The power move with beautiful women is to... treat them like regular person. Humanizing her and treating her like a real person will always be the right way to go.
Your comment almost sounds like an insult but it truly isn’t. When I was in high school I got humbled real quick when one particular boy turned down my advances. He wouldn’t be the first but he was the last. Ever since then I never saw myself as a guarantee that I can get any man. I still have my confidence but I’m not smug about it. I also take it as compliment when people see me as smart individual (hence being treated like a human being).
I saw through my last ex that there's such a thing as being too pretty. She said in her case it was from being a young girl and getting inappropriate attention from grown men to being an adult and having men hitting on her all the time. She would stay home alone just to avoid situations. And yes, other women didn't like her. So that brings in male friends, which is a whole other set of problems. She knew she had issues from it all.
yes I know about the getting attention at a very young age ...it teaches you that men just want you for pleasure...i remember the feeling even at 12 years old. I also developed early. this is big facts! i still feel that way alot especially in dating but now that I am grown I can see it and brush it off...but it took time
@@PriusTurboSo maybe don't give them the impression that they will be rejected preemptively? Statistically female intuition is pretty good so you're telling on yourself a bit on this one.
Being attractive also means you either get bombarded by attention OR ignored because Idk people assume you slready have someone or they cant talk to you or you wont talk to them
She's on point about men dropping everything, even their wives in some cases to be with you. It's scary to be confronted with that reality all the time.
happened to 3 of my mom's close friends, it's even more if I include the cases from friends and random people around me, but people will still deny how often that happens lol
Not that it doesn't happen, I'd just say Women are more likely to leave because they found a partner they're more attracted to. Women do things in silence. It's a reality everyone has to go through.
Terrifying. Many women retreat from men, not relish in this experience. I never betrayed a woman in my life; always had women’s back in silence, Bc these realties you can’t talk about. So thanks.
I've dated a few "Hot" women, some beauty pageant princesses and models. There is no telling of their personalities until you talk to them. But you can break them down into two categories, as you alluded to. 1. They feel ZERO need to "work" on anything as they can move on at the slightest hint of displeasure. One in particular is insanely beautiful still unmarried, no kids, and hitting the wall hard. 2. The other ones were unbelievably chill and down to earth, and I feel this needs saying, they had active fathers in their lives. Make of that what you will. But my point is go and talk to the pretty women you will be instantly dismissed or find an incredible woman for a life time.
Yeah I dated a few billionaires and man alive were they difficult to be around. I only stayed until I got enough diamonds and Porsches and then I was out. Unsurprisingly they're all old and miserable now and regretting how they treated me.
Being beautiful can be very lonely until you use it to your advantage. Other women dont want to be your friends bc they dont want to stand next to a beautiful woman. And the men that go after a beautiful woman are extroverted narcissists. All the wrong men. So its highly isolating on both sides. Then in your 40s you rise to the top and gain respect because you were highly isolated youve mastered many more skills other than beauty and people see you beyond your beauty❤ And that thats where my life has become miraculous. The older I get and age the happier and more confident I am I do not see it as a power loss because I have learned so many skills in my isolation that now I have more overall contentedness and not worrying about if other women see me as a threat or dont like me bc of the face I was born with. i also feel free to not wear makeup and it, and its super liberating, and so I still get alot of attention because now my spirit is liberated.
If you are pretty, hangout with pretty women like you, why they hangout with average women i dont understand? Pretty women dont hangout with pretty womens because both of them have the same personality and compete agains each other.
Not only that but they love seeing you fail or fall. There is this passive aggressive from most girls towards you. Often you will not be invited along because they are afraid that you will over shine them.
I had a friend that was gorgeous. I invited her as a friend to one of my family/friends dinner. Almost all d men were a tad bit different, except for my FIL. All were nice and respectful, but a tad bit reserved. Overall it wasn’t a whole lot different; but somewhere I felt a little embarrassed for her. Like I had betrayed her. Next time I was hesitant, because I felt uneasy that she might get embarrassed or offended by noticing what I noticed around d same group. Don’t automatically assume hatred or jealousy. They could b protecting u, out of love and respect. U r being ugly if u automatically assume such negativity. In which case, reconsider other people’s behavior around u. It may b because they felt that negativity.
Yep, I had a friend admit that they didn't invite me on trips was because I would take all the guys. While I was the only one that was in a relationship. It's so sick.
The worst part is - as a successful and beautiful woman, other people don’t believe all the crazy experiences you make with (unfaithful) men or jealous/envious women, unless they witness it first hand. Because either you come across as super arrogant or they are secretly hating, so they gaslight you. I‘m glad I have loyal friends who accept me for who I am.
I heard of a female hairdresser in Portland Oregon who purposely gave an attractive woman a terrible hair cut. I guess she didn't want repeat customers.
When I feel jealous of a woman, I use it as “free therapy” to identify what they have that I want. Are they fit, are they active, do they make a lot of $. I use the dark feelings to identify what I want to grow in myself. I make over 100k, workout, and have a business because of motivating goddesses that I had jealousy towards. When I feel jealous my brain get the message from my heart that reads “there is a role model”.
Same! This is a great comment. It's good to do this with all "triggers" honestly - we are often triggered by things for a reason. With envy in particular, there's usually something about the person that I admire but for whatever reason feel I don't have (sometimes we do have it and just don't know it).
Yes girl. This is exactly what I do too. Where do I feel jealous? Bc that’s something I desire in my shadows that hasn’t come to light yet. Sink into it… feel it, and then acknowledge it as a positive thing
I was born beautiful and what I heard all my life was: oh, you are so lucky to look this way. In reality what I experienced and still experience is envy and sometimes pure hatred of women around me including my own less attractive sisters, and toxic men who wants me as their trophy and avenge in case of my rejection. I have not used my look to make it as a source of my income, like models or actresses. I have a pretty normal life, education and job. And indeed I am isolated with no female friends. It doesn’t make me sad though, I have accepted it the way it is. But it is absolutely true what Sadia is saying. Everything I have been thinking about she puts so well in this several minutes analysis. I good movie to watch about this is Malena with Monica Bellucci.
Come be my fake online friend 😂 maybe we could be real but I like other hot bitches … 😂 I only might get jelly if it’s a chick hanging around a guy I am after. I think women need to learn to “hold their own” confidence
I thought I would sound conceited if I say that being beautiful has its disadvantages. I'm glad to hear others say the same. I was more beautiful in my youth. Around 14 years of age, men would hit on me. My parents had to provide me a guardian whenever I went out which hardly happened. I'm now in my 50s, married an average looking guy, have adult kids and still good looking but at least more comfortable in my appearance and not as conscious that I catch attention. I'm leading a very peaceful life.
The only halo effect I receive is that I look like I haven't suffered a day in my life. Women look at me and conclude that I must be married to a 6 figure husband and spend my days laying on the couch and getting mani pedis. Then they go out of their way and want to be the one who makes me suffer. And guys actually end up being disappointed when they get to know me since they had such high expectations of who I was and made up a whole personality for me to suit them.
As an older woman who was ‘hot’ I finally realized that being considered sexy didn’t bring me anything worth having. I now go out of my way to be not hot. I don’t wear makeup, I don’t shave, I don’t do my hair, I don’t do anything that would make me attractive to men. I’ve been much happier.
I feel the same way, but only to a limit. My partner is 20 years younger than me and I appreciate when he looks nice so I try to make some effort, too. But he doesn't care about makeup and likes me being natural and casual, so we get to just be free. We both look best when we're naked anyway, which is only for each other. I reserve 100% of my sexual energy for my soulmate and prefer being kind of invisible out in the world. It took me too long to realize that trying to elicit sexual projection from strangers is really sad.
The no make up thing to me is real beauty, its crazy how a lady with no make up can look MORE attractive than a lady all glammed up. But sadly I am of the mindset, where approaching attractive women is a no no, because what I have experienced in life. Which is supported by this you tube clip
You've hit the nail on its head. I've seen the worst in men. I've been hit on by married men, men with girlfriends in the same room or even right next to them! Strangers wink at me or stare while they are holding another woman in their arms. And plenty of them to a point where I'd wonder if this is what all men do when their partner isn't around. It definitely has made me lose respect for men and yes, I do struggle to trust. Cause I know what men are like with attractive women, it's like there is no moral code, it doesn't matter that they're hurting someone else, it's like they just can't help themselves. And women do see you as an enemy. Oftentimes someone just glances at me and I can instantly tell that she has an issue with me, no words exchanged. This pains me the most cause I am a feminist and I support women, I'd never take another woman's man. But then there are those men who couldn't care less about me, who have their woman and to them I'm just a friend, colleague. It seems that these are the men that see you as an actual human being not a conquest that will stroke their ego. And there are also women that are amazing and couldn't care less about what you look like - they see you for who you are on the inside, not how desirable you seem to men, not a threat. These are the people who I cherish and respect
Everyone gets hit on all the time, married or not, all walks of life. In the regular world we just call it life and accept it. I get hit on all the time by women that are married and it doesn't go any further because theres no need. I know my wife wouldd hit on a handsome guy. I think certain people cant just can't handle it and lose their minds at the thought. That has nothing to do with beauty, it has to do with insecurity and a sense of not having that level of exclusivity that is rare and irrational to expect.
No offence but 90% of the time when men think that women hit on them - we don't. Women rarely hit on men overall. What men read as being hit on is women just being polite or nice - no romantic interest. What men struggle to understand is that women can be nice with no agenda. We'll treat men well not because we want something in return but because we're just (mostly) decent people. Men on the other hand will treat a woman according to how attractive they find her and this is why likely they assume women hit on them when they're just being nice. I've witnessed my below average male acquaintances talk to a gorgeous woman totally out of their league and then brag how she was into them lol She wasn't - as a woman I know that, she was merely polite or friendly. Honestly, it's often quite embarrassing to witness and makes the guy look pathetic but a couple of times I tried to explain it to men they'd literally turn vicious. I guess it strokes their ego lol even when totally delusional. What I'm trying to say is that the women that you think have hit on you mostly didn't. I can hardly recall witnessing a woman hitting on a men altogether let alone a married one. But I have been accused of doing that myself when I was just being nice to someone. But I've seen, heard and experienced married men hit on other women, pursue other women, deceive other women - for their own gain, irrespective of the hurt they were causing. And this is why other women often feel insecure in the presence of someone attractive - cause oftentimes they will have to endure the humiliation of watching this guy make a fool of himself trying to flirt with a woman that isn't even interested @@JoshTheTechnoShaman
I 100% agree with everything you've said here as this has all been my experience as well. @@emm9002 You start losing faith in humanity when all these men in relationships approach you and women don't like you solely based on your appearance. I wish everyone could just be respectful to everyone. If only...
you were absolutely spot on! Specially regarding men thinking they are being hit on by a woman just because she is being polite. I think this is called projection? @@emm9002
"The Psychology of Attractive Women and Jealousy in Relationships" Summary: In this thought-provoking UA-cam video, the speaker explores the unique experiences and challenges faced by attractive women, shedding light on how their attractiveness affects their interactions with men and women. The key points and takeaways from the video are as follows: 1. Attractive Women's Perspective: Attractive women often have different insights into the behavior of men, as they frequently encounter men who are either intimidated by their beauty or excessively lustful towards them. 2. Loss of Naivety: These women witness men going to great lengths to gain their attention, including leaving partners, risking their jobs, and pursuing them relentlessly. This exposure leads to a loss of naivety about men's faithfulness. 3. Suspicion and Jealousy: Their personal experiences can make them more suspicious in relationships, as they may perceive their partners as more sexual or unfaithful than they might be, given their own encounters with men's relentless pursuit. 4. Handling Unwanted Attention: Attractive women may experience persistent unwanted attention from undesirable men, which can be a daunting and potentially unsafe situation. The video advises how to handle such scenarios and seek help if necessary. 5. Positive Attention from Desirable Men: They enjoy positive attention from men they are interested in, such as compliments, smiles, and approaches, which can be exciting and fun. 6. Complex Reactions from Women: Attractive women may face mixed reactions from other women. Some women may react with jealousy and competitiveness, while others might give compliments and engage positively. 7. Building an Identity: To overcome jealousy in relationships, individuals, regardless of their attractiveness, should work on building an identity outside of the relationship, thereby increasing confidence and reducing the fear of loss. 8. Expressing Jealousy: Communicating feelings of jealousy with a partner can be a test of compatibility. The right partner may provide reassurance, while the wrong one may exacerbate the jealousy. 9. Historical Jealousy: The speaker touches on the concept of "historical jealousy," where past experiences may trigger jealousy in current relationships. This video offers valuable insights into the psychological challenges faced by attractive women and provides a thoughtful exploration of jealousy in relationships.
An unspoken bottom line is: all men should work up the confidence to approach beautiful women. Indeed, the ones that usually don't are the ones that can have the healthiest relationships with them, and turn their opinions around when it comes to men.
@@Ben256MB That's true, but as said here, beautiful women are quite used to bold approaches like that. What surprises them is down-to-earth approaches. Men showing them a life and an existence that doesn't revolve around sexuality and beauty. Maybe even men who point out how shallow they are for thinking that!
Here's a novel idea. How about the beautiful woman goes and asks one of these shy guys out for a change? If the wrong type of men hit on her & the right guys don't, how about she stops waiting for life to come to her & makes it happen?
I think another struggle beautiful women have is loneliness. It is harder to make friends with women, and also men will pretend to be your friend and 99% of the time it turns out he just wants to sleep with you. It is very very lonely
I crave female friendship all my life, and male also pretend to friend...it's extreme loneliness..extreme...at some point you move to God and become spiritual 😅😅
As a hot girl, I don’t take men seriously. If he is lustful it annoys me. When a guy talks to me like a person, which is rare, I feel relaxed. It does make me sad because I don’t know who my friends are.
Ive rarely had men talk to me like a person. They always want something from me. I just want to be weird and funny and not some sex object all the time
This is so true and so undertalked about. I have experienced exactly what both of them are talking about so much throughout life. Still to this day. I use to try to tone my looks down so I wouldnt have to deal with it but now that I am older I play my looks up and I just dont care anymore because I know one day I will look back and feel that I took it all granted...
This is where I am. I'm beautiful. I have the right to be beautiful, and it's safe to be beautiful. If people are cool, I'm cool. If not, let them kick rocks.
Do you think men should take their lives because of consistent female rejection? Have you ever interviewed several average men and asked them what their dating lives have been like?
Yes, same. I tone it down or rather am really humble, but as I get older I do want to appreciate what God gave me. I want my daughter to be appreciative as well. I think some people confuse it with pride, it's not.
Unfortunately men are usually scared 2 approach really attractive women. We often think she has tons of options because why wouldn't she? Or we think you're high maintenance or a gold digger and therefore not worth pursuing
Yeah, must be the world at fault, not yourself. Make yourself accessible, smile, make eye contact, most of all get rid of "i DESERVE this and that" and like by magic things will change.
