Cordy: "Time out, Xander. Put yourself in Buffy's shoes for just a minute. Okay? I'm Buffy, freak of nature, right? Naturally I pick a freak for a boyfriend, and then he turns into Mr. Killing Spree, which is pretty much my fault... " Buffy: "Cordy... get out of my shoes." I DIE EVERY SINGLE TIME
Jaded Wonderland To be 100 percent fair, that was a conversation that needed to happen. From someone whose problems are pretty close to Buffy’s it’s about understanding that people want to at least try to get why you did what you did. You need a Xander/Joyce/Willow to explain the consequences of what you did but you also need someone like Cordy to be like “okay but under different circumstances...” and make sure it doesn’t become the blame game. But there’s also a time and a place and surrounded by strangers and dangers was neither 😂
I was entirely on Buffy's side. The Scoobies pissed me off with how they didn't even try to understand her. Even when Buffy tried to reconnect with them, they tried to avoid an actual conversation by forcing a party on her, inviting a bunch of strangers.
very true. the way they approached the situation is horrible. but i feel willow and xander also were having a hard time over the summer just like buffy (of course buffy did have it a lot rougher) but both sides were going through it. i feel buffy was already at the point of “im ready to come home, ive come to terms with my decisions” but the rest of them including joyce are still upset and havent come to terms with it. the whole thing is very dynamic (which i personally liked about this episode, bc it can be defended so many ways) and i personally feel each person was doing what they were doing bc that was how they felt they shouldve acted. of course, what u think u should do isnt always the best thing to do haha
Sometimes two sides have a valid point to be angry. And even though Buffy may have suffered more, that doesn’t cancel Xander’s and Wollow’s tough time. So instead of repressing their valid feelings just because she had a tougher time, they chose to speak frankly about it. Their feelings don’t cancel hers and vice versa. They just have to come to grips that everybody is hurt. But that’s a good thing because , if they speak candidly, they can also have each other’s backs to come to terms with these feelings. It’s not easy or nice, but all in all, very wholesome
Xander is the one that actually infuriates me here especially because he is the one that judges Buffy the most and was like “what you did was incredibly selfish.” Like rightio why don’t you fess up to the time that you selfishly lied to Buffy about Willow trying to restore Angel’s soul??
Yeah the scoobies behave kinda dickishly here. Frankly to the point of not being fully believable character-wise. No matter how weirded out or angry they are I just don’t see Xander Willow and Oz thinking the solution is “Hey let’s invite a bunch of strangers to destroy your house while we treat you like a leper, then attack you for having emotions.” It kinda grates against everything we know of their characters. It’s a big strike against the ep IMHO. Also in my day this kind of party would NEVER happen when someone’s parents were home! I mean Joyce is putting out the good china and next thing she’s got a full blown hootenanny in her house that no one cleared with her, and she seems to have no problem with it? (Joyce’s bottomless home-repair budget is a bit of a rabbit hole on its own tho...)
@@lenr112 We ARE talking about Buffy here. You know, she of the 'not good with words' even in the BEST of circumstances. Both in her bedroom, and downstairs, she tries to talk, and no one listens. Every time she opens her mouth and even tries to form a sentence, she gets cut off, and when she doesn't she's a ramble-y mess. No one gives her space to calm down enough to articulate, despite being her mother and best friends and therefore presumably knowing what she's like when she's upset. Bottom line, they decided their feelings were more important than hers. Also, she did TRY to talk to Willow and Xander. Not about her feelings, but just... period, she was trying to talk to them, and they both blew her off. If they won't even have a normal conversation with her, at a party that's supposed to be ABOUT her... why would she assume they'd listen when she tried to talk about her feelings? And, I think that "girl who had to murder the man she loves like 3 months ago bc of a sacred duty she never wanted" deserves more sympathy here. Esp from Joyce, who is her MOTHER. Like, yes parents are allowed to make mistakes. But parent's mistakes affect their kids. Joyce isn't exempt from consequences for her own actions. Consequences in this case being, congrats, your daughter feels like she's not wanted. She did the hardest thing she's ever had to do in her life, something no one there could even possibly relate to in terms of difficulty, at the age of seven-frikkin-teen, and what did she get? /gestures at everyone's behavior/
For the record, I'm not angry that the characters acted like that, it's realistic and I think it's very a very well-written episode. I'm angry on Buffy's behalf as a person because her side of things never gets addressed properly. Characters making mistakes/acting flawed, great! The narrative never serving to confront those flaws or correct those mistakes, bleh.
@@lenr112 They knew that she had to kill Angel, whether he had a soul or not that's devastating. They knew that she was in trouble with the police and they may have known that Joyce kicked her out (not sure on that). But they can't give her a fucking break or some time to be able to talk to them now that she's back...
I sided with Buffy more. She should not have left, but “boy troubles” was her having to kill the one she loved, and again, Xander’s lie is what made her think no one would wanna hear her cry for Angel. Willow bailed on their plans, and was avoiding her at the party. And then Joyce, who granted, was venting, said having her home was worse, which pretty much confirmed Buffy’s fears that no one wanted her home.
Big same, I think this moment and "kick his ass" were my moments where I lost any respect I had for Xander. I can understand his anger, but the lack of sympathy he has regarding Angel has always rubbed me the wrong way.
The Lie was what she needed to hear. I still don't understand why people have a problem with it. Angel needed to die, and there was no indication that Willow would ever succeed at such powerful magic.
@@jossland1628 I disagree. My issue is Xander blatantly lied, and in addition, did not pass on the message Willow trusted him to pass on. He took it upon himself to know what was best, he did not trust Buffy to do what she had to do.
@@laurenfrey873 Because he has his eyes on the bigger picture, where both of them don't. Xander is objectively in the right- you don't gamble the fate of the world on hoping everything turns out for the best. You hedge as much as you are able, and then some more.
I hate this episode. The time at which the scoobies had a right to be mad at Buffy was at the beginning. At Giles' house they ask her where she was and what happened and she says she doesn't want to talk about it. That's when they had a right to be angry. But they then spend the rest of the next several days doing absolutely everything they can to avoid dealing with her. Willow skips out on their date in which they could have worked through their issues. When presented with a small group gathering with which they could have gotten everything out they instead decided to throw a massive party so they wouldn't have to talk to her. Buffy then asks Willow and Xander point blank what's wrong and they're both like "it's fine, it's good, we're all great". And after all that they think they have a right to chastise her for not dealing with it? There's not one ounce of empathy in that last scene. Buffy literally killed her boyfriend to protect her friends and when push comes to shove Willow is angry that Buffy wasn't there to talk about Willow's problems? Wow. Just f*ck whatever you were going through, why weren't you there to deal with more of my crap. And it doesn't let up either. The conclusion of the episode is Buffy saying "I was wrong." and shouldering everyone else's resentment over her leaving. Not one person bothers to help her shoulder her own feelings over what happened. For god sakes, Giles is the only one who even welcomes her home.
YES. All of this. I will never forgive Xander, Willow, or Joyce for any of this. Seriously, if a friend disappears and finally shows up, I'm going to be asking how they are, making sure you're okay, and only temporarily mad - while making sure they know it's because I was worried about them, not because it left me having to deal with having a boyfriend - for a sentence or two. And I'd actually say I'm glad to have them back! Geeze.
I know RIGHT. I blame Joss and the writers! Buffy didn’t owe anyone anything except maybe to let them know before she left. But she could’ve acted WAY worse after all she went through! She s allowed to make a mistake. THEYRE the ones that should’ve apologized
In buffy’s defense she probably thought, “My own mother kicked me out, so why would my platonic friends want anything to do with me.” Which IS what Joyce did. Yes she gave Buffy an ultimatum, but when the choice is get kicked out and save the world, or stay and let the world die, saving the world is the obvious choice. A lot of fans seems to forget that and think Buffy just left because she felt like it. Also, what was ultimately different with last years summer. Sure she ran away to LA, but she left last summer to hang with her dad, who I’m pretty sure actually lives in Los Angeles!!! At least I think so, that’s where her last high school was anyway. Don’t get me wrong, Buffy’s friends have a right to be upset that she didn’t even talk to them or say bye, but the reasons they gave and the way they were talking to her almost made my eyes roll out of my head.
Everyone always seems to forget one of the last threads that really pushed Buffy over the line. The fact that Angel had his soul back before she killed him. They don't know that and she is beyond afraid to share that with them because of how they felt about what he did without it...
I blame Xander for pushing Buffy over the edge to where she felt that no one would empathize what she had to do since he always wanted Angel to die because he never had a shot with Buffy
@@AscendedXSaiyan No, it's pretty much just that. Notice how despite going through the exact same things, Xander was the only one going "he's gotta die, he's gotta die, he's gotta die". I'd argue Willow and Giles had it way worse than Xander given Willow was seconds away from being murdered by him and Giles lost Jenny to him. Despite that both of them were level headed enough to say "returning his soul is the right thing to do". But "forever blinded by his boner" Xander couldn't see past that Buffy chose Angel over him.
For real, I hate everyone in this episode besides Giles and Buffy. Maybe they're sad their friend was gone, or they feel abandoned or whatever. But Buffy's literally depressed and trying to be strong for them, and they all just throw it back in her face.
And Oz. Oz and Giles are arguably have the best intentions; although Oz is maybe a little oblivious in agreeing to have his band play at Buffy's house.
@@stargazer1682 no way is Oz oblivious. hes one of the most thoughtful and insightful people in the group and is dating Willow and has listened to what shes been thinking and feeling all summer long. theres NO WAY he is ignorant of the fact they are using this big party to avoid her.
@@unrelatedcoma He was oblivious to the fact that that might not have been a good idea - because it definitely wasn't. That doesn't make him less thoughtful or insightful. I would wholeheartedly disagree with any suggestion that he offered this as an intentional diversion or deflection, to make it easier to avoid Buffy, or avoid the discomfort people were feeling; because that would be a dick move for him to consciously do.
@@stargazer1682 hes there while theyre planning it. the tone of the room is pretty awkward while even discussing if they will attend the dinner, and then they clearly talk it up to a party to avoid. he lists the different levels of parties to confirm what theyre after and agrees to bring his band. he knows what hes doing.
The Scoobies taking over the Summers house with a rock band and an enormous party was so damn rude. Her friends are mad at her for leaving after she got kicked out of her house, expelled from her school, framed for murder, shot at by police and had to murder her true love... And Willow's like "But I'm dating a boy. Boo-boo," Get bent, Scoobies. #TeamBuffy
They don't know that Angel got his soul back, and definitely not that Buffy had to kill him after that, in cold blood (I think she would fare much better if she had to just run Angelus through with that sword in fight), but still - the fact that the Scoobies bring that party in her house (which is a big way of avoiding talking to her) and THEN Xander has to audacity to demand that Buffy listens to Willow? They basically showed her that they don't really care about her, about what she went through and about her feelings. What did they expect?
to me i feel everyone is in the right in their own way. like buffy lost her support system, killed angel, all that. willow and xander lost a friend they grew close with and then had to take up her responsibility as a slayer in sunnydale. both sides had a hard time over the summer. of course buffy did have a muuuch harder time, doesnt mean the hard time willow and xander had means any less to them. plus theyre teenagers and teens r dumb and selfish in some ways. but either way, totally see ur point!
@@hekkoCZ It's a real stretch to say that they don't care about her because they had an argument. They are not telepathic they just know she ditched them . All of them were in the wrong but people say irrational things when they're angry. If this show was made today most of the people would probably want the title changed from Dead man's party to Healing encounter group .
I get her friends being mad that she left and didn't at least call and let them know that she was okay and that she needed space, but she was going through a lot and they didn't seem to take that into account at all when they were venting at her. As for Joyce, I have a real problem with her being angry at Buffy for leaving when she told her not to come back. It's a thing I see in fiction too often, where a parent gives their kid an ultimatum like that, and I can't stand it.
maddwitch In their defense, we know what happened. They know nothing but that Acathla didn’t open and Buffy is gone. That’s it. They don’t know Buffy killed Angel after getting his soul back. For all they know Buffy killed Angelus in a brutal fight before Acathla was activated.
