If you want to stay out of the friend zone, two words: Sexual Innuendo. You don't have to be obnoxious, like every other sentence, but if there's an opening, TAKE IT!! Even if you fail to make a connection, there's NO WAY you will get stuck in the friend zone. Just by some playful sexual innuendo you will have made your intentions crystal clear. If she's cool with that, NO JOKE seduction is next.
@@t5396 Oh yeah, he was the king of flirting with hotties. I tell everyone I know who has trouble flirting with girls they meet, I CAN SCHOOL YOU, but you're better off just watching old C.F. clips.
With all due respect Sadia. There seems to be an underlying cynicism in your whole philosophy. The way you speak of women is as if every last one of them have little to no empathy or compassion whatsoever for a man in a moments weakness, uncertainty or vulnerability; and would even go so far as to hate and resent him for it. Implying that, even if she didn’t admit that that was the truth that she would be lying to herself. That’s probably one of the most cynical things I’ve ever heard. What you haven’t factored into your philosophy is how a couple’s relationship will change from one of demanding absolute strength & perfection from each other at all times to having compassion for one another as they get older. Because your body will start fall apart, you will get sick, you will get old and you will die. And there doesn’t seem to be any talk or room for compassion for one another in your philosophy about men and women. There is another deeper more profound relationship level that you seem to be unaware of where people transcend the selfish superficial things-all the riches, looks, status, beauty & sex-that cynics would say make them secretly or blatantly resentful of each other. The way you speak of relationships is as if they were some wealthy men & women’s business transaction or acquisition. The marriage vows, “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part” wouldn’t be possible without compassion. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails.
Experienced divorce lawyer here. In my experience, nearly all heterosexual women want a strong, masculine man with strong boundaries and who can take the lead. If you are a guy reading this, level up in all areas of your life. Be willing to walk away from anyone or anything that no longer aligns with your life or goals. Don’t be a doormat. Set boundaries. Never tolerate shit testing. You can thank me later.
@stevenbrown6593 it is okay to get involved with someone who has genuine burning desire for you and you have genuine burning desire for them. I do not suggest getting married in most jurisdictions.
Agreed. And don't level for women. Level up for yourself. Women need to prove themselves to you too. Don't make her think it's all about her. All of our feces look the same.
@stevenbrown6593why would he do that? He's a DIVORCE lawyer. He WANTS you to get married, and he NEEDS that marriage to fail. Don't listen to a fucking word coming out of a lawyer's mouth; they're all lies.
i loved her line that “when women are in love with a man, thry can’t help but play stupid games” 😂. it’s true except it’s also self sabotage & a wise secure man will inevitably always walk away. he’s looking for comfort, not drama
A regulated and secure woman won’t do that. Specially if you have worked trough your pain. We also want comfort and need the protection and stability the man provides so we will “behave”
I’m jealous of you guys that have access to all this info/help. I wish I had access to this when I was young . I made so many mistakes ,and yeah I also grew up without my dad. When he was around, all I saw was them fight, and he constantly cheated. I told myself I wouldn’t treat women like he did, but I went too far with it and it lead to me getting walked over without realizing what I was doing wrong. I’m old now and won’t get those years back, but my hope is that you young men learn these lessons early ,cuz you have no excuses now. I hope you have more fun in this stage of life than I did. I want ya’ll to WIN.
I don't know how old you are but I am 58 and head over heels for a strong guy who is 65. My father passed away at 97 this February. He was still interested in having a romantic relationship. Why don't you take what you have learned and go find someone?
Thank you. Don't ever think that it's over, or you have lived your life and all is finished. You are alive, doing well, healthy and that's mighty fine. ❤
Hahahaha meanwhile I just got out of a long-term relationship and I'm watching this video and I look like the meme of that lady trying kombucha for the first time 😂
The problem is that men who assert their authority in relationships with women are labeled as controlling, domineering, and misogynistic. If the man doesn't assert his authority, women label him as weak and lacking masculinity. While it is important that men establish boundaries with how they are treated by women and other men, this is only one part of the puzzle. The other part that is rarely discussed on this topic is a woman's unwillingness to be submissive to a man's authority. Many modern women adopt the feminist mindset. They are taught to be strong and independent and that they don't need men. Men are often disrespected by the media, society, and women. Men are portrayed as weak and incompetent and should feel lucky to even have a woman. With this feminist and cultural mindset, women disrespect men and refuse to be submissive to a man's authority. They will constantly shit test or disrespect men in relationships. If men exude masculine authority, the women will label him as controlling, domineering, aggressive, or emotionally abusive. Its a no win for men. Modern women want to have their cake and eat it too. Modern women want traditional masculine men, but they aren't traditional feminine women. The majority of modern women (specifically in the US) are narcissist, spoiled, self-entitled, self-absorbed, superficial, materialistic, promiscuous, untrustworthy, disloyal, and delusional. These women lack traditional feminine traits like humility, integrity, loyalty and compassion which are condusive to a healthy relationship. Men are essentially dealing with self-entitled, spoiled children who never take accountability for their behavior. Men shouldn't have to raise children trapped in an adult female body. Most men are willing to set boundaries but it problematic when you are dealing with a woman who is always trying to work against you. Modern women are constantly trying to be in competition with men instead of being supportive partners. Modern women are constantly adding drama to relationships instead of bringing peace and stability. Modern men have their issues but men are willing to work on themselves and take accountability. Modern women on the other hand are told they are perfect from birth (especially attractive women) and they have no incentive to improve themselves and take accountability for their behavior. Modern women only focus on external superficial qualities while neglecting the internal intrinsic core values that would make them good partners. Bottomline is men need to establish boundaries with women, but women are making this extremely difficult by not being feminine and submissive. This is why there is a growing trend in men avoiding relationships with women. Men are just tired of the BS. Men have good reasons for avoiding relationships with women such as biased divorce laws and the rise of promiscuous and disloyal women. I would argue that "nice" men who do not assert authority and set boundaries is only a small part of the problem with current dating market. The main problem is actually the rise of low value women... to the shock and horror of our culture who blames every problem in society on men. Sadly, the average modern woman is not a good, reliable long-term partner nowadays. She's more than likely narcissist, self-entitled, self-absorbed, disloyal, promiscuous and unwilling to be a supportive partner. There are still high value women out there but unfortunately, they are overshadowed by the low value women. Good luck guys
How accurately you've summarized it all, congratulations! But I see few ways out of this mess, especially out of the existing and overpowering feminist bias nowadays.
All in all, I guess that maybe the best way out of this all-encompassing mess is to find a nice 'old-school' type-of-mentality girl (if at all possible) and set up a strong and hopefully happy commitment with her (whose bases must be renewed and talked over now and then). Talking about myself, I managed to reach a girl like this through Christian prayer, in case this advice may be of any help to you.
I used to be friend zoned because I do not wear masks. I preferred authenticity, but women preferred to play mental games for people who want entertainment. I knew I was not good for courtship. I was better suited to be a husband. It is nice when after a few years of marriage your wife tells you "I am more in love now than when I married". A relationship is built by two people. There is some initial basic element of "compatibility" to meet each other. But relationships are built. Drama is for teenagers. Adult people fix problems talking. No one can guess what is in each other's mind.
My advice to men is to just be yourself. Don't change who you are for a woman, because most of them are scarred and confused anyway lol. I've had women call me too aggressive and women who have thought I was just "nice" and I leave both alone. Don't drive yourself insane trying to be something for a woman. The ones that make you do that are not worth it.
I really wish I could have read your comment about 10 years ago lol. I was always considered the nice guy, the guy that girls could talk to but never go out with because I was "too nice". So, I changed myself to be like other guys that girls found attractive and guess what that back fired. Now, I'm considered a jerk or and asshole. I realize now that changing myself for these type of women was totally pointless and now I really feel like an ass for doing so
Being Nice, whilst not being weak is being confident and self assured with who you are, period. It’s not about how we (I’m a male) treat women, it’s about how we treat ourselves. Same applies for the women.
My own life with an absent father confirms what Sadia is saying. Being a nice guy was absolutely detrimental, causing much resentment on my side. Fortunately, I changed this dynamic. But listen to both. They speak truth
That is because single mothers are raising us. My mother try to tell me how to treat women yet my father and stepfather treated her poorly while she took care of them.
I loved her answer:.... "We can have male friends. Because we would rather have a male friend who secretly loves us then a female friend who secretly hates us." ... . womanese for we are fully aware a "male" friend would probably want to steal us away from our relationship or at least smash, but we're so selfish that we don't care so we'll gaslight our partner and pretend/treat him like he's the toxic one not caring about any psychological trauma we are causing him and even probably just use it all against him later anyway to cause even more. And just for that womans information that's not a friend that's a homie waiting to be next... because a friend wouldn't sit on the sidelines creating a vibe that would cause problems in your life/relationship meanwhile thinking his D-game would cure all your life problems.
10:30 Her answer was wrong in one way. She said Men dont have to put up with female drama. Um yes we do. From partners, co-workers and the man hating boss/femnist that runs the HR dept at work.
You can be friends with a couple if you're not attracted to the women, or if you're more loyal to the dude, since in both cases you won't try to interfere with the relationship in a negative way.
The real question here is obvious. If I'm not supposed to share my struggles with my significant other, talk about my personal problems but instead, as a man, I have to be a tower of strength at all times, why should I be in a relationship at all? That's why men often ask women "what do you bring to the table?" I can pay someone to take care of the house, pay someone for sex, so what's a woman's role in a man's life?
There's a massive misunderstanding of the role of a relationship which I think stems from fictional romance (a cultural construct) where men and women are supposed to be completely open to each other - good or bad. In reality, it's more like the man serves as a caretaker and leader for the family and works with the wife to ensure your offspring survive - this is as simple as it gets from an evolutionary biology perspective. If you stick to the basic facts of human nature, what you need to do successfully is amply clear. The tricky part nowadays is navigating human culture around dating which is significantly more complicated than before but somehow the basics always seem to reliably work.
Literally NO ONE SAID THAT! OMG! All she's saying is to be authentic and wet boundaries. Healthy people have limits, have boundaries, and are able to articulate them. Healthy women want to bond with healthy men.
This not being the nice guy is stupid. I understand you shouldn't be a push over, but if you're simply just a good hearted person and the other person either can't see that or doesn't want to see it then that's their problem.
