ep.32. "Why Am I So Attached To My Therapist?" | Ask Kati Anything!

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  • Опубліковано 17 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 95

  • @SweetKristen
    @SweetKristen 4 роки тому +29

    1:06:45 is the answer to "Why am I so attached to my therapist?"
    So so helpful. THANK YOU KATIE!

  • @LisArgollo
    @LisArgollo 4 роки тому +64

    Hey everybody, hope you all are doing well! If you read this I just wanna tell you you matter, and you deserve love and care. Keep being awelsome. Here are the timestamps!
    1. 3:25 Hey, Kati. How can I calm down in therapy...
    2. 9:34 Hi, Kati. Why do I feel like my therapist doesn't always believe me?...
    3. 14:53 How can I draw the line between coping...
    4. 23:53 Hi kati. Is it normal to feel triggered...
    5. 29:16 Hi Kati. How can I begin to work...
    6. 38:18 Hi, Kati. I was emotionally neglected...
    7: 51:05 This question almost made...
    8. 57:29 Is it possible to improve...
    9. 1:02:02 Hi Kati, every since I talked about...
    10: 1:06:47 Hey, Kati! How do you feel about...

  • @authorgirl93
    @authorgirl93 4 роки тому +8

    On the being freaked out by kindness. I have completed trauma therapy recently and I now have a really healthy self esteem. What I have noticed is that I now see my friends being nice and kind to me as a lot less weird and as the standard of what I should expect. I have since ended a friendship with someone who was not treating me as an equal and giving me support. For me the root was my opinions about myself that were caused by abuse from a close family member who would be kind and then turn on me. So it was rooted in trauma but was also my beliefs caused by the trauma. If anyone is going through trauma therapy and finding it tough work through the discomfort because the other side is really worth it!! 😊😊 it is the scariest/ hardest/ best thing I have ever done for my own happiness.

  • @wolfferoni
    @wolfferoni 4 роки тому +7

    The idea of laziness is interesting. I read an article the other day about how laziness doesn't exist. There's always a reason why someone doesn't do something. It could be low energy or not enough motivation or some other issue but it's easier to judge and dismiss someone as being lazy.

  • @NovemberMe5213
    @NovemberMe5213 4 роки тому +13

    Question No.6 is so on point with what I'm struggling with right now. I too try to put my therapist into that void and I cried hearing Kati say is just can't be done. As an INFP and Highly Sensitive Person who has experienced chonic interpersonal trauma this has no-doubt compounded things. I feel deeply and crave that close intimacy in relationships, but rarely if ever have I felt truly seen or touched. My early attachment was broken, leaving me forever in search for the truth and that missing piece in my heart and soul.

  • @EllieGrant1
    @EllieGrant1 4 роки тому +13

    I’ve started playing music in my bedroom while I’m on zoom to my therapist, just loud enough that I can hear it but she can’t. It helps ground me when I need it and gives me a sense of safety knowing that it makes it harder to be overheard. It’s always the same playlist and they are songs that I have an emotional attachment to.

  • @MickieMuellerStudio
    @MickieMuellerStudio 4 роки тому +3

    Yes! I’m in therapy for PTSD and I personally call it self care vs self soothing. I find myself sometimes doing too much self soothing and not doing actual self care like moving my body, eating better. Both are needed, but it’s been challenging to learn how to tell the difference and say to myself, “ok, time to do the things.” Getting there. thanks Kati and everyone who asked the questions!

  • @askkatianything
    @askkatianything  4 роки тому +38

    Due to the sensitive nature of this video, UA-cam has deemed it not advertiser-friendly.
    "Our advertiser-friendly content guidelines don't allow for monetization of sensitive or controversial topics even when educational. As such, this video would receive the yellow dollar sign. Specifically, rape (20:02-23:51) and suicide (51:31-51:35, 52:58-53:01); these timestamps may not be exhaustive -- any mention of rape or suicide is unsuitable for monetization."
    If you would like to support the creation of my mental health video, please look in the video description below! Thanks ☺️🤗🤗☺️

    • @Monica-wc8wr
      @Monica-wc8wr 3 роки тому

      But videos of scantly clad women twerking and stupid “funny” videos are? Let’s keep people stupid, youtube….

  • @toni2309
    @toni2309 4 роки тому +6

    You answer about where to draw the line between needing self-care and taking it as an excuse was really good. Thank you. I personally struggle a lot with not having enough spoons to talk to professionals and do all the stuff that is needed to get the help though. Wish there were less barriers.

