What Story "Perfectly Sums Up The Stupidity", Of The Stupidest Person You've Ever Met? (r/AskReddit)

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  • Опубліковано 14 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 3,1 тис.

  • @almachizit3207
    @almachizit3207 5 років тому +2584

    That first guy I think was actually a secret genius. He definitely had the cop confused

    • @__________________________6139
      @__________________________6139 4 роки тому +8

      Coolscee Gaming lmao

    • @disklexicstonksman8349
      @disklexicstonksman8349 4 роки тому +103

      He definitely got them arrested

    • @bassforhire555
      @bassforhire555 4 роки тому +81

      Tricked the cop into thinking he was so drunk, he passed out in the time to took him to pull over. Ol' Musky is a full in smooth brain by comparison

    • @trenchcoatguy5709
      @trenchcoatguy5709 4 роки тому +1

      Well, this post asks what summarizes it. So probably not. Sorry for killing the joke.

    • @yourlocalbob6020
      @yourlocalbob6020 4 роки тому +2

      Yesss I was ur 1k like!!

  • @AskReddittells
    @AskReddittells 5 років тому +3945

    Girl “Why would you drink cow milk? That’s animal cruelty! You should just get it from the supermarket!”

    • @bigben987
      @bigben987 5 років тому +258

      Speechless 100

    • @disrespectthemwomensubjuga5471
      @disrespectthemwomensubjuga5471 5 років тому +192

      Because I like to succ on cow titties

    • @lanoche
      @lanoche 5 років тому +28

      Oof lol

    • @ScarabD
      @ScarabD 5 років тому +129

      When I was like, 4 years old apparently I had an exchange with my preschool teacher involving me insisting milk came from "my mam's fridge".
      ...In my defence I was four. And was also technically correct. I don't know what this lady's excuse is.

    • @masonreppeto882
      @masonreppeto882 5 років тому +81

      You shouldn't go hunting it's cruel!! just go to your local super market and grab some beef that doesn't come from cows. loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool

  • @lukemcclutchey1352
    @lukemcclutchey1352 5 років тому +2595

    I cringed into the fifth dimension when she said "I bet my family owned yours!"

  • @marksilla8276
    @marksilla8276 5 років тому +5433

    Not gonna lie the story about the guy who pretended to be asleep with the Officer was funny af

    • @akevadurrett9075
      @akevadurrett9075 5 років тому +101

      Honestly😭😭!!

    • @mimicatmoon
      @mimicatmoon 5 років тому +403

      *walks up to car*
      Officer: they’re both just laying there with their eyes closed? Are they meant to be sleeping? I mean I get the passenger but the driver was just driving-

    • @rplayer360
      @rplayer360 4 роки тому +8

      😂😂

    • @alanrose5959
      @alanrose5959 4 роки тому +15

      I know this kind of person

    • @_j_t_p_
      @_j_t_p_ 4 роки тому +79

      It's funny because someone with a stupid fucking idea is calling someone stupid. What help would that be to pretend to be asleep? So they can wake you up to ID you anyway? They dont let you drive around with potentially unconscious victims

  • @lv1543
    @lv1543 5 років тому +4877

    "Hey bro im really nervous about my drug test. Im anxious so im gonna smoke some weed before i take the test to calm my self down"
    100% serious

    • @TheGhjgjgjgjgjg
      @TheGhjgjgjgjgjg 5 років тому +140

      Holy fuck hahahahaha!

    • @kriscynical
      @kriscynical 5 років тому +60

      Shout-out to your EarthBound userpic. I hated those damn trees.

    • @omniscientomnipresent5500
      @omniscientomnipresent5500 5 років тому +12

      Ygswyxgsgizb

    • @farhansadik13
      @farhansadik13 5 років тому +16

      LOL this person is an idiot ua-cam.com/video/p282PpRojwg/v-deo.html

    • @evora4944
      @evora4944 5 років тому +21

      That's pot heads for you

  • @russianbot8423
    @russianbot8423 5 років тому +256

    One girl, at work, told me "I'm not scared of anything, I once got hit by a car and I didn't even move."
    I just told her "I believe you..."

    • @adamchmielewski6162
      @adamchmielewski6162 3 роки тому +18

      I know, she didn’t move because she was paralysed

    • @IAmJeffTheShark
      @IAmJeffTheShark 2 роки тому +5

      @@adamchmielewski6162 I just thought it was because of her size. But that makes sense too.

  • @StefanTravis
    @StefanTravis 5 років тому +3593

    "What's your name?"
    "Mark."
    "Is that Marc with a C or Mark with a K?"
    "Mark with an M."

    • @DozensOfViewers
      @DozensOfViewers 5 років тому +380

      Alright then...M-A-R-M.

    • @greenshrex7532
      @greenshrex7532 5 років тому +231

      Cark intensifies

    • @flora889
      @flora889 4 роки тому +109

      *M-A-R-M*

    • @indiexanna
      @indiexanna 4 роки тому +35

      Must be that guy who wrote "Phteven" on that famous Starbucks order

    • @BlankoPie
      @BlankoPie 4 роки тому +65

      I know a guy named Marc, he went to starbucks and said it was Marc with a C. 5 minutes later: "Coffee for Cark"

  • @isabellehalter5522
    @isabellehalter5522 5 років тому +1804

    "if the moon only comes out at night, what's that?"
    "that's no moon..."

    • @smoky7451
      @smoky7451 5 років тому +97

      The empire has come to destroy us

    • @austinhofferkamp4299
      @austinhofferkamp4299 4 роки тому +24

      Impressive most impressive

    • @JasonAizatoZemeckis
      @JasonAizatoZemeckis 4 роки тому +34

      It’s CHEESE 5 sec later... Me:THE DEATH STAR HAS COME TO KILL US ALL. My friend:oh I didn’t know reality had a Star Wars crossover

    • @paulgoogol2652
      @paulgoogol2652 4 роки тому +9

      free real estate

    • @Fritter_Films
      @Fritter_Films 4 роки тому +1

      O h

  • @abdur4754
    @abdur4754 5 років тому +620

    "i bet my family owned yours!"
    I cannot put into words how much I wanna die

  • @toolbar12423
    @toolbar12423 5 років тому +1874

    Surfer Ben isn't stupid at all, my man's is on another level of subtle IRL shitposting and you can't prove it otherwise.

