It's a difficult thing to crawl out of, too. I still find myself tending to trust animals before people. Animals do not seem to have the hidden motives that some people do.
Oh, parents... They've got so much "power" to shape how a child turns out to be as an adult I really hope and pray that all the current and future parents (like myself, maybe) are mature, responsible and loving enough to make the lives of their children a beautiful experience (not just happy, but to teach them how to face tough times as well)
I hope we as adults stop judging our parents and take responsibility for our own actions. I hope as many adults as possible acknowledge that their parents did as much as they could with what they knew at the time, so we can forgive and start healing.
Maybe a word of advice from a kid with an extremely loving dad, be supportive of your child. Always be supportive of them. Being there by their side if you can when there are things that are deeply important to them will help them grow like they nor you could ever imagine. I'm 18 and slowly moving into adulthood, and I am lucky enough to have a father who gives 100% of his effort to help me navigate through all the fear. The fear is still there, but it's a little more manageable when you have a loved one by your side. As kids, we look up to you guys more than anyone else in the world. At the end of the day, I think think the best thing a parent could do for their kids is to make them feel seen.
This breaks my heart…for those of us who were born into unloving homes. We were left alone in our cribs, touched very little in a loving gentle way, touched in a violent way by our own parents, neglected in every way. Videos like this make me cry because I know there is nothing I can do to change the fact that my own parents didn’t want me. I (we) do the best I can to soothe myself decades later.
This video hurt my soul. Being adopted this video accurately portrays the terror that filled my first few weeks of life where when I screamed out, no one was there. I’ve been soothing myself and chasing a ghost ever since.
"Let him cry." "Quit babying him." "Don't pick him up." "You're teaching him to cry." "He needs to learn to not rely on others." "He's going to be a wuss when he grows up."
Jennifer Grove Really? I thought people were more evolved now on parenting. The difference in child appropriateness of cartoons is miles better than what it was when I was a kid. There was so much violence in cartoons I never realized till I had my own child.
this was one of the biggest social failures ever: tough "love" (you can blame people like Dr James Dobson). This is so counterintuitive, and also is the complete opposite of the history of mammalian and particulary human history--to ignore one's baby to make it tougher. It only makes for a very unhappy and scared and insecure person, and creates a hardening in the mother's heart when the baby does not stop crying.
The parts about feeing as if one doesn't "earn" sleep and the "defensive independence" instead of kindly asking for soothing hit so hard. Instant flowing tears realizing what I and a friend of mine have been putting ourselves through after nearly fatal, heart shattering breakups.
someone said i’m a soothing person so i’m here more to let everyone know that ITS OKAY. Whatever you are going through... IT IS OKAY. Everything is okay. don’t be too hard on yourself ❤️
Why would you deserve it less than anyone else? Imagine how much more you can give to others if you decided you are worthy of soothing and love. Look into self compassion...it’s an antidote ❤️
You do and you are! The same universe that needs flowers, oceans and birds needs a you too. Keep watching school of life and it sinks in. Lesson I'm learning myself.
This is a late response and I hope you’re feeling a little better today but I just wanted to say something I’ve learned. It can be hard to allow others to give you gifts and love when it feels like you don’t deserve it.… like you haven’t done anything to earn it. But a thought like that doesn’t make sense. Since when was love something you had to earn?? AND if someone does make you feel like that… that you have to earn their love and respect, forget them. Living with parents like that, for example, can be tricky. You can feel trapped, completely dependent on them, and undeserving of respect. BUT you always have a choice, you give yourself the choice, and you go and don’t look back and become nothing like them. You do better. Because that’s the upside to growing up, you get the chance to reteach yourself into the person childhood you can be proud of. (Sorry. That last part was more personal but I wasn’t sure what your current situation is)
This is a beautiful video, when i feel like nothing is going right i hug and pat myself on the back till i fall asleep. Really helps most of the time, but it's hard to reach your own back lol They say that you should talk to yourself how you would to a child. It puts things in a new and hopeful perspective, amazing what we can do if we just change a little bit of the mindset.
