Why Married Couples Must Be Open to Children
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- Опубліковано 8 вер 2024
- Do you have any “expectations” when you think about marriage?
A lot of us probably think of marriage as broadly the same thing: two people coming together in love to spend the rest of their lives together. But when we start to dive into the specifics of that idea, it’s important to recognize the difference between what the world expects from marriage and what God expects.
The Church teaches that in the case of sacramental marriage, it is asked and even expected of the couple that they be open to life throughout their marriage. This is why the priest performing the ceremony and leading marriage prep asks the couple if they are freely, fruitfully, fully, and faithfully entering the sacrament with their spouse.
Unfortunately, our world often tells us that marriage doesn’t need to be open to life. People will even sometimes say it’s selfish and reckless to bring children into a world that is so broken. But the truth of the matter is that a marriage can’t be sacramental without an openness to life, and that’s a big deal.
Now, what about couples who can’t have kids, or are past the age of childbearing? Those marriages are no less sacramental than the ones that have children, so long as they’re still open to the procreation of children. It’s the orientation towards procreation that’s important, not the achievement of it.
Bottom line is, sacramental marriage is a gift of self towards another, totally, fruitfully, fully, and faithfully. Without an openness to life and the procreation of children, this gift of self is not complete, and therefore it cannot be a sacrament of God. Openness to procreation is an essential part of God’s plan for romantic intimacy, regardless of what “expectations” the world may have for marriage.
Im about to get personal here so forgive me, but i've been struggling with this very topic for months now. the timing of this video seems like Devine intervention. I have 3 children with my husband, all 3 of them under 3 years old. I get so many thinly veiled rude comments like "you guys must not have a tv" or "wow I could never do all of that..." I struggle with the judgement I face from others despite how much I love my family. I want to be open to life and wouldn't mind having more kids eventually but even family thinks I'm crazy for not "being done" (yes we are financially stable as well.) I just don't know how to handle all of the negativity anymore.
I heard this once, to the people who said don’t you have a tv say “if you think tv is better than sex, you’re doing it wrong”! 😂 that was from Matt Fradd. Just don’t worry about what others think, you clearly have a great relationship that others don’t understand.
Ignore them is the best way, my mother has 5 brothers and sisters and they are So close they really each other's bests friends, their love is so heart warming. I have lots of cousins from all of my beautiful aunts and uncles , nothing better then a close big happy family. Love having a big family there is always a shoulder to lean on.
I don't have kids myself but I can give you some 'take it or leave it' advice. First of all, understand you absolutely do not have to explain yourself to anyone! If you'd like to do so, explain simply and move along. Secondly, I would use the 'kill them with kindness' approach. When someone says something like "wow, you sure have your hands full." Respond something like this "my family is important to me." Or "children are so precious." Etc. the point is, you don't owe them anything. God puts all children on this earth for a reason and as long as you accept that and love your children, that's all that matters!
@@kaliek3781 The TV comment must be popular if there are people who have come up with creative replies like that haha. thank you!
@@RecoveringLiberal1984 Ive always dreamt of having a big happy family just like that! Both my husband and I come from catholic backgrounds but small families. We wanted different for our own kids.
Hi everyone. I haven't seen anyone comment on Natural Family Planning in the context of this video. Being open to life does not mean that you can't cooperate with the way God created us and use signs of fertility to achieve or avoid pregnancy. There are several methods and many great instructors ( I highly recommend an instructor to guide you through the learning curve!!) I've been married 18 years and have 1 son in Heaven and 4 I'm trying to get there... and each of those pregnancies was planned. There were times during those 18 years that we weren't ready for another baby and NFP allowed us to live our vocation according to God's plan and design.
I herd of NFP, what in the cycle is not regular and never has been? I have two kids. I love them. I love big families and would like to have one of my own, but health wise I was told by my OB. I should stop. Talking to my Family Medicine Dr, he also told me I was very high risk. Basically saying that I should be thankful for the kids I have and the kids I have now need a mom in there lives. That news is hard to hear, I want to be a good mom, wife, Catholic, but my parents and siblings are also pressing me to stop, for my health.
@@Paola-jf2qf If your health is in danger, then that is a different situation. The Catholic Church supports the mother if her life is in danger.
Nfp didn't help us...wife has lifelong illnesses. And we have seven kids. And before anyone starts repeating what we already know..."life is a gift." I would never say life isn't a gift but it sure is perplexing and sometimes difficult to wrap your head around. We do not want more children
@@Paola-jf2qf contraception is always a mortal sin. You must then abstain
@@stayathomemarine that is not true. Contraception is never licit. It’s an “intrinsic evil” for a reason.
Marriage is hard. Raising children is hard. Couples who give theses relationships to God and seek His guidance are immensely blessed.
Father Mike thank you for your awesome encouraging words. My husband and I just found out that we are expecting our 7th child! We are excited but nervous. Please pray for us?!
Congratulations! Will be praying for you!
🙂
Thank you so much!😁
May God Bless your family!
Congratulations what a wonderful blessing!!!
