Females deny cheating a lot more than males realize. Some give oral sex to another man and say it's not cheating but if she finds out he gets only oral sex from another woman it's cheated. Another thing cheating females deny is if she didn't enjoy the sex, she says it doesn't count. Another is if they are getting gifts for sex or oral sex it doesn't count. Or if it was too quick for her. Or if it's more than 1 person. Or I've seen females allowing other males to touch or finger them and say not cheating. But as a man, if she is even flirting with anyone else it's cheating because that's how it often starts and a disrespectful act to you
@fruitsarelife7073 I don't think it's About being evil. Quite the opposite. Woman who truly loves her husband wouldn't cheat. A man who's truly in love has,no problem to cheat. In another worlds. If woman cheats, there is nor respect and often no way to fix the relationship. That being said, I wouldn't accept my men having affair.
@@puclopuclik4108 "A man who's truly in love has,no problem to cheat." Good men don't cheat. Women want bad boys, that is why they are always cheated on.
I don’t agree with this. Many will still want to have sex with attractive and super handsome/charming men but she will be loyal to her man anyways. Obviously it’s human nature to be tempted or attracted to others.
The man in blue doesn’t have any clue. He’s naïve. He thinks that by forgiving the disrespect, and betrayal his partner will value him more, see his big heart and kindness. However it’s has the opposite effect. She’ll understand that he doesn’t value himself, lacks other options, and he’s desperate and etc. Hence, she’ll leave afterward. *Sadia is right.*
These ideas though common, are just an in general rule of how men and women respond to cheating. It's not the rule, it's not 100%. We are hardwired by two things, basic instincts/survival, and upbringing/life experiences. Depending on a woman's life experience she just might take that forgiveness as a value. It's easy to parrot these generic ideas instead of thinking for yourself, or truly understanding your partner instead of assuming your partner will react within these generic ideas.
Sadia's take on the subject is more realistic and Matthew's is more idealistic. I would like for Matthew's perspective to be true but it's highly unlikely. None of this should be surprising since Sadia bases her commentary on first-hand experiences with actual clients. The longer Matthew speaks, the more he comes off as someone speaking from LaLa land.
The lady is correct. What the men don't understand is that a woman that is in a long term commitment, WON'T cheat until she feels the relationship is already over. There's no true going back because she won't cheat unless she's already moved on in her heart and mind.
I believe men cheat for the same reason. Ultimately, whoever cheats in the marriage, is ready for it to be over. If the spouse forgives the cheating, the likely hood of the marriage surviving is extremely small. In old time, adultery was frowned on and had consequences; now, not so much.
@@VivatVeritas1There are lots of reasons why people stay in a failed marriage. The most common reason is probably due to having children and wanting to maintain a single household for them.
Sadia this was amazing. I get 100% what you’re saying. But the other guest I don’t he understands the clinical perspective that you bring to the conversation. I don’t know his credentials but he’s a bit glib.
@@sadiapsychology you are amazing and your analysis on female behaviour is spot on. Go figure your a female. Funny how that didn’t compute with Matthew…I went through a tough time myself with my ex wife. Rebuilding my life but I’ve never been happier. Keep it up
Sadia you are amazing. You truly seem to care about what you are saying and you are not strategically professionaly driven only. These are the little things that can't trully be hiden . BRAVO!
A woman knows women better than men ever do... Having Sadia speaks so bluntly and truthfully about women's psychology is an eyes opening experience. I learned a whole lot. Thank you Sadia !
Except she doesn’t speak for all women. She is from the Middle East and has a very antiquated perspective and perception about women. Some of the things she says is true, but often times her opinion is accompanied by a misogynistic slant. Maybe that’s how women are over there, but that’s not the norm here in the US.
@@artistocratempire405 I think we can agree that almost 100% of the time, both parties are at fault for things that go wrong in a relationship to varying degrees. Saying that women who cheat are an evil subset of women while men can compartmentalize their feelings and still love their wives even though they cheat is utterly misogynistic. Men and women cheat for the same reasons, but men also cheat for additional reasons that may not extend to a desired dissolution of marriage, because he may conclude that his wife is still “good for something”, which is even worse if you think about it. Both sexes cheat because they are fulfilling a desire that is not being met in the marriage. I mostly agree with the beginning, when she said that usually it’s over for the woman when she cheats. I do not, however, agree with the characterization of those women being evil while the men are just dicking around with golden hearts. There’s a lot more gray area that she is discounting for one sex but not the other.
And if you’re saying that men can truly still love their wives while cheating on them with other women, then the capacity for selfishness from a man is astoundingly greater than that of a woman. In the end, in terms of selfishness, we are more alike than most people realize, and agree that gender roles means that we bring different contributions to the relationship. It is actually the men who claim to love their wives but cheat on them who are the worst of all.
@@fruitsarelife7073 I'd say she represents women and men that come to her therapies. So those couples are ones that are in problem. Women that have cheated most certainly don't have respect for their man and they'll have it even less after he forgives her cheating.
Nobody is perfect. Relationships are hard, But I've figured out that there's always a way to fix things when there's a problem. Five years back, my wife and I were on the brink of divorce because of issues in our marriage, but we found a way to fix them. It was hard, but we made it through
I honestly want to find happiness too. I've got a partner, and even though we're not together right now, I can't imagine life without her; my love for her is strong. I really miss her, and I'm fully committed to bringing her back. We've explored different paths, like therapy, to fix things.
Releasing someone you love is always a daunting task, but in my situation, I had the support of a spiritual advisor who prevented the disintegration of my marriage. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.
@@nickymaria2023 Emotionally fragile (no resolve, grit, determination, or guts); or even a man who is physically less capable than the average man who is capable of inflicting harm.
@@Yay-hovahagree... but it has nothing to do with forgive a cheater if the cheater did it only once and she feels guilty. Imagine if they are married...
@@Smillasp That’s not how we think, these are old male theories, due to sexism that justify emotional abuse of women. Women should not accept cheating, that’s mentally destructive. We have hearts that break. I know hard to believe for sexist men.
@@fruitsarelife7073this has nothing to do with sexism or sexist men. Sadia is just speaking about male and female nature. Thats all. She is right. Believe all women right.
When they say a woman knows how to cheat, I laughed. Fellas if you are aware, you will notice a slight change of pattern on their end. Once you notice, just know another guy is in the background. Leave her and never turn back. When a woman truly loves a man she will treat him like a king and cling on to him cause she fears losing him. I been through both types of women and I just experienced how a woman would treat a man they really want. I now know what I want and I just stay single until another woman treats me that way.
the woman being a people pleaser and having an anxious attachment (constant fear of loss) style doesn't necessarily mean she is so in love and fine in the relationship and not cheating and also a woman who might have a change of pattern or become withdrawn also doesn't mean she is cheating and there is another man in the picture. as an example manipulative gold diggers will love bomb you and fear losing you while they have few others who they are treating like a king on the side, and change in a pattern could mean a thousand different thing specially in a woman, it could be hormonal, it could be psychological or emotional, it could be physical like feeling uncomfortable or insecure in her body. women are a lot more complicated than that.
I so agree. Men are cluing in to the woman's cheating red flags. The fact that women are more emotional also makes them vulnerable to being exposed. Sometimes, you can even predict that it's going to happen.
I definitely agree with this! I have been in three long-term relationships since I was 16. And I have never cheated. The reason why I have never cheated is because for me to be able to experienced any type of intimacy with a man outside of the man that I’m in a relationship with then it is because I am not in love with the man that I’m in a relationship with. If I was ever in a position where I was able to cheat, I could not continue to be with the man, I am in a relationship with. I have never cheated because don’t believe in disrespecting a person that way, but if I were able or willing to do that, there is no way I could be in love with the man. I’m in a relationship with.
Yes. I try to avoid generalizing about people, but he comes off as a classic simp. Whether it’s because he suffered the trauma of being cheated on or not, he’s compassion is a mask for his weakness. I believe he lies to himself to cope with his trauma & her perspective conflicts with the safe space that is not based on reality, but just a figment of his imagination.
definitely. ready to do the same mistake all over again instead of admitting that he was or still is weak. although he actually sounds like someone who´d go around and tell others how weak he is with pride. not a hint of masculinity.