@@flee4342 Honestly never thought that even mattered much (him turning back to Angel). I understand why they did it for the show, and yeah, it would suck WAY worse. But they all should have felt awful for her anyway, even thinking it was Angelus she killed. It was still the body and face of her boyfriend, that she would never get to see again. I think that still merits a great deal of compassion and respect towards what she's going through. Could you imagine doing that to the body of your loved one if they were possessed or something? Yikes.
I side more with Buffy on this whole thing, but I do get where her friends were coming from. I've known addicts who disappear for long periods of time and while it's not like Buffy's situation, that stress and worry of not knowing where your loved one is is the same and it's terrifying. You don't know if they're dead, if they hurt themselves or hanging around someone who's hurting them. Pretty much every terrible situation goes through your head and there's nothing you can do about it.
@@flee4342Willow did the SPELL for Angel to get his soul back. Xander also knew about that. They both knew there was a CHSNCE Buffy killed the real Angel, but of course they never shared that info with her….
@@insertname193it doesn’t justify them staring a fight over it though. 2 wrongs DONT make a right. They have NO right to judge Buffy when she was literally going through the same thing with Angel. Thinking she’d never see him again. Plus we ALL do weird things after losing a loved one. Xander is one to talk. He cast a spell after Cordy wanted to break up. Or when Giles wanted to kill Angelus. When we lose a loved one we’ll do things out of our character. Instead of complaining, they should’ve been grateful for her sacrifice saving the world…
The only plot hole is the charges she would have had for resisting arrest and assaulting an officer. But, I’m sure Sunnyvale PD would have mad a deal for trying shoot an unarmed teenaged girl in the back.
@@razycrandomgirland Kendra is not Buffy. She died twice (sorry spoiler) and was able to come back. But was Kendra? Nope. Shame I loved Kendra . One of my fav characters..
The scoobies acted stupidly. They unilaterally decided to have a party at Buffy's house and then basically ignored her. They basically took no notice nor care of Buffy's feelings and the worst of them was Xander, starting with the scene outside Giles's apartment.
They were all so passive aggressive like she’d slighted them somehow needing to go away after everything that went down. The more times I watch, the more I think they become really shitty, self absorbed friends. Any time Buffy messes up, they turn on her. It’s the gaslighting that bothers me the most
Yeah this episode always felt odd to me, many characters feel like they're acting slightly out of character. Maybe not Xander, he tiptoes the line of tough love and being an ass quite often but Willow.
I think they meant well. It didn’t turn out like they planned but I think that just speaks to the awkwardness. They still love Buffy but don’t know how to deal. Just my thought.
@@4everbuffylover Totally agree but maybe the one exception is season 2 premiere when Buffy treats them badly (albeit for pretty understandable PTSD reasons) and they forgive her pretty much instantly?
I don't think I ever got over how horrible Willow and Xander were after this episode. I still went on to enjoy them, but I've gone through an event like Buffy did at the party and I was never really able to forgive my family for it. Seeing Willow, Xander, and Joyce do something so similar stuck with me. I haven't forgiven them for what they did to Buffy.
Willow and Xander were putting their lives on the line killing vampires without slayer strength in Buffy's absence . They had no idea if she was living it up somewhere. If they'd welcomed her back with open arms it would have been unrealistic.
@@lenr112 but basically cornering her up into an argument in the middle of a party (that she didn't want) full of strangers was such a shitty move (specially after she tried to talk to them but they ignored her). Also them becoming the "slayerettes" was their idea/choice, Buffy didn't ask them to do it. And the council could have sent some people there if the vampire/demon activity increased that much.
Yeah I empathize with Joyce that's her daughter, but Xander and Willow here can fuck right off. It's realistic though, too many people don't realise the "stern talking to" approach isn't the way to get through to everyone, sometimes comfort is the thing that a distressed person needs, not a lecture.
Vampires are attracted to bright colors (not sure if the episode that establishes it has happened yet). Since Buffy has been slaying vampires for a year and a half in sunnydale, there's less vampires and it is safer to wear bright colors.
Season 1: Buffy dies Season 2: She manages to connect with Angel on a level she can’t with anyone else. He loses his soul which she blames herself for profusely and ultimately has to kill him (Xander’s fault). Season 3: “Look I’m sorry your honey was a demon, but most girls don’t hop a greyhound over boy troubles” - Xander
Joyce: "Buffy, you didn't give me time. You just dumped this thing on me and you expected me to get it. Well, guess what? Mom's not perfect, okay? I handled it badly. But that doesn't give you the right to punish me by running away. " This is not an apology, Joyce.
Jaycie Victory True! Listening to Joss Whedon and Martin Noxxon speak so in depth about the characters and their plans for them I can almost believe they had some season 6 ideas in their heads regarding how certain characters may change
Actually their fighting didn't resolve anything because zombies showed up before they could talk it out. They simply stopped arguing because surviving was obviously more important. This episde annoys me and Xander and Willow in particular.
@@Henrik_Holst if you and you're mother had a fallen out as upset as you maybe with her you would not leave you're mother in any immediate danger either
I love whenever you dive into the meaning of technical decisions on this show, its one of my favourite things to pick apart in movies and TV in general, I wouldn't complain if you dove into it more every episode!
I enjoyed Giles the most out of this episode. I always struggle with Xander as a character. I get that he's a teenager boy with all that entails...but so much of his attitude and what he says have never landed with me.
I like this episode but it always pissed me off how they all kind of avoided Buffy for the entire episode, specially at the party when she was TRYING to talk to them (they weren't even interested, like she's been gone for three months, and you can't even stop pretending you're watching your boyfriend play to have a decent conversation with your best friend??), until she's overwhelmed by all of it and tries to run away, then they lash out at her. I get what the writers were trying to do in this episode, but I hated it. The action, ending and zombie theme was great though. Giles had definitely the best lines in this episode. And tbh, I think some of us have also had an experience similar to what Buffy went through at that party, that's why it's so relatable and infuriating. xD
"Throwing a party because Angel's dead" as a prediction made me lol. Loved that you went in-depth on this episode. I think it gets overlooked because of the underwhelming zombie MOTW. This one's all about the characters and it's great. Plus the scene in the library with Giles' cat is comedy gold.
Yep. YEP. Still pretty much hate Xander and Willow in this episode 😤😤 Love how they all pile on Buffy at once. Nothing like taking over a friend's house without permission, forcing a party on her when you know she's traumatised and then all of you yelling at her and humiliating her in front of most of the school she got kicked out from. ARGH.
Honestly, Giles is the best thing about this episode. The Scoobies all ganging up on Buffy like that just makes me upset. So little understanding about the trauma she went through.
This episode pisses me off so much! The gang unfortunately was unknowing of what was going on with Buffy, but they could have been more gentle and kind. Yeah, okay, Buffy ran away, but you don't have to give her hell for it. Like step back, and give yourself a self-reflection guys. You're not perfect either. They were all so selfish in this episode. Loved your reaction. Always makes a bad day better.
I just don’t get why they were so HOSTILE like she killed their puppy or something. They were so aggressive and rude. Why would she want to stay when everyone is being so distant?
@@4everbuffylover They all went through yet another life or death experience, lost some people close to them from Angel, Buffy takes off everyone's worried about her, gone for who knows how long without so much as a letter....and BOOM she randomly turns up and expects things to be normal? If your best friend, or a family member just up and left randomly and didn't speak to you or anything for x amount of time, and you're constantly worried about them, are they ok? Where are they? What's going on? Do they need help? Only for them to randomly turn up...would you rush to forgive them? Or would you avoid them for a bit? Most would lean to avoiding them...making them earn back the trust and everything else they left behind. It's very realistic.
This episode kinda gets on my nerves. The “characters have an issue and they aren’t talking when they should talk about it” plot line is one of the worst. Thankfully, Sarah’s performance in the living room during the party and throughout the episode really made up for it.
The only one doing things rights and getting where Buffy is at the moment, is Giles. Joyce annoys me, but I can understand her. Xander and Willow are idiots. And we're used to Xander being one, but Willow's attitude is really disappointing.
Joyce disappoints me more than any of them, because she's Buffy's Mother. Once again, she fails to own up to her part in Buffy leaving, and just deflects.
@@AscendedXSaiyan "Xander is the heart'' that I never get at all. If he's the heart, he sure is an unempathetic one. And it's obvious Xander's an idiot here because 1) He blows up on her AFTER Joyce yells at her so... he chimes in! wow 🙄 2) He told Buffy "Kick his ass" to make Willow take his side and so basically Buffy thinks her friends were rooting for her to kill Amgel... How do you expect Buffy to tell her friends: 'Gee, you guys have no idea what it's like to kill Angel when he got his soul back... and I can't even get back to school 'cause of the murder charges. Yeah police thought I killed Kendra. Oh and when I was in LA, I almost got stuck in some time warp place where I'd probably end up looking old and forgotten... and on top of that, Mom now knows I'm a Slayer. But she decided to kick me out and now I'm back. So, thanks so much for being understanding.''
The thing is , Buffy IS always focused on her thing. And a lot of the time she treats them like sidekicks , not friends. Her friendship is kind of one-sided a lot of the time. I don't think it is her fault. She has a huge responsibility to focus on. But it still causes hurt feelings and problems.
Did you notice that Giles is the only 1 to say welcome home. The joy on his face in the kitchen is sweet, he is the dad she always wanted. The others didn't seem that enthusiastic. The party made me feel really uncomfortable. When your still trying to get to grips with things a house rager isn't something you want to get involved in.
It really shows that Giles is the only one to run away from home before and come back. He gets what Buffy will be feeling better so can push aside his own wants to push for answers or point out how worried he’d been and just be there for her.
It's been a while since I've seen it, but from memory the sound effects (we don't see it on screen) imply that the cat came off second best in that confrontation.
An episode about how the things we bury have a tendency to come back and ruin the party, and also how the things we bury have a tendency to come back and ruin the party. The title is from an Oingo Boingo song.
Aghhhhh one of my most hated Buffy episodes. Buffy was kicked out! KICKED OUT! And then she comes back and everyone treats her like horseshit, and then get mad at HER for “burying things” when it’s THEM who were avoiding taking about it!!! AAAAAAGH Buffy deserved so much better.
Pointing out foreshadowing can still spoil things. You're putting something into the thought process that wasn't there before. Yours isn't bad, but if a lot of people point it out it becomes a spoiler.
Buffy: *finally comes home after hitting rock bottom several months ago* Willow: *selfish whining* Xander: *selfish whining* Joyce: *selfish whining* Cordelia: "Um, guys, Buffy has been through some serious shi-" Willow, Xander, and Joyce: *SELFISH WHINING INTENSIFIES*
I agree. But to be fair we really only got a deep look at how Buffy had suffered from all this. I think the first episode could have been better because of this. I would still take Buffy’s side but it was also kind of one sided. They could have shown how the Scooby’s were struggling and almost dying because Buffy skipped town more.
Another great review! I was SO pissed off at Night Hawk this episode. The audacity of him getting in Buffy's face like that when he played a huge role in what went down with Angel and Acathla. Had he delivered Willow's actual message to Buffy like he was supposed to, she might not have had to leave town. The scene where Giles offered to "convince" Snyder was legit my first time being all "oh daaang Giles! Rawr!" Lmao. How are you enjoying the hairstyle changes between seasons 1, 2, and 3 so far? Season 3 is off to a great start but I'm def looking forward to your reaction to the next episode! Thanks again for doing what you do! :)
While Xander's motives weren't right, if he had told Buffy that Willow was working on restoring Angel's soul, she more likely would have held back. Hoping to buy time. It would have been more dangerous and the chances she could have gotten killed would be higher. But more importantly, even if she didn't get killed, knowing Angel could be getting his soul back would not have kept her from having to kill him. Fighting full force with the belief she had to defeat and kill Angel, she was not able to keep him from opening the portal. Holding back she wouldn't have done better at preventing that, even if it didn't make it worse (which it probably would have). So passing the correct message on to Buffy would not have kept her from having to kill him, and she still would have left town.
