My past self really thought they were “faking for attention” *but wasn’t even out to anybody* like attention from WHO ??? Good job brain 🧠 flawless logic
as a *very* femme (afab) nonbinary person i get called a gender/transtrender pretty often. it fucks me up a lot and i often feel like i’m just not trans enough. it took me three years to come out as nonbinary for the exact same reasons shared in the video. i have tried to dress in a more masc presenting way so that other people will affirm my gender and my queerness but while the affirmation from other people in the community is uplifting not looking like myself makes me extremely sad and it feels just mad icky. i don’t know if i’ll ever feel like i’m trans enough but i try to remember that i am the one who knows my head and my heart.
2nd time demanding an Iris Podcast . imagine casually walking down the street listening to this soothing voice caress your earlobes . AMAZING . Plus your topics and explanations and opinions are so valid and relatable . i love it .
I kinda had whiplash from existing only in online queer spaces to also physical queer spaces. People seem much more understanding in conversation than online.
I remember one of my trans friends saying that dysphoria isn't what makes you trans but rather the euphoria. Its the feeling of being called the right pronouns and being accepted and presenting as you wish what truly made you trans before any pain and dysphoria.
Thank you, as much as I have felt more dysphoria recently, it only appeared recently and I've known for like 8 months? Maybe more, but the feeling of enjoying he/him more
even though this is the first time hearing about the term "gendertrender" (ive only ever heard of transtrenders) i have always had the fear of identifying as non-cis and it SUCKS. i have supportive friends but its just that "hey maybe youre overthinking it" and ive deleted soo much progress. its also the fact that i dont have much physical dysphoria that just makes it bsbdh confusing
oh wow, i've been questioning my gender like, consciously for a few months now, and i feel so validated in everything you're saying. i'm at this point where i can't tell if i actually have dysphoria or if i've pushing those feelings onto myself to feel more nonbinary in other people's eyes, and that really sucks. that thing you said about cis people not having gender crises for so long is what my friends have been telling me, and I think that's true. I definitely hold on to it. anyway it's reassuring to see that someone else is experiencing gender in a much similar way than I am, so I really appreciate your honesty in sharing all that.
i thought me not feeling like other girls made me a 'not like other girls' type of girl. and i used to get so mad when guys critisized those girls because thats just how i felt, like i wasnt a pick me. then i realized i was bi and nonbinary, and yeah, so i realized i wasnt even a girl lol.
Same here. Like it's funny some people think it's just a way to get male attention when in reality the more I expressed my gender the less male attention I actually got.
i’m so glad that I am questioning my gender in a time when this discourse is happening, and not a few years ago when “trans trenders” were an excepted phenomenon and the in-fighting within the trans community was even worse.
While transmeds claim they're worried about people detransitioning, if anything I feel like maybe calling people trenders could push them to feeling like they have to dress more masculine (in case they're afab) or like they have to take certain steps to transition that they are not sure about. idk
Oh, definetely, I was stuck in online transmed dominated groups all throughout middle school and felt I HAD to be hypermasculine. I'm not, im a very androgynous guy, but I felt like I had to force myself in order to pass and be valid. Infact, it got so bad, I started to feel dysphoric because of that, and felt like maybe I was actually cis since "being trans" gave me dysphoria, in truth, forcing myself to be the other end of the spectrum rather than who I actually am was making me dysphoric.
I don’t know if I’m cis or not. I don’t have dysphoria really (I’d like a flat chest and deeper voice but it isn’t ever painfully discomforting) some of last year and all of this year so far I’ve been confused. I can ignore the question and assume cis and I have done that a couple of times but it keeps coming up in my head. I don’t want to steal labels from people who have suffered extreme amounts of pain due to their gender
I assure you that even if your experience is different, you aren’t stealing anything by living as your truest self :) i encourage you to let yourself explore that question and find out what that means to you!
WHEN YOU SAID YOU NEVER FELT LIKE A GIRL💀 recently I’ve been thinking about my gender a little, BUT NOW IM REALLY THINKING OMG. That really hits home for me too tbh
if it doesn’t hurt anyone, why do people care so much? lgbtq+ people can take a while to figure things out and its ok! people who normalized bullying “gender trenders” have caused so much harm to the community when we should be spreading love and acceptance. Identify as whatever makes you comfortable. If you change your mind, that is completely ok! This video was great!! :)
made me think about all the bad discussions I had about queerbating, or about men acting femme despite being cis in order to gain cultural capital from it. I really don't care about Harry Styles and I would rather that the media didn't care that much that some celebrity wore a dress (shocking), but hearing so many people criticizing men for wearing dresses or skirts or nailpolish because they were supposedly takeing that away from queer people definitely inflicted a lot of self-doubt on me and made me question wether I secretly just wanted to be part of a trend. Policing gender is never helpfull!
Thank you for describing this experience. I was worried that I was the only one who was scared of not being nonbinary enough to be considered nonbinary.
16:04 This made me feel so validated! Thank you! I've always wanted to be a boy as long as I can remember but I still feel guilty like I'm faking it because I don't feel enough dysphoria. And some days I feel like maybe I'm non binary after all. It's hella confusing 😔
it is so crazy to finally hear other people talking about whats goes on in my brain... like omg this makes so much sense to me, it hits the spot very well
gonna add a note abt the whole gender dysphoria discourse bc i get that most ppl don’t do research lol: gender dysphoria is a psychological diagnosis in the DSM (American book of diagnoses), and gender specialists say that not all trans people have it; and with treatment via transitioning it does get better for many people. it as a diagnosis was created in an effort to de-medicalize trans-ness (replacing “gender identity disorder”) and is incredibly new - please remember that names of disorders are just words that we humans make for things, and might not always be correct (like the previous diagnosis of ADD which professionals now would just diagnose as ADHD), and psychological disorders are always experienced differently from person to person. anyway hope that enlightened people lol, remember to use critical thinking and research before getting too hypothetical when reading discourse (not an accusation! i just used to do that myself)
Totally agree with everything you said! Also, if someone is genuinely pretending to be trans for attention, there is probably some deeper shit going on, and maybe people should address the deeper reason behind this rather than just attacking them for it.
hey iris! just wanted to say that this video and comment section made me feel really... I think represented it's a good word. I discovered this whole "gendertrender" thing around the same time I started to question my gender identity. and plus the fact that everyone in my friend circle is cis, made fell alone I guess. with no one to really talk about it, watching videos and seeing other people's experiences was comforting to me. I'm still figuring it out, learning about different identities, but your video and the comments really tuned with what I'm going through... so why not leave a comment! so just wanted to say that at the same time I'm not pushing it aside, completely denying it, I'm not rushing it neither! I'm taking my time on it :) thank you for opening up about your experience!
omg iris thank you so much for this video!! my own addition to the convo hoping this may make some people feel better: i felt so much better when i realized that gender, to me, is just something fun. it doesn't matter what others think of you as much as it matters what you think of yourself and how you see yourself, that is to say if you feel a certain way it's okay. just because you're not trans like everyone or non-binary like everyone doesn't mean you aren't. you can define these your own way as long as it makes you happy.
what i found for myself is that alot of my dysphoria was kind of locked behind closed doors of just never experimenting w my gender identity / expression. i had to experience euphoria before really understanding i had dysphoria too. i thought they were simply just insecurities and pushed it way back until felt like just a head with clothes. and totally disassociating from my body is no way to live life lol.