I was married in December ‘89. Baby in October ‘90. 🤗 four boys now, beyond joy the blessing is infinite
It is really sad to hear how much disdain for children there is.
Kathleen, Please ignore this crusty item. He's a piece of glass on a beach.
@Crusty Accident (just because something feels good doesn’t mean Jesus approves it) project much?
Wonderful. Couples who want to have children should have children. I don't have any disdain for children, or for people of any age. I just know that parenting is not for me. I'm sure some people experience joy from being mothers or fathers, and I experience joy from being childfree. Isn't life so much better when all people respect one another?
not disdain.. no money.. child care is expensive :/
@@Btn1136 Oh to the contrary, raising kids does not "feel good", but it appears Jesus approves of it.
Married in March, now expecting in April. Wow, what God can do in such a short time.
Congrats! It took my husband and I 2.5 years after we got married for our first. 14 months only for the second though. LoL. Due in January.
Hope everything is going well for you.
@@Wolfqueen007 thank you. I’ll be praying for both of our children and families.
God bless you, your wife and baby! I had the same experience. Now we have a 4 month old :)
Godspeed.
@@patricksegubiense thank you!
From USCCB site: ”The Catholic Church continues to hold that marriage is, and can only ever be, the union of one man and one woman: a conjugal (total) union that is ordered toward the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of children.”
Hold that thought and go read about what the faux successor of Peter endorsed today.
@@letsrock8899 Am I out of touch?
No, It's the pope who is wrong.
@@lshoopdawhoopl absolutely
@@letsrock8899 exactly ... Been banging my head on the wall since...
@@letsrock8899 I'm making fun of you, just so you know. You just believe whatever you want and call it Christianity.
Why don't priests preach this at Mass? Never in my life have I heard of these four elements needing to be present. I can think of so many "Catholic " marriages that aren't sacramental. 😕
Do you have marriage courses? Here, in Indonesia, other than obligatory marriage courses, we also have courses for couples (boyfriend-girlfriend). They teach us these kinds of things in those courses.
@@mmswp.channel there are marriage courses, but nothing else. These are things we need to know before getting involved with someone. Clergy in India is way behind in catechising the laity. Unless you look for yourself, you don't find answers. Thank God for priests like Fr Mike, Fr Ripperger, etc..
Find a different church with a good priest.
Cowardice, poor catechesis, or heterodoxy.
They don't preach because of politics.... apparently some churches are often silenced because people complains so much that the Liturgy is so long or the priest talks too much which is absurd and often people are desperate to leave the temple in a rushing way like.... if they don't even care about attending mass.
One time in the Church of Guadalupe there was a "Lady" who was one of these types of people who leaves mass earlier.
So Basically this Lady.... instead of waiting for the Final Blessings, she desperate went running into the exist door of the temple until, she fell down straight into her face which eventually after that hard falling she died.... in the middle of a mass before the priest was giving the final blessings.
I guess that was the Lord calling her.
True Story.
(Sorry my bad grammar, I'm Dixlesic)
Marriage is a vocation of raising humans and allowing your wife and kids to divinise you. It's not meant to be about your satisfaction. But people treat it as such and when they do, their marriage and family is less love filled than if they didn't treat their wife and kids as sources of their own pleasure. This life is a devotion to Christ, to becoming Christ, to being Christ.
Yep. Selfishness always destroys us.
The carnal animal wants its pleasures, riches, and glory. This all most definitely is foolishness to some and a stumbling block to others. Just read the comments. Marriage, for man and woman, in the sacrificial love they both give, uniting with God's creative power to produce life, is the best vehicle for salvation.
@@icouch There is absolutely nothing boring about raising kids.
What do you mean by divinise?
@@icouch There are different kinds of satisfaction. There is the shallow and selfish kind of satisfaction that comes from the practice of using others to get all you can for yourself. As soon as the usefulness of the other party ceases, so does the relationship. Selfish satisfaction is never a foundation for a lasting and loving relationship whether it be marriage or friendship. This, I am certain, is what Joshua King meant when he wrote that marriage is not meant to be about your satisfaction.
There is, however, a different kind of satisfaction that is deep and selfless. It comes from acting for the good of others, even when it's difficult and requires self-sacrifice. Pursuit of this kind of satisfaction will impart great value to any relationship and keep it intact. There is nothing boring about possessing honor and integrity. Those who have those qualities will be recognized for it and will be respected by people of good will. Those who are selfish and are only seeking self-gratification will also be recognized for it. They will be reviled.
*But Peter was married and apparently he had no children, and if he did, then he was a bad parent since he wasn't there for them.*
Also (1 Corinthians 7:1-2) says that marriage is also to prevent sexual depravity, he didn't mention anything about must have children.
We never used protection, but never tried to have children (outside of one time), and now is too late anyway. We are blessed the way we are living like that. I always pray that if I have to have children to send me a sign, but that never came, so I see a huge blessing in the way we are nowadays.
“...loving like God, or it’s not a sacrament of God’s love.” Magnificent! Thank you, Father.
My husband and I are expecting our first in a couple of months. I feel beyond blessed that the Lord is giving us this new little life to care for and raise.