@@Logan_Baron that wasn't his choice to make. She's the Slayer, not him. Knowing she had options could have dramatically impacted her choices going into that fight. All she had to do was fend Angel off, not kill him. You can't ignore the fact that, retrospectively speaking, had Buffy simply fended off Angelus from the sword for another 10 mins, she never would have had to kill Angel when Willow's spell kicked in. I see what you're saying but I respectfully disagree. I still say to this day that Xander taking that decision away from Buffy was a seriously shitty thing for him to do.
@@fuionochingsung5091 Spoilers under read more to be safe Plus, Xander does it entirely for selfish reasons. He wants Cordy. He wants Buffy. And as we see later this season, he wants Willow. He's entirely motivated by his own selfish desires. He really wants them all available just for him.
@@serenaperez5495 We actually don't know what would happen, but Buffy would be paying more attention to what Angelus is doing. Meaning, less likeliness of him ever getting to the sword in the statue. Meaning, less likeliness of having to kill/murder him to save the world, souled or not souled. She didn't know about it, and he got to that sword in about a minute into the fight. Knowing at least might have changed that. We know for a fact that not knowing did not help anything because we all saw it.
"We love people who are able to say what they think! This is coming from a place where 30 year old men can't talk about anything!" HAHA right? I think you're going to find it very refreshing to see all the character development the Buffy characters go through across the seasons.
Love the "camera talking", please keep going. And Hereditary is amaaazing, I understand the scene you mentioned (Toni Collette so iconic btw). I think the message of the episode is that we can't hide the problems, or try to escape without facing It, they always come back. Xander's line for Buffy during the arguing party kinda explains this.
Jonathan has been in a lot of episodes, so far. He's kinda their designated extra at this point. It was about at this time during the first run that I developed my "If Danny Strong ever appears in the credits at the beginning of an episode, Jonathan will die" theory. Since his acting role on Buffy, he's gone on to have a very successful career as a screen writer, and producer. He's won a couple of Emmys, and wrote the scripts for the last pair of _Hunger Games_ movies.
This is one of those episodes I love and hate at the same time. The stuff with Giles is wonderful, that look he has when Buffy returns with the gang and he's trying not to tear up is so sweet. At the end he goes Ripper on Snyder, so awesome. But Xander this episode? Holy Hell, he's awful, almost to the point of being out of character. The Scoobies just don't... talk. It's painful to watch, they bottle up their frustrations then it all comes pouring out in that one party scene.
I side with Buffy on this argument. Buffy experienced everything the scoobies experienced. Plus, even more. Not only did she have to kill Angel AFTER he got his soul back. She had been kicked out of her house. Kicked out of her SECOND school. She felt guilty about getting her best friends and her father figure hurt, and Jenny killed because she couldn't kill Angel when she had the opportunity. Not to mention Kendra, a Slayer, dying and her realizing that would be her fate as well. Her best friend from her previous school tried to serve her to Spike. The only teacher, principal, and guidance counselor to believe in her are dead. Her mom was bitten by a vampire. One boy she liked turned into a fish monster after sexually assaulting her. I get everyone else being mad, but they can leave the life whenever they want. There's only one way out for Buffy. So they can all go suck on a lemon.
I love the way you discuss all the camera angles and directorial stuff. It's not something most reactors even touch on and it really adds a whole other depth to things.. Brilliant observations. I also like how everybody handled things like real people would by doing or saying the wrong things instead of the perfect resolutions which TV shows often give us.
I actually really can't stand this episode. Throwing a party at my moms house after inviting you to dinner is actually grounds for terminating the friendship. Then to make the entire thing about them, acting surprised she wants to leave again after how they treated her coming back, ignoring that she just lost her boyfriend and had to kill him ontop of that - honestly just gross af. These are trash friends.
I have a complicated relationship with this episode. It's hard to watch for me, but everyone is acting completely understandably, even when they do the wrong thing. Ignoring how Buffy leaving really hurt everyone would have been a mistake for the show, in my opinion. I do think Joyce needs to take responsibility for her part, and Xander was definitely a jerk, but Willow didn't want to hurt Buffy but didn't know what to do with her own pain. It's easy to forget, since the show literally revolves around Buffy, but one of the best aspects of the show is how every character feels real, and real people have their own problems and trauma. Again, I barely ever rewatch this episode because it's hard to watch, but I think the series is better for it.
I'm with you on this episode. I especially hate Willow in this one. Willow and Buffy are suppose to be best friends. Willow doesn't act it though. She ditches Buffy and gives her the cold shoulder. Then to top it off she compares her stuff to Buffy's stuff. How are they even close to be comparable? Willow is in love for the first time and practicing magic. Yeah that's close to be wanted for murder, getting kicked out of school, and killing your boyfriend (I know Willow doesn't know it was Angel. It doesn't matter) to save the world. Willow is so selfish in this episode. I know she is a teenager but doesn't excuse her actions and I do wish they were addressed.
Jim C mind you willows problems are things that she CHOSE too. Buffy did not choose to kill her boyfriend, or get kicked out of her home, or out of her school. Willows problems are so petty.
Exactly! The more times I watch this, and a handful of other episodes, the more cynical I am of their friendship. Particularly Willow. She’s SO passive aggressive and selfish. The more confidence she gets, the more self centered she becomes and it bothers me.
@@4everbuffylover I have a hard time understanding why Willow is a favorite character from this universe with her actions in this and previous episodes.
joeychiba22 Same. And to make it worse, we were all drunk. Drunk people arguing about things that are deeply personal to them is really not a good idea. Especially in front of company😬
I don't see that it was so wrong for the gang to speak their minds . It was written to be dramatic but realistically you can understand why it would go down like that . All those people hating on the Scoobies need to live in the real world not a world where everyone says exactly the right thing at exactly the right time .
@@lenr112nothing wrong with speaking your mind but the WAY the didn it was wrong. And the timing was bad too. A party is supposed to be a happy time. You don’t just START an argument. That’s childish even for teenagers. Plus they were SUPER mean to Buffy. Even if Buffy made a mistake, she’s ALLOWED to. She’s human. Plus her friends are no better starting a fight. Two wrongs dont make a right. They’re all hypocrites too. They’d be NO better if the had Buffy’s crazy life. It’s easy to judge someone else when you dont have their problems.
I personally don't really like how Xander and Willow handled the situation. I mean yes they have the right to be mad at her, they suffered from her absence and not knowing if she was alive or dead, but they should have tried to be more understanding. Buffy went throught hell. She had to kill the person she was deeply in love with right after he had his soul back, her mom rejected her and basically drove her to leave, she also has been expelled from her school and on top of that Kendra died so with all of that happening Buffy had the right to have a mental breakdown. Maybe leaving wasn't the best decision to make but, she is alllowed to make mistakes and maybe that it was what she needed at the time to deal with the pain she was feeling. Xander especially should have showed more compassion towards Buffy instead of shouting at her how horrible of a person she makes and how dumb she was to leave. Especially when he says "you owe it to her" well I don't owe you anything actually, I have the right to deal with my shit the way I want to. The only person she owes something to is her mom. To me, Giles was the one who had the best reaction, especially in the next episode he is going to be really helpful to Buffy.
THANKYOU! Buffy is ALLOWED to slip up just like anyone else! NONE of them would’ve done better in Buffy’s shoes. You can’t have a crazy life like Buffy’s and STAY sane. They’re all a bunch of hypocrites. Xander is ONE to talk about misbehaving after getting hurt by a loved one. In S2, he made a spell after Cordy wanted to break up. It hurt many innocent ppl. Buffy could’ve been WAY worse after all she went through. They had NO mercy in this ep.
I got excited when this initially aired, because my favorite song by Oingo Boingo is "Dead Man's Party" (which I remain convinced was a clever allusion by Joss and team, and if you haven't heard it, look it up on UA-cam. Danny Elfman is a frickin' Academy Award winning composer, and this was him prior to that.) It would have been really cool if that had showed up in the background during the episode. This was a cringe-worthy episode in terms of all the people, friends, family, casual acquaintances, who were so judgmental of Buffy. You said it correctly when you noted that "she just cannot catch a single break." Buffy had been kicked out of school, out of home, had to kill Angel knowing he was back with a soul, had literally been in a hell dimension in S2/E1 "Anne", and she's getting no support from her friends, even in a "party" environment. Willow turning on her was heartbreaking. That said, Giles came through for her in the end. And indeed, Snider probably never got a single date in high school. And the difference in the theme music is that it lacks that "screamy" part with Willow apparently doing the "scream". Nerf Herder rerecorded it and it is ever-so-slightly better produced (though they were still basically rock and roll to the core.)
They do like references in the titles. "I only have eyes for you" is a song as well. "When She was bad" and "The harvest" are movie titles. I also think that the song "Welcome to the djungle" is refeered to in the title of the first episode. Not spot on, but I think its close enough.
@@erikohman2294 I'm in what I've found to be the minority on my interpretation of "When She Was Bad." There is an old children's poem: "There once was a girl, who had a little curl Right down the middle of her forehead And when she was good, she was very very good But when she was bad she was horrid" But that is what immediately struck me when I first saw that episode back in the day, your interpretation is in line with other commenters that I've seen on reaction channels.
I always hated how they all ganged up on her. It is their right to bust her on trying to go it alone, since the Scoobies are her unique strength that other slayers didn't have, but none of them understand the burden she carries.
As much as I love Will, this episode shows my main problems with her - her need for Buffy to carry Willow's emotional burdens, or for Buffy to act emotionally in certain ways (like in 'I Only Have Eves for You' - why aren't you ready to date again, Buffy? date, date, date!). Of course supporting each other is an integral part of any friendship, but people aren't always in a mental state where they can support others, no matter how strong the relationship. And when they are attacking Buffy for her actions and that she's not talking to them - why would she open up when they're coming at her from all directions? People talk when they're ready, and creating a hostile environment does not help allowing oneself to be vulnerable. [rant over :)]
The most enjoyable thing about watching a reaction to this episode is reading the hysterical (in both senses) outpourings of many of the posters it attracts! :)
Buffy left because she had to kill the love of her life to save the world. She was crashed by grief and had to be on her own for a while which, in my view, is completely justified. I don't believe that Buffy 'was in a wrong' here. Of course her friends and her mom would react that way as from their perspective she shouldn't have left, but as she said it herself, they wouldn't understand how she felt and what she's been through.
I'm glad you brought up the camera shots. Cinematography/camera work/editing are all a huge part of the narrative and a lot of reactors don't touch upon this.
OH, and I really like your film-making talk! Keep breaking down the angles, and interpret the cinematography to your heart's content. You have good thoughts and a good understanding, and even though I've watched this show countless times since it first aired (and then), you point out imagery and shots that I've never noticed. Thank you! Keep it up! SOOOO cool! :)
Literally needed this, just moved into University and we aren't even allowed to speak to the neighbours and its quite depressing. Never been so glad for a UA-cam upload
@@alleybox IDK if you'll ever read this. But I graduated 2 days ago with an honours degree. Still watching the channel and was binging some old buffy reactions (I've been re-watching the show) and came across this.
One of the facemask I ordered says Do you like my mask? Isn't it pretty? It raises the dead!' Also you edited so much out I have to watch full reaction for sure! I have that shirt, was the first Buffy shirt I got!