@@btwthblood Women cheating is not as bad as men cheating, because he is the head of the household. He leads. So if he cheats, that destroys everything. She needs to find a better man.
I agree with her 100% …he goes off of what women are meant to be but she is correct women are not what they tell you they are ..he is believing what women want you to believe
Homeboy needs to stop simping. He is looking at the situation from a male point of view, not a female point of view. What she is saying is, once a woman cheats she has no respect for you. So when he is saying as a man, can you just forgive? The answer is, no! Because for her to cheat on you, she has to have lost respect for you! And that’s why it’s so important that you can’t take her back.
Lol. Hypocrites. And a mother should forgive a cheating husband? What kind of father is that? He would be worthless and lustfull. There will be no forgiveness for cheating men. Head of a household but with less responsibility and accountability on top of that 😂 A leadership that destroys society since forever. Patriarchy.
👏 We have a winner! It’s really not complicated. Trust actions and not words. Cheating is actionable abuse. WTH would anyone want to return to an abuser? Or look at it in business terms…PARTY A enters into a business arrangement with PARTY B. PARTY A violates the agreement with PARTY B. Do you think PARTY B would continue to do business with PARTY A in the future? Answer: N-O! -Michael Christopher Schettino, MD
I think children should be mentioned in this discussion. The kids who lie in bed in the dark listening to the screaming and shouting. The kids who witness the physical violence between their parents when one finds out. And have to pull them apart. The kids trapped in the back seat of the car, as their parents vent their anger on each other, and can feel something dying inside them as they cry.
Sadia is 100% right! This is something I learned by myself over the years. It also explains why it feels less bad when men cheat than it does when women cheat‼️
no it's just more normalized and mainstream, and how do you know how bad it feels when a man cheats compared to when a woman cheats? you literally can't know that unless you're bisexual and have been cheated on by both a man and a woman and you loved them exactly them same .
@@vuyonkosi209 you're just proving my point about how men cheating is normalized, but that doesn't make it any less hurtful and terrible, it'd actually more destabilizing for a family if a man cheats, while both suck and both are very bad.
Matthew Hussey sounds like a 16 yo girl. Its clear that he is not in the field of relationships enough to know how the things actually work. On the other side Sadia's approach much more simple and mature. Its clear she speaks from experience.
So you’re saying that if a woman cheats she’s terrible, but do you understand why she cheated? When relationships deteriorate, ALL of the time, the fault is shared by both partners to varying degrees. I agree with Matthew on this one. It’s a more mature and experienced perspective on the overall situation.
@@armincolan2950 He respresents women because his clients are women, so he understands us more. Sadia represents men because her clients are mostly men. That’s why most women can’t relate to her, she doesn’t correctly represent what we actually think. It’s more of a masculine mindset.
I agree with Sadia. Women respect men who set boundaries, and cheating needs to be a very firm boundary. A woman cannot respect nor trust a man who's not setting a huge boundary like cheating because she thinks "how can he protect and lead me when I've betrayed and disrespected him"? You can forgive her in the sense that you don't hold ill will on her but that doesn't mean continue the relationship nor does that mean you need to talk to her.
@@cameronmcfarrin4587 Many men already set that boundary. What makes us respect a man is when he is a man of his words. When he has standards for himself. When he does what he expects from a woman. A man who cheats while setting the boundary not to cheat is not respected. There are many of that kind as well.
he's in way over his head AND she's concealing she's been on all sides of the equation. Her experience from every angle shows in her expressions and she's looking at him like he's definitely cheated on material. It's almost embarrassing how silly he sounds. Her explanation also explains why some women get insanely possessive when finding satisfaction
Don't think it's about forgiving in a relationship, once someone cheats the relationship is more or less dead and buried because the trust has gone. Something you can't get back because every time you have an argument/row then that persons cheating will be brought up as a reason/excuse all the time to score points over one another!
I’ve been a private eye 27 years every time a woman comes to me to ask me to go look at their husband 70% of them are cheating on their husband even though they hire me to look at their husband because they want to find a dirt on their husband to justify their actions. And if you guys ask, how would I know this by me keeping an eye on the husband I get to observe the wife as well too even though that’s my intention.
Matthew has so much insight and wisdom. I think he understands the subject in a lot of depth and dimension. Sadia seems very one-tracked, black and white thinking. She misses the fact that people go through different circumstances in life and are motivated by variety of factors. Not just one size fits all
I’m a woman and I could never hate myself so much that I would be willing to overlook infidelity. I’ll forgive in my heart for my own emotional well being, bless you as I show you the door, never to return again. I can tolerate someone not living me if they respect me but a lack of respect is a major deal breaker for me. I will never understand how women (and men) could resume relationship with anyone capable of that sort of infraction (either they were committed to their lies and infidelity, didn’t create safe guards to protect the relationshi so they were in the wrong place wrong time, or they weren’t on the wrong place but lacked self control when an op presented itself- all are unacceptable. Fidelity and respect are nonnegotiable.
Being a great lover is very important. The chance of a women cheating on you is very slim if you sexually satisfy her. The chance of her cheating is almost nonexistent if you're the best lover she ever had. The real reason men are concerned with body count, is the more partners she had the less likely you're her best lover.
I AGREE WITH WHAT SADIA IS SAYING 💯 MEN CAN SEPARATE SEX FROM HAVING AN AFFAIR MEN DON'T NEED THE EMOTIONAL CONNECTION ALMOST ALL WOMEN WILL HAVE AN EMOTIONAL CONNECTION WHEN HAVING AN AFFAIR
So what is the point of what you said? Having sex without an emotional connection behind your partner's back is not cheating? Is it more excusable? Having a relationship behind your partners back is cheating. Sadia has a conflict of interests when she lightheartedly justifies that a man outsourcing sex behind their wife's back does not want to insult by telling her about his deeds. The truth is he does insult her by doing it and by hiding it . If "a man loves his wife", he does not "outsource sex". What Sadia says on the subject is biased and not very professional.
I didn't get that from her talk. I think she meant that men cheat for different reasons and can still love their wife and still want her while women cheat because they dont want their man at all. They dont respect him or find him attractive. Unfortunately I had an affair with a married woman, I regret it big time but he was the rich ugly guy and I was the broke guy she found to be attractive. Im not saying he is ugly as my opinion, thats what she actually said about him. May God have mercy on us all.
If you sleep with someone else, you have created a spiritual bond with them, you have become one. It’s a sin that will break whatever you built before.
@FJ-gf8rm Sadia spoke about that, too. Rich men think they can get every beautiful woman they want and then pit them in a pedestal. The problem is, as Sadia said, she will walk all over that man for the rest of his life.
God bless both of these adorable humans. Nothing is more compassionate than a man taking side of women and a woman taking side of men. God bless the host guy as well!
Although I can appreciate your sentiment regarding compassion because if one has no compassion there is nowhere for JAH to dwell within, but remember this: *Thou shalt not commit adultery.* The seventh Commandment, like all of JAH's commandments deals with all immorality. In a nutshell, all sexual involvement outside of marriage is a sin against God...Just sayin'.
The main part that stuck with me was when she said "acceptance not forgiveness". The so called forgiveness sounds like the right thing to do but women desire to feel seen by their man and looking past what she did doesn't do that. At that point the thing that's gonna make her happy might not be you so you should just take your L and keep your self respect.
Well sighted and stated. Men should at the very least have enough good sense to display *some* self respect and recognise that if the woman doesn't really love or respect the man -- It's pretty much over!
Quite starkly reminded of this: “It is difficult to get a man (here, literally) to understand something, when his salary depends on his not understanding it.” Lewis describes women as he wants them to be and Saadia describes them as they are. Fascinating conversation either way.
Pre- vs Post- actual cheating. Pre-cheating (or rather, while there's something left to save) , you'd expect there to be a possibility to resolve issues. Help to identify the actual issues and how to address them would be of value. Afterwards? Once "a line has been crossed" for either or both partners, it's no longer about resolvable problems.
This guy is clueless. He’s obviously naïve and doesn’t understand a woman’s nature at all. I don’t always agree with Sadia but she is dead on in this interview!