  • @auliaashila9406
    @auliaashila9406 4 роки тому +8

    1. 3:26
    2. 9:37
    3. 14:54
    4. 23:54
    5. 29:18
    6. 38:19
    7. 51:12
    8. 57:30
    9. 1:02:05
    10 1:06:48

  • @gabrielbuns4630
    @gabrielbuns4630 4 роки тому +10

    For #4: I tend to feel uncomfortable and sometimes annoyed/irritated by people being soft. I tend to feel like they are messing with me and treating me like a kid. Eg. When kid gives you a painting and you say it is great, but then have to ask what it is because it's so bad.

  • @JordanJFan
    @JordanJFan 4 роки тому

    I discovered your channel in 2012/13 when I was in the midst of my long-term and brutal struggle with depression, anxiety, ptsd and self-harm behaviours. I started to journal and it’s so interesting to see the progression over the last 8 years. I’ve been asymptomatic for the last 4 years. I think your channel helped me save myself. I am now a psych major at uni.

  • @tgmickey513
    @tgmickey513 4 роки тому +1

    Happy belated B-day! You make such a difference for many of us, even before this year, so we're glad you're here!

  • @natiw8336
    @natiw8336 4 роки тому +9

    I had to laugh out loud when kati told the story about her as a 4 year old packing diapers to run away. So relatable, I love your content Kati

  • @puppys8998
    @puppys8998 4 роки тому +4

    This is perfect timing Kati. I’m graduating therapy and feelingg really lost

  • @loristegner3272
    @loristegner3272 4 роки тому +1

    Happy belated Birthday!!! I think we’re all gonna get to experience a Covid birthday. Following you makes me feel better. 🙌🏻🎂❤️

  • @sarahgreenfield845
    @sarahgreenfield845 10 місяців тому

    Wow! Thank you so much for that insight on attachment. That sheds so much insight on what I need to work on

  • @littlelittletomato
    @littlelittletomato 4 роки тому +2

    I find Kati talking a bit quick at the start but I thought that was me feeling anxious until she points out herself haha.
    Cuz the other day when I was feeling super anxious I find Kati talking super quick and hard to catch up in my brain. So I paused the video and come back later in the week and she sounded just perfectly normal. (A way non native English speaker examining emotions lol)

  • @milenaciaramella3524
    @milenaciaramella3524 4 роки тому +10

    Can’t wait to watch 🙋‍♀️ my favorite time of the week 💜💜💜

    • @nikkimckay860
      @nikkimckay860 4 роки тому +1

      Milena milena. Hello how are you doing this podcast is my favourite time of the week to I always look forward to Thursdays kati always talks about health issues in depth and explain s everything want to also say its,good to see a firmiler name here as I don't know meny people here be nice to get a reply back

  • @whoami9225
    @whoami9225 4 роки тому +4

    I’m really struggling with the one about being attached to your therapist. I was just told I couldn’t see her any longer because of that attachment. I wasn’t even told by her but by her supervisor. No talking through it. No final session. No closure. I was told I could write her a letter. I’ve never done anything that has been harmful so I’m not understanding why it was done in this manner. I told them that what they’ve decided was more damaging then anything. I’m very hurt and confused and no one seems to want to give me concrete answers of what went wrong. If I’ve done something then how can I trust that it won’t happen again if no one will be honest with me?? I’m devastated. She’s the first person I’ve ever told past trauma to. This only happened 3 weeks ago and I’m still fighting to be allowed a closure session. Ethically shouldn’t I be allowed this?

    • @aubreygraham981
      @aubreygraham981 4 роки тому +6

      Most good therapists do give you a session for closure... this is odd. My last counselor who had to refer me out, made damn sure I was completely supported and set up with a new counselor. If the attachment was getting in the way of you moving forward and progressing in therapy, I can see why she’d have to let you go. Not because it’s your fault, but because the dynamic would get messy and would be a disservice to YOU. But if none of that occurred it’s very rude of them to drop you. I’m not sure if it’s worth putting your energy into them any longer. It’s up to you of course. I think though it would be more beneficial to seek out a new therapist and dig into all of this with them. Because trust me, I’ve been through at least 7 counselors and it’s been worth it to find some good ones. It’s hard to stay motivated and it’s scary but pushing yourself will grow you. Do not give up. Advocate for yourself because you deserve someone who will respect you and help you through it all.

  • @snuffyscorner
    @snuffyscorner 4 роки тому

    Thank you this video helped me and answered questions I didn't know I had. I really appreciate your warm and informative tone. Your caring and large heartedness really shine in these podcasts. I hope you know how much you mean to so many people.