Late to the party but this episode always upsets me. I hate when they gang up on Buffy instead of sitting down rationally or keeping it to one-on-one confrontations. Buffy can't catch a break
Buffy in the wrong? Go back and look at her last interaction with each of them. We have Xander's rant about Angel. From Willow she got "kick his ass" (she didn't actually say that, but Buffy doesn't know that). Cordelia's "he only comes after us" and Joyce's "don't even think about coming back." (And why, Joyce, are there only consequences for Buffy's actions. Maybe own up to some consequences for saying something like that rather than brushing it off as "handled it badly.") Note: there are reasons Joyce was kept out of the loop, but that's back-story not revealed until much later in the show so I won't say any more on that here. Then, she's gone through something that's emotionally destroyed her. Given the above, can she expect any interaction with any of them that wouldn't make it worse. The only person who might possibly support her--based on what she knows--is Giles, and given the opposition from everyone else, that's a mighty thin reed to hang on. And when she gets back, her so-called friends have nothing to do with her. And then she overhears her mother saying having her back is worse. Is it any wonder she started packing again. And that leads to her so-called friends ganging up on her. The Scoobies really come across badly here.
Dead Man's Party got me into buffy on another level, so emotionally invested in the group by the end of it. Much happens. The episode actually builds up a scary sense that they're gonna drift apart or not be the same as a group
I love your analysis of the shots :) when I watch stuff I like to think about things they're doing with music and visual choices, I just don't know a lot about it.
I love this episode. And I love your reaction! So glad you are genuinely into this series, just like I knew you would! The third season was definitely a great turn for the series.
This is one of my two most hated episodes in the entire show. I hate so much how they treat Buffy. Though "do you like my mask, isn't it pretty? it raises the dead. pfft Americans" is one of the best lines of the whole series
I feel like the symbolism in this episode is that, when it comes down to it, the important thing is that you all pull together and fight the good fight. It didn't matter that those people were dead; they still rose and marched together to find the mask. Even though the Scoobies were all fighting and angry when they were bombarded, that immediately disappeared and they knew it was time to get to business to save the world.
i would've loved even more like what u said about hereditary. just an awkward dinner party like they had planned that leads to argument where all the scoobies explode their feelings
Dingoes Ate My Baby is actually a real band called Four Star Mary and the album is called Thrown to the Wolves whaich has all the songs that Dingoes perform on the show and yes it's on UA-cam to listen to
First, this is an episode I consider on my top ten worst list or at least top fifteen I always found certain things about the group's anger at Buffy odd. Two of the three members, Xander and Joyce, are angry despite playing parts in the reason Buffy left. Joyce kicked Buffy out (I have seen people argue that Joyce didn't mean it, but it didn't stop her from saying it to a teenager who was in a headspace to believe her. Then in this episode she says to Pat that it was better when Buffy was gone. Not knowing about Buffy's calling no longer matters as Buffy once again heard another phrase that, in her mind, was no better than, "If you walk out of this house don't even think about coming back." Xander's phrase of "Willow said kick his ass," blames Willow, severely limited Buffy's front line of battle in _Becoming_ and shows he doesn't trust the progress Buffy has made from _Innocence_ until _Becoming._ This is what Xander should have trusted: Buffy's mapped out progress from "give me time" in _Innocence_ to "I'm done waiting" in Becoming Part 1 (She wasn't ready in _Innocence,_ but despite that she didn't allow werewolf's to become problems in _Phases, I Only Have Eyes for You[this episode is also when she forgave herself],_ and _Go Fish._ She studied Angelus in _Bewitched Bothered and Bewildered._ She saved Giles from trying to "get himself killed" in _Passion,_ which is also when she put aside her emotions of grief. She even became overeager to kill him in _Killed by Death_ before she was ready to kill him in _Becoming Part 1). Buffy has more right to be angry at him in this episode. She just doesn't realize it. Willow didn't play a role in why Buffy left, but ignoring her lunch date out of anger only to be upset that Buffy isn't talking to her is dumb, as Buffy definitely would have told her at the lunch she ignored. Then, the group as a whole throwing a party just so they wouldn't have to speak to Buffy, despite the fact that they haven't even tried. Buffy had everything taken away from her in _Becoming._ School, boyfriend, family, enemy turned ally turned enemy in Spike, and her friends. By the end of this episode her friends still haven't won me back over to Buffy's good graces. Xander made Buffy believe Willow was just as against Angel as he was by saying "Willow said kick his ass," and yells at her for the outcome. Joyce kicked her out and yells at her for the outcome. Buffy knew Oz would just silently side with Willow as he is shown doing in this episode. Cordelia and Buffy don't have a friendship as shown by Cordelia trying to put Xander in Buffy's shoes and Buffy not liking it. Giles in this episode is researching and is the only one who seems glad to see Buffy and handles it well. People can criticize Buffy for running all they want, but the way they handled her return makes their complaints and arguments easily dismissable. I have never been a fan of this episode.
@@ronaldfasshauer4390 That doesn't have anything to do with why Buffy left or why she attempts to do so again in this episode. That argument takes place in _Revelations_ and the Scoobies don't even argue that point while yelling and "I statement"-ing her. If they want to say or yell at her about that...well, they never do. Xander indirectly in his anger references it periodically, but his anger is also jealousy over Buffy choosing choosing Angel (and has nothing to do with Angelus, so much as Angelus has given him an excuse to yell and rant), but not enough to allow her a defense. At this point the Scoobies don't know why or seem to care about why she ran.
The idea of zombie cat getting the mask reminds me of that movie where the dog got the mask. Now I’m trying to remember which came first, this episode or the Jim Carrie movie. Edit: looks like The Mask came out first in ‘94.
That moment where the zombie picks his head up off the gurney and leaves slimy goo and brain matter behind and you hear and see the fabric stick for a moment will forever be in my top 3 grossest Buffy moments
While I agree that it's a bit frustrating to see the characters not properly communicate until the end, I really appreciated how awkward, messy, and uncomfortable it feels, because that's exactly how a group of people dealing with this situation would behave (especially teenagers who're still figuring out how to process and express complicated emotions).
The thing is, they don't know about her having to kill Angel AFTER he got his soul back, that's the part they don't get which is why I so feel for Buffy here, everyone is attacking her. Then again they don't know only because she doesn't tell them, but then she's not telling them to not make them feel bad (but Xander kinda deserves to on that front) but also the hearing people say they don't want her around, or feeling like they don't. I dunno, I still was on Buffy's side tho I saw where everyone was coming from, I was still on Buffy's side. They are choosing to be in on the slaying... she doesn't get to choose, she has to do it.
Seems people have forgotten, that Buffy left because she just killed the love of her life, Angel, and sent him to hell. She isn't in a happy place right now. Now, she is the only one that knows this, and others have no idea what she had to do. I really disliked everyone sandbagging her. They act like she did some huge crime, and now she's being ungrateful. They have no idea just how bad they are coming off.
@@joeypotter6051 Yeah, but they don't know that Willow succeeded in restoring Angels soul. That he was his good self again, and that Buffy kissed him, and then killed him, and that action broke something inside of her. They only think, that she killed evil Angel, and don't understand the depth of her actions.
![[UA] NAVI vs MOUZ | BO5 | IEM Rio 2024](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/CMBYk0cbGoA/mqdefault.jpg)
I’m just gonna say it. “Do you like my mask? Isn’t it pretty? It raises the dead. Americans.” - The Quote of the Day Card.
I ordered a face mask with that quote on it, minus the Americans part
Honestly, with what's happening right now, I think an exasperated "Americans" is warranted.
@@laurenfrey873 That's so fcking funny, where'd you get it? The mask, I mean.
@@LivyRivy Yes, I want one!!!!!
Josie B where can I get one?
Cordy: "Time out, Xander. Put yourself in Buffy's shoes for just a minute. Okay? I'm Buffy, freak of nature, right? Naturally I pick a freak for a boyfriend, and then he turns into Mr. Killing Spree, which is pretty much my fault...
"
Buffy: "Cordy... get out of my shoes."
I DIE EVERY SINGLE TIME
Cordy’s sincere “I’m just trying to help, Buffy” right after makes me 😭 she’s really trying her best
@@ItsChesh and she's the only one actually attempting to empathize with Buffy instead of the "me, me, me" Willow and Xander give.
@@iloveyourunclebob you really think most teenagers would be different?
Jaded Wonderland To be 100 percent fair, that was a conversation that needed to happen. From someone whose problems are pretty close to Buffy’s it’s about understanding that people want to at least try to get why you did what you did. You need a Xander/Joyce/Willow to explain the consequences of what you did but you also need someone like Cordy to be like “okay but under different circumstances...” and make sure it doesn’t become the blame game. But there’s also a time and a place and surrounded by strangers and dangers was neither 😂
@@zakjaggs9761 lol yes, I was a teenager with teenage friends once
I was entirely on Buffy's side. The Scoobies pissed me off with how they didn't even try to understand her. Even when Buffy tried to reconnect with them, they tried to avoid an actual conversation by forcing a party on her, inviting a bunch of strangers.
very true. the way they approached the situation is horrible. but i feel willow and xander also were having a hard time over the summer just like buffy (of course buffy did have it a lot rougher)
but both sides were going through it. i feel buffy was already at the point of “im ready to come home, ive come to terms with my decisions” but the rest of them including joyce are still upset and havent come to terms with it. the whole thing is very dynamic (which i personally liked about this episode, bc it can be defended so many ways) and i personally feel each person was doing what they were doing bc that was how they felt they shouldve acted. of course, what u think u should do isnt always the best thing to do haha
Sometimes two sides have a valid point to be angry. And even though Buffy may have suffered more, that doesn’t cancel Xander’s and Wollow’s tough time.
So instead of repressing their valid feelings just because she had a tougher time, they chose to speak frankly about it. Their feelings don’t cancel hers and vice versa. They just have to come to grips that everybody is hurt. But that’s a good thing because , if they speak candidly, they can also have each other’s backs to come to terms with these feelings.
It’s not easy or nice, but all in all, very wholesome
I've always felt the same that the Scoobieswhere missing the point of it, and just decided to throw a house party.
Xander is the one that actually infuriates me here especially because he is the one that judges Buffy the most and was like “what you did was incredibly selfish.” Like rightio why don’t you fess up to the time that you selfishly lied to Buffy about Willow trying to restore Angel’s soul??
Yeah the scoobies behave kinda dickishly here. Frankly to the point of not being fully believable character-wise. No matter how weirded out or angry they are I just don’t see Xander Willow and Oz thinking the solution is “Hey let’s invite a bunch of strangers to destroy your house while we treat you like a leper, then attack you for having emotions.” It kinda grates against everything we know of their characters. It’s a big strike against the ep IMHO.
Also in my day this kind of party would NEVER happen when someone’s parents were home! I mean Joyce is putting out the good china and next thing she’s got a full blown hootenanny in her house that no one cleared with her, and she seems to have no problem with it? (Joyce’s bottomless home-repair budget is a bit of a rabbit hole on its own tho...)
Xander, Willow, and Joyce got their feelings out.
No one listened to Buffy's feelings.
She didn't tell them anything though. Without posting spoilers wasn't it particularly difficult to get Buffy to open up about anything that happened .
@@lenr112 they don't give her much of a chance to
@@lenr112 We ARE talking about Buffy here. You know, she of the 'not good with words' even in the BEST of circumstances. Both in her bedroom, and downstairs, she tries to talk, and no one listens. Every time she opens her mouth and even tries to form a sentence, she gets cut off, and when she doesn't she's a ramble-y mess. No one gives her space to calm down enough to articulate, despite being her mother and best friends and therefore presumably knowing what she's like when she's upset. Bottom line, they decided their feelings were more important than hers.
Also, she did TRY to talk to Willow and Xander. Not about her feelings, but just... period, she was trying to talk to them, and they both blew her off. If they won't even have a normal conversation with her, at a party that's supposed to be ABOUT her... why would she assume they'd listen when she tried to talk about her feelings?