We need this lady in the men's conference, iv never head a woman telling it like it is, most of the time woman would be speaking exactly like this gentleman(protecting , defending and downplaying)about this issue only to commit the same mistake again to the same person The gentleman seems like his disagreeing with the lady only for the sake of disagreeing, if he is a professional in this field I fear for his male clients As a man who has been through such an experience before (forgiving and women after she cheated, she did it again with someone else)what I agree with is what the lady said and the day I grew a pair and accepted that I deserve better is the day I earned my respect from that person who cheated on me, five years later two children and failed relationships back to back she is calling me and asking me do I ever think about where we would be if we had tried to make it work 😂😂😂 Thank you my sister, I'm a huge fan from now on
I would never forgive a cheating man. I would lose all respect and wouldnt trust him leading my family. He would not be a man afterwards. Just a loser.
Reality could possibly never be that simple which can be expressed in words. I'm afraid that the complete human behavior might never be quantified in terms of words and sentences. Sadia uses absolute terminologies for supporting her argument which has been proven wrong in many cases. Even the scientists stopped using the absolute terms (like "it's not possible", "it can't happen" or something like that).
She's 1000% correct. You can't love someone you don't respect. It's pretty simple. People crave connection. If the connection is lasting or fleeting, doesn't matter. It will never last if there's no respect.
Sadia is right. Hussey's clients are mostly women. He is simply catering to them. When the woman is unfaithful and regrets it, it's because the emotional and physical experience was inferior. If it was superior, she would have moved on.
Sadia is correct, if a woman cheats is because she has already mentally checked out. Women give warnings throughout the relationships, we communicate throughout the relationship, we wait for that missing connection throughout the relationship. Once we have reached the moment of cheating, no matter how it started, how innocently the circumstance led towards the cheating, she already checked out and lost respect for him.
I love Matthew (and Sadia) but Sadia definitely has a point here and knows women very well. Totally agree with what she said. As bad as that may sound, I think it is true that once a woman cheats, it means she has lost respect for the man and is just staying with him for some other reason than love. That is actually how most women think and feel, although we may not like it.
As a preface, I really love this group. And I have not agreed with Sadia necessarily as much as Matthew in watching previous talks. But (from my, individual, hetero, female perspective) what Sadia is saying here is resonating pretty hard.
As a man I will not feel comfortable knowing my wife or girlfriend cheated and not be bothered. I will forgive her, BUT the relationship is over absolutely over 💯. Why I say that not because of my ego it's a spiritual thing her and that guy she cheated with had a spiritual entanglement once they had sex that will not stop.
People have to really open their eyes on this… sex creates energetic bonds and it’s so much more than a physical act. For the same reasons I would not be able to stay with that person let alone be intimate with him, if he cheated.
You can severe soul ties. For me, it’s the disrespect. I’m not overlooking that nonsense. It’s one thing when some One else betrays you, it’s another thing when you betray yourself by tolerating the unacceptable.
One year after the divorce, my ex was at my door, that is where I lost all the respect that was left for this man. Luckily I respected myself enough to stay strong and thrive without him. Always move on after cheating and never go back!!! 😊🙏❤
@@isolafitness yes, and if that wasn't bad enough... He even empregnated the woman and forced her to have an abortion! At least he knew he was fertile is what he had to say about it. Typical narcissist.😢
@@isolafitness indeed, empregnated another woman and forced her to abort the baby. He said, at least he knew he was fertile. Second time I write this reply but got removed for some reason 🤔
She is 100 correct on every point she made. He plants an idealistic picture of what people should be and she plant the picture of what people (women) are.
Love these two... Valid points on both sides, however I'm swayed towards Sadia, women want Alpha Males, and the perspective of an Alpha Male in a woman's eye, is someone who has boundaries! And those boundaries would definitely include a willingness to move on and walk away when those boundaries have been crossed. Self respect as a man will get you very far.
What the man doesn't understand is that when she went out and cheat she will hide it and still bad, but will still go out and cheat again continuously till she doesn't feel bad about it. The doesn't even know what he's saying
Matthew Hussey seems like a guy who can speak truth to women and *never* hear "I accept the truth and relevance of what you said, but I'll ignore it because I don't like *how* you said it". A skill that must be extremely valuable in his professional life. And perhaps an indicator to why he kept reframing back to recoverable situations and redeemable individuals. I didn't think he was _wrong_ at any point, just off topic. It would be interesting to see more, but IMO he should prepare better next time.
Respect is more important than friendship or any relationship for that matter.. And Matthew, why would you want to love and work on a relationship with someone who doesn't want the same with you? Give to the level your efforts are reciprocated.. Respect Reciprocity & Loyalty are important
A relationship specifically marriage, is akin to a 3 stranded rope, once that central strand unravels (central strand = respect), it's over. You can patch it up with counselling, shower it with gifts, lock yourselves up in a room for weeks! It will never mend.
@@katya4762 there's no contention on whether we crave connection, but argument is whether one should outsource that connection while in a relationship.
She is right here. This is why when a woman plans to leave, if the man chases and apologies, forgives her bad behaviour, it pushes her away further. If he doesn't give her space to miss him, she'll leave anyway. She'll see he isn't the strong man she is atttacted to who will protect her. So by chasing her, it does and will make the woman less attractive to him, lose respect for him. Matt here is talking Idealistically not realistically. Once a woman is emotionally detached, there is absolutely nothing you can do to change her mind. By doing what Matt suggests only confirms her decision to leave. So when men are fully dependent on themselves, run their own lives with a woman as an option whereby he can replace, the woman will fear losing him. A woman in fear of losing her man will by a loyal woman. A woman who isn't afraid of losing her man, will walk at any given opportunity. So if a woman says i don't need you, but i choose to be with you... Don't take her seriously or walk away asap. Also a man who is afraid to lose his woman will always act famine, express high emotion which at first may look cute to a woman but soon becomes icky. These are the facts.
What 'positive light' is there to screwing around on a significant other? Sadia is confidently speaking a *woman's truth* from a woman's perspective. Matthew otoh, speaks a lot of innuendo, conjecture and bullshit, with a lack of confidence and is stumbing around in the dark hoping for the best. It's better to hear a harsh *truth* than a pleasing lie, imho.
Zero tolerance for friendship betrayl can't imagine from someone I share the food, home and sleep. Where did dignity and self confidence go?! Why should you carry and pay and be a bigger person for someone who obviously from what they did shows how little they care for you?! When people show them who they are, believe them first time. You are worth being loved, celebrated, encouraged and above all: honored and respected ❤
As a man that's been through the situation they are discussing, I can confirm that Sadia is right on this one, once my ex wife cheated the first time, we tried and she made all the promises, but she repeatedly did it until she left as Sadia describes... How she describes women in this scenario is exactly what I experienced. I learned a lot and if in the same situation arose again, would walk away at the first sign, so if a woman opened the door in any kind of way, texting, flirting, changing routine then I would walk regardless of how I felt as I know what is coming, once a woman opens the door to another connection its almost impossible to come back from that...
I've been there. My husband neglected me both emotionally and physically during our last two years together, rarely being at home. He even told me that he did not have a mistress, and that his mistress was his work. I was stunned. I started needing affection and company. We went through a divorce which took me four years to get over.
Sadia spoke circles around this guy. He was not ready or prepared to have this conversation at such a high level. He seemed defensive and closed minded whenever he spoke.
I admire her knowledge, and her voice is like a warm blanket . But she looks like someone who sells a Hollywood love story to rich people. While my bro speaks about authentic love. Listen to your heart, people ♥️
Our situation is so complex.. Married 7 years, Open marriage for 5 of those years. We are now monogamous. We’re very close and we enjoy a very good, calm, pleasant relationship. We’re very open and honest with one another about everything. Things most people would not be comfortable openly discussing.
Matthew is speaking to his audience (women). He mostly coaches women and doesn’t want to alienate those women by agreeing with the unflattering truths being spoken. Sadia is 100% correct, a lesson I have learned the hard way multiple times before I accepted it.
The problem is that a man who gives his life to the relationship and family, finds out that the woman actually is not his woman, but shares herself with another man or men, can not ever trust her again. It is also something about the family and building it, and when the foundation breaks then there is nothing to build on.
Sometimes women cheat out of pure lust they want the forbidden fruit. The thrill of getting caught committing the sinful act gives them the adrenaline rush and adventure, the living on the edge kind of rush. The butterflies in the stomach of seeing her lover secretly. This is the thrill they want.