  • @brimeslow2081
    @brimeslow2081 4 роки тому +2

    (imnumber8) I have BPD, I didn't know the sudden improvementorwhatever can be a bpd thing, thank you! I'm enjoying my time till all the bad comes back, and the work will have to continue

  • @eloisemarie5219
    @eloisemarie5219 3 роки тому

    Your answers were so caring and really helpful to me on this podcast. Thank you for all your work Kati.

  • @clarab325
    @clarab325 4 роки тому

    Thank you to whoever asked the 3rd question! I’m struggling with the exact same thing and it’s comforting to know I’m not alone. Also thank you Kati for the advice 💕

  • @seesandsrun11
    @seesandsrun11 4 роки тому +1

    I light incense during my sessions at home, and have a stress ball, and also have water + either coffee or tea to help me ground during sessions cause I can be really anxious too. Also, my dog is always very supportive during my at home sessions :)

  • @xxyy4282
    @xxyy4282 4 роки тому +2

    The answer to number 8 made me laugh, because I relate to the question so much and two of the diagnoses my psychiatrist and therapist consider are indeed DID and bipolar disorder... It felt validating 😊

  • @toni2309
    @toni2309 4 роки тому +3

    I'd have a follow-up question to the sixth question: What if we're disabled and we can't actually always depend on ourselves because sometimes our body just doesn't do what we want it to do?

    • @toni2309
      @toni2309 4 роки тому

      @@chrupka.frytka This goes for literally every person I meet for me. I don't think I understand.

  • @melissasmith2801
    @melissasmith2801 4 роки тому +1

    This was so incredibly helpful and insightful! 5 and 6. Especially topic #6 was so helpful to me! I appreciate how much you explained this and what to do or not do. I'd love to hear more on that topic.

    • @actuary33
      @actuary33 4 роки тому

      What next? Ask kati how to tie your shoelaces??? What u need is stop promoting weakness..

  • @HealedandOpenHearts
    @HealedandOpenHearts 4 роки тому +3

    Hi Kati, What do you mean by needing “more care or professional help” on question number three (coping “too much”)? Could you please describe a few examples of what that might look like? If a client reveals to a therapist that they have, for instance, been immobilized (e.g., unable to move forward with life, couch potato, avoiding as much as possible) for years due to past trauma (PTSD), what might happen next? Thank you!

  • @pipersecretp3
    @pipersecretp3 4 роки тому +4

    Happy Birthday Kati! I saw on Instagram, but I didn't want to stalk.

  • @micaelalmeida1997
    @micaelalmeida1997 4 роки тому +1

    I feel attached to my psychiatrist even tho she is not really nice to me. I feel really confused, sometimes i get mad because she is mean but everytime she is a little bit nice i feel like she is really good and sweet...

  • @DontWantToBeRecognized
    @DontWantToBeRecognized 4 роки тому +3

    27:30 - "better the devil you know than the devil you don't"
    I don't mean that in a religious context at all it's just a saying I find myself falling on a lot!

  • @rosannaien9596
    @rosannaien9596 4 роки тому +1

    I love this podcast! So interesting to gain some insight into the human condition as a fellow human, but also as a psych major! keep up the good and invaluable work!

  • @LisArgollo
    @LisArgollo 4 роки тому +1

    Happy birthday, Katy! You are a lovely human!!!

  • @nikkimckay860
    @nikkimckay860 4 роки тому +1

    Good question s this Thursday all very important questions and as always listening to everything shared and explained in each question was good to know it always helps you understand different mental health problems 👍

  • @Happylilsis
    @Happylilsis 4 місяці тому

    I wonder if Kati has a different perspective about attachment to a therapist after 3 years and also using IFS? I don’t think of my therapist as my parent that didn’t give me emotional support, but when I need to think of someone who is safe to help me keep calm, I do think of my T soothing or holding my inner child.

  • @aidis138
    @aidis138 4 роки тому +1

    Ha. Yes, please. Some of us, you just have to do it. Maybe not always, though. Because rest of us totally leaning on your ability to learn.

  • @moonlair97
    @moonlair97 4 роки тому +2

    Hi Kati,
    How do you know whether a therapist is the right match for a client? How does one justify/decipher that?
    To add on to that, what if you both disagree on subjects relating to "masculine vs. feminine" ways of behaving outwardly vs inwardly?
    For example, I'm a female but I tend to express myself in an outward fashion whether it's verbal or even sometimes physical (throwing objects, hitting objects/things, etc.).
    Lastly, how are you able to *trust* a therapist? I have no idea what's going through their head, what ulterior motives they have under their belt. Are they in it simply for the monetary gain? It just seems all biased. A business.

  • @sherrylaatz4105
    @sherrylaatz4105 4 роки тому

    Happy Birthday. I hope you have a wonderful one, because you’re wonderful!!

