Leaving Polygamy: Who Still Believes? And Who Has Left?

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  • Опубліковано 20 вер 2020
  • Who in my family still lives a polygamist lifestyle, follows Warren Jeffs, and can I still talk to them? How many of my siblings have left?

КОМЕНТАРІ • 108

  • @misslindsayyy9870
    @misslindsayyy9870 3 роки тому +4

    I love y’all’s videos. It’s so nice to see such open minded perspectives along with views of the past. Seeking truth in the spiritual/religious world is a very very complex process. There are so many pros but it is also an evolving view point. Just very complicated. So it is nice to see resilient people like yourselves where you were both brought up to believe whole heartedly in the FLDS religion for Sam and LDS religion for Melissa, both being very devoted to your belief system and then being able to follow your hearts and your calling for yourselves individually and your family after being so invested. Being in a heavily concentrated LDS community in Gilbert AZ (and also exploring it myself), I know for a fact that is difficult to do. It takes incredibly strong people to do that. I love seeing your story. So thank you for sharing! Best wishes and all the blessings to your family!! 💛

  • @mfcook1
    @mfcook1 2 роки тому +10

    It amazes me that older adults are afraid to talk to their children. I just can’t wrap my head around that. If the people are scattered and Jeffs is in prison, who are they afraid of?

    • @yaelstieglitz5872
      @yaelstieglitz5872 2 роки тому +3

      Probably god

    • @powderandpaint14
      @powderandpaint14 Рік тому +2

      God I think, or not getting to heaven.

    • @opienattyvlogs7930
      @opienattyvlogs7930 Рік тому +1

      Sadly thats what cults do most of these cults and extreme religions use God and religion to put fear into these poor

    • @bbearsmama
      @bbearsmama Місяць тому

      I’m curious about this as well. Love your channel!

    • @Geminidina
      @Geminidina Місяць тому

      And after everything that has come out of the sick stuff Waren did to the young girls… how can they think that’s godly? 😤 the Netflix documentary had a lot of disturbing videos and audio.

  • @makylamosley7724
    @makylamosley7724 3 роки тому +1

    Thank you for sharing. Thank you for sharing a piece of your world and heart with us.

  • @mkpetersen1607
    @mkpetersen1607 3 роки тому +32

    So interesting to hear about your point of view!
    I was wondering how mothers pick names. Were there also common names like Peter, Mary, Simon, etc. that several kids were called or did the community (and especially within a family) try to avoid picking the same name several times?

  • @nancyepeters2958
    @nancyepeters2958 3 роки тому +8

    Thank u for sharing your story! I've always been fascinated by flds so I'm very interested in your story!

    • @GrowingUpinPolygamy
      @GrowingUpinPolygamy  3 роки тому +1

      Thank you for watching! Let me know if you have any questions.

  • @siduri03rob
    @siduri03rob Рік тому +1

    Do you know if any of your relatives that still follow FLDS have TVs and watch your show?
    I stumbled onto your show while scrolling UA-cam and have been a bit fascinated with your situation. I find your presentations very respectful and I’m impressed with the life and family you’ve created for yourselves!

  • @myrnaeberhardt4993
    @myrnaeberhardt4993 2 роки тому +2

    Make some new episodes please. Love you guys and your stories.

  • @serobinson1
    @serobinson1 3 роки тому +15

    I can’t imagine how hard it was, that was a very brave thing to do!

  • @torycook1215
    @torycook1215 2 роки тому

    Great video.
    Very informative.
    You are a beautiful couple.🌹💕

  • @Brittany.Anderson
    @Brittany.Anderson Рік тому +1

    Please do an updated version of this video.

  • @covertLLC
    @covertLLC 3 роки тому +9

    Hey Sam & Melissa, thank you so much for sharing your story of living in, and growing up in the FLDS in a polygamous family. It can't be easy to share your story that could possibly further distance you from your family members that are currently still practicing FLDS Mormon polygamy. I have a question that I hope you don't feel is too intrusive, I'm asking out of sheer curiosity and mean you no disrespect, so here goes. With all of the reality-based television shows and documentaries available about Mormon polygamist groups, I know that you probably get asked plenty of offensive questions so I want to be adamant about my intent to not offend you or you beautiful wife in any way. With that being said, don't feel obligated to answer my query about your specific situation. I was just wondering with the abundance of FLDS content on television has any of your family, friends, or acquaintances ever been on any of the reality shows that are available for public consumption, and have any of the people that have been featured on those type of programs that left ever attempted to return to the group? I also would like to know how anyone who has been on a reality show or documentary that attempted to return was treated when they did decide to return to the group?? Again I truly appreciate y'all sharing your experiences with us and wish y'all nothing but the best and happiness. I hope that you're able to reconnect with your estranged family members that are still practicing FLDS parishioners in the future.