She is very wise and talks facts and truth .Whenever a woman opens her legs for another man, it's done leave her run away...the body count is important. When i left my ex-girlfriend, she panicked and came back to me to please me. im sorry, i took my time and looked at her and made my decision inside of me and said it's too late...and in that time i was in my low of life struggling and now hamdoulilah I'm where im wanted to be...i will never forgive my woman to cheating on me .
Yeah this guy sold us out on this one, we only heard the female`s side and when he had to say the men`s side of cheating he didn`t say anything...she knocked her out
@@simphiweraymondmajola375 A relationship is based on respect, love and attraction, the other aspects are after this ones. Sadia is more oriented male view which is respect ( rules, limits, agreement…) and he is more connection oriented ( love, feeling , freedom…) so it’s obvious that if you want a marriage, Sadia is the one to listen here. If you want a strong love( that always has limited time, maybe 5 months or 15 years who knows) then you listen to him. Since men give more in relationship, majority say fuk that shit to connection. If the respect is there then you have to do your part and listen to your girlfriend , in that case you listen him more. I personally pick Sadia, conection is something I worked about and had enough of limited time love when I want a solid family.
I try to avoid generalizing about people, but he comes off as a classic simp. Whether it’s because he suffered the trauma of being cheated on or not, he’s compassion is a mask for his weakness. I believe he lies to himself to cope with his trauma & her perspective conflicts with his safe space that is not based on reality, but just a figment of his imagination.
most people's ego (but especially women) can't deal with accepting that they did something wrong. So staying with someone they have cheated on is a constant reminder of their own failure and it is just easier to leave than to own up to themselves to their own error.
i had someone do me dirt like that, and even when I tried to make it work,,, i could now see she left not because of that, but because me being there was a constant reminder of her shortcoming ...
They both make valid points. It takes a longer time for a woman to get to the point of cheating, but once that line is crossed you can be sure that is pretty definitive (Unlike men). A woman might be kind but kindness alone won't keep her in an unfulfilling relationship. Because the way women attach in relationships, the connection is at a deeper emotional level, and if he's not there for her consistently, there is a de- attachment. So Matthew is right about her emotional needs not being met. But the respect piece is also correct - if a man who didn't meet her needs (at all levels) forgives here when she cheats, that means little for her. She's already seen what he has to offer, and what is lacking. Expecting that he'll change suddenly is a delusion. So she'll walk away.
i think your comment makes the most sense.. .the woman has cheated on you for a reason,.. you forgivng her didn't change the reason..so whats the point
From the way that man is arguing, he sounds like he’s trying to protect his “relationship business” then try to prove a point. Everything he said was not enlightening but quite generic. He needs to be better prepared
Mathew is soft. But there are women out there that like soft. I don’t think Sadia is one of them. Just look at Matt’s body language. Are they any women out there that thinks he’s soft?
Same energy. He completely derailed the conversation. All he had to do is share a male perspective instead of trying to argue out the woman's perspective.
I love Sadia's clarity and experience in shorting such out. I love listening to her, because I thoroughly enjoy the experience of learning something that I may have seen many times before, but never recognized. Yet, it's almost not worth it to have to listen to Matthew Hussey. He is immature in his view, and too emotionally connected to what he wants. Worse, his expertise has not yet led him to collate his surmise into a usable tool. Very frustrating to me, that his whole thought process is so... mushy... that I quickly lost the patience to wait for him to figure this all out. He is too filled with the need to protect his ideal woman.
I agree with Sadia. I was married for 30 years and never cheated because I loved him. If I didn’t have genuine feelings, I would have left him, and no amount of pleading or communication could have changed that. Also, I would never forgive infidelity or expect to be forgiven if I had cheated. Deep down, we all know that you can't genuinely love someone and hurt or disrespect them like that. Two people are bound when married, and once that bond of trust is broken, it's gone. Yes, you can try to work through it, but it can never be the same. If what remains is enough for both people thats their choice to stay. Honestly, I agree with Sadia again. It will most likely be a toxic relationship.
For all exclusive videos and to speak to me see patreon link in bio
Females deny cheating a lot more than males realize. Some give oral sex to another man and say it's not cheating but if she finds out he gets only oral sex from another woman it's cheated. Another thing cheating females deny is if she didn't enjoy the sex, she says it doesn't count. Another is if they are getting gifts for sex or oral sex it doesn't count. Or if it was too quick for her. Or if it's more than 1 person. Or I've seen females allowing other males to touch or finger them and say not cheating. But as a man, if she is even flirting with anyone else it's cheating because that's how it often starts and a disrespectful act to you
Oops I meant Matthew
There is no way to repair these women's heart. It's damaged unless they get a shrink to help the process and still no guarantees
The man in the blue is describing how he wants women to be, whereas Sadia is describing how women actually are.
Yess we are evil. Don’t date us.
doffmoffin - Yes, very astutely put!
@fruitsarelife7073 I don't think it's About being evil. Quite the opposite. Woman who truly loves her husband wouldn't cheat. A man who's truly in love has,no problem to cheat.
In another worlds. If woman cheats, there is nor respect and often no way to fix the relationship. That being said, I wouldn't accept my men having affair.
@doffmoffin, all women are different, as all men are different. Maybe you can talk about average behaviour, but there are exceptions.
@@puclopuclik4108 "A man who's truly in love has,no problem to cheat." Good men don't cheat. Women want bad boys, that is why they are always cheated on.
Sadia is right, when a woman truly loves a man, cheating would never cross her mind
@@christinerose4real271 there has to be more than love. There needs to be respect, passion and chemistry.
@@isolafitness=love
when she is psychi, its not predictibale
I don’t agree with this. Many will still want to have sex with attractive and super handsome/charming men but she will be loyal to her man anyways. Obviously it’s human nature to be tempted or attracted to others.
True. Vice versa
The fact that nobody talks about Social Secrets Mastery shows why so many guys struggle with confidence and attraction
The man in blue doesn’t have any clue. He’s naïve. He thinks that by forgiving the disrespect, and betrayal his partner will value him more, see his big heart and kindness. However it’s has the opposite effect. She’ll understand that he doesn’t value himself, lacks other options, and he’s desperate and etc. Hence, she’ll leave afterward. *Sadia is right.*
He's an imposter in my opinion
Yeah, he's definitely blue pilled.
These ideas though common, are just an in general rule of how men and women respond to cheating. It's not the rule, it's not 100%.
We are hardwired by two things, basic instincts/survival, and upbringing/life experiences. Depending on a woman's life experience she just might take that forgiveness as a value. It's easy to parrot these generic ideas instead of thinking for yourself, or truly understanding your partner instead of assuming your partner will react within these generic ideas.
Sadia's take on the subject is more realistic and Matthew's is more idealistic. I would like for Matthew's perspective to be true but it's highly unlikely.
None of this should be surprising since Sadia bases her commentary on first-hand experiences with actual clients.
The longer Matthew speaks, the more he comes off as someone speaking from LaLa land.
He's simping hard and doesnt represent the majority view of men.
The lady is correct.
What the men don't understand is that a woman that is in a long term commitment, WON'T cheat until she feels the relationship is already over. There's no true going back because she won't cheat unless she's already moved on in her heart and mind.
Charming. So she stays in a dead relationship, an even bigger betrayal really, until when?
I believe men cheat for the same reason. Ultimately, whoever cheats in the marriage, is ready for it to be over. If the spouse forgives the cheating, the likely hood of the marriage surviving is extremely small. In old time, adultery was frowned on and had consequences; now, not so much.
@@VivatVeritas1There are lots of reasons why people stay in a failed marriage. The most common reason is probably due to having children and wanting to maintain a single household for them.
@@VivatVeritas1 It’s not as bad when women betray the man.
@@VivatVeritas1Maybe it's not the _relationship_ that is dead. It's that she killed her changing interest and emotions.
I'd have to agree with Sadia's take on a woman who cheats first in the relationship. The best thing to do is leave that woman right away.
Thank you everyone for the support! Subscribe so you get notifications for Part II
Sadia this was amazing. I get 100% what you’re saying. But the other guest I don’t he understands the clinical perspective that you bring to the conversation. I don’t know his credentials but he’s a bit glib.