She really shouldn't use the term "nice guy" because so many people are misunderstanding it..She doesn't mean don't be kind and good. She means don't be fake and not honest. If you know yourself and are authentically yourself, you will naturally have boundaries and will set them. That authenticity is what makes it possible to enter into a true partnership with a woman. And as you are authentic and honest about your own needs and boundaries, you will attract an authentic woman who is looking for real, genuine partnership. That's what she's trying to say. If some of the men on here could get past their hatred/anger, maybe they could actually hear what she's saying. But when people are so bitter that they're triggered, then they're off to the races in their own chaos, they can't even hear her!
"Protected, protected, feel protected, protect" ..."Strong and independent" women want to "feel" Protected but when actual protection shows up then its "controlling" etc.
All women like masculine men and to feel protected. Feminine women are just more honest and up front about it. Liberal modern women will say they don't need it but deep down they want it. Most women know the difference between control and protection so if she doesn't she likely has many other issues. This is something she would have learned from a father.
If both have separated hobbies, and are busy...they dont have time thinking about the rules. The rules will be created by itself. It´s like in nature you dont have to water the garden, the nature and rain will do it for you. In love you dont have to poush things, it will be regulated with your intuition. Youi just let the Universe work for you, not push it too much or over work it. Of course when you travel together to some country you have to be a bit careful and colntrol situation little bit Maybe try doing meditation it will lead you. You will know what to do with a calm mind.
No red blooded man would want to be simply a friend of this woman! She is absolutely gorgeous and the kind of woman that a man would die to make his own. She is beautiful, intelligent, conservative, refined, graceful and sheer class. All these male friends she says she has are just circling sharks waiting for their chance, too scared of rejection to make a pass. As a 98 year old amputee with dementia, I think my chances of a date are unlikely, but I'd give her a shot without hesitation!
@@ServantofAnubis007 Haha! I like your joke. Hope you liked mine. I've dated a lot of women and been married twice. Just finished a 6 year relstionship with a beautiful Chinese girl. Shes now 32 I'm 64. I had to let her go! Now I'm on Tinder and dating some gorgeous 50 + year olds. Asian / Chinese is my type . They are slim, elegant, decent, low BC. Many are wealthy. Hardly any look their age. If only I could get a date with Sadia. Isn't she just gorgeous ?
The problem however is that the "niceness" more often than not is not genuine. It comes from a place of manipulation because said guy isn't saying whatever his true intentions are, which is he desires (xyz) from said woman.
Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Be nice, and women say you're not being sincere. Be not nice, and women say you're being controlling and abusive.
As a reforming nice guy there's also the aspect that I never had a masculine template for boundaries. I was taught that the masculine template is toxic.
Engage with them like they are disposable and remind that to yourself 100 times. It will help you control the nice guy bullshit you were infected with.
I'm a nice guy, but I don't tolerate childish behavior from an adult. I can go from nice guy to military dad in a second. Yes, I know my nice guy behavior may not seem masculine to women, but I'd rather be genuinely nice than a prick. A woman who only sees me as a nice guy tells me she doesn't care enough to get to know me.
I think you are confusing nice guy with a kind guy. You can be kind with boundaries (not being a prick). It’s hard to be a nice guy because its rooted in people pleasing behavior with hidden agenda - and it’s disingenuous.
A man needs to be a good captain. You could see a captain being defeated but you know he did his absolute best to win, you can even see him show concern or frustration while keeping a will to fight. It is different when the captain panics or shows a defeated attitude before the crew or shows self pity.
Ive never heard this stuff explained so clearly and simply before. Every thing she says is so easy to understand and resonate with. Sadia has a real talent for communication. Beauty and brains..what a combo!
WOW... It struck hard on me when she said the lack of a father contributes to be a people pleaser. I lost my father when I was a baby, I have a huge problem of being a pleaser and unable to set boundaries. I had huge problems with women with short-lived relationships. Now that I´ve been learning this over the years I´m trying hard to change it.
I learned recently in a painful way that I’m a people pleaser, and it partially led to the ruin of my relationship. Guess what? I grew up without a father!
I loved how strong she is , not only in love advice but I’m life as well. She didn’t let mainstream media to push her to ignore the genocide in Gaza. She’s a human in all senses
This is probably the number 1 question asked by guys seeking relationship advice, brilliantly reframed so it can be understood from a female perspective.
eeehhhh, dont say shit like that. It all depends on the situation. If he's at work, for the love of God, DO NOT ASK HER OUT. Don't EVER ask out the girl at work. If she wants to approach you, ok cool, go for it. But never be the initiator in that environment.
How she points out everything so much near accurately? Especially in these kinda subject.It's fascinating..Always love to hear her insights. There's always something clicks on mind every time.
well, yes & no....many times a man sets boundries & the woman says, ,,,FU, i won't be controlled....so they don't date ....then the woman says....Where's all the good men at...?
*Instead of always trying to please, focus on self-respect and honesty about your intentions. When you don’t constantly seek approval, it becomes clear you’re looking for something meaningful - not just another friendship!*
I've got to say...this is one of the best podcasts I've heard in a long while when it comes to relationships between men and women. I've been in a predicament with a woman that I have known for three years and managed to put myself in the friend zone. I've listen to Sadia talking about these things and she is so right about why I failed. Thank you and well done.
here is the point. Boundries are important yes, but "modern women" who view masculinity as toxic will be offended on your boundries the first time when she wants to make her way.
Hats off to this woman! Until I stumbled across Sadia on social media I whole heartedly and physiologically believed that it was impossible for any woman (due to her biological make up) to truly explain how women think about and perceive men. We must treasure this woman at all costs, the mental strength she has to overpower all her intense and scattered emotions is astonishing, to enable us guys to understand the female psyche in a way that ultimately no other woman can! Thank you, Sadia!
What you said about fathers is so true. A good, involved father is everything. Also, growing up in a friend group of boys and girls, where you play together, listen to music together, talk together. It gives you a strong baseline of understanding that can last a lifetime.
I just learned the meaning of the word "Nice" .....Nice, it turns out, began as a negative term derived from the Latin nescius, meaning “unaware, ignorant.” This sense of “ignorant” was carried over into English when the word was first borrowed (via French) in the early 1300s. I can see this because being nice does get a person hurt from being unaware or ignorant to RED FLAGS, that usually happens....you've said in a previous video that women tell men exactly who they are at the very beginning but we guys are 'NICE' or really ignorant of all the signs a women gives us that she isn't truly interested
. It is a common belief that no matter what we do, we can never fully satisfy someone, whether they are a man or a woman. While it is important to establish boundaries and be a good person, it is challenging to be someone who truly understands and ignites the essence of genuine love. If we constantly set limits, we may never succeed as a partner. Perhaps the key lies in convincing others that the root cause of our problems is the inherent flaws in humanity and the presence of malevolence in our lives. Simply walking away from a situation does not equate to learning; comprehending the true nature of our significant other is an entirely different matter. Admittedly, there are times when we mistakenly invest our time in the wrong individuals, and changing our behavior remains an ongoing discussion without a definitive solution.
There's a mindset shift required for you to remain healthy and feel it is congruent with you, acting healthy doesn't appear to GIVE you what you want but it actually does. It makes the people not receptive to your healthiness not like you, it gives you what you perceive as negative i.e. not getting the girl, which is actually the positive. The rejection becomes a good thing because you know you're from a place of healthiness the issue actually lies with the other person at that point.
My God the mental gymnastics that women use is fucking astounding. Like, how do they even keep up? Men have to do this, but if they do this too little or too much, they're not sexually viable anymore. Men have to do that, but oh shit, she had to tell you to do one of the five things that you do for her, so now you can't protect her. But they will gladly get spread eagle for the dude that is literally cheating right in front of her. I'm so glad that I learned this lesson early on. I feel bad for the timid, average looking dudes currently in their 20s. Have fun boys.
A very honest and straightforward talk by both him and her. I've seldom seen a man and a woman honestly acknowledge and admit that they both live in separate, seemingly unconnected, mutually impenetrable worlds, and that male and female brains are wired differently, therefore causing all the communication barriers which make well-succeeded dating so hard to attain. This insight alone is no doubt a good starting point for correcting relationship mistakes and starting to set things straight, by realizing that men's and women's intentions almost NEVER match, and that's where all the confusion and misunderstanding comes from, i.e., when you say, "how can he/she have understood this/that, when I was meaning right the opposite?" In fact, a mating between a man and a woman is truly a miracle if we think about it and considering how different and disparate men and women really are.
Yes this is true , I always gave the nice guy a chance but he became a yes man and I always lose respect and intrest , be a leader and have firm boundaries then you nice guys will win , we want to feel safe
@@Didi-fr5ic No you don't get it. The principle characteristic that women look for in men is egotism and if you don't understand it or you won't admit to it then you are either a fool or a liar.
@@StimParavanea womens core need is to feel safe with a man emotionally and physically so we try hard to learn how you men think and we put in the work but some of you men don't understand the mind of a women this is why you got trigerred by the message , wish you healing and all the best but hating on women because I literally told you what women need and you just went the other way instead of understanding so this tells me you got hurt or are unsuccessful with women , good luck
One thing I've found hard about having female friends is that their boyfriends are always suspicious. It only works if I vibe with the guy too. Have to be friends with the couple.
@@ty57404 Yeah, it's perfectly understandable, just something that makes it difficult. I've been friends with a couple different ladies from work or school who I had zero interest in, then start hanging out outside of that context and have nothing in common with her boyfriend. My friendship with these ladies ends up depending on how healthy the trust is in their relationship, which I obviously have zero control over. If I vibe with the dude, then I end up being primarily friends with him. Just an odd dynamic I've noticed.
I agree with this! I like when my partner is friends with my best guy friend. It’s important to me and I think it can help with building trust that you really are friends and nothing more ☺️
We should also be looking for a woman who can calmly set boundaries and explain her expectations, and be able to listen to your boundaries, needs, and expectations. We can't read each other's minds, I think is the point here.
Why can't I just expect the woman that I am with to act like an adult? If men an women are equal, then why is it the man's responsibility to teach a grown woman how to behave?
Exactly, why do we always have to lead and decide for them. It's like women want to be children and wants us to be their father. They never want to be an adult.
Yep. she says if i have to tell you this and that and you do it.. you suck. No he is listening to your opinion and entertaining it. Don't want to sound rude to anyone but I couldn't entertain this woman for 30 minutes.
This was a very compact and interesting segment. Well done by both. And I would agree, having female friends help the guy understand female psychology without destroying him.