  • @selfhelpchampion9664
    @selfhelpchampion9664 4 роки тому +2

    Thanks Kati, will download for my lunch time walk tomorrow. Good night from London❤️🙏selfhelpchampion

  • @hodsh1
    @hodsh1 4 роки тому

    wow i really needed to hear several of these answers not least no. 6 (and no. 9)

  • @yunhee93
    @yunhee93 4 роки тому +1

    I have no cerebral palsy and dyspraxia with featurees of asperger . I struggle have been trauma therapy but everytime I'm in sessions I get very angry and violent

  • @ellsworth9430
    @ellsworth9430 4 роки тому +3

    can you do one about refusing to grieve for someone you love that you lost because its been over a year since i lost my nanna and i am refusing to grieve which is really affecting my mental health and im lost without her i believe i deserve to die please i need your help pretty please can you try to answer this please

  • @lanagavin2309
    @lanagavin2309 3 роки тому

    Happy Birthday Kati!

  • @MS-mp9om
    @MS-mp9om 4 роки тому +2

    October babies unite!!!!!

    • @Anna133199
      @Anna133199 3 роки тому

      Wooo 🥳🥳 Almost that time of the year again!

  • @sydneys8830
    @sydneys8830 4 роки тому

    Thank you for this podcast- it’s helped me so much

  • @sallyrigg8538
    @sallyrigg8538 4 роки тому

    Oh wow! I think we have the same birthday ... which is cool :). Happy Birthday!

  • @DrummerGrrrl
    @DrummerGrrrl 4 роки тому

    Kati, I love your t-shirt. It's badass! I recognize great graphic design even though I was a lousy one! LOL.

  • @mjarkk
    @mjarkk 4 роки тому +5

    Sorry too depressed to start my pc so no timestamps from me today :(

    • @navewibowo5126
      @navewibowo5126 4 роки тому +3

      Its okay! Take care of yourself first

    • @1oojess
      @1oojess 4 роки тому +3

      It’s all good Mark! Thanks for just being here

  • @DontWantToBeRecognized
    @DontWantToBeRecognized 4 роки тому +1

    24:30 - 🎶 always suspicious always suspicious 🎶 😂 totally me

  • @charleslaleau7764
    @charleslaleau7764 4 роки тому

    Happy Birthday Kati
    enjoy your birth week

  • @ryana8246
    @ryana8246 4 роки тому +8

    I like these. I'm going to be honest though, as a male viewer I can't skip over that theme song fast enough though! 😅

    • @meghanwhite3949
      @meghanwhite3949 4 роки тому

      What do you mean?

    • @TBIhope
      @TBIhope 4 роки тому

      Hahaha I actually really like it! It’s kinda different!

  • @T.Beattie89
    @T.Beattie89 4 роки тому

    Yay! Happy belated birthday!!!

  • @zoewatters3078
    @zoewatters3078 4 роки тому

    Thanks for doing these Kati, this gets me through the rest of the week haha!

  • @pipersecretp3
    @pipersecretp3 4 роки тому

    @Kati Mortion - The noun for advocating = advocacy!

  • @shannonkrause983
    @shannonkrause983 Рік тому

    Badass Kati Morton LMFT (Licensed Mo Fu Therapist). Thanks for talking about attraction to a therapist 6:15 . I saw her face last session.😌She had been masked for a couple years w/covid. 😷I’ve been thinking about her at random times the last 2 weeks, mostly sexually. I don’t want to say something creepy and wreck this connection. I will ask her if any clients have had a crush on her before then admit have a crush. Then ask if she feels like ditching her husband.🙏No that is too personal.

  • @blakelysmith7636
    @blakelysmith7636 4 роки тому

    Happy (late) birthday!!!❤️

  • @courtneywestrop6173
    @courtneywestrop6173 4 роки тому

    Hey Kati I need some a advice... I know you probably won’t get this message but lately I’ve been wondering if I have an eating disorder or if I’m just being silly?? I’ve been restricting what I eat and it’s almost like I enjoy the feeling of an empty stomach... when I eat it makes me feel gross and ugly or like I’ve failed?? I have been diagnosed with anxiety and mild autism but haven’t seen a professional for years. Is this real or am I make it up??? I’m sorry if I’m wasting ur time 🥺

  • @fatimaaltamimi6448
    @fatimaaltamimi6448 4 роки тому

    my birthday was on sunday ❤️ happy belated birthday kati 💕

  • @DrummerGrrrl
    @DrummerGrrrl 4 роки тому

    Happy belated birthday!