Before I went on an educational journey to learn more about the trans community, I had the toxic mindset that all these non-binary people coming out (mostly afab) were just people who wanted to be different for attention. But after immersing myself more into the community I realize that, first of all that way of thinking was all wrong, and second I was jealous of their freedom to express their authentic self. I came to the realization that if gender is a spectrum, then who is to say that leaning cis is the majority. I actually found that, while I don't identify as fully non-binary, I identify as genderqueer. I still go by she/her (that's just what I'm use to) though I wouldn't be opposed to they/them. I don't fully identify as a girl/woman, I just identify with myself as a person, like the woman part is completely unnecessary to my identity. I never realized why I was feeling out of place until I found out about the existence of non-binary identities. Sometimes I think maybe I'm just overthinking my identity and that it's unnecessary to find these labels for myself. But I feel better knowing I can put a name to how I feel inside.
I feel exactly the same haha! Like with or without a label, I too identify with just myself as a person. Woman or man, I wish I could experience a life without a bias from birth and exist as an individual.
Dude, that is exactly how I feel! You’ve articulated that beautifully. Gender just straight up does not play into the way I think of myself and move through the world like 90% of the time
this video literally helped me so much, you have no idea dude. I've been having a gender crisis for like 8 months now and this clarified so much for me, ty homie :)
When you said the part where you quoted that video about feeling so uncomfortable around other friends who are girls since it feels like you never belonged and when you attributed that to being queer i had to stop the video cuz that felt very very for you page vibes , exactly how I thought about the situation
Oh, this "are you shure it will stay like this" is so enoiing when your identity is Fluid over jearars between feminen and somthing in the enby Spektrum. And it sucs to feel enby but being used to present feminen while having chest disforia... it is so hard to explain this tu cis people in my live asspachily when I want to change my name....
Your videos are teaching me to like myself a little more and be a little kinder to this part of me. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences - genuinely It’s so nice to hear that someone else has felt this way and has made it out on the other side :)
8:10 this is so relatable 😭idk if this video helped me in any way to find out who I am but at least it showed me that I am not the only person thinking about that? Idk how to say it, but definitely thank you for this video ^^
Hearing that I don’t need to feel dysphoria to be non-binary makes me so happy because I thought I might not be n/b. Thank you, this video helped me accept myself more
Thanks for mentioning that you don’t have to use the word trans for yourself to be nb. I personally am a demigirl, but I don’t feel comfortable using the word trans to identify myself because I’m biologically female, and I feel that my transition isn’t big enough to technically make me “trans”. Even though that might not be completely true, it’s what makes sense in my brain, it it helped to hear you say it :).
as someone trying to figure out their gender, thank you for making this video and talking about your experiences. im still trying to find my labels, but im also afraid of people not respecting them. aaaa
That last statement... and I oop- Thanks for this video, it really means a lot to me to hear someone I relate to talking about topics that I’ve been dealing with. I’ve always been hesitant to say I’m non-binary but I feel like I’m finally in a place where I can embrace it and let myself be. Wishing you the best 💜💜💜
I am an afab who isn't dysphoric and I have never questioned my gender but I also never felt like I fit in with what a woman was supposed to be. I didn't want to be what society expected of females. So I did what I was passionate about and accepted that I would never fit in and I had to choose between liking myself and having other people like me. It was really lonely and I wasn't entirely right either. There were people who liked me and were similar to me, I just didn't know that in my small town world. I'm old now and have learned that the world is more accepting than where I grew up and found good people but I still struggle with letting go of fitting into what a woman is "supposed" to be. Now as I see the non-binary community and non-gender conforming community standing up and demanding recognition and respect I am simultaneously proud and super fucking angry that people still have to fight against gender "norms". No part of your anatomy determines what profession you want to pursue, who you love, or what you want to wear. All I wanted to do was work outside, travel alone, be single, not care about clothes make-up and hair, and not wrap my whole life around a relationship with a man and have kids, and I felt like I basically had to live outside of normal society and still really struggle with the fact that I am not good at being a girl. I had no desire especially to look "sexy" in a stereotypical fem way, so I just accepted I wasn't sexy. I love how sexy is transforming. When does just refusing to accept arbitrary societal gender norms but still identify as what you were assigned at birth differ from identifying as non-conforming or non-binary?
oh my god, i just came out as nonbinary and so much of this hits close to home.y biggest struggle with being out has been feeling like i’m faking it and i’m not valid, but at the same time a lot of the things i’ve been thinking about that invalidates me just doesn’t make much sense. it’s really hard and i’m really glad to be in a circle that treats me as valid still
Thank you so much for this video! I never heard of the term "gender trenders" before but I've definitely been struggling with trying to work out whether I'm non-binary or not. That comment about not feeling like or relating to other girls is so relatable wow
this whole gender trender concept is what my parents think of me probably. They look at me a s my close friend who happens to be trans and see that i’m trying to “copy” him. it’s frustrating
Been questioning my gender lately and wondering if I'm really non-binary. I've always considered myself fairly feminine (I'm afab) so that's always stopped me from thinking about it for a lot of the reasons you've talked about in this video
The country I live in is so behind on gender that this problem doesn't even exist yet lol. Nobody seem to know nonbinary people even exist. When I heard about it on youtube, i thought woahhh omg that's me! But I haven't told anyone except my boyfriend because nobody would even understand. There aren't even the terms to talk about it in my language. Let alone neutral pronouns.
a comment from 2015 tumblr told me i didn't have gender dysphoria and that i just didn't like my body and i internalised that . so that as well as non-binary not being widely talked about meant i literally ignored my gender for so long i forgot about it for almost six years
I've related with so much of this for a long time and didn't even know there's a word for it! I'm a fourteen years old afab and about a year ago I discovered about non-binary genders. I think it REALLY helped me figure out what was different between me and my female counterparts, to know why did I feel so... disconnected from that group? it's still a bit difficult to describe this feeling but I do think you understand what I mean; I maybe just too young to think clearly about those things because of my lack of experience and my bad state of mental health.... as you did I think it will be better for me to think for some time until I can get somewhere and because be a teen is already difficult for itself, so worry about my gender right now may would turn things too much for me(also I don't think where I'm currently in is a safe place) I'm really happy that I discovered your channel today!! I hope the UA-cam algorithm keep blessing you and other people's live with your content! I think it's worth to think and talk about those things Greetings from Brazil (｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡
throughout all of highschool and even now into college, I've always had a problem with boobs, mine aren't big but I've always wanted them gone, seeing them bothers me sometimes... don't know if it's dysphoria but wanted to share
well it depends, does your problem with your boobs connect to your gender identity (wanting to be more masculine) or does it connect to other insecurities (being too showy, hard to manage etc.)? and be truthful to yourself abt this... because I denied it for years and years thinking it was just a insecurity stemming from how my clothes fit.