Nothing and no one can make a woman happy other than herself, and when she is happy with herself, she will be able to relate to you consciously and communicate clearly so you're never cut off in silence because you don't know what you've done wrong to upset her, when she is her own happiness she is not co-dependant on you to make her happy and will call you out in the moment of anything less than conscious, because she wants to share her happiness with a conscious man who is also his own happiness, in that she has compassion because she who knows that she is a loving kind conscious being and not just using you to entertain her narcissistic ego only to discard you when she trips you up with her crap tests, which maybe unconscious checking that can can handle her at her worst to deserve her at her best. If you fail, then you are of no value. Learn your lesson, let go, move on and be better prepared to win the next challenge, stand tall warrior in your own truth, never surrender to falsehood, and always call her out on her nonsense, with kindness and gentleness as a gentleman and yet with firm leadership, if you don't lead then she will follow someone else. Woman gives birth to men to lead, if she is emasculating you, then she is not your one.
Guys you will find someone who will fit for you, yes keep learning from a positive perspective, listen to men, they know who you are, she just read the books, she can't understand us, and if the interviewer disagrees, she become vulnerable. Sorry Sadia, I am helping the guys too.
The friendzone isn't as bad at all, hahaha :) - Great to know. 😂 But what i've experienced is that i've been friends for years, few years with female(s). Sure, learned a lot from them. But there always pops up, some stupid thing, which they stab you in the back. And i can't stand that and cannot accept bad behavior and cut them off immediately. The female who did it, will never return, eventually the "friendship" ends. They can't say "I'm sorry, that ... this/that". Well, she didn't. In evolutionairy psychology: i read that women are narcissistic in their nature as compensation for 30% less muscle-power. So they needed manipulation/narcissistic traits to survive and will never say "sorry" (an element of narcissism). I think it's that simple, why men cannot stay friends w/women. Women are survival-creatures and therefore mostly me me me me me (and kids).
Friendzone means the backup crew. From what I observed from others they only have those types of men around to supply her with the resources she needs and maybe sometime in the future one of those guys can have the opportunity to be the main man. As a man you have to truly despise yourself to believe that you must be okay with the one you want to have a relationship with having countless sexual partners while you watch in the background. Guys if you're talking to a woman with the intention of having a serious relationship and she says she's not interested I would recommend moving on. Thousands of women are interested in something serious so why waste your time as a backup?
@@HolyGem333 I have taken the red pill but don't dwell in it. The red pill lens now is on and will never go off. But evolutionary psychology = 'key'. Now knowing that, I know how, when and strategically, to move on. And when not and give her "a chance..."
The answer for me has always been, "Be the leader." My approach has been, "Hey look, here is where I plan to go with my life. I'm looking for a woman would would be my force multiplier. If you aren't cool with that, I'm not picking you to join my team." Helps that I've been elected as leader to many different organizations and have been called a natural leader. "Nice guys" irritate me as well. They are spineless people with no sense of direction in life; they make lousy followers much less leaders.
So she has to be in your frame ,that’s not what she’s talking about ,sounds like it’s all about u ,date urself lol ,strong men are ok with strong women they can be apart of the woman’s life and vice versa they aren’t insecure not being the women’s life an vice versa ,,seperate ness is as important as togetherness an if you are insecure,that’s weak,,,anyone can be in your frame ,but can you be in her frame ,that’s a real man ☀️
@@laurahenry3562 No, those guys are the more pliable beta males. Nothing wrong with that since I don't use the term beta as an insult. There can't be two alphas in a relationship since they are probably headed towards different destinations.
Nice guys are partially right, it's good to be nice. I think maybe they don't realize, they're never going to get anything from women, more than handouts. Unless they come up with whatever good enough to get the best things she might feel like sharing with them. It'd probably be worth it for them.
@@telephonepolaroids If nice guys don't get chosen, then he is wrong full stop. At the end of the day, nature only cares about results (whether he reproduce and raise successful offspring in adequate numbers), not justifications.
Have flexible boundaries, you won't get a long term relationship because the woman starts to hate you. Have firm boundaries, a woman leaves you after a decade or more because she feels "never heard". That's the reality. Sadia is naive. She's always bang on about how women feel though, that friends bit was platinum.
@Sadia & Chris - There is a LOT of value to having female friends BUT you need to pick them EXTREMELY carefully. Because you are entering friendship where SHE holds almost all the cards because in the same way "a birthday party" can ruin the friendship but also destroys your current romantic relationship in the process. It is like entering a minefield with clown shoes on. The benefits are real if she is on your side, but you need to need to be very aware AND have a very clear filter on the advice that is given. - Often even if it is genuine. I think for most men who are asking for help, this is a very bad place to start, but a great way to get to understand womanese.
Sadia made a video about "why women who earn more leave". If she works hard she still wants to come home and have him take care of her. So then, she is taking on the leading role of provider, he is taking on the submissive caring role. She is masculine, he is feminine. These "nice, caring" men get seen as weak and it never ends well.
Your so right women do speak in code and unfortunately men have not got the code breaker strategy to understand what she has just said and just take things at face value.
im 25 and never had a girlfriend and used to be a people pleaser..i relate to what you said about "treat them mean" having an absent father (he was there physically just not emotionally) and i ended up being clingy for most of my life..my father never taught me anything about dating or relationships or sex and im not sure if that was his job anyways. i've always had low self esteem and getting rejected by girls in school made it even worse...i remember being friends with girls in school but i think they eventually distanced themselves from me because they thought i was trying to court them or something even though it was not my intention. when women reject me they are always bitchy about it..i have never heard a woman say "not interested" ever it's always been some kind of degrading comments about my looks or what i said..im not scared of rejection im scared of getting humiliated again so i ask out women less... because of years of women being mean to me in that regard..when women are nice to me nowadays it feels very strange and i dont know how to react...i've been complimented only once in my life it was about 5 ot 6 years ago and a girl said i was cute and i remember not knowing what to say so i panicked and walked away. When women are nice to me nowadays i feel like there is some ulterior motive behind their action. i've always struggled feeling worthy but ive been going to therapy for several years now and i am getting better at it but i find it difficult to put myself out there to meet women and balancing that with my career. so yea what you say about being volatile is definitely something i relate to and once i get into a relationship my fear is that i just panick and wont know what to do or how to react and that could be a potential problem. I'm not scared of commitment i am just unsure of the chaos as you said.
@@jacobclayton2954...and they ARE the choosers. Diff from 2 generations ago. Women all have independent careers..don't really need a steady guy except for children
I can totally relate to what Sadia is saying about having male friends. I also find conversations with males more interesting and more fun because they are easier to be around. They can joke and we can have a laugh, even at ourselves. I feel the connections are more genuine for sure!
I am "nice", but if you push to far I can be worse than serial killer and I am capable of Samson option and don't care about my life and life of others involved. I am nice because I don't want to make trouble, because I know how things could go very bad. So I am rather nice to some extent than being to much selfish. Some people could see being nice as sign of weakness but they are unaware what some "nice guys" are capable of. By the way, Sadia is somewhat smart, and her looks makes her a favour to spread her message. But she hit the wall and blames older men because they like younger women, as this is biologically ingrained in male human species.
i totally agree and relate, dont mistake kindness for weakness, i dont want to ruffle feathers when i talk to people, female or not, cuz who knows if they may get offended or if they will feel hurt enough to take revenge? especially with woman with feelings "oh so sensitive". im a guy with pretty high eq, pretty sensitive guy but im tired of the games tbh, act interested, dont act interested, notice her body language, i heard all that PUA, redpill, even black pill shit, its toxic, why cant we just treat others with genuine respect/kindness without being seen as desperate or "emasculate" (idk if thats a word lol). life is so complicated the way it is. why is meeting someone for companionship/ to fuck so hard? surely the human race didnt grow to its current population if they didnt have nearly as much access alll this pua and female psychology bs (they cud be tru most cases but generalizations nah)
That means you're not nice at all. It means you're dangerous and no woman should feel safe with you. They should get away from you until you've learned to self regulate.
Even if you did run into a beautiful woman with a big heart, this would be the problem. "When You're In Love With A Beautiful Woman" When you're in love with a beautiful woman It's hard When you're in love with a beautiful woman You know it's hard Everybody wants her Everybody loves her Everybody wants to take your baby home When you're in love with a beautiful woman You watch your friends When you're in love with a beautiful woman It never ends You know that it's crazy You want to trust her Then somebody hangs up when you answer the phone When you're in love with a beautiful woman You go it alone Maybe it's just an ego problem Problem is, I've been fooled before By fair weathered friends and faint hearted lovers And everytime it happens It just convinces me more When you're in love with a beautiful woman You watch her eyes When you're in love with a beautiful woman You look for lies Everybody tempts her Everybody tells her She's the most beautiful woman they know When you're in love with a beautiful woman You go it alone When you're in love with a beautiful woman You watch your friends When you're in love with a beautiful woman Yeah it never ends When you're in love with a beautiful woman You watch her eyes When you're in love with a beautiful woman You keep looking for lies
Women are really easy for me to understand. They don't confuse me, nor do I fear the depths of their emotions or the precieved chaos they exhibit. Life is so much easier because of this. If I had to recommend some books to start out with, try The Way of the Superior Man and 3% Man. If you don't read them several times over or practice what's in them, then you might not get to where I'm at.
Sorry I will say that since I don't want to get anyone offended but I hope it can be of any help. Speaking from my personal point of view these are the 2 great turn offs I very often see men tend to do to please the object of their desires (and I put a disclaimer here - I am not a relationship professional or something): The first thing is ignoring their wants and needs just to please the person they like - for example changing their opinion on something just because that person expressed an opposite of theirs' point of view. Putting you immediately in a weak - willed, submissive position (absolutely opposite to the masculine energy); Very simple example to make things clear: Group of people decide where to go to lunch. Boy A says - let's go to this new Italian restaurant. I heard they make very nice pasta". Girl B says: "Oh I don't really like pasta. Let's go for sushi". And the case is closed - everyone goes for sushi, even though boy A hates sushi. Even worse: Boy A says - let's go wherever Girl B decides. I know of course any relationship with people is build on compromises but it shouldn't be always on you. Good way to handle such situation is - point out that this is not your best option but this time it will be on you; and next time it should be you to decide. Please make sure your opinion is well heard and also taken care of. Don't be afraid to express your opinion even though it won't match the one of the masses. Actually it is more often the people with the different opinion who stand out. Second thing - an extension to the "good guy" topic - being overly nice even though the person really showed no interest or even worse - they clearly told you they have no interest. I think it is not that hard to tell if someone likes you or not. If they made it clear that they are not interested and you still keep pushing yourself, making unwanted offers still trying to please them - this makes things even worse. This actually makes this worse even for the other person, too, because it puts them in an unsettling position to feel obliged to keep responding to you, since well you are a nice guy right, so they have to be nice with you, as well, even though they really don't feel and want that connection. If you really feel that your interest is not reciprocated, please have the dignity to move on, there is plenty of fish in sea!