@@Ruber212🤣 this one talking about her overweight friends, it’s just another serial heartbreaking killer. She loves being independent with nobody to tell her what to do and at the same time crying about being alone, always playing victim. Every women who is alone, it’s her choice not fate
I'm going through a divorce with my wife (side note, lol). She's usually the prettiest girl in the room by a long shot. She's 36 (looks 26), Asian / Vietnamese born in CA, a strong degree from a UC. Women in the professional world hate her. When they get close to befriending her, they then resent her even more because she maintains her looks with no botox, etc. She has one real girlfriend and that's it. Beauty is a blessing and a curse. But I'm sure she'd rather be gorgeous than not.
You are the 1st woman that Ive heard actually make some sense of the psychology of beautiful women. I’ve been hit on by all kinds of men my whole life. I don’t trust any men as you say because they have shown the worst of themselves around me. So disturbing and difficult.
Yeah they struggle so much... especially on OnlyFans (OnlyFools). Men are willing to give them almost anything for nothing in return... What an incredibly hard life.
@@pravoslavnibalkanci right honey, now go do you pretending you are a victim of society, nature, weather, patriarchy, cosmology, cosmogony, cosmetology and ocean plankton.
This is one of the best videos that I have seen on UA-cam-and it is spot on. If you are also intelligent as well, if really distorts your experience of both men and woman. Thank you for having the courage to discuss this sensitive subject.
This just explained my life. I got very inappropriate attention from men as an early teenager, then in my early 20s I’d have guys chasing me down while having girlfriends. One guy in particular started stalking me and drove by my house frequently for a year. Like the video said, it made me very distrustful of every getting a faithful man (until I developed a relationship with God) I also had no female friends and was always alienated until I went to college. I was also very quiet and shy and I have hearing loss, so people would presume I thought I was too good to talk to them but I was just struggling to keep up with the conversation. I felt like nobody really gave me a chance tbh. People would project whatever opinion they had onto me and that was that.
@@davidalvd yes having a relationship with God changed everything. Having been sexualised too early and for so long, I started to feel more human and allowed to be vulnerable going to church. It was so lovely to see men in there only have eyes for their wives and vice versa. It restored my faith in relationships. I started to see the beauty of interdependence between men and women. Church is the one space I can go where all the women are so welcoming and aren’t malicious towards me.
@@godschild8751 that’s beautiful to read. Yes, I’ve come to realize I might only find my partner in church as well. I’m trying to build a closer relationship with God.
I couldn’t agree more! Thankfully I’ve never felt threatened but other beautiful women, yet most women always felt threatened by me. It’s a crazy journey to live life that way, where you have to constantly prove your worth that’s not associated with external appearances. Also, pretty privilege is not all roses as folks make it out to be. We pay an extremely high price for that “pretty privilege.” Attractive people tend to be sexually assaulted more, adultified, hyper sexualized, abused, and exploited from a young age. People think we owe them our bodies, or that they have a right to our bodies and we are often raised to be boundless, therefore we don’t know better and we allow the abuse to continue from a young age till adulthood. In addition, we not only have to protect ourselves from predatory men, but from predatory women as well. Often we are attacked and not helped by other women. Women only support other women if those women are at the same level as them or lower. Women never support other women who they consider to be above them, and that’s the sad truth. It’s an evolutionary survival mechanism that we haven’t evolved out of it yet. It’s an evolutionary glitch that’s still ingrained in most women’s DNA.
I'm older now but when I was young I had a bad view of men because I got followed in the street phoned up with dirty phone calls, I had creeps coming out the woodwork,now I'm older and no longer get all that I can see all the decent men around me, i never noticed them before because I attracted the wrong type,but the world is full of genuine decent men I see that now.
@keylanoslokj1806 that's rude, what if the only guys who approached were bad men and good guys didn't even try so she never got a chance to even get to know a good guy? How is that her fault? Should she have given her prime to a bad boy? Damned no matter what
I did not grow up being that attractive as I grew up in a very conservative culture where modesty and virtues were prevalent. Now I live in a hot tropical state where you go to the beach and wear sundresses year round and I also now take better care of my looks and suddenly find myself having wayyyy more attention than I ever did in my twenties and thirties. It is confusing for my brain as I grew up around men treating me like a friend or very casually and now men tell me I am sexy or that they cannot be friends with me and I don’t always know what to do with that and end up feeling rejected a lot. I also now struggle to be in a relationship being single again and men have told me they are afraid I will cheat on them as they see I have options. It is a very strange dynamic to be in at this point in my life.
Don't worry, you're at best average, not very attractive, it's just the simps that multiplied uncontrolled in the last 10 - 20 years. The women they are talking about are 8 and above, not 5 and under.
This actually goes against what the video and many comments are saying. You are absolutely correct. A personal taking care of their body and being fit is what makes 100% of people beautiful. In today's world, you can get work that's hard to detect to improve your facial symmetry if, in rare case that's not "competitive," but I think that's actually very rare. But what we have to keep in mind is many women of high status are talking about isn't attractive men in general, but a very small percentage of men. That would be the top 5% to 10%. They are all battling for successful, dominating men who drive the wheels of American Capitalism, not your average Joe. So, being good-looking because you care for yourself isn't good enough for them. They have to assert status through social networking, knowing a lot of successful men and women, being able to dress to standard, and being able to be respected among high-status women. That's a far more complicated game, and women are at that high status are terrified of having to retire from that because they risk losing access to money and status.
that sounds like a really good way to filter low quality men. Those who can't be friends with you only care about your appearance and their lust over it and they don't care about knowing you as a person, and those who think you'd cheat knew they weren't good enough for you.
Jealousy is not always about the fear of them finding someone else, or fear of being replaced, or fear of letting go and being lonely. It can be the fear of wasted time, of trusting and being let down or taken as a fool, the inner knowing of that more and more present tendency of people looking the other side. You can be secure in yourself, but also feel jealous or fearful in a relationship.
Sounds like a lot of attractive women develop fearful avoidant attachment style due to the positive/negative feedback loops they are experiencing. Becoming anxious/fearful avoidant basically bc of the traumas they have experienced in interacting with men or other friendships like female friends who are jealous.
This is spot on my experience with one I dated for a few months. She was a very attractive woman that had a lot of struggle with finding genuine connections and friends. She was horribly damaged from past relationships and friendships and was very vocal that she'd been taken for granted in the past. Lots of demons. It was so uncomfortable to her that I treated her like a human being while we dated. She talked how she was happy and grateful she met me and so appreciative that I saw her for who she was inside. When I brought her out Salsa dancing a couple of times, random guys would go way out of their way to hit on her even though she was there with me, she found it very annoying. She even at one point was unsure if I was 'showing her off to my friends' after we had been connected. It was an important step to begin to introduce her to important and special people to me, but she couldn't tell the difference. We began to trend towards exclusivity and creating a picture of how a potential relationship could look like (which she initiated and pushed for with me) after discussing and landing on the same page, she suddenly ghosted a couple of weeks later with no indication or warning. This was after 3 months of dating, not just one or two dates. She came across as a very insecure and tortured soul as cracks began to reveal themselves more and more as time went on. She openly admitted that she struggled with vulnerability and she became very avoidant when that time came. I wish her well. It was very unfortunate and disappointing and heart breaking experience for me.
I had a tall, very beautiful model friend. She was the arab version of Brooke Shields. It was a circus to be around her. Everywhere we went in Chicago, even on the streets, men were crazy for her. 6 guys surrounding her at one party. I mean, I am cute, petite, blonde, an 8/10 at my best, but the men just dissed me. I was not jealous of her, but got tired of the circus and the men treating me like scraps. This is why other women don't want to stand next to beautiful women cause you look bad in comparison. She was nice but did not invest in our friendship, she just wanted the attention from guys, so I left.
Doesn't sound like she was very nice. If she started turning down the guys and focused on having a good time with the friend she had come out with, you might have stayed. Most of my friends are beautiful and we get attention when we're out, but from different ... demographic groups. Lol. Once the guys realise we aren't there for them, they leave us alone and we can focus on having fun with each other.
I've seen that often with women where one is very attractive and the other not that much. The attractive one gets validation because the vast majority of men prefer her over her friend while the other settles for "scraps", i.e. when two men approach them she is stuck with the less attractive one and she has to bare with him until her attractive friend decides what she wants to do with the attractive one.
People talk about good looking women, good looking guys also have a similar experience. I grew up feeling like a piece of meat, girls wanting to sleep with me but too scared to date me. My neighbor walking up naked to my apartment, sleeping with girls within 3 hours of meeting them, all creating a warped view of women. You talk to a girl you like and she jumps to conclusions, you'll be a cheat, or whatever, makes it hard to date.
very true....as an attractive young man I never learnt the art of seduction...because I was constantly being seduced by women...even now at the age of 60 women are constantly hitting on me..
I believe it. I worked with some good looking guys and other guys treated them poorly. I remember there was this tall white guy who people would define as a 'Chad' and the short Asian male manager would be very cold to him and would always be quick to jump on when he made mistakes. He looked like he enjoyed putting him down a little too much rather than actually helping him. Other guys would try to dominate him and order him around.
Absolutely my experience. I'm 40 now and fit, dress well, still attractive etc and I've only just realized this. I didn't do well with girls and had some random hookups until my early twenties when I took the first hot girl that came along and liked me. Was with her for six years. In my 30s I learned game and unfortunately looking back I think it had the opposite of the intended effect. Game made me come across as a player type and just made girls more insecure and act worse than they may have normally. Still enjoyed myself and dated loads of women but never connected with many of them. Ones I did like got spooked that I would cheat and leave them. Have been pinned as a fvkboy a number of times despite giving no indication. To this day I get treated poorly by less attractive women and men or ignored completely. Women won't indicate they are interested in me and think I'm joking if I have interest in them. The only ones that do are the cougars that have zero reservations. Also in my effort to downplay any player vibes or not be intimidating, I began smiling too often and being too much of a nice guy sometimes which just made people wonder why I needed to do that. I actually had one girl I dated for a few years get very upset with me and tell me "you don't have to do that, why do you waste your time with that stuff" regarding game when I was explaining game tactics to her. No one ever told me I was good looking except for gay dudes and photographers when I was younger. I grew up with a lot of insecurities that I'm sure many others have experienced. I know what it's like to be a hot chick and struggle. Strangely, the girls I get along with best are the hot ones that no one else will speak to.
Being an attractive woman and also being reserved and shy makes it really hard for being around other women and men. I’ve constantly received ideas that I am stuck up, pretentious, I think im too good compared to other women all because i’m quiet and then from men it’s consistent of like trying to get me or get into bed with me. I’m consistently having people trying to pick me apart upon first meeting and it’s just kind of like…… you end up with trust issues and kind of want to stay in the house all day
I love your videos Sadia, they're so so helpful and I can relate to them so much and feel so validated when I listen to you. I agree that being beautiful mostly works against women because most women hurt you out of jealousy and men try to sleep with you and ofcourse all the pretty girl hate that comes with it isn't talked about enough in the era of feminism. The most lonely & unlucky are women who are attractive & vulnerable. Socially & financially. Because then you're the perfect target for jealous women bullies & men who are looking to exploit. Attractive & rich women don't suffer as much as attractive & middle class/ poor women. I'd love more podcasts on how middle class attractive women are vulnerable in so many ways. Lots of love ❤
damn i think i'm considered an attractive middle class woman- I'm screwed huh :') absolutely agree we can be taken advantage of- I had to go through a lot of sh*tty situations that required me to build my own self awareness to protect myself. It's exhausting ngl
I love this woman ! She speaks sooo much sense. When you are a magnet for the cocky, damaged and immature , people pin it all on you. Some women show the shadow in others just by being ourselves. People underestimate the intelligence we have built through people watching. True when she said , we lose our naivety. I so relate to this lady and the way she see's the world. I feel she speaks for me. What we have navigate, maaan ! Annd pretty privilege ? , have we not learned anything from Marilyin Monroe and Princess Diana, nothing , really ? And we know that the rich guys are the most insecure , most likely to be defensive !
I hear you. I was painfully shy when I was younger and found all the attention very difficult to deal with. People assumed I had it all and that I was very stuck up but nothing was further from truth. As for other women they would either quietly admire or be viciously jealous and antagonistic. I actually felt relieved when I reached middle age and could walk down the road without the constant unwanted attention.
It's always advantageous to be attractive than not, it's just a matter how you use it. Se, Sadia, is the full package - beautiful, intelligent, confident (I suppose) and so magnetic!
It’s true, I’ve been seeing this beautiful woman at my gym. The other day we were talking at my gym. I noticed these other women staring at me. I noticed these same girls never looked at me before.
Everything that Sadia has stated I've experienced: Jealous women, disrespectful men, people judging you before they know you. I've been sexually harassed at work, SA'd by a repairman, left at a party by a close female friend (and almost raped) because of jealousy... the list goes on and on. People think it's humble bragging, but it is really isolating and depressing... men use you, women hate you. And all you want is for people to see that you are actually a kind, empathetic and loyal person if they just got past the exterior. I had one ex tell me he only dealt with me because I was attractive. And no, that was not a compliment.
I’m actually more interested in her mind and thoughts more than her looks for me. Interesting conversation into what some women go through which being the middle child and only boy in my family I watch my older sisters go through it.
@@charlesmcgruder4677 Well you see that's the rub!! If pretty wahman don't like the attention they could easily make themselves much much uglier. Try a Sulphuric Acid face wash. Guaranteed to remove your beauty in micro seconds.
The opposite is also true! My son is ridiculously handsome, grown women would flirt/fawn over him when he was just 15! This led him to be very confused and over confident at the same time. It sounds crazy but one time we were in a shop when he was 15 and we bumped into the married woman (mid thirties with kids) of the couple that had bought our house the previous year and the whole interaction went from a polite 'hello, how's it going?' to her flirting and gasping over my son 🤦♂️ At the time it was a bit embarrassing but I was super proud of him. It's only looking back and from subsequent stories of shit he has been through because of his looks I realised it was both inappropriate and ridiculous. He's been abused, threatened and bullied by other blokes (many older) some of whom he didn't even know when out. He's had mates get super shitty with him when they have a new girlfriend and seen him as a threat (he isn't as not a creeper). His girlfriends have usually been super insecure because of how other girls are with him (not encouraged or his fault) so they get angry at him. He's also weirdly been picked on by women because he didn't fancy or make a move on them when they fancied him (which he was completely oblivious to). I'm not saying your heart should bleed because he's insanely handsome as it's obviously helpful in life but he's had a lot of negative shit through it as well. Fantastic looks can be tricky for both men and women.
''one time we were in a shop when he was 15 and we bumped into the married woman (mid thirties with kids) of the couple that had bought our house the previous year and the whole interaction went from a polite 'hello, how's it going?' to her flirting and gasping over my son'' If a 15 year old girl was in a shop and a married men in his 30's with kids started flirting and gasping over her he would be call a dirty old man or a paedophile
@@NealIRC Well girls his own age (20 now) yes, but the weird over the top fawning from women in 30's and 40's is just odd and makes him feel understandably uncomfortable
Jung would say that Hot women are more often staring into the abyss because of the confrontation with male cowardliness and lustfulness and most stay bitter about it.
I am reading these comments and seeing that a lot of people don’t understand the disadvantages of being (conventionally) attractive. For example, you have to get used to being stared at and never spoken to, women you don’t even know treating you with such vitriol, the unjustified assumption that your life is perfect, as though you have a public responsibility to entertain others due to your looks. They are always waiting for your reaction to them. It’s too much.