I just wanna say.. the lights in the background look like the genderfluid flag and it makes me happy :)) Also, thank you for the video, it helped me a lot. I am not out to my friends and family yet, except for my sister, and I am really scared for a lot of reasons. You adress some of them in the video and it just helps me to see that I am not the only one struggling with this.. ty♡
i’m at that point where i know i’m definitely not cis and very probably genderfluid but my parents and current situation don’t allow me to look more masc than fem even though i don’t usually want to look fem. um. i’m afab and for a while whenever i was on a femme day or week i felt like i was doing it for attention and then later realised i literally wasnt out to anyone
Thank you so much 😊 this video really helped to accept myself because I have the fear of being a gender trender and I’ve been really confused for a while. I’m so happy that I’m not alone.
I used to think I was supposed to be girl because i just had to, then i realized that I was never a girl to begin with, I started liking this guy when I was beginning to transition, and I pushed it back because he was very homophobic, I kept convincing myself that I was a girl when it reality I knew I was lying to myself, and even after the guy rejected me and I was a bit lost due to that whole time being wasted on someone who didn’t deserve it, then I decided to continue on with the transition ( I’m happy as ever ☺️) now that guy is telling me that I shouldn’t change myself because I was rejected by him, but I told him that I’ve been feeling this way but I stopped it from happening because I liked him, and he said why didn’t come out, I clapped back saying “ I don’t know maybe the casual homophobia? “ it’s annoying
I feel sort of non-binary, but I still identify with being born female. Maybe non-binary, but not trans. Or not completely binary. When I'm online I prefer being gender neutral or male. In real life I just dress more or less like the "average girl." I feel like dressing too stereotypically androgynous and going by they/them pronouns would just draw too much attention to my gender. I hate drawing attention to my gender. So dressing typical enough for my body feels the best. I don't like being soft and frilly either. That also draws too much attention to my gender. Special occasions are hard for me. I've been experimenting with androgyny more. I like some of it, but I guess I don't enjoy it all that much if I feel too "butch." I think I do best by just staying mostly closeted. It's hard for me to know if I'm non-binary or cis and hate being treated differently. I feel like I do come across as feminine. I don't mind having feminine traits, but I do get pretty uncomfortable when it's pointed out in a weird way.
Honestly can't understand why people would be doing it for attention. I just came out non-binary (also god even though this channel I use is dead, I should update it, no longer reps me, besides the point) and for me I felt like I didn't know where I fell into. I knew I wasn't female and never fit even though I was born female, but I knew I wasn't masculine. I'm in the middle and always felt in the middle of two genders. Now I know what I am and happy to feel like I don't have to confide myself to A or B. I went as cis for years, but never full out right mentioned it. I didn't do it for attention, but I felt like I needed to "label" myself at the time. If that makes any sense. I guess for me I've always been trying to find myself and have and now adjusting how I look and hoping others will understand.
ngl i watched this video bc i found your channel and thought it was cool but wanted to make sure you weren’t a transmed/gatekeeper fhdjdjsjsns Anyway now i’m very glad to have found your channel and also your voice is super soothing wowza Also also, thank you for making this such a validating and positive video. i was kinda scared to click on this and watch a whole discourse video but you just give good and validating advice and it’s so sweet, i know this will help a lot of other trans people who have been questioning or struggling to accept how they identify :’) so thanks
Honestly, this is my first time leaving a comment on the UA-cam comment section, but what you have told us about your experience.... I agree with what you have been through with my whole heart. I have nonbinary friends, but among them, I wondered if I am non-binary enough like them as well so I have been disclosing my identity, even with the most accepting open-minded people on the planet, for pretty much my whole life. When my friends refer me as a cis-person, something didn't click inside my heart, but I went on with it because I wanted to be absolutely sure of my gender identity before I disclose it to anyone, partly because I didn't want to be considered as "gender trender" as you mentioned in your video. I always thought it was weird that I was so doubtful on my own gender identity whereas when I found out that I was queer, I was like "Yup, always has been" and used the term as my own pretty much right away. Although deep down I knew that I was never a cis-person (I couldn't blend into their niche no matter what I try), I was so afraid to disclose the non-binary side of me because I wasn't sure I would think the same way a few years later. Like, what if it was just a puberty thing? (long story short, it wasn't a puberty thing. I still have a gender crisis now and then). It is so relieving to know that I wasn't the only person who has been questioning one's gender. Thank you so much for being vulnerable in your videos!
hey you. yes you. you’re beautiful. don’t listen to what they say. you don’t deserve that. i hope you will do fine in the very near future. don’t become like me. dont do it. i know you might have a very bad day today. but it’s fine. we all had bad days. youre gonna get through it. just hang on. just wait. its okay. you’re safe here. i love you. don’t do it. i will miss you. you’re beautiful.
how does someone know theyre not cis? because, i didnt question myself until i heard about what being nonbinary was, and it's been about four years since i started questioning, and for one of those years i was fine being referred to as cis with binary pronouns, and it's the fourth year and i'm back to questioning. I dont know what any of this means and i dont know who i really am, but in general i dont love being seen as a /girl/, but i dont mind she/her bc pronouns arent gendered for me. i dont' want to be perceived as any gender but i'm ok with any pronouns really, i dont want to think too much on the pronouns but i use they/them for my default. I still question myself every day, and think i'm just a cis person who wants to be not cis. what you said at 6:32 is how i feel now, and i dont know how to resolve this
Been scrolling thru these comments and yours hit REAL CLOSE to home, just wanted to commiserate! i just came out as nonbinary at work and I felt so fake because all I want is for people not to use gendered words to talk about me but I don't mind she/her pronouns at all. Dam its just so nice to find people having similar experiences.
