The Twilight Saga is a MESS
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- Опубліковано 4 чер 2024
- i hate this town (a twilight parody): • i hate this town (a tw...
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━CHAPTERS━
00:00 Breaking Dawn part 1
20:46 Breaking Dawn part 2
tags: #twilight - Комедії
Bella: has unprotected sex once, gets pregnant, dies
The coach from mean girls: 👁️👄👁️
He was right the whole time
"don't have s*x because you will get pregnant and die"
🤣
at least she didn't get several urinary tract infections in a row
this is too funny for ur own good holy moly
She could have just gone with "vampires are rich cuz they're old and don't need to spend money on necessities and that adds up" but the actual canon reason the Cullens are rich is cuz Alice uses her future seeing powers to cheat the stock market. I think they are straight up the third richest fictional characters ever, behind only Batman and scrooge mcduck
Tying with Lex Luther
I think that’s hilarious
I died of laughter at this. N now I'm a vampire.
Black panter is richer
wait seriously that's hilarious lmao 🤣
It’s amazing how the movie with the very obvious anti-abortion message has probably the single most horrifying birth scene I have seen in something that wasn’t an outright horror movie. I cannot imagine teenage girls when this came out thinking “yeah, I still want to have kids”.
It's not anti-abortion, it's actually a pro-choice message. Her body her choice. She was being heavily coerced to abort. But she wanted to have the baby and she had final say.
i genuinely think this movie is what made me so scared of pregnancy like the scene of her baby moving crazily around in her stomach is engraved in my brain
@@emohbrisnicki7648if you know the mormon undertones then no, it's very not pro-choice
@@OnlyTAS That's what I think too. Maybe Meyer was trying to subvert or put her own spin on the 'pro-choice' thing, where often it's the woman that wants the abortion and her family/friends are against it. Here, Bella 'chooses' to keep the baby, despite their wishes. I don't know. Regardless, if it is, as I think, an anti-abortion message, she chose one of the most horrible, traumatising ways to convey that message. Like @tinytron says, if anything, it would terrify a young girl of even getting pregnant in the first place.
@@rkgrkg I don’t know why it would be considered Meyer putting her own spin on pro choice label though. Coercion is very common in abortion. There’s an organization I know of that helps hundreds of women every year who call in for help due to being coerced into abortion by family, friends, abusive partners, etc. Is pro-choice not women choosing to keep their babies also?
As a Brazilian dude, the random lady with a Rio de Janeiro accent screaming I KNOW YOU'RE A DEMON then touching a lady's belly and saying DEATH with a deadpan face is hilarious. When a carioca screams DEATH at you, you run.
When she looks at her flat stomach and is like "I'm pregnant" always kills me
me when my period is late
right?? and i didn’t watch the movie but didn’t they have sex like a day before this? u can’t know ur pregnant until weeks in
@luvoriia the plot line is because it's a half vampire baby the gestation goes A LOT faster. And also, apparently edward's vamp seed is just that fast acting.
@@OdinsSage
Yeah after my comment I thought abt that but was too lazy to delete haha
@luvoriia I didn't know I was pregnant for a month and then I didn't FEEL pregnant until like month 3 lol ofc it's fiction but this scene is still funny
Imagine falling in love with a vampire when you are 18... then he bites you, and you're stuck in an eternal relationship with the kind of guy you liked when you were 18...
This is PURE horror.
You'd stay mentally 18 forever too
Rosalie is a real one for trying to talk Bella out of the whole thing
Dude… This legit scared me.
very mormon vibes
@@MilkChocolateGeeseNo, but truly. In the end they get married super young because they’re too horny and Edward refuses to do anything out of wedlock. Which is literally every Mormon couple I’ve ever known.
Bella's dad was legit the only character i liked in books and movie and played a believable guy, especially his reactions to his 18 yr old kid getting married
I'm considering writing a Twilight What If that Bella, Edward and Jacob doesn't exist and the whole story revolve's around Charlie, in the middle of a murder investigation, finding out his best friend is a werewolf and the town doctor that everyone trusts is a vampire and they hate each other but he has to make them work together to find the murders
@@vitormartins3773 wait that's actually a good plot 👏
@@vitormartins3773 my man just casually cooking the best idea and thought we wouldn't notice ???
Charlie carried the first book honestly LOL
(I read it in like grade 5 or 6 before bed because it made me tired lmao)
Hrs even fucks it after Jacob tried to kiss Bella tho
8:10 you're actually so close to the books reason for their wealth it's hilarious. Canonically Alice uses her future vision to predict stocks and then the Cullens invest based on what she says 😂
I want that superpower....
My favorite thing about twilight is how EVERY vampire in media afterwards has to make a point that they do not sparkle.
that's fucking hilarious
They have to protect their dignity somehow
Well, now, most vampire plotlines involve vampires who can go out in the sunlight.
Good thing Twilight is it's own thing and has it's own lore and worldbuilding so it doesn't have to abide by a generic copy pasted formula
@@leahscontemporary Yeah, defend your trashy book. It’s uniquely bad and lazy. Not like those other vampire shows that actually care about their lore and like to put in effort.
The CGI child is consistently the scariest thing of this movie. She gives off uncanny valley the entire time
Bro if you think the cgi baby was bad : she was the UPGRADE from the live action puppet they originally wanted to use. Don’t believe me ? Look up “ original renesme puppet” or even “chuckesme” 😂
@@Wildmoonchildani94 WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA
@@cosmiccod6284 Yeah....... It's the Twilight Saga. I'd be surprised if 'good idea' was a phrase the writer could even comprehend.