Kind of true, what I've seen is that very beautiful women get asked out mostly by persistent men confident enough to approach them. That limits the suitors pond, it doesn't mean these are bad men either, they are confident. Then there are men who purposely ignore or treat the woman harshly for no reason at all, as if angry at them, maybe self protection. Btw I am referring to naturally beautiful women, the lucky few who wake up that way w/o accruements or surgery - not the flashy 'hot' women who purposely dress/behave provocatively garnering tons of attention. That lifestyle is a choice, something most women can achieve if they work at it. These naturally beautiful women get harassed a lot, usually starts in childhood/tweens by unstable men not able to control themselves. So for their first interactions in a sxual sense are negative if not frightening. Men want sx from her, are not concerned about her personally so the defensive self-protective walls go up. Most of these women mature , adjust, and deal with it as an asset given to them and don't let it define them. Some do not and rely on it as a get-out-of-jail-free card, these are the ones to avoid.
Although I really relate to these experiences, and do not dress flashy. I feel really ugly. Am I? Oh god. Insecurity actually develops more when all your life everything people comment on is your looks.
I’m a 32 year old female and attractive, but I’m also extremely kind, giving and caring. I’m having so much trouble finding a good partner and I do tend to attract time wasters and creeps. I also seriously struggle with female friends :( please leave me advice :(
Stick with your morals and values. Don't ever compromise, the right man for you will come along when you are busily and happily going about your life. I would like to say it gets easier as you age with female friends, but unless you get married, it doesn't. I personally spend time educating myself, travel, business, and hobbies that my life is full and complete. I have a lovely, very small, tight-knit group of male friends, but I am still working on the female friends' side of things. I won't hold my breath or change either. Good luck, my dear but just stay true to you and I'm sure you will attract a partner and friends in good time. 😊❤
@Sadia Khan This was a really good! The difference between you speaking on this in comparison to others is that you're speaking on this from a licensed professional point of view combined with a lived personal experience as well. Well done, very informative and helpful to many for everyone's understanding. No one has it easy or goes thru life unscathed, regardless if they're an attractive woman or a rich man.
Oh my gosh sadia its amazing how much yk about everything and its that deep and crystal clear. Its like u have been in a effed up relationship and now ur the guru and you know what to do when to do whats going on its crazy
I love this! So true! I guess it explains why I do not have many female friends and I mostly have male. Also I find the only guys I get are the abusive narcissistic type. 😢
a mind-blowing part was when Sadia said that hot gals activate short-term strategies in male minds. this might be my issue, even though I definitely don't perceive myself as hot, just hear it from guys.
Around 4:15: "It's MUCH MORE difficult for a beautiful bombshell-type woman once she hits MIDDLE-AGE!! The plainer women just accept it as reality, but it's much more difficult for beautiful women.. it had AUTOMATICALLY become a large part of their IDENTITY!!" Thank you, Sadia and Chris, for putting out this clip - for VALIDATING something that MANY AVERAGE-LOOKING women, once they get to middle-age, HAVE TROUBLE ADMITTING. It's as if they don't understand, don't empathize with or refuse to admit the differences in this experience!! Thank you so much!! It's worth noting that many "beautiful" women are also intelligent and socially skilled, so they are women with substance and NOT superficial, at heart. Even if they have a lot going for them and/or much to be grateful for, their identity surrounding their looks remains, to a large extent, no matter their age. Especially if that identity was given to them by others on a regular basis throughout the years...
Most average women don't even look after themselves. And I don't consider sexy/brassy/beachbomb women beautiful. Real beauty doesn't completely fade in my opinion.
there are tons of beautiful women 45 and up. someone who dresses nicely and takes care of themselves will always be treated better by society. the lady in the video will be perceived as beautiful even at 70, but instead of hotness, it will be class and grace that are in the foreground. having beauty and style as part of your identity will be beneficial to most.
Being beautiful is sad.. since school you get bullied by other girls & guys just care about the looks. Just like that as life goes , everyone tries to humble you one way or another, bc all they see if your face & not your substance & assume you got a perfect life etc
Don't worry, ugly people get bullied a lot too! Looks are always a thing to certain types of people, good or bad looks, it really doesn't matter that much.
Sadia, I've seen a few of your videos, and I must say that you hit the nail on the head, nearly all the time (well, 'all' of the time that I've watched, but I can't say for sure of course, so can't sensibly lay claim to 100%). But I'm impressed by your insight and understanding; and not JUST from the female perspective, but the male's too. I respect anyone who obviously reflects and 'thinks', or analyses things. So really, hats off to you. You understand more than many other so-called psychologists. I'll be subscribing to your channel after this. X
I met a rich man semi recently (he came to my work), and he tried to promise me flights across the world, $500 dinners in exchange for companionship. We literally JUST met. But he came to me so aggressively the first time we spoke, and I told him I didn't feel respected... he also seemed so spiteful the more I talked to him. When I politely kept turning him down, he kept coming in, chasing, and the insults started coming. He talked to me about "my value" and how it would be "smart" for me to go out with him. It just shocked me, because I told him I'd rather go on a cheap but cute date, and actually have a connection. We had nothing but his attraction toward me and his money. I'm not an item. Money doesn't mean much to me anymore, especially after that encounter. Men like this scare me... money doesn't mean squat unless you want a gold digger. And looks will only get you so far. We need CONNECTION, not surface level things..
Look y'all, I figured you needed an update: This man came BACK not only with more money (he tips super well ughh) but got his brother to tell me how I'm silly/too cautious for not meeting him outside of work. Just SMH. ........Pray for me, I'm trying to get out of the service industry :/
My brother shared a student house with a very attractive ‘Medic ‘ she recruited him, to be go , outside the house ,, to stop young men hitting on her everywhere she went . Full range of men , all types. All she wanted to do was walk to class ,do the shopping and go to the student bar , without interference.
She’s not lying however I’ll take being a genuinely beautiful woman over any other ‘type’. Yes, you do see the darker side of humans since you’re usually very magnetic and attract the good, the bad and the ugly. Now, if you’re also beautiful on the inside as well, you tend to hella-trigger people to. But with all that exposure to the dark, comes with the light of insight and wisdom into human psychology. After a while, you easily detect whom to avoid. As long as you are careful, the pros of being a beautiful woman outweigh the cons… by far!!
While most men will have their heads turned by a beautiful woman, even if in a relationship with another beautiful woman, they won't cheat if they value and truly love the woman they're with even if she's not as beautiful as the woman that turned their head and they have the opportunity. True love is hard to find and if you've lost it once or twice you tend to cherish it if you are lucky enough to get another chance at it. No harm though in discreetly admiring the beauty of other women or men if you are a woman. We are all human.
being attractive makes me hated by certain group of women I'm not sure why now i understand. Sometimes it feels like, I try go to them, make friends with them, but they not keen to be friends and staying away and not being friendly only to me, but too friendly on others. Only attractive girls that always were nice to me, and i feel like they like me a lot. Those movies plot where the pretty girl are the meanest, I don't think it relate to my world. It's always the least unattractive girls that's always the meanest to me, and the attractive pretty girls, are the sweetest, soft and so nice to me!
those people who are unnecessarily mean to you are feeling insecure about themselves because they are already comparing themselves to you and if you stay around long enough, they'll build a negative narrative and dig pointers to justify their hostile treatment towards you. I don't even see myself as attractive I'm just decent, others though told me I'm attractive, and I'll get the isolation treatment from day 1. Younger me didn't understand this and try to make myself smaller and people please to fit in. But since then I decided to just continue be myself regardless, genuine people will find their way to you.
This was quite interesting actually! First time on this channel and enjoyed the discussion. Good points! A major differentiator I have noticed in women is if they had a present father or not and good relationship to him. There are also so many red flags out there, at least 1/6 or so are probably crossing into personality disorder. Guys need to be very selective and actively screening on personality!
As a pretty woman, I can say it never helped me. Its a myth that its helping you somehow. I do not want inappropriate attention from men. At the same time normal guys are afraid to make a first step because they think they dont have a chance. Last years it started to be annoying to hear You are so pretty. Or: you are so beautiful, I dont understand why you are single. Because its not connected. If you are pretty, it doesnt mean you are in a happy relationship.
I forgot to mention doctors, instructors, coaches, bosses, men with mental issues, narcissists, stupid jokes from my friends’ bf. When I was 20 I didnt know how to react. Now at least I can defend myself. As a result I learnt to be less feminine in certain situations. Like not to attract attention.
''I do not want inappropriate attention from men''..........Unless he's filthy rich , fantastic looking or the 'bad' boy type ''Don't listen to what women say, watch what they do.''
Thank you for posting this video! Your opinion is en pointe. Attractive women at ANY age (defined by each culture’s societal expectations) owning their femininity, embracing their looks and sexuality as a topic is taboo to openly discuss and debate in a healthy way in our society. It was refreshing for me to hear both of their opinions and experiences.
But you have to admit that BOMBSHELL-type women gradually lose those verbal accolades from others around their mid-forties or fifties.... simply because we look forty yo if we didn't have any work done!!! Age plays a SIGNIFICANT role in whether females are viewed as 'bombshells' - NOT just looks!! That's part of the reason why 'this topic is taboo,' as you stated. It's NOT something stereotypically gorgeous sexy middle-aged women can bring up to their more average-looking female peers, in contrast, and IRL, sitting around the dinner table. They'll either get offended, not empathize or simply NOT understand because their experiences with attention were completely different. Don't you agree that's part of the reason the topic is taboo IRL, in person?
@@elisabeth4342 Nothing is ever black or white, much less age and aging in and of itself. Nuances to include in the conversation are culture, ageism, sexism, stereotypes, socio-economic status, education, generation...our bodies wear and tear as a result of the aging process. How we take care externally and internally is a personal decision. Some take better care while others, not so much. Societal expectations of women are harsh, and high on the list is attractiveness. Because of these societal expectations having public discourse on topics such as looks makes it taboo in some circles. So what? Choose whom to speak with and give credit to wisely. Focus solely on looks, and due to aging looks fade. But those who want to maintain a healthy outer look and healthy inner look throughout their aging process...go for it. It's a personal choice. The opposite is true, too. Focusing on substance, and keep learning, growing, and stretching is where the real beauty is at.
@@interruptingaging As far as culture, the stereotypical bombshell-types have the idealistic measurements and shapes of old-school swimsuit models, calendar models, iconic Playboy Playmate centerfold models and POSSIBLY some old-school professional fitness models!!! It has little to do with race, ethnicity, socioeconomic status, or even certain physical features (height, for example). Bombshell-types also have more stereotypical beautiful and/or commercially beautiful faces - according to others IRL or professional/promotional modeling agencies. These are usually the main features that make a female either a bombshell or just attractive - at any age. But, as Sadia suggested in the video clip, the difficulty lies in having to adjust to the gradual dwindling of a previous overabundance of attention. That's a pretty difficult adjustment to make, for bombshell types, AFTER MANY YEARS of accolades, admiration, SEXUAL interest, etc.. She was giving validation to the FACT that the bombshell types will have MORE DIFFICULTY adjusting to middle-age than her plainer counterparts! Wasn't THAT validation good to read (for you)?? Because I've known that some of the people/females closest to me will NOT be able to emphasize or sympathize with me on this! Which means I CAN'T talk to them about it. I have limited people to confide in about it.
@@interruptingaging It's NOT A PERSONAL CHOICE like you suggest. Stereotypical bombshell types have a MUCH LARGER ADJUSTMENT to make once they hit their mid-forties or fifties compared to women who more average-looking in their prime years.
@@elisabeth4342There's NOTHING to admit... 🙈 Women can be gorgeous at ANY age... I know several insanely beautiful women in their 50s (and older!) who still get those verbal accolades and are hit on by (much younger) guys - without having any surgical work done whatsoever... People's minds are so preoccupied and the public opinion so biased when it comes to "older" women... 😳🙄 Beauty is in the eye of the beholder anyway...
I don’t see myself as beautiful or attractive. I get along with women, and I thought with men. But, it seems like I get looks from men but they don’t come up to me. Or I get men eyeing me but they have women. It seems like only obnoxious men seem to have the confidence to talk to me and ask me to go out. Lately, I’ve been disappointed that men I thought were friends were actually trying to get me to get physical with them. Or, I’ve found others were actually married or had a significant other and were being deceptive, not honest nor truthful, not upfront nor forthright. Games. It’s very upsetting. I’ve experienced men trying to get my attention while I’m with another man. Quite rude. Such superficial relationships are pretty underwhelming.
The best kind of beautiful women are the ones that don't know how beautiful they are and are, perhaps, a bit socially awkward or nerdy. I think those used to be more common before the age of selfies and Instagram.
@@JR-rf9sq More like she will be more likely to be down to earth, less high-maintenance, up for doing goofy things and not looking at her phone every three seconds.
@@norwegianblue2017 A woman can know how beautiful she is and still be down to earth, not high-maintenance and goofy and not look at her phone for three seconds. You seem to want some sort of power over the woman you date, that she can only be considered truly beautiful if you get to decide she is. There is a different kind of beauty when a woman knows she is beautiful, but isn't arrogant about it. It's called self-respect and confidence.
shes is a bad role model. but she is good at explaining the psychology.. she is old and single why will u put someone asa role model who is an abject failure
Sorry, but I’m not buying it. It is hard to be attractive even if you were born with good genetics (which is rare) because you have to go out of your way by spending time, money, and effort, to maintain and enhance your appearance. If being beautiful was such a burden, well, looking ugly is easy - just let yourself go. Looking ugly is the default for the majority of people, so if being pretty was soooo difficult, then you would just stop being pretty. Who does this? Almost no one voluntarily makes themselves look uglier (maybe on a temporary basis for a specific occasion or a specific reason, but who deliberately ruins their appearance permanently? No one). It’s like hearing a rich person complain about the problems of being too rich. If being rich was really that problematic, then the solution is simply: give all of your money away and stop being rich. Who does this? No one.
I'm so inside of my head all of the time and in my own world, that I didnt realize this till like, 3-4 years ago. And im almost 40. People are so threatened when they see a good looking woman WHO'S SINGLE. I was married before, now divorced. I dont think marriage is for everybody. Ive never dumbed myself down, or ponytail'd & sweats myself for the sake of friends or being less threatening or whatever. Which is probqbly why im a loner. Im now realizing how much that has bothered people😂. And being comfortable with myslef bothers people MORE. I just mind my business little do they know im not even thinking about them or their man, im thinking should i buy that purse i saw the day before. Silly rabbits. 😂
You keep doing you, sister. Don't dim your light for anyone. I personally am not dating either just to have friends. I get satisfaction out of so many other interesting hobbies and interests in life. 😊
@@kasimshaikh3750bruh it’s hilarious. That’s how you know they havent experienced being really attractive. It comes with more benefits than not. The comment section is filled with these “really attractive” women who think they’re the ones being talked about 💀💀
Absolutely. I quit dating altogether due to the current attitudes of the men I run across. I am a spiritual and successful person, which intimidates the weak. I am fine on my own. If men want to date someone like me, they need to be self aware and constantly improving. That's a tall order for users and losers.
