wardrobe either!
I was in an "elevator" school system, where you automatically graduated from one school to another. The structure of it was such that two single-sex schools - one female, one male - would merge into a co-ed school. While I was in the girls' school, things were okay - I had a few good friends that I liked a lot and hung out with. I slept through most of my classes but did fairly well. When we graduated into the co-ed school, however, everything changed. I'm conventionally pretty thanks to braces and contact lenses, and I also happened to make friends with very popular people within the first few days of school. I ended up becoming very high-profile very fast, and it was incredibly stressful for me. Many of my female friends stopped hanging out with me because I spent time with guys, and I got increasingly desperate to retain their friendship, which drove them away even more. I quickly lost the guy friends I had attained because they would confess to me and I would reject them. This led to a ton of bad rumors about me, mostly about me being a bitch, a player, etc. I was incredibly stressed and felt like it was me versus the world. Ironically, when I slid into depression I stopped taking care of myself, stopped doing my hair, wore glasses again - and my new "frumpy" look gave me more anonymity than before and made my life so much easier. I'm no longer depressed and put effort into my appearance again, not for external validation but because investing the energy into myself gives me confidence. Even though looking "pretty" makes me high-profile as a result, I'm also indifferent to other people outside my close circle now: the people who stuck by me through my depression. I only have two close female friends now - they're both popular, but what's important is that they were there for me and have been nothing but genuine in their friendship.
너무 왼쪽분 성격 좋으시다 ........ 리액션도
좋은 영상이다ㅠㅠ외모로 인해 얼마나 험한 말들을 많이 하는지 똑같이 돌려줘야 기분나쁜거 아는 놈이 너무 많아
as someone who grew up unattractive to become stereotypically attractive now , my experiences with people as well as situations changed on a dramatic scale.....which is kinda upsetting. Earlier no one really took initiative to talk and even elders showed partiality in most of opportunities. The only way i coped is getting always 💯 in academics. Even if they neglected me in ways , i was quite known around for my academic achievements. And my friends, who liked me for me , still support and hang around me. But this situation changed the opposite in my college now. I'm now one of the popular girls who became famous for looks. People acknowledge me now. My presence makes an impact. In conversations, people listen till u finish, especially guys. Always someone looking at u whether a boy or girl....in a creepy way. Everyone approached me and wanted something from me.....like taking advantage of my popularity to hang around me so they get recognized....but not in the intention of being my friend. Boys are the worst....they enter as friends but after a few days or months....they confess.....when u reject....they spread really bad rumors about you. Girls always gossip about my sense of dressing and everything. The people i first thought r my friends talked behind my back. Till now, i haven't found a genuine friend in college to trust, although I'm always surrounded by people. The funny part is.....im the most introverted person u will ever find but i realized now i always have some company....even if i don't talk.....they make efforts to talk, which was not the case when i was younger....which is sad. Even professors notice me, especially male ones, and grade me higher, now n then try to engage in conversations with me......which is absolutely disgusting, but i get opposite reactions from female professors who subtlety bully me.
If you ask me which is better......i would say both has its pros and cons......but personally for me when i was unattractive even though i was not noticed much ....i had a peaceful life with full of genuine people around to love me. This comment is purely based on my personal experience . I wasn't trying to hurt anyone with this information. I just want to tell people.... becoming pretty will not end all your life struggles .....everything has their own issues . And pretty girl are not always mean and most of the rumors about them wouldn't be true.
And DON'T reply to this comment.
i relate to Ji Ahn the most. i am someone who has been bullied all my life bc of how i look, when she told the story of how her teacher was telling her things it reminded me of something i went through. I am originally from Mexico but now live in the US and when i came to study as a young child my teacher prohibited anyone from talking to me. I was only in first grade and didn’t understand the language much so i only thought that ppl didn’t talk to me bc i was a different race. funny thing is that many people in my class spoke spanish but they didn’t want to get in trouble. I was only told about this when one of my classmates mom had come clean and apologized for not talking to me sooner. I have had a rougher school life i am still only very young but i have always been bullied bc of my image too. Guys don’t tend to talk to me bc i am not the best looking girl.