I can't really soothe myself or other people but when my dog gets scared idk it just feels so natural to me to hold her and pet her and use a soft voice to assure her that she's safe and everything will be okay :)
Your videos changed my life. This video in particular blew me away. When you articulated what I had no words to describe I felt seen in a way I never have. You helped me find myself. This video showed me where to start. I will never be able to adequately express how grateful I am to every single one of you who make these videos possible. I revisit these ideas and videos whenever I struggle and they always remind me that I can and will get through any problem I'm faced with with as much grace and dignity I can. Thank you all. 🖤🖤🖤
It's crazy how spot on these videos are with my life. But it's good to remember that it's not just me that feels this way. It's millions of others. If it wasn't the case, school of life wouldn't have an audience. I hope we can all find comfort within ourselves, from our own psyche to the people that surround us.
I've watched tons of videos from The School of Life and Psych2Go and both of those channels have done more for my emotional, mental and physical health than any kind of therapy has ever done for me. It answers questions I've always had but could never receive a proper answer to, it reassures me within my thoughts, gives me comfort and courage that I will last and get through this and that I am not alone in this but surrounded by many who wish to be found as I do. My life is slowly improving as a result and I even had the courage to sit at a table with a stranger and strike up a conversation, which went well might I add and though it didn't lead to anything, the simple act allowed me to better be able to do it again, despite the outcome.
Can be really difficult though when others are really stubborn when it comes to changing their behaviour. They like to flee themselves into consumables.
I naturally touch and soothe others too, SG, probably because I was well loved and soothed as a child. I was shocked and embarrassed when I was about 12 and a couple of fellow boy scouts noticed this and loudly denounced me as a "poof." I wasn't gay, but I cut down on touching.
Love this! Thank You Alain. I work in mental health and often my clients have such low tolerance to frustration they dysregulate and seek relief through substances. I love offering your videos to bring group topics into focus .
5 30 2018 Hey Ana, It's great that you named the presenter-Alain. I too agree he has perfect pronunciation which, to me, is very soothing. Be well. v P.S.: I hope he doesn't mind be named?
Virginia Tyree thanks, you too! No, I don't think that he minds. He wrote several books as well, it's his name on them so.. SoL wouldn't be SoL without Alain and also him alone couldn't accomplish so much by himself :) we're all interconnected
I was talking about this with my psychologist yesterday. I had a really bad panic attack and this video sums up why. It's ok to ask for soothing from someone else. You are talking care of yourself by asking for help, it's not a burden to people because you are the one making decisions. Practice asking for little things first and you'll see how good it feels and how empowering it is.
Great video, especially when my generation's soothing has been reduced to a voiceless, remote, and generic kiss/hug emoji, or an "RIP" comment to calm the loved ones of someone who just passed. We need to step our game up and bring the warmth of "being there" back into the equation of soothing
You're right. Assuming the person is mentally mature and can take you seriously and won't make fun of you for caring for them that way. A lot of us wants to do it and a lot of us are afraid to do it at aswell. So I guess I'll just shut up and keep it in me.
Purple ur perspective is valid, i didn't consider it, I think the solution lies on both ends of the transaction because even as receivers we are not used to such empathy and compassion anymore mostly bc we haven't been exposed to a healthy dose of it when we were younger
4:11-4:30 "we may mistake a capacity to soothe for weakness or naivety. We may take the soother for a fool....unable to ask for it nicely..." I've done this..I didn't understand why those feelings were so intense and there in the first place. Especially with people I cared for and cared for me. Intergenerational trauma is worth looking into for insight. Thank you for your posts
Another great message that feels right on time in my own journey. Another well-done video. Thank you for bringing us these timeless, important thoughts!
i havent cried in ages but this made me bawl. i've had such a hard time in asking for help that i've been through too much pain and mental struggle by myself. this video was kinda like a big hug.
dunno if im right, but someone who has soothed me, didnt say a word to me and just was there, sometimes its just physical contact or empathy, i find physical soothing very curing, since i have hardly ever experienced it in childhood or even at all, i believe it depends on the kind of hurt
Most people on the Internet seem to think it means giving advice, then getting pissy when you don't thank them, tell them you'll try that and then immediately feel better. ...must be why I don't disclose on the Internet much anymore... Agos is right. Sometimes just being held is like 99% of the solution. Ask permission first, tho. Sometimes people can't handle being touched. If they can't handle being touched, just stay close and don't freak out. Stay calm and give them loving awareness. Not 🤪😜🤓🤡 Just 😌 The other last 1% is telling them you love them no matter what. Then, share some awesome food or tea. ☕🥐☕
I really love this video. It touches what is at the root of passive childhood trauma that so many of us experience, that is feeling that our world is unsafe and that we are alone in and powerless to be with and ease our suffering.