    • @PolicemanPlanet
      @PolicemanPlanet 5 років тому +150

      Boutta say, I'm pretty sure he was just having fun in class rather than being stupid. Ben sounds like fun!

    • @disturbeddemons1
      @disturbeddemons1 5 років тому +54

      Some 4d chess shit

    • @kaspernielsen1819
      @kaspernielsen1819 5 років тому +7

      flownominal he sounds like Joey from friends

    • @AmandaGabr1elle
      @AmandaGabr1elle 5 років тому +29

      Plus his name was definitely remembered because he was different!

    • @jammie129
      @jammie129 5 років тому +3

      As a Ben, finding adjectives that stsrt with B is hard ok?

  • @1amieosia
    @1amieosia 5 років тому +586

    I went to school with a girl who thought that when a man takes his clothes off he's "naked", but if a woman takes her clothes off she's "nekkid". She legitimately thought there was two different words!

    • @spitalhelles3380
      @spitalhelles3380 5 років тому +41

      sooo... she didn't know that the right word was "nude"?

    • @sentienttapioca5409
      @sentienttapioca5409 5 років тому +44

      Spital Helles ‘Naked’ also works, and ‘nude’ is usually appears as part of the phrase ‘in the nude’. One can denude oneself, and would then be ‘in the nude’. (Though, obviously, a naked flame isn’t a nude flame.)

    • @bjaanderson
      @bjaanderson 5 років тому +15

      Perhaps this should be a thing. 🤔

    • @NoIGN
      @NoIGN 5 років тому +12

      Then explain "nekkid grandma"

    • @1amieosia
      @1amieosia 5 років тому +2

      @@spitalhelles3380 is that the "right" word though? I think naked is correct also. Just not "nekkid".

  • @jimstoesz3878
    @jimstoesz3878 4 роки тому +198

    *"Wait... water FREEZES?!?!"*
    Apparently the fact that it's called "ice" instead of just "frozen water" made it too big a mental jump for him.

    • @phoebesrecaps
      @phoebesrecaps 3 роки тому +5

      🤣😭

    • @michaelbujaki2462
      @michaelbujaki2462 3 роки тому +1

      1960. My great grandparents from Hungary came over to visit my grandpa in Canada. They asked why we don't have any buildings on that piece of perfectly flat land. Well, that's a river. They couldn't believe that a river could freeze.

    • @_pipeyyy4054
      @_pipeyyy4054 3 роки тому +1

      🤣🤣😂

  • @BlankoPie
    @BlankoPie 5 років тому +952

    Biology Teacher: "If you took all the veins and capillaries out of the average human body and stretched them all out, then you could wrap around the world 1.5 times."
    Girl: "WOW, has anyone ever tried that?!?!"
    My sides: Explode

    • @er4110
      @er4110 5 років тому +189

      Teacher: "Are you volunteering?"

    • @i.suk.6146
      @i.suk.6146 5 років тому +4

      Lmao

    • @captainobvious90
      @captainobvious90 5 років тому +85

      Uber driver: Dude, i'm telling you, im not gonna stretch out my veins and capillaries around the world, that's crazy!

    • @RowletRampage
      @RowletRampage 5 років тому +27

      Girl: I would but it's too far a walk. And how can you do that if the Earth is FLAT?

    • @QuackersMcCrackers
      @QuackersMcCrackers 5 років тому +15

      Well, since your sides exploded, I guess we can find out now.

  • @kel6487
    @kel6487 5 років тому +659

    Me: I have diabetes
    My friend: *moves away from me*
    Me: what?
    My friend: Are you contagious?

    • @JiihaaS
      @JiihaaS 4 роки тому +33

      Confused it with diarrhea?

    • @marcodestefano7119
      @marcodestefano7119 4 роки тому +29

      Tbh not dumb. Maybe he never heard of diabetes due to not having any diabetic relatives.

    • @princerufioh
      @princerufioh 4 роки тому +28

      marco de stefano .......
      That’s a dumb ass excuse. The only way that would work is if they *also* didn’t watch TV since when he was 5-ish

    • @JiihaaS
      @JiihaaS 4 роки тому +2

      @ALEX HUANG The viruses that normally cause it are.

    • @A_swarm_of_bees_
      @A_swarm_of_bees_ 4 роки тому +4

      @ALEX HUANG ever heard of sarcasm?

  • @gommodore6441
    @gommodore6441 5 років тому +525

    Me: Man, I feel so stupid after certain moments in my life...
    *sees this video*
    ...I take back what I said.

    • @justanidiotontheinternet6365
      @justanidiotontheinternet6365 4 роки тому +2

      Same

    • @kakashiMEK
      @kakashiMEK 4 роки тому +9

      still cringe at most of my own brain fart moment tho.

    • @pumpkin8222
      @pumpkin8222 4 роки тому

      Wait what did you say?

    • @GrosvnerMcaffrey
      @GrosvnerMcaffrey Рік тому

      Remember if you ever feel stupid remember that means you're not stupid because real stupid people have no clue they're stupid

  • @xord1946
    @xord1946 5 років тому +783

    We need more backstory about that "Roy", because if he never got to prison, that means he's a genius, not an idiot.

    • @stitchfinger7678
      @stitchfinger7678 5 років тому +90

      Some people do shit like that, where they just sail through debt loopholes until theyre like 60 and the IRS crashes down on them with like 100 liens at once

    • @KnakuanaRka
      @KnakuanaRka 5 років тому +65

      Christian Klan I forget who said this, but: “You can ignore reality, but you cannot ignore the consequences of ignoring reality.”