So excited for you! First baby can be tough to adjust to even if you have the right mindset going in but such a precious miracle. God has blessed my husband and me with a few beautiful children, and we figure the number may double
I feel that it is not our call to refuse to bring children into a "broken" world. Children are arrows that the Lord intends to use to fix the broken world.
Amen! We were once children....did we choose to come in this world? No. The Lord is in the driver's seat and we are here for the ride and purpose
Christopher...then we need more parents like you cause I'm turning rather sinical in my old age
I agree but also do arrows fix things? lol
@@valq10 Well, God wants to use us as His hands and feet to share His love into the world, which can help bring order and heaven on earth.
I am so glad i never procreated. The greatest accomplishment of my life. Children have a right not to be brought into existence.
Having children has a chance of making people with mental health disorders spiral. There are so many reasons why people will not have children it’s not always ‘selfish’, and quite frankly there’s nothing wrong with being childfree for ‘selfish’ reasons anyway.
Then don’t have sex
@@TCZ17090we shall continue to have sex im afraid
God can heal that! I thought it was crazy, until I I was the one he healed.
When I read genesis 1 and 2 my understanding is that the first intention of marriage is companionship. God is complementing what is lacking since men are created tho His likeness, and God is already God the Father and God the Son and the Holy Spirit. So then as a natural result of that companionship, humanity is whole, as a tree that has both roots and branches. Then those trees which bare fruit will produce them. Those that do not bare are also Gods but he intended something different for those.
In any case, I love this channel although I have a different interpretation of scripture at times; and I wanna say that Father Mike is truly an inspiration for me. He helped me rediscover my faith and i am forever thankful for that. He is truly a conduit of Gods infinite love.
I also believe procreation is absolutely secondary to companionship in marriage.
@@paulcosta8297 Good thing we have official church teachings and tradition that have given us the correct interpretation of the bible so we don't all have to rely on our own interpretation. That would be so confusing to have so many different ideas as to what the scriptures say and have to weed through all the different interpretations.
@@Tom-kk1zu It's not confusing when you have _personal and direct communication with Christ_
The small still voice in your heart, remember? His voice is the final authority in all things, far surpassing doctrine (thoughts of other men).
God bless everyone at Ascension Presents.
Well done Father. I am preparing for the Sacrament of Marriage next year. Thanks for doing this video.
Congratulations!
The union of marriage is a gift of all gifts..."The One" gift that creates the gift of children...
This is such a great talk, thank you Father. It enriches marriage even more when you understand it’s true purpose.
It’s purpose isn’t procreation. That’s just an additional component that you can add to it.
Some people are called to parenthood and some aren't. I don't think that every person is meant to be a parent.
You’re right, not everyone will get to be a parent if that’s not what God has planned for them. However, if you are married you must be open to the possibility.
I agree Nola. I see so many parents that are just awful and it seems they are just harming the next generation. So many neglected, unloved, mistreated little human beings and it just breaks my heart. I think it’s selfish for couples to be irresponsible and keep having kids they don’t take care of very well. What’s worse in Gods eyes choosing to not have kids or being given the gift to have kids and not take care of them as you should? Just my thoughts.
cool wine aunt in the making
Almost everyone should be parents
Kids are never a burden, they're always a blessing.
They are a blessing, but it's not everyone's business raising them!
This is true, but sadly not all realize this even when they have kids.
Children are always a blessing! They are not always easy that too is a blessing in a different way. Sometimes difficult situations call us to be the person God called us to be.
@@palmina77italiana Wha....?
@@palmina77italiana Ohhh, I get what you're saying now. I didn't even have that sort of thing in mind when I made my comment. I was just acknowledging the sad reality that some people still see children as a burden even when they have them. I just wish these people would have a change of heart. Of course I'm not advocating for children to be taken away from their homes willy-nilly. Again, that was not even in my mind when I made the comment.
Fr. You hit straight to the core of the issue. Your speak with clarity and truth. With faithful priests like you the Church is in good hands.
@Crusty Accident what do you call your biological father? You can’t possibly call him dad or you would be offending God by your logic.
I agree with all the reasons people dont have kids.. one of the reasons why im not married yet
I think for people who want to marry and not have kids is never a problem. It’s absolutely fine
If people want to get married and never have kids then they don't actually want to get married, marriage is the vocation to the family life.
@@friedawells6860 No. Marriage is a union between a man and a woman to become 1 unit. It has nothing to do with the promise of having children.
@@SoraLover963 The union between a man and a woman naturally produces children. The bond of marriage exists almost entirely for the purpose of creating a stable family life for the couple but even more so for their children.
It's only in our modern individualist culture that promotes that we sterilize ourselves with contraception and abort children who are conceived in spite of our contraception, that we could come up with the totally backward idea that marriage "has nothing to do with" children.
My not having children is not at all about fear. It is about compassion and concern for others. The world is so overcrowded and there is so much suffering. My adding children will not help. If I decide to devote my life to helping others, and spend my time and money on the poor and needy instead of my own children who are not in need because they don't exist, am I not to enjoy the married life also? Must I be celibate to be in service to others?