Every video feels like a chilling, refreshing cleanse of the soul. It feels like coming out of a translucent, now unsure tunnel, into clean light. Every video genuinely transforms some part of my deeply rooted philosophy into something veering towards a healthy mindset, so thank you, SOL
In 'Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man', first chapter, when baby Stephen was formulating thought and words, smells and sounds he was learning to make sense of... life.. You perfectly captured that thought to me, reminding me of when I read Joyce's ...'Portrait' years ago. I never quite felt the same way reading any other author since...But today watching this video brought me back to that book by that author who I do feel would LOVE your own stream of consciousness of your little baby, that fresh new life that needs 'soothing' ...that you conveyed here. xo (I'm certain, Joyce would be delighted with this, AND much of your work BTW)..
Scary to be in a world where a kind touch from others is met with fear and unfamiliarity. I shudder at times from touch; especially from men. I am learning to self- soothe, yet it is one of the most difficult acts. Thank you, as always💗
I just love what you do for people, myself included. It is truly valuable and so many of these lessons ring true, not in a general or cliche way. Thank you.
It’s like picking thoughts off of my mind in sequence in putting it in sensible words n comforting voice !!! Oh m so broken I could never cry enough !!!
This was a beautiful video. I might suggest that it be titled 'The importance soothing', as it doesn't really give pointers on *how* to help sooth someone. But I'm being pedantic. Really lovely!
Honestly the part at the near end at minute 2 is so comforting to me, even the "screw them" part, i often get even sadder when people try to comfort me 'n end out blaming things on other but that part just... really makes me happy.
Thank you. My paid time off is over and I am returning to a deeply dysfunctional workspace full of bullies which in the recent past has taken me to very dark places.
Watching the beginning of this video, reminded me of my earliest memory, from the cot no more than a year old. It was a wakemare, I recall the bars of the cot, the hallucination, the layout of the room, and I was terrified. Obviously I couldn't talk at that time, but I knew I needed my parents, so I cried and cried until my Dad came in, and the hallucinations disappeared. He would have had no idea why I was crying, but it was a great sense of relief when he arrived. Until the internet arrived I thought it strange, and somewhat impossible that I could remember this far back, but the memory still resonates with me clearly many decades on, and I discovered sometimes others can recall things from when they were babies too.
My self soothing started @50. I was sitting on my hair, getting it caught in doors ect. It was so heavy too. got rid of it, shaved it all off in an independent moment, what a relief! 3yrs ago I shaved it. It grows fast! I'm thinking of a Mohawk if I do let it grow. I love being free from the tyranny of hair!😁
Today I broken up with and kicked out my 'boyfriend' because he threatened me and then physically abused me. Over these last two years I have wondered about what our issues were and I did exactly what this video said I would do.. I isolated myself and kept silent when he mistreated me with his lashing out.. I knew something was wrong but I couldn't understand what it was.. I couldn't see that he needed soothing from me and I needed it from him and that neither of us knew how to give it.. This video has touched my broken heart and settled my nervous mind. The hurt marks will fade and I will recover.. but the best part is now being able to understand what I've been going through. To my family and friends who support me, and the people who took a moment of their lives to bring this video into the lives of others (like me), and to anyone else who is willing to take a few hits in order to stand their ground and do what is right for the goodness that is their existence: Thank-you, very much, for living as you do!
Its interesting how much influence our parents have on our life, especially our psychological well being in the adulthood, when we believe were long independent from our parents.
I feel such gratitude to you all at School of Life for the comfort, understanding, and fellow-feeling you bring to our lives. Thank you! I want to understand soothing ourselves and others, but please don't assume that all viewers were deprived of soothing, or indeed suffer from any of the problems you describe. I was fortunate enough to have wonderful parents who loved and soothed me. A small, less-important aside: why are the characters in some animations so revolting?
Learning to self soothe when you didn't have soothing as a child is so difficult. Then when we decide to ask for it, often we are refused even a kind word as so many others also lacked compassionate parents. I find my soothing in animals. They tend to be much kinder and more available than people.