@@hanbanan3779 its so nice to hear someone else relates, ifeel that so much. it's really hard T-T this video really helped me a lot though, i'm forever grateful to iris. have a lovely day :)
I have a similar experience. In my case I think that it stemps from my BDD (body dysmorphia/ being actually ugly) and self hatred (I hate everything about me) in general. I think trough not seing myself as a cis female but as non-binary I can feel more at ease, mentally at least. It is an act of self dissociation (in my case). I'm not sure if thats possible, but being ridiculed for not fitting the expectations of how a female should look and act like kinda made me question my gender identity. People also bullied me for my looks(body and face), so I decided to dress more baggy and boy-ish and cut my hair. I also was interested in cross-dressing even as a tween who didn't care about gender, and have imagined myself as a girl/boy just to experience a different perspective. I also don't mind people calling me she/ her because it doesn't matter to them (what I mean by that is, that they would see it as one of my weird phases and maybe ridicule me for it), even tho I would prefer being seen as just a human (genderless) but I guess in my country it's not possible. I don't see myself as a female but if they do I don't bother( it is what it is). I also rarely go outside and avoid people in general sooo.
@@crybabyfish1647 Your path to identifying as non-binary sounds like it was filled with a lot of hurt and I'm sorry you had to experience those negative feelings, but I'm glad you're here now! You deserve to feel comfortable with your own self and to have others support you in it. Be well. ❤
Hey! I’ve been openly non-binary to basically everybody that knows me for about a year now. I recently explored the thought of being trans, and looking back, it makes sense. I’ve never thought I could actually be trans, but I’m now fully confident that I am. I’m not so confident to come out, though. I know that I do want to, and I’m sure I’m trans, but I don’t know how to tell everybody, especially since I plan on changing my name again. Idk if you’ll see this, but I’d appreciate advice from anybody lol
I have a friend who says she’s a girl and told us to call her by she/her pronouns, but still refers to herself as a boy and sometimes says stuff along the lines of “I forgot I was trans” I’m 99% sure she’s not actually trans because how the heck can someone just forget their gender identity and misgender themselves so many times and never realize it? She also has a history of lying about stuff for attention, as someone who is trans, it actually makes me really angry to see her act like this about something that has brought me so much pain, sometimes I go days without showering because I can’t look at my own body without feeling extremely dysphoric, it just hurts to see her pretend to feel the same things as me even when she clearly doesn’t :/
maybe they're genderfluid,, not trying to defend what ur friend is doing but maybe they need time to rethink stuff ?? still ik its upsetting to hear ppl say "i forgot i was ___" tho'' try talking to her abt it?:( srry im not good w/ stuff like this
That really sucks. If being around her makes you uncomfortable, then you might want to distance yourself more, cause whether or not she is trans will only be more apparent to you with time, and you might not want to be around her for that long. If you do stick around, all you can do is support her but not give her more attention than you would otherwise. It might be difficult to have a genuine conversation about this because she will likely get defensive and not appreciate the criticism about her past of lying for attention. It might be easier to have that conversation on a lighter topic that she lies/lied about. And maybe you can talk to her genuinely about your dysphoria(clarifying that it’s not necessary to be trans) without questioning her transness.
here’s the thing with dysohoria. Many trans people don’t start to feel dysphoric until a certain point. well for me and my trans friends- I am at my peak dysphoria and it’s not in and out like it used to be- it’s constant. just always thinking about it and being self conscious and it never goes away. but before- i identified as an enby instead of a male because i thought i had to feel dysohoria on my bottom parts to be a guy...? i dunno it was a weird time because of false information. Don’t think too much into it- be yourself and know yourself.
I used to believe in "trenders".. which made me think that non-binary was just a "trender" thing. I think that's the reason it took me so long to realize I was non-binary. I thought that you had to be binary to be trans. Such a gross way of thinking but.. I've moved past it now and never attacked anyone that I thought was a "trender". But I did give KG views.
yeah, but what if you are like "woah but what if i am faking it for attention?" and then your like "no.... wait a minute" and then you have a mental brown
I got a question and I’m not sure if anyone will respond but I’ll ask anyway I’ve been thinking about my gender a lot recently and I actually just cut my hair short today. The thing is I don’t really feel much dysphoria, but I feel a ton of euphoria when I dress more androgynous and when I cut my hair today. Do I really have the right to come out and make changes if I dont feel enough dysphoria..?
u don’t need to experience dysphoria to be trans or nonbinary :) if that makes you happy and feels more aligned with your being then that’s all that matters!
the idea of gender trenders/ transtrenders existing is so stupid. transphobes are going to be transphobes no matter what and every trans experience is different. let people explore their gender and be happy within themselves even if their experience doesn't look like yours or is not one that you necessarily understand :) it's unnecessary and counter-productive
I'm still trying to figure out like it I see a femme non binary person with short hair and cute makeup whether I want to be with them or be them y'know? I just can't tell 🤣
My past self really thought they were “faking for attention” *but wasn’t even out to anybody* like attention from WHO ??? Good job brain 🧠 flawless logic
rt
I’m the past self oh-
why is this me-
Oh I’m that last self
Me all through the first like 6 months of 2021
as a *very* femme (afab) nonbinary person i get called a gender/transtrender pretty often. it fucks me up a lot and i often feel like i’m just not trans enough. it took me three years to come out as nonbinary for the exact same reasons shared in the video. i have tried to dress in a more masc presenting way so that other people will affirm my gender and my queerness but while the affirmation from other people in the community is uplifting not looking like myself makes me extremely sad and it feels just mad icky. i don’t know if i’ll ever feel like i’m trans enough but i try to remember that i am the one who knows my head and my heart.
thank you for sharing this!!
theres no one way to be nonbinary
I know what you mean. I'm afab and femme presenting too and I get this pretty often. ily and you're non binary enough, i promise.
Same tho
im a very femme trans man and a lot of people make me feel like its invalid D:
2nd time demanding an Iris Podcast . imagine casually walking down the street listening to this soothing voice caress your earlobes . AMAZING . Plus your topics and explanations and opinions are so valid and relatable . i love it .
i’m hoping these longer videos can kind of work as that!!! hehehe more to come
I kinda had whiplash from existing only in online queer spaces to also physical queer spaces. People seem much more understanding in conversation than online.
this is so true!
I remember one of my trans friends saying that dysphoria isn't what makes you trans but rather the euphoria. Its the feeling of being called the right pronouns and being accepted and presenting as you wish what truly made you trans before any pain and dysphoria.