Beyond thankful that Sadia is talking about this. She knows it well, and now I know nothing was wrong with me when I tried to pursue friendships with women and always got rejected. I used to always think that “I’m being a weirdo” or something because whenever I tried to make new connections, the women would always withdraw, seemingly for no reason. This realization brings me so much comfort. But still, I am sad that I cannot have any close/good friends and mostly live a very lonely life full of prejudice toward me. I get called names and my problems always get downplayed because “you’re so pretty why do you complain?” or people assume I’m rich because I’m pretty and use that to nag me as well. So I never vent, I never open up, I do not share my achievements or show/share my outfit/mani etc; all the things that women do between themselves because I do not want to stand out, get ignored, downplayed or make anyone insecure/unfomfortable.
Omg that explains so much why i am the way i am. When i had guy friends, their gf hate me. Some guys already had gf but still hit on me, i didn’t even like them but got hated by his gf and her classmates. Some approached me as a friend but then confessed that he had a crush on me and when i couldn’t accept his feeling, i was hated and lost my friend. High school was a nightmare for me and that experience still affecting my personality until now
'Some guys already had gf but still hit on me,' A female doesn't have to be 'hot' for a man to hit on hit on her....even if he has a girlfriend or a wife. He just wants a bit of no strings ''romance''
That's why hidjab is mandatory in Islam. Not only cover your hair but also your body, so the people treat you for your character and not for your physical appearance. I started wearing hidjab for a year now. I feel more comfortable with it. I still look pretty. But I got less lustful attention. I still attract attention from men and women.
The purpose of hijab is also differentiate between the slave women and free women . Slave women are not allowed to wear hijab . The awrah of a slave women is from her navel to the knees same as that of a free man and a slave man . The awrah of a free Muslim woman is her whole body . Until the 20th century topless male and female slaves were traded in slave markets in Makkah and medina the historical photographs show this .
@@rowenaravenclaw3483 you know that prophet Muhammad ended slavery back then. It was common all over the world. But Islam forbid it. So don't spread lies.
@@jdcharlie yes there is. They are not allowed to show the belly button and the parts below and their ankles must be seen. Like Steve Urkle style. Also they should wear a beard but not a mustache. This is not allowed. The beard should be one fist length. They wear a small topi. Which is like a thing head. Or a turban. The head should be covered. They also should wear loose cloth. Almost like long wide dresses or big camisa. I don't know how to explain it in English. But yes for men and women there are rules. But for me it really feels better. Now since I moved to a tropical country I thought oh my if I start wearing the hidjab now, I'm gonna sweat as hell. Actually it's the opposite. I sweated more in a tight tank top or a lose t shirt. It was mind blowing. 6 month I dressed like before in this tropical area and now it's already 1 year with Hidjab. It's actually cooler. Cause my skin doesn't get heated up. My body temperature is more stable. It's also a protection from the sun. Not only lusting men. Of course men still react to me. But it's different. I don't feel naked while being stared at. It's fwels way less humiliating.
You just explained to me my wife’s mindset after 36 years of marriage. I love her more than ever but her self loathing over her looks fading is causing her to lash out at everyone. It’s destroying our relationship.
@@georgeelder8415 Its like advice of 10 year old. More than sure he tried that. Honestly, there is nothing much he can do. Unfortunetly it will get worse... to the point where she will destroy the relationship
Leave she’s most likely cheated on you and is mad she doesn’t get validation from the masses anymore. Game is game. If your love was enough she would forget to wear makeup like every woman that actually loved me did. Also I cheated on most of my ex’s and I’ve been dating an Italian model for the last two years trust me women will neglect their looks when they’re in love. Better yet get a lie detector test and if I’m right I will buy you a stripper for an hour
As a “pretty” girl, it really resonated with me when she said that people look for your flaws (the negative) a lot. As soon as I walk into a room, I can already hear and see other women and men judging me. Women are threaten by you immediately and act low key rude to you from the start. And men see you as a trophy to conquer. I’ve had several people mock me for getting “something done” yet I’ve never had plastic surgery. Plus I feel like once you’ve reached a certain threshold of pretty, there is less privilege and more bitterness from people. Even my current bf thought I would be a shallow bimbo when we met. People tend to already label you even before meeting or talking to you. And when you confine to others with these concerns, they just think you’re ridiculous for even having them. I’ve had women I’ve never met say the nastiest of things about me just because they’re insecure. Men often do not respect you and say vulgar things. And the list goes on. But often it’s a curse.
I'm glad she came along to add some actual knowledge to this conversation. The red pill guys are so annoying at this point and just seem to go off vibes and not science.
Everything you say is true and another reason why men don't get along well in a relationship where women have more income, is because majority of successful women start to lose their feminine characteristics, they become more aggressive, they command and make their own decisions, they want to be leaders. In their eyes a kind of underestimation begins and this atmosphere makes a man feel disrespected.
You are correct, but this will never get mentioned on a podcast like this because anything that paints women in a less flattering way is ignored and they pretend that women are angels from heaven, capable of no wrong.
As a woman I can agree. I had to learn to switch back to “sweet” after a long work day surrounded by male colleagues only, and to underplay my achievements. You can say it’s not fair, but I rather have good sex with my husband, a great relationship AND be successful ;;;)
@@David-fw4ly Some podcasts can do this, but not Sadia, she never accepts a woman's bad behavior, on the contrary, she criticizes and educates them. Listen carefully to all her podcasts and you will understand better.
I just realized that us "plain" people are the most free of them all. My husband and I have no insecurity with one another because we recognize that we're on the same playing field, and we don't value material or aesthetic things as much as others. We don't have to care about much outside of being healthy and loving one another to the fullest.
omg this is gold, modern gold, and too it's like you're finding it as we watch. ...and the whole positive irony in the set up - that Sadia is, and quite extraordinarily. thank you both, tremendous..
One of the best compliments I have received was a girl introducing me as 'Girls don't like pretty girls, but she's so nice, it's impossible not to like her'. I don't remember a time when I didn't get attention for being attractive because it began in primary school. It was around grade 7 that I noticed girls starting to treat me a bit differently. I started getting feedback like 'until I got to know you, I thought you were a snob'. I knew that was a misrepresentation and I went on to correct it by turning into a Phoebe-type character (yes, from the TV series FRIENDS). A lot of my humour was self-deprecating and it was never hard to find material for it because I did have low self-esteem anyway. None of this sounds healthy 🤣 but this goofy version of me put the girls around me at ease - the awkwardness just went away. If you're a pretty girl, try not acting like one. That doesn't mean you have to dress down. You can wear your six inch heels and your red lipstick, but just do the chicken dance for a bit when the music comes on. 😅I know a gorgeous model who has the same sort of vibe and I don't know a single person, man or woman, who doesn't love her to bits. I totally get what she is saying about pretty women having the worst experiences with men. Men are trickier to work with on this because they aren't thinking with their brains, are they? Women, on the other hand, will see you as something besides a self-absorbed bimbo if you let them. Of course, some women are just terrible people and they'll dislike you just because and no matter what, but if you're one of those women who have NO female friends and you think this is because you are really pretty, you probably need to work on yourself.
I wish I could meet you. You described my childhood experiences with girls and guys. And yes I have this goofy and sweet personality most people can’t ignore. But I definitely deemed my light too much when I was younger for the sake of getting along. I sometimes with I were the snob people anticipated.
Could the silly “chicken dance” be a form of performative self deprecating social behavior? This would totally work for a woman who was naturally a goof ball. Not so much for ones who are naturally reserved or shy. Either way it’s not a woman’s job to make others less intimidated of her.
@@beesworld04 you still have your whole life ahead of you to correct that. You can shine, dress to kill, allow your intelligence to show and no one will resent you as long as you do the chicken dance every now and then! 😅
Ohmygosh, while I never considered myself a hot girl I also experienced this sense, (since a very young age.) I was often demoralized by the realization that "that guy" didn't want kindness, or my compassion, or my true self but was just seeking looks. :( Now as a mature adult, pushing the back half of 50 years old, I realize how a lifetime of this has left its mark. Sign me a sensitive sweet who is an inadvertent crazy girl too. However, boundaries are good but, bananas behavior is not fair to the other person. OH and absolutely on other women. Feeling the repercussions from insecure, malicious, machinating women has been brutal. I value women who are genuine. I think "pretty privilege" only works within the realm of "average pretty." Just as with intelligence there is a level of diminished effects. If someone is too far above average intelligence then average intelligence people see them as cooky, or weird even, (at times.) So, when not just pretty for average but above average pretty then the effects of privilege don't really seem to mete out.
They hit on you because they want to start drama in your life. They have no intention of marrying you and leaving their wife. It's basically like an experiment. I've heard stories of girls (and it has happened to me) where when the guy was single he wouldn't hit on them, but when he was married or in a relationship he would. I think it's to bring choas and havoc into the woman's life because the man is probably jealous because he's in a miserable loveless fucking marriage that he regrets so he's resentful so he wants to bring chaos into other people's life's because he can and he will.
I am so grateful for this video. It validates my experiences so very much. I’ve tried very hard to explain to my family that beauty isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, sometimes I feel it’s a curse and makes it very hard to acquire good friends even. It’s sort of… lonely. And the worse part is when I first vocalized this… all I ever heard was basically “oh poor pitiful you.. you’re too pretty.. that must be soooo hard” 🥴😑
Well, AFAIK, finding good real life friends is pretty much an issue of this day and age, with all the toxic social media crap... And yes, talking about something that bothers you is often replied with anything along the lines of "stop complaining". I mean, I have frequent headaches due to permanent sleep deprivation, but hardly ever mention it anymore, because it almost always gets downplayed (there's always something worse after all) or in some cases I get treated as some sort of charity case.
Attractive women who don't treat beauty as only one aspect of life & revolve their entire existence around it will become a total mess as they get older. As attention & pretty privillages start to go down, most of them will start to do crazy stuff to regain them & fill the void.
The video just refers to a tiny segment of the population. A physically beautiful woman with a shallow or toxic personality is still a shallow or toxic woman. No man with any sense will want to have a relationship with a woman like that.
Every point is 💯 accurate and I really wish this type of information was shared in even elementary school. Girls are so burdened by the opinions of others with other girls being mean to them and we don’t know why or boy saying certain things to them. This is really priceless. Thank you.
For full clip see my patreon
www.patreon.com/Sadiapsychology
?
Coach greg adam will be better for her 😂
It is simple and easy god created us in this world to be good and respect each other's not create stories heat to listen all this.
Go to Universal Truth 0:12 🏫 wake up man ! ‼️ 0:12
@@mometarooyeah for stupid people who listen to it all the way true ‼️⭐️😊 0:12
The power move with beautiful women is to... treat them like regular person. Humanizing her and treating her like a real person will always be the right way to go.
Yes 💯
Your comment almost sounds like an insult but it truly isn’t. When I was in high school I got humbled real quick when one particular boy turned down my advances. He wouldn’t be the first but he was the last. Ever since then I never saw myself as a guarantee that I can get any man. I still have my confidence but I’m not smug about it. I also take it as compliment when people see me as smart individual (hence being treated like a human being).
Yes. Like please stop saying “how’s your night going beautiful”
And pleaseeeee, do not show me off to your friends, relatives, colleagues. Iam not your trophy, Iam a woman thats wants true love and honesty. Thanks.
But the fact that you're doing it as a "power" move shows your predatorial intent. Part of the problem.
I saw through my last ex that there's such a thing as being too pretty. She said in her case it was from being a young girl and getting inappropriate attention from grown men to being an adult and having men hitting on her all the time. She would stay home alone just to avoid situations. And yes, other women didn't like her. So that brings in male friends, which is a whole other set of problems. She knew she had issues from it all.
Relatable !
2 REPLIES
yes I know about the getting attention at a very young age ...it teaches you that men just want you for pleasure...i remember the feeling even at 12 years old. I also developed early. this is big facts! i still feel that way alot especially in dating but now that I am grown I can see it and brush it off...but it took time
Why did you break up
If doesnt enjoy the attention then she would wear a hijab, otherwise all women love attention ( I am a woman fyi)
One of the things I wasn’t expecting to learn in life was that women who are “less attractive” have been the ones that treat me like shit.
Agreed. Worst enemy of women is other women treating them badly. We should stick together not vent childish envy/jealousy on innocent people.
@@Parvahti I’m a guy
@@PriusTurboSo maybe don't give them the impression that they will be rejected preemptively?
Statistically female intuition is pretty good so you're telling on yourself a bit on this one.
Yes, pretty women treat me good actually
@@saneman7177if you have people treat you like trash then you treat them like trash. Quit being a little punk.
Being attractive also means you either get bombarded by attention OR ignored because Idk people assume you slready have someone or they cant talk to you or you wont talk to them
This is literally like the first thing she said. You didn't even watch the video and you already commenting like you got something to add.
@@huricanethreeonesix its ok. this comment is just confirming that other women agree with that part.
She's on point about men dropping everything, even their wives in some cases to be with you. It's scary to be confronted with that reality all the time.
happened to 3 of my mom's close friends, it's even more if I include the cases from friends and random people around me, but people will still deny how often that happens lol
Not that it doesn't happen, I'd just say Women are more likely to leave because they found a partner they're more attracted to. Women do things in silence. It's a reality everyone has to go through.
@@1nf1ni7e_GG Yeah women will leave, but men will do it in secret and try to stay married.
Terrifying. Many women retreat from men, not relish in this experience. I never betrayed a woman in my life; always had women’s back in silence, Bc these realties you can’t talk about.
So thanks.
it's also scary for your lady to dump you because some wealthy guy is showering her with gifts. It goes both ways...
I've dated a few "Hot" women, some beauty pageant princesses and models. There is no telling of their personalities until you talk to them. But you can break them down into two categories, as you alluded to. 1. They feel ZERO need to "work" on anything as they can move on at the slightest hint of displeasure. One in particular is insanely beautiful still unmarried, no kids, and hitting the wall hard. 2. The other ones were unbelievably chill and down to earth, and I feel this needs saying, they had active fathers in their lives. Make of that what you will. But my point is go and talk to the pretty women you will be instantly dismissed or find an incredible woman for a life time.
i am sure you did 😭
"Insanely beautiful" but "hitting the wall hard" she's still much more valuable than you though and you know it
Facts! Facts! Facts!
Lol. And I am a navy seal and also a 3 time gold olympic athlete. Also, I am a rocket scientist.
Yeah I dated a few billionaires and man alive were they difficult to be around. I only stayed until I got enough diamonds and Porsches and then I was out. Unsurprisingly they're all old and miserable now and regretting how they treated me.
Being beautiful can be very lonely until you use it to your advantage. Other women dont want to be your friends bc they dont want to stand next to a beautiful woman. And the men that go after a beautiful woman are extroverted narcissists. All the wrong men. So its highly isolating on both sides. Then in your 40s you rise to the top and gain respect because you were highly isolated youve mastered many more skills other than beauty and people see you beyond your beauty❤ And that thats where my life has become miraculous.
The older I get and age the happier and more confident I am I do not see it as a power loss because I have learned so many skills in my isolation that now I have more overall contentedness and not worrying about if other women see me as a threat or dont like me bc of the face I was born with. i also feel free to not wear makeup and it, and its super liberating, and so I still get alot of attention because now my spirit is liberated.