This is absolutely one of my favourite videos on this channel, and brought me to tears. I very much identify with the little green figure that shouts and gets mad in the face of help. It's tricky and I didn't realise what it could stem from. But anyway, thank you. :)
Fascinating, to say the least. I've spent my whole life feeling aline, told and showed i was wrong. I'm naturally soft inside and have longed for better human nature, but conscience enough to know we all have faults and are influenced by so many things. I now understand it is an individual thibg. Some are king, some are mran and some just dgaf either way. Truth, some do have it harder than others, but that isn't the factor that stops happiness, at all. I hope to one day feel a sense of gratitude for the many folks who have showed me ugly behavior, as it is this that has taught me my greatest lessons. I do wish more people would recognize but i undetstand human nature at my age. We're all full of this BS, some check themselves, some go all in on it. Thank you
This video comes at the right moment for me. Some things i've been worried about the last weeks now seem a lot clearer to me. I now see that i did withdraw into defensive independence because i needed soothing so desperately in an emotionally stressful time. I will try to comunicate my need for soothing to the people i am close to. Thank you for making this video
Simultaneously hilarious (imagery and phrasing) and starkly factual (subject matter and delivery). I love AdB and SOL videos. Now to go cry in a corner... 😅
This channel I don’t always agree with however the fact that it shows viewpoints in a fresh light is what I enjoy. Great job school of life, keep up the great work. Also kudos to the animators and editors
The mere voice is soothing
Love his voice animation and wholesome explanation
Alain❤️
*Yes, indeed.* ♥️
2021 blessings 🙏 for all.
💚
I agree, like a warm hug.
Alain❤
"withdraw into defensive independence", ouch, that hit me hard.
Hi Nanna. Me too!
Thank you
I winced a little too
It's a difficult thing to crawl out of, too. I still find myself tending to trust animals before people. Animals do not seem to have the hidden motives that some people do.
This channel is changing my life for the better and I'm grateful for it
alex andar preach!!!
Same.
Same! I can't stop watching the videos. I'm learning so much
People who give this video a thumbs down are in serious need of soothing.
Lol
@Niloufer Hakim Yeah
I found this comment soothing 💆♀️
@Matthew Wilson he was talking from the perspective of an infant child. I think it makes perfect sense
I gave it a thumbs down because it doesn't offer suggestions contrary to the title
Oh, parents... They've got so much "power" to shape how a child turns out to be as an adult
I really hope and pray that all the current and future parents (like myself, maybe) are mature, responsible and loving enough to make the lives of their children a beautiful experience (not just happy, but to teach them how to face tough times as well)
I hope we as adults stop judging our parents and take responsibility for our own actions. I hope as many adults as possible acknowledge that their parents did as much as they could with what they knew at the time, so we can forgive and start healing.
Maybe a word of advice from a kid with an extremely loving dad, be supportive of your child. Always be supportive of them. Being there by their side if you can when there are things that are deeply important to them will help them grow like they nor you could ever imagine.
I'm 18 and slowly moving into adulthood, and I am lucky enough to have a father who gives 100% of his effort to help me navigate through all the fear. The fear is still there, but it's a little more manageable when you have a loved one by your side.
As kids, we look up to you guys more than anyone else in the world. At the end of the day, I think think the best thing a parent could do for their kids is to make them feel seen.
this made me cry, im not in a nice place right now, and this felt like a warm hug :)
I hope things get better for you ❤️
😘
Hope all turns out good for you🤍
Me too
I hope you're doing well.
This breaks my heart…for those of us who were born into unloving homes. We were left alone in our cribs, touched very little in a loving gentle way, touched in a violent way by our own parents, neglected in every way. Videos like this make me cry because I know there is nothing I can do to change the fact that my own parents didn’t want me. I (we) do the best I can to soothe myself decades later.
You matter friend I’m glad you’re here
Every video is a work of art
literally
This subject is related to complex trauma and this video explains it better than many specialized books i have read. Amazingly good. Congratulations.
yes why has it taken so long for us to finally begin to understand why we are this way.
This video hurt my soul. Being adopted this video accurately portrays the terror that filled my first few weeks of life where when I screamed out, no one was there. I’ve been soothing myself and chasing a ghost ever since.
You matter friend I’m glad you’re here
"Let him cry." "Quit babying him." "Don't pick him up." "You're teaching him to cry." "He needs to learn to not rely on others." "He's going to be a wuss when he grows up."
You can't spoil an infant...
All of that idiotic thinking is becoming more popular now.
It's horrifying.