    • @GrowingUpinPolygamy
      @GrowingUpinPolygamy  3 роки тому +13

      Thank you so much for watching! We appreciate your concern, but these are not too intrusive at all! =) My family that is still practicing polygamy is not allowed to have contact with me, or UA-cam haha, so luckily sharing my story can't really distance us any further. I have had some cousins that have been on reality TV shows before, but none of them have attempted to return to the group. Because they are not allowed to watch TV or use the internet out there, they wouldn't have a knowledge of who was on the shows anyway. If anyone was to try and go back after being on reality TV, they would still most likely be accepted back as long as they seemed sincere. And if the person seemed sincere, then they would just keep a close eye on them until they knew for sure.

  • @mcmelre
    @mcmelre 3 роки тому +16

    I have had some (very limited) contact with members of the FLDS, because my in laws moved to Cedar City, UT and there is a decently large population there. We when we would visit, we would see them around town allllll the time. Also, there is a family that owns a shop where they sell farm fresh dairy like artisan cheeses, raw milk, homemade frozen yogurt, etc. It's called Finney Farm and they were just the nicest people. At first I was nervous, I assumed they would treat us differently (maybe be rude?) Because we clearly weren't FLDS, or even LDS, and I wear shorts and tank tops and such, but nope, they never treated us any differently than anyone else, they were always perfectly polite and kind, albeit quiet and a bit reserved. You guys make such interesting videos, I really enjoy your content!

  • @heatherburrell8412
    @heatherburrell8412 3 роки тому +11

    If your youngest siblings are able get a message to you, could they leave before age 18 if wanting…… my heart aches for your mother ….I do. not want your mother to regret her life …but perhaps she will leave when her youngest child is out of the house ….. this would be painful either way …as half her heart must ache with either side ..those who stay vs those who go

  • @cathrinefrydenlund3180
    @cathrinefrydenlund3180 3 роки тому +10

    Thank you for sharing your story. You have mentioned the adult men working outside of the community and thus having contact with people outside the FLDS. You also said that half of your siblings have left the FLDS and that it's almost impossible to leave before turning 18. Are most of the siblings that have left, young men? Is it harder for a (young) woman to leave? Can you give us some insight as to what life inside the FLDS is like for girls and women?

    • @GrowingUpinPolygamy
      @GrowingUpinPolygamy  3 роки тому +23

      Great question! Yes, out of the 15 that have left, only two of them are sisters. Luckily, one of my sisters has agreed to come do a video with us in a few weeks, so you will get to hear first hand what it was like for her as a girl and leaving. Stay tuned! =)

    • @cathrinefrydenlund3180
      @cathrinefrydenlund3180 3 роки тому +2

      @@GrowingUpinPolygamy Thank you. I'll be looking forward to that video. ☺️

  • @lindsay_may
    @lindsay_may 3 роки тому +9

    It must have been such a hard decision for you to leave your community knowing that you would have limited contact with your family from that point on. Good on you for having the strength to do that! I hope that one day you can be reunited with your family that are still following the flds leaders!

    • @GrowingUpinPolygamy
      @GrowingUpinPolygamy  3 роки тому +8

      Hi Lindsay! Thank you so much. It is having people like you in my life, with so much support and love, that helps me through each day. I'm still holding out hope that one day I'll be reunited with them. Thank you again for your support!

    • @lindsay_may
      @lindsay_may 3 роки тому +3

      @@GrowingUpinPolygamy Thank YOU for sharing your story with us! :)

  • @dubosesjoy
    @dubosesjoy 3 роки тому +3

    Hi there! Is there a way that we could get a summary of your family at the beginning of each video? I think there are a lot of assumptions on what we already know. Like how many mothers are there? Siblings?

  • @MrJacobpacheco
    @MrJacobpacheco 3 роки тому +7

    Parowan, a small town north of Cedar City, has a lot of pliggas moving in for the past few years. I grew up there.

    • @covertLLC
      @covertLLC 3 роки тому

      That's a new one....😬

    • @gabriellerush
      @gabriellerush 3 роки тому +1

      wouldn’t know if I would use the word pliggas…

  • @pamelavargas6811
    @pamelavargas6811 7 місяців тому +1

    Still watching videos from 3 years ago...I have so many questions...will there be a video saying if you have personal identification when you left????

  • @Justme77776
    @Justme77776 3 роки тому +7

    New to your channel binge watching today...out of the 12 of your mothers children how many have left?