What about couples who are too poor to afford to have kids? Must they remain celibate because they are poor? Or should they have kids that go hungry?
I noticed this video came out much later in the day than it usually does. Either it's an indirect response to what everyone found out about Francis and his stance on same sex civil unions, or it was a divine coincidence.
It’s so easy to make marriage about oneself. What you do for me. How you make me feel. Those things are great but if it’s only about what we “get” then when times are tough there’s nothing holding them together.
I'm sure when this was made for this release date Ascension had no idea of the significance!
I really like these “hard” talks. More people need to hear what the Catholic faith is all about.
Seek the person of Jesus Christ, not any specific denomination🙂
@Matt Blaise there was an early church that was distinguishable before the Catholic Church came about, although I understand how you come to this conclusion. The Catholic Church in itself is filled with tradition of man which is why we turn to Christ and his word for ultimate truth and allow all human authority to be subject to Him.
God bless you Fr. Schmitz!
I don't know if it's on purpose. But it does not matter. It is a response from God to what Pope Francis said. It is not Father Mike defending the Church. It is God defending his own Church through Father Mike.
Well said, Sergio.
If marriage was taught to be a binding sacrament rather than a signing of legal papers, maybe the world would be a better place today.
Correcting the pope without ever mentioning his name. Very charitable of you! God's love.
@@lumina5 I would say most people, especially in this age, don't make for good parents out the gate. I know my wife and I were terrible spouses and parents at first (like many today, we didn't have good modeling by our parents). I think like anything worthwhile and greater than our "selves" requires a lot of work and transformation, and quite frankly, a type of dying. Ascension, if you will, into a higher version of one's self, once the ego is shed. Unfortunately, that isn't what we see all the time. Many husbands and wives fail and give up. Parents fail and give up. But, I think it was G.K. Chesterton who once wrote, "anything worth doing is worth doing badly."
What do you mean?
What did the pope say and how is Fr Mike correcting him?
Be fruitful and multiply.
Good quote.
That is why I am so happy when the Hindus and Muslims have big families!
Replenish the Earth.
Now a days when both parent have to work to pay the bills how can you expect them to have children they can't financially afford. The cost of daycare in this country is so high. Not all kids get scholarships and college tuition is very expensive too. My daughter worked 2 jobs and it still was expensive. Its not the 1950s when a parent could stay home to raise children.
If you're worried about financial issues just trust in Lord. God will provide for you
They don’t need to both work. They want to both work because they need “nice things”
What if a couple doesn't want to have their own biological children, but is open to adoption?
You must be open to life. Even Natural Family Planning (NFP) is still open to the possibility of life as it is not 100% effective especially if the woman has an irregular cycle.
Thank you so much Father Mike and Ascension Presents. God bless you.
Knowing how vile this world is...why would anyone even consider children.
It just amazes me how selfish people can be. All this just to fill a void in their lives or to meet an expectation.
However, I do appreciate hearing from Christians about their view of things
Children are a blessing from God
I have always known since I was a small child that I NEVER want to have children. It’s just not for me. There’s no grey area there, I’m not having kids. Kids are a blessing only to those who actually WANT them. I will never be open to having kids and I don’t think that’s going to change because it’s been such a strongly held sentiment since I was a little kid. So according to the Catholic Church does this mean that marriage isn’t my vocation?
My question is, if marriage should be exclusive to people who are open to having children, then what is the relevance of what St Paul said, talking about, if you can't control your passions, you are permitted to get married? This goes the same for the battle against contraceptives by the church. Are we expected to not have sex with our spouse when we have reached the number of children we want, forgetting that sex within marriage is holy, contraceptives where never condemned in the Bible and the Bible tells us that our body belongs to our spouse and vice versa
What about a couple who *are* fertile but who consciously decide they want to adopt children out there who are desperately needing love and care?
@@palmina77italiana adoption agencies don’t find children, birth mothers with an unplanned pregnancy approach them instead of having an abortion. And then adoptive parents pay a lot of money and have to jump many hoops to prove they are fit to be parents. And the birth mothers pick the parents. At least that’s how it’s all done here.
@@palmina77italiana Rip kids who had parents die in a car crash. According to Palmina, they are being trafficked....
My husband and I have two little daughters and I have been birth control free for almost two years now. It is absolutely life changing. I feel more womanly than I have ever felt in my entire life. My body is doing EXACTLY what God intended it to do
There are such things as Families of two without children 😌
So then if I want the companionship of marriage but not kids can I just put it off till I cannot have children?
Baby 7 all because of trusting in God was going to tie my tubes after my third but I turned to God more then ever and he transformede and I trusted in him fully and my children are such a blessing I couldn't imagine life without him
Fr. Mike I need to hear your opinion regarding to Pope Francis states of same-sex civil union
What happened?
I'm sorry to break it to you guys, but Pope Francis was actually heavily misquoted here. Just saw the clip in it's context. If you are interested look at the instagram page oralecp, it belongs to a franciscan friar.