Thanks Sadia great information
@@sadiapsychology you are amazing and your analysis on female behaviour is spot on. Go figure your a female. Funny how that didn’t compute with Matthew…I went through a tough time myself with my ex wife. Rebuilding my life but I’ve never been happier. Keep it up
Sadia you are amazing. You truly seem to care about what you are saying and you are not strategically professionaly driven only. These are the little things that can't trully be hiden . BRAVO!
AMAZING SADIA!!!!
Finally a woman who hardcore-explains for MEN how WOMEN WORKS!!!! ❤❤❤❤💃💃💃💃
A woman knows women better than men ever do... Having Sadia speaks so bluntly and truthfully about women's psychology is an eyes opening experience.
I learned a whole lot. Thank you Sadia !
Except she doesn’t speak for all women. She is from the Middle East and has a very antiquated perspective and perception about women. Some of the things she says is true, but often times her opinion is accompanied by a misogynistic slant. Maybe that’s how women are over there, but that’s not the norm here in the US.
@@transphotography please give an example of her being misogynistic?
@@artistocratempire405 I think we can agree that almost 100% of the time, both parties are at fault for things that go wrong in a relationship to varying degrees. Saying that women who cheat are an evil subset of women while men can compartmentalize their feelings and still love their wives even though they cheat is utterly misogynistic. Men and women cheat for the same reasons, but men also cheat for additional reasons that may not extend to a desired dissolution of marriage, because he may conclude that his wife is still “good for something”, which is even worse if you think about it.
Both sexes cheat because they are fulfilling a desire that is not being met in the marriage. I mostly agree with the beginning, when she said that usually it’s over for the woman when she cheats. I do not, however, agree with the characterization of those women being evil while the men are just dicking around with golden hearts. There’s a lot more gray area that she is discounting for one sex but not the other.
And if you’re saying that men can truly still love their wives while cheating on them with other women, then the capacity for selfishness from a man is astoundingly greater than that of a woman. In the end, in terms of selfishness, we are more alike than most people realize, and agree that gender roles means that we bring different contributions to the relationship. It is actually the men who claim to love their wives but cheat on them who are the worst of all.
@@transphotographyI think she only knows one side of women. And she says sometimes what men want to listen.
The way Sadia puts everything on the table is exceptional. I hope all women follow her advice.
@@sumitmastud4804 She doesn’t even represent our mindset at all.
That’s opposite to how the average woman thinks.
@@fruitsarelife7073 I'd say she represents women and men that come to her therapies. So those couples are ones that are in problem. Women that have cheated most certainly don't have respect for their man and they'll have it even less after he forgives her cheating.
@@fruitsarelife7073 I'm afraid it ain't. "Opposite", that is.
Nobody is perfect. Relationships are hard, But I've figured out that there's always a way to fix things when there's a problem. Five years back, my wife and I were on the brink of divorce because of issues in our marriage, but we found a way to fix them. It was hard, but we made it through
I honestly want to find happiness too. I've got a partner, and even though we're not together right now, I can't imagine life without her; my love for her is strong. I really miss her, and I'm fully committed to bringing her back. We've explored different paths, like therapy, to fix things.
Releasing someone you love is always a daunting task, but in my situation, I had the support of a spiritual advisor who prevented the disintegration of my marriage. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.
I'll quickly search for her online. Thank you. I'm optimistic that taking this approach will yield results for me as well; her absence is keenly felt.
You should..She is amazing
Everything is fixable if both parties WANT to.
Women don't want weak men, that's all
No mammal does. Lol
Define weak.
@@nickymaria2023 Emotionally fragile (no resolve, grit, determination, or guts); or even a man who is physically less capable than the average man who is capable of inflicting harm.
@@Yay-hovahagree... but it has nothing to do with forgive a cheater if the cheater did it only once and she feels guilty. Imagine if they are married...
@@nickymaria2023 It does actually because only a weak man (no boundaries and no options) would take a woman back who cheats.
This woman is SO RIGHT!!!!
Thank you Sadia for explaining how WOMEN works!!!
It's about TIME that men realizes this!!!!!
@@Smillasp That’s not how we think, these are old male theories, due to sexism that justify emotional abuse of women. Women should not accept cheating, that’s mentally destructive.
We have hearts that break.
I know hard to believe for sexist men.
@@fruitsarelife7073this has nothing to do with sexism or sexist men. Sadia is just speaking about male and female nature. Thats all. She is right. Believe all women right.
When they say a woman knows how to cheat, I laughed. Fellas if you are aware, you will notice a slight change of pattern on their end. Once you notice, just know another guy is in the background. Leave her and never turn back. When a woman truly loves a man she will treat him like a king and cling on to him cause she fears losing him. I been through both types of women and I just experienced how a woman would treat a man they really want. I now know what I want and I just stay single until another woman treats me that way.
the woman being a people pleaser and having an anxious attachment (constant fear of loss) style doesn't necessarily mean she is so in love and fine in the relationship and not cheating and also a woman who might have a change of pattern or become withdrawn also doesn't mean she is cheating and there is another man in the picture. as an example manipulative gold diggers will love bomb you and fear losing you while they have few others who they are treating like a king on the side, and change in a pattern could mean a thousand different thing specially in a woman, it could be hormonal, it could be psychological or emotional, it could be physical like feeling uncomfortable or insecure in her body. women are a lot more complicated than that.
I so agree. Men are cluing in to the woman's cheating red flags. The fact that women are more emotional also makes them vulnerable to being exposed. Sometimes, you can even predict that it's going to happen.
@@Nikki..... And that's why I say be FLEXIBLE to know what it is 😅😅.
Because life can give you both sweetness and pain😅😅
I definitely agree with this! I have been in three long-term relationships since I was 16. And I have never cheated. The reason why I have never cheated is because for me to be able to experienced any type of intimacy with a man outside of the man that I’m in a relationship with then it is because I am not in love with the man that I’m in a relationship with. If I was ever in a position where I was able to cheat, I could not continue to be with the man, I am in a relationship with. I have never cheated because don’t believe in disrespecting a person that way, but if I were able or willing to do that, there is no way I could be in love with the man. I’m in a relationship with.
Anyone else think Matthew forgave someone for cheating on him & this is a triggering convo for him?
Yes. I try to avoid generalizing about people, but he comes off as a classic simp. Whether it’s because he suffered the trauma of being cheated on or not, he’s compassion is a mask for his weakness. I believe he lies to himself to cope with his trauma & her perspective conflicts with the safe space that is not based on reality, but just a figment of his imagination.
I was about to make a similar comment. I couldn't have put it better.
I feel for him, though.
Thats exactly what I thought
definitely. ready to do the same mistake all over again instead of admitting that he was or still is weak. although he actually sounds like someone who´d go around and tell others how weak he is with pride. not a hint of masculinity.
Bingo ! My same thought as I watched
I agree with her. Matthew was very disturbed by her truth bombs. Love to see all three of you together talking like this!
Maybe he is still with a woman who cheated on him..
@@btwthblood Women cheating is not as bad as men cheating, because he is the head of the household. He leads.
So if he cheats, that destroys everything. She needs to find a better man.
@@fruitsarelife7073 obviously you didn't spend time listening to the entire video
He looks so Angry as she spoke on😂
I agree with her 100% …he goes off of what women are meant to be but she is correct women are not what they tell you they are ..he is believing what women want you to believe
Homeboy needs to stop simping. He is looking at the situation from a male point of view, not a female point of view. What she is saying is, once a woman cheats she has no respect for you. So when he is saying as a man, can you just forgive? The answer is, no! Because for her to cheat on you, she has to have lost respect for you! And that’s why it’s so important that you can’t take her back.
Lol. Hypocrites. And a mother should forgive a cheating husband? What kind of father is that?
He would be worthless and lustfull. There will be no forgiveness for cheating men.
Head of a household but with less responsibility and accountability on top of that 😂
A leadership that destroys society since forever.
Patriarchy.
👏 We have a winner! It’s really not complicated. Trust actions and not words. Cheating is actionable abuse. WTH would anyone want to return to an abuser?
Or look at it in business terms…PARTY A enters into a business arrangement with PARTY B. PARTY A violates the agreement with PARTY B. Do you think PARTY B would continue to do business with PARTY A in the future? Answer: N-O!