I’m an attractive, educated, fit, hardworking and humble woman who is always friend zoned by men.. I’m usually described as “unique” which I hate.. I’m starting to think I’m too much for an average man who usually likes the shallow superficial and materialistic woman
My ex partner told me that I intimidate him on an intellectual level My ex boyfriend told me that I clearly was more experienced than him in life And my male friend (who I friendzoned) told me that guys didn’t chase me because they were intimidated or they were 100% sure I was goin to say no ( which is true) I stopped dating down I reserved myself for only guys that I felt were successful in all areas I perceive I am. I also changed the mindset of single=unattractive I don’t think you can score people I think your are either attractive or not that’s is You’ll see guys who don’t fit the beauty standards but you can clearly feel the magnetism or their persona Same women who are not the standard of beauty and men gravitate towards them because she is clearly interesting and attractive So a high value men looks for someone who he feels attracted to and holds the same value as him Easy and plain as that.
@@NeighborTom you don’t know her how could you put the blame on her She might be, she might be not You don’t know, this comment is very “fresh and fit” like.
You don't have to answer me, but men care about looks. Her income or education is not what men are primarily looking for. I don't know what you look like, but if a woman is above her normal weight relative to her height and has an average face, that makes it harder for her to find a man. It's the same way a woman wants a six-figure man. Men in general disqualify average looking girls while women disqualify average earning men. But answer me this. Is it easier for a women to stay in shape than it is for a man to make six figures? Of course it is. Men in general have to work harder in life to get an attractive, or even average women. And plus, usually educated high earning women feel entitled to high value men. That's not how it works. A women's worth from a mans perspective is her looks and femininity. Not her income/education.
Generally speaking, the only woman who may have loved us men unconditionally (if you were lucky) was your "mother"; we spend a lifetime looking for a woman like mom who will love us like she did in a similar manner, "unconditional", but we find there are hardly "NO WOMEN "who love their man, in this manner (unconditionally). These women are few and far between ~ a woman who can love her man the way a momma loves her children. I know it is a different kind of love, but it is a powerful love that mothers have for their kids. I am not saying we want an Incestuous relationship, but a woman who genuinely loves and cares for us in this power way. I was fortunate to have a mom who loved me deeply, I have never experienced that level of bonding with a woman since. Now, I have loved them very deeply, but they have not loved me ~ to that same level. Now I have had women adore me, and want me, but generally it was gals that I was not attracted too. I have not had one that I was attracted ~ that loved me the way I wanted to be loved ~ Men need a woman to be romantically in love, and to genuinely care for us, and the relationship, more than their survival instinct...
Question: will YOU give HER unconditional love?.No love should be given with no boundaries whatsoever. Even a mother should have set boundaries with her children.
Or play into her game and nick a few quid from her purse here and there and hookup with her sister and her friends. Be the wolf that got in the chicken den.
I don't mind being "friend-zoned" As an older man who really doesn't want to get in a relation, or get "re" volved with one, I'm perfectly happy talking to them. I find them interesting. It's something to do, go out, have a dinner or coffee. But I'm happy alone. I've seen enough in my life. I spend the extra time making money, I do alright making decisions.
It means simply in general women they don't know what they want. They say they want a nice guy then they say he is so soft. Then, they say they want the rich but they don't like that he cheats or he has lots of options. They say they want the player but those men don't want to commit and they became angry. Then they say we want the handsome but that handsome has hundreds of beautiful women as friends and they don't like that either. After all of that they become lonely single women with a cat and they are the feminists and say all men are bad.
The whole having female friends is maybe good in your teenage years and 20s, but if you haven’t learned anything by 30 then thinking you need female friends is not a good idea.
To answer her question: I'm nice and respectful to all. That's how I was raised. But I also call B.S. when I see it and deal with it ASAP! Respect in a relationship now is very important because these "modern" women will try anything! Just to how far they can get.
The key is to be a good person in your thought processes and the way you carry yourself, but you don't necessarily need to be a pushover in your execution. Sometimes you're going to have an unpopular stance on something and you will have to stand on it. Don't play yourself, and don't give anyone more of your time, attention, and resources than they have proven they're worthy of.
As a man, who’s dated a LOT, at 57, you can have women as acquaintances, but as far as hanging out or doing things together, you can, but one of these people thinks it’s going somewhere at sometime. Or one you is very ugly. 😅
I value her perspective, and she may very well speak for the majority of women, but not all women, because what I am hearing sounds very black and white, heteronormative, not consider the gender spectrum and people who are are LGBT. These people may each be in the minority but you add all the non-heteronormative people up and you have a significant percentage of the population. There are literally women who want to be dominant and want a submissive man. To call these women manipulative is to also call all dominant men manipulative. To say a submissive man is weak is to say a submissive woman is weak. I am glad the speaker is being honest and revealing what perhaps most feel - just as I would be glad if a typical man were to reveal with honesty the way he looks down on submissive woman, because gentle, thoughtful honesty is how we learn about each other and gain understanding. However it’s also healthy to point out that there are people who do not fit into the cookie cutter mold. Consider the paralyzed people, who are dependent. Consider the neurodivergent. Consider the polyamorous. The asexuals. If you aren’t doing this, you can’t really say what women want if you’re only considering the 51%
Amazing insight: to avoid being friendzoned, have a lot of female friends first. Basically the friendzone is a ritual of initiation. You don't get out of its loop if you don't do enough of it.
I understand her point but after high school I don’t see the value of female friends like in most cases if you don’t reach out to them they won’t reach out to you or if you want to hangout u have to invite them out they won’t invite u out and some even expect you to pay
@@blankprivatecompany9296 You're describing a situation where you don't have enough, or enough good ones, so you can only remedy by doing more of it, just with different girls. It's a harsh thing to think about, but logic dictates that if friends don't invite us and reach out for us, maybe we're not doing enough for them, or we're not that fun, or not that interesting. Improve yourself, and your friends will improve (I'm in the same situation, and that's the suggestion I give to myself.)
If you're having female friends and considering them as a training ground. That's when they get hooked and the friendship is nolonger a friendship. If the guy or lady has much to give and the opposite gender gravitates towards them. That in itself if a point of attraction in itself that causes attachment. There will always be the person who likes the other more in such cases and goes on to love more deeply. I honestly don't think men and women can be "just friends" That is if we're talking of friendship it it's truest sense. Close colleagues, acquaintances, workmates... That could be possible. But out of that bubble. Naaaa
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Title: *"FRIEND", not "FREIND"
Love your insight, and wisdom, by the way!
If you want to stay out of the friend zone, two words: Sexual Innuendo. You don't have to be obnoxious, like every other sentence, but if there's an opening, TAKE IT!! Even if you fail to make a connection, there's NO WAY you will get stuck in the friend zone. Just by some playful sexual innuendo you will have made your intentions crystal clear. If she's cool with that, NO JOKE seduction is next.
Like Craig Ferguson, 2 gun.
@@t5396 Oh yeah, he was the king of flirting with hotties. I tell everyone I know who has trouble flirting with girls they meet, I CAN SCHOOL YOU, but you're better off just watching old C.F. clips.
With all due respect Sadia. There seems to be an underlying cynicism in your whole philosophy. The way you speak of women is as if every last one of them have little to no empathy or compassion whatsoever for a man in a moments weakness, uncertainty or vulnerability; and would even go so far as to hate and resent him for it. Implying that, even if she didn’t admit that that was the truth that she would be lying to herself. That’s probably one of the most cynical things I’ve ever heard.
What you haven’t factored into your philosophy is how a couple’s relationship will change from one of demanding absolute strength & perfection from each other at all times to having compassion for one another as they get older. Because your body will start fall apart, you will get sick, you will get old and you will die. And there doesn’t seem to be any talk or room for compassion for one another in your philosophy about men and women.
There is another deeper more profound relationship level that you seem to be unaware of where people transcend the selfish superficial things-all the riches, looks, status, beauty & sex-that cynics would say make them secretly or blatantly resentful of each other. The way you speak of relationships is as if they were some wealthy men & women’s business transaction or acquisition.
The marriage vows, “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part” wouldn’t be possible without compassion.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails.
Experienced divorce lawyer here. In my experience, nearly all heterosexual women want a strong, masculine man with strong boundaries and who can take the lead. If you are a guy reading this, level up in all areas of your life. Be willing to walk away from anyone or anything that no longer aligns with your life or goals. Don’t be a doormat. Set boundaries. Never tolerate shit testing. You can thank me later.
@stevenbrown6593 it is okay to get involved with someone who has genuine burning desire for you and you have genuine burning desire for them. I do not suggest getting married in most jurisdictions.
Good advice.
Agreed. And don't level for women. Level up for yourself. Women need to prove themselves to you too. Don't make her think it's all about her. All of our feces look the same.
@stevenbrown6593why would he do that? He's a DIVORCE lawyer. He WANTS you to get married, and he NEEDS that marriage to fail. Don't listen to a fucking word coming out of a lawyer's mouth; they're all lies.
I don't want to take the lead
i loved her line that “when women are in love with a man, thry can’t help but play stupid games” 😂. it’s true except it’s also self sabotage & a wise secure man will inevitably always walk away. he’s looking for comfort, not drama
Exactly 😆 I would also challenege her on the "can't help it" part. Sounds like avoiding accountability to me 🥴
A regulated and secure woman won’t do that. Specially if you have worked trough your pain. We also want comfort and need the protection and stability the man provides so we will “behave”
He's looking for peace. Not comfort.
@@xx_mojat_xx Yeah, "can't help it, its female nature" is not a valid reason for men to accept women who act that way.
exactly men need to learn women and understand their nature
I’m jealous of you guys that have access to all this info/help. I wish I had access to this when I was young . I made so many mistakes ,and yeah I also grew up without my dad. When he was around, all I saw was them fight, and he constantly cheated. I told myself I wouldn’t treat women like he did, but I went too far with it and it lead to me getting walked over without realizing what I was doing wrong. I’m old now and won’t get those years back, but my hope is that you young men learn these lessons early ,cuz you have no excuses now. I hope you have more fun in this stage of life than I did. I want ya’ll to WIN.
Thankyou
Thank you so much sir : )
I don't know how old you are but I am 58 and head over heels for a strong guy who is 65. My father passed away at 97 this February. He was still interested in having a romantic relationship.
Why don't you take what you have learned and go find someone?