Jennifer Grove Really? I thought people were more evolved now on parenting. The difference in child appropriateness of cartoons is miles better than what it was when I was a kid. There was so much violence in cartoons I never realized till I had my own child.
lol , quilty ..
this was one of the biggest social failures ever: tough "love" (you can blame people like Dr James Dobson). This is so counterintuitive, and also is the complete opposite of the history of mammalian and particulary human history--to ignore one's baby to make it tougher. It only makes for a very unhappy and scared and insecure person, and creates a hardening in the mother's heart when the baby does not stop crying.
This feels like my personal therapy session
The parts about feeing as if one doesn't "earn" sleep and the "defensive independence" instead of kindly asking for soothing hit so hard. Instant flowing tears realizing what I and a friend of mine have been putting ourselves through after nearly fatal, heart shattering breakups.
@ Straitjacket : Thank you for writing this. It helped me.
someone said i’m a soothing person so i’m here more to let everyone know that ITS OKAY. Whatever you are going through... IT IS OKAY. Everything is okay. don’t be too hard on yourself ❤️
Might be too late to ask but- what is the correct way to soothe?
I don't feel like a deserve being soothed, let alone loved..
this video still helps. Thanks
Adrian Wilkins You might think that but try to always remember yourself that you ARE a loveable sooth-worthy person.
Why would you deserve it less than anyone else? Imagine how much more you can give to others if you decided you are worthy of soothing and love. Look into self compassion...it’s an antidote ❤️
You do and you are! The same universe that needs flowers, oceans and birds needs a you too. Keep watching school of life and it sinks in. Lesson I'm learning myself.
you do not have to carry the world on your own shoulders, you too deserve support and it is totally valid to ask for help, if you are in need :)
This is a late response and I hope you’re feeling a little better today but I just wanted to say something I’ve learned.
It can be hard to allow others to give you gifts and love when it feels like you don’t deserve it.… like you haven’t done anything to earn it.
But a thought like that doesn’t make sense. Since when was love something you had to earn??
AND if someone does make you feel like that… that you have to earn their love and respect, forget them.
Living with parents like that, for example, can be tricky. You can feel trapped, completely dependent on them, and undeserving of respect. BUT you always have a choice, you give yourself the choice, and you go and don’t look back and become nothing like them. You do better.
Because that’s the upside to growing up, you get the chance to reteach yourself into the person childhood you can be proud of. (Sorry. That last part was more personal but I wasn’t sure what your current situation is)
This is a beautiful video, when i feel like nothing is going right i hug and pat myself on the back till i fall asleep. Really helps most of the time, but it's hard to reach your own back lol
They say that you should talk to yourself how you would to a child. It puts things in a new and hopeful perspective, amazing what we can do if we just change a little bit of the mindset.
I can't really soothe myself or other people but when my dog gets scared idk it just feels so natural to me to hold her and pet her and use a soft voice to assure her that she's safe and everything will be okay :)
Your videos changed my life. This video in particular blew me away. When you articulated what I had no words to describe I felt seen in a way I never have. You helped me find myself. This video showed me where to start. I will never be able to adequately express how grateful I am to every single one of you who make these videos possible. I revisit these ideas and videos whenever I struggle and they always remind me that I can and will get through any problem I'm faced with with as much grace and dignity I can. Thank you all. 🖤🖤🖤
Omg I hope you're doing well, you deserve it
It's crazy how spot on these videos are with my life. But it's good to remember that it's not just me that feels this way. It's millions of others. If it wasn't the case, school of life wouldn't have an audience.
I hope we can all find comfort within ourselves, from our own psyche to the people that surround us.
Thank you for this
The School of Life.. we love you so much.. you're really fulfilling..
I've watched tons of videos from The School of Life and Psych2Go and both of those channels have done more for my emotional, mental and physical health than any kind of therapy has ever done for me. It answers questions I've always had but could never receive a proper answer to, it reassures me within my thoughts, gives me comfort and courage that I will last and get through this and that I am not alone in this but surrounded by many who wish to be found as I do. My life is slowly improving as a result and I even had the courage to sit at a table with a stranger and strike up a conversation, which went well might I add and though it didn't lead to anything, the simple act allowed me to better be able to do it again, despite the outcome.
These videos are 10x more useful and 1000x cheaper than Headspace
ok its not that i feel attacked anymore for being called out, i just feel this like warmth of understood reassurance.