-Michael Christopher Schettino, MD
Well said
Can you lose something you never had? 🤔
I think children should be mentioned in this discussion.
The kids who lie in bed in the dark listening to the screaming and shouting. The kids who witness the physical violence between their parents when one finds out. And have to pull them apart.
The kids trapped in the back seat of the car, as their parents vent their anger on each other, and can feel something dying inside them as they cry.
💯💯💯💯
Sadia is 100% right! This is something I learned by myself over the years. It also explains why it feels less bad when men cheat than it does when women cheat‼️
When a man we love cheats it feels terrible...
no it's just more normalized and mainstream, and how do you know how bad it feels when a man cheats compared to when a woman cheats? you literally can't know that unless you're bisexual and have been cheated on by both a man and a woman and you loved them exactly them same .
@@Nikki..... I would rather have my dad cheating rather than my mom
@@vuyonkosi209 you're just proving my point about how men cheating is normalized, but that doesn't make it any less hurtful and terrible, it'd actually more destabilizing for a family if a man cheats, while both suck and both are very bad.
@@Nikki..... If my dad cheats, I know they haven't really fallen out of love. Whereas if my mom cheats, I know the love is done. DO YOU GET THAT?
Matthew Hussey sounds like a 16 yo girl. Its clear that he is not in the field of relationships enough to know how the things actually work.
On the other side Sadia's approach much more simple and mature. Its clear she speaks from experience.
Matthew seems to be more feminine in my opinion anyway. When I listen to him and how he comes across, there is lack of this strong masculine presence.
Matthew should shift to a different line of work.
Matthew has been catering to women throughout his career...it shows... ;)
So you’re saying that if a woman cheats she’s terrible, but do you understand why she cheated? When relationships deteriorate, ALL of the time, the fault is shared by both partners to varying degrees. I agree with Matthew on this one. It’s a more mature and experienced perspective on the overall situation.
@@armincolan2950 He respresents women because his clients are women, so he understands us more.
Sadia represents men because her clients are mostly men.
That’s why most women can’t relate to her, she doesn’t correctly represent what we actually think. It’s more of a masculine mindset.
I totally agree with Sadia. "While man talks about his fake adventures, women has adventures she never talks about"
What I learned is that never forgive a woman that cheat. Secondly, a women is loyal to the guy that gives her sexual satisfaction. Beautiful stuff
You’re spot on!
Imagine this is true..oh I couldn't have put it better..I'm a 36yr old mother of two and this is 💯
Thanks for the great honesty. It helps us a lot@@Shiner8888
@@sheeba8334thanks for the honesty, it's great we hear the truth.
I agree with Sadia. Women respect men who set boundaries, and cheating needs to be a very firm boundary. A woman cannot respect nor trust a man who's not setting a huge boundary like cheating because she thinks "how can he protect and lead me when I've betrayed and disrespected him"?
You can forgive her in the sense that you don't hold ill will on her but that doesn't mean continue the relationship nor does that mean you need to talk to her.
Same thing for a woman. A woman should always end a relationship if a man cheats. That’s a broken relationship right there.
Facts!!
@@cameronmcfarrin4587 Many men already set that boundary. What makes us respect a man is when he is a man of his words. When he has standards for himself. When he does what he expects from a woman.
A man who cheats while setting the boundary not to cheat is not respected.
There are many of that kind as well.
Well I think the same, "how can he protect and lead me while he cheats and distespects me? With a cheater a woman feels unprotected.
he's in way over his head AND she's concealing she's been on all sides of the equation. Her experience from every angle shows in her expressions and she's looking at him like he's definitely cheated on material. It's almost embarrassing how silly he sounds. Her explanation also explains why some women get insanely possessive when finding satisfaction
As soon as a woman feels satisfaction from a man, she will protect that man from any other woman having him.
@@adebowalegbenga4316 "protect" ?
Someone plz give @Sadia a medal. I love her honesty
Don't think it's about forgiving in a relationship, once someone cheats the relationship is more or less dead and buried because the trust has gone. Something you can't get back because every time you have an argument/row then that persons cheating will be brought up as a reason/excuse all the time to score points over one another!
I’ve been a private eye 27 years every time a woman comes to me to ask me to go look at their husband 70% of them are cheating on their husband even though they hire me to look at their husband because they want to find a dirt on their husband to justify their actions. And if you guys ask, how would I know this by me keeping an eye on the husband I get to observe the wife as well too even though that’s my intention.
Very sad testimony. More evidence that mankind is not meant to be monogamous.
Matthew has so much insight and wisdom. I think he understands the subject in a lot of depth and dimension. Sadia seems very one-tracked, black and white thinking. She misses the fact that people go through different circumstances in life and are motivated by variety of factors. Not just one size fits all
still why to cheat ? leave if you need to cheat or something is missing , some boundaries are all size fits all or stay single and mingle
I’m a woman and I could never hate myself so much that I would be willing to overlook infidelity. I’ll forgive in my heart for my own emotional well being, bless you as I show you the door, never to return again. I can tolerate someone not living me if they respect me but a lack of respect is a major deal breaker for me. I will never understand how women (and men) could resume relationship with anyone capable of that sort of infraction (either they were committed to their lies and infidelity, didn’t create safe guards to protect the relationshi so they were in the wrong place wrong time, or they weren’t on the wrong place but lacked self control when an op presented itself- all are unacceptable. Fidelity and respect are nonnegotiable.
Being a great lover is very important. The chance of a women cheating on you is very slim if you sexually satisfy her. The chance of her cheating is almost nonexistent if you're the best lover she ever had. The real reason men are concerned with body count, is the more partners she had the less likely you're her best lover.
💯
Sadia really understands human nature and the biological differences between men and women...THANK YOU Sadia!!!
I think if both people want the relationship- that it can be saved. If 1 has checked out/unwilling to work it out -its over.
I AGREE WITH WHAT SADIA IS SAYING 💯
MEN CAN SEPARATE SEX FROM HAVING AN AFFAIR
MEN DON'T NEED THE EMOTIONAL CONNECTION
ALMOST ALL WOMEN WILL HAVE AN EMOTIONAL CONNECTION WHEN HAVING AN AFFAIR
So what is the point of what you said? Having sex without an emotional connection behind your partner's back is not cheating? Is it more excusable? Having a relationship behind your partners back is cheating. Sadia has a conflict of interests when she lightheartedly justifies that a man outsourcing sex behind their wife's back does not want to insult by telling her about his deeds. The truth is he does insult her by doing it and by hiding it . If "a man loves his wife", he does not "outsource sex". What Sadia says on the subject is biased and not very professional.
So sex fir money mean they not cheating as not emotional connection then
I didn't get that from her talk. I think she meant that men cheat for different reasons and can still love their wife and still want her while women cheat because they dont want their man at all. They dont respect him or find him attractive. Unfortunately I had an affair with a married woman, I regret it big time but he was the rich ugly guy and I was the broke guy she found to be attractive. Im not saying he is ugly as my opinion, thats what she actually said about him. May God have mercy on us all.
If you sleep with someone else, you have created a spiritual bond with them, you have become one.
It’s a sin that will break whatever you built before.
@FJ-gf8rm Sadia spoke about that, too. Rich men think they can get every beautiful woman they want and then pit them in a pedestal. The problem is, as Sadia said, she will walk all over that man for the rest of his life.
Cheaters are weak and dishonest. They put some people off relationships completely.
God bless both of these adorable humans. Nothing is more compassionate than a man taking side of women and a woman taking side of men. God bless the host guy as well!
Although I can appreciate your sentiment regarding compassion because if one has no compassion there is nowhere for JAH to dwell within, but remember this: *Thou shalt not commit adultery.* The seventh Commandment, like all of JAH's commandments deals with all immorality. In a nutshell, all sexual involvement outside of marriage is a sin against God...Just sayin'.
The main part that stuck with me was when she said "acceptance not forgiveness". The so called forgiveness sounds like the right thing to do but women desire to feel seen by their man and looking past what she did doesn't do that. At that point the thing that's gonna make her happy might not be you so you should just take your L and keep your self respect.
🎯
Well sighted and stated. Men should at the very least have enough good sense to display *some* self respect and recognise that if the woman doesn't really love or respect the man -- It's pretty much over!