Thank you. Don't ever think that it's over, or you have lived your life and all is finished. You are alive, doing well, healthy and that's mighty fine. ❤
U should start a podcast.. thank me later
This is why I spent 10 years alone. Happiest time of my life. The only mistake I made was getting into another relationship.
You should have got a dog....
You got played again?
Hahahaha meanwhile I just got out of a long-term relationship and I'm watching this video and I look like the meme of that lady trying kombucha for the first time 😂
@@jlf207 ha ha ha I just had to look that up.... brilliant !
The problem is that men who assert their authority in relationships with women are labeled as controlling, domineering, and misogynistic. If the man doesn't assert his authority, women label him as weak and lacking masculinity. While it is important that men establish boundaries with how they are treated by women and other men, this is only one part of the puzzle. The other part that is rarely discussed on this topic is a woman's unwillingness to be submissive to a man's authority. Many modern women adopt the feminist mindset. They are taught to be strong and independent and that they don't need men. Men are often disrespected by the media, society, and women. Men are portrayed as weak and incompetent and should feel lucky to even have a woman. With this feminist and cultural mindset, women disrespect men and refuse to be submissive to a man's authority. They will constantly shit test or disrespect men in relationships. If men exude masculine authority, the women will label him as controlling, domineering, aggressive, or emotionally abusive. Its a no win for men. Modern women want to have their cake and eat it too. Modern women want traditional masculine men, but they aren't traditional feminine women. The majority of modern women (specifically in the US) are narcissist, spoiled, self-entitled, self-absorbed, superficial, materialistic, promiscuous, untrustworthy, disloyal, and delusional. These women lack traditional feminine traits like humility, integrity, loyalty and compassion which are condusive to a healthy relationship. Men are essentially dealing with self-entitled, spoiled children who never take accountability for their behavior. Men shouldn't have to raise children trapped in an adult female body. Most men are willing to set boundaries but it problematic when you are dealing with a woman who is always trying to work against you. Modern women are constantly trying to be in competition with men instead of being supportive partners. Modern women are constantly adding drama to relationships instead of bringing peace and stability. Modern men have their issues but men are willing to work on themselves and take accountability. Modern women on the other hand are told they are perfect from birth (especially attractive women) and they have no incentive to improve themselves and take accountability for their behavior. Modern women only focus on external superficial qualities while neglecting the internal intrinsic core values that would make them good partners. Bottomline is men need to establish boundaries with women, but women are making this extremely difficult by not being feminine and submissive. This is why there is a growing trend in men avoiding relationships with women. Men are just tired of the BS. Men have good reasons for avoiding relationships with women such as biased divorce laws and the rise of promiscuous and disloyal women. I would argue that "nice" men who do not assert authority and set boundaries is only a small part of the problem with current dating market. The main problem is actually the rise of low value women... to the shock and horror of our culture who blames every problem in society on men. Sadly, the average modern woman is not a good, reliable long-term partner nowadays. She's more than likely narcissist, self-entitled, self-absorbed, disloyal, promiscuous and unwilling to be a supportive partner. There are still high value women out there but unfortunately, they are overshadowed by the low value women. Good luck guys
Amen!
You are projecting yourself onto women. Interesting.
How accurately you've summarized it all, congratulations! But I see few ways out of this mess, especially out of the existing and overpowering feminist bias nowadays.
All in all, I guess that maybe the best way out of this all-encompassing mess is to find a nice 'old-school' type-of-mentality girl (if at all possible) and set up a strong and hopefully happy commitment with her (whose bases must be renewed and talked over now and then). Talking about myself, I managed to reach a girl like this through Christian prayer, in case this advice may be of any help to you.
Agree with alot of this. The rise of online dating, where women have a smorgasbord of desperate men, has made things worse.
I used to be friend zoned because I do not wear masks. I preferred authenticity, but women preferred to play mental games for people who want entertainment.
I knew I was not good for courtship. I was better suited to be a husband. It is nice when after a few years of marriage your wife tells you "I am more in love now than when I married".
A relationship is built by two people. There is some initial basic element of "compatibility" to meet each other. But relationships are built. Drama is for teenagers. Adult people fix problems talking. No one can guess what is in each other's mind.
EXACTLY!
This is fact bro.
My advice to men is to just be yourself. Don't change who you are for a woman, because most of them are scarred and confused anyway lol. I've had women call me too aggressive and women who have thought I was just "nice" and I leave both alone. Don't drive yourself insane trying to be something for a woman. The ones that make you do that are not worth it.
Exactly
I really wish I could have read your comment about 10 years ago lol. I was always considered the nice guy, the guy that girls could talk to but never go out with because I was "too nice". So, I changed myself to be like other guys that girls found attractive and guess what that back fired. Now, I'm considered a jerk or and asshole. I realize now that changing myself for these type of women was totally pointless and now I really feel like an ass for doing so
@@damianhaynes3181 it's never too late
No. Be interesting. Learn, explore, and do things that are interesting. It will be good for YOU, too.
That's a good rule.of thumb for both men and women. After all, no one is the right fit for everyone!
Being Nice, whilst not being weak is being confident and self assured with who you are, period. It’s not about how we (I’m a male) treat women, it’s about how we treat ourselves. Same applies for the women.
My own life with an absent father confirms what Sadia is saying. Being a nice guy was absolutely detrimental, causing much resentment on my side. Fortunately, I changed this dynamic. But listen to both. They speak truth
I thank you for speaking your heart out . One doubt pls : how did you change the dynamic ?
That is because single mothers are raising us. My mother try to tell me how to treat women yet my father and stepfather treated her poorly while she took care of them.
I loved her answer:.... "We can have male friends. Because we would rather have a male friend who secretly loves us then a female friend who secretly hates us." ... . womanese for we are fully aware a "male" friend would probably want to steal us away from our relationship or at least smash, but we're so selfish that we don't care so we'll gaslight our partner and pretend/treat him like he's the toxic one not caring about any psychological trauma we are causing him and even probably just use it all against him later anyway to cause even more. And just for that womans information that's not a friend that's a homie waiting to be next... because a friend wouldn't sit on the sidelines creating a vibe that would cause problems in your life/relationship meanwhile thinking his D-game would cure all your life problems.
100%
10:30 Her answer was wrong in one way. She said Men dont have to put up with female drama. Um yes we do. From partners, co-workers and the man hating boss/femnist that runs the HR dept at work.
yep she spilled the beans big time with that rare moment of truth
What?
You can be friends with a couple if you're not attracted to the women, or if you're more loyal to the dude, since in both cases you won't try to interfere with the relationship in a negative way.
The real question here is obvious. If I'm not supposed to share my struggles with my significant other, talk about my personal problems but instead, as a man, I have to be a tower of strength at all times, why should I be in a relationship at all? That's why men often ask women "what do you bring to the table?" I can pay someone to take care of the house, pay someone for sex, so what's a woman's role in a man's life?
There's a massive misunderstanding of the role of a relationship which I think stems from fictional romance (a cultural construct) where men and women are supposed to be completely open to each other - good or bad. In reality, it's more like the man serves as a caretaker and leader for the family and works with the wife to ensure your offspring survive - this is as simple as it gets from an evolutionary biology perspective. If you stick to the basic facts of human nature, what you need to do successfully is amply clear. The tricky part nowadays is navigating human culture around dating which is significantly more complicated than before but somehow the basics always seem to reliably work.
Literally NO ONE SAID THAT! OMG! All she's saying is to be authentic and wet boundaries.
Healthy people have limits, have boundaries, and are able to articulate them. Healthy women want to bond with healthy men.
SET boundaries.
Hence, what is woman? Maybe it doesn’t exist..
This not being the nice guy is stupid. I understand you shouldn't be a push over, but if you're simply just a good hearted person and the other person either can't see that or doesn't want to see it then that's their problem.
Exactly
Being a genuinely good person and being a push over are two different things
@kingstown3543 yes, which is why I pointed that out in my comment.
She really shouldn't use the term "nice guy" because so many people are misunderstanding it..She doesn't mean don't be kind and good. She means don't be fake and not honest.
If you know yourself and are authentically yourself, you will naturally have boundaries and will set them.
That authenticity is what makes it possible to enter into a true partnership with a woman.
And as you are authentic and honest about your own needs and boundaries, you will attract an authentic woman who is looking for real, genuine partnership.
That's what she's trying to say.
If some of the men on here could get past their hatred/anger, maybe they could actually hear what she's saying.
But when people are so bitter that they're triggered, then they're off to the races in their own chaos, they can't even hear her!
That's what she's saying lol
"Protected, protected, feel protected, protect" ..."Strong and independent" women want to "feel" Protected but when actual protection shows up then its "controlling" etc.
All women like masculine men and to feel protected. Feminine women are just more honest and up front about it. Liberal modern women will say they don't need it but deep down they want it. Most women know the difference between control and protection so if she doesn't she likely has many other issues. This is something she would have learned from a father.
If both have separated hobbies, and are busy...they dont have time thinking about the rules.
The rules will be created by itself.
It´s like in nature you dont have to water the garden, the nature and rain will do it for you.
In love you dont have to poush things, it will be regulated with your intuition.
Youi just let the Universe work for you, not push it too much or over work it.
Of course when you travel together to some country you have to be a bit careful and colntrol situation little bit
Maybe try doing meditation it will lead you.
You will know what to do with a calm mind.
No red blooded man would want to be simply a friend of this woman! She is absolutely gorgeous and the kind of woman that a man would die to make his own. She is beautiful, intelligent, conservative, refined, graceful and sheer class.
All these male friends she says she has are just circling sharks waiting for their chance, too scared of rejection to make a pass. As a 98 year old amputee with dementia, I think my chances of a date are unlikely, but I'd give her a shot without hesitation!
You seem quite quippy for 98 year old.. surprised relationship advice is your past time you seem like a compliment bot. 😂
As a 98 old, could you describe your experience in dating? Im curious.
@@ServantofAnubis007
Haha! I like your joke. Hope you liked mine. I've dated a lot of women and been married twice. Just finished a 6 year relstionship with a beautiful Chinese girl. Shes now 32 I'm 64. I had to let her go! Now I'm on Tinder and dating some gorgeous 50 + year olds. Asian / Chinese is my type . They are slim, elegant, decent, low BC. Many are wealthy. Hardly any look their age. If only I could get a date with Sadia. Isn't she just gorgeous ?
But yet she’s single 🤨 says a lot about her.
@@JamFlava1 Are you sure she is single ?
Having a strong boundary is a key. In simple terms, knowing when to say No, I don't like, I can't, I'm done, This is it, Goodbye!!!