    • @Karamarika
      @Karamarika 5 років тому +8

      Problem is that when they garnish your wages, they hit you for the entire amount of your debt plus court costs. They then take 25% of your wages every paycheck. That's way more than the payments would have been. You might get lucky and only get a lien on your house if you own one, so as long as you never sell it, you won't have to pay. Your estate will, though.
      You can go many years without having to pay the debt back, so you can at least delay it a long time.

    • @Karamarika
      @Karamarika 5 років тому +4

      Oh, and then there is the levy of your bank account. They will wipe out every penny you have, no matter how much it is. You can petition the sheriff's office to get it back, but you will still be out at least a hundred or so in fees.

    • @coreyradons7495
      @coreyradons7495 5 років тому +2

      I live in saskatchewan, I must search for Roy

  • @wrappinggecko2517
    @wrappinggecko2517 5 років тому +1015

    "I bet my family owned yours!" *heaviest of sighes*

    • @johnrosim
      @johnrosim 4 роки тому +8

      Realized that since the manager is black and the dummy is white.. she could be saying that she owned the manager since shes black

    • @_sunflower_4900
      @_sunflower_4900 4 роки тому +26

      Johnrosim ....That's the point....

    • @freerights6695
      @freerights6695 4 роки тому +31

      @@johnrosim *sigh*

    • @nil981
      @nil981 4 роки тому +21

      That is hands-down the dumbest person I've ever had the misfortune of hearing about.

    • @najeaishere8816
      @najeaishere8816 4 роки тому +7

      @Johnrosim damn. I should post you on this reddit question

  • @maryredding1619
    @maryredding1619 5 років тому +297

    I knew a spoiled little brat in college whose parents had been doing his homework since high school because he couldn't keep up with the material. But wait, there's more. . . One of our classmates just got a new MacBook (back when they first came out and were super expensive). We were all in a study group and this entitled brat is just sitting there bored because his parents do all his work so he doesn't understand what is going on. He doodles all over our classmate's MacBook with a permanent sharpie just because he's bored. My classmate is someone who's had to work for everything in life and that MacBook is his prized possession. We all freak out on this spoiled dumb rich kid and he doesn't understand why everyone is mad. He tells our classmate that if it's that big of a deal that the classmate should just go buy a new laptop.
    Happy ending- eventually the spoiled kid got expelled because he was turning in A+ work but the work and writing style did not match up on tests and they were able to prove it wasn't his work.

    • @ipodtouch470
      @ipodtouch470 4 роки тому +14

      Do you know whatever happened to them in life?

    • @trequor
      @trequor 4 роки тому +45

      Why didnt anyone kick his ass?

    • @eagletgriff
      @eagletgriff 4 роки тому +24

      Hes gonna have a bad life if mommy and daddy dont do everything

    • @benmemon
      @benmemon 4 роки тому +7

      What an dork 😂

    • @LateNightYinzer
      @LateNightYinzer 3 роки тому +12

      That's pretty stupid. As a side note, that'd wipe right off with isopropanol. Or ethanol. Even 80 proof vodka works in a pinch.

  • @legendaryboss54
    @legendaryboss54 5 років тому +500

    A girl once asked me if my hair was naturally short. I didn’t even know what to say, her sister roasted her for minutes and I still don’t think she understood why is was dumb to ask.

    • @annana6098
      @annana6098 5 років тому +75

      It is possible to have naturally short hair if your hair growth cycle is very short, but I doubt she knew that. My hair will not grow past my shoulders even if I wait years. It just won't. Hair follicles naturally release their strands and rest before starting a new one, and my follicles naturally just give up every six months or so. If it grew faster or for a longer period, I could grow it out longer.

    • @kriscynical
      @kriscynical 5 років тому +20

      My sister once asked a server what kind of dressing came on the caesar salad.

    • @infinity001plus1
      @infinity001plus1 5 років тому +5

      @@kriscynical salads have dresses?

    • @arreon8812
      @arreon8812 5 років тому +5

      That’s not dumb, Some people have naturally long hair but get it braided and wear Short (Bob) wigs overtop.

    • @legendaryboss54
      @legendaryboss54 5 років тому +1

      Macey Allen nah it’s pretty fucking dumb. Why would I be wearing a wig? It’s not normal for people of my culture to be wearing wigs when we have our own hair. Especially the men.

  • @Espeon804
    @Espeon804 5 років тому +356

    "Whales don't breathe air! They live in water!"
    My teenage brother has his moments. Lol

    • @bds8715
      @bds8715 4 роки тому +31

      To be fair, whales are massive MAMMALS living in the ocean. That's some crazy stuff.

    • @isaac2990
      @isaac2990 4 роки тому +22

      I mean if he's like 12 or something that can be understandable I think. Some kids just don't care to learn that some "fish" are actually mammals and need to surface to breath

    • @brianisme6498
      @brianisme6498 3 роки тому +6

      @@isaac2990 most twelvies are well aware that whales are mammals. Atleast me and my friends were.

    • @kateri7404
      @kateri7404 3 роки тому +2

      @@brianisme6498 true

    • @hainleysimpson1507
      @hainleysimpson1507 3 роки тому +3

      Gael Most people har no interest in science or even atten science class mentally while being physically in class it's boring to them so they zone out.

  • @hyronvalkinson1749
    @hyronvalkinson1749 4 роки тому +133

    Heard this one from a former prison guard:
    Two guys were in a car with other 'friends' when the passenger leaned out the window and shot a couple people on the sidewalk, instantly killing them. The driver speeds off, drives for a bit, and then stops. The driver, shooter, and others in the car run immediately, but these two guys sit still because they didn't do anything wrong. However, when the cops arrived and asked them what happened, they said "I aint no snitch!" They didn't even deny shooting the people. Even in prison, they didn't realize how stupid they were and just thought the system was just against them. The other guys from the car were never caught (at least for that crime).
    Literally spending decades in prison for the crime of being stupid.

  • @flowerperson4285
    @flowerperson4285 5 років тому +490

    Not only did she write Canada as India, she thought Canada was a state in the USA, then proceeds to berate my friend for not telling her.
    In a test.

    • @averagejohnson8364
      @averagejohnson8364 5 років тому +2

      Canada is a american state?