I feel this. I was popular at school, had something traumatic happen outside of school then got bullied pretty badly at school/home so I’ve lived both sides of this. I’m not sure if bullying differs from where I live and Korea but from what I’ve seen in kdramas it’s very similar. I hope that both of them are happy and living their best lives
So nice to watch two amazing ladies that are very respectful to one another and truly interested in hearing each others stories 🥰 this taught me that popularity in school doesn’t really matter as much as people might think and there are struggles to both. Instead, focus on being a good person and being authentic to who you are. ❤
I used to be just like Jiahn, now I'm more in the in-between. I used to be fat all my life, and I was always insecure about it, my mom probably never noticed since she is thin, but the backhanded comments were the start of my insecurity. My sister was also extremely thin, and I felt like I gained weight for the both of us. While I was never bullied for being fat specifically, I was bullied for my looks. I'm a brown girl with glasses and I'm nerdy, it's crazy what kids in ELEMENTARY can do. Recently I lost 20 pounds and got an ED in the process, I'm currently trying to recover but I hope that it does get better. So, even though I'm not fat anymore, some of the insecurities still do stay. Considering looks, I'm average, and I feel like I am just unable to get the attention of any boys. I know boys aren't everything but as a hopeless romantic and as the only one in my entire class and friend group without any dating history, I can't help but feel insecure. At times I feel like I am pretty enough to make friends, but not pretty enough to actually have a romantic relationship. I'm working on finding my own self-worth and validation, and I have been on this journey for 7 years already. Even though it may not seem like I made any progress, I know that the younger me would be so happy to see where I am today. For anyone that is also on this journey, now that you are not alone, and hopefully we can all find our own self-worth and happiness soon. ❤
I hope your ED gets better! And kudos on making progress!!
Such a lovely message, thank you.
"Considering looks, I'm average, and I feel like I am just unable to get the attention of any boys. I know boys aren't everything but as a hopeless romantic and as the only one in my entire class and friend group without any dating history, I can't help but feel insecure." - I resonated a lot with these words, being a hopeless romantic myself and having felt like this all throughout middle school and high school. Growing up, every woman I knew, from my aunt to my younger friends, had some romantic experience with boys... and then there I was, not even a hand held to my name. Thanks to my overall personality (aka average teenager) I never got *too* hung up on it, being much too busy thinking about what to do after graduation, what was the point of life, how does a person even know they are living in reality and such (the wonderful experience of the first existential crisis).
Well, turns out it was all for the best - I got to know myself well and became acquainted with various shapes of romantic relationships through my friends, just in time to meet some decent guys at the ripe age of 20. I'm 24 now and looking back I realize that it was when others sensed that I was comfortable with myself that they found me attractive (both as a potential friend and as a potential romantic interest). I wish you well on your journey, so that you fully come to know and respect who you are and what you value. It's a life long journey for most of us, and I hope that yours may be filled with happiness and companionship.
8:00 sexual harassment isn't dependent on popularity or beauty standards. I'm not dismissing what she said, it's just something i think is important for people to know
Please be fr , women who are seen as pretty are more likely to get harassee , Marilyn is a good example and whats your point writing this here? " i am.not dismissing " lol
다 하나같이 사랑스럽고 그나이때만 볼수있는 귀여움이 묻어나는 사람들인데
In some American schools youre pressured to be in the middle and pressured to be chill, ignore everyone, listen to music, not care about anyone, smile sometimes, and make tiny comments, then people will leave you alone and like you. But if you’re energetic, bubbly, and kind, you get picked on and are “trying to be the main character” and if your too quiet and don’t smile or interact you’re “emo” it’s so strange
This is an interesting interview. I can relate so much to both as I've been in both ends of the spectrum, growing up unpopular and the girl with the "four eyes" during high school to suddenly popular in college. Unfortunately I feel once a child is made to feel lesser than others among peers, their self confidence doesn't really recover even if they have a glow up. Even now I still feel like I'm not good enough for many things because of how my past experiences has shaped me 😕
It must be hard for Jiahn to keep that cuz she said she never told anyone before. She's so brave and so cool that finally can shares it with Yujin. I'm so proud of her❤
I'd love to be friends with the girl in the left. Her energy is so warm . Her voice and the way she's talking is giving me comfort
I was what you call a ‘background invisible character’ during my middle school and high school days. I never stood out, but I wasn’t shamed for the way I looked. Fortunately, I was never bullied during middle or high school and I consider myself extremely grateful for that. I find it ridiculous that I’m grateful because I shouldn’t be; it shouldn’t have come to the point where people should be feeling grateful for not being bullied, but it has. Although I do have a story that hurt me a lot back when I was 14, now I see it as a place to grow.
Like I said, I wasn’t popular, but I wasn’t bullied. I had a friend group, but there was one girl who I would always hang out with along with another boy. The boy (we’ll call him D) had a crush on the girl (we’ll call her L). I knew this and she was aware too. She was pretty and I questioned multiple times why she was hanging around with me instead of hanging out with the multiple friend groups she had. I soon found out that I was being used as a ‘charity’ friend and she soon completely (and randomly) started ignoring me in favor of hanging out with a much popular girl in my class. D liked L, so as much as he would hang out with me, the minute she was in his presence, he would ditch me and hang out with her instead. Of course I had a friend group, but it wasn’t the same because one of the closest friends I had completely ignored me in favor of being popular. High school came around and I realized that being friends with someone shouldn’t feel like a chore or an obligation. If you enjoy their presence, hang out with them, if you don’t, then leave. But don’t leave without saying anything because it hurts, trust me. And if you’re going to be friends with someone, be truthful about it and don’t abandon them for popularity.