@@gerardos256 Thank you I'll check it
@@steph-anie1448 It it now on trend that Pope Francis stated to have same-sex civil union. Read the articles
@@gerardos256 Thanks for sharing. It's scary how much damage the media can do by twisting someone's words like that. Hopefully this clarification spreads
I feel sad that we replaced selfish desires such as materialistic goods and freedom ahead of service to others. We need to pray for everyone.
I have bipolar and psychosis and am afraid of passing mental illnesses.
You could adopt. There are other ways of having children dear ♥️
Yes, I am contemplating adoption. Although I haven't had any symptoms since going to healing prayers, I have faith god can cure me. I had a dream of God showing me with a boy.
@@AA-lq5bj woah, that's beautiful. Goodluck to you 🙏🙏
It is such a pity that more parish priests don't preach in these terms from the pulpit on a Sunday morning. Explaining to our young faithful why the Church teaches as it does on this issue is more likely to get results than just saying "No". Fr Mike does a great job of that. Marriage is vocational not recreational; the reasoning behind the Church's teaching on contraception reinforces marriage.
The funny thing that people don’t realize is that the Catholic faith is NEVER about yourself. It’s *ALWAYS* about giving yourself in service to God and to other people. Any personal benefits are simply bonus.
Thank you for putting it so simply. I never saw it like this. Blessings.
Actually, for ANY Christian, one's life is not about them. Our life is God's only. We don't live for ourselves, we live for God.
Children deserve parents who want them though. We shouldn’t have kids if we aren’t equipped to take care of them
@@Nursegirlalexandra Yes, you're right, no one should have children if they don't want them.
The vocation of marriage is for two purposes, the union of a man and woman and being open to children.
If one does not want children, then one does not marry.
Instead you have a vocation of a single person. There is a lot you can do to serve God in the vocation of a single person.
I loved everything Fr. Mike said he, with one exception. He said several times that if you are not open to children, you do not have ”a sacramental marriage." It's not ONLY that your marriage does not have the graces of the sacrament, but that you are (in fact) NOT married at all.
What a stupid comment. So I can marry a woman who is in 99.9% of marriages, without committing adultery, because she doesn't share your unbiblical belief against the morality of married birth control? Insane.
I will always be open to the idea but its really not for me. God says it's better to be childless than to raise ungodly children and in today's society, no matter how great of a parent you are, this society will corrupt them. I have a lot of mental health issues as well and there's nothing wrong with married couples not wanting to have children. If im meant to have them, nothing i do will prevent me from having them but I do not believe it is my calling to be a mother and im 100% okay with it.
To anyone who reads this, please pray that I find a husband soon and that we're able to start a family. 😊🙏
is that your life goal.
Hi Fr. Mike! Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Do you have any advice for men and women who are not open to children because they suffer from depression, anxiety disorder, schizophrenia or other mental illnesses and afraid that they can pass down their illnesses to their children? How can they overcome this fear?
and don't forget all of the inherited diseases that are inflicted on them by bad genes
Ok so, here's what I believe and believe it strongly. Some of u may not agree, and it's alright. I'm not posting this comment to force my opinion over anyone. Frst thing, let's go as per the scriptures strictly, and there, if we look, the only sin which cannot be, can never be forgiven is, the blasphemy about the Holy Spirit. Now, we do know and understand children are a gift from God at the same time we are aware of how difficult life has become nowadays where both parents are required to work as hard as possible, to get daily bread to the table for the family. Yes females are called for motherhood, and males are to work, what if certain male members are not strong enough to work 2 jobs? What if they- the males, need rest as well. Do we realise taking care of the household vs. Working ur @$$ off, giving 40-50 hours a week or maybe more if it's 2 jobs, how difficult it is. The entire pressure of the family falls on that one man, who may die of serious health issues. I'm sure God is not for this idea. So now, if 2 members r wrkng, and expecting a baby, do u really think this is the generation where a mother would really be taking care of the baby whole heartedly? No of course, well hire a nanny and pay her to take care of the child and raise the baby. How is the core duty as parents fulfilled there? It's again, violating what the rules of the church, the rules from God, That's not the intent either. So now, there may be people, leave alone the part of satisfaction and being selfish, it's rather being selfless when ure being a childless couple. So now, what if the couple is so rooted in the Lord that all they want is to dig time and spend all of that in praying and worshipping, instead of havin a child and making babies? What if the couple intends to save souls being married, be a team, and bring them to the Lord? Remember what Paul says - 1 Corinthians 10:23-24
"All things are lawful," but not all things are helpful. "All things are lawful," but not all things build up. No one should seek their own good, but the good of others. I am in relationship with somebody and I Truly want the love of the Lord more than the love from my child, a baby, who could forsake and disown u any time later, The world is too wicked anyway. Also, in 1 Cor 10:31- So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.