@@Wildmoonchildani94 OH. Oh that’s so horrifying
@@cosmiccod6284 not only that, but apparently the puppet is haunted now as well, the socks were supposed to be white but are stained brown (not saying if this true or not, just going off from what I heard people talk about)
why is that song actually a banger? What? HOW? That was an unreasonable amount of talent to just pull out of nowhere. Damn.
ISTG!!!
I'm going to have the chorus stuck in my head for days.
Note to you since you didn’t read the books: Jacob had to take his clothes off to transform in front of Charlie because it was a common theme in the books for him to transform by accident and shred his clothes, and then end up as a naked human. he started getting used to it and taking off the clothes first so they aren’t all ruined
Also, I think maybe Alice and jasper left because jasper is so sensitive and the baby technically has a beating heart? I can’t quite remember
@@OboakI somehow remember one of the Volturis being able to read her mind and therefore finding out the plans of the Cullen clan so she had to leave? Maybe that’s bs but that’s how I remember the thing 😅
“You nickednamed my daughter after the Loch Ness monster” is pure cinema. Movies really feel off after that line was uttered
she says it like the loch ness monster is a bad thing too :(( as a lover of cryptids i love her sm
unironically my favorite line in the entire twilight saga. she gets so heated in a blink of an eye 😭😭😭
Trulyyyy
and "where the hell have you been loca?"
Deadass
I remember my friend telling me that Bella’s “you named my baby after the Loch Ness monster?!” Was “the most emotion Bella showed in all the twilight movies”
Book bella was so boring. I literally only enjoyed new moon because of Jacob and breaking dawn when we got Jacob's P.O.V. he was a fun and interesting narrator in contrast to bella. Oddly enough he does seem to bring out a lot of the emotions in bella, whereas edward basically numbs a lot of stuff except horniness. Maybe it's metaphorical imagery for how jacob is alive and feels a lot in contrast to edward who's dead and at most mimics emotions that aren't emo boy depressed.
@@BleedingLiar17 honestly, you’re so right- there’s such a contrast between her with the two of them. While I’m not necessarily “team Jacob” due to like all the obsession, I do think he’s 10x better than bed time stalker Magee, Edward.
Did she LIE tho?!?!
So you agree that anger is an emotion. Men have been portraying women as the more emotional gender because they have convinced everyone that anger is not an emotion
@@samanthapalker1476 bro what??
The experience of watching the big fight scene in Breaking Dawn Part 2 in the theater for the first time, surrounded by people who also read the books and were completely shocked and losing their minds is a peak movie watching experience and I'm so sad I'll never get that specific moment again. I was pretty young when it came out, and while I do remember the insanity of seeing this for the first time, I wish I could have that experience again older so I could remember it better.
I remember the gasps 😂 I went opening day with my mom so wasn’t spoiled
FYI, the Volturi guy who wants to die (called Marcus btw) wants to die because way back when, he fell in love with this other vampire Didyme and they began to discuss leaving the Volturi, but Aro caught wind of this and had Didyme killed, which Marcus never recovered from bc it's like, Twilight Lore (TM) that vampires never recover after their ... mates (?) die lol. So he's been super depressed for like 800 years basically 💀 Guess they didn't cover that in the films lmao
Kinda sad that he also doesn’t get the way out he wants to have since Aro chickens out after seing Alice‘s visions.
I guarantee that they made Bella's kid age so rapidly so the plot of Jacob being with her romantically would be legal
Nah it was actually “vampire magic” that made her age like three or five times normal humans do (I think the pregnancy was only three months in canon time). If I remember correctly, the time between the child’s birth and the “war” is less than a year
And so they didn't have to show that god awful CGI baby 😂
Think it was stephanie channelling the fact that despite being raised to think kids are great, generally she would prefer to be in the raising period to be as short as possible. Even when as a child, Renesme is depicted as being mature and intelligent. She straight up wants to skip the baby period cause it sucks.
I always thought it would be for tension purposes, because in the book they are really worried about renesmee, they never dealt with an half vampire before so they were scare she would just continue aging and aging and would die of old age in years so they tried to enjoy every moment they could with her. When Alice appeared with the other half vampire the Cullens were relieved because they learned she will stop aging 7y after her birth
IIRC It was also cause the vampire authority thought they would stay as a baby forever and having a bloodthirsty immortal toddler running around even only for a few years would be a pretty major threat to whatever twlights version of the masquerade is.
Bella having sex one time, getting pregnant, and then actually dying is an accurate representation of mormon sex ed, speaking as a former mormon. All it's missing is guys blaming their hard-ons on bare shoulders.
I mean edward hates Bella and wants to switch classes cuz she just looks too eatable in her sweaters 💀
It’s crazy, I had an associate who also got pregnant after her first time having sex. That’s traumatizing 😭
As Kamu said, Edward friggin' blames Bella for making him feel obsessed with her!
I think it perfectly encapsulates every point you just mentioned!
I remember in the book they did it at least a few times during the honeymoon, skipping it in a dot dot dot sort of way and then reminiscing in the morning about it. The movies are actually more graphic about their honeymoon sex.
why are y’all surprised by her getting pregnant after one try? That’s perfectly normal??
at the beginning when you said she doesn’t have hobbies…. well 🤓 she holds a succulent in the first twilight movie…. so that’s something guys!