Your friend is very wise
man that describes me so well. i never was able to think of the words for it but thats perfect. your friend is very smart
Thank you, as much as I have felt more dysphoria recently, it only appeared recently and I've known for like 8 months? Maybe more, but the feeling of enjoying he/him more
even though this is the first time hearing about the term "gendertrender" (ive only ever heard of transtrenders) i have always had the fear of identifying as non-cis and it SUCKS. i have supportive friends but its just that "hey maybe youre overthinking it" and ive deleted soo much progress. its also the fact that i dont have much physical dysphoria that just makes it bsbdh confusing
Same!
how are you feeling nowadays?
this video is really helpful to not make me feel so weird and alone about me own gender crisis so im happy you talked about it, thank you :')
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oh wow, i've been questioning my gender like, consciously for a few months now, and i feel so validated in everything you're saying. i'm at this point where i can't tell if i actually have dysphoria or if i've pushing those feelings onto myself to feel more nonbinary in other people's eyes, and that really sucks. that thing you said about cis people not having gender crises for so long is what my friends have been telling me, and I think that's true. I definitely hold on to it. anyway it's reassuring to see that someone else is experiencing gender in a much similar way than I am, so I really appreciate your honesty in sharing all that.
i thought me not feeling like other girls made me a 'not like other girls' type of girl. and i used to get so mad when guys critisized those girls because thats just how i felt, like i wasnt a pick me. then i realized i was bi and nonbinary, and yeah, so i realized i wasnt even a girl lol.
Are you just me???
Same here. Like it's funny some people think it's just a way to get male attention when in reality the more I expressed my gender the less male attention I actually got.
i’m so glad that I am questioning my gender in a time when this discourse is happening, and not a few years ago when “trans trenders” were an excepted phenomenon and the in-fighting within the trans community was even worse.
While transmeds claim they're worried about people detransitioning, if anything I feel like maybe calling people trenders could push them to feeling like they have to dress more masculine (in case they're afab) or like they have to take certain steps to transition that they are not sure about. idk
Oh, definetely, I was stuck in online transmed dominated groups all throughout middle school and felt I HAD to be hypermasculine. I'm not, im a very androgynous guy, but I felt like I had to force myself in order to pass and be valid. Infact, it got so bad, I started to feel dysphoric because of that, and felt like maybe I was actually cis since "being trans" gave me dysphoria, in truth, forcing myself to be the other end of the spectrum rather than who I actually am was making me dysphoric.
I don’t know if I’m cis or not. I don’t have dysphoria really (I’d like a flat chest and deeper voice but it isn’t ever painfully discomforting) some of last year and all of this year so far I’ve been confused. I can ignore the question and assume cis and I have done that a couple of times but it keeps coming up in my head. I don’t want to steal labels from people who have suffered extreme amounts of pain due to their gender
I assure you that even if your experience is different, you aren’t stealing anything by living as your truest self :) i encourage you to let yourself explore that question and find out what that means to you!
@@irisolympia It’s really reassuring to hear something like that from someone in the community, maybe one day I’ll have it worked out a bit better :)
WHEN YOU SAID YOU NEVER FELT LIKE A GIRL💀 recently I’ve been thinking about my gender a little, BUT NOW IM REALLY THINKING OMG. That really hits home for me too tbh
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if it doesn’t hurt anyone, why do people care so much? lgbtq+ people can take a while to figure things out and its ok! people who normalized bullying “gender trenders” have caused so much harm to the community when we should be spreading love and acceptance. Identify as whatever makes you comfortable. If you change your mind, that is completely ok! This video was great!! :)
made me think about all the bad discussions I had about queerbating, or about men acting femme despite being cis in order to gain cultural capital from it. I really don't care about Harry Styles and I would rather that the media didn't care that much that some celebrity wore a dress (shocking), but hearing so many people criticizing men for wearing dresses or skirts or nailpolish because they were supposedly takeing that away from queer people definitely inflicted a lot of self-doubt on me and made me question wether I secretly just wanted to be part of a trend. Policing gender is never helpfull!
Thank you for describing this experience. I was worried that I was the only one who was scared of not being nonbinary enough to be considered nonbinary.
16:04
This made me feel so validated! Thank you! I've always wanted to be a boy as long as I can remember but I still feel guilty like I'm faking it because I don't feel enough dysphoria. And some days I feel like maybe I'm non binary after all. It's hella confusing 😔
it is so crazy to finally hear other people talking about whats goes on in my brain... like omg this makes so much sense to me, it hits the spot very well
yo same, nobody i knew ever used the word transtrender, but just knowing that the concept existed pushed me backwards into the closet a lot
gonna add a note abt the whole gender dysphoria discourse bc i get that most ppl don’t do research lol: gender dysphoria is a psychological diagnosis in the DSM (American book of diagnoses), and gender specialists say that not all trans people have it; and with treatment via transitioning it does get better for many people. it as a diagnosis was created in an effort to de-medicalize trans-ness (replacing “gender identity disorder”) and is incredibly new - please remember that names of disorders are just words that we humans make for things, and might not always be correct (like the previous diagnosis of ADD which professionals now would just diagnose as ADHD), and psychological disorders are always experienced differently from person to person. anyway hope that enlightened people lol, remember to use critical thinking and research before getting too hypothetical when reading discourse (not an accusation! i just used to do that myself)
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Totally agree with everything you said! Also, if someone is genuinely pretending to be trans for attention, there is probably some deeper shit going on, and maybe people should address the deeper reason behind this rather than just attacking them for it.
hey iris! just wanted to say that this video and comment section made me feel really... I think represented it's a good word. I discovered this whole "gendertrender" thing around the same time I started to question my gender identity. and plus the fact that everyone in my friend circle is cis, made fell alone I guess. with no one to really talk about it, watching videos and seeing other people's experiences was comforting to me. I'm still figuring it out, learning about different identities, but your video and the comments really tuned with what I'm going through... so why not leave a comment! so just wanted to say that at the same time I'm not pushing it aside, completely denying it, I'm not rushing it neither! I'm taking my time on it :)
thank you for opening up about your experience!
omg iris thank you so much for this video!! my own addition to the convo hoping this may make some people feel better: i felt so much better when i realized that gender, to me, is just something fun. it doesn't matter what others think of you as much as it matters what you think of yourself and how you see yourself, that is to say if you feel a certain way it's okay. just because you're not trans like everyone or non-binary like everyone doesn't mean you aren't. you can define these your own way as long as it makes you happy.
yes! there are so many different ways to be trans & nonbinary
what i found for myself is that alot of my dysphoria was kind of locked behind closed doors of just never experimenting w my gender identity / expression. i had to experience euphoria before really understanding i had dysphoria too. i thought they were simply just insecurities and pushed it way back until felt like just a head with clothes. and totally disassociating from my body is no way to live life lol.
this is very real
Before I went on an educational journey to learn more about the trans community, I had the toxic mindset that all these non-binary people coming out (mostly afab) were just people who wanted to be different for attention. But after immersing myself more into the community I realize that, first of all that way of thinking was all wrong, and second I was jealous of their freedom to express their authentic self. I came to the realization that if gender is a spectrum, then who is to say that leaning cis is the majority. I actually found that, while I don't identify as fully non-binary, I identify as genderqueer. I still go by she/her (that's just what I'm use to) though I wouldn't be opposed to they/them. I don't fully identify as a girl/woman, I just identify with myself as a person, like the woman part is completely unnecessary to my identity. I never realized why I was feeling out of place until I found out about the existence of non-binary identities. Sometimes I think maybe I'm just overthinking my identity and that it's unnecessary to find these labels for myself. But I feel better knowing I can put a name to how I feel inside.