Speak!!! 🙏🏽
If you are pretty, hangout with pretty women like you, why they hangout with average women i dont understand? Pretty women dont hangout with pretty womens because both of them have the same personality and compete agains each other.
Best thing I read on the internet all day ❤🎉
Amen!! it is lonely at the top at times 🤍
As a 40 years women I can completely relate to that!
Not only that but they love seeing you fail or fall. There is this passive aggressive from most girls towards you. Often you will not be invited along because they are afraid that you will over shine them.
YUP
Misery loves company
I had a friend that was gorgeous. I invited her as a friend to one of my family/friends dinner. Almost all d men were a tad bit different, except for my FIL. All were nice and respectful, but a tad bit reserved. Overall it wasn’t a whole lot different; but somewhere I felt a little embarrassed for her. Like I had betrayed her. Next time I was hesitant, because I felt uneasy that she might get embarrassed or offended by noticing what I noticed around d same group.
Don’t automatically assume hatred or jealousy. They could b protecting u, out of love and respect. U r being ugly if u automatically assume such negativity. In which case, reconsider other people’s behavior around u. It may b because they felt that negativity.
Yes this is so true
Yep, I had a friend admit that they didn't invite me on trips was because I would take all the guys. While I was the only one that was in a relationship. It's so sick.
The worst is being attractive and never knowing if the person you’re with likes you for YOU, or just for what you look like.
D@mn u don’t get it then ..
Generally being attractive will be the majority of what YOU are. Same with being rich.
The worst thing about being poor. Not knowing if no woman doesnt want you because you are poor or another 1 of 30 reasons.
exactly, same problem for men with money
So u like man for who he is ? Not what he has or does for u ?
The worst part is - as a successful and beautiful woman, other people don’t believe all the crazy experiences you make with (unfaithful) men or jealous/envious women, unless they witness it first hand. Because either you come across as super arrogant or they are secretly hating, so they gaslight you. I‘m glad I have loyal friends who accept me for who I am.
Cool story bro
@@mrrandy2306 proving my point.
You’re really beautiful
I heard of a female hairdresser in Portland Oregon who purposely gave an attractive woman a terrible hair cut. I guess she didn't want repeat customers.
THIS.
When I feel jealous of a woman, I use it as “free therapy” to identify what they have that I want. Are they fit, are they active, do they make a lot of $. I use the dark feelings to identify what I want to grow in myself. I make over 100k, workout, and have a business because of motivating goddesses that I had jealousy towards. When I feel jealous my brain get the message from my heart that reads “there is a role model”.
Same! This is a great comment. It's good to do this with all "triggers" honestly - we are often triggered by things for a reason. With envy in particular, there's usually something about the person that I admire but for whatever reason feel I don't have (sometimes we do have it and just don't know it).
This is beautiful!
Yes girl. This is exactly what I do too. Where do I feel jealous? Bc that’s something I desire in my shadows that hasn’t come to light yet. Sink into it… feel it, and then acknowledge it as a positive thing
What a beautiful way of seeing things! :)
Yes this is how it should be!
I was born beautiful and what I heard all my life was: oh, you are so lucky to look this way. In reality what I experienced and still experience is envy and sometimes pure hatred of women around me including my own less attractive sisters, and toxic men who wants me as their trophy and avenge in case of my rejection.
I have not used my look to make it as a source of my income, like models or actresses. I have a pretty normal life, education and job. And indeed I am isolated with no female friends. It doesn’t make me sad though, I have accepted it the way it is.
But it is absolutely true what Sadia is saying. Everything I have been thinking about she puts so well in this several minutes analysis.
I good movie to watch about this is Malena with Monica Bellucci.
I also have no friends they are all jealous it’s not easy being beautiful
Agreed. People don’t understand what a burden it is.
Come be my fake online friend 😂 maybe we could be real but I like other hot bitches … 😂 I only might get jelly if it’s a chick hanging around a guy I am after. I think women need to learn to “hold their own” confidence
I thought I would sound conceited if I say that being beautiful has its disadvantages. I'm glad to hear others say the same. I was more beautiful in my youth. Around 14 years of age, men would hit on me. My parents had to provide me a guardian whenever I went out which hardly happened. I'm now in my 50s, married an average looking guy, have adult kids and still good looking but at least more comfortable in my appearance and not as conscious that I catch attention. I'm leading a very peaceful life.
@@cutiepiea3687sure buddy🤡
The only halo effect I receive is that I look like I haven't suffered a day in my life. Women look at me and conclude that I must be married to a 6 figure husband and spend my days laying on the couch and getting mani pedis. Then they go out of their way and want to be the one who makes me suffer. And guys actually end up being disappointed when they get to know me since they had such high expectations of who I was and made up a whole personality for me to suit them.
that sucks i am sorry
As an older woman who was ‘hot’ I finally realized that being considered sexy didn’t bring me anything worth having. I now go out of my way to be not hot. I don’t wear makeup, I don’t shave, I don’t do my hair, I don’t do anything that would make me attractive to men. I’ve been much happier.
I feel the same way, but only to a limit. My partner is 20 years younger than me and I appreciate when he looks nice so I try to make some effort, too. But he doesn't care about makeup and likes me being natural and casual, so we get to just be free. We both look best when we're naked anyway, which is only for each other. I reserve 100% of my sexual energy for my soulmate and prefer being kind of invisible out in the world. It took me too long to realize that trying to elicit sexual projection from strangers is really sad.
sure.
The no make up thing to me is real beauty, its crazy how a lady with no make up can look MORE attractive than a lady all glammed up. But sadly I am of the mindset, where approaching attractive women is a no no, because what I have experienced in life. Which is supported by this you tube clip
Bih you need to shave lol
@@bc_qbeval😂😂😂 💯
You've hit the nail on its head. I've seen the worst in men. I've been hit on by married men, men with girlfriends in the same room or even right next to them! Strangers wink at me or stare while they are holding another woman in their arms. And plenty of them to a point where I'd wonder if this is what all men do when their partner isn't around. It definitely has made me lose respect for men and yes, I do struggle to trust. Cause I know what men are like with attractive women, it's like there is no moral code, it doesn't matter that they're hurting someone else, it's like they just can't help themselves. And women do see you as an enemy. Oftentimes someone just glances at me and I can instantly tell that she has an issue with me, no words exchanged. This pains me the most cause I am a feminist and I support women, I'd never take another woman's man. But then there are those men who couldn't care less about me, who have their woman and to them I'm just a friend, colleague. It seems that these are the men that see you as an actual human being not a conquest that will stroke their ego. And there are also women that are amazing and couldn't care less about what you look like - they see you for who you are on the inside, not how desirable you seem to men, not a threat. These are the people who I cherish and respect
Rather be hot than ugly and invisible thou right
Everyone gets hit on all the time, married or not, all walks of life. In the regular world we just call it life and accept it. I get hit on all the time by women that are married and it doesn't go any further because theres no need. I know my wife wouldd hit on a handsome guy. I think certain people cant just can't handle it and lose their minds at the thought. That has nothing to do with beauty, it has to do with insecurity and a sense of not having that level of exclusivity that is rare and irrational to expect.
No offence but 90% of the time when men think that women hit on them - we don't. Women rarely hit on men overall. What men read as being hit on is women just being polite or nice - no romantic interest. What men struggle to understand is that women can be nice with no agenda. We'll treat men well not because we want something in return but because we're just (mostly) decent people. Men on the other hand will treat a woman according to how attractive they find her and this is why likely they assume women hit on them when they're just being nice. I've witnessed my below average male acquaintances talk to a gorgeous woman totally out of their league and then brag how she was into them lol She wasn't - as a woman I know that, she was merely polite or friendly. Honestly, it's often quite embarrassing to witness and makes the guy look pathetic but a couple of times I tried to explain it to men they'd literally turn vicious. I guess it strokes their ego lol even when totally delusional. What I'm trying to say is that the women that you think have hit on you mostly didn't. I can hardly recall witnessing a woman hitting on a men altogether let alone a married one. But I have been accused of doing that myself when I was just being nice to someone. But I've seen, heard and experienced married men hit on other women, pursue other women, deceive other women - for their own gain, irrespective of the hurt they were causing. And this is why other women often feel insecure in the presence of someone attractive - cause oftentimes they will have to endure the humiliation of watching this guy make a fool of himself trying to flirt with a woman that isn't even interested @@JoshTheTechnoShaman
I 100% agree with everything you've said here as this has all been my experience as well. @@emm9002 You start losing faith in humanity when all these men in relationships approach you and women don't like you solely based on your appearance. I wish everyone could just be respectful to everyone. If only...
you were absolutely spot on! Specially regarding men thinking they are being hit on by a woman just because she is being polite. I think this is called projection? @@emm9002
"The Psychology of Attractive Women and Jealousy in Relationships"
Summary:
In this thought-provoking UA-cam video, the speaker explores the unique experiences and challenges faced by attractive women, shedding light on how their attractiveness affects their interactions with men and women. The key points and takeaways from the video are as follows:
1. Attractive Women's Perspective: Attractive women often have different insights into the behavior of men, as they frequently encounter men who are either intimidated by their beauty or excessively lustful towards them.
2. Loss of Naivety: These women witness men going to great lengths to gain their attention, including leaving partners, risking their jobs, and pursuing them relentlessly. This exposure leads to a loss of naivety about men's faithfulness.
3. Suspicion and Jealousy: Their personal experiences can make them more suspicious in relationships, as they may perceive their partners as more sexual or unfaithful than they might be, given their own encounters with men's relentless pursuit.
4. Handling Unwanted Attention: Attractive women may experience persistent unwanted attention from undesirable men, which can be a daunting and potentially unsafe situation. The video advises how to handle such scenarios and seek help if necessary.
5. Positive Attention from Desirable Men: They enjoy positive attention from men they are interested in, such as compliments, smiles, and approaches, which can be exciting and fun.
6. Complex Reactions from Women: Attractive women may face mixed reactions from other women. Some women may react with jealousy and competitiveness, while others might give compliments and engage positively.
7. Building an Identity: To overcome jealousy in relationships, individuals, regardless of their attractiveness, should work on building an identity outside of the relationship, thereby increasing confidence and reducing the fear of loss.
8. Expressing Jealousy: Communicating feelings of jealousy with a partner can be a test of compatibility. The right partner may provide reassurance, while the wrong one may exacerbate the jealousy.
9. Historical Jealousy: The speaker touches on the concept of "historical jealousy," where past experiences may trigger jealousy in current relationships.
This video offers valuable insights into the psychological challenges faced by attractive women and provides a thoughtful exploration of jealousy in relationships.
Thanks!
Thanks for sharing!
Doing Gods work this guy
Thank you.
Excellent summary 👌
An unspoken bottom line is: all men should work up the confidence to approach beautiful women. Indeed, the ones that usually don't are the ones that can have the healthiest relationships with them, and turn their opinions around when it comes to men.
The most confident approach you can ever do as a man is tell a woman true sexual interests and thoughts . Watch how women respond to your boldness !!
@@Ben256MB That's true, but as said here, beautiful women are quite used to bold approaches like that. What surprises them is down-to-earth approaches. Men showing them a life and an existence that doesn't revolve around sexuality and beauty. Maybe even men who point out how shallow they are for thinking that!
@@RafaelRomoMulas1You get it! 🫱🏽🫲🏾
Yeah, the pickmes
Here's a novel idea. How about the beautiful woman goes and asks one of these shy guys out for a change? If the wrong type of men hit on her & the right guys don't, how about she stops waiting for life to come to her & makes it happen?
I think another struggle beautiful women have is loneliness. It is harder to make friends with women, and also men will pretend to be your friend and 99% of the time it turns out he just wants to sleep with you. It is very very lonely
I crave female friendship all my life, and male also pretend to friend...it's extreme loneliness..extreme...at some point you move to God and become spiritual 😅😅
Do u live in India?@@pratikshyamohapatra
@haleytruslow7200 I understand because women also try to use me just for my body 99% of the time.
if that all you provide a sex object you alway gotta be treated that way
@@kimkhoitruong5991 I don’t present myself as a sex object, I am pretty modest and I don’t flirt with my guy friends. Thanks for trying though
As a hot girl, I don’t take men seriously. If he is lustful it annoys me. When a guy talks to me like a person, which is rare, I feel relaxed. It does make me sad because I don’t know who my friends are.
Ive rarely had men talk to me like a person. They always want something from me. I just want to be weird and funny and not some sex object all the time
@@djbabyvTry go around without make up. Then you will see if you are really pretty. To me, you look pretty normal in looks.
@@djbabyv Ahhhh this is so darn relatable ❤
Get over yourself
@@davemaurer7341 no 💅🏻✨
This is so true and so undertalked about. I have experienced exactly what both of them are talking about so much throughout life. Still to this day. I use to try to tone my looks down so I wouldnt have to deal with it but now that I am older I play my looks up and I just dont care anymore because I know one day I will look back and feel that I took it all granted...
Bruh 💀💀💀💀
This is where I am. I'm beautiful. I have the right to be beautiful, and it's safe to be beautiful. If people are cool, I'm cool. If not, let them kick rocks.
Do you think men should take their lives because of consistent female rejection? Have you ever interviewed several average men and asked them what their dating lives have been like?
Yes, same. I tone it down or rather am really humble, but as I get older I do want to appreciate what God gave me. I want my daughter to be appreciative as well. I think some people confuse it with pride, it's not.
It's true I'm a good looking woman and all my female friends who are overweight are in relationships and seem way less lonely it's heartbreaking..
Unfortunately men are usually scared 2 approach really attractive women. We often think she has tons of options because why wouldn't she? Or we think you're high maintenance or a gold digger and therefore not worth pursuing
Yeah, must be the world at fault, not yourself. Make yourself accessible, smile, make eye contact, most of all get rid of "i DESERVE this and that" and like by magic things will change.
@@Ruber212 well ofc they do but that's the point. If you are a guy with a lot of options you shouldn't feel scared to approach a beautiful woman
@@Ruber212but see that’s the assumptions
@@Ruber212🤣 this one talking about her overweight friends, it’s just another serial heartbreaking killer. She loves being independent with nobody to tell her what to do and at the same time crying about being alone, always playing victim. Every women who is alone, it’s her choice not fate
I just said a prayer thanking God that I'm not a woman. I cant fathom this competition with other women. It must be exhausting.
Us blokes have it also just not as petty..
We choose peace and they choose carnage..
I'm going through a divorce with my wife (side note, lol). She's usually the prettiest girl in the room by a long shot. She's 36 (looks 26), Asian / Vietnamese born in CA, a strong degree from a UC. Women in the professional world hate her. When they get close to befriending her, they then resent her even more because she maintains her looks with no botox, etc. She has one real girlfriend and that's it. Beauty is a blessing and a curse. But I'm sure she'd rather be gorgeous than not.
Same goes for men but moneywise.
I’ve been very attractive my whole life and I agree with this 💯. Married men and men in relationships are the thirstiest😢
You are the 1st woman that Ive heard actually make some sense of the psychology of beautiful women. I’ve been hit on by all kinds of men my whole life. I don’t trust any men as you say because they have shown the worst of themselves around me. So disturbing and difficult.