Nitpicking but Rosalie did NOT want to terminate the pregnancy. In fact she was the only one supporting Bella in keeping the baby. Also, people who didn't read the books don't know that the "Just kidding it was only a vision" ending didn't happen in the books, that was purely in the movie. I personally kinda liked it only for the reason that I--having read the books and thinking I knew everything that was going to happen--didn't expect it and was shocked. Putting that reason aside, I know that it's pretty widely agreed upon that the trope of "it was just a dream/vision" in movies is pretty bad, so I get how that kinda sucked.
Yeah, I'm forever scarred by the Bobby's been in the shower for like 2 years and it was all a dream move (I was a little kid, my parents liked that series :D ) so really nothing like this shocks me after that :D :D
Bella’s dad is literally the only sane character 😭
him threatening to shoot Edward at the wedding was based
Her parents fob her off on the millionaire vampire family and almost get them all killed.
@@LunaxMWoulda been more based if he'd just done it, before the wedding.
That's what a good father does to his daughters abuser.
Are those Graduation caps? 3:18
Right I mean..I legit rewatched it recently.. and this was my conclusion
always laughed my ass off at “do you think Bella is gonna be showing? 😝” “ Jess! she is not pregnant.” “pmmph okay.. who else gets married at 18? 🤨”
Jess is the queen of sass
@@Iblamethebarrels And then embarrasses herself when giving a speech at Bella's wedding by implying she (Jess) would have been the better choice for Edward by saying Bella was nothing like her.
@@madamefluffy4788 bro that scene is so goofy 🤣 half expected her to get absolutely sh*t faced at the wedding
i was going to at 18y and then he cheated i was not not pregnant. and she got married and they did it after they were married and got pregnant making it half viamper and half human the blood hungry baby human mom. and wolves imprints on only one person no s.x stuff just puts their self in front of you to protect you like a pet that well bite anyone when your asleep or think that your asleep. and a lot of people get married at 18
she’s scott pilgrims sister in scott pilgrim vs the world 😭
Dude I remember my GF had me watch the twilight movies and we got to breaking dawn part 2. After hours and hours of non-sensical slop, FINALLY there’s an epic battle scene with real consequences and I was SO HYPED… AND THEN IT WAS ALL A STUPID VISION OF THE “FUTURE” ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?
33:03 To be fair, the PS4 didn't exist till late 2013. And if they played a Wii they may have destroyed the house with the motion controls.
Wow I hadn't realized before just how Mormon this series is. The obsession with marriage, the fear of sexuality while being deeply desperate for sexuality, the tacit endorsement of child brides. It's really all there.
I literally had to pause the video right at the beginning cause I cant believe they started the movie with Bella quoting SCRIPTURE. The put away childish things line is from 1 Corinthians 13:11 😭
@@ambersunnyamberI never picked up on that 😭
@@ambersunnyambernahhh 😭😭😭
Plus the prolifer undertones from Bella keeping her “demon” child lol
@@ville__bot
You can't compare one-punch man to bella. bella didn't do anything to earn her power, Saitama did 100 push ups, 100 sit ups, and ran 100 miles everyday until his hair fell out.
I thought the same thing sure the power he gained was insane it's a anime after all but he did in fact work for it 😂
All Bella did was exist over there, and suddenly she's queen of the vampires.
🤣
Saitama also gained depression 😞
ONE HUNDRED PUSH-UPS!
ONE HUNDRED SIT-UPS!
ONE HUNDRED SQUATS!
AND A 10 KILOMETER RUN!
EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR 3 YEARS UNTIL MY HAIR FELL OUT!
"My stink I can't hide"😅 I've had those days.😢
Why is the song at the end actually FIREEEEEEE
Imagine letting your daughter “mate” with your wife’s ex admirer. 💀
If I was Edward I would kill Jacob
"its a wolf thing"
"sir are you aware of how serious the charges against you are?"
@@pisscvre69”sir, please have a seat on that nesting bed”
Oh, Jacob. "Dog years" is not a thing.
'It's a wolf thing'
No, dear - it's a predator thing.
When a parent is as happy as Bella’s mom that their kid is getting married at 18, there’s a problem. Also, notice how Bella’s parents found out not because she told them she was engaged, but by getting wedidng invitations.
Yeah that’s wild now that I’m also an adult with nephews and nieces I find Charlie the only human with a brain in the whole movie
@@Princes_LunaFRRR
Bella's mom is like canonically negligent lmfao
@@nikfiendluvr666It’s actually really sad looking into it. By Bella’s own admission, her mom basically made Bella be the parent. Their relationship is actually kind of sick and bella thinks her mom is her best friend.
she's more of a friend than a parent. It's giving "I'm not like a regular mom, I'm a cool mom" vibes
I was 12 when the first movie came out so my grad class was the perfect age for this series. I was a single dude all throughout high school so I had zero want or obligation to see these movies but do have one funny memory. When Breaking Dawn 2 came out I was in Grade 11 by this point and 3 of my buddies had girlfriends who dragged them to the theatre opening weekend. On Monday I asked each of them separately what the worst part was and they all said the same thing: the end fight that turned out to be a dream. They felt so betrayed because it was the only scene all three of them enjoyed.