I feel exactly the same haha! Like with or without a label, I too identify with just myself as a person. Woman or man, I wish I could experience a life without a bias from birth and exist as an individual.
Dude, that is exactly how I feel! You’ve articulated that beautifully. Gender just straight up does not play into the way I think of myself and move through the world like 90% of the time
yoo you just explained me lol
this video literally helped me so much, you have no idea dude. I've been having a gender crisis for like 8 months now and this clarified so much for me, ty homie :)
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For a second I thought the title was gender tenders, and I was just sooo CONFUSED
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totally relate ily 😭
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When you said the part where you quoted that video about feeling so uncomfortable around other friends who are girls since it feels like you never belonged and when you attributed that to being queer i had to stop the video cuz that felt very very for you page vibes , exactly how I thought about the situation
Oh, this "are you shure it will stay like this" is so enoiing when your identity is Fluid over jearars between feminen and somthing in the enby Spektrum. And it sucs to feel enby but being used to present feminen while having chest disforia... it is so hard to explain this tu cis people in my live asspachily when I want to change my name....
Your videos are teaching me to like myself a little more and be a little kinder to this part of me. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences - genuinely
It’s so nice to hear that someone else has felt this way and has made it out on the other side :)
8:10 this is so relatable 😭idk if this video helped me in any way to find out who I am but at least it showed me that I am not the only person thinking about that? Idk how to say it, but definitely thank you for this video ^^
Hearing that I don’t need to feel dysphoria to be non-binary makes me so happy because I thought I might not be n/b. Thank you, this video helped me accept myself more
do you mean dysphoria?
@@avalonbluee oh shit yeah-
Thanks for mentioning that you don’t have to use the word trans for yourself to be nb. I personally am a demigirl, but I don’t feel comfortable using the word trans to identify myself because I’m biologically female, and I feel that my transition isn’t big enough to technically make me “trans”. Even though that might not be completely true, it’s what makes sense in my brain, it it helped to hear you say it :).
as someone trying to figure out their gender, thank you for making this video and talking about your experiences. im still trying to find my labels, but im also afraid of people not respecting them. aaaa
That last statement... and I oop-
Thanks for this video, it really means a lot to me to hear someone I relate to talking about topics that I’ve been dealing with. I’ve always been hesitant to say I’m non-binary but I feel like I’m finally in a place where I can embrace it and let myself be. Wishing you the best 💜💜💜
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I am an afab who isn't dysphoric and I have never questioned my gender but I also never felt like I fit in with what a woman was supposed to be. I didn't want to be what society expected of females. So I did what I was passionate about and accepted that I would never fit in and I had to choose between liking myself and having other people like me. It was really lonely and I wasn't entirely right either. There were people who liked me and were similar to me, I just didn't know that in my small town world. I'm old now and have learned that the world is more accepting than where I grew up and found good people but I still struggle with letting go of fitting into what a woman is "supposed" to be. Now as I see the non-binary community and non-gender conforming community standing up and demanding recognition and respect I am simultaneously proud and super fucking angry that people still have to fight against gender "norms". No part of your anatomy determines what profession you want to pursue, who you love, or what you want to wear. All I wanted to do was work outside, travel alone, be single, not care about clothes make-up and hair, and not wrap my whole life around a relationship with a man and have kids, and I felt like I basically had to live outside of normal society and still really struggle with the fact that I am not good at being a girl. I had no desire especially to look "sexy" in a stereotypical fem way, so I just accepted I wasn't sexy. I love how sexy is transforming. When does just refusing to accept arbitrary societal gender norms but still identify as what you were assigned at birth differ from identifying as non-conforming or non-binary?
oh my god, i just came out as nonbinary and so much of this hits close to home.y biggest struggle with being out has been feeling like i’m faking it and i’m not valid, but at the same time a lot of the things i’ve been thinking about that invalidates me just doesn’t make much sense. it’s really hard and i’m really glad to be in a circle that treats me as valid still
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Wtaf why is this so accurate um
This channel deserves more love
Thank you so much for this video! I never heard of the term "gender trenders" before but I've definitely been struggling with trying to work out whether I'm non-binary or not. That comment about not feeling like or relating to other girls is so relatable wow
Me not wanting attention and afraid to tell people to call me they/them but at the same time worrying I'm doing this for attention/validation
this whole gender trender concept is what my parents think of me probably. They look at me a s my close friend who happens to be trans and see that i’m trying to “copy” him. it’s frustrating
Been questioning my gender lately and wondering if I'm really non-binary. I've always considered myself fairly feminine (I'm afab) so that's always stopped me from thinking about it for a lot of the reasons you've talked about in this video
The country I live in is so behind on gender that this problem doesn't even exist yet lol. Nobody seem to know nonbinary people even exist. When I heard about it on youtube, i thought woahhh omg that's me! But I haven't told anyone except my boyfriend because nobody would even understand. There aren't even the terms to talk about it in my language. Let alone neutral pronouns.
a comment from 2015 tumblr told me i didn't have gender dysphoria and that i just didn't like my body and i internalised that . so that as well as non-binary not being widely talked about meant i literally ignored my gender for so long i forgot about it for almost six years
its funny I've never even heard this word and I still had the experience of feeling "not-cis enough" to be not-cis...
I've related with so much of this for a long time and didn't even know there's a word for it! I'm a fourteen years old afab and about a year ago I discovered about non-binary genders. I think it REALLY helped me figure out what was different between me and my female counterparts, to know why did I feel so... disconnected from that group? it's still a bit difficult to describe this feeling but I do think you understand what I mean; I maybe just too young to think clearly about those things because of my lack of experience and my bad state of mental health.... as you did I think it will be better for me to think for some time until I can get somewhere and because be a teen is already difficult for itself, so worry about my gender right now may would turn things too much for me(also I don't think where I'm currently in is a safe place)
I'm really happy that I discovered your channel today!! I hope the UA-cam algorithm keep blessing you and other people's live with your content! I think it's worth to think and talk about those things
Greetings from Brazil (｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡
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throughout all of highschool and even now into college, I've always had a problem with boobs, mine aren't big but I've always wanted them gone, seeing them bothers me sometimes... don't know if it's dysphoria but wanted to share
well it depends, does your problem with your boobs connect to your gender identity (wanting to be more masculine) or does it connect to other insecurities (being too showy, hard to manage etc.)? and be truthful to yourself abt this... because I denied it for years and years thinking it was just a insecurity stemming from how my clothes fit.