    • @flowerperson4285
      @flowerperson4285 5 років тому +13

      Nigga Johnson no...

    • @hugomventura
      @hugomventura 5 років тому +11

      @@averagejohnson8364 Canada is non existent state if you remember going to Canada then I'm gonna have to erase your memory since it doesnt exsist

    • @quorra3473
      @quorra3473 5 років тому +17

      I am a Canadian and I do not approve of this stupidity.

    • @aekgir4698
      @aekgir4698 4 роки тому +13

      I'm not even canadian and I can't approve this stupidity

  • @keirachoc4879
    @keirachoc4879 5 років тому +259

    Once explained to someone that symbolism isn't a belief, it's a tool in literature.
    What do you mean you don't believe in symbolism?

    • @marvelqueen5874
      @marvelqueen5874 4 роки тому +11

      Keira Choc maybe they thought they were talking about Shintoism??? Idk 😂

    • @melkiorwiseman5234
      @melkiorwiseman5234 4 роки тому +2

      Fun Fact: You're using symbolism literally right at this moment. Very literally. Very literally indeed. :D

    • @darkestccino5405
      @darkestccino5405 4 роки тому +5

      Sounds like they just didn't know what the word "symbolism" meant. We all have had words where we were wrong about their meaning.

  • @hypermighty1852
    @hypermighty1852 4 роки тому +479

    Cop: alright he’s pulled over
    Driver: *snored*
    Cop: WHAT?

    • @GraveDigger388
      @GraveDigger388 4 роки тому +51

      You've heard of sleepwalking...
      Now prepare for the new and improved; SLEEPDRIVING

    • @stealthsection6442
      @stealthsection6442 3 роки тому +5

      @@GraveDigger388 LOL chill out 🌶

    • @galaxyfox4805
      @galaxyfox4805 3 роки тому +5

      Cop: I don't know what to do I did not sign up for this I out

    • @krimsonk-9478
      @krimsonk-9478 3 роки тому +2

      Great way to get a DUI (obviously wont stick)

  • @Gman941
    @Gman941 5 років тому +711

    Uncle almost burns down the house, because he didn't know you needed put water in Ramen soup when you put it in the Microwave.
    Uncle almost burns down the house, because he didn't know you need to take the plastic off the frozen pizza when you put it in the oven.
    He thinks I'm the moron because I called him a hazard...

    • @Poodleinacan
      @Poodleinacan 5 років тому +31

      Once I forgot to put water in some microwave ramen.
      They were spicy ramen.
      It was hell to pay, for that mistake.
      I was far from burning down my apartment, but I did fumigate it.

    • @drago9000
      @drago9000 5 років тому +3

      Poodleinacan why does that happen? Do the noodles burn?

    • @schlaumensch
      @schlaumensch 5 років тому +43

      Now we finally know who's responsible for that "remove packaging first" warning on frozen pizzas.

    • @fleentstones117
      @fleentstones117 5 років тому +11

      @@drago9000 With spicy ramen, the spices overcook and burn, leaving a terrible smell.

    • @cyaiu4355
      @cyaiu4355 5 років тому +1

      The only time I’ve had an actual fire at school was when some seniors tried to cook ramen without water so I guess people just think it works?

  • @Kristanni20X6
    @Kristanni20X6 5 років тому +687

    "He ended with a 3 in History and a 6 in Math"
    Had to replay that part of the video when I realized it was in percent. Christ.

  • @tinydough8746
    @tinydough8746 4 роки тому +67

    "I bet my family owned yours!"
    Lmao, this girl is something else...

  • @ilovemusic2543
    @ilovemusic2543 5 років тому +938

    I had a girl in my highschool science class ask the teacher why we dont fall off the bottom of the earth

    • @Poodleinacan
      @Poodleinacan 5 років тому +76

      Are you Australian by any chance?

    • @TheGreatHotDogConsumer
      @TheGreatHotDogConsumer 5 років тому +59

      Poodleinacan what’s Australia? Never heard of it

    • @GrimFaceHunter
      @GrimFaceHunter 5 років тому +35

      It's one poorly written fictional country. ua-cam.com/video/Km5BXH52Gv0/v-deo.html

    • @larimadunaldo9814
      @larimadunaldo9814 5 років тому +25

      @@TheGreatHotDogConsumer i heard somewhere in Europe

    • @iTzDr0p
      @iTzDr0p 5 років тому +6

      I'd laugh if he said that's why we wear shoes

  • @davidbrewer6172
    @davidbrewer6172 5 років тому +230

    "I want this item"
    me: "Okay, it's $20"
    "alright, I'm going to get this too. how much is it?"
    me: "it's $9.99, ma'am"
    "okay."
    *i ring it up*
    me: "okay, your total is $30"(a little more with tax)
    "oh, I'm not trying to spend $30, can you put this back?"
    "... yea, of course."

  • @user-ik3se5kb5k
    @user-ik3se5kb5k 4 роки тому +593

    Girl I go to school with asked this: “Are Homosapiens extinct?”

  • @makkapakka9337
    @makkapakka9337 5 років тому +71

    I had this “best friend” from the age of 5 to 12. I was always a nerd and she was always a popular-type. I was always having to explain jokes to her and questions etc. So, when she was in the process of ditching me for popularity but still using me for company, I clocked it and decided to have some fun with it.
    One of my favourite gags was when we were in geography, looking at a map in a textbook and the “best friend” complains that she can’t see the names of the countries (it was cities in our own country but ok) so I tell her to do the zooming motion and it will zoom.
    She spent 15 minutes trying to figure out why the paper wasn’t zooming.
    Those were the best 15 mins of my life.

    • @delayedstwr
      @delayedstwr 2 роки тому

      She is the type of person who infects her friends with covid bc someone on fb told them to “spread positivity”

  • @victory1883
    @victory1883 5 років тому +591

    "Why did people go on the titanic if it was going to sink?"