It really hurts that you're considered less masculine for being too nice. What kind of a horrible world we live in
The problem however is that the "niceness" more often than not is not genuine. It comes from a place of manipulation because said guy isn't saying whatever his true intentions are, which is he desires (xyz) from said woman.
You just don't understand
Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Be nice, and women say you're not being sincere. Be not nice, and women say you're being controlling and abusive.
@@swlc5555 Exactly my point
@@swlc5555Amen. No matter what you do it's never good enough
As a reforming nice guy there's also the aspect that I never had a masculine template for boundaries. I was taught that the masculine template is toxic.
May I ask how old you are? Im 26 and I feel the exact same way, as if, in the last 10 years, I have been lied to.
@@sxed4vid you have learnt early. That is good
Engage with them like they are disposable and remind that to yourself 100 times. It will help you control the nice guy bullshit you were infected with.
It's difficult to be assertive when your dad was a pathetic drunken abuser, which made you swear to 'never be like him'.
@@JohnM... this in turn makes one into the best man feminism could ever want.
I'm a nice guy, but I don't tolerate childish behavior from an adult. I can go from nice guy to military dad in a second. Yes, I know my nice guy behavior may not seem masculine to women, but I'd rather be genuinely nice than a prick. A woman who only sees me as a nice guy tells me she doesn't care enough to get to know me.
Same.
I think you are confusing nice guy with a kind guy. You can be kind with boundaries (not being a prick). It’s hard to be a nice guy because its rooted in people pleasing behavior with hidden agenda - and it’s disingenuous.
@@kodiakmtn3193 Exactly.
A gentleman or a nice guy.
A man needs to be a good captain. You could see a captain being defeated but you know he did his absolute best to win, you can even see him show concern or frustration while keeping a will to fight. It is different when the captain panics or shows a defeated attitude before the crew or shows self pity.
Ive never heard this stuff explained so clearly and simply before. Every thing she says is so easy to understand and resonate with. Sadia has a real talent for communication. Beauty and brains..what a combo!
I think disagreeableness is a quality of a good man. If you stand for nothing, you'll fall for anything.
WOW... It struck hard on me when she said the lack of a father contributes to be a people pleaser. I lost my father when I was a baby, I have a huge problem of being a pleaser and unable to set boundaries. I had huge problems with women with short-lived relationships. Now that I´ve been learning this over the years I´m trying hard to change it.
I learned recently in a painful way that I’m a people pleaser, and it partially led to the ruin of my relationship. Guess what? I grew up without a father!
@@13sprintuser Insane the stuff we learn so late in life!! Keep strong and try to change.
As a recovering people pleaser. Not having a father does often lead to many other internal wounds that often needs to be healed😢
I loved how strong she is , not only in love advice but I’m life as well. She didn’t let mainstream media to push her to ignore the genocide in Gaza. She’s a human in all senses
I have heard these explanations many times through the years but the way she explains it makes it so much clearer.
I love how this chap questions , answers and his insight and observations are great.
His name is Chris Williamson, a British podcaster. My favourite to be honest.
I swear I just did everything backwards. WAKE UP CALL. Thank you, Sadia !
This is probably the number 1 question asked by guys seeking relationship advice, brilliantly reframed so it can be understood from a female perspective.
Ask her out, break out of the friend zone one way or another…don’t be afraid of rejection.
eeehhhh, dont say shit like that. It all depends on the situation. If he's at work, for the love of God, DO NOT ASK HER OUT. Don't EVER ask out the girl at work. If she wants to approach you, ok cool, go for it. But never be the initiator in that environment.
No bruh !! Be sexually word your words immediately so you don't get friendzoned .
How she points out everything so much near accurately? Especially in these kinda subject.It's fascinating..Always love to hear her insights. There's always something clicks on mind every time.
Women don’t know what they want…
Be assertive as she recommended,
and some will become resentful of you🤷🏾♂️
The rule is not universal
The problem is not being nice but lack of masculinity and boundaries. Perfectly said.
well, yes & no....many times a man sets boundries & the woman says, ,,,FU, i won't be controlled....so they don't date ....then the woman says....Where's all the good men at...?
if you want to see the true character of a person give them power and see what they do with it. Enough said.
*Instead of always trying to please, focus on self-respect and honesty about your intentions. When you don’t constantly seek approval, it becomes clear you’re looking for something meaningful - not just another friendship!*
I've got to say...this is one of the best podcasts I've heard in a long while when it comes to relationships between men and women. I've been in a predicament with a woman that I have known for three years and managed to put myself in the friend zone. I've listen to Sadia talking about these things and she is so right about why I failed. Thank you and well done.
Send her to courier her to coach greg adam
Listen to men not women about these matters.
Yes it’s hard to be nice yet masculine because everyone calls it toxic masculinity which is massively annoying
here is the point. Boundries are important yes, but "modern women" who view masculinity as toxic will be offended on your boundries the first time when she wants to make her way.
It's only toxic masculinity if you're not good looking
@@dubdogstep Yea it’s almost impossible to please them now a days
@@nightfangs2910 Yeah or rich smh
how about be interesting?
Hats off to this woman! Until I stumbled across Sadia on social media I whole heartedly and physiologically believed that it was impossible for any woman (due to her biological make up) to truly explain how women think about and perceive men. We must treasure this woman at all costs, the mental strength she has to overpower all her intense and scattered emotions is astonishing, to enable us guys to understand the female psyche in a way that ultimately no other woman can!
Thank you, Sadia!
A very clear headed woman.
What you said about fathers is so true. A good, involved father is everything.
Also, growing up in a friend group of boys and girls, where you play together, listen to music together, talk together. It gives you a strong baseline of understanding that can last a lifetime.
I just learned the meaning of the word "Nice" .....Nice, it turns out, began as a negative term derived from the Latin nescius, meaning “unaware, ignorant.” This sense of “ignorant” was carried over into English when the word was first borrowed (via French) in the early 1300s. I can see this because being nice does get a person hurt from being unaware or ignorant to RED FLAGS, that usually happens....you've said in a previous video that women tell men exactly who they are at the very beginning but we guys are 'NICE' or really ignorant of all the signs a women gives us that she isn't truly interested
Yup! Bingo, you nailed it!
. It is a common belief that no matter what we do, we can never fully satisfy someone, whether they are a man or a woman. While it is important to establish boundaries and be a good person, it is challenging to be someone who truly understands and ignites the essence of genuine love. If we constantly set limits, we may never succeed as a partner. Perhaps the key lies in convincing others that the root cause of our problems is the inherent flaws in humanity and the presence of malevolence in our lives. Simply walking away from a situation does not equate to learning; comprehending the true nature of our significant other is an entirely different matter. Admittedly, there are times when we mistakenly invest our time in the wrong individuals, and changing our behavior remains an ongoing discussion without a definitive solution.
There's a mindset shift required for you to remain healthy and feel it is congruent with you, acting healthy doesn't appear to GIVE you what you want but it actually does. It makes the people not receptive to your healthiness not like you, it gives you what you perceive as negative i.e. not getting the girl, which is actually the positive.
The rejection becomes a good thing because you know you're from a place of healthiness the issue actually lies with the other person at that point.
As ive gotten older i can definitley walk away from disrepectful behaviour.
the way men can escape the friend zone, is by getting a passport and dating real women elsewhere in the world
Passport bro sported
No. If you don't deal with things at the root the same problem will appear no matter where you go.
You'll never get a woman with this attitude
@@gaia7240 really?
then what should be my attitude that will get me a woman?
Getting a woman is not the end goal a quality woman is and trust me even the women outside by passport bros still aren't enough for me. They are crap.
My God the mental gymnastics that women use is fucking astounding. Like, how do they even keep up? Men have to do this, but if they do this too little or too much, they're not sexually viable anymore. Men have to do that, but oh shit, she had to tell you to do one of the five things that you do for her, so now you can't protect her. But they will gladly get spread eagle for the dude that is literally cheating right in front of her. I'm so glad that I learned this lesson early on. I feel bad for the timid, average looking dudes currently in their 20s. Have fun boys.
Yeah, it all about what she want. They are a mess, why do we need to even bother.
A very honest and straightforward talk by both him and her. I've seldom seen a man and a woman honestly acknowledge and admit that they both live in separate, seemingly unconnected, mutually impenetrable worlds, and that male and female brains are wired differently, therefore causing all the communication barriers which make well-succeeded dating so hard to attain. This insight alone is no doubt a good starting point for correcting relationship mistakes and starting to set things straight, by realizing that men's and women's intentions almost NEVER match, and that's where all the confusion and misunderstanding comes from, i.e., when you say, "how can he/she have understood this/that, when I was meaning right the opposite?" In fact, a mating between a man and a woman is truly a miracle if we think about it and considering how different and disparate men and women really are.
Yes this is true , I always gave the nice guy a chance but he became a yes man and I always lose respect and intrest , be a leader and have firm boundaries then you nice guys will win , we want to feel safe
Oh
You mean you want the emotional drama.
@@StimParavaneread it again, you don't get it 😮
@@Didi-fr5ic No you don't get it. The principle characteristic that women look for in men is egotism and if you don't understand it or you won't admit to it then you are either a fool or a liar.
@@StimParavanea womens core need is to feel safe with a man emotionally and physically so we try hard to learn how you men think and we put in the work but some of you men don't understand the mind of a women this is why you got trigerred by the message , wish you healing and all the best but hating on women because I literally told you what women need and you just went the other way instead of understanding so this tells me you got hurt or are unsuccessful with women , good luck
The more I listen to this woman, the more I appreciate her. She thinks like a woman, but her logic is so agreeable. 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
One thing I've found hard about having female friends is that their boyfriends are always suspicious. It only works if I vibe with the guy too. Have to be friends with the couple.
That's true.
The bf should be suspicious, majority of people lack self control when it comes to the opposite sex.
@@ty57404 Yeah, it's perfectly understandable, just something that makes it difficult. I've been friends with a couple different ladies from work or school who I had zero interest in, then start hanging out outside of that context and have nothing in common with her boyfriend. My friendship with these ladies ends up depending on how healthy the trust is in their relationship, which I obviously have zero control over. If I vibe with the dude, then I end up being primarily friends with him. Just an odd dynamic I've noticed.
@@ty57404 ... correct, myself included.
I agree with this! I like when my partner is friends with my best guy friend. It’s important to me and I think it can help with building trust that you really are friends and nothing more ☺️
She is spot on… women need healthy boundaries and attention. Moderation.
We should also be looking for a woman who can calmly set boundaries and explain her expectations, and be able to listen to your boundaries, needs, and expectations.