And, I think that "girl who had to murder the man she loves like 3 months ago bc of a sacred duty she never wanted" deserves more sympathy here. Esp from Joyce, who is her MOTHER. Like, yes parents are allowed to make mistakes. But parent's mistakes affect their kids. Joyce isn't exempt from consequences for her own actions. Consequences in this case being, congrats, your daughter feels like she's not wanted. She did the hardest thing she's ever had to do in her life, something no one there could even possibly relate to in terms of difficulty, at the age of seven-frikkin-teen, and what did she get? /gestures at everyone's behavior/
For the record, I'm not angry that the characters acted like that, it's realistic and I think it's very a very well-written episode. I'm angry on Buffy's behalf as a person because her side of things never gets addressed properly. Characters making mistakes/acting flawed, great! The narrative never serving to confront those flaws or correct those mistakes, bleh.
@@lenr112 They knew that she had to kill Angel, whether he had a soul or not that's devastating. They knew that she was in trouble with the police and they may have known that Joyce kicked her out (not sure on that). But they can't give her a fucking break or some time to be able to talk to them now that she's back...
"It cheers up the room."
"It's mad at the room, mom, it wants the room to suffer."
"Will you be slaying?" "Only if they give me lip" Oh buffy, I love you
I sided with Buffy more. She should not have left, but “boy troubles” was her having to kill the one she loved, and again, Xander’s lie is what made her think no one would wanna hear her cry for Angel. Willow bailed on their plans, and was avoiding her at the party. And then Joyce, who granted, was venting, said having her home was worse, which pretty much confirmed Buffy’s fears that no one wanted her home.
Big same, I think this moment and "kick his ass" were my moments where I lost any respect I had for Xander. I can understand his anger, but the lack of sympathy he has regarding Angel has always rubbed me the wrong way.
The Lie was what she needed to hear. I still don't understand why people have a problem with it. Angel needed to die, and there was no indication that Willow would ever succeed at such powerful magic.
@@jossland1628 I disagree. My issue is Xander blatantly lied, and in addition, did not pass on the message Willow trusted him to pass on. He took it upon himself to know what was best, he did not trust Buffy to do what she had to do.
@@laurenfrey873 Because he has his eyes on the bigger picture, where both of them don't. Xander is objectively in the right- you don't gamble the fate of the world on hoping everything turns out for the best. You hedge as much as you are able, and then some more.
@joss land right, and I’m sure his jealousy and the fact that he never liked Angel even when he saved their lives multiple times wasn’t a factor.
I hate this episode.
The time at which the scoobies had a right to be mad at Buffy was at the beginning. At Giles' house they ask her where she was and what happened and she says she doesn't want to talk about it. That's when they had a right to be angry.
But they then spend the rest of the next several days doing absolutely everything they can to avoid dealing with her. Willow skips out on their date in which they could have worked through their issues. When presented with a small group gathering with which they could have gotten everything out they instead decided to throw a massive party so they wouldn't have to talk to her. Buffy then asks Willow and Xander point blank what's wrong and they're both like "it's fine, it's good, we're all great". And after all that they think they have a right to chastise her for not dealing with it?
There's not one ounce of empathy in that last scene. Buffy literally killed her boyfriend to protect her friends and when push comes to shove Willow is angry that Buffy wasn't there to talk about Willow's problems? Wow. Just f*ck whatever you were going through, why weren't you there to deal with more of my crap.
And it doesn't let up either. The conclusion of the episode is Buffy saying "I was wrong." and shouldering everyone else's resentment over her leaving. Not one person bothers to help her shoulder her own feelings over what happened.
For god sakes, Giles is the only one who even welcomes her home.
yes to everything you wrote 🙌🏻🙌🏻
YES. All of this. I will never forgive Xander, Willow, or Joyce for any of this. Seriously, if a friend disappears and finally shows up, I'm going to be asking how they are, making sure you're okay, and only temporarily mad - while making sure they know it's because I was worried about them, not because it left me having to deal with having a boyfriend - for a sentence or two. And I'd actually say I'm glad to have them back! Geeze.
I know RIGHT. I blame Joss and the writers! Buffy didn’t owe anyone anything except maybe to let them know before she left. But she could’ve acted WAY worse after all she went through! She s allowed to make a mistake. THEYRE the ones that should’ve apologized
In buffy’s defense she probably thought, “My own mother kicked me out, so why would my platonic friends want anything to do with me.”
Which IS what Joyce did. Yes she gave Buffy an ultimatum, but when the choice is get kicked out and save the world, or stay and let the world die, saving the world is the obvious choice. A lot of fans seems to forget that and think Buffy just left because she felt like it. Also, what was ultimately different with last years summer. Sure she ran away to LA, but she left last summer to hang with her dad, who I’m pretty sure actually lives in Los Angeles!!! At least I think so, that’s where her last high school was anyway.
Don’t get me wrong, Buffy’s friends have a right to be upset that she didn’t even talk to them or say bye, but the reasons they gave and the way they were talking to her almost made my eyes roll out of my head.
Everyone always seems to forget one of the last threads that really pushed Buffy over the line. The fact that Angel had his soul back before she killed him. They don't know that and she is beyond afraid to share that with them because of how they felt about what he did without it...
I blame Xander for pushing Buffy over the edge to where she felt that no one would empathize what she had to do since he always wanted Angel to die because he never had a shot with Buffy
@@davidsalazar3840 Oh, yeah, that is completely Xander's fault for lying to Buffy about what Willow said...
@@davidsalazar3840 That's not the only reason he wanted Angel to die...everyone seems to always zero in on that but there's more to it
@@AscendedXSaiyan No, it's pretty much just that. Notice how despite going through the exact same things, Xander was the only one going "he's gotta die, he's gotta die, he's gotta die". I'd argue Willow and Giles had it way worse than Xander given Willow was seconds away from being murdered by him and Giles lost Jenny to him. Despite that both of them were level headed enough to say "returning his soul is the right thing to do". But "forever blinded by his boner" Xander couldn't see past that Buffy chose Angel over him.
For real, I hate everyone in this episode besides Giles and Buffy. Maybe they're sad their friend was gone, or they feel abandoned or whatever. But Buffy's literally depressed and trying to be strong for them, and they all just throw it back in her face.
And Oz. Oz and Giles are arguably have the best intentions; although Oz is maybe a little oblivious in agreeing to have his band play at Buffy's house.
@@stargazer1682 And Cordy - she stands up for Buffy, putting herself in Buffy's shoes - she's just terribly Cordelia as she's wearing them.
@@stargazer1682 no way is Oz oblivious. hes one of the most thoughtful and insightful people in the group and is dating Willow and has listened to what shes been thinking and feeling all summer long. theres NO WAY he is ignorant of the fact they are using this big party to avoid her.
@@unrelatedcoma He was oblivious to the fact that that might not have been a good idea - because it definitely wasn't. That doesn't make him less thoughtful or insightful. I would wholeheartedly disagree with any suggestion that he offered this as an intentional diversion or deflection, to make it easier to avoid Buffy, or avoid the discomfort people were feeling; because that would be a dick move for him to consciously do.
@@stargazer1682 hes there while theyre planning it. the tone of the room is pretty awkward while even discussing if they will attend the dinner, and then they clearly talk it up to a party to avoid. he lists the different levels of parties to confirm what theyre after and agrees to bring his band.
he knows what hes doing.
“Buffy can not catch a single break” would be an appropriate name for the show actually
The Scoobies taking over the Summers house with a rock band and an enormous party was so damn rude. Her friends are mad at her for leaving after she got kicked out of her house, expelled from her school, framed for murder, shot at by police and had to murder her true love... And Willow's like "But I'm dating a boy. Boo-boo," Get bent, Scoobies. #TeamBuffy
They don't know that Angel got his soul back, and definitely not that Buffy had to kill him after that, in cold blood (I think she would fare much better if she had to just run Angelus through with that sword in fight), but still - the fact that the Scoobies bring that party in her house (which is a big way of avoiding talking to her) and THEN Xander has to audacity to demand that Buffy listens to Willow? They basically showed her that they don't really care about her, about what she went through and about her feelings. What did they expect?
@@hekkoCZ because buffy was all hugs and stuff when xanders mate died.........oh wait. Yh none of them are emotionally open rn
to me i feel everyone is in the right in their own way. like buffy lost her support system, killed angel, all that. willow and xander lost a friend they grew close with and then had to take up her responsibility as a slayer in sunnydale. both sides had a hard time over the summer. of course buffy did have a muuuch harder time, doesnt mean the hard time willow and xander had means any less to them. plus theyre teenagers and teens r dumb and selfish in some ways.
but either way, totally see ur point!
@@hekkoCZ It's a real stretch to say that they don't care about her because they had an argument. They are not telepathic they just know she ditched them . All of them were in the wrong but people say irrational things when they're angry. If this show was made today most of the people would probably want the title changed from Dead man's party to Healing encounter group .
@@k.h.691 Buffy get a pass on everything. Because you know. She Buffy!
This episode is chock full of hoot with just a little bit of nanny!
😂😂🤣😂🤣🙌🙌🙌
wow. this is one of the times im ONE HUNDRED PERCENT on Buffys side and nobody elses.
I sure HATED Joyce and Xander and Willow in here SO bad! There are 2 sides to every story!..
I get her friends being mad that she left and didn't at least call and let them know that she was okay and that she needed space, but she was going through a lot and they didn't seem to take that into account at all when they were venting at her. As for Joyce, I have a real problem with her being angry at Buffy for leaving when she told her not to come back. It's a thing I see in fiction too often, where a parent gives their kid an ultimatum like that, and I can't stand it.
maddwitch In their defense, we know what happened. They know nothing but that Acathla didn’t open and Buffy is gone. That’s it. They don’t know Buffy killed Angel after getting his soul back. For all they know Buffy killed Angelus in a brutal fight before Acathla was activated.
@@flee4342 Honestly never thought that even mattered much (him turning back to Angel). I understand why they did it for the show, and yeah, it would suck WAY worse. But they all should have felt awful for her anyway, even thinking it was Angelus she killed. It was still the body and face of her boyfriend, that she would never get to see again. I think that still merits a great deal of compassion and respect towards what she's going through. Could you imagine doing that to the body of your loved one if they were possessed or something? Yikes.
I side more with Buffy on this whole thing, but I do get where her friends were coming from. I've known addicts who disappear for long periods of time and while it's not like Buffy's situation, that stress and worry of not knowing where your loved one is is the same and it's terrifying. You don't know if they're dead, if they hurt themselves or hanging around someone who's hurting them. Pretty much every terrible situation goes through your head and there's nothing you can do about it.
@@flee4342Willow did the SPELL for Angel to get his soul back. Xander also knew about that. They both knew there was a CHSNCE Buffy killed the real Angel, but of course they never shared that info with her….
@@insertname193it doesn’t justify them staring a fight over it though. 2 wrongs DONT make a right. They have NO right to judge Buffy when she was literally going through the same thing with Angel. Thinking she’d never see him again. Plus we ALL do weird things after losing a loved one. Xander is one to talk. He cast a spell after Cordy wanted to break up. Or when Giles wanted to kill Angelus. When we lose a loved one we’ll do things out of our character. Instead of complaining, they should’ve been grateful for her sacrifice saving the world…
It makes sense Buffy is no longer a suspect in Kendra’s (RIP) murder because there were witnesses at the crime scene
The only plot hole is the charges she would have had for resisting arrest and assaulting an officer. But, I’m sure Sunnyvale PD would have mad a deal for trying shoot an unarmed teenaged girl in the back.
@@BOBDOLEATEMYSOUL and let's face it, Buffy is not Kendra ...
@@razycrandomgirland Kendra is not Buffy. She died twice (sorry spoiler) and was able to come back. But was Kendra? Nope. Shame I loved Kendra . One of my fav characters..