  • @emmasynmonee2873
    @emmasynmonee2873 4 роки тому +86

    my sister: “why is mince meat called mince if it’s not minty?”
    she’s 15

    • @adamchmielewski6162
      @adamchmielewski6162 3 роки тому +1

      Fivetean

    • @krimsonk-9478
      @krimsonk-9478 3 роки тому +1

      Its made from the ground up root of the plant. Not the leaves which have all the mintiness

  • @o.liveil7111
    @o.liveil7111 5 років тому +363

    "Mother Theresa, that's like the lady with snakes in her hair right?"

    • @aldoushuxley5953
      @aldoushuxley5953 5 років тому +16

      If you ask Hitchens...
      Yes!

    • @olymolly3637
      @olymolly3637 5 років тому +38

      Took me a few seconds to find...
      Medusa.
      This question legit dumbed me down a few neurons.

    • @missylou725
      @missylou725 5 років тому +2

      That's adorable haha!

    • @weshouldhavenukedjapanathi8369
      @weshouldhavenukedjapanathi8369 5 років тому +3

      For someone like me who is (self proclaimed) semi intelligent and woefully ignorant of religion I have no clue what is wrong with your statement.

    • @Emily-gy8pe
      @Emily-gy8pe 5 років тому +6

      @@weshouldhavenukedjapanathi8369 Snake hair is Medusa, who is a monster in Greek mythology and has snakes as hair and looking at her face would turn you to stone, Mother Theresa is a saint

  • @jeffreytakeuchi1728
    @jeffreytakeuchi1728 5 років тому +270

    Me: how far would you travel in an hour if you’re going 60mph
    Him:17

    • @livirus3826
      @livirus3826 5 років тому +13

      And ofc no unit of measure, like "miles" or "meters"

    • @madman2u
      @madman2u 5 років тому +14

      About 3 fiddies.

    • @ariannarichardson9132
      @ariannarichardson9132 5 років тому

      I- how do you get that wrong?

    • @AtomicBlastPony
      @AtomicBlastPony 5 років тому +16

      @Nathan C This is the result of

    • @fz3806
      @fz3806 5 років тому +3

      Nathan C nah sometime it could also be the result of overthinking for example here’s a riddle
      A cat has 3 kittens: loopy , Jerry and snoopy. What is the cat’s name.

  • @cic1470
    @cic1470 5 років тому +153

    Me: who’s was the first president of the United States?
    My friend: oh that’s easy
    Me: then who was it
    My friend: Abraham Lincoln

    • @shirosejiokami4168
      @shirosejiokami4168 4 роки тому +5

      Is it George Washington then? Idk..

    • @namelastnamefirst4520
      @namelastnamefirst4520 4 роки тому +1

      A boy in my school is literally this.

    • @bobwilson679
      @bobwilson679 4 роки тому +11

      Mr. Red Panda For your sake, I hope that this is either sarcasm (understandable), or you are not American (also understandable). If you are American and can’t say with 100% certainty who the first president of the United States is, well.......

    • @shirosejiokami4168
      @shirosejiokami4168 4 роки тому +4

      @@bobwilson679 Boi you this muriCAN right here knows who the 1ST president is 😁

    • @shirosejiokami4168
      @shirosejiokami4168 4 роки тому

      Am in danger

  • @iluvrice02
    @iluvrice02 5 років тому +285

    Every time my friend sees a cop, he yells "I didn't do it!" And they always give him a weird look

    • @Poodleinacan
      @Poodleinacan 5 років тому +44

      Him, saves a person from an impending danger.
      Cops arrive.
      Him "I didn't do it!"

    • @deadgiveaway-z3i
      @deadgiveaway-z3i 5 років тому +5

      *r/oopsdidntmeanto, i think*

    • @pinkdoughnutproductions2517
      @pinkdoughnutproductions2517 5 років тому +10

      I-Not-Mortal r/oopsididntmeanto is usually used when a person intentionally does something (normally to make them look good/sound like a better person) and then claims they didn’t do it on purpose when they clearly did. This case is just a guy who just says he didn’t do whatever the police officer is there for.

    • @alvarodiaz2221
      @alvarodiaz2221 5 років тому +6

      Most of the time they must think your friend is trying to troll them, which should be totally harmless.
      But then again, there are some cops that are on some kind of a power trip with the responsibility they've been given and will treat you like you are threatening them.

    • @shawproductions4048
      @shawproductions4048 5 років тому +1

      I-Not-Mortal r/iusereddit

  • @BOG0690
    @BOG0690 5 років тому +311

    I knew a girl who told me that birds are FILLED with feathers AND that's why when you hit them with your car, feathers go everywhere,

    • @myfatetrulygreat2910
      @myfatetrulygreat2910 5 років тому +48

      Sounds like she watched too much cartoon

    • @lolgamerottomans9159
      @lolgamerottomans9159 5 років тому +9

      Are you sure she just wasn’t joking?

    • @BOG0690
      @BOG0690 5 років тому +17

      @@lolgamerottomans9159
      She was dead serious.

    • @No_One_Important
      @No_One_Important 5 років тому +4

      Wait. They had cars in the third age?

    • @Jlongtors0
      @Jlongtors0 5 років тому +5

      One does not simply hit birds with one's car.

  • @Zeljia
    @Zeljia 4 роки тому +29

    The first one about the guy pretending to sleep😭😭😭
    “just play dead”💀💀🤣

  • @That_Guy410
    @That_Guy410 5 років тому +179

    A girl in my 9th grade physics class asked if volcanos had went extinct .

    • @Kyoobur9000
      @Kyoobur9000 5 років тому +35

      Brandon Kiplinger What’s even more hilarious is that “extinct” is the proper term for a former volcano that will never erupt again.

    • @mimicatmoon
      @mimicatmoon 5 років тому +15

      Kyoobur9000 so she was wrong but right in a way but not really

    • @dillpickle5960
      @dillpickle5960 4 роки тому +2

      Not really a dumb question

    • @reganspears8875
      @reganspears8875 4 роки тому +4

      @@Kyoobur9000 An extinct volcano can still erupt, it just hasn't in over 1000 years.