    • @GrowingUpinPolygamy
      @GrowingUpinPolygamy  3 роки тому +9

      Welcome! We are so glad you found us! 5 of us out of the 12 have left.

  • @kb9847
    @kb9847 3 роки тому +6

    I'm really enjoying you sharing your life with us. Thank you. I am a bit unclear about "who still believes? Who have left?" So, are there any adult siblings living the Polygamy lifestyle? I guess I assumed that the half that are there are under 18 and therefore all adults have left and not living a polygamist life. Would you be able to clarify? thanks. :) I just subbed and looking forward to seeing all your videos. I'm trying to watch them in order of when you put them out.

    • @GrowingUpinPolygamy
      @GrowingUpinPolygamy  3 роки тому +7

      Thank you so much for subscribing! So there are still a lot of adult children that are living a polygamous lifestyle. Those that have left all left as adults, but only 15 of us out of 35 children have left.

    • @kb9847
      @kb9847 3 роки тому +2

      @@GrowingUpinPolygamy less than 1/2 of you left. Do you have relationships with those who have left? BTW I'm enjoying your content.

  • @deniseflygirl
    @deniseflygirl 2 роки тому +6

    Hi, Sam. Thanks for sharing your experience. I have been fascinated with FLDS & LDS since the show Big Love came out. For those adult siblings that have left, have any of them continued polygamy beliefs but just rejected Warren Jeffs as their prophet? Or have they all completely left polygamy as well? Thanks 😊

    • @anthonynettleton8346
      @anthonynettleton8346 Рік тому +1

      Hey I am lds and I know that members of the lds church left polygamy years ago.. so I assuming allot that have flds will have done the same due to when they leave they do leave everything that religion has brought them

  • @meganrussell5202
    @meganrussell5202 2 роки тому

    I just found your channel. I was curious, do you still spend time with your siblings that have left the belief?

  • @emlevy5792
    @emlevy5792 3 роки тому +4

    I hope your siblings see this video!

  • @JHayworth
    @JHayworth 2 роки тому +1

    Is there a split in the FLDS community in regard to who follows Warren Jeffs and who prefers to live and worship as they did before he was prophet? I am curious about those who still live in Hildale/Colorado City.

  • @lindascott2107
    @lindascott2107 3 роки тому +7

    I see Warren Jeff's as an awful womanizer and certainly being in jail is the best. I am so glad you are free from that false prophet

  • @cami..o
    @cami..o 3 роки тому +4

    Are there ways to help and support those who want to leave or just left? Somewhere we can donate or support?

    • @GrowingUpinPolygamy
      @GrowingUpinPolygamy  3 роки тому +5

      We are currently looking into the best non profits to help. We will reach out once we find a group we feel like is the best option. =)

  • @meeting_meghan
    @meeting_meghan 11 місяців тому

    I remember you mentioned in another video that at least 1 of your older brothers had moved out before you were even born so I'm curious, how many were already gone by that point?

  • @marymcewen3610
    @marymcewen3610 3 роки тому +13

    When you say your mother is scared to talk to you, what are the repercussions if she did?

    • @GrowingUpinPolygamy
      @GrowingUpinPolygamy  3 роки тому +16

      She could be kicked out of the church or have her children taken away from her.

    • @marymcewen3610
      @marymcewen3610 3 роки тому +4

      @@GrowingUpinPolygamy thank you for your response!

  • @carlasuannelockett1694
    @carlasuannelockett1694 3 роки тому

    💜💜from Oklahoma

  • @Nanna2five
    @Nanna2five Рік тому +3

    How do the people who still follow Jeffs explain the proof of him ra*ing those young girls in the temple with his wives watching? I mean even if they're okay with 14-year-olds getting married that's what happened is so messed up that how can anybody be okay with it. I guess I just can't wrap my head around it. I mean I knew that Jeff was in jail for life and I knew he did terrible things I had no clue that those things happen until I watched that show and there's proof on tape. I just I just can't understand anyone being okay with that.

  • @laurenmccall9388
    @laurenmccall9388 3 роки тому +2

    Is it true that people from the FLDS have not been able to married or sealed in their church since Warren Jeffs has been in prison?

    • @GrowingUpinPolygamy
      @GrowingUpinPolygamy  3 роки тому +3

      Hi Lauren! After Warren was imprisoned he, from prison, approved some marriages which were performed by other leaders of the church. I believe he approved these marriages as a way of demonstrating that his work would go on even from prison. However, this did not last long before everything came to an end. Over time things got more and more strict. Even those who were already married were no longer allowed physical contact aside from shaking of hands.