The scoobies acted stupidly. They unilaterally decided to have a party at Buffy's house and then basically ignored her. They basically took no notice nor care of Buffy's feelings and the worst of them was Xander, starting with the scene outside Giles's apartment.
They were all so passive aggressive like she’d slighted them somehow needing to go away after everything that went down. The more times I watch, the more I think they become really shitty, self absorbed friends. Any time Buffy messes up, they turn on her. It’s the gaslighting that bothers me the most
Yeah this episode always felt odd to me, many characters feel like they're acting slightly out of character. Maybe not Xander, he tiptoes the line of tough love and being an ass quite often but Willow.
I think they meant well. It didn’t turn out like they planned but I think that just speaks to the awkwardness. They still love Buffy but don’t know how to deal. Just my thought.
@@4everbuffylover Everyone's a shity person in BVS. Except maybe Giles.
@@4everbuffylover Totally agree but maybe the one exception is season 2 premiere when Buffy treats them badly (albeit for pretty understandable PTSD reasons) and they forgive her pretty much instantly?
I don't think I ever got over how horrible Willow and Xander were after this episode. I still went on to enjoy them, but I've gone through an event like Buffy did at the party and I was never really able to forgive my family for it. Seeing Willow, Xander, and Joyce do something so similar stuck with me. I haven't forgiven them for what they did to Buffy.
Omg same here, but it happened with friends instead of family. I guess that's why it hits too close to home.
Willow and Xander were putting their lives on the line killing vampires without slayer strength in Buffy's absence . They had no idea if she was living it up somewhere. If they'd welcomed her back with open arms it would have been unrealistic.
@@lenr112 but basically cornering her up into an argument in the middle of a party (that she didn't want) full of strangers was such a shitty move (specially after she tried to talk to them but they ignored her). Also them becoming the "slayerettes" was their idea/choice, Buffy didn't ask them to do it. And the council could have sent some people there if the vampire/demon activity increased that much.
@@JordiVanderwaal She'd had schnapps. That kind of thing would happen at a party if my mom caught me packing to leave . I guarantee it would.
Yeah I empathize with Joyce that's her daughter, but Xander and Willow here can fuck right off. It's realistic though, too many people don't realise the "stern talking to" approach isn't the way to get through to everyone, sometimes comfort is the thing that a distressed person needs, not a lecture.
Everyone's wardrobe (but Buffy's specifically) got so much brighter/more colorful this season.
Vampires are attracted to bright colors (not sure if the episode that establishes it has happened yet). Since Buffy has been slaying vampires for a year and a half in sunnydale, there's less vampires and it is safer to wear bright colors.
Season 1: Buffy dies
Season 2: She manages to connect with Angel on a level she can’t with anyone else. He loses his soul which she blames herself for profusely and ultimately has to kill him (Xander’s fault).
Season 3: “Look I’m sorry your honey was a demon, but most girls don’t hop a greyhound over boy troubles” - Xander
Omg! Yes
SPOILERS
That turn of phrase from Xander is making me see certain events in season 6 in a whole new light!!!! 😒
‘boy troubles’ is way different to your vampire boyfriend losing his soul and killing people
Joyce: "Buffy, you didn't give me time. You just dumped this thing on me and you expected me to get it. Well, guess what? Mom's not perfect, okay? I handled it badly. But that doesn't give you the right to punish me by running away.
"
This is not an apology, Joyce.
@@corvus1970 Exactly.
Jaycie Victory True!
Listening to Joss Whedon and Martin Noxxon speak so in depth about the characters and their plans for them I can almost believe they had some season 6 ideas in their heads regarding how certain characters may change
Actually their fighting didn't resolve anything because zombies showed up before they could talk it out. They simply stopped arguing because surviving was obviously more important. This episde annoys me and Xander and Willow in particular.
Buffy should just have left when the Zombies attacked, "well help yourself if you now are so capable and no longer need me around" :-)
Henrik Holst well yeah, it wouldn’t be the first time she just leaves them.
@@Henrik_Holst Buffy wouldn't let anything happen to her mother
@@Marvel_vs_Capcom84 I never said that she would, just that part of me sometimes think that she should.
@@Henrik_Holst if you and you're mother had a fallen out as upset as you maybe with her you would not leave you're mother in any immediate danger either
I love whenever you dive into the meaning of technical decisions on this show, its one of my favourite things to pick apart in movies and TV in general, I wouldn't complain if you dove into it more every episode!
OH MY GOD THEN YOU TALK ABOUT HEREDITARY, WHAT AN INCREDIBLE FILM
I enjoyed Giles the most out of this episode. I always struggle with Xander as a character. I get that he's a teenager boy with all that entails...but so much of his attitude and what he says have never landed with me.
I like this episode but it always pissed me off how they all kind of avoided Buffy for the entire episode, specially at the party when she was TRYING to talk to them (they weren't even interested, like she's been gone for three months, and you can't even stop pretending you're watching your boyfriend play to have a decent conversation with your best friend??), until she's overwhelmed by all of it and tries to run away, then they lash out at her. I get what the writers were trying to do in this episode, but I hated it. The action, ending and zombie theme was great though. Giles had definitely the best lines in this episode.
And tbh, I think some of us have also had an experience similar to what Buffy went through at that party, that's why it's so relatable and infuriating. xD
So much "Yes" to your Quote of the Day!!
One of my favourite Buffy quotes, along with "Hey, Ken, wanna see my impression of Gandhi?" etc.
One of her best lines!!!
"Throwing a party because Angel's dead" as a prediction made me lol.
Loved that you went in-depth on this episode. I think it gets overlooked because of the underwhelming zombie MOTW. This one's all about the characters and it's great. Plus the scene in the library with Giles' cat is comedy gold.
No, not overlooked. Purposefully avoided because it pisses people off
Its not his cat :D!
Giles made this episode.
Yep. YEP. Still pretty much hate Xander and Willow in this episode 😤😤
Love how they all pile on Buffy at once. Nothing like taking over a friend's house without permission, forcing a party on her when you know she's traumatised and then all of you yelling at her and humiliating her in front of most of the school she got kicked out from. ARGH.
Honestly, Giles is the best thing about this episode. The Scoobies all ganging up on Buffy like that just makes me upset. So little understanding about the trauma she went through.
Yes. VERY insensitive
They’re all a bunch a hypocrites! As of they’d be ANY better if they had Buffy’s crazy life
They’re just as human as she is
This episode pisses me off so much! The gang unfortunately was unknowing of what was going on with Buffy, but they could have been more gentle and kind. Yeah, okay, Buffy ran away, but you don't have to give her hell for it. Like step back, and give yourself a self-reflection guys. You're not perfect either. They were all so selfish in this episode. Loved your reaction. Always makes a bad day better.
I just don’t get why they were so HOSTILE like she killed their puppy or something. They were so aggressive and rude. Why would she want to stay when everyone is being so distant?
your user name is both hurting my heart and bringing me immeasurable joy.
@@4everbuffylover Really? It's pretty easy to understand why they were hostile
JustinJusticeTV not really
@@4everbuffylover They all went through yet another life or death experience, lost some people close to them from Angel, Buffy takes off everyone's worried about her, gone for who knows how long without so much as a letter....and BOOM she randomly turns up and expects things to be normal?
If your best friend, or a family member just up and left randomly and didn't speak to you or anything for x amount of time, and you're constantly worried about them, are they ok? Where are they? What's going on? Do they need help?
Only for them to randomly turn up...would you rush to forgive them? Or would you avoid them for a bit? Most would lean to avoiding them...making them earn back the trust and everything else they left behind. It's very realistic.
This episode kinda gets on my nerves. The “characters have an issue and they aren’t talking when they should talk about it” plot line is one of the worst. Thankfully, Sarah’s performance in the living room during the party and throughout the episode really made up for it.
This episode highkey pisses me off.
same i would skip it on rewatches if it wasn´t for the humor with giles.
I think worst episode of the season.Don't be mean to Buffy! From E03 till the end of the season, every episode is perfect.
@@reesebn38 Gingerbread.
It sucks that this isn't a BAD episode at all but how much they piss me off warrants me skipping it usually. It's not worth putting me in a bad mood.
The only one doing things rights and getting where Buffy is at the moment, is Giles. Joyce annoys me, but I can understand her. Xander and Willow are idiots. And we're used to Xander being one, but Willow's attitude is really disappointing.
Joyce disappoints me more than any of them, because she's Buffy's Mother. Once again, she fails to own up to her part in Buffy leaving, and just deflects.
Xander being an idiot is hilarious as he's usually the heart of the Scoobies.
@@AscendedXSaiyan "Xander is the heart'' that I never get at all. If he's the heart, he sure is an unempathetic one. And it's obvious Xander's an idiot here because 1) He blows up on her AFTER Joyce yells at her so... he chimes in! wow 🙄 2) He told Buffy "Kick his ass" to make Willow take his side and so basically Buffy thinks her friends were rooting for her to kill Amgel... How do you expect Buffy to tell her friends: 'Gee, you guys have no idea what it's like to kill Angel when he got his soul back... and I can't even get back to school 'cause of the murder charges. Yeah police thought I killed Kendra. Oh and when I was in LA, I almost got stuck in some time warp place where I'd probably end up looking old and forgotten... and on top of that, Mom now knows I'm a Slayer. But she decided to kick me out and now I'm back. So, thanks so much for being understanding.''
The thing is , Buffy IS always focused on her thing. And a lot of the time she treats them like sidekicks , not friends. Her friendship is kind of one-sided a lot of the time. I don't think it is her fault. She has a huge responsibility to focus on. But it still causes hurt feelings and problems.
Willow is worse than Xander by a long shot. It isn't even a contest.
Did you notice that Giles is the only 1 to say welcome home. The joy on his face in the kitchen is sweet, he is the dad she always wanted. The others didn't seem that enthusiastic. The party made me feel really uncomfortable. When your still trying to get to grips with things a house rager isn't something you want to get involved in.
It really shows that Giles is the only one to run away from home before and come back. He gets what Buffy will be feeling better so can push aside his own wants to push for answers or point out how worried he’d been and just be there for her.
If I were in the writers room, Buffy would have an inexplicable hatred of cats leftover from her time as a rat. 🐀
It's been a while since I've seen it, but from memory the sound effects (we don't see it on screen) imply that the cat came off second best in that confrontation.
She does like cheese?
Yes, she does! ☺️
An episode about how the things we bury have a tendency to come back and ruin the party, and also how the things we bury have a tendency to come back and ruin the party.
The title is from an Oingo Boingo song.
Aghhhhh one of my most hated Buffy episodes. Buffy was kicked out! KICKED OUT! And then she comes back and everyone treats her like horseshit, and then get mad at HER for “burying things” when it’s THEM who were avoiding taking about it!!! AAAAAAGH Buffy deserved so much better.
Xander says you can't bury things, they'll just come back worse and the dead things came back worse - giant metaphor
Pointing out foreshadowing can still spoil things. You're putting something into the thought process that wasn't there before. Yours isn't bad, but if a lot of people point it out it becomes a spoiler.
Buffy: *finally comes home after hitting rock bottom several months ago*
Willow: *selfish whining*
Xander: *selfish whining*
Joyce: *selfish whining*
Cordelia: "Um, guys, Buffy has been through some serious shi-"
Willow, Xander, and Joyce: *SELFISH WHINING INTENSIFIES*
I agree. But to be fair we really only got a deep look at how Buffy had suffered from all this. I think the first episode could have been better because of this. I would still take Buffy’s side but it was also kind of one sided.
They could have shown how the Scooby’s were struggling and almost dying because Buffy skipped town more.
Another great review!
I was SO pissed off at Night Hawk this episode. The audacity of him getting in Buffy's face like that when he played a huge role in what went down with Angel and Acathla. Had he delivered Willow's actual message to Buffy like he was supposed to, she might not have had to leave town.