I just wanna say.. the lights in the background look like the genderfluid flag and it makes me happy :))
Also, thank you for the video, it helped me a lot. I am not out to my friends and family yet, except for my sister, and I am really scared for a lot of reasons. You adress some of them in the video and it just helps me to see that I am not the only one struggling with this.. ty♡
Gender is a social construct. The reality is that every individual should get to decide their gender orientation or to remain undecided
i’m at that point where i know i’m definitely not cis and very probably genderfluid but my parents and current situation don’t allow me to look more masc than fem even though i don’t usually want to look fem. um. i’m afab and for a while whenever i was on a femme day or week i felt like i was doing it for attention and then later realised i literally wasnt out to anyone
I love you, ISTG! Thank you,thank you so much!You helped me so much with my gender,istggg I've never felt more seen than now!I'm a boygirl both
Very helpful to hear as someone who is going through their own gender journey. I am hearing a lot of similar things to my experience.
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I relate so much to hesitating about my gender out of fear of it being « fake »
holy shit this video helped me so much thank you so much for making it /gen
Thank you so much 😊 this video really helped to accept myself because I have the fear of being a gender trender and I’ve been really confused for a while. I’m so happy that I’m not alone.
I used to think I was supposed to be girl because i just had to, then i realized that I was never a girl to begin with, I started liking this guy when I was beginning to transition, and I pushed it back because he was very homophobic, I kept convincing myself that I was a girl when it reality I knew I was lying to myself, and even after the guy rejected me and I was a bit lost due to that whole time being wasted on someone who didn’t deserve it, then I decided to continue on with the transition ( I’m happy as ever ☺️) now that guy is telling me that I shouldn’t change myself because I was rejected by him, but I told him that I’ve been feeling this way but I stopped it from happening because I liked him, and he said why didn’t come out, I clapped back saying “ I don’t know maybe the casual homophobia? “ it’s annoying
I feel sort of non-binary, but I still identify with being born female. Maybe non-binary, but not trans. Or not completely binary. When I'm online I prefer being gender neutral or male. In real life I just dress more or less like the "average girl." I feel like dressing too stereotypically androgynous and going by they/them pronouns would just draw too much attention to my gender. I hate drawing attention to my gender. So dressing typical enough for my body feels the best. I don't like being soft and frilly either. That also draws too much attention to my gender. Special occasions are hard for me. I've been experimenting with androgyny more. I like some of it, but I guess I don't enjoy it all that much if I feel too "butch." I think I do best by just staying mostly closeted. It's hard for me to know if I'm non-binary or cis and hate being treated differently. I feel like I do come across as feminine. I don't mind having feminine traits, but I do get pretty uncomfortable when it's pointed out in a weird way.
This is very relatable ❤
Honestly can't understand why people would be doing it for attention. I just came out non-binary (also god even though this channel I use is dead, I should update it, no longer reps me, besides the point) and for me I felt like I didn't know where I fell into. I knew I wasn't female and never fit even though I was born female, but I knew I wasn't masculine. I'm in the middle and always felt in the middle of two genders. Now I know what I am and happy to feel like I don't have to confide myself to A or B. I went as cis for years, but never full out right mentioned it. I didn't do it for attention, but I felt like I needed to "label" myself at the time. If that makes any sense. I guess for me I've always been trying to find myself and have and now adjusting how I look and hoping others will understand.
I'm questioning rn and this video helps me a lot, thank you so much!
i feel so much less like a horrible person thanks to this video. i relate so much
i’ve been out as non binary for 6 years and i STILL needed to hear someone say “i don’t think cis ppl are having frequent gender crises”
yo literally the reason i didn’t think i was trans sooner was because of this
Thank you for making this ^^
ngl i watched this video bc i found your channel and thought it was cool but wanted to make sure you weren’t a transmed/gatekeeper fhdjdjsjsns Anyway now i’m very glad to have found your channel and also your voice is super soothing wowza
Also also, thank you for making this such a validating and positive video. i was kinda scared to click on this and watch a whole discourse video but you just give good and validating advice and it’s so sweet, i know this will help a lot of other trans people who have been questioning or struggling to accept how they identify :’) so thanks
Well damn thanks now that quote is gonna make me cry
I loved this omg
Honestly, this is my first time leaving a comment on the UA-cam comment section, but what you have told us about your experience.... I agree with what you have been through with my whole heart. I have nonbinary friends, but among them, I wondered if I am non-binary enough like them as well so I have been disclosing my identity, even with the most accepting open-minded people on the planet, for pretty much my whole life. When my friends refer me as a cis-person, something didn't click inside my heart, but I went on with it because I wanted to be absolutely sure of my gender identity before I disclose it to anyone, partly because I didn't want to be considered as "gender trender" as you mentioned in your video. I always thought it was weird that I was so doubtful on my own gender identity whereas when I found out that I was queer, I was like "Yup, always has been" and used the term as my own pretty much right away. Although deep down I knew that I was never a cis-person (I couldn't blend into their niche no matter what I try), I was so afraid to disclose the non-binary side of me because I wasn't sure I would think the same way a few years later. Like, what if it was just a puberty thing? (long story short, it wasn't a puberty thing. I still have a gender crisis now and then). It is so relieving to know that I wasn't the only person who has been questioning one's gender. Thank you so much for being vulnerable in your videos!
thank you for sharing this!!! 💛💛
hey you.
yes you.
you’re beautiful.
don’t listen to what they say.
you don’t deserve that.
i hope you will do fine in the very near future.
don’t become like me.
dont do it.
i know you might have a very bad day today.
but it’s fine.
we all had bad days.
youre gonna get through it.
just hang on.
just wait.
its okay.
you’re safe here.
i love you.
don’t do it.
i will miss you.
you’re beautiful.
hey i appreciate you and your videos! also that is a cool outfit !!
thank you!