We can't read each other's minds, I think is the point here.
If it ( someone) costs you your peace it's too expensive
Yes, very simple, but very true. That´s the way things are, and , in these situations, we have to evolve and adapt.
Why can't I just expect the woman that I am with to act like an adult? If men an women are equal, then why is it the man's responsibility to teach a grown woman how to behave?
Exactly, why do we always have to lead and decide for them. It's like women want to be children and wants us to be their father. They never want to be an adult.
Men and women aren't entirely equal. This is more proof that God is real, because of how he designed us.
Yep. she says if i have to tell you this and that and you do it.. you suck. No he is listening to your opinion and entertaining it. Don't want to sound rude to anyone but I couldn't entertain this woman for 30 minutes.
This was a very compact and interesting segment. Well done by both. And I would agree, having female friends help the guy understand female psychology without destroying him.
so does having sisters, same for girls w/brothers.
100% accurate explanation.
Totally on point 👈, it is exactly the psicology behind
Sadia has most points right and totally sorted.
Nothing and no one can make a woman happy other than herself, and when she is happy with herself, she will be able to relate to you consciously and communicate clearly so you're never cut off in silence because you don't know what you've done wrong to upset her, when she is her own happiness she is not co-dependant on you to make her happy and will call you out in the moment of anything less than conscious, because she wants to share her happiness with a conscious man who is also his own happiness, in that she has compassion because she who knows that she is a loving kind conscious being and not just using you to entertain her narcissistic ego only to discard you when she trips you up with her crap tests, which maybe unconscious checking that can can handle her at her worst to deserve her at her best. If you fail, then you are of no value. Learn your lesson, let go, move on and be better prepared to win the next challenge, stand tall warrior in your own truth, never surrender to falsehood, and always call her out on her nonsense, with kindness and gentleness as a gentleman and yet with firm leadership, if you don't lead then she will follow someone else. Woman gives birth to men to lead, if she is emasculating you, then she is not your one.
Easy way to avoid the their friend zone is - don't be their friend, its not to hard.
The answer: BE ATTRACTIVE.
Guys you will find someone who will fit for you, yes keep learning from a positive perspective, listen to men, they know who you are, she just read the books, she can't understand us, and if the interviewer disagrees, she become vulnerable. Sorry Sadia, I am helping the guys too.
The friendzone isn't as bad at all, hahaha :) - Great to know. 😂 But what i've experienced is that i've been friends for years, few years with female(s). Sure, learned a lot from them. But there always pops up, some stupid thing, which they stab you in the back. And i can't stand that and cannot accept bad behavior and cut them off immediately. The female who did it, will never return, eventually the "friendship" ends. They can't say "I'm sorry, that ... this/that". Well, she didn't. In evolutionairy psychology: i read that women are narcissistic in their nature as compensation for 30% less muscle-power. So they needed manipulation/narcissistic traits to survive and will never say "sorry" (an element of narcissism). I think it's that simple, why men cannot stay friends w/women. Women are survival-creatures and therefore mostly me me me me me (and kids).
Friendzone means the backup crew. From what I observed from others they only have those types of men around to supply her with the resources she needs and maybe sometime in the future one of those guys can have the opportunity to be the main man. As a man you have to truly despise yourself to believe that you must be okay with the one you want to have a relationship with having countless sexual partners while you watch in the background. Guys if you're talking to a woman with the intention of having a serious relationship and she says she's not interested I would recommend moving on. Thousands of women are interested in something serious so why waste your time as a backup?
@@HolyGem333 I have taken the red pill but don't dwell in it. The red pill lens now is on and will never go off. But evolutionary psychology = 'key'. Now knowing that, I know how, when and strategically, to move on. And when not and give her "a chance..."
watch when a group of men try to vulture around you.....when you are with those women..
This woman is the wisest woman I’ve ever heard 🙏🏻
Thank you are poor mind
The answer for me has always been, "Be the leader." My approach has been, "Hey look, here is where I plan to go with my life. I'm looking for a woman would would be my force multiplier. If you aren't cool with that, I'm not picking you to join my team." Helps that I've been elected as leader to many different organizations and have been called a natural leader.
"Nice guys" irritate me as well. They are spineless people with no sense of direction in life; they make lousy followers much less leaders.
So she has to be in your frame ,that’s not what she’s talking about ,sounds like it’s all about u ,date urself lol ,strong men are ok with strong women they can be apart of the woman’s life and vice versa they aren’t insecure not being the women’s life an vice versa ,,seperate ness is as important as togetherness an if you are insecure,that’s weak,,,anyone can be in your frame ,but can you be in her frame ,that’s a real man ☀️
@@laurahenry3562 No, those guys are the more pliable beta males. Nothing wrong with that since I don't use the term beta as an insult. There can't be two alphas in a relationship since they are probably headed towards different destinations.
@@bhavom4037 You don't sound like much of a leader. A real leader has a sense of destiny. Yours is manager talk.
Nice guys are partially right, it's good to be nice. I think maybe they don't realize, they're never going to get anything from women, more than handouts. Unless they come up with whatever good enough to get the best things she might feel like sharing with them. It'd probably be worth it for them.
@@telephonepolaroids If nice guys don't get chosen, then he is wrong full stop. At the end of the day, nature only cares about results (whether he reproduce and raise successful offspring in adequate numbers), not justifications.
Have flexible boundaries, you won't get a long term relationship because the woman starts to hate you. Have firm boundaries, a woman leaves you after a decade or more because she feels "never heard". That's the reality. Sadia is naive.
She's always bang on about how women feel though, that friends bit was platinum.
A man can learn how to make a woman feel and BE heard, AND have boundaries. Having boundaries does not mean always being selfish.
@Sadia & Chris - There is a LOT of value to having female friends BUT you need to pick them EXTREMELY carefully.
Because you are entering friendship where SHE holds almost all the cards because in the same way "a birthday party" can ruin the friendship but also destroys your current romantic relationship in the process. It is like entering a minefield with clown shoes on. The benefits are real if she is on your side, but you need to need to be very aware AND have a very clear filter on the advice that is given. - Often even if it is genuine.
I think for most men who are asking for help, this is a very bad place to start, but a great way to get to understand womanese.
Same for woman. If your too nice men take you for granted until your forced to walk away.
Sadia made a video about "why women who earn more leave".
If she works hard she still wants to come home and have him take care of her.
So then, she is taking on the leading role of provider, he is taking on the submissive caring role.
She is masculine, he is feminine. These "nice, caring" men get seen as weak and it never ends well.
Your so right women do speak in code and unfortunately men have not got the code breaker strategy to understand what she has just said and just take things at face value.
im 25 and never had a girlfriend and used to be a people pleaser..i relate to what you said about "treat them mean" having an absent father (he was there physically just not emotionally) and i ended up being clingy for most of my life..my father never taught me anything about dating or relationships or sex and im not sure if that was his job anyways. i've always had low self esteem and getting rejected by girls in school made it even worse...i remember being friends with girls in school but i think they eventually distanced themselves from me because they thought i was trying to court them or something even though it was not my intention.
when women reject me they are always bitchy about it..i have never heard a woman say "not interested" ever it's always been some kind of degrading comments about my looks or what i said..im not scared of rejection im scared of getting humiliated again so i ask out women less...
because of years of women being mean to me in that regard..when women are nice to me nowadays it feels very strange and i dont know how to react...i've been complimented only once in my life it was about 5 ot 6 years ago and a girl said i was cute and i remember not knowing what to say so i panicked and walked away. When women are nice to me nowadays i feel like there is some ulterior motive behind their action. i've always struggled feeling worthy but ive been going to therapy for several years now and i am getting better at it but i find it difficult to put myself out there to meet women and balancing that with my career.
so yea what you say about being volatile is definitely something i relate to and once i get into a relationship my fear is that i just panick and wont know what to do or how to react and that could be a potential problem. I'm not scared of commitment i am just unsure of the chaos as you said.
Literally me everyday exact same scenario and I’m 21
Wow we needed a podcats about this bs as well
Simple. Stop trying to date women who do not like you. Either be happy sticking as her friend or stop being her friend.
Facts. She ain't choosing you.
@@jacobclayton2954...and they ARE the choosers. Diff from 2 generations ago. Women all have independent careers..don't really need a steady guy except for children
I can totally relate to what Sadia is saying about having male friends. I also find conversations with males more interesting and more fun because they are easier to be around. They can joke and we can have a laugh, even at ourselves. I feel the connections are more genuine for sure!
I am "nice", but if you push to far I can be worse than serial killer and I am capable of Samson option and don't care about my life and life of others involved. I am nice because I don't want to make trouble, because I know how things could go very bad. So I am rather nice to some extent than being to much selfish. Some people could see being nice as sign of weakness but they are unaware what some "nice guys" are capable of.
By the way, Sadia is somewhat smart, and her looks makes her a favour to spread her message. But she hit the wall and blames older men because they like younger women, as this is biologically ingrained in male human species.
i totally agree and relate, dont mistake kindness for weakness, i dont want to ruffle feathers when i talk to people, female or not, cuz who knows if they may get offended or if they will feel hurt enough to take revenge?
especially with woman with feelings "oh so sensitive". im a guy with pretty high eq, pretty sensitive guy but im tired of the games tbh, act interested, dont act interested, notice her body language, i heard all that PUA, redpill, even black pill shit, its toxic, why cant we just treat others with genuine respect/kindness without being seen as desperate or "emasculate" (idk if thats a word lol). life is so complicated the way it is.
why is meeting someone for companionship/ to fuck so hard? surely the human race didnt grow to its current population if they didnt have nearly as much access alll this pua and female psychology bs (they cud be tru most cases but generalizations nah)
This is the wrong kind of nice.
That means you're not nice at all. It means you're dangerous and no woman should feel safe with you. They should get away from you until you've learned to self regulate.
Even if you did run into a beautiful woman with a big heart, this would be the problem.
"When You're In Love With A Beautiful Woman"
When you're in love with a beautiful woman
It's hard
When you're in love with a beautiful woman
You know it's hard
Everybody wants her
Everybody loves her
Everybody wants to take your baby home
When you're in love with a beautiful woman
You watch your friends
When you're in love with a beautiful woman
It never ends
You know that it's crazy
You want to trust her
Then somebody hangs up when you answer the phone
When you're in love with a beautiful woman
You go it alone
Maybe it's just an ego problem
Problem is, I've been fooled before
By fair weathered friends and faint hearted lovers
And everytime it happens
It just convinces me more
When you're in love with a beautiful woman
You watch her eyes
When you're in love with a beautiful woman
You look for lies
Everybody tempts her
Everybody tells her
She's the most beautiful woman they know
When you're in love with a beautiful woman
You go it alone
When you're in love with a beautiful woman
You watch your friends
When you're in love with a beautiful woman
Yeah it never ends
When you're in love with a beautiful woman
You watch her eyes
When you're in love with a beautiful woman
You keep looking for lies
I've friend zoned plenty of unfriendly uncooperative cruel self centered women who are just looking for a father figure to sponsor them.