The scene where Giles offered to "convince" Snyder was legit my first time being all "oh daaang Giles! Rawr!" Lmao.
How are you enjoying the hairstyle changes between seasons 1, 2, and 3 so far?
Season 3 is off to a great start but I'm def looking forward to your reaction to the next episode! Thanks again for doing what you do! :)
While Xander's motives weren't right, if he had told Buffy that Willow was working on restoring Angel's soul, she more likely would have held back. Hoping to buy time. It would have been more dangerous and the chances she could have gotten killed would be higher. But more importantly, even if she didn't get killed, knowing Angel could be getting his soul back would not have kept her from having to kill him. Fighting full force with the belief she had to defeat and kill Angel, she was not able to keep him from opening the portal. Holding back she wouldn't have done better at preventing that, even if it didn't make it worse (which it probably would have). So passing the correct message on to Buffy would not have kept her from having to kill him, and she still would have left town.
@@Logan_Baron that wasn't his choice to make. She's the Slayer, not him. Knowing she had options could have dramatically impacted her choices going into that fight. All she had to do was fend Angel off, not kill him. You can't ignore the fact that, retrospectively speaking, had Buffy simply fended off Angelus from the sword for another 10 mins, she never would have had to kill Angel when Willow's spell kicked in. I see what you're saying but I respectfully disagree. I still say to this day that Xander taking that decision away from Buffy was a seriously shitty thing for him to do.
@@fuionochingsung5091
Spoilers under read more to be safe
Plus, Xander does it entirely for selfish reasons. He wants Cordy. He wants Buffy. And as we see later this season, he wants Willow. He's entirely motivated by his own selfish desires. He really wants them all available just for him.
@@fuionochingsung5091 Yah let's get buffy to hold back on a WORLD ending fight, good plan
@@serenaperez5495 We actually don't know what would happen, but Buffy would be paying more attention to what Angelus is doing. Meaning, less likeliness of him ever getting to the sword in the statue. Meaning, less likeliness of having to kill/murder him to save the world, souled or not souled. She didn't know about it, and he got to that sword in about a minute into the fight. Knowing at least might have changed that. We know for a fact that not knowing did not help anything because we all saw it.
Oh Lord. This episode is so painful.
*Braces self*
I'm going in
🙈
"We love people who are able to say what they think! This is coming from a place where 30 year old men can't talk about anything!" HAHA right? I think you're going to find it very refreshing to see all the character development the Buffy characters go through across the seasons.
I love it when you geek out over the camera work lol. It’s refreshing. Many reactors overlook those kinds of things.
Same, I really love that she's noticing these things.
Love the "camera talking", please keep going. And Hereditary is amaaazing, I understand the scene you mentioned (Toni Collette so iconic btw).
I think the message of the episode is that we can't hide the problems, or try to escape without facing It, they always come back. Xander's line for Buffy during the arguing party kinda explains this.
The guy with the chips was in the unaired piot
You can find that pilot on UA-cam
it's quite interesting.
Jonathan has been in a lot of episodes, so far. He's kinda their designated extra at this point. It was about at this time during the first run that I developed my "If Danny Strong ever appears in the credits at the beginning of an episode, Jonathan will die" theory.
Since his acting role on Buffy, he's gone on to have a very successful career as a screen writer, and producer. He's won a couple of Emmys, and wrote the scripts for the last pair of _Hunger Games_ movies.
Alleybox: "why do I have a feeling somebody's going to die and get resurrected?"
Me: hey, can you give me the winning lotto #s 🤣
Aka "The episode where the Scoobies all fail at communicating."
Love the editing/camera analysis - no one else does this!
This is one of those episodes I love and hate at the same time. The stuff with Giles is wonderful, that look he has when Buffy returns with the gang and he's trying not to tear up is so sweet. At the end he goes Ripper on Snyder, so awesome.
But Xander this episode? Holy Hell, he's awful, almost to the point of being out of character.
The Scoobies just don't... talk. It's painful to watch, they bottle up their frustrations then it all comes pouring out in that one party scene.
EXACTLY
It’s called poor communication!
I had a sibling like this..
I side with Buffy on this argument. Buffy experienced everything the scoobies experienced. Plus, even more.
Not only did she have to kill Angel AFTER he got his soul back. She had been kicked out of her house. Kicked out of her SECOND school. She felt guilty about getting her best friends and her father figure hurt, and Jenny killed because she couldn't kill Angel when she had the opportunity. Not to mention Kendra, a Slayer, dying and her realizing that would be her fate as well.
Her best friend from her previous school tried to serve her to Spike. The only teacher, principal, and guidance counselor to believe in her are dead. Her mom was bitten by a vampire. One boy she liked turned into a fish monster after sexually assaulting her.
I get everyone else being mad, but they can leave the life whenever they want. There's only one way out for Buffy. So they can all go suck on a lemon.
I love the way you discuss all the camera angles and directorial stuff. It's not something most reactors even touch on and it really adds a whole other depth to things.. Brilliant observations. I also like how everybody handled things like real people would by doing or saying the wrong things instead of the perfect resolutions which TV shows often give us.
God I love Giles! He is such a daddy! ;)
Giles is the only man who deserves rights
*Giles hotwiring the car:*
*Alley:* OoH GiLeS!
I actually really can't stand this episode. Throwing a party at my moms house after inviting you to dinner is actually grounds for terminating the friendship. Then to make the entire thing about them, acting surprised she wants to leave again after how they treated her coming back, ignoring that she just lost her boyfriend and had to kill him ontop of that - honestly just gross af. These are trash friends.
I have a complicated relationship with this episode. It's hard to watch for me, but everyone is acting completely understandably, even when they do the wrong thing. Ignoring how Buffy leaving really hurt everyone would have been a mistake for the show, in my opinion. I do think Joyce needs to take responsibility for her part, and Xander was definitely a jerk, but Willow didn't want to hurt Buffy but didn't know what to do with her own pain. It's easy to forget, since the show literally revolves around Buffy, but one of the best aspects of the show is how every character feels real, and real people have their own problems and trauma. Again, I barely ever rewatch this episode because it's hard to watch, but I think the series is better for it.
I'm with you on this episode. I especially hate Willow in this one. Willow and Buffy are suppose to be best friends. Willow doesn't act it though. She ditches Buffy and gives her the cold shoulder. Then to top it off she compares her stuff to Buffy's stuff. How are they even close to be comparable? Willow is in love for the first time and practicing magic. Yeah that's close to be wanted for murder, getting kicked out of school, and killing your boyfriend (I know Willow doesn't know it was Angel. It doesn't matter) to save the world. Willow is so selfish in this episode. I know she is a teenager but doesn't excuse her actions and I do wish they were addressed.
Jim C mind you willows problems are things that she CHOSE too. Buffy did not choose to kill her boyfriend, or get kicked out of her home, or out of her school. Willows problems are so petty.
Exactly! The more times I watch this, and a handful of other episodes, the more cynical I am of their friendship. Particularly Willow. She’s SO passive aggressive and selfish. The more confidence she gets, the more self centered she becomes and it bothers me.
@@4everbuffylover I have a hard time understanding why Willow is a favorite character from this universe with her actions in this and previous episodes.
I've been that person to have an argument in the middle of a party, and yeah people acted just like this.
joeychiba22 Same. And to make it worse, we were all drunk. Drunk people arguing about things that are deeply personal to them is really not a good idea. Especially in front of company😬
I don't see that it was so wrong for the gang to speak their minds . It was written to be dramatic but realistically you can understand why it would go down like that . All those people hating on the Scoobies need to live in the real world not a world where everyone says exactly the right thing at exactly the right time .
@@lenr112nothing wrong with speaking your mind but the WAY the didn it was wrong. And the timing was bad too. A party is supposed to be a happy time. You don’t just START an argument. That’s childish even for teenagers. Plus they were SUPER mean to Buffy. Even if Buffy made a mistake, she’s ALLOWED to. She’s human. Plus her friends are no better starting a fight. Two wrongs dont make a right. They’re all hypocrites too. They’d be NO better if the had Buffy’s crazy life. It’s easy to judge someone else when you dont have their problems.
I personally don't really like how Xander and Willow handled the situation. I mean yes they have the right to be mad at her, they suffered from her absence and not knowing if she was alive or dead, but they should have tried to be more understanding. Buffy went throught hell. She had to kill the person she was deeply in love with right after he had his soul back, her mom rejected her and basically drove her to leave, she also has been expelled from her school and on top of that Kendra died so with all of that happening Buffy had the right to have a mental breakdown. Maybe leaving wasn't the best decision to make but, she is alllowed to make mistakes and maybe that it was what she needed at the time to deal with the pain she was feeling. Xander especially should have showed more compassion towards Buffy instead of shouting at her how horrible of a person she makes and how dumb she was to leave. Especially when he says "you owe it to her" well I don't owe you anything actually, I have the right to deal with my shit the way I want to. The only person she owes something to is her mom. To me, Giles was the one who had the best reaction, especially in the next episode he is going to be really helpful to Buffy.
THANKYOU!
Buffy is ALLOWED to slip up just like anyone else! NONE of them would’ve done better in Buffy’s shoes. You can’t have a crazy life like Buffy’s and STAY sane. They’re all a bunch of hypocrites. Xander is ONE to talk about misbehaving after getting hurt by a loved one. In S2, he made a spell after Cordy wanted to break up. It hurt many innocent ppl. Buffy could’ve been WAY worse after all she went through. They had NO mercy in this ep.
I got excited when this initially aired, because my favorite song by Oingo Boingo is "Dead Man's Party" (which I remain convinced was a clever allusion by Joss and team, and if you haven't heard it, look it up on UA-cam. Danny Elfman is a frickin' Academy Award winning composer, and this was him prior to that.) It would have been really cool if that had showed up in the background during the episode. This was a cringe-worthy episode in terms of all the people, friends, family, casual acquaintances, who were so judgmental of Buffy. You said it correctly when you noted that "she just cannot catch a single break." Buffy had been kicked out of school, out of home, had to kill Angel knowing he was back with a soul, had literally been in a hell dimension in S2/E1 "Anne", and she's getting no support from her friends, even in a "party" environment. Willow turning on her was heartbreaking.
That said, Giles came through for her in the end. And indeed, Snider probably never got a single date in high school. And the difference in the theme music is that it lacks that "screamy" part with Willow apparently doing the "scream". Nerf Herder rerecorded it and it is ever-so-slightly better produced (though they were still basically rock and roll to the core.)
They do like references in the titles. "I only have eyes for you" is a song as well. "When She was bad" and "The harvest" are movie titles. I also think that the song "Welcome to the djungle" is refeered to in the title of the first episode. Not spot on, but I think its close enough.
@@erikohman2294 I'm in what I've found to be the minority on my interpretation of "When She Was Bad." There is an old children's poem:
"There once was a girl, who had a little curl
Right down the middle of her forehead
And when she was good, she was very very good
But when she was bad she was horrid"
But that is what immediately struck me when I first saw that episode back in the day, your interpretation is in line with other commenters that I've seen on reaction channels.
@@kendavis8046 Wow thats surprising to me. I percieve it to be the other way around. Either way Im assuming that both references are intended.
This episode always makes me feel less bad about highkey hating Xander lmao
SAME….
I always hated how they all ganged up on her. It is their right to bust her on trying to go it alone, since the Scoobies are her unique strength that other slayers didn't have, but none of them understand the burden she carries.
As much as I love Will, this episode shows my main problems with her - her need for Buffy to carry Willow's emotional burdens, or for Buffy to act emotionally in certain ways (like in 'I Only Have Eves for You' - why aren't you ready to date again, Buffy? date, date, date!). Of course supporting each other is an integral part of any friendship, but people aren't always in a mental state where they can support others, no matter how strong the relationship.
And when they are attacking Buffy for her actions and that she's not talking to them - why would she open up when they're coming at her from all directions? People talk when they're ready, and creating a hostile environment does not help allowing oneself to be vulnerable.