  • @custisstandish1961
    @custisstandish1961 2 роки тому +1

    Other religious groups do shun, to various degrees, like the Amish and Mennonites. The difference is though, that one does not join these groups until they are age 18 or older. If they have not joined those groups they may be pressured but not shunned, but if they have joined and left they are shunned, but even there it may not be all that severe. In the FLDS children are baptized into that faith at age 8, I believe, and one has to question do they really understand what they are doing?

  • @shelbyjarvis7513
    @shelbyjarvis7513 3 роки тому +1

    Here's my comment for the algorithm.

  • @paulastevens9413
    @paulastevens9413 2 роки тому +1

    What happened with Sam's Dad? I thought Warren Jeff's had banished him from the family?

  • @janesmith9024
    @janesmith9024 3 роки тому +6

    I may not be up to date but are those still in currently having children or was it a myth that they were ordered to stop until Jeffs was freed?In other words is anyone still in under the age of 5 and would you still see babies, toddlers, 4 year olds?

    • @GrowingUpinPolygamy
      @GrowingUpinPolygamy  3 роки тому +9

      Those that still follow Warren Jeffs are not allowed to have any children. Sadly, it's not a myth.

    • @chrisstroh4776
      @chrisstroh4776 3 роки тому +1

      Any comment on the “seed bearers” policy ?

    • @Fil0girl
      @Fil0girl 2 роки тому

      @@GrowingUpinPolygamy funny thing about that: The cult will soon go extinct, unless Jeff's dies before the woman get too old. Of course it also means your younger sisters won't get married off to old men

  • @kimkrebs451
    @kimkrebs451 3 роки тому +2

    Have you ever talked with the ladies who where on Escaping Polygamy?

    • @sumconner364
      @sumconner364 2 роки тому +2

      Check Amanda Rae’s UA-cam channel

    • @kimkrebs451
      @kimkrebs451 2 роки тому +1

      @@sumconner364 thanks!! Will do!

  • @olgakarpets9934
    @olgakarpets9934 2 роки тому +1

    Has Mellisa ever met sams parents?

  • @McCreaFamilyHomestead
    @McCreaFamilyHomestead 3 роки тому +9

    Sounds a lot like the Amish. If someone leaves the order they are shunned and not allowed to speak to their siblings or their parents. I think it’s very sad.

    • @tanjahopfl8734
      @tanjahopfl8734 3 роки тому +3

      It's the same with the Jehovas Witnesses and Scientology people. Actually it's what most cults do, cut their believers from family members who don't believe (anymore).

    • @neneg4340
      @neneg4340 3 роки тому +1

      @@tanjahopfl8734 its not like the Amish for several reasons

    • @cynthiarothrock4255
      @cynthiarothrock4255 3 роки тому +1

      Amish have them living in the same house. Just not allowed to speak to each other or eat at the same table. They eat at a separate table like a desk in the living room. And usually the shunned is over going ENGLISH.

    • @tanjahopfl8734
      @tanjahopfl8734 3 роки тому

      @@neneg4340 I didn't say anything about the Amish. I said the Jehovas Witnesses and Scientology.

    • @janetmartin9372
      @janetmartin9372 3 роки тому +4

      With Amish they are only shunned if they choose to leave after they make the decision to be baptized u to the church. If they leave prior to joining the church they are not shunned.

  • @cr293737
    @cr293737 3 роки тому +6

    Me, with many questions! Perhaps consider a vid about the relationship bw FLDS and LDS? I know the former is an embarrassment to the latter. With Sam talking about his chats with his dad... it got me wondering if his dad would ever leave if the LDS could offer Father a platform to renounce polygamy and have some stature. Put another way, are there any organized efforts on the part of the LDS to constructively deprogram the FLDS - including the FLDS leadership? Or are they just too far gone?

    • @GrowingUpinPolygamy
      @GrowingUpinPolygamy  3 роки тому +8

      Great video idea. Actually, when I became a member of the LDS church I had to go through EXTRA interviews and be interviewed by an apostle in order to be allowed to join. The LDS church wants to make sure that you no longer hold to the FLDS beliefs before allowing you to become a member.

  • @somethingsmatter
    @somethingsmatter 3 роки тому +9

    It must be so hard as a parent to lose contact to half your children! I wonder, since one man Is given several wives if that’s a reason why more men move out? Does the polygamy mean that there’s a lack of elligible women in comparison to men?
    Your channel is fascinating. I do have to say the fact that your 15 year old sister and other were married so young is horrifying. I think that’s complete child sex abuse . Is there any movement in flds to change that at least to the age of consent ( 18 or 21)?