"How could I choose between glitter and fuurrrrr~~~"
Iconic.
"You nicknamed my daughter after the Loch Ness monster?" Every time I wonder how Kirsten Stewart has been able to say that line without laughing
Her greatest talent really is "no emotion"
There's even a film called Equals where emotions are illegal and she's the female lead. Perfect casting.
@@genera1013 Lol, she definitely was 😁 I need to check that movie, thanks
I love that line
i swear both her and robert pattinson look SO done with the movie in like every show i wonder how they took ANYTHING serious
I can imagine they had to do maaany many retakes, and if you say that line twenty times in a row it des stop making you laugh each time lol
Also the chess scene is kinda cute because Edward can't play chess with anyone but her because hers is the only mind he can't read.
I forgot about that. That is cute.
Ohhh yeah!
But his games with Alice were so intense in the books! Mind reader vs future vision
Okay that is cute ngl
My mom (who spent a considerable amount of my childhood reading and re-reading the twilight saga) told me that in the book, the final battle happens basically the way you suggested it happens. A fight just between mind powers.... but that wouldn't work well in a movie so they did the crazy fight scene
I love how unironically good your Twilight song is, it was the perfect ending to this amazing recap 💖
Jesus.. that fucking song at the end has no right being as dope as it was. I’m now gonna be singing “how can I choose between glitter and fur?” All day. Thanks Gabbitron. Also should have added a line like “am I into beastiality? Or am I just a necrophiliac?”
Omg that line slaps too hard
No joke. In high school I would have had that song burned on a CD and living in my car's CD player for like a month.
I mean, on my mp3 player... CD's were way before my time... How do you do, fellow kids?
@@neofromthewarnerbrothersic145i had a half-functioning family car with a cd player, too
lmao yes
Saaaame, I was just about to comment about the glitter and fur line!
You can’t convince me that twilight isn’t just a FanFiction that got too famous and was made into a book then a movie 😭
It was my chemical romance fanfic originally if what I've seen and heard is to be trusted.
@@echojacky I mean, it makes sense 😃
It was inspired by Interview with The Vampire.
No I can't because that would be a lie and furthermore stupid
Robert said in a interview Stephanie told them she had a dream of this, maybe a fantasy and Robert thought she was insane. They're all paid so who cares what we think.
The movies came out when I was 10-14 and i never saw them but now thanks to your summary I’m relieved to know I didn’t miss anything meaningful.
Great video essays tho! I’ve enjoyed your commentary. Also the Charlie swan bit was the best lmao
43:58 OMG I LEFT A COMMENT WHERE I WAS LIKE “dur dur what’s creepy about the imprint thing” I DIDNT KNOW THEY MADE JACOB DATING HER CANON OMG WHAT THE FUCK
Edward and Bella's butt ugly 404 error of a daughter could've been so much worse. Cause their original plan was for it to be portrayed with the most hauntingly terrible animatronic ever seen by man.
Ah, yes, Chuckesmee, the haunted doll
I still don’t believe that Chuckesme wasn’t intended as a prank on the cast. Poor Nikki Reed’s face!
Everytime I'm reminded of the existence of that doll, I can't stop fucking laughing. Who tf was behind that monstrosity?
Satan, seeing as how it's supposedly actually haunted
RIP Chuckesme, this would have been a whole other movie.
the funny part is that when jacob ran out shirtless in the rain. i saw that in theaters w my sister and someone in the back yelled “TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFFF” and then he did and the whole theater actually did cheer 😭😭😭😭
omfg 😭✋️
:::;Ded;:::
Wild
8:00 there is no secret. They have mind control, can offer immortality, and as you yourself point out, passive income like property holdings and compounding interest really adds up over decades and centuries. Not to mention art, which is always a good way to launder money.
41:17 That the Wilhelm scream. It a funny movie easter egg now lol
41:17 I sincerely hoped that someone had already commented about the Wilhelm scream, and you did not disappoint! 😅 even the sound designers knew how ridiculous this movie is.
“Don’t have sex. Cause you’ll get pregnant, and die!”- Coach Car. Mean girls.
Breaking Dawn: Bella has sex once and gets pregnant and she dies only to be revived
Dude predicted the future
The coach was not wrong, he was just very specific.
So you just gonna repeat the top comment joke which is 4 months older and do so in a less entertaining way? Just delete your account at this point
@@mx5701 Do I seem like I care
I don't why but Bella calling something that's literally turning her into a living corpse a "miracle" has always rubbed me the wrong way.
that's why it's so obviously a pro-life argument. women are told that they need to keep the baby full term, even if they are literally dying by continuing to carry it.
Demon baby is literally murdering Bella's insides but she is happy to keep it because✨ miracle ✨. like wtf last i checked miracles aren't shitty body horror
Women are seen as having one purpose- making babies- and therefore, even a woman's death doesn't matter, as long as she "fulfills her purpose". It's really sick and twistef, but that's what we get for being female, I guess. Men get entire holidays and memorials for dying in wars THEY started, but women get nothing for dying and suffering in childbirth just so those men could exist in the first place.
It's definitely miraculous. Vampires should not have the ability to procreate, and as far as the majority of the vampire world knows, they can't.
I'm not religious in the slightest, though if the Virgin Mary's immaculate conception is a miracle, Bella becoming preganté definitely is, too.