[rant over :)]
Go watch season 2 and notice how much Willow unknowningly rubs it in Buffys face that she doesn't have anyone choices in life but to be the slayer.
Exactly. Adding fuel to the fire is NEVER the right choice!..
Came here specifically to see the reaction to Giles and his amazing quote!
The most enjoyable thing about watching a reaction to this episode is reading the hysterical (in both senses) outpourings of many of the posters it attracts! :)
Agreed , Almost as entertaining as the episode . It's an argument clearly many of these posters have never had one. It's not the apocalypse big deal .
I forgot just how awesome Giles was this episode.
Buffy left because she had to kill the love of her life to save the world. She was crashed by grief and had to be on her own for a while which, in my view, is completely justified. I don't believe that Buffy 'was in a wrong' here. Of course her friends and her mom would react that way as from their perspective she shouldn't have left, but as she said it herself, they wouldn't understand how she felt and what she's been through.
EXACTLY
If THEY had Buffy’s crazy life, they would’nt even have lasted as long. They’re hypocrites
I'm glad you brought up the camera shots. Cinematography/camera work/editing are all a huge part of the narrative and a lot of reactors don't touch upon this.
OH, and I really like your film-making talk! Keep breaking down the angles, and interpret the cinematography to your heart's content. You have good thoughts and a good understanding, and even though I've watched this show countless times since it first aired (and then), you point out imagery and shots that I've never noticed. Thank you! Keep it up! SOOOO cool! :)
Literally needed this, just moved into University and we aren't even allowed to speak to the neighbours and its quite depressing. Never been so glad for a UA-cam upload
aw man im so sorry! glad to help in some way. i have some friends that are going thru that right now, but i cant even imagine :( hope it gets better!!
@@alleybox thx
@@alleybox IDK if you'll ever read this. But I graduated 2 days ago with an honours degree. Still watching the channel and was binging some old buffy reactions (I've been re-watching the show) and came across this.
One of the facemask I ordered says Do you like my mask? Isn't it pretty? It raises the dead!' Also you edited so much out I have to watch full reaction for sure! I have that shirt, was the first Buffy shirt I got!
broo i need a face mask like that
and lol, yeah i edit out anything where i dont make a comment/joke so its not super boring and just me staring haha
Ah this was obvious when I think back, I should have expected this to be on the quote card, always nice to see what you choose :)
Late to the party but this episode always upsets me. I hate when they gang up on Buffy instead of sitting down rationally or keeping it to one-on-one confrontations. Buffy can't catch a break
THANK YOU. SAME HERE..
Buffy in the wrong? Go back and look at her last interaction with each of them. We have Xander's rant about Angel. From Willow she got "kick his ass" (she didn't actually say that, but Buffy doesn't know that). Cordelia's "he only comes after us" and Joyce's "don't even think about coming back." (And why, Joyce, are there only consequences for Buffy's actions. Maybe own up to some consequences for saying something like that rather than brushing it off as "handled it badly.") Note: there are reasons Joyce was kept out of the loop, but that's back-story not revealed until much later in the show so I won't say any more on that here.
Then, she's gone through something that's emotionally destroyed her. Given the above, can she expect any interaction with any of them that wouldn't make it worse. The only person who might possibly support her--based on what she knows--is Giles, and given the opposition from everyone else, that's a mighty thin reed to hang on.
And when she gets back, her so-called friends have nothing to do with her.
And then she overhears her mother saying having her back is worse. Is it any wonder she started packing again. And that leads to her so-called friends ganging up on her.
The Scoobies really come across badly here.
I'm so excited for you to watch this season! It's one of my faves and I, personally, believe this is the season where Buffy is really Buffy.
If I was Buffy, I'd take a vacation from all this too. Xander really got on my nerves in this episode.
Always hated Xander…
I really liked your cinematic analysis about this 2 scenes, it's nice to learn somthing new.
Dead Man's Party got me into buffy on another level, so emotionally invested in the group by the end of it. Much happens. The episode actually builds up a scary sense that they're gonna drift apart or not be the same as a group
We stan one (1) big hearted, bad ass librarian 💖💖💖
I'm sorry dingoes did that to your offspring
I'm starting get excited everytime I see you've uploaded a new video. Love watching your reactions 😍
I love your analysis of the shots :) when I watch stuff I like to think about things they're doing with music and visual choices, I just don't know a lot about it.
Yes with talking about the camera shots and cinematography!
My quote of the day is my favorite quote! Way to go Alley!
xander and willow got their feelings out but buffy didn't bc they kept cutting her off honestly
Yah it was hard to watch..
Okay, can I say...I'm LOVVVVING the Joyce appreciation! 😊
I love this episode. And I love your reaction! So glad you are genuinely into this series, just like I knew you would! The third season was definitely a great turn for the series.
I hate this ep, can’t believe you love it but to each their own. I’ll say the acting is very well done…
This is one of my two most hated episodes in the entire show. I hate so much how they treat Buffy.
Though "do you like my mask, isn't it pretty? it raises the dead. pfft Americans" is one of the best lines of the whole series
I feel like the symbolism in this episode is that, when it comes down to it, the important thing is that you all pull together and fight the good fight.
It didn't matter that those people were dead; they still rose and marched together to find the mask.
Even though the Scoobies were all fighting and angry when they were bombarded, that immediately disappeared and they knew it was time to get to business to save the world.
i would've loved even more like what u said about hereditary. just an awkward dinner party like they had planned that leads to argument where all the scoobies explode their feelings
I love season 3. But this episode is perhaps the lowest point of the season. Glad we can just get it out of the way and move on to the better stuff
*cough* Band candy *cough*
(I’m pretty sure she’s past that episode by now so it’s not a spoiler)
Next episode.Faith, Hope & Trick.
TommyJ. Such a gooood one
AMEN brotha. Hated this ep. Her “friends” suck..
Dingoes Ate My Baby is actually a real band called Four Star Mary and the album is called Thrown to the Wolves whaich has all the songs that Dingoes perform on the show and yes it's on UA-cam to listen to
yup! started listening to them on spotify
Next episode really kicks things into high gear. Can't wait for the reaction.
the conversation between buffy and willow at the end of this .... is the best part of the episode
When Giles has RIPPER MODE: ON you can't not become instantly pregnant. Shit this man makes me feel stuff
Never stop dabing in your intro its iconic and makes you stand out
First, this is an episode I consider on my top ten worst list or at least top fifteen
I always found certain things about the group's anger at Buffy odd.
Two of the three members, Xander and Joyce, are angry despite playing parts in the reason Buffy left.
Joyce kicked Buffy out (I have seen people argue that Joyce didn't mean it, but it didn't stop her from saying it to a teenager who was in a headspace to believe her. Then in this episode she says to Pat that it was better when Buffy was gone. Not knowing about Buffy's calling no longer matters as Buffy once again heard another phrase that, in her mind, was no better than, "If you walk out of this house don't even think about coming back."
Xander's phrase of "Willow said kick his ass," blames Willow, severely limited Buffy's front line of battle in _Becoming_ and shows he doesn't trust the progress Buffy has made from _Innocence_ until _Becoming._ This is what Xander should have trusted: Buffy's mapped out progress from "give me time" in _Innocence_ to "I'm done waiting" in Becoming Part 1 (She wasn't ready in _Innocence,_ but despite that she didn't allow werewolf's to become problems in _Phases, I Only Have Eyes for You[this episode is also when she forgave herself],_ and _Go Fish._ She studied Angelus in _Bewitched Bothered and Bewildered._ She saved Giles from trying to "get himself killed" in _Passion,_ which is also when she put aside her emotions of grief. She even became overeager to kill him in _Killed by Death_ before she was ready to kill him in _Becoming Part 1). Buffy has more right to be angry at him in this episode. She just doesn't realize it.
Willow didn't play a role in why Buffy left, but ignoring her lunch date out of anger only to be upset that Buffy isn't talking to her is dumb, as Buffy definitely would have told her at the lunch she ignored.
Then, the group as a whole throwing a party just so they wouldn't have to speak to Buffy, despite the fact that they haven't even tried. Buffy had everything taken away from her in _Becoming._ School, boyfriend, family, enemy turned ally turned enemy in Spike, and her friends. By the end of this episode her friends still haven't won me back over to Buffy's good graces. Xander made Buffy believe Willow was just as against Angel as he was by saying "Willow said kick his ass," and yells at her for the outcome. Joyce kicked her out and yells at her for the outcome. Buffy knew Oz would just silently side with Willow as he is shown doing in this episode. Cordelia and Buffy don't have a friendship as shown by Cordelia trying to put Xander in Buffy's shoes and Buffy not liking it. Giles in this episode is researching and is the only one who seems glad to see Buffy and handles it well. People can criticize Buffy for running all they want, but the way they handled her return makes their complaints and arguments easily dismissable.
I have never been a fan of this episode.
How many people died because buffy couldn't stake the corpse wearing her boyfriends face?
@@ronaldfasshauer4390 That doesn't have anything to do with why Buffy left or why she attempts to do so again in this episode. That argument takes place in _Revelations_ and the Scoobies don't even argue that point while yelling and "I statement"-ing her. If they want to say or yell at her about that...well, they never do. Xander indirectly in his anger references it periodically, but his anger is also jealousy over Buffy choosing choosing Angel (and has nothing to do with Angelus, so much as Angelus has given him an excuse to yell and rant), but not enough to allow her a defense. At this point the Scoobies don't know why or seem to care about why she ran.
@@Buffy8Fanexactly!
They should’ve ASKED Buffy MORE questions! Instead of jumping to conclusions!..
@@lessismore8533 But that would have involved talking to her and they explcitly state their refusal to do so. I 🙄 at The Scoobies.
The idea of zombie cat getting the mask reminds me of that movie where the dog got the mask. Now I’m trying to remember which came first, this episode or the Jim Carrie movie.
Edit: looks like The Mask came out first in ‘94.
Anyone else binging Buffy reactions. Love this ❤️❤️
That moment where the zombie picks his head up off the gurney and leaves slimy goo and brain matter behind and you hear and see the fabric stick for a moment will forever be in my top 3 grossest Buffy moments
While I agree that it's a bit frustrating to see the characters not properly communicate until the end, I really appreciated how awkward, messy, and uncomfortable it feels, because that's exactly how a group of people dealing with this situation would behave (especially teenagers who're still figuring out how to process and express complicated emotions).
Yes. Lack of communication comes with being young, dumb and immature…
The thing is, they don't know about her having to kill Angel AFTER he got his soul back, that's the part they don't get which is why I so feel for Buffy here, everyone is attacking her. Then again they don't know only because she doesn't tell them, but then she's not telling them to not make them feel bad (but Xander kinda deserves to on that front) but also the hearing people say they don't want her around, or feeling like they don't. I dunno, I still was on Buffy's side tho I saw where everyone was coming from, I was still on Buffy's side. They are choosing to be in on the slaying... she doesn't get to choose, she has to do it.
Do they ask her what exactly happened that made her want to disappear ?
Seems people have forgotten, that Buffy left because she just killed the love of her life, Angel, and sent him to hell. She isn't in a happy place right now.
Now, she is the only one that knows this, and others have no idea what she had to do.
I really disliked everyone sandbagging her. They act like she did some huge crime, and now she's being ungrateful. They have no idea just how bad they are coming off.
They know she killed Angel. They should be more sympathetic. Even Xander, who hates Angel, should sit down.
@@joeypotter6051 Yeah, but they don't know that Willow succeeded in restoring Angels soul. That he was his good self again, and that Buffy kissed him, and then killed him, and that action broke something inside of her.
They only think, that she killed evil Angel, and don't understand the depth of her actions.
AMEN. Everyone was a jerk! Xander, Willow and Joyce were the worst..
The closing scene, though--I love it! Buffy and Willow throwing insults! :)