    • @somethingsmatter
      @somethingsmatter 3 роки тому +3

      To clarify: I assume that since one man can have several wives that there must be a sex imbalance. I wonder if that imbalance plays a contribution to getting young men, who do not yet have a wife or who bed, to leave , in comparison to women.

    • @GrowingUpinPolygamy
      @GrowingUpinPolygamy  3 роки тому +6

      Yes, it has been extremely hard on my Mother. I think that more men leave primarily because it is easier for them to leave and know that they can support themselves. Some men do move out because they realize they will never get assigned a wife, but more often than that people leave because they want to experience more in life than the church can offer.

  • @vickyrun8796
    @vickyrun8796 3 роки тому +4

    Why do you refer to those who are still in the FLDS religion as "Out There"?

    • @GrowingUpinPolygamy
      @GrowingUpinPolygamy  3 роки тому +7

      That's a great question! I honestly don't know haha, but everyone from "out there" does. haha I even had someone comment that said they say the same thing! haha

  • @kdawson8981
    @kdawson8981 3 роки тому +5

    Sam you look similar to Cillian Murphy. Sorry totally off topic. You could be brothers.

    • @GrowingUpinPolygamy
      @GrowingUpinPolygamy  3 роки тому +3

      I can see that. =)

    • @karenmclean3143
      @karenmclean3143 Рік тому

      Thank You!!! Have been watching these videos thinking 'Sam reminds me of someone' but couldn't figure out who!

  • @daniellec6175
    @daniellec6175 3 роки тому +1

    👋👋👋

  • @colleenrodamer6494
    @colleenrodamer6494 3 роки тому +2

    Why does the flds cut off the family members that have left yes I understand that according to them u r an a apostate but this is ur child ect they raised u how u b trouble ect

    • @marthasalter405
      @marthasalter405 3 роки тому

      Common cult tactics. It keeps the folks in the group scared to leave, as they will lose all family and friends (and maybe go to hell, etc). And once someone has left, lack of contact means those remaining also don’t hear the truth of what life is like on the outside.

  • @tiadavenport5465
    @tiadavenport5465 2 роки тому

    I don't believe the "reality shows" and your very open source if what it's like to be from the FLDS world makes it seem like st some point you can choose to leave? Is that wrong? I just discovered your channel. I'm still wondering why you left FLDS but not LDS life completely if you were free to do so? Not judging just curious since I'm not religious at all.

  • @sophiastern2133
    @sophiastern2133 3 роки тому +1

    Is polygamy against the US law???

    • @vickyrun8796
      @vickyrun8796 3 роки тому

      Yes, it is illegal. They only legally marry the first wife. The other wives are spiritually married but not legally.

    • @carlasuannelockett1694
      @carlasuannelockett1694 3 роки тому

      DUH!

  • @cindywaldron621
    @cindywaldron621 2 роки тому +3

    Has your mother met your wife or seen your children?

  • @swampophelia2098
    @swampophelia2098 3 роки тому +2

    Do you miss your mum Sam ? Or are the differences in beliefs just to big a gap to bridge ?

    • @kdawson8981
      @kdawson8981 3 роки тому +3

      Good question!! I am a mom and my kids moved out and I talk to them almost everyday and I miss them terribly. As a mom that must be torture. I can’t even imagine

    • @swampophelia2098
      @swampophelia2098 3 роки тому +2

      @@kdawson8981 I’m a mum as a well to four kids who are all grown and gone now but I speak to them and see most of them regularly and I know how heart broken I would be to not have that contact

    • @kdawson8981
      @kdawson8981 3 роки тому +3

      @@swampophelia2098 ❤️. These moms have to be truly brainwashed to not be able to have access to their kids. I don’t think they even realize they are brainwashed. It’s so sad.

  • @carlasuannelockett1694
    @carlasuannelockett1694 3 роки тому +3

    Wait were u both in that religious group?

  • @bbearsmama
    @bbearsmama Місяць тому

    Do you think your parents watch this channel?

  • @pamelavargas6811
    @pamelavargas6811 7 місяців тому

    Aren't you afraid of getting your family in terrible by talking about them publicly

  • @vickyrun8796
    @vickyrun8796 3 роки тому +1

    Your mother is "scared". Big red flag.

  • @darciejones7271
    @darciejones7271 2 роки тому

    Is there any update available on Sam's family (more getting out)? Sam- when you first left, was there anyone or any program you were able to get help from? I just found a website today where people can donate toward helping those escaping Polygamy. Was this something available to you/had you heard of anything similar when you were leaving? holdingouthelp.org/get-involved/