@@katherinesmallbean3594Birth is fucking body horror
The fact that you actually wrote a damn good song at the end of this video is what made me subscribe. My gf showed me these twilight videos and I laughed many times but the song was a true banger
Brazil mentioned! As a Brazilian I should tell you that your edit of the scene as a novela was pretty damn accurate, parabéns! Robert Pattinson's accent sounds like Portugal's Portuguese 😅
The scene where she breaks her back trying to get that cup surrounded by superfast vampires is the most hilarious and idiotic sequence in the history of cinema and no one can convince me otherwise 😅
Every time I watch it I'm so confused like... girl. HOW!?!
@@angelofpurity1992The baby inside of her (or fetus, whatever) is pushing to get the blood. It pushes so hard it injures Bella
@@DeathnoteBB It was executed poorly then because it looked absolutely ridiculous.
@@angelofpurity1992Oh it definitely was, I’m just saying it wasn’t Bella’s fault, the fetus vampire baby did it
@@DeathnoteBB I gotcha 😉
Glad someone else thinks the whole situation with Jacob and the child was weird. I found it extremely creepy and also it's like the writer didn't know what to do with Jacob's character and had to find him a partner fast then came up with the worst possible idea
Stephanie meyer deliberately (allegedly) ruined his character because fans loved him in new moon, so that's why he's such a jerk in eclipse so edward can seem like the better option. And in breaking dawn she wants bella to basically keep jacob in her life forever, so how else can she do that other than by using imprinting because Edward is bella's soulmate, and Jacob only loved bella's egg and not her. 😭🙃😫😐😟😒
I think the bigger idea was to showcase the child as the bridge between vampire and werewolf harmony. But since the child wasn't directly related to werewolves, there was no immediate way to do it. So she cooked the "imprint" trope so that werewolves feel as responsible for her as the vampires, this bonding over a common goal.
It's ridiculous, but there is a reason for that.
It's just still rlly creepy I was team Jacob before this😭😭
It was damn creepy af and yeah they ruined him to force ppl to go Edward. Yeeck.
Like seriously, there was female werewolf in the damn book, one that stood by Jacob with her little brother, why not her to tie up loose ends and make both groups happy? Nope have to have some weird bridge between werewolves and vampires that will make the werewolves lose their frickin' leader when he leaves with the vampires like a pet dog. Just 🤮
Just seriously this drivel only had cool background characters and all the MCs were boring and the story shit.
@@BleedingLiar17Was just about to comment the same thing. It’s not even alleged - it’s well known that Meyer was Team Edward and hated that so many people were Team Jacob after New Moon so deliberately set out to sabotage his character in Eclipse and Breaking Dawn. 😂
10:00 I really think that Bella has to have some kind of kink for rougher play. WHERE IS COMMUNICATION BROS
Also I bursted laughing at the start when Jacob just took his shirt off for no reason xD
Edward breaking the headboard kills me because of how many wood chips fall on Bella, like she for sure had a bunch of splinters in her hair, her back, I even worried for her eyes
Ironic how Steph Meyers is trying to push a prolife message into her film but does the complete opposite with that horrific birth scene.
Seriously I'm like yeet the cgi vampire fetus. YEET IT!
if thats what she was trying to do she did an awful job
@@unluckyomens370 yes it makes me go omg a cgi vampire baby is an ABOMINATION BEFORE ALL THE GODS
YEET IT
also why does she get human blood? What if humans need that?
And why didn't they just have a farm?
What she did do, effectively, was to show how equally ridiculous pro-choice is. "Hey it's my body, my choice" when literally everyone gave her the accurate information against that choice.
@@scientia.veritas What a bizarre non-sequitur
I never understood how Bella had 2 guys fighting over her, especially when she had the personality of a wet roll of toilet paper and was about as interesting as watching paint dry. Also, if you think about it, Jacob would essentially be a groomer, considering that he's going to be around Nessie as she grows up.
I have always said, if the imprinting has to happen, he should not have met her when she was a child. If he had to meet her as a child then there needed to be something else, like puberty, or she imprints on him, something that makes it less groomy. I get that they are like immortal/ live for like 100's of years so being with someone 20 years apart is really nothing to them, but it needed to be framed as consenting adults or something. Like damn @___@
Not would... he's CANONACLY a groomer, they just don't address it like it is
Yes! I watched Twilight with my aunt and several times she went “Bella has no personality” and “how can they be head over heels for her” or various other phrases that boil down to “she is so selfish”
@@LaCrownedGamerRight?? Why did it have to be a literal infant at all?? Let him date an adult-
Also this movie / books objectified Jakob and his pack in such gross way just to turn him into a pedo by the end.
I remember watching it in the theatre, when Aro was burned the whole studio cheered so loudly, only to be DEAD QUIET a few seconds later.
That American Vampire that 'hates British' is Lee Pace...He was 'Ronan the Accuser' in (Guardians of the Galaxy 1), also Legolas' Dad in the Hobbit trilogy and more recently as 'Day' in Foundation (great Sci-Fi show on Apple). He's great.
Oh my god, I keep forgetting Lee Pace was in these movies 😅
He was Flipping Ronan?! OMG 😂😂😂
When I was in elementary school there was this new girl who swore up and down that she was a real vampire. She actually started like a mini ‘cult’ following….she ended up getting in trouble with the school for taking girls to the bathroom to bite them and ‘transform them’. Sadly, after talking with her a few times, I had convinced myself that I was a werewolf……for an embarrassing amount of time. Anyways moral of the story is that twilight caused a LOT of weird shit.