    • @Kyoobur9000
      @Kyoobur9000 4 роки тому

      Regan Spears I learn something new every day...

  • @aaa0281
    @aaa0281 5 років тому +326

    Girl: “Paper comes from cows right?”

    • @JiihaaS
      @JiihaaS 4 роки тому +29

      Yeah, and money comes from the green ones.

    • @MDGOLD
      @MDGOLD 4 роки тому +1

      That sums it up really well Lmao

    • @oz_jones
      @oz_jones 4 роки тому +7

      I mean, it _did_ at one point.

    • @sankarturina8642
      @sankarturina8642 4 роки тому +4

      I mean in specific and rare circumstances it does lol

    • @kingshark9057
      @kingshark9057 4 роки тому +1

      Girl looks at the map in geography ( in the UK by the way)
      Also girl I thought we were that big one on the left

  • @oneshinyboi3083
    @oneshinyboi3083 5 років тому +167

    "If the united states starts world war 3, I'm gonna move to Hawaii"

    • @melkiorwiseman5234
      @melkiorwiseman5234 4 роки тому +15

      Well, Hawaii used to be a country of its own, before the USA literally stole it and turned it into a state.

    • @brianisme6498
      @brianisme6498 3 роки тому +4

      Imma a move to Puerto Rico. Wait a minute...

    • @youtubeepicuser4209
      @youtubeepicuser4209 3 роки тому +5

      Maybe they want to stay in the US, but not the mainland.

    • @justinmceachern4953
      @justinmceachern4953 3 роки тому

      @@melkiorwiseman5234 lol stole it from the Japanese after they bombed the shit out of our base because they wanted the territory

    • @hainleysimpson1507
      @hainleysimpson1507 3 роки тому +4

      Japan never owned Hawaii Britain did. The US had Hawaii before both world wars after getting it from Brian rain ad of course enslaving the natives or forcing them to be servants.

  • @greyvirus444
    @greyvirus444 5 років тому +45

    I was in FL court room once, the judge literally asked some teen - "Son. Are you stupid?"
    He replied :Yes.

    • @thecrow_4
      @thecrow_4 3 роки тому +6

      Without context, it's more being humble than stupid.

    • @arona6692
      @arona6692 3 роки тому +2

      I want context lol

  • @hannahnelson4942
    @hannahnelson4942 5 років тому +489

    "Is the desert man made???"
    "Asia isn't a country???"
    "There are different breeds of cats???"
    I heard all that from my fellow 16-17 year old classmates.

    • @Thomas-fz9xw
      @Thomas-fz9xw 5 років тому +46

      Used to know a guy in my AP Physics class in high school. He asked "why do we use plastic for water bottles if it just leaks through?" Guy was 18 and didn't know what condensation was.

    • @hannahnelson4942
      @hannahnelson4942 5 років тому +31

      @@Thomas-fz9xw I see a very bright future among us

    • @fox8656
      @fox8656 5 років тому +37

      Girl in my high school junior history class, didn’t know why the freed slaves post-civil war held grudges against whites. Said they should have been thankful and appreciative since they freed them. She was black.

    • @moshemankoff7488
      @moshemankoff7488 5 років тому +6

      Deserts can be man made.

    • @shagswag7435
      @shagswag7435 5 років тому +15

      "Puerto Ricans speak Spanish!?"
      "Strawberry Milk doesn't come from Pink Cows?"
      "Mexican isn't a language?"
      These came from a 16-18 year old girl from my school and she was a Sophomore

  • @PoojaK-su8jx
    @PoojaK-su8jx 4 роки тому +70

    A friend of mine accuses me of being jealous of her when she studies. She says I get insecure when she works towards her academics. I've got 10 and 15 percent more than her in the past two acdemic years. ( Which is a LOT for medical college.) For those who don't understand this grading, it's like I'm at A plus while she's at C or something. I don't understand how to tell her that you can't be jealous at someone who's so arguably less successful than you, without hurting her feelings.

    • @justanuff
      @justanuff 4 роки тому +9

      Don't tell her, just be happy with the knowledge that you know better, and she can be happy with thinking in her own way.
      Or
      Tell her, hurt her feelings, but then you have spoken the truth, she'll either accept that, argue it and concede or argue and remain ignorant. *This may damage or strengthen your friendship* however the truth is often the best medicine, unless it's a terrible truth that need not be spoken of.
      Perhaps the friend speaks of jealousy in a different manner, I don't know.
      It all depends on if you want her as a friend, or value what you have going with her.
      Perhaps she is just a work colleague and not really friend material.
      Jealousy and Envy are different things, perhaps she means you envy her in some way?
      Perhaps she is trying to gaslight you.
      P.S
      Sorry to bombard you with this comment, I just woke up, had a bad dream relating to ex-mates and your comment kinda resonated with me.
      Hope it works out for you, have a nice day.

    • @PoojaK-su8jx
      @PoojaK-su8jx 4 роки тому +5

      @@justanuff Thanks for this reply, but she's my roommate and I'm gonna have to spend the next 2 years with her constantly. Also, she exactly means jealousy related to academics. I think she herself jealous at me for getting such good grades and so much damned attention for it. And as the saying goes, liars think all others are lying, and insecure people make other people feel insecure.
      Medicine comes naturally to me, I don't even have to work hard to secure the grades that I do. I don't think she takes this fact lightly, as she has to study a lot, still can't score well.
      Also, I've heard her talk about other people like this as well. She's really paranoid about people being jealous at her for studies when the fact is that it is the other way round.

    • @brianisme6498
      @brianisme6498 3 роки тому +2

      Sounds like she’s just projecting her feelings onto you. She doesn’t sound like a good friend if I were you I’d stop being around her because you don’t need those toxic relationship in life.

    • @brianisme6498
      @brianisme6498 3 роки тому +3

      @@PoojaK-su8jx oh your roommates. That complicates things. Just try to ignore her she’s a true idiot.

    • @PoojaK-su8jx
      @PoojaK-su8jx 3 роки тому +2

      @@brianisme6498 Yes, that's what I've been doing. I just try to stay calm while she has her random anger fits, but it's been very very difficult. Thank you for replying though, feels better that someone understands.