Omg, I’m so sorry that you had to go through. No one deserves to be treated that way ugh, I hope you’re in a better place now ❤
i love how they’re just having such an honest conversation about their experiences
지안아! 고등학교 동창이야 요즘 여기저기에서 네 얼굴을 많이 볼 수 있어서 좋아 고등학교 생활 내내 밝은 모습만 보고 너의 리더십에 감탄하다 이 영상을 보니 생각보다 넌 우리가 모르는 아픔이 많았구나 그런 아픔이 있는 줄은 아예 모를 정도로 항상 분위기 잘 끌어올려주고 남들 잘 돕고 그랬다는 게 정말 대단하다 어린 나이인데도 그렇게 어른스러운 모습만을 보여줬다는 게 놀라워 개인적으로 연락하기엔 애매해서 댓글로 남기지만 언젠간 이 댓글 보고 네가 누군가에겐 정말 긍정적인 영향만을 미치는 좋은 존재라는 걸 알았음 해 이지안 배우 파이팅! 늘 응원할게
The girl who called herself *fat* is so cute and pretty being honest..❤ both are different beauties In a same frame❤
Jiahn is such a beautiful human being
In a society where adults and even teachers bully a child, you cannot prevent children or teenagers from bullying someone. In the end, You can't teach an old dog new tricks.
It can be prevented if people would just stop being intolerant of each other and stop being selfish
“ugly girl”… bye she’s not ugly
I know right she's so cute and has a nice personality
Fugly
She is physically but that's fine. We shouldn't let that keep us down but rather work towards improvement. Lying to her is not helping her. It's like the little kids when their grandmothers tell them they are the most handsome and once they get to school they get a reality check.
It's important to be honest, without being hurtful or the disappointments in your life will be bigger. You'll be thankful later in life to those who were honest with you.
@@Manic_Panic LYING TO HER?? she’s beautiful idc what you say
@@Manic_Panic you equate being fat to be ugly you’re opinion is invalid it’s not the 60s anymore
as a person whos experienced both sides, its sooo weird knowing that there's no good in both sides. there's always going to be a negative experience huhu
I think that there are pros and cons to both after experiencing both sides of it
But let’s be honest, one side is way better than the other side
@@scorpiio1665not true but what matters most is how you see yourself. Always be kind and open minded. Being kind and open minded, you don’t loose anything because you are still a good person. Maybe some people may be prettier or smarter than you because of beauty standards but the moons beauty doesn’t take away the flower’s beauty. You have to remember that they are standards and not factual. Standards change, people’s opinions aren’t all the same. How you perceive yourself is far more important than what other people say. It says more about a persons intentions and personality than their outer appearance. Your charm will only get you so far if you don’t work hard and be nasty. People will always be unsatisfied with who they are and their life no matter what spectrum you are in. You will always be unsatisfied until you accept who you are. Yeah pretty privilege exists but it doesn’t mean that everyone is willing to treat you like a human. People assume on both sides that you are someone you are not and may take advantage of you. Live and be happy 🫡🫡
Be more gentle and forgiving to yourself. I promise it’s all just a superficial thing and it’s gonna make you regret caring so much when you get older
@@scorpiio1665yea for sure
@@scorpiio1665One side is extremely isolated and not in the "some of my friends are shallow/fake" sense. It's in a "being discriminated against and seen as inferior for your entire life for being unattractive, and you never get to go anywhere, and people are always rude to you when you try" sense. No parties. No prom. No sleepovers. No trips. No nothing. Its as in you always having to be the one to approach people to try and get to know them and many of them go "oh yeah, sure" while being dismissive and actually never wanting to interact with you again despite not knowing anything about you. They just want you to leave them alone and make way for the "normal" people.
Everyone is beautiful, but not everyone know how to appreciate every kind of beauty...
As an unpopular girl who gets bullied and made fun of,i always thought that the popular girl's lives are the best.its a dream come true and everything.that is until i became friends with a popular girl,then i saw the threats and insults from her lovers and somebody's girlfriends. And the creep teachers,that one female teacher who indirectly s*utshamed her.then i knew that the world is cruel for everyone
Some Pretty girls could get bullied by someone who is jealous of them
these girls are both so kind and understanding. i hope they become friends
I think both of you are beautiful and nice in your own way. I love how both of you cheer each other up even though you both are not friends or anything. I love these kinds of contents. I hate how people judge one by their appearance or size.