Similar thing happened to me. I met a guy online who said was a vampire . And he ended up convincing me by guessing what things I had around my room (we never used cams, so he couldn't know).
I believed I was a vampire before twilight lmao
I wholeheartedly believed I was a stardust fairy or whatever it was called for like a year and I just wasn’t confident enough in my belief to transform
i pretended to be a vampire a lot as a kid, not because of twilight but because i used to have sharper and pointer than normal canines. they fell out years ago and i always was proud of them and really liked them so i'm kind of sad about it now lol
He could've been watching you through your camera, even though you weren't using it. Creepy to think about that. Or maybe you were just super basic and predictable as a teen.
Everyone seems to forget the scene where Edward walks in after and reads jacobs mind to find out he imprinted on his child and knocks his ass into a wall 😭💀 it makes the scene 100x funnier they should’ve left it in
As awful as Edward was in the series, what would have made that book 1000x better would be for both Edward and Bella to slaughter Jacob for daring to imprint on their child (doesn't matter if imprinting is not a choice - this dude had been creeping on Bella before she turned vamp - even to the point that she broke her hand fighting him off when he kissed her without permission - and is now creeping on their newborn baby). Instead of a war with the Voulturi, it could have been with the shapeshifters/wolves.
They did actually leave it in, at least in the version I once watched.
“Jacob runs away with Nellie” 😂
OMG. I’ve folded laundry for the first video now we’re cooking dinner for this one. Then I’m gonna have to go binge all your stuff because you are funny AF!! And make some really smart points. ❤
Finding out that Stephanie Meyer was a practicing Mormon make so much sense considering that these films always felt like a preteen's wet dream
This is probably why I could never get into Twilight. Also I’m asexual and Romanian so I’m not too impressed by vampires in media.
Alright that's a little malicious. Beimg Mormom has no impact on the story as you probably wished it were. The tropes in Twilight are no different than the tropes in any other romance novel, and is pretty much par for the course in a paranormal romance. Powerful males fighting over the 'helpless' human girl is common. A man 'stalking' her and being obsessed with her protection is common. Happily ever after with a wedding and a baby are common. The problem is that Twilight is a lot more popular and well-known than most other romance novels. Which is certainly no fault to Meyer. Like her or hate her, Meyer did draw in millions of readers for a successful franchise without having been heard of before writing. U could say "Yeah, well, so did the MCU and it sucks" but that was backed by major film studios with huge budgets. So Meyer deserves credit for that at least. I'm also generally of the opinion that just because I i might not like a author's prose or writing style, doesn't make bad writing either. There's so much negativity, all the time, levelled with such vitriol. It becomes this circlejerk of "Ooh! I thought of a new reason why Meyer is a bad writer!" and people jumping on it with zero critical thought, regardless of legitimacy or nuance. I've seen her criticized for things that weren't even in the books, that people made up
guessing the author did not direct or even write the movies... but no clue because i haven't watched or read either...
@@mmm-mmm It's in the books too, but either way I believe she did have a lot of involvement with the movie since it came out shortly after the success of the book series
Fun book fact: Edward and Bella only ever close-mouth kiss while she’s human because ALL of his fluids are venomous 😬
ok I did NOT remember that... omg, for real??????
Wait.. so Edward essentially has hella STDS 😭..?
Oh, yeah! His "blood" is venom, his "saliva" is venom, his..."seed"...is venom. The shite authors will come up with, man smh. Vampires' fluids are all replaced by venom, wizards shat themselves and vanished the mess before indoor plumbing, etc.
D:
@@ineedmyhoodieNo he has hella venom… like a snake
I love that song. It was awesome. I am going to write an emo vampire love story complete with a werewolf, zombie, and a fairy love square just for you so you can do all the music. You're too awesome. Love the videos.
Dude I just found your channel and I love the way you convey information 🤣 let's give it a telenovela edit 🤣🤣🤣 I cant comprehend how you made this so comical. It's like this entire series is targeted at what preteen and teen girls think they want in romance when they have zero actual relationship experience
The fact that Jacob not only imprints on a child- but later gets in a relationship with said child just blows my mind.
Breaking Dawn only takes place for three months. How is Jacob in a relationship with Renesmee?
@@leahscontemporaryIt was implied.
@@leahscontemporary It deff was implied in alice's prediction
🤮
I also found it super weird
Just here to remind everybody that they allow Jacob to put a promise-ring on Renesmee while she's still a child 💀
what?? i completely missed this??!
@@nishajohn7847 Yeah, it's a failed attempt to make it about something it wasn't.
LDS, amirite?
OMG i forgot that!
I am very mad about what they did to my boi Jakob. first they took his hair, then they made him a Furry and to add insult to injury they made him a Pedophile
That song at the end was better than all the movies combined
holy shit that song is amazing. I mean I've been on the wrong end of that question, "how could I choose between you and a werewolf?" before, but I thought I was alone in that experience. So glad someone else gets it.
Please make sure to note: you can get pregnant after having sex once. You absolutely can.
"heh, I don't think so" - famous last words of every high school girl.
I did 😁
I’ve never watched or read twilight but I just clicked the thumbnail bc I’m confused why this UA-camr thought this was weird. Ofc you can get pregnant on your first time especially if you’re not using contraceptives.That’s not unrealistic.