In a world where adults act like children, being a woman with physical beauty more often than not is a struggle
So it's not her fault, it's always because anything and everythings else but her, isn't it?
Yeah they struggle so much... especially on OnlyFans (OnlyFools). Men are willing to give them almost anything for nothing in return... What an incredibly hard life.
@@flotr6465 way to fully miss the point...
No it’s not. It’s actually a power. It only a struggle when you’re in a relationship but your spouse is not appreciating you like other men did
@@pravoslavnibalkanci right honey, now go do you pretending you are a victim of society, nature, weather, patriarchy, cosmology, cosmogony, cosmetology and ocean plankton.
Wow this is so true. She explained perfectly why I feel the way I do about men. I didn’t even understand tbh
This is one of the best videos that I have seen on UA-cam-and it is spot on. If you are also intelligent as well, if really distorts your experience of both men and woman. Thank you for having the courage to discuss this sensitive subject.
So says the gorgeous Sadia Khan
This just explained my life. I got very inappropriate attention from men as an early teenager, then in my early 20s I’d have guys chasing me down while having girlfriends. One guy in particular started stalking me and drove by my house frequently for a year. Like the video said, it made me very distrustful of every getting a faithful man (until I developed a relationship with God) I also had no female friends and was always alienated until I went to college. I was also very quiet and shy and I have hearing loss, so people would presume I thought I was too good to talk to them but I was just struggling to keep up with the conversation. I felt like nobody really gave me a chance tbh. People would project whatever opinion they had onto me and that was that.
Did a relationship with God help you have a faithful and more understanding partner?
I’m currently on the same path.
@@davidalvd yes having a relationship with God changed everything. Having been sexualised too early and for so long, I started to feel more human and allowed to be vulnerable going to church. It was so lovely to see men in there only have eyes for their wives and vice versa. It restored my faith in relationships. I started to see the beauty of interdependence between men and women. Church is the one space I can go where all the women are so welcoming and aren’t malicious towards me.
@@godschild8751 that’s beautiful to read. Yes, I’ve come to realize I might only find my partner in church as well.
I’m trying to build a closer relationship with God.
I couldn’t agree more! Thankfully I’ve never felt threatened but other beautiful women, yet most women always felt threatened by me. It’s a crazy journey to live life that way, where you have to constantly prove your worth that’s not associated with external appearances.
Also, pretty privilege is not all roses as folks make it out to be. We pay an extremely high price for that “pretty privilege.” Attractive people tend to be sexually assaulted more, adultified, hyper sexualized, abused, and exploited from a young age. People think we owe them our bodies, or that they have a right to our bodies and we are often raised to be boundless, therefore we don’t know better and we allow the abuse to continue from a young age till adulthood.
In addition, we not only have to protect ourselves from predatory men, but from predatory women as well. Often we are attacked and not helped by other women. Women only support other women if those women are at the same level as them or lower. Women never support other women who they consider to be above them, and that’s the sad truth. It’s an evolutionary survival mechanism that we haven’t evolved out of it yet. It’s an evolutionary glitch that’s still ingrained in most women’s DNA.
I think your first mistake is believing you're above average.
@@IQenjoyer
Ha! Says a faceless, internet incel troll!😆🤣🥴
So true ❤️
@@Itsmilkah 🥰🤘✨🖤✨💯🫶
@bannannalie
Yes! You’re delusional lol
I'm older now but when I was young I had a bad view of men because I got followed in the street phoned up with dirty phone calls, I had creeps coming out the woodwork,now I'm older and no longer get all that I can see all the decent men around me, i never noticed them before because I attracted the wrong type,but the world is full of genuine decent men I see that now.
Well maybe you're old or is it that the environment you grew is different
oooooffff
Too late. You didn't give your prime, you dont deserve prime treatment
@keylanoslokj1806 that's rude, what if the only guys who approached were bad men and good guys didn't even try so she never got a chance to even get to know a good guy? How is that her fault? Should she have given her prime to a bad boy? Damned no matter what
@@Hunter-2689 Thank you, its so true I never had decent men to reject I attracted all the wrong type married attached men ,stalkers ect who want that.
I did not grow up being that attractive as I grew up in a very conservative culture where modesty and virtues were prevalent. Now I live in a hot tropical state where you go to the beach and wear sundresses year round and I also now take better care of my looks and suddenly find myself having wayyyy more attention than I ever did in my twenties and thirties. It is confusing for my brain as I grew up around men treating me like a friend or very casually and now men tell me I am sexy or that they cannot be friends with me and I don’t always know what to do with that and end up feeling rejected a lot. I also now struggle to be in a relationship being single again and men have told me they are afraid I will cheat on them as they see I have options. It is a very strange dynamic to be in at this point in my life.
Be loyal and center yourself...
Don't worry, you're at best average, not very attractive, it's just the simps that multiplied uncontrolled in the last 10 - 20 years. The women they are talking about are 8 and above, not 5 and under.
This actually goes against what the video and many comments are saying. You are absolutely correct. A personal taking care of their body and being fit is what makes 100% of people beautiful. In today's world, you can get work that's hard to detect to improve your facial symmetry if, in rare case that's not "competitive," but I think that's actually very rare. But what we have to keep in mind is many women of high status are talking about isn't attractive men in general, but a very small percentage of men. That would be the top 5% to 10%. They are all battling for successful, dominating men who drive the wheels of American Capitalism, not your average Joe. So, being good-looking because you care for yourself isn't good enough for them. They have to assert status through social networking, knowing a lot of successful men and women, being able to dress to standard, and being able to be respected among high-status women. That's a far more complicated game, and women are at that high status are terrified of having to retire from that because they risk losing access to money and status.
that sounds like a really good way to filter low quality men. Those who can't be friends with you only care about your appearance and their lust over it and they don't care about knowing you as a person, and those who think you'd cheat knew they weren't good enough for you.
You’re attractive now
Jealousy is not always about the fear of them finding someone else, or fear of being replaced, or fear of letting go and being lonely. It can be the fear of wasted time, of trusting and being let down or taken as a fool, the inner knowing of that more and more present tendency of people looking the other side. You can be secure in yourself, but also feel jealous or fearful in a relationship.
Good point.
Sounds like a lot of attractive women develop fearful avoidant attachment style due to the positive/negative feedback loops they are experiencing. Becoming anxious/fearful avoidant basically bc of the traumas they have experienced in interacting with men or other friendships like female friends who are jealous.
This is spot on my experience with one I dated for a few months. She was a very attractive woman that had a lot of struggle with finding genuine connections and friends. She was horribly damaged from past relationships and friendships and was very vocal that she'd been taken for granted in the past. Lots of demons. It was so uncomfortable to her that I treated her like a human being while we dated. She talked how she was happy and grateful she met me and so appreciative that I saw her for who she was inside.
When I brought her out Salsa dancing a couple of times, random guys would go way out of their way to hit on her even though she was there with me, she found it very annoying. She even at one point was unsure if I was 'showing her off to my friends' after we had been connected. It was an important step to begin to introduce her to important and special people to me, but she couldn't tell the difference.
We began to trend towards exclusivity and creating a picture of how a potential relationship could look like (which she initiated and pushed for with me) after discussing and landing on the same page, she suddenly ghosted a couple of weeks later with no indication or warning. This was after 3 months of dating, not just one or two dates. She came across as a very insecure and tortured soul as cracks began to reveal themselves more and more as time went on.
She openly admitted that she struggled with vulnerability and she became very avoidant when that time came. I wish her well. It was very unfortunate and disappointing and heart breaking experience for me.
I had a tall, very beautiful model friend. She was the arab version of Brooke Shields. It was a circus to be around her. Everywhere we went in Chicago, even on the streets, men were crazy for her. 6 guys surrounding her at one party. I mean, I am cute, petite, blonde, an 8/10 at my best, but the men just dissed me. I was not jealous of her, but got tired of the circus and the men treating me like scraps. This is why other women don't want to stand next to beautiful women cause you look bad in comparison. She was nice but did not invest in our friendship, she just wanted the attention from guys, so I left.
Doesn't sound like she was very nice. If she started turning down the guys and focused on having a good time with the friend she had come out with, you might have stayed. Most of my friends are beautiful and we get attention when we're out, but from different ... demographic groups. Lol. Once the guys realise we aren't there for them, they leave us alone and we can focus on having fun with each other.
I've seen that often with women where one is very attractive and the other not that much. The attractive one gets validation because the vast majority of men prefer her over her friend while the other settles for "scraps", i.e. when two men approach them she is stuck with the less attractive one and she has to bare with him until her attractive friend decides what she wants to do with the attractive one.
Smart.
If not even one guy was trying to get with u then ur not an 8 prolly a 5 or 6 and there’s nothing wrong with that
@@VloneKid25bruh 😂
People talk about good looking women, good looking guys also have a similar experience. I grew up feeling like a piece of meat, girls wanting to sleep with me but too scared to date me. My neighbor walking up naked to my apartment, sleeping with girls within 3 hours of meeting them, all creating a warped view of women. You talk to a girl you like and she jumps to conclusions, you'll be a cheat, or whatever, makes it hard to date.
very true....as an attractive young man I never learnt the art of seduction...because I was constantly being seduced by women...even now at the age of 60 women are constantly hitting on me..
@kolafasade4572, you'll never be able to trust women, but that part isn't your fault.
I believe it. I worked with some good looking guys and other guys treated them poorly. I remember there was this tall white guy who people would define as a 'Chad' and the short Asian male manager would be very cold to him and would always be quick to jump on when he made mistakes. He looked like he enjoyed putting him down a little too much rather than actually helping him. Other guys would try to dominate him and order him around.
That sounds horrible. I’m sorry you had to go through all that.
Absolutely my experience. I'm 40 now and fit, dress well, still attractive etc and I've only just realized this. I didn't do well with girls and had some random hookups until my early twenties when I took the first hot girl that came along and liked me. Was with her for six years. In my 30s I learned game and unfortunately looking back I think it had the opposite of the intended effect. Game made me come across as a player type and just made girls more insecure and act worse than they may have normally. Still enjoyed myself and dated loads of women but never connected with many of them. Ones I did like got spooked that I would cheat and leave them. Have been pinned as a fvkboy a number of times despite giving no indication. To this day I get treated poorly by less attractive women and men or ignored completely. Women won't indicate they are interested in me and think I'm joking if I have interest in them. The only ones that do are the cougars that have zero reservations. Also in my effort to downplay any player vibes or not be intimidating, I began smiling too often and being too much of a nice guy sometimes which just made people wonder why I needed to do that. I actually had one girl I dated for a few years get very upset with me and tell me "you don't have to do that, why do you waste your time with that stuff" regarding game when I was explaining game tactics to her.
No one ever told me I was good looking except for gay dudes and photographers when I was younger. I grew up with a lot of insecurities that I'm sure many others have experienced. I know what it's like to be a hot chick and struggle. Strangely, the girls I get along with best are the hot ones that no one else will speak to.
Being an attractive woman and also being reserved and shy makes it really hard for being around other women and men. I’ve constantly received ideas that I am stuck up, pretentious, I think im too good compared to other women all because i’m quiet and then from men it’s consistent of like trying to get me or get into bed with me. I’m consistently having people trying to pick me apart upon first meeting and it’s just kind of like…… you end up with trust issues and kind of want to stay in the house all day
Agreee you speaking to me
Your Delusional right??
@@cv8z632😂 Damn bro, what are you trying to say
All this time I thought something was wrong with me, glad to know I'm not alone in this.
Yup
I love your videos Sadia, they're so so helpful and I can relate to them so much and feel so validated when I listen to you.
I agree that being beautiful mostly works against women because most women hurt you out of jealousy and men try to sleep with you and ofcourse all the pretty girl hate that comes with it isn't talked about enough in the era of feminism.
The most lonely & unlucky are women who are attractive & vulnerable. Socially & financially. Because then you're the perfect target for jealous women bullies & men who are looking to exploit. Attractive & rich women don't suffer as much as attractive & middle class/ poor women.
I'd love more podcasts on how middle class attractive women are vulnerable in so many ways.
Lots of love ❤
damn i think i'm considered an attractive middle class woman- I'm screwed huh :') absolutely agree we can be taken advantage of- I had to go through a lot of sh*tty situations that required me to build my own self awareness to protect myself. It's exhausting ngl
I have never felt more seen!!! This explains soooo much🥹🥹🥹🥹💜💜💜💜
I love this woman ! She speaks sooo much sense. When you are a magnet for the cocky, damaged and immature , people pin it all on you. Some women show the shadow in others just by being ourselves. People underestimate the intelligence we have built through people watching. True when she said , we lose our naivety. I so relate to this lady and the way she see's the world. I feel she speaks for me. What we have navigate, maaan ! Annd pretty privilege ? , have we not learned anything from Marilyin Monroe and Princess Diana, nothing , really ? And we know that the rich guys are the most insecure , most likely to be defensive !
I hear you. I was painfully shy when I was younger and found all the attention very difficult to deal with. People assumed I had it all and that I was very stuck up but nothing was further from truth. As for other women they would either quietly admire or be viciously jealous and antagonistic. I actually felt relieved when I reached middle age and could walk down the road without the constant unwanted attention.
It's always advantageous to be attractive than not, it's just a matter how you use it. Se, Sadia, is the full package - beautiful, intelligent, confident (I suppose) and so magnetic!
She is ❤
I've never had someone articulate this so well.. I absolutely agree with everything sadia said. Wow. Spot on.. this is my life.
It’s true, I’ve been seeing this beautiful woman at my gym. The other day we were talking at my gym. I noticed these other women staring at me. I noticed these same girls never looked at me before.
You make so much sense, Sadia. Thank you for your contributions to the UA-camsphere
Everything that Sadia has stated I've experienced: Jealous women, disrespectful men, people judging you before they know you. I've been sexually harassed at work, SA'd by a repairman, left at a party by a close female friend (and almost raped) because of jealousy... the list goes on and on. People think it's humble bragging, but it is really isolating and depressing... men use you, women hate you. And all you want is for people to see that you are actually a kind, empathetic and loyal person if they just got past the exterior. I had one ex tell me he only dealt with me because I was attractive. And no, that was not a compliment.
But why can't beauty be an access for personality discovery?
Why can't be a chance to make sure "this person is nice like she actually looks?"
she is giving out the hot girl secrets speaking from the source because she is beautiful and smart. She is a very high value female.
I’m actually more interested in her mind and thoughts more than her looks for me. Interesting conversation into what some women go through which being the middle child and only boy in my family I watch my older sisters go through it.
Lol same.
I'm not impressed. She's not saying anything that's a revelation. Her convo is just confirmation of what intelligent men already know already.
Y'all say looks don't matter but they do. If she's smart and beautiful she's superior to an ugly smart one
@@RoxyCherryRozy and y’all say you want a man to look at women as more than a pretty face. Then when we do it it’s a problem 🤦🏽♂️
@@charlesmcgruder4677 Well you see that's the rub!! If pretty wahman don't like the attention they could easily make themselves much much uglier. Try a Sulphuric Acid face wash. Guaranteed to remove your beauty in micro seconds.
OMG!! Yessss!!! This hits hard! On the flip side, as beautiful women it is up to us to set the boundaries. Thank you for this video ♥️
Beauty doesn’t last. The outer appearance that is. If one relies on physical beauty then they’ll end up being an empty shell and alone.