  • @jeffreymullin291
    @jeffreymullin291 5 років тому +242

    The Uber driver story sounds like a Monty python sketch

  • @mattpedia1933
    @mattpedia1933 5 років тому +497

    Is Saskatchewan the Florida of Canada?

    • @athenac8529
      @athenac8529 5 років тому +81

      well, yes, but actually no

    • @SophiaSanders61
      @SophiaSanders61 5 років тому +63

      It's a weird place where you can experince all 4 seasons in one day. Summer heat, winter snow. All of it. For example, three days ago they had hail and snow.

    • @Hyphessobrycon
      @Hyphessobrycon 5 років тому +18

      Here in Saskatchewan (and maybe some other western Canadians) are the only ones who can make educated political decisions.

    • @andrewmyers1219
      @andrewmyers1219 5 років тому +5

      Maybe...

    • @moonman3309
      @moonman3309 5 років тому +1

      No the maritimes are

  • @chromaslighthouse8211
    @chromaslighthouse8211 5 років тому +32

    1:46 >”cheese” I WHEEZED LMFAO

  • @sadtoast6122
    @sadtoast6122 5 років тому +1211

    "dude come over to my house!" *why?* "there's hot chicks over at my house and I made out with two of them! =" *who are they?* " I have no idea my parents are having a family reunion or something"
    He was 19 making out with first cuzins

  • @RoyIMVU
    @RoyIMVU 5 років тому +153

    Just wanted to point out that I am NOT the Roy in the story. My Royconomics is if you can't pay for it, don't buy it.

  • @WonDerMeGa31
    @WonDerMeGa31 5 років тому +34

    "Hey, I know we got the digestive system coming up in our next exam, but somehow I messed up my notes, and I just don't know what comes after the esophagus." An aspiring nurse, just like me. Don't know if I want to see her notes or if they would terrify me

  • @yahboiiant1068
    @yahboiiant1068 5 років тому +135

    My friend tried taking something out the oven with latex gloves because we didn’t have oven mitts. Luckily I stopped her in time. She genuinely believed the gloves would suffice lmao

  • @Yennie97
    @Yennie97 5 років тому +152

    Not me a but a friend of mine - a girl in his biology class asked if your genes change when you dye your hair

    • @sirosagaming8228
      @sirosagaming8228 5 років тому +20

      That's some sims 3 kind of logic.

    • @jorandax9059
      @jorandax9059 5 років тому +3

      Depends on what dye you use.

    • @KnakuanaRka
      @KnakuanaRka 5 років тому

      Well, don’t get the dye on your jeans.

    • @paulgoogol2652
      @paulgoogol2652 5 років тому

      Genes change all the time. Getting activated/deactivated, mutating etc. It's complicated I'd say.

  • @whatsupinspace854
    @whatsupinspace854 5 років тому +110

    Girls in my HS homeroom class were doing silly girly things, writing their names on the board.
    One girl misspelled her own name.
    Her name was 4 letters long.
    A friend of hers pointed out the misspelling to her.

    • @shaharunhaque6060
      @shaharunhaque6060 4 роки тому +13

      Idk how she would mess up a 4 letter name but I honestly have messed up my name before.
      My name : Shaharun
      I spelled it like this many times: Shahaharun
      🤦
      Oh people also mess up my name ..

    • @whatsupinspace854
      @whatsupinspace854 4 роки тому +11

      @@shaharunhaque6060 that is probably just a sign of your good humour and jovial personality - you always want to hahaha more than strictly necessary :)

    • @shaharunhaque6060
      @shaharunhaque6060 4 роки тому +8

      @@whatsupinspace854 Idk why but I died while reading "hahaha" yes I do agree that I have lots of good humor.... Like idk how to explain it... The only other person that has the same humor as me is my brother.

    • @MyRegardsToTheDodo
      @MyRegardsToTheDodo 3 роки тому

      During a vocabulary test I was called to the blackboard to take the test in front of the class (our teacher did that with all students, so it wasn't anything special) and I messed up numbering the words I wrote on the blackboard, I simply forgot one number. Out of 10. Even the teacher didn't realize I had only done 9 words until the rest of the class startet laughing. Of course everybody thought I had done it on purpose.

    • @barnabusowl4252
      @barnabusowl4252 2 роки тому

      In 6th grade we wrote our names on pieces of paper and decorated it, so they could be put on a wall everyone else's
      One guy in my class wrote his name as Eirk and didn't realize till he was done

  • @YouaNumbahOneRacist
    @YouaNumbahOneRacist 5 років тому +159

    He thinks "Noon" and Midnight" are the same thing("I'll be home at noon" I get there, he is 400 miles away, my whole day is shot).
    He didn't know AM radio was a different thing from FM(sees a sign on the road about tuning to 1450 or something for weather conditions, wonders how anyone could tune a radio that high).
    I asked him how long a meter is, and he pointed across the room, about 12 feet away.
    Thinks his car engine will blow up if it passes 4000 RPMs(I did it once at the beginning a 2000 mile trip with him, he refused to allow me to drive it again. Either way. SCORE. Spent the rest of the trip playing games while mentioning how nice it is not to drive any the whole time).
    Asks me something, I tell him to look it up, while sitting in front of his internet connected computer, watches anime instead. I think he is actually allergic to learning.
    Is convinced he is allergic to pickles, despite having never had them.
    He is 26 years old.

    • @TH3C001
      @TH3C001 5 років тому +12

      Lol, curious, what kind of car did they have that they were afraid of revving over 4,000? Because if it was anything built after 1930 it's fine lol. 😂

    • @Dekross
      @Dekross 5 років тому +12

      That guy is actally a god.
      Protect him.

    • @afoxwithahat7846
      @afoxwithahat7846 4 роки тому +3

      I imagine his suffering of watching a F1 rev over 18k rpm

    • @zimtub
      @zimtub 4 роки тому +4

      take him out of his misery

    • @halempyrion4406
      @halempyrion4406 4 роки тому

      Guys calm down, he must drive a WW1 tank.