Like I mentioned, forget about travelling, getting intimate, what if the couple Truly wants to seek Jesus together and heal people, cast out demons, bring back the lost souls to the Lord? I mean that's exactly the jist of our faith, to bring Glory to His Holy name✝️✝️✝️✝️ so if we can die for our faith, with no fear, we can definitely choose to stay childless if it has to be a choice between seeking God OR making babies. Again, that's only when we're Truly seeking the Lord, it should not contradict otherwise. If there r any other reasonings, which I feel should not be there cz anything that doesn't have God, and yet the couple decides to be childless, excusing, all medically unfit couples, all due respect to them❤, then it's highly selfish and the idea should be dropped right away...
Like I said to a friend of mine when discussing marriage, when Jesus says "The two become one flesh" it refers to the children. After all, to put it poetically, a child is the DNA of two people made flesh.
What about couples in their 40s-50s? When there is quite a possibility that the child is born with birthdefects etc. due to an older mother? There is obviously always a chance for that but we all know chances rise with the age of the mother. Love to know your take on that.
Yo ho, yo ho, the lifelong voluntary celibate’s life for me.
Mood
Let’s gooooo
Single Blessedness club I see 😂
This is something i cannot do, so basically i live in sin continuously. Single life is nothing for me, always had someone, many relationships, 2 of them went over 6 years, but raising children is also nothing i could handle in the long run and from my experience, today's women are so damaged they would make terrible mothers since they can't even handle a faithful relationship over longer time periods.
@@davidrobertjones2097 I hope you will pray and pray often
My head spins with Father’s nervous rapid speech on sexual topics. Life is much more complicated than the Church’s rigid, aged interpretations/ stance. You leave your family of origin & at a young age. You are married in the Church. Then you realize economic & human behavior ( spouse alcoholism ) may limit idealized vision of your future compliance with Church unrealistic mandates. Leaving you a failure in the Church’s eyes. So sad over this Church that I have rejoined. Jeanne
None of this makes you a failure in the churches eyes. Do you know how many saints were wives to bad men? The church allows and even advises women or men to leave their abusive partners (which is different from divorce) for their safety.
Thanks fr Mike! Good timing after what Pope Francis said. I'm sure it's intentional 😊
What did Francis say, and how is this related?
The girl i love never wants to have kids because she’s scared if childbirth. One day, i would love to raise children but i also love her and i dont want her to hurt. However, I would also love to adopt and she would like that as well someday after we get married. Would that still count as the sacrament?
Is there a medical reason she is scared of childbirth? It is common for women to be afraid. There are a lot of pain management options during delivery as well.
@@Paola-jf2qf She mightve mentioned it, but Im not entirely sure as we are currently not planning on a child soon and i hadnt brought it up because I’m waiting until we decide to get married and I know talking about having children one day freaks her out. But also I’m just REALLY excited about the concept of adopting one day and she is too so thats another reason we haven’t really discussed bringing in a child of our own
all couples have to be open to children, yet all couples are definitely and objectively not fit to be parents. Many are, but not all. Also, if you do not want children, how good of a parent will you be if you begrudgingly have a child due to adherence to religion?
The church also teaches that we must die to ourselves everyday and to be sanctified everyday.
If you look up saints there are many who were brought in terrible situations. Like Saint Dymphna was almost forced into marriage with her own father, but she has become a great saint. Her father was called to grow to become a good father, which would have been hard but worth it, but he declined.
Childbearing should only occur in marriage ( a quaint concpet) but parenthood is not for everybody.
.l have know too many parents-men especially-who regret having children.
I the light of or the lack there of in Pope Francis’s statements about same sex unions, this is great counter teaching that is faithful to Church teaching.
@Mike Cranston
No to either. I pray earnestly for Pope Francis and President Trump. I hope they and I make it to heaven some day by the blood of Jesus that was shed for us. Personality wise, they both have positives and negatives (like I do). However, the platform of the Democrats is against life and freedom. The Republicans (who are far from perfect) is for life and freedom. God is the God of Life. That’s why I would vote for him. However, I will not. Lol. I’m not American. I do pray for your country and mine daily.
I really should check my post before sending I would vote for Trump, not Biden. I don’t think God is on the ballot-at least directly.
Thank you Father. Yes children are the point of marriage. God bless.
I appreciate the hope that being open to kids means. I think the church sees that. But if I make 7 kids in the first 10 years of my marriage. And the wife is getting older and older. Then why is the church against artificial contraception? Like if we made so many kids I mean cut me a break father I was clearly very open to kids and bringing more life to God's universe. But I want to put them through college, or help them buy their first car. I need to stop eventually to help these kids thrive not just making more to just survive. Why does the church take a stance like this on contraception?
I really needed this kind of clarity regarding marriage. Thank you Fr. Mike.
What do I do if I am single and do not want children? Not marry? Or wait until my 40's or 50's to marry? If so, I have no problem with that, so long as I dont have to have kids
Children are a blessing and a great responsibility.
I always smile at big catholic families.
@Mike Cranston I've never met anybody with over 6 kids. Birth control is sin
Don’t think that logic flows.
@Mike Cranston
Me too!
Tell that to the neglected youngest of 6...😔
Probably the reason why catholic weddings have been halved since 1985.