Video Request: When to say Thank you & Sorry i.e. not overuse these words.
ua-cam.com/video/EtXi4mCmD5E/v-deo.html
when you mean it.
Really liked this one. I never noticed how much of a natural soother I am. I am always caressing others unconsciously
Can be really difficult though when others are really stubborn when it comes to changing their behaviour. They like to flee themselves into consumables.
I naturally touch and soothe others too, SG, probably because I was well loved and soothed as a child. I was shocked and embarrassed when I was about 12 and a couple of fellow boy scouts noticed this and loudly denounced me as a "poof." I wasn't gay, but I cut down on touching.
@@graemeroberts2935 that's so sad! Never deny your soothing self, be proud of it. The world needs more people like you!
“We may need soothing so much, we find ourselves unable to ask for it nicely” - this is profound!
Love this! Thank You Alain. I work in mental health and often my clients have such low tolerance to frustration they dysregulate and seek relief through substances. I love offering your videos to bring group topics into focus .
Your voice, Alain, was the only thing to soothe me in my saddest moments of my life. Thank you so much! I am much better now :)
5 30 2018 Hey Ana, It's great that you named the presenter-Alain. I too agree he has perfect pronunciation which, to me, is very soothing. Be well. v P.S.: I hope he doesn't mind be named?
Virginia Tyree thanks, you too! No, I don't think that he minds. He wrote several books as well, it's his name on them so..
SoL wouldn't be SoL without Alain and also him alone couldn't accomplish so much by himself :) we're all interconnected
Such a powerful demonstration of such complex feelings! The baby felt soo real, it was me! And it was everyone else at the same time!
Made me cry, I wasn't expecting that
I was talking about this with my psychologist yesterday. I had a really bad panic attack and this video sums up why. It's ok to ask for soothing from someone else. You are talking care of yourself by asking for help, it's not a burden to people because you are the one making decisions. Practice asking for little things first and you'll see how good it feels and how empowering it is.
3 months and we are still lost, 29 years i still feel that way
im 29 too mate
and you feel that way to
Same, same. 56.
21 and i guess i feel that way too.
Same here, 88 years!
Great video, especially when my generation's soothing has been reduced to a voiceless, remote, and generic kiss/hug emoji, or an "RIP" comment to calm the loved ones of someone who just passed. We need to step our game up and bring the warmth of "being there" back into the equation of soothing
Mrs. and Mr. Mischoff :3 thnx pal :) truth be spoken
Matt this feels like what Humanity needs most.
RIP
You're right. Assuming the person is mentally mature and can take you seriously and won't make fun of you for caring for them that way. A lot of us wants to do it and a lot of us are afraid to do it at aswell. So I guess I'll just shut up and keep it in me.
Purple ur perspective is valid, i didn't consider it, I think the solution lies on both ends of the transaction because even as receivers we are not used to such empathy and compassion anymore mostly bc we haven't been exposed to a healthy dose of it when we were younger
4:11-4:30 "we may mistake a capacity to soothe for weakness or naivety. We may take the soother for a fool....unable to ask for it nicely..."
I've done this..I didn't understand why those feelings were so intense and there in the first place. Especially with people I cared for and cared for me. Intergenerational trauma is worth looking into for insight. Thank you for your posts
Being nice isnt enough you have be truly kind.
amazing as always.. Thank You School of Life
This really calmed me down.
I'm in the right side of UA-cam , TSOL is the best 💓
Another great message that feels right on time in my own journey. Another well-done video. Thank you for bringing us these timeless, important thoughts!
Well said Erica !!
This video read my mind... It came out the day i most needed it
ohh i'm crying, thank you so so much. I love this channel it changed my life countless times
AWww the two adults soothing themselves at the end hit me hard!❤️ These are Goals! 🌻🌻🌻🌻
i havent cried in ages but this made me bawl. i've had such a hard time in asking for help that i've been through too much pain and mental struggle by myself. this video was kinda like a big hug.
Ok but what are some strategies to actually soothe someone? I get why it’s important but how do you actually soothe someone.
dunno if im right, but someone who has soothed me, didnt say a word to me and just was there, sometimes its just physical contact or empathy, i find physical soothing very curing, since i have hardly ever experienced it in childhood or even at all, i believe it depends on the kind of hurt
Most people on the Internet seem to think it means giving advice, then getting pissy when you don't thank them, tell them you'll try that and then immediately feel better.