She is 100% telling the truth.
Surely only children need boundaries.
Exactly lol
Women are really easy for me to understand. They don't confuse me, nor do I fear the depths of their emotions or the precieved chaos they exhibit. Life is so much easier because of this.
If I had to recommend some books to start out with, try The Way of the Superior Man and 3% Man. If you don't read them several times over or practice what's in them, then you might not get to where I'm at.
Sorry I will say that since I don't want to get anyone offended but I hope it can be of any help. Speaking from my personal point of view these are the 2 great turn offs I very often see men tend to do to please the object of their desires (and I put a disclaimer here - I am not a relationship professional or something):
The first thing is ignoring their wants and needs just to please the person they like - for example changing their opinion on something just because that person expressed an opposite of theirs' point of view. Putting you immediately in a weak - willed, submissive position (absolutely opposite to the masculine energy); Very simple example to make things clear:
Group of people decide where to go to lunch. Boy A says - let's go to this new Italian restaurant. I heard they make very nice pasta". Girl B says: "Oh I don't really like pasta. Let's go for sushi". And the case is closed - everyone goes for sushi, even though boy A hates sushi. Even worse: Boy A says - let's go wherever Girl B decides. I know of course any relationship with people is build on compromises but it shouldn't be always on you. Good way to handle such situation is - point out that this is not your best option but this time it will be on you; and next time it should be you to decide. Please make sure your opinion is well heard and also taken care of. Don't be afraid to express your opinion even though it won't match the one of the masses. Actually it is more often the people with the different opinion who stand out.
Second thing - an extension to the "good guy" topic - being overly nice even though the person really showed no interest or even worse - they clearly told you they have no interest. I think it is not that hard to tell if someone likes you or not. If they made it clear that they are not interested and you still keep pushing yourself, making unwanted offers still trying to please them - this makes things even worse. This actually makes this worse even for the other person, too, because it puts them in an unsettling position to feel obliged to keep responding to you, since well you are a nice guy right, so they have to be nice with you, as well, even though they really don't feel and want that connection. If you really feel that your interest is not reciprocated, please have the dignity to move on, there is plenty of fish in sea!
Who tf cares if someone gets offended. Express yourself.
Thanks for the insights.
sadia valid asf this whole podcast. no sugar coating, no bs, all raw truth.
Finding female friends who don't get jealous is nearly impossible when you're female. Men will just say what they think. It's refreshing.
I’m an attractive, educated, fit, hardworking and humble woman who is always friend zoned by men.. I’m usually described as “unique” which I hate.. I’m starting to think I’m too much for an average man who usually likes the shallow superficial and materialistic woman
Don’t be humble. Ewww.
Be a prize.
Cap. Guys don’t friend zone you. You’re just not girlfriend or wife material.
My ex partner told me that I intimidate him on an intellectual level
My ex boyfriend told me that I clearly was more experienced than him in life
And my male friend (who I friendzoned) told me that guys didn’t chase me because they were intimidated or they were 100% sure I was goin to say no ( which is true)
I stopped dating down
I reserved myself for only guys that I felt were successful in all areas I perceive I am.
I also changed the mindset of single=unattractive
I don’t think you can score people
I think your are either attractive or not that’s is
You’ll see guys who don’t fit the beauty standards but you can clearly feel the magnetism or their persona
Same women who are not the standard of beauty and men gravitate towards them because she is clearly interesting and attractive
So a high value men looks for someone who he feels attracted to and holds the same value as him
Easy and plain as that.
@@NeighborTom you don’t know her how could you put the blame on her
She might be, she might be not
You don’t know, this comment is very “fresh and fit” like.
You don't have to answer me, but men care about looks. Her income or education is not what men are primarily looking for. I don't know what you look like, but if a woman is above her normal weight relative to her height and has an average face, that makes it harder for her to find a man. It's the same way a woman wants a six-figure man. Men in general disqualify average looking girls while women disqualify average earning men. But answer me this. Is it easier for a women to stay in shape than it is for a man to make six figures? Of course it is. Men in general have to work harder in life to get an attractive, or even average women. And plus, usually educated high earning women feel entitled to high value men. That's not how it works. A women's worth from a mans perspective is her looks and femininity. Not her income/education.
Generally speaking, the only woman who may have loved us men unconditionally (if you were lucky) was your "mother"; we spend a lifetime looking for a woman like mom who will love us like she did in a similar manner, "unconditional", but we find there are hardly "NO WOMEN "who love their man, in this manner (unconditionally). These women are few and far between ~ a woman who can love her man the way a momma loves her children. I know it is a different kind of love, but it is a powerful love that mothers have for their kids.
I am not saying we want an Incestuous relationship, but a woman who genuinely loves and cares for us in this power way. I was fortunate to have a mom who loved me deeply, I have never experienced that level of bonding with a woman since. Now, I have loved them very deeply, but they have not loved me ~ to that same level. Now I have had women adore me, and want me, but generally it was gals that I was not attracted too. I have not had one that I was attracted ~ that loved me the way I wanted to be loved ~ Men need a woman to be romantically in love, and to genuinely care for us, and the relationship, more than their survival instinct...
Question: will YOU give HER unconditional love?.No love should be given with no boundaries whatsoever. Even a mother should have set boundaries with her children.
An amazing conversation! Thank you both!
so basically, call her out on bs, and be willing to leave if the BS is beyond tolerable
Or play into her game and nick a few quid from her purse here and there and hookup with her sister and her friends. Be the wolf that got in the chicken den.
I don't mind being "friend-zoned" As an older man who really doesn't want to get in a relation, or get "re" volved with one, I'm perfectly happy talking to them. I find them interesting. It's something to do, go out, have a dinner or coffee. But I'm happy alone. I've seen enough in my life. I spend the extra time making money, I do alright making decisions.
They get bored with nice guys as well, they need some kind of thrill, even if that is a bit chaotic or slightly distant
Wrong..they don't get bored with an authentic man.
“It’s haram” and does the cutest giggle. Idk something about that just made me fall in love with her. ❤❤❤
Listen to Casey Zander; he understands women's psychology like no other
Small town college girls at least
This is Awesome. I'm so glad we're starting to have these conversations. #love #respect
It means simply in general women they don't know what they want. They say they want a nice guy then they say he is so soft. Then, they say they want the rich but they don't like that he cheats or he has lots of options. They say they want the player but those men don't want to commit and they became angry. Then they say we want the handsome but that handsome has hundreds of beautiful women as friends and they don't like that either.
After all of that they become lonely single women with a cat and they are the feminists and say all men are bad.
You hit the nail on the head my brother
Right up until he makes a decision she doesn't like and/or has negative consequences then he's inconsiderate, a jerk, bad communicator and a fool.
The whole having female friends is maybe good in your teenage years and 20s, but if you haven’t learned anything by 30 then thinking you need female friends is not a good idea.
To answer her question: I'm nice and respectful to all. That's how I was raised. But I also call B.S. when I see it and deal with it ASAP! Respect in a relationship now is very important because these "modern" women will try anything! Just to how far they can get.
I kind of want to watch the rest of the podcast ,this was an interesting one
I could listen to her for hours. She's so fit.
The key is to be a good person in your thought processes and the way you carry yourself, but you don't necessarily need to be a pushover in your execution. Sometimes you're going to have an unpopular stance on something and you will have to stand on it. Don't play yourself, and don't give anyone more of your time, attention, and resources than they have proven they're worthy of.
As a man, who’s dated a LOT, at 57, you can have women as acquaintances, but as far as hanging out or doing things together, you can, but one of these people thinks it’s going somewhere at sometime. Or one you is very ugly. 😅
I value her perspective, and she may very well speak for the majority of women, but not all women, because what I am hearing sounds very black and white, heteronormative, not consider the gender spectrum and people who are are LGBT. These people may each be in the minority but you add all the non-heteronormative people up and you have a significant percentage of the population. There are literally women who want to be dominant and want a submissive man. To call these women manipulative is to also call all dominant men manipulative. To say a submissive man is weak is to say a submissive woman is weak. I am glad the speaker is being honest and revealing what perhaps most feel - just as I would be glad if a typical man were to reveal with honesty the way he looks down on submissive woman, because gentle, thoughtful honesty is how we learn about each other and gain understanding. However it’s also healthy to point out that there are people who do not fit into the cookie cutter mold. Consider the paralyzed people, who are dependent. Consider the neurodivergent. Consider the polyamorous. The asexuals. If you aren’t doing this, you can’t really say what women want if you’re only considering the 51%
Amazing insight: to avoid being friendzoned, have a lot of female friends first. Basically the friendzone is a ritual of initiation. You don't get out of its loop if you don't do enough of it.
I understand her point but after high school I don’t see the value of female friends like in most cases if you don’t reach out to them they won’t reach out to you or if you want to hangout u have to invite them out they won’t invite u out and some even expect you to pay
@@blankprivatecompany9296 You're describing a situation where you don't have enough, or enough good ones, so you can only remedy by doing more of it, just with different girls. It's a harsh thing to think about, but logic dictates that if friends don't invite us and reach out for us, maybe we're not doing enough for them, or we're not that fun, or not that interesting. Improve yourself, and your friends will improve (I'm in the same situation, and that's the suggestion I give to myself.)
0:00-1:30 ...That was me. Thinking I did the right thing to keep harmony in my relationship. Learned that the hard way unfortunately.
If you're having female friends and considering them as a training ground.
That's when they get hooked and the friendship is nolonger a friendship.
If the guy or lady has much to give and the opposite gender gravitates towards them. That in itself if a point of attraction in itself that causes attachment.
There will always be the person who likes the other more in such cases and goes on to love more deeply.
I honestly don't think men and women can be "just friends"
That is if we're talking of friendship it it's truest sense.
Close colleagues, acquaintances, workmates...
That could be possible. But out of that bubble. Naaaa
But that thing I’m confused by we’re do you find a female friend that’s of value
@@blankprivatecompany9296 most times the men end up wifing them.😝✌🏾
I agree. No one wants to he someone's "practice woman". It's a terrible thing to do to a person!
I learned this all on my own a few years back. So now I no longer pander to or pedestalize women