@@MrIFARI😊
Sadia sounds so mature and erudite. I like her conversation style, she would appear on netflix one day.
Quite starkly reminded of this: “It is difficult to get a man (here, literally) to understand something, when his salary depends on his not understanding it.”
Lewis describes women as he wants them to be and Saadia describes them as they are. Fascinating conversation either way.
I think you guys are both talking about two totally different sets of women and both points are valid
Pre- vs Post- actual cheating.
Pre-cheating (or rather, while there's something left to save) , you'd expect there to be a possibility to resolve issues. Help to identify the actual issues and how to address them would be of value.
Afterwards? Once "a line has been crossed" for either or both partners, it's no longer about resolvable problems.
Yes. They are speaking about very specific scenarios and types of men and women.
This guy is clueless. He’s obviously naïve and doesn’t understand a woman’s nature at all. I don’t always agree with Sadia but she is dead on in this interview!
We need this lady in the men's conference, iv never head a woman telling it like it is, most of the time woman would be speaking exactly like this gentleman(protecting , defending and downplaying)about this issue only to commit the same mistake again to the same person
The gentleman seems like his disagreeing with the lady only for the sake of disagreeing, if he is a professional in this field I fear for his male clients
As a man who has been through such an experience before (forgiving and women after she cheated, she did it again with someone else)what I agree with is what the lady said and the day I grew a pair and accepted that I deserve better is the day I earned my respect from that person who cheated on me, five years later two children and failed relationships back to back she is calling me and asking me do I ever think about where we would be if we had tried to make it work 😂😂😂
Thank you my sister, I'm a huge fan from now on
Much respect for her honesty. It's hard to speak truth in this woke society.
I would never forgive a cheating man.
I would lose all respect and wouldnt trust him leading my family. He would not be a man afterwards. Just a loser.
EXACTLY!!!
If you're getting cheated on, your opinion doesn't matter to him.
that guy is a simp and is struggling with this topic
Absolutely right. You've just saved me writing that comment.
My heart wants to believe in what the guy in blue is saying. But My brain cannot help but agree with Sadia.
Sadia is absolutely brilliant. The stuff she says, is in evidence out there in the world, if you turn on your detective, IT’S BLARING.
He’s not saying very much, while Sadie is a fountain of knowledge
Reality could possibly never be that simple which can be expressed in words. I'm afraid that the complete human behavior might never be quantified in terms of words and sentences. Sadia uses absolute terminologies for supporting her argument which has been proven wrong in many cases. Even the scientists stopped using the absolute terms (like "it's not possible", "it can't happen" or something like that).
She's 1000% correct. You can't love someone you don't respect. It's pretty simple. People crave connection. If the connection is lasting or fleeting, doesn't matter. It will never last if there's no respect.
Sadia is right. Hussey's clients are mostly women. He is simply catering to them.
When the woman is unfaithful and regrets it, it's because the emotional and physical experience was inferior. If it was superior, she would have moved on.
Part II Now Available
ua-cam.com/video/Yinptq_A7eY/v-deo.html
Sadia is correct, if a woman cheats is because she has already mentally checked out. Women give warnings throughout the relationships, we communicate throughout the relationship, we wait for that missing connection throughout the relationship. Once we have reached the moment of cheating, no matter how it started, how innocently the circumstance led towards the cheating, she already checked out and lost respect for him.
I love Matthew (and Sadia) but Sadia definitely has a point here and knows women very well. Totally agree with what she said. As bad as that may sound, I think it is true that once a woman cheats, it means she has lost respect for the man and is just staying with him for some other reason than love. That is actually how most women think and feel, although we may not like it.
As a preface, I really love this group. And I have not agreed with Sadia necessarily as much as Matthew in watching previous talks. But (from my, individual, hetero, female perspective) what Sadia is saying here is resonating pretty hard.
As a man I will not feel comfortable knowing my wife or girlfriend cheated and not be bothered. I will forgive her, BUT the relationship is over absolutely over 💯. Why I say that not because of my ego it's a spiritual thing her and that guy she cheated with had a spiritual entanglement once they had sex that will not stop.
People have to really open their eyes on this… sex creates energetic bonds and it’s so much more than a physical act.
For the same reasons I would not be able to stay with that person let alone be intimate with him, if he cheated.
Not sure about spiritual thing however, soul tie for sure.
You can severe soul ties. For me, it’s the disrespect. I’m not overlooking that nonsense. It’s one thing when some
One else betrays you, it’s another thing when you betray yourself by tolerating the unacceptable.
One year after the divorce, my ex was at my door, that is where I lost all the respect that was left for this man. Luckily I respected myself enough to stay strong and thrive without him. Always move on after cheating and never go back!!! 😊🙏❤
I take it that he was the one that cheated right?
@@isolafitness yes, and if that wasn't bad enough... He even empregnated the woman and forced her to have an abortion! At least he knew he was fertile is what he had to say about it. Typical narcissist.😢
@@karinesavard2016 He has no self respect, if you cheated and he still begs for relationship. He is pathetic.
@@isolafitness indeed, empregnated another woman and forced her to abort the baby. He said, at least he knew he was fertile. Second time I write this reply but got removed for some reason 🤔
@@TheSouthAfricanPost a cheater and a narcissist, I should have left much earlier. Plenty of red flags along the way. 🚩🚩🚩🚩
Men are direct thinkers, women are indirect thinkers. It affects the way men and women perceive reality. She speaks words of wisdom. Men listen up.
Look, I must be a man. But I’m not forgiving cheating , we will be fighting, I would never trust you, like it just would never work.
Same.
Same! Woman with SELF respect!!!
She is 100 correct on every point she made. He plants an idealistic picture of what people should be and she plant the picture of what people (women) are.
He didn’t even want to answer the first question. Just started disagreeing with get off the bat lol 😂
Love these two... Valid points on both sides, however I'm swayed towards Sadia, women want Alpha Males, and the perspective of an Alpha Male in a woman's eye, is someone who has boundaries! And those boundaries would definitely include a willingness to move on and walk away when those boundaries have been crossed. Self respect as a man will get you very far.
What the man doesn't understand is that when she went out and cheat she will hide it and still bad, but will still go out and cheat again continuously till she doesn't feel bad about it.
The doesn't even know what he's saying
💯💯💯💯
Matthew Hussey seems like a guy who can speak truth to women and *never* hear "I accept the truth and relevance of what you said, but I'll ignore it because I don't like *how* you said it". A skill that must be extremely valuable in his professional life.
And perhaps an indicator to why he kept reframing back to recoverable situations and redeemable individuals.
I didn't think he was _wrong_ at any point, just off topic. It would be interesting to see more, but IMO he should prepare better next time.
Respect is more important than friendship or any relationship for that matter..
And Matthew, why would you want to love and work on a relationship with someone who doesn't want the same with you?
Give to the level your efforts are reciprocated..
Respect Reciprocity & Loyalty are important
A relationship specifically marriage, is akin to a 3 stranded rope, once that central strand unravels (central strand = respect), it's over. You can patch it up with counselling, shower it with gifts, lock yourselves up in a room for weeks! It will never mend.
Hahaha, Matthew can't wrap his man-mind around that what Sadia is saying is TRUE!!!! 😅
I agree with Matthew. We crave connection as human beings, both men and women. Period
@@katya4762 there's no contention on whether we crave connection, but argument is whether one should outsource that connection while in a relationship.
She is right here.
This is why when a woman plans to leave, if the man chases and apologies, forgives her bad behaviour, it pushes her away further. If he doesn't give her space to miss him, she'll leave anyway. She'll see he isn't the strong man she is atttacted to who will protect her. So by chasing her, it does and will make the woman less attractive to him, lose respect for him. Matt here is talking Idealistically not realistically. Once a woman is emotionally detached, there is absolutely nothing you can do to change her mind. By doing what Matt suggests only confirms her decision to leave.
So when men are fully dependent on themselves, run their own lives with a woman as an option whereby he can replace, the woman will fear losing him. A woman in fear of losing her man will by a loyal woman. A woman who isn't afraid of losing her man, will walk at any given opportunity. So if a woman says i don't need you, but i choose to be with you... Don't take her seriously or walk away asap.
Also a man who is afraid to lose his woman will always act famine, express high emotion which at first may look cute to a woman but soon becomes icky.