@@marialoveday9443SAME! I clicked just for that
@@marialoveday9443yep, and just because 40-year old aspiring moms have trouble with that, it does not mean a very young woman would have any problem whatsoever. And oftentimes older age is not a problem either. I conceived my son with a single intercourse after a longer break when I was 32. I'm just saying this in hope some girl who was not aware would come across this and read it. All the best!
Jacob went through one of the most devastating character assassinations I've ever seen in any film since all of existence.
You're stupid. Jacob went through so much trauma after his transformation and after New Moon and you're just like "oh he's not anymore a one dimensional perpetually happy sunshine boy uwu who's never gone through anything and is expected to be a stagnant blank character and only Bella and Edward’s are supposed to have character development...." And you supposed "Twilight fans" don't know anything on how the character was made or the author's intentions? Since you don't know, according to Stephenie Meyer herself, she wanted to explore the concept of choice, both in the overall story, but aspects of the triangle as it all combinated in Eclipse. She choose Wuthering Heights, as Eclipse's literary parallel and used that as a means to explore the relationships between Bella and Edward, Bella and Jacob, and Jacob and Edward. The name and cover of Eclipse as well as its literary parallels explains everything. Besides if you don't know, spoilers, Edward was at his worst throughout the whole series in Eclipse, again spoilers,(taking out the engine and disabling Bella's car, tailgating her, kidnapping her, instigating an argument between her and her father, threatening to kill Jacob etc...) and did no one say that was to make him look worse than Jacob after New Moon. C'mon this a paranormal story. You expect the once innocent human character to stay the same after witnessing such horrors. Even Bella was a changed person as the story goes on
To be fair, that wedding was absolutely gorgeous. Goals, honestly.
the song you made is amazing!!! giving me some trip down the memory lane where I used to listen to Avril Lavigne and Paramore!!
So Jacob went from being obsessed with Bella to her daughter. That's wierd.
Bro fr went "if she leaves you for another, there is always her mother" but reverse
It's bc he imprinted on her egg
He's less obsessed with Bella and more infatuated with her, and I think it had a lot to do with her being the only girl he has really ever interacted with that wasn't a member of his tribe, and with Renesmee, obsession is an understatement, it's written like a literal compulsion to be near and care for her. I think the main problem is that Jacob was never meant to be a recurring character, and she had to figure out something to do with him when they solidified the marriage.
The book also basically says he will eventually become her husband after being a father figure.
While watching this retrospective, one thing has become painfully apparent to me:
They _never_ figured out what to do with Alice's hair over the course of the series.
Which is wild because the first movie did it perfectly
That end song you made was so good tho😭😭😭
Omg - your song at the end - PERFECTION! And so catchy! 🎉
The scene where she goes into labor and is CUT OPEN traumatized me as a child. And thats why i dont want children
Same. I wasn't sure before the I saw BD and I knew
I never read it myself but if I remember correctly in the book they don’t have all the medical supplies and Edward actually chews the baby out of her womb
@@AmbassadorKatIirc it's something like the womb became changed by the half vampire baby and tools no longer worked, breaking scalpels and stuff so there was only the choice of vampire fangs - which were previously established to be able to break through vampire skin.
God I read this book as a coping mechanism as a kid and it shows so much tbh
@@AmbassadorKat Jesus christ im so greatful I never read the books
@@doodlethealien8889 I wish I hadn't if I'm being honest. Only good thing I got was becoming a fan of Paramore and being able to relate to people about how shitty Twilight is.
Fun fact each Twilight film (except both parts of Breaking Dawn) has a different director and it kinda shows
the first one was definitely the best tbh
@@isabellek_🤨
@@isabellek_a lot of people disliked the blue filter but tbh I think it really adds to the vibe. The first director was also the only female director and usually made indie films which is why there are so many Dutch angles and indie songs lol
@@leonineKelterthe first one was directed by catherine hardwicke who also directed the movie thirteen which also had a blue filter vibe during the end of the film, so it kinda shows throughout her work especially with twilight
The song at the end SLAPS! And you're funny af! I hope you hit 1M soon 😊
35:46 For sure in the books, and probably briefly in the movies at some point, they mention how they have high interest savings accounts that have been operating for decades, if not, centuries. I think Carlisle even works as a doctor in Forks for free or very cheap
Jacob's character development is so weird when you consider the fact he's apparently Meyer's favourite character
NOOO THE GROOMERRR
Don't forget that he is also named after her BROTHER! What kind of deranged person names the love interest of her book after her own brother??
@@Melissa-sx9vh I FORGOT ABOUT THAT
@@Melissa-sx9vh omg gross really?
@@Breexbloodlust yes! All of her siblings are characters in the saga but some have really prominent roles (Jacob, Seth) and some have kind of terrible characters/stories attached to them (Heidi, Emily, Paul)
no one is gonna talk about that banger song at the end??? that actually SLAPPED
I've found myself binging your content lately, and you just keep on pumping out quality.
Thanks.
"Edward will be a good husband. I know this because I'm a cop. They know things. Like how to hunt somebody."
Lol I can't
"I also have a gun" lol
@@enchanted_wildflower_"with silver bullets"
(Some stories say vampires are weak to silver I can't remember if twilight is one of em.)