This video really helped me so much thank u♡
When the ramune gets u emotional 😪
how does someone know theyre not cis? because, i didnt question myself until i heard about what being nonbinary was, and it's been about four years since i started questioning, and for one of those years i was fine being referred to as cis with binary pronouns, and it's the fourth year and i'm back to questioning. I dont know what any of this means and i dont know who i really am, but in general i dont love being seen as a /girl/, but i dont mind she/her bc pronouns arent gendered for me. i dont' want to be perceived as any gender but i'm ok with any pronouns really, i dont want to think too much on the pronouns but i use they/them for my default. I still question myself every day, and think i'm just a cis person who wants to be not cis. what you said at 6:32 is how i feel now, and i dont know how to resolve this
Been scrolling thru these comments and yours hit REAL CLOSE to home, just wanted to commiserate! i just came out as nonbinary at work and I felt so fake because all I want is for people not to use gendered words to talk about me but I don't mind she/her pronouns at all. Dam its just so nice to find people having similar experiences.
@@hanbanan3779 its so nice to hear someone else relates, ifeel that so much. it's really hard T-T this video really helped me a lot though, i'm forever grateful to iris. have a lovely day :)
I have a similar experience. In my case I think that it stemps from my BDD (body dysmorphia/ being actually ugly) and self hatred (I hate everything about me) in general. I think trough not seing myself as a cis female but as non-binary I can feel more at ease, mentally at least. It is an act of self dissociation (in my case). I'm not sure if thats possible, but being ridiculed for not fitting the expectations of how a female should look and act like kinda made me question my gender identity. People also bullied me for my looks(body and face), so I decided to dress more baggy and boy-ish and cut my hair. I also was interested in cross-dressing even as a tween who didn't care about gender, and have imagined myself as a girl/boy just to experience a different perspective. I also don't mind people calling me she/ her because it doesn't matter to them (what I mean by that is, that they would see it as one of my weird phases and maybe ridicule me for it), even tho I would prefer being seen as just a human (genderless) but I guess in my country it's not possible. I don't see myself as a female but if they do I don't bother( it is what it is). I also rarely go outside and avoid people in general sooo.
@@crybabyfish1647 Your path to identifying as non-binary sounds like it was filled with a lot of hurt and I'm sorry you had to experience those negative feelings, but I'm glad you're here now! You deserve to feel comfortable with your own self and to have others support you in it. Be well. ❤
@@hanbanan3779 thank you! Have a nice day and good luck with your journey!
Thank you so much for this video
thank you for this. ive been really confused recently and this really helped me. lolz im pretty sure im non binary
Hey! I’ve been openly non-binary to basically everybody that knows me for about a year now. I recently explored the thought of being trans, and looking back, it makes sense. I’ve never thought I could actually be trans, but I’m now fully confident that I am. I’m not so confident to come out, though. I know that I do want to, and I’m sure I’m trans, but I don’t know how to tell everybody, especially since I plan on changing my name again.
Idk if you’ll see this, but I’d appreciate advice from anybody lol
I have a friend who says she’s a girl and told us to call her by she/her pronouns, but still refers to herself as a boy and sometimes says stuff along the lines of “I forgot I was trans”
I’m 99% sure she’s not actually trans because how the heck can someone just forget their gender identity and misgender themselves so many times and never realize it? She also has a history of lying about stuff for attention, as someone who is trans, it actually makes me really angry to see her act like this about something that has brought me so much pain, sometimes I go days without showering because I can’t look at my own body without feeling extremely dysphoric, it just hurts to see her pretend to feel the same things as me even when she clearly doesn’t :/
maybe they're genderfluid,, not trying to defend what ur friend is doing but maybe they need time to rethink stuff ?? still ik its upsetting to hear ppl say "i forgot i was ___" tho'' try talking to her abt it?:( srry im not good w/ stuff like this
That really sucks. If being around her makes you uncomfortable, then you might want to distance yourself more, cause whether or not she is trans will only be more apparent to you with time, and you might not want to be around her for that long. If you do stick around, all you can do is support her but not give her more attention than you would otherwise.
It might be difficult to have a genuine conversation about this because she will likely get defensive and not appreciate the criticism about her past of lying for attention. It might be easier to have that conversation on a lighter topic that she lies/lied about. And maybe you can talk to her genuinely about your dysphoria(clarifying that it’s not necessary to be trans) without questioning her transness.
Some trans ppl try to protect themselves from the right by dunking on the rest of us. Also I did the same thing where I thought I was faking being NB.
this video helped me so much. thank you
here’s the thing with dysohoria. Many trans people don’t start to feel dysphoric until a certain point. well for me and my trans friends- I am at my peak dysphoria and it’s not in and out like it used to be- it’s constant. just always thinking about it and being self conscious and it never goes away. but before- i identified as an enby instead of a male because i thought i had to feel dysohoria on my bottom parts to be a guy...? i dunno it was a weird time because of false information. Don’t think too much into it- be yourself and know yourself.
I used to believe in "trenders".. which made me think that non-binary was just a "trender" thing. I think that's the reason it took me so long to realize I was non-binary. I thought that you had to be binary to be trans. Such a gross way of thinking but.. I've moved past it now and never attacked anyone that I thought was a "trender". But I did give KG views.
Im nonbinary and im scared to come out to my freinds because i feel like they would say im faking or trying to copy them
yeah, but what if you are like "woah but what if i am faking it for attention?" and then your like "no.... wait a minute" and then you have a mental brown
I have been considering changing my name as an Agender person to Iris, but I don't know if this sounds too feminine.
There’s certainly a long list to pick from
thank you
Why "gender trender" and not "trans trender"? I don't like either term but I've never heard "gender trender" before.
I got a question and I’m not sure if anyone will respond but I’ll ask anyway
I’ve been thinking about my gender a lot recently and I actually just cut my hair short today.
The thing is I don’t really feel much dysphoria, but I feel a ton of euphoria when I dress more androgynous and when I cut my hair today.
Do I really have the right to come out and make changes if I dont feel enough dysphoria..?
u don’t need to experience dysphoria to be trans or nonbinary :) if that makes you happy and feels more aligned with your being then that’s all that matters!
Holy flipping fuck I’m genderqueer i think
the idea of gender trenders/ transtrenders existing is so stupid. transphobes are going to be transphobes no matter what and every trans experience is different. let people explore their gender and be happy within themselves even if their experience doesn't look like yours or is not one that you necessarily understand :) it's unnecessary and counter-productive
I'm still trying to figure out like it I see a femme non binary person with short hair and cute makeup whether I want to be with them or be them y'know? I just can't tell 🤣
Is it okay to watch these stuff as a cis person?
well sure why not?? its good if youre willing to learn more about the lgbtqiapk+ community
i wanna be a boy but i dont wish i was BORN a guy but i wish i wasnt born a girl eighter
i wish i wasnt born
just a check up r ur pronouns still she/they? Happy holidays btw :)
If you wanna act like a man - then I will treat you like one.
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@@unknown_chillhuman lmao same like what?