...must be why I don't disclose on the Internet much anymore...
Agos is right. Sometimes just being held is like 99% of the solution.
Ask permission first, tho. Sometimes people can't handle being touched.
If they can't handle being touched, just stay close and don't freak out. Stay calm and give them loving awareness.
Not 🤪😜🤓🤡
Just 😌
The other last 1% is telling them you love them no matter what.
Then, share some awesome food or tea. ☕🥐☕
The same way you want to be soothed 😊
@@DarkMoonDroid very smart and compassionate words here....thank you!
Listening to them and validating their feelings 💞
These videos are so thoughtful and calming I never think that they’re only gonna be five minutes they always seem longer than that
I really love this video. It touches what is at the root of passive childhood trauma that so many of us experience, that is feeling that our world is unsafe and that we are alone in and powerless to be with and ease our suffering.
Every video feels like a chilling, refreshing cleanse of the soul. It feels like coming out of a translucent, now unsure tunnel, into clean light. Every video genuinely transforms some part of my deeply rooted philosophy into something veering towards a healthy mindset, so thank you, SOL
That was 100% accurate to my lived experience. Thanks for the answer.
Thank you for making these vids. They really help me know and understand more. I love your work and your voice!
I just want to say thank you, i just learn to soothe myself. I feel like in 2:47 you soothe us with your voice :)
When I finished watching..I couldn't help thinking how much James Joyce would have loved this...xo
Tell us more; what an intriguing thought!
In 'Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man', first chapter, when baby Stephen was formulating thought and words, smells and sounds he was learning to make sense of... life.. You perfectly captured that thought to me, reminding me of when I read Joyce's ...'Portrait' years ago. I never quite felt the same way reading any other author since...But today watching this video brought me back to that book by that author who I do feel would LOVE your own stream of consciousness of your little baby, that fresh new life that needs 'soothing' ...that you conveyed here. xo (I'm certain, Joyce would be delighted with this, AND much of your work BTW)..
Scary to be in a world where a kind touch from others is met with fear and unfamiliarity. I shudder at times from touch; especially from men. I am learning to self- soothe, yet it is one of the most difficult acts. Thank you, as always💗
Wow! Your videos are getting better and better!
This work you guys do is priceless. Thank you!
Amen school of life thanks your great
Thank you!
I love the varied artwork of these recent School of Life videos - a feast for the eyes! Very enjoyable to see all these different styles.
I just love what you do for people, myself included. It is truly valuable and so many of these lessons ring true, not in a general or cliche way. Thank you.
It’s like picking thoughts off of my mind in sequence in putting it in sensible words n comforting voice !!!
Oh m so broken I could never cry enough !!!
This video is one of my favourites, it's as if they saw everything I deeply worry about.
This video came just at the right moment. Thank you.
I like to think of the universe and how big it is. and how nothing really matters and strangely that motivates and refreshes me
This was a beautiful video. I might suggest that it be titled 'The importance soothing', as it doesn't really give pointers on *how* to help sooth someone. But I'm being pedantic. Really lovely!
Thank you Lord for your help
Outstanding! Articulate, thorough, deeply insightful, fascinating. Thank you
Honestly the part at the near end at minute 2 is so comforting to me, even the "screw them" part, i often get even sadder when people try to comfort me 'n end out blaming things on other but that part just... really makes me happy.
your voice is so soothing, thank you
Thank you. My paid time off is over and I am returning to a deeply dysfunctional workspace full of bullies which in the recent past has taken me to very dark places.
If I need to be soothed I just listen to the wonderful soothing voice of School Of Life.
Watching the beginning of this video, reminded me of my earliest memory, from the cot no more than a year old. It was a wakemare, I recall the bars of the cot, the hallucination, the layout of the room, and I was terrified. Obviously I couldn't talk at that time, but I knew I needed my parents, so I cried and cried until my Dad came in, and the hallucinations disappeared. He would have had no idea why I was crying, but it was a great sense of relief when he arrived. Until the internet arrived I thought it strange, and somewhat impossible that I could remember this far back, but the memory still resonates with me clearly many decades on, and I discovered sometimes others can recall things from when they were babies too.
This video saved my hair, I was so stressed and was about to pull a Britney...