Hobbies I remember from the books:
Bella: reading and cooking
Edward: piano?
Rosalie: fixed up cars
Esme: architecture and home renovation (and being wonderful honestly)
Emmet: ??? Strong????
Alice: fashion and decoration
Jasper: no thoughts, head empty
Carlisle: doctor
And Charlie liked to fish
@@reannamckee43 I love how whenever Stephanie needed him to not know about something, or just be absent for something and he wasn't at work, he would always, without fail, be out fishing lol.
"???strong???" I'm dying 😂😂
Emmet would be the gym bro if he wasn’t a vampire
This is very accurate 😂
Easy 4 Chord Steucture
Loose Lyrical Rhyming scheme
Hating the small town where you live
This is the most Pop-Punk song I have heard I a long time. A long time…
Honestly, the shifters wouldn't have even known about the pregnancy had Jacob stayed away. What was he going to do when he arrived at the Cullen house had Bella been in her transformation/transformed into a vampire? Attempt to kill the lot of them? And as far as I can tell, the tribe elders, and Sam felt that Bella had been given enough information in Eclipse to make an informed choice over becoming a vampire and knew what she'd be giving up, and they were fine with it. It was Jacob who felt he knew better as a 16/17 year old kid and could make decisions for someone else's future.
Jasper : 👁👄👁
👁👄👁
LMAO the eyes are staring into my mfkn soul!!
💀
🟠👄🟠
🧿👄🧿
I read them as an 18 year old dude and just happened to read the series (and finish it) the weekend the 4th book came out (people on Gaia wouldn't shut up about it). By the end it was less a Vampire Romance story and more of a Vampire Superhero Infinity War situation where everyone just flexed their powers. Fuckin wild, idk why middle aged ladies came so hard to them.
The power in this fucking comment
this comment unlocked a core memory, made me reactivate my gaia account and revisit messages from
but people ride so hard for part 2
My mother rarely reads but she read the shit out of those books and bought all the movies and the secondhand embarrassment was real. 🙄
You brought up Gaia and now I’m pretty sure I’m able to get senior discounts
I binged both Twilight videos...
I love them. And the song unironically.
New subscriber for you
I just found your channel, and I am obsessed. These Twilight videos did indeed make me laugh out loud IRL. The Charlie bit is brilliant, and the "fiNaNCIal SecreTs VamPirEs DON'T wAnT yOu to kNow" ad absolutely sent me. I smashed subscribe so hard. New fan!!
i have a copyright claim on my video that is clearly not the actual copyright holders thats causing blocking in some countries, so i've appealed it. hopefully this video doesn't get taken down even though it's fair use lol 😭 so if this video disappears you know why
i hate this town (a twilight parody): ua-cam.com/video/MHncIUhnAnw/v-deo.html
spotify: open.spotify.com/track/4CwdQu5i6JUvqk8HWXwfHW?si=ee9bab84075a4fe9
i just wont refresh my page loll
If anything is fair use it's this, the amount of work you put into these is amazing.
I like dordles 😮
Ah shit my bad I pressed the wrong button and must’ve hit claim
I will be streaming i hate this town every day
it's kinda nuts looking back how this basically just turns into a body horror movie
It's insane
They're horny or they're serving gore
Reminds me when we use to wear onions on our belts...
OH MY GOD the song in the end just KILLED ME that was PURE ART and PEACK COMEDY
and I HATE THIS TOWN from another vid hit so hard
thank you for inspiration!
Daaaamn girl you really went all out on that song!! and I'm totally here for it!! 😭😂❤
"A Day In The Life If Charlie Swan" ran as a joke so it could sprint as an anti-joke. The bit had more character development than anyone in these films.
The whole Jacob imprinting on a baby thing was super uncomfortable and weird but something about him trying to take the baby away from her mother made me even more uncomfortable and I didn’t think it was possible. Like sorry bud but I don’t think the baby is any safer with you obsessing over her because you’re secretly in love with her even though she’s …. A baby
And the series +could+ have at least attempted to save it by making clear that it's completely platonic (and that he'd be her "protector" and father-/big brother-figure instead) but nope, he is literally a groomer.
because if you think about it for just one second, we know that attraction and romantic feelings usually don't occur from one second to another but develop.
so at what age does it go from Jacob seeing her as a child he wants to protect to a young woman he wants to date? and how uncomfortable is that whole transition period?
@@xxxaragonThe thing is Stephanie did it on purpose to make Jacob worse than Edward. There was no saving it because the disgust is intentional.
i meannn in the books it kinda explains that “imprinting” doesn’t exactly mean you’re romantically/sexually in love.
@@1tg0r1but alices look at the future with renesmee and jacob proves that it is romantic
@@1tg0r1 the stages of imprinting on the wiki literally just describe grooming bro 😭
hands down, one of the most underrated youtubers around. I'm glad I wasn't the only one who watched this series and laughed my ass off. The midwest pop-punk song at the end actually goes hard despite how much I lol'd at the lyrics
My favorite story to tell related to twilight is that when my grandmother saw one of the movies in theaters, during the death of carlisle she screamed “CARLISLE NO” and my mother was incredibly angry at her
The birth scene was awful in theatres I went with my sister and the moment her back broke I fell to the floor and proceeded to stay there curled around my sisters legs 😭😂
I would too 😭😭
I laughed
Thats so real, I hid behind my mom's chair 🤔