'Beautiful' woman don't set boundaries with extremely rich or famous men.
This feels like the most succinct and accurate summation; all verbalized so well! Thank you for this, it's very clarifying!
The opposite is also true! My son is ridiculously handsome, grown women would flirt/fawn over him when he was just 15! This led him to be very confused and over confident at the same time. It sounds crazy but one time we were in a shop when he was 15 and we bumped into the married woman (mid thirties with kids) of the couple that had bought our house the previous year and the whole interaction went from a polite 'hello, how's it going?' to her flirting and gasping over my son 🤦♂️ At the time it was a bit embarrassing but I was super proud of him. It's only looking back and from subsequent stories of shit he has been through because of his looks I realised it was both inappropriate and ridiculous. He's been abused, threatened and bullied by other blokes (many older) some of whom he didn't even know when out. He's had mates get super shitty with him when they have a new girlfriend and seen him as a threat (he isn't as not a creeper). His girlfriends have usually been super insecure because of how other girls are with him (not encouraged or his fault) so they get angry at him. He's also weirdly been picked on by women because he didn't fancy or make a move on them when they fancied him (which he was completely oblivious to). I'm not saying your heart should bleed because he's insanely handsome as it's obviously helpful in life but he's had a lot of negative shit through it as well. Fantastic looks can be tricky for both men and women.
''one time we were in a shop when he was 15 and we bumped into the married woman (mid thirties with kids) of the couple that had bought our house the previous year and the whole interaction went from a polite 'hello, how's it going?' to her flirting and gasping over my son''
If a 15 year old girl was in a shop and a married men in his 30's with kids started flirting and gasping over her he would be call a dirty old man or a paedophile
@@yeldarleumas1847 welcome to society. women can't harm men, only men can harm women. such is society's norms on interaction between the sexes.
@@aztekenen1 👏🙏
TheForgotten so do women ask your son out or ask for his #?
@@NealIRC Well girls his own age (20 now) yes, but the weird over the top fawning from women in 30's and 40's is just odd and makes him feel understandably uncomfortable
Jung would say that Hot women are more often staring into the abyss because of the confrontation with male cowardliness and lustfulness and most stay bitter about it.
The Brighter she shines, The Darker the shadow she casts
The shadow being all the negative garbage from other people. That's an awesome saying 👏 👍 thanks
Dr sadia heart is beautiful.. Much more then her looks
I am reading these comments and seeing that a lot of people don’t understand the disadvantages of being (conventionally) attractive. For example, you have to get used to being stared at and never spoken to, women you don’t even know treating you with such vitriol, the unjustified assumption that your life is perfect, as though you have a public responsibility to entertain others due to your looks. They are always waiting for your reaction to them. It’s too much.
This was so helpful in understanding the psychology of other attractive women - women who don’t have a choice and are always attractive.
Kind of true, what I've seen is that very beautiful women get asked out mostly by persistent men confident enough to approach them. That limits the suitors pond, it doesn't mean these are bad men either, they are confident. Then there are men who purposely ignore or treat the woman harshly for no reason at all, as if angry at them, maybe self protection.
Btw I am referring to naturally beautiful women, the lucky few who wake up that way w/o accruements or surgery - not the flashy 'hot' women who purposely dress/behave provocatively garnering tons of attention. That lifestyle is a choice, something most women can achieve if they work at it.
These naturally beautiful women get harassed a lot, usually starts in childhood/tweens by unstable men not able to control themselves. So for their first interactions in a sxual sense are negative if not frightening. Men want sx from her, are not concerned about her personally so the defensive self-protective walls go up.
Most of these women mature , adjust, and deal with it as an asset given to them and don't let it define them. Some do not and rely on it as a get-out-of-jail-free card, these are the ones to avoid.
Although I really relate to these experiences, and do not dress flashy. I feel really ugly. Am I? Oh god. Insecurity actually develops more when all your life everything people comment on is your looks.
I’m a 32 year old female and attractive, but I’m also extremely kind, giving and caring. I’m having so much trouble finding a good partner and I do tend to attract time wasters and creeps. I also seriously struggle with female friends :( please leave me advice :(
Try harder to connect with women! You’re putting out defensive signals and not making an effort to make a friend ! Genuinely!
Read the book “not nice”
Stick with your morals and values. Don't ever compromise, the right man for you will come along when you are busily and happily going about your life. I would like to say it gets easier as you age with female friends, but unless you get married, it doesn't. I personally spend time educating myself, travel, business, and hobbies that my life is full and complete. I have a lovely, very small, tight-knit group of male friends, but I am still working on the female friends' side of things. I won't hold my breath or change either. Good luck, my dear but just stay true to you and I'm sure you will attract a partner and friends in good time. 😊❤
@@lizhindley ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ thank you. I wish things were easier 😞
@@MaybejustNarbeany advice for women who are not attractive? How do they succeed?
@Sadia Khan This was a really good! The difference between you speaking on this in comparison to others is that you're speaking on this from a licensed professional point of view combined with a lived personal experience as well. Well done, very informative and helpful to many for everyone's understanding. No one has it easy or goes thru life unscathed, regardless if they're an attractive woman or a rich man.
Oh my gosh sadia its amazing how much yk about everything and its that deep and crystal clear. Its like u have been in a effed up relationship and now ur the guru and you know what to do when to do whats going on its crazy
I love this! So true! I guess it explains why I do not have many female friends and I mostly have male. Also I find the only guys I get are the abusive narcissistic type. 😢
a mind-blowing part was when Sadia said that hot gals activate short-term strategies in male minds. this might be my issue, even though I definitely don't perceive myself as hot, just hear it from guys.
Around 4:15: "It's MUCH MORE difficult for a beautiful bombshell-type woman once she hits MIDDLE-AGE!! The plainer women just accept it as reality, but it's much more difficult for beautiful women.. it had AUTOMATICALLY become a large part of their IDENTITY!!"
Thank you, Sadia and Chris, for putting out this clip - for VALIDATING something that MANY AVERAGE-LOOKING women, once they get to middle-age, HAVE TROUBLE ADMITTING. It's as if they don't understand, don't empathize with or refuse to admit the differences in this experience!! Thank you so much!!
It's worth noting that many "beautiful" women are also intelligent and socially skilled, so they are women with substance and NOT superficial, at heart. Even if they have a lot going for them and/or much to be grateful for, their identity surrounding their looks remains, to a large extent, no matter their age. Especially if that identity was given to them by others on a regular basis throughout the years...
Most average women don't even look after themselves. And I don't consider sexy/brassy/beachbomb women beautiful. Real beauty doesn't completely fade in my opinion.
there are tons of beautiful women 45 and up. someone who dresses nicely and takes care of themselves will always be treated better by society. the lady in the video will be perceived as beautiful even at 70, but instead of hotness, it will be class and grace that are in the foreground.
having beauty and style as part of your identity will be beneficial to most.
Being beautiful is sad.. since school you get bullied by other girls & guys just care about the looks. Just like that as life goes , everyone tries to humble you one way or another, bc all they see if your face & not your substance & assume you got a perfect life etc
Don't worry, ugly people get bullied a lot too!
Looks are always a thing to certain types of people, good or bad looks, it really doesn't matter that much.
Sadia, I've seen a few of your videos, and I must say that you hit the nail on the head, nearly all the time (well, 'all' of the time that I've watched, but I can't say for sure of course, so can't sensibly lay claim to 100%). But I'm impressed by your insight and understanding; and not JUST from the female perspective, but the male's too. I respect anyone who obviously reflects and 'thinks', or analyses things. So really, hats off to you. You understand more than many other so-called psychologists. I'll be subscribing to your channel after this. X
I met a rich man semi recently (he came to my work), and he tried to promise me flights across the world, $500 dinners in exchange for companionship. We literally JUST met. But he came to me so aggressively the first time we spoke, and I told him I didn't feel respected... he also seemed so spiteful the more I talked to him. When I politely kept turning him down, he kept coming in, chasing, and the insults started coming. He talked to me about "my value" and how it would be "smart" for me to go out with him. It just shocked me, because I told him I'd rather go on a cheap but cute date, and actually have a connection. We had nothing but his attraction toward me and his money. I'm not an item. Money doesn't mean much to me anymore, especially after that encounter. Men like this scare me... money doesn't mean squat unless you want a gold digger. And looks will only get you so far. We need CONNECTION, not surface level things..
Why not tell him you slept with a lotta guys, and see if that causes him to lose interest (next time).
Uh huh
Sounds like Lucifer trying to tempt Christ during his pilgrimage
Look y'all, I figured you needed an update: This man came BACK not only with more money (he tips super well ughh) but got his brother to tell me how I'm silly/too cautious for not meeting him outside of work. Just SMH.
........Pray for me, I'm trying to get out of the service industry :/
@@Forest__Dream stay safe out there
My brother shared a student house with a very attractive ‘Medic ‘ she recruited him, to be go , outside the house ,, to stop young men hitting on her everywhere she went . Full range of men , all types. All she wanted to do was walk to class ,do the shopping and go to the student bar , without interference.
This explains my life a lot! Most Women hate me but both women and men can’t take there eyes off me
So shallow. I would never hate my friend because she is pretty. Seems weird to me.
She’s not lying however I’ll take being a genuinely beautiful woman over any other ‘type’. Yes, you do see the darker side of humans since you’re usually very magnetic and attract the good, the bad and the ugly. Now, if you’re also beautiful on the inside as well, you tend to hella-trigger people to. But with all that exposure to the dark, comes with the light of insight and wisdom into human psychology. After a while, you easily detect whom to avoid. As long as you are careful, the pros of being a beautiful woman outweigh the cons… by far!!
While most men will have their heads turned by a beautiful woman, even if in a relationship with another beautiful woman, they won't cheat if they value and truly love the woman they're with even if she's not as beautiful as the woman that turned their head and they have the opportunity. True love is hard to find and if you've lost it once or twice you tend to cherish it if you are lucky enough to get another chance at it. No harm though in discreetly admiring the beauty of other women or men if you are a woman. We are all human.
being attractive makes me hated by certain group of women I'm not sure why now i understand. Sometimes it feels like, I try go to them, make friends with them, but they not keen to be friends and staying away and not being friendly only to me, but too friendly on others. Only attractive girls that always were nice to me, and i feel like they like me a lot. Those movies plot where the pretty girl are the meanest, I don't think it relate to my world. It's always the least unattractive girls that's always the meanest to me, and the attractive pretty girls, are the sweetest, soft and so nice to me!
those people who are unnecessarily mean to you are feeling insecure about themselves because they are already comparing themselves to you and if you stay around long enough, they'll build a negative narrative and dig pointers to justify their hostile treatment towards you.
I don't even see myself as attractive I'm just decent, others though told me I'm attractive, and I'll get the isolation treatment from day 1. Younger me didn't understand this and try to make myself smaller and people please to fit in. But since then I decided to just continue be myself regardless, genuine people will find their way to you.
Right the attractive girls are he nicest
This was quite interesting actually! First time on this channel and enjoyed the discussion. Good points! A major differentiator I have noticed in women is if they had a present father or not and good relationship to him. There are also so many red flags out there, at least 1/6 or so are probably crossing into personality disorder. Guys need to be very selective and actively screening on personality!
As a pretty woman, I can say it never helped me. Its a myth that its helping you somehow. I do not want inappropriate attention from men. At the same time normal guys are afraid to make a first step because they think they dont have a chance. Last years it started to be annoying to hear You are so pretty. Or: you are so beautiful, I dont understand why you are single. Because its not connected. If you are pretty, it doesnt mean you are in a happy relationship.
I forgot to mention doctors, instructors, coaches, bosses, men with mental issues, narcissists, stupid jokes from my friends’ bf. When I was 20 I didnt know how to react. Now at least I can defend myself. As a result I learnt to be less feminine in certain situations. Like not to attract attention.
Ok, so why not take a first step towards men that YOU are interested in?
''I do not want inappropriate attention from men''..........Unless he's filthy rich , fantastic looking or the 'bad' boy type
''Don't listen to what women say, watch what they do.''
@@AngelOnEarth0614nuh just too egotic for rejwc😅
@@djeanpierre never. We don’t need to
Thank you for posting this video! Your opinion is en pointe. Attractive women at ANY age (defined by each culture’s societal expectations) owning their femininity, embracing their looks and sexuality as a topic is taboo to openly discuss and debate in a healthy way in our society. It was refreshing for me to hear both of their opinions and experiences.
But you have to admit that BOMBSHELL-type women gradually lose those verbal accolades from others around their mid-forties or fifties.... simply because we look forty yo if we didn't have any work done!!!
Age plays a SIGNIFICANT role in whether females are viewed as 'bombshells' - NOT just looks!! That's part of the reason why 'this topic is taboo,' as you stated. It's NOT something stereotypically gorgeous sexy middle-aged women can bring up to their more average-looking female peers, in contrast, and IRL, sitting around the dinner table. They'll either get offended, not empathize or simply NOT understand because their experiences with attention were completely different. Don't you agree that's part of the reason the topic is taboo IRL, in person?
@@elisabeth4342 Nothing is ever black or white, much less age and aging in and of itself. Nuances to include in the conversation are culture, ageism, sexism, stereotypes, socio-economic status, education, generation...our bodies wear and tear as a result of the aging process. How we take care externally and internally is a personal decision. Some take better care while others, not so much. Societal expectations of women are harsh, and high on the list is attractiveness. Because of these societal expectations having public discourse on topics such as looks makes it taboo in some circles. So what? Choose whom to speak with and give credit to wisely. Focus solely on looks, and due to aging looks fade. But those who want to maintain a healthy outer look and healthy inner look throughout their aging process...go for it. It's a personal choice. The opposite is true, too. Focusing on substance, and keep learning, growing, and stretching is where the real beauty is at.
@@interruptingaging As far as culture, the stereotypical bombshell-types have the idealistic measurements and shapes of old-school swimsuit models, calendar models, iconic Playboy Playmate centerfold models and POSSIBLY some old-school professional fitness models!!! It has little to do with race, ethnicity, socioeconomic status, or even certain physical features (height, for example).
Bombshell-types also have more stereotypical beautiful and/or commercially beautiful faces - according to others IRL or professional/promotional modeling agencies. These are usually the main features that make a female either a bombshell or just attractive - at any age. But, as Sadia suggested in the video clip, the difficulty lies in having to adjust to the gradual dwindling of a previous overabundance of attention.
That's a pretty difficult adjustment to make, for bombshell types, AFTER MANY YEARS of accolades, admiration, SEXUAL interest, etc.. She was giving validation to the FACT that the bombshell types will have MORE DIFFICULTY adjusting to middle-age than her plainer counterparts! Wasn't THAT validation good to read (for you)?? Because I've known that some of the people/females closest to me will NOT be able to emphasize or sympathize with me on this! Which means I CAN'T talk to them about it. I have limited people to confide in about it.
@@interruptingaging It's NOT A PERSONAL CHOICE like you suggest. Stereotypical bombshell types have a MUCH LARGER ADJUSTMENT to make once they hit their mid-forties or fifties compared to women who more average-looking in their prime years.