Father, I appreciate your teaching! I'm curious, what if a couple wants to forego having children of their own because they feel called to work with orphans-would that meet the criteria of the sacrament? Similarly, what if a couple wished to adopt rather than have biological children, even though they may be capable of bearing young? I suppose I'm curious if the intention to procreate is essential to the sacrament of marriage, or if there might be other ways a couple could honor the sacrament. Thanks in advance for responding!
I think he means don’t prohibit life all together by using contraception etc.
Well you can't use contraceptives, so you have to be prepared to conceive throughout your marriage until menopause or infertility arises earlier.
You're allowed to forego having children. This is the last video I will ever watch from him because he's full of false teachings.
Taylor Ambrose, what authority do you have?
I think this is a really good question, so many children need loving parents but unfortunately dont have them. If people have the heart and resources then it just makes sense to adopt and give them a loving Christian home.
Father Mike, would you please consider doing a video over Pope Francis's new comments on same sex civil unions..thank you!
Thank you for making the distinction being being "open to life" and having knowledge that conception will most likely occur. This is important for users of NFP who have discerned the need to postpone children (possibly indefinitely) that they are still open to life even as they avoid the sexual act when they identify times that conception has a possibility of occurring.
I'm sorry. It makes no logical sense. You are still avoiding conception so what difference does it make if you use birth control?
What about couples who suffered multiple losses, ectopic pregnancy and such? What if the woman no longer wants to experience this?
After loosing my baby at 28 weeks I was told that to be open to life is to be open to death…. Then to lose another baby just 3 months later felt unbearable. I am a fam med physician and an NFP instructor and see pregnancy loss and infant loss regularly. It takes immense courage and grace from God (good Catholic counseling is likely beneficial as well) to remain open to life after any loss especially recurrent pregnancy loss. There are no easy answers to this tremendous cross that so many couples carry- often silently. All I can say is that God does not leave us to suffer alone and every child we receive in His Name is as if we are receiving Him- whether we have the privilege of holding them alive and healthy or not. God bless you!
How about couples that get married for the 1st time, at old age?
As long as your always open to the gift of life, you're okay
This issue isn’t really mentioned during marriage prep. Really makes some people feel out of place.
By the end of the day its ultimately a couples choice to not have a family and thats ok. It has worked out for others but another it hasnt. Its all about freedom of choice
Thank you, Fr. Mike, for this tough, but fruitful video, to guide us to Christ's Light from all the darkness in the world, that ones may not stumble upon.
May God bless us and have mercy on us all.
Aw man, I been struggling with this. 🙏
God really put this video in my path at the right time.
I sure wish Fr Mike would talk to us about what the pope has been saying
What did he say
This argument is full of logical holes, and sounds like questionable theology to me. 1/ To say that sterile or past child bearing age couples are "open to children" is a pharisee's argument, a legalistic distinction without a difference. 2/ Nor does being open to children imply that every act of love-making need be so, hence the moral option of artificial birth control. 3/ In fact, adopting children, is every bit as "open and "sacramental" as conventional heterosexual childbearing. This is just one more instance of the legalistically rigid culture of Catholic moral theology that does not take into account modern scientific understandings (as for example the completely natural nature of homosexuality) or its indifference to the suffering it causes when devout Catholics are forced to choose between the frustration of a non-sexual marriage, disobeying the Church, or impoverishment of having too many children. It seems to me that there is a fair amount of cruelty in Catholic moral theology, quite inconsistent with its rhetoric of compassion and human dignity.
Fr Mike, I got a vasectomy in 2009 before I came into the Catholic church. I'm engaged to a wonderful Catholic woman now. In the eyes of the church, must I attempt to get the vasectomy reversed? It's not a cheap procedure and there's no guarantee that it'll even work. Plus, I'm 43 and she's 41 so we're getting up there in age. Thoughts?
It is easy to dictate to a couple to be open to children and that sacrifice that parenting would demand when you are a priest who will never father a child and take on that responsibility.
And the 400,000 children in foster care in the US cry out, “what about us?”
There’s nothing that says you can’t adopt as well.
@@rosyreverie if you have 7 biological children, can you RESPONSIBLY parent anyone else?
@@lauramckenna1996 yes, and it’s been done many times before
@@rosyreverie We’ll have to agree to disagree. That has not been the case in my experience.
And especially the ones of European descent who get overlooked because couples of their own kind want something more exotic and exciting to parade in front of people.
One thing I don't understand... God is supposed to be all powerful. If he really wished for a couple to concieve, why would he let a condom / IUD etc get in the way? Surely it doesn't matter what a couple uses, as God has tye ability to enact his will in any case?
Yup, that's what happens when condoms break and/or when the woman forgets to take her birth control pills and/or the IUD fails. But, even these events/occurrences don't change today's attitudes because people have become desensitized to the gift of life. When couples who do not understand that marriage and intercourse must be open to the gift of life, may instead choose to end the life of the child they have been given. And, this creates a vicious cycle of loss and pain.
I know women who have had abortions and men whose partner chose to have an abortion, and they did not go through the ordeal(s) unscathed. There is always pain, guilt/shame, and emotional, if not physical, scars. Abortion survivors also feel rejected by their parents.