Everything will be fine 8'-)
Christine Lin lmaoo
My self soothing started @50. I was sitting on my hair, getting it caught in doors ect. It was so heavy too. got rid of it, shaved it all off in an independent moment, what a relief! 3yrs ago I shaved it. It grows fast! I'm thinking of a Mohawk if I do let it grow. I love being free from the tyranny of hair!😁
I shaved my hair off for the world's greatest shave. Its actually great, I dont miss my old hair at all (it was very damaged too)
Wow!!! This one absolutely blew me away
This was a worryingly accurate description of my life.
Today I broken up with and kicked out my 'boyfriend' because he threatened me and then physically abused me. Over these last two years I have wondered about what our issues were and I did exactly what this video said I would do.. I isolated myself and kept silent when he mistreated me with his lashing out.. I knew something was wrong but I couldn't understand what it was.. I couldn't see that he needed soothing from me and I needed it from him and that neither of us knew how to give it.. This video has touched my broken heart and settled my nervous mind. The hurt marks will fade and I will recover.. but the best part is now being able to understand what I've been going through. To my family and friends who support me, and the people who took a moment of their lives to bring this video into the lives of others (like me), and to anyone else who is willing to take a few hits in order to stand their ground and do what is right for the goodness that is their existence:
Thank-you, very much, for living as you do!
I was soothed by this talk. 🙂
i cant watch a single one of these videos without crying
Its interesting how much influence our parents have on our life, especially our psychological well being in the adulthood, when we believe were long independent from our parents.
I feel such gratitude to you all at School of Life for the comfort, understanding, and fellow-feeling you bring to our lives. Thank you! I want to understand soothing ourselves and others, but please don't assume that all viewers were deprived of soothing, or indeed suffer from any of the problems you describe. I was fortunate enough to have wonderful parents who loved and soothed me. A small, less-important aside: why are the characters in some animations so revolting?
This video was all I needed
everything you share here helps me a lot, through a long term depression. thank you for helping ppl like me ....
Learning to self soothe when you didn't have soothing as a child is so difficult. Then when we decide to ask for it, often we are refused even a kind word as so many others also lacked compassionate parents. I find my soothing in animals. They tend to be much kinder and more available than people.
The illustrations of the baby and mother is so great ❤️
Your voice is soothing I fall asleep to your wisdom
Going to therapy and CBT has really helped me learn how to self soothe
This is absolutely one of my favourite videos on this channel, and brought me to tears. I very much identify with the little green figure that shouts and gets mad in the face of help. It's tricky and I didn't realise what it could stem from. But anyway, thank you. :)
I cried watching this video, it went deep...
Fascinating, to say the least. I've spent my whole life feeling aline, told and showed i was wrong. I'm naturally soft inside and have longed for better human nature, but conscience enough to know we all have faults and are influenced by so many things. I now understand it is an individual thibg. Some are king, some are mran and some just dgaf either way. Truth, some do have it harder than others, but that isn't the factor that stops happiness, at all. I hope to one day feel a sense of gratitude for the many folks who have showed me ugly behavior, as it is this that has taught me my greatest lessons. I do wish more people would recognize but i undetstand human nature at my age. We're all full of this BS, some check themselves, some go all in on it. Thank you
It is very soothing to have a love reaction from the School of Life!
That was so good🩷
This video comes at the right moment for me. Some things i've been worried about the last weeks now seem a lot clearer to me. I now see that i did withdraw into defensive independence because i needed soothing so desperately in an emotionally stressful time. I will try to comunicate my need for soothing to the people i am close to.
Thank you for making this video
thank you, i need this more than ever right now
Simultaneously hilarious (imagery and phrasing) and starkly factual (subject matter and delivery). I love AdB and SOL videos. Now to go cry in a corner... 😅
This channel I don’t always agree with however the fact that it shows viewpoints in a fresh light is what I enjoy. Great job school of life, keep up the great work. Also kudos to the animators and editors
I could watch this illustration 100 times, well done!
What an enlightening, useful video from such a helpful channel. Thanks guys
My favourite video. The most important one, in my opinion. I've been coming back to it for a while now. Thanks TSoL, you are the best 🙌
Thank you. Just thank you.
What an incredibly soothing voice!
This definitely is my favourite channel ever! It helps me so much with personal growth!
His voice soothes me
Explains my Borderline Personality Disorder...and I'm cool with it. I have empathy for myself after watching this vid.