This is so refreshing to see. Because I'm the type of person that grew up constantly saying sorry for actions I can't control or something I know I don't need to be sorry for just existing. To see two worlds existing side by side together is like a new world where peace and happiness could possibly exist.
I wish I had something like this and I honestly feel like the girl to the left feels a lot more better about herself. I wish them both nothing but the best
It’s so hard watching my younger siblings go through some teenage struggles and feeling hopeless in how I can help them. All we can do is tell our kids we love them and how wonderful they are not because of how they look, but simply because they’re themselves ❤
Both are beautiful in their own way 😭❤️
Jiahn is the sweetest person ever!!! I hope to see way more of her on the channel!!! Hope she has lots of friends that love her from now on!! ❤❤❤
나두 다음생엔 예쁜외모로 고통없이 살고싶다
theyre both such sweethearts and Jiahn
deserves the world, shes been through such
hardships bcs people dont like the way she looks.
These 2 beautiful ladies deserve the best.
I would love to be friends with Jiahn. She seems so fun to be with. On the other hand, i can relate to the popular girl.
i sincerely think they are both beautiful and they seem so kind! i hope life goes well for them
I'm crying while listening to the unpopular one's story. I feel like I've been struggling with that kind of discrimination since I was a child. Although I'm not fat but I have a lot of insecurities. I feel like I don't have anything in my life to be proud of. I have a red birthmark on my face and my teeth is overbite. I'm also skinny and short. My classmates doesn't usually notice me as their crush or something that they would admire. I also have an average intellectual. I hope there is a world that full of insecure people so we don't notice a lot of differences.
I’m someone who has been on both sides of the spectrum and it’s a culture shock at how people treat you differently. I grew up from K-8th grade ugly but not incredibly unpopular. I had to really push at my intellect and my humor for people to find me fun to hang around with. Though, it was usually from people in the same boat as me. It wasn’t until my “glow up” freshman year-sophomore year that people started seeing me as a love interest or pretty. I had my first confession at a football game my first semester of my freshmen year, around the time I started discovering style and makeup and whatnot. I’m not super popular by any means, but i’ve noticed a flip in who talks to me. People who I would’ve been close to my elementary to early middle school years are now shy to talk to me and more popular girls are easy going with me. I’ve also gotten more love confessions, but due to this rapid change of attention towards me, I’ve never been able to let them down properly. It’s due to my insensitivity that i’ve hurt people that way. I figured that always being the fat funny friend, people would just move on if nothing was happening between us. But I see now that it was wrong of me to take people’s feelings lightly. I also have a boyfriend now after so many years of failed crushes. Though he’s plenty cute, i’ve been told by other people that we don’t look good together, or that I could do better. I’ve had people give me a 😒 face when I show them a picture of us. It infuriates me how shallow people are. I’ve always wondered if this kind of treatment would’ve lasted if I was who I was back then still…
I was never bullied to that extent but this made me cry knowing that a lot of us unattractive people out here always have and are still going through discrimination and cruelty no matter how much effort we put into of trying to love ourselves and trying to be good people.
I am so happy for Jianh! She grew up to be such a wonderful person and didn't let her experiences define who she was. She is such a strong individual. I wish more people were like her. But also this must have taken so much, I am sad for all the things she could have experienced but didn't. Hope everyone's school experience could be happy and fulfilling.
Like u see the way the attractive girl sits and laughs and moves, its more elegant and reserved, probably also a result from the constant attention and praises from others. The other chubby girl she is more open and lively with her actions and mannerism, which is more welcoming and soothing.
Girl in glasses is nothing worse than another one. Shes so nice, kind and deserve love and understanding
Hope everyone will feel good and be happy 🍀
I relate with Yujin at 10:21 that’s the reason why I always wear oversized clothes in public
The thing is sexual harassers will always be sexual harassers regardless of what you’re wearing, it is not your fault nor your duty to change yourself.
@@tekla_ you're totally right, but i guess a person who is in those kind of situations just feels like changing the way they dress is easier than changing the gross mindset of hundreds of people. i still agree tho, clothes are just an excuse used to try & get away with it.
@@youresonarak yeah exactly, people immediately feel like they are the one in charge to change something when it’s not really in their control. It’s so sad
Sexual harassers will harass even if you are an androgynous looking child, as long as you are viewed female looking enough in their eyes, stay safe out there and avoid dodgy places without accompaniment ❤
This video once again shows us to never judge a person by their appearance... whether skinny, fat, tall, short, "pretty", "ugly" - everyone has their own struggles and stories..
Lee Jiahn is such a sweet girl, she didn't deserve how she was treated back then. This world is so cruel
And Yujin deserves to be harassed.
aaaa i love how they talk to each other warmly through this opportunity🥹💖
“I envy you.”
“I respect you.”
10:45
Wow, I get both sides but I’m honestly quite speechless at the difference between both of them