  • @nickwatson4301
    @nickwatson4301 4 роки тому

    Happy Birthday!

  • @danieldini8685
    @danieldini8685 4 роки тому

    happy belated!!

  • @SusieQ78
    @SusieQ78 4 роки тому +1

    Question 9...so we can't just make it "out of site out of mind"?! Ugh...how about going around it? Nope?.. Ok, how about over it or under it? Nope again? CRAP, let me put on my boots and start going through it ;-)

  • @jasminedarden_
    @jasminedarden_ 4 роки тому

    Happy birthday kati🥳🥳

  • @nikkimckay860
    @nikkimckay860 4 роки тому

    Kati Morton. Hello you looking nice as always its 10:06pm I'm watching right now didn't know about your birthday until you mentioned it I say happy birthday to you and hope you had a lovely birthday your podcast s are always here for when I need them though my time with your channel you are always full of loads of careing helpful advice and a nice person birthday wishes to you from me 🙂

  • @GH6184
    @GH6184 4 роки тому

    Where can i ask you questions??

  • @SailorGreenTea
    @SailorGreenTea 4 роки тому

    38:14, I can watch at 1.75 so sound good to me.

  • @davidk.7264
    @davidk.7264 4 роки тому

    Wow, thanks

  • @navewibowo5126
    @navewibowo5126 4 роки тому +1

    Is it just me or the audio is a little bit weird here

  • @nikkimckay860
    @nikkimckay860 4 роки тому +1

    Hello people here in the comment s hows everyone doing. Any help please as I really needed my question to get seen and thought to the podcasts as I am sad everytime I write a question it never gets though my question was important to me please I'd really like a chance to to get a question to kati id be thankful to anyone who helps me with likes be really comforting to have any comment s back

    • @nikkimckay860
      @nikkimckay860 4 роки тому

      @Elizabeth A hello honestly thank you for replying to me means something just to get a reply because usually nobody dose reply to me on here good we share how it feels not to get our questions though to kati I honestly wonder why my question never gets meny likes also nobody leaves me any comment s under my question it dose make me sad🙁 also feel s like my question is to long or I write it out wrong seems people don't take any notice of my question I'm glad to meet you 🖐

    • @nikkimckay860
      @nikkimckay860 4 роки тому +1

      @Elizabeth A it feels good to finally meet someone on here who feels the same as I do and is happy to talk to me all I ever look for and hope for is to connect with people on here where are you from I'm from United kingdom may I ask what brought you to kati s channel I suffer from depression and anxiety want to thank you again for giveing me your time to say hello and have a little talk with you I don't know you but the fact you replyed to my comment tells me your a friendly person if i see your name here again next time I'll say hello

    • @nikkimckay860
      @nikkimckay860 4 роки тому

      @Elizabeth A until next time was nice meeting you 🙂🖐

    • @duck7237
      @duck7237 4 роки тому +1

      Hi Nikki,
      I hope that your question gets answerednext time. Would you mind if I offered you some suggestions if it might increase your chances of being seen and given a thumbs up?

    • @duck7237
      @duck7237 4 роки тому +1

      @Elizabeth A hi. Sure, I can offer you some advice on it. First off timing is super important. If you can be ready at the time Kati issues her request for questions, your chances of being seen and voted for will increase exponentially. It is almost impossible to be noticed & get enough votes if you are more than 30-60 minutes after she issues her request for questions. So set your alarm! She is now trying very hard to do it at exactly the same time each week to make it easier to get in on time.
      I know that mental health issues can be very complicated, traumatic and come with long histories, but your best bet is to remain as concise as possible. People tend to gloss over the really long, rambling questions. There is such a thing as too much information! Even for all of the kind, loving Kinions! Obviously it has to contain enough info for Kati's benefit, but other people need to be able to relate to it too and see themselves or a friend in your problem (typically anyway). So try to edit out information that really isn't pertinent to your problem. You need the readers to relate or be intrigued to get votes!!!
      An interesting, eye catching heading probably wouldn't hurt. It might pique people's interest.
      I'd say one of the biggest hurdles for the readers is not just it being too long and rambling but when it is devoid of correct grammar and punctuation. Without capital letters and full stops and commas it is very difficult to read. It all just becomes a blur of too much information. Most people just give up on these entries and move on.
      I hope that this helps. I really hope that in the next few weeks your question gets answered. I'll be sure to keep an eye out for your user name and give you a vote.
      Take care!

  • @DontWantToBeRecognized
    @DontWantToBeRecognized 4 роки тому

    🧘‍♀️🙏💜

  • @kelsieskiles2412
    @kelsieskiles2412 4 роки тому

    first