These are the facts.
it doesn't give her space to miss him... thats it
Sadia runs circles around this guy!
Thank you Mathew for representing Woman in positive Light. I feel Sadja is Always against women.
She is not against rather stating the fact . Thus what people hate 😊
nope - she just tells the truth.
What 'positive light' is there to screwing around on a significant other?
Sadia is confidently speaking a *woman's truth* from a woman's perspective. Matthew otoh, speaks a lot of innuendo, conjecture and bullshit, with a lack of confidence and is stumbing around in the dark hoping for the best.
It's better to hear a harsh *truth* than a pleasing lie, imho.
Finally, an intelligent response to this video.
@@Gustitellsthese are generalizations, they’re both talking about different human being archetypes, no matter the sex or gender
Zero tolerance for friendship betrayl can't imagine from someone I share the food, home and sleep. Where did dignity and self confidence go?! Why should you carry and pay and be a bigger person for someone who obviously from what they did shows how little they care for you?! When people show them who they are, believe them first time. You are worth being loved, celebrated, encouraged and above all: honored and respected ❤
light blue shirt has been cheated on multiple times and forgave and is hoping his cheating gf stops since he's a good guy.
As a man that's been through the situation they are discussing, I can confirm that Sadia is right on this one, once my ex wife cheated the first time, we tried and she made all the promises, but she repeatedly did it until she left as Sadia describes... How she describes women in this scenario is exactly what I experienced.
I learned a lot and if in the same situation arose again, would walk away at the first sign, so if a woman opened the door in any kind of way, texting, flirting, changing routine then I would walk regardless of how I felt as I know what is coming, once a woman opens the door to another connection its almost impossible to come back from that...
Sadia you are spot on about most things. Awesome having a woman talking the truths regardless of gender. Your awesome....
I've been there. My husband neglected me both emotionally and physically during our last two years together, rarely being at home. He even told me that he did not have a mistress, and that his mistress was his work. I was stunned. I started needing affection and company. We went through a divorce which took me four years to get over.
but did you cheat all that while?
Has anyone ever asked Sadia if she could forgive a cheating man? I highly doubt it based on her vibe.
She wouldn't need to forgive. A pretty face opens all doors.
Sadia spoke circles around this guy. He was not ready or prepared to have this conversation at such a high level. He seemed defensive and closed minded whenever he spoke.
I love Sadia. Her insight and explanation is on point.
I admire her knowledge, and her voice is like a warm blanket . But she looks like someone who sells a Hollywood love story to rich people. While my bro speaks about authentic love.
Listen to your heart, people ♥️
yea that's the difference
I love Sadia & she is 1k% right on point.I have experienced this myself & know from experience that this is true about Men & Women.
Our situation is so complex..
Married 7 years, Open marriage for 5 of those years.
We are now monogamous. We’re very close and we enjoy a very good, calm, pleasant relationship.
We’re very open and honest with one another about everything.
Things most people would not be comfortable openly discussing.
Matthew is speaking to his audience (women). He mostly coaches women and doesn’t want to alienate those women by agreeing with the unflattering truths being spoken. Sadia is 100% correct, a lesson I have learned the hard way multiple times before I accepted it.
The problem is that a man who gives his life to the relationship and family, finds out that the woman actually is not his woman, but shares herself with another man or men, can not ever trust her again. It is also something about the family and building it, and when the foundation breaks then there is nothing to build on.
Sometimes women cheat out of pure lust they want the forbidden fruit. The thrill of getting caught committing the sinful act gives them the adrenaline rush and adventure, the living on the edge kind of rush. The butterflies in the stomach of seeing her lover secretly. This is the thrill they want.
interesting
She is very wise and talks facts and truth .Whenever a woman opens her legs for another man, it's done leave her run away...the body count is important.
When i left my ex-girlfriend, she panicked and came back to me to please me. im sorry, i took my time and looked at her and made my decision inside of me and said it's too late...and in that time i was in my low of life struggling and now hamdoulilah I'm where im wanted to be...i will never forgive my woman to cheating on me .
I never would have believed Sadia is more intelligent than him. Holly crap 😱
Why not! She’s actually more intelligent than any of the hosts and guests on all of the podcasts she’s been on.
Yeah this guy sold us out on this one, we only heard the female`s side and when he had to say the men`s side of cheating he didn`t say anything...she knocked her out
@@simphiweraymondmajola375 A relationship is based on respect, love and attraction, the other aspects are after this ones. Sadia is more oriented male view which is respect ( rules, limits, agreement…) and he is more connection oriented ( love, feeling , freedom…) so it’s obvious that if you want a marriage, Sadia is the one to listen here. If you want a strong love( that always has limited time, maybe 5 months or 15 years who knows) then you listen to him. Since men give more in relationship, majority say fuk that shit to connection. If the respect is there then you have to do your part and listen to your girlfriend , in that case you listen him more. I personally pick Sadia, conection is something I worked about and had enough of limited time love when I want a solid family.
She's brilliant and he's average. She's a licensed psychologist. It wasn't gonna go well.
As a woman I agree with everything what Sadia said. From own experience I exactly behaved like she said.
guy in blue..."you're saying...women are more cruel than men"
buddy- you hit the ball out of the park
awesome content from a woman who hails from a family that read the right book instead of the wrong one.
I try to avoid generalizing about people, but he comes off as a classic simp. Whether it’s because he suffered the trauma of being cheated on or not, he’s compassion is a mask for his weakness. I believe he lies to himself to cope with his trauma & her perspective conflicts with his safe space that is not based on reality, but just a figment of his imagination.
most people's ego (but especially women) can't deal with accepting that they did something wrong. So staying with someone they have cheated on is a constant reminder of their own failure and it is just easier to leave than to own up to themselves to their own error.
You are absolutely correct. "People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own Soul"
i had someone do me dirt like that, and even when I tried to make it work,,, i could now see she left not because of that, but because me being there was a constant reminder of her shortcoming ...
Sadia is right.
They both make valid points. It takes a longer time for a woman to get to the point of cheating, but once that line is crossed you can be sure that is pretty definitive (Unlike men). A woman might be kind but kindness alone won't keep her in an unfulfilling relationship. Because the way women attach in relationships, the connection is at a deeper emotional level, and if he's not there for her consistently, there is a de- attachment. So Matthew is right about her emotional needs not being met. But the respect piece is also correct - if a man who didn't meet her needs (at all levels) forgives here when she cheats, that means little for her. She's already seen what he has to offer, and what is lacking. Expecting that he'll change suddenly is a delusion. So she'll walk away.
i think your comment makes the most sense.. .the woman has cheated on you for a reason,.. you forgivng her didn't change the reason..so whats the point
From the way that man is arguing, he sounds like he’s trying to protect his “relationship business” then try to prove a point. Everything he said was not enlightening but quite generic. He needs to be better prepared
Mathew is soft. But there are women out there that like soft. I don’t think Sadia is one of them. Just look at Matt’s body language. Are they any women out there that thinks he’s soft?
He suffers from low T.
This guy gave no clue of what he's saying.
Why is he here?
Same energy. He completely derailed the conversation. All he had to do is share a male perspective instead of trying to argue out the woman's perspective.
I love Sadia's clarity and experience in shorting such out. I love listening to her, because I thoroughly enjoy the experience of learning something that I may have seen many times before, but never recognized. Yet, it's almost not worth it to have to listen to Matthew Hussey. He is immature in his view, and too emotionally connected to what he wants. Worse, his expertise has not yet led him to collate his surmise into a usable tool. Very frustrating to me, that his whole thought process is so... mushy... that I quickly lost the patience to wait for him to figure this all out. He is too filled with the need to protect his ideal woman.
This is a good conversation
I agree with Sadia. I was married for 30 years and never cheated because I loved him. If I didn’t have genuine feelings, I would have left him, and no amount of pleading or communication could have changed that. Also, I would never forgive infidelity or expect to be forgiven if I had cheated. Deep down, we all know that you can't genuinely love someone and hurt or disrespect them like that. Two people are bound when married, and once that bond of trust is broken, it's gone. Yes, you can try to work through it, but it can never be the same. If what remains is enough for both people thats their choice to stay. Honestly, I agree with Sadia again. It will most likely be a toxic relationship.