@@elisabeth4342There's NOTHING to admit... 🙈 Women can be gorgeous at ANY age... I know several insanely beautiful women in their 50s (and older!) who still get those verbal accolades and are hit on by (much younger) guys - without having any surgical work done whatsoever... People's minds are so preoccupied and the public opinion so biased when it comes to "older" women... 😳🙄 Beauty is in the eye of the beholder anyway...
I don’t see myself as beautiful or attractive. I get along with women, and I thought with men. But, it seems like I get looks from men but they don’t come up to me. Or I get men eyeing me but they have women. It seems like only obnoxious men seem to have the confidence to talk to me and ask me to go out.
Lately, I’ve been disappointed that men I thought were friends were actually trying to get me to get physical with them. Or, I’ve found others were actually married or had a significant other and were being deceptive, not honest nor truthful, not upfront nor forthright. Games. It’s very upsetting.
I’ve experienced men trying to get my attention while I’m with another man. Quite rude.
Such superficial relationships are pretty underwhelming.
The best kind of beautiful women are the ones that don't know how beautiful they are and are, perhaps, a bit socially awkward or nerdy. I think those used to be more common before the age of selfies and Instagram.
Why, so you can take advantage of them easier?
@@JR-rf9sq More like she will be more likely to be down to earth, less high-maintenance, up for doing goofy things and not looking at her phone every three seconds.
@@norwegianblue2017 A woman can know how beautiful she is and still be down to earth, not high-maintenance and goofy and not look at her phone for three seconds. You seem to want some sort of power over the woman you date, that she can only be considered truly beautiful if you get to decide she is. There is a different kind of beauty when a woman knows she is beautiful, but isn't arrogant about it. It's called self-respect and confidence.
@@alissa773 Yes, these women exist.
I wish more people were aware what we go through. life would be so much easier if people understood how it really is.
shes is a bad role model. but she is good at explaining the psychology.. she is old and single why will u put someone asa role model who is an abject failure
Sorry, but I’m not buying it. It is hard to be attractive even if you were born with good genetics (which is rare) because you have to go out of your way by spending time, money, and effort, to maintain and enhance your appearance. If being beautiful was such a burden, well, looking ugly is easy - just let yourself go. Looking ugly is the default for the majority of people, so if being pretty was soooo difficult, then you would just stop being pretty. Who does this? Almost no one voluntarily makes themselves look uglier (maybe on a temporary basis for a specific occasion or a specific reason, but who deliberately ruins their appearance permanently? No one).
It’s like hearing a rich person complain about the problems of being too rich. If being rich was really that problematic, then the solution is simply: give all of your money away and stop being rich. Who does this? No one.
@@randyg22152Go heal.
@@awesum39she is a married woman 😂
Well she’s definitely not talking about you hun if that’s you in the profile pic . No need for you to be worried 😅
I think your analyses are very insightful and useful. Thank you.
I'm so inside of my head all of the time and in my own world, that I didnt realize this till like, 3-4 years ago. And im almost 40. People are so threatened when they see a good looking woman WHO'S SINGLE. I was married before, now divorced. I dont think marriage is for everybody. Ive never dumbed myself down, or ponytail'd & sweats myself for the sake of friends or being less threatening or whatever. Which is probqbly why im a loner. Im now realizing how much that has bothered people😂. And being comfortable with myslef bothers people MORE. I just mind my business little do they know im not even thinking about them or their man, im thinking should i buy that purse i saw the day before. Silly rabbits. 😂
You keep doing you, sister. Don't dim your light for anyone. I personally am not dating either just to have friends. I get satisfaction out of so many other interesting hobbies and interests in life. 😊
😂😂 the assumption of the women here.....they think they are the women being discussed here.
@@kasimshaikh3750bruh it’s hilarious. That’s how you know they havent experienced being really attractive. It comes with more benefits than not. The comment section is filled with these “really attractive” women who think they’re the ones being talked about 💀💀
Absolutely. I quit dating altogether due to the current attitudes of the men I run across. I am a spiritual and successful person, which intimidates the weak. I am fine on my own. If men want to date someone like me, they need to be self aware and constantly improving. That's a tall order for users and losers.
Embrace lesbianism 🙏
Beyond thankful that Sadia is talking about this. She knows it well, and now I know nothing was wrong with me when I tried to pursue friendships with women and always got rejected. I used to always think that “I’m being a weirdo” or something because whenever I tried to make new connections, the women would always withdraw, seemingly for no reason.
This realization brings me so much comfort. But still, I am sad that I cannot have any close/good friends and mostly live a very lonely life full of prejudice toward me. I get called names and my problems always get downplayed because “you’re so pretty why do you complain?” or people assume I’m rich because I’m pretty and use that to nag me as well.
So I never vent, I never open up, I do not share my achievements or show/share my outfit/mani etc; all the things that women do between themselves because I do not want to stand out, get ignored, downplayed or make anyone insecure/unfomfortable.
Omg that explains so much why i am the way i am. When i had guy friends, their gf hate me. Some guys already had gf but still hit on me, i didn’t even like them but got hated by his gf and her classmates. Some approached me as a friend but then confessed that he had a crush on me and when i couldn’t accept his feeling, i was hated and lost my friend. High school was a nightmare for me and that experience still affecting my personality until now
'Some guys already had gf but still hit on me,'
A female doesn't have to be 'hot' for a man to hit on hit on her....even if he has a girlfriend or a wife. He just wants a bit of no strings ''romance''
@@yeldarleumas1847 yesh but most are
That's why hidjab is mandatory in Islam.
Not only cover your hair but also your body, so the people treat you for your character and not for your physical appearance. I started wearing hidjab for a year now. I feel more comfortable with it. I still look pretty. But I got less lustful attention. I still attract attention from men and women.
Love this ! Although many arab womens faces are so stunning !
The purpose of hijab is also differentiate between the slave women and free women . Slave women are not allowed to wear hijab . The awrah of a slave women is from her navel to the knees same as that of a free man and a slave man . The awrah of a free Muslim woman is her whole body . Until the 20th century topless male and female slaves were traded in slave markets in Makkah and medina the historical photographs show this .
@@rowenaravenclaw3483 you know that prophet Muhammad ended slavery back then. It was common all over the world. But Islam forbid it.
So don't spread lies.
So is there anything the men wear that allows us to less lustful towards them?
@@jdcharlie yes there is.
They are not allowed to show the belly button and the parts below and their ankles must be seen. Like Steve Urkle style. Also they should wear a beard but not a mustache. This is not allowed. The beard should be one fist length. They wear a small topi. Which is like a thing head. Or a turban. The head should be covered.
They also should wear loose cloth.
Almost like long wide dresses or big camisa. I don't know how to explain it in English. But yes for men and women there are rules.
But for me it really feels better. Now since I moved to a tropical country I thought oh my if I start wearing the hidjab now, I'm gonna sweat as hell. Actually it's the opposite. I sweated more in a tight tank top or a lose t shirt. It was mind blowing. 6 month I dressed like before in this tropical area and now it's already 1 year with Hidjab.
It's actually cooler. Cause my skin doesn't get heated up. My body temperature is more stable.
It's also a protection from the sun. Not only lusting men.
Of course men still react to me. But it's different.
I don't feel naked while being stared at. It's fwels way less humiliating.
You just explained to me my wife’s mindset after 36 years of marriage. I love her more than ever but her self loathing over her looks fading is causing her to lash out at everyone. It’s destroying our relationship.
Tell her you love no matter what...
@@georgeelder8415 Its like advice of 10 year old. More than sure he tried that. Honestly, there is nothing much he can do. Unfortunetly it will get worse... to the point where she will destroy the relationship
shouldve vetted wife better for an actual personality
Leave she’s most likely cheated on you and is mad she doesn’t get validation from the masses anymore. Game is game. If your love was enough she would forget to wear makeup like every woman that actually loved me did. Also I cheated on most of my ex’s and I’ve been dating an Italian model for the last two years trust me women will neglect their looks when they’re in love. Better yet get a lie detector test and if I’m right I will buy you a stripper for an hour
5 REPLIES
This is the best most accurate mature explanation I’ve ever heard!
As a “pretty” girl, it really resonated with me when she said that people look for your flaws (the negative) a lot. As soon as I walk into a room, I can already hear and see other women and men judging me. Women are threaten by you immediately and act low key rude to you from the start. And men see you as a trophy to conquer. I’ve had several people mock me for getting “something done” yet I’ve never had plastic surgery. Plus I feel like once you’ve reached a certain threshold of pretty, there is less privilege and more bitterness from people. Even my current bf thought I would be a shallow bimbo when we met. People tend to already label you even before meeting or talking to you. And when you confine to others with these concerns, they just think you’re ridiculous for even having them. I’ve had women I’ve never met say the nastiest of things about me just because they’re insecure. Men often do not respect you and say vulgar things. And the list goes on. But often it’s a curse.
Beautiful people of both genders see the worst in people.
Hot guys have the same experience too.
I'm glad she came along to add some actual knowledge to this conversation. The red pill guys are so annoying at this point and just seem to go off vibes and not science.
Everything you say is true and another reason why men don't get along well in a relationship where women have more income, is because majority of successful women start to lose their feminine characteristics, they become more aggressive, they command and make their own decisions, they want to be leaders. In their eyes a kind of underestimation begins and this atmosphere makes a man feel disrespected.
You are correct, but this will never get mentioned on a podcast like this because anything that paints women in a less flattering way is ignored and they pretend that women are angels from heaven, capable of no wrong.
As a woman I can agree. I had to learn to switch back to “sweet” after a long work day surrounded by male colleagues only, and to underplay my achievements. You can say it’s not fair, but I rather have good sex with my husband, a great relationship AND be successful ;;;)
@@lisaa2104 I wish you happy relationship 🙂
@@David-fw4ly Some podcasts can do this, but not Sadia, she never accepts a woman's bad behavior, on the contrary, she criticizes and educates them. Listen carefully to all her podcasts and you will understand better.
I just realized that us "plain" people are the most free of them all. My husband and I have no insecurity with one another because we recognize that we're on the same playing field, and we don't value material or aesthetic things as much as others. We don't have to care about much outside of being healthy and loving one another to the fullest.
omg this is gold, modern gold, and too it's like you're finding it as we watch. ...and the whole positive irony in the set up - that Sadia is, and quite extraordinarily. thank you both, tremendous..
Let’s be clear though, anyone on this planet would prefer to be beautiful than ugly. Life is so much easier when you’re good looking for both sexes.
One of the best compliments I have received was a girl introducing me as 'Girls don't like pretty girls, but she's so nice, it's impossible not to like her'. I don't remember a time when I didn't get attention for being attractive because it began in primary school. It was around grade 7 that I noticed girls starting to treat me a bit differently. I started getting feedback like 'until I got to know you, I thought you were a snob'. I knew that was a misrepresentation and I went on to correct it by turning into a Phoebe-type character (yes, from the TV series FRIENDS). A lot of my humour was self-deprecating and it was never hard to find material for it because I did have low self-esteem anyway. None of this sounds healthy 🤣 but this goofy version of me put the girls around me at ease - the awkwardness just went away.
If you're a pretty girl, try not acting like one. That doesn't mean you have to dress down. You can wear your six inch heels and your red lipstick, but just do the chicken dance for a bit when the music comes on. 😅I know a gorgeous model who has the same sort of vibe and I don't know a single person, man or woman, who doesn't love her to bits.
I totally get what she is saying about pretty women having the worst experiences with men. Men are trickier to work with on this because they aren't thinking with their brains, are they? Women, on the other hand, will see you as something besides a self-absorbed bimbo if you let them.
Of course, some women are just terrible people and they'll dislike you just because and no matter what, but if you're one of those women who have NO female friends and you think this is because you are really pretty, you probably need to work on yourself.
Love the ‘do the chicken dance’ advice 😂
I wish I could meet you. You described my childhood experiences with girls and guys. And yes I have this goofy and sweet personality most people can’t ignore. But I definitely deemed my light too much when I was younger for the sake of getting along. I sometimes with I were the snob people anticipated.
I did the chicken dance last Saturday with a new group of girl friends 😂
Could the silly “chicken dance” be a form of performative self deprecating social behavior? This would totally work for a woman who was naturally a goof ball. Not so much for ones who are naturally reserved or shy. Either way it’s not a woman’s job to make others less intimidated of her.
@@beesworld04 you still have your whole life ahead of you to correct that. You can shine, dress to kill, allow your intelligence to show and no one will resent you as long as you do the chicken dance every now and then! 😅
Ohmygosh, while I never considered myself a hot girl I also experienced this sense, (since a very young age.) I was often demoralized by the realization that "that guy" didn't want kindness, or my compassion, or my true self but was just seeking looks. :( Now as a mature adult, pushing the back half of 50 years old, I realize how a lifetime of this has left its mark. Sign me a sensitive sweet who is an inadvertent crazy girl too. However, boundaries are good but, bananas behavior is not fair to the other person. OH and absolutely on other women. Feeling the repercussions from insecure, malicious, machinating women has been brutal. I value women who are genuine. I think "pretty privilege" only works within the realm of "average pretty." Just as with intelligence there is a level of diminished effects. If someone is too far above average intelligence then average intelligence people see them as cooky, or weird even, (at times.) So, when not just pretty for average but above average pretty then the effects of privilege don't really seem to mete out.
Completely can related. Being a very attractive woman the amount of married/taken men that hit on me daily is scary. Makes me never trust anyone.
They hit on you because they want to start drama in your life. They have no intention of marrying you and leaving their wife. It's basically like an experiment. I've heard stories of girls (and it has happened to me) where when the guy was single he wouldn't hit on them, but when he was married or in a relationship he would. I think it's to bring choas and havoc into the woman's life because the man is probably jealous because he's in a miserable loveless fucking marriage that he regrets so he's resentful so he wants to bring chaos into other people's life's because he can and he will.
I am so grateful for this video. It validates my experiences so very much. I’ve tried very hard to explain to my family that beauty isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, sometimes I feel it’s a curse and makes it very hard to acquire good friends even. It’s sort of… lonely.
And the worse part is when I first vocalized this… all I ever heard was basically “oh poor pitiful you.. you’re too pretty.. that must be soooo hard” 🥴😑
Well, AFAIK, finding good real life friends is pretty much an issue of this day and age, with all the toxic social media crap...
And yes, talking about something that bothers you is often replied with anything along the lines of "stop complaining". I mean, I have frequent headaches due to permanent sleep deprivation, but hardly ever mention it anymore, because it almost always gets downplayed (there's always something worse after all) or in some cases I get treated as some sort of charity case.
Attractive women who don't treat beauty as only one aspect of life & revolve their entire existence around it will become a total mess as they get older. As attention & pretty privillages start to go down, most of them will start to do crazy stuff to regain them & fill the void.
The video just refers to a tiny segment of the population. A physically beautiful woman with a shallow or toxic personality is still a shallow or toxic woman. No man with any sense will want to have a relationship with a woman like that.
As an attractive woman , Just ignore someone said you re bad. Be yourself.
Every point is 💯 accurate and I really wish this type of information was shared in even elementary school. Girls are so burdened by the opinions of others with other girls being mean to them and we don’t know why or boy saying certain things to them. This is really priceless. Thank you.