Fr. Mike is explaining that marriage is a choice with consequences that will affect one's life. When a husband has intercourse with his wife, they are called to be open to the possibility of life. If they get pregnant, they made vows on their wedding day that they will care for any children God may give to them. However, if they don't get pregnant, they must also accept that even if they desperately want children.
@Ana Laura Fuentes Right, but that doesn’t answer the point. Why is it even an issue if God is all powerful and can make life happen anyway? If you’re taking an IUD but God can still get you pregnant whenever he likes, then why is it an issue?
This seemed to be late today. I was wondering if the news today had an effect on the content decision
What are you supposed to do with your life/marriage if you can't have kids?
For all those afraid to have kids too close in age. I had 3 In three years. When they were small it was rough. But the good out wayed the bad. I can honestly say they have always been the best of friends. I can't remember any fist fights or arguments then or ever. They are 25, 24, and 22. They plan vacations together and socialize together. The only thing I regret is I only have 3 kids would have loved to have had more.
Am I called to singleness then? I do believe children are a blessing from God, but I have mental issues that would probably make it hard to handle the responsibilities of having children, plus I'm afraid of passing my issues onto them. I thought I wanted to get married up until last week.
Maybe give it some time, fasting and prayer. No matter what you are called to it will take hardships.
@@Eli-rw2eu I figured that out soon after watching this, I decided not to make a decision based on fear alone
I was not raised Catholic and was in need of an annulment when I came into the church, which led me to research how sacramental marriage differed between civil marriage. To add to my confusion I had learned of civil annulment and confused that with the church's annulment. During that period of learning about the sacrament I finally understood that Marriage is an earthly image of Christ's relationship to the redeemed and the family is an image of the Trinity...in that God is a community of three persons, namely the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Through study I learned that the Holy Spirit is the creative love that flows back and forth between the Father and Son. After all of that it helped me to understand why marriage is permanent. Christ never leaves us, ever, so therefore husband and wife cannot be separated
Since I understood what married sex life should be, our sex life deteriorated, slowed down to nothing, became a fear thing, separated us, became isolated and depressed, slowly left the faith, now are miserable in many ways...
I've been married for 16 years my wife and I have two boys. We've decided not to have anymore children therefore we both agreed to be celibate. There is more too marriage than just having sex.
You can always do nfp though right?
@@matthewpurcell6943 Yeah, that’s what I was thinking.
ImAlive 4U I agree with you and wish my husband would see the way you guys see ... We have 2 children and after second one I got physical health problems followed by mental health long time problems ( including axiety disorder and depression that I still struggle with ....) Because of that I cannot imagine getting pregnant as I wouldn't be capable of taking care of baby ( not to mention that I'm taking medicine that you cannot take during pregnancy ) . We did use for some time NFP which normally speaking would be fine but because of my health problems I was not able to follow it closely and on daily basis. My husband finds " celibacy" often difficult but what can we do....
@@anitaklara7428 Yeah, it’s hard. I hope you fond a good way to stay motivated.
NFP is no different from Condoms. If you're that closed to children then Either use condoms or save yourself the hypocrisy and remain totally celibate.
Absolutely. A mature person asks first what can I do for them not what can they do for me whenever considering a new role which Includes the role of being a step grandparent in a blended marriage to a widow or a widower who must be open to having more grandchildren maybe coming along later after the wedding that in the event of their parents passing away first must then take on the role of main caregiver to a small child again too. A mature Catholic elder is not going to take on the role of step grandparent without having the wherewithal first of being able to live up to their full responsibility potential being required before saying I do. Waiting for the grace to receive that wherewithal first before accepting that possible full potential in the future responsibility is the only right thing to do.
What about Josephite marriage? I'm confused about this type of marriage cuz it seems like it would be better to be single or in religious life instead of entering a marriage to be virgins which wouldn't be open to life.
what is that
@@currently7886 A sexless marriage.
good reminder of what marriage really is... gift of self not about yourself... thanks
I'm going to be curious what Father Schmidt has to say about the Pope's position on civil unions for homosexuals.
I believe this is his response about the pope's position.
I’ve been having scrupulosity so bad that I’ve barely slept for 3 days. I keep crying to the point my throat and skin burns.
I value God. I want a strong relationship because I love him and his will. But I am in so much pain. I thought marriage was a discipleship commitment with someone you are willing to grow with for the rest of your life in Christ. I am still open to life but I’m not as strong about it as I used to be.
I’m miserably afraid if I will hurt God by not having kids AND for not being able to have companionship with someone I love. I’m still way too young. It’s not off the table completely. But I’m so torn of what to do. I don’t even have anyone yet.
I need to put more faith in God. But in all honesty? I feel unlovable as it is. This feels like the final blow of hope in humanity. I don’t know what purpose I could possibly have and what worth God sees in me. I have no hope for happiness in this life nor will I ever make God happy because of my imperfections. I don’t want to relive my traumas. God have mercy on my existence.
At all times, not when they are ready to have kids.
Fr. Mike, if you can, please make a video about pre-nups and whether they’re ever allowed in a Catholic marriage. Thank you! God bless