  • @WavveBoi
    @WavveBoi 5 років тому +325

    "they're going to use up all the wind"
    I locked up in error codes for a good 5 seconds. Now my head hurts.
    Edit: hey. Never had 300 likes before. That cool, thanks
    Stay hydrated

    • @anthonyschlott916
      @anthonyschlott916 5 років тому +22

      That statement gave my brain a blue screen for a good 15 seconds and I had to reboot because I cannot fathom how such a person could be walking this earth. I would've just told them they should probably start holding their breath then because the world's population is projected to reach over 9 billion in a few years and we're all going to run out of air to breath.

    • @scottvelez3154
      @scottvelez3154 5 років тому +6

      What is a wind???

    • @EvilGremlin100
      @EvilGremlin100 5 років тому +4

      @@anthonyschlott916 tell them the ice caps melting cos the government has declared that, due to the ever-increasing population, we're running out of water and need the water from the ice.. that sounds like conspiracy theory territory right there...

    • @batfan1939
      @batfan1939 5 років тому +10

      Technically, those windmills are drawing energy from the wind. This person has simply underestimated how much energy the atmosphere has.

    • @Thomas-fz9xw
      @Thomas-fz9xw 5 років тому +3

      @@batfan1939 I was thinking the same. No doubt she's an idiot, but the physics to do that does exist. We'd just have to fill every square inch of the earth with windmills.

  • @ubiquitousgamer9176
    @ubiquitousgamer9176 5 років тому +29

    Bruh the sleeping part made me laugh like a maniac at 1:00 in the morning. 😂😂😂

  • @chilly617
    @chilly617 5 років тому +142

    Once met a girl who didn’t know who won WW2 and thought the earth was flat

    • @badgoy1573
      @badgoy1573 5 років тому +11

      Feeling Chilly 99% doesn't know who won the WW2
      Protip: it was the zionist jews

    • @badgoy1573
      @badgoy1573 5 років тому +6

      Niclas Lööf I know that the truth hurts dear noseberg.

    • @mrmadaigo3108
      @mrmadaigo3108 5 років тому +12

      You know, being a normal human being I always wondered why Jews were hated on as much as they were, but I didn't bother to research them.

    • @ruttokello6222
      @ruttokello6222 5 років тому +1

      i dont know im 100% serious lol

    • @Greenierw
      @Greenierw 5 років тому

      Once met a kid on grade five who was lazy and didnt do anything. He didnt know what is 7+8, he hid my pentel pen secretly

  • @spyhy4019
    @spyhy4019 5 років тому +367

    Comes to my door and asks for cold water
    When I ask him why he even remotly needs my cold water he replies with:
    "Only warm water comes out of my sink and if fire breaks out warm water cant extinguish it."
    😩
    Edit: he wanted it for a future fire and no, I do not know how the sink only gives him warm water

    • @rosanacastroalvesmagalhaes7654
      @rosanacastroalvesmagalhaes7654 5 років тому +4

      Lol

    • @thehiddenninja3428
      @thehiddenninja3428 5 років тому +35

      Other than the fact that warm water can indeed put out a fire, if his sink doesn't do cold water then he really needs to get that fixed.
      And then think, what did he plan to do with your water? Keep it until there's a fire?

    • @onbored9627
      @onbored9627 5 років тому +17

      @@thehiddenninja3428 Or the fact that the warm water will turn cold after enough time... xD

    • @paulgoogol2652
      @paulgoogol2652 5 років тому +5

      @@onbored9627 You can't wait for it to cool down when it's burning, dude.

    • @onbored9627
      @onbored9627 5 років тому +12

      @@paulgoogol2652 " if fire breaks out warm water cant extinguish it." he wasn't asking for a current fire, he was asking for the off chance of a future fire.... he had time.

  • @gary4014
    @gary4014 3 роки тому +13

    “He looked down the barrel to see what was wrong”
    I am in physical pain rn

    • @Hero_My_Beloved
      @Hero_My_Beloved Рік тому

      He is also going to be in one too after getting his face blown out

  • @sirhunterthestrange
    @sirhunterthestrange 5 років тому +511

    “If Japan is a day in the future why didn’t they warn us about Pearl Harbor?”
    -Someone I saw on social media a while ago
    Edit: Wow, you all have so little trust in me. It was a while ago, but it definitely wasn’t sarcasm or a joke. It was most definitely serious.

    • @livirus3826
      @livirus3826 5 років тому +10

      Was (s)he white?

    • @KnakuanaRka
      @KnakuanaRka 5 років тому +28

      Twice the stupid!

    • @TrainBoi227
      @TrainBoi227 5 років тому +20

      Why would they?

    • @Dekross
      @Dekross 5 років тому +10

      That's actually genious.

    • @coolsceegaming6178
      @coolsceegaming6178 5 років тому +9

      TrainBoy227 - Trains And Crap
      exactly, the enemy ain’t gonna tell us they gonna attack.

  • @zackerystout4730
    @zackerystout4730 5 років тому +88

    Mine: woman smoking in a hospital room while on Oxygen

    • @3122tan
      @3122tan 5 років тому +6

      That's addiction/ingrained compulsion rather than stupidity. I'm sure she was well aware of how bad her actions were for her health, but the withdrawals were so bad, compulsion was so strong, she was willing to compromise her health for temporary relief. It's why addiction is so bloody awful.

    • @georgecastullo1569
      @georgecastullo1569 4 роки тому +4

      @@3122tan It's more about the fact the the tank could've blown up and killed her.

    • @A_swarm_of_bees_
      @A_swarm_of_bees_ 4 роки тому +1

      That happened on grey's anatomy once. It exploded and they even told him not to smoke. What an idiot

    • @charadremur333
      @charadremur333 4 роки тому

      Nah, she'll burn, the tank will burn and even diamond will burn under o2.

    • @travj4450
      @travj4450 4 роки тому

      Why is that bad?

  • @ShortManlet
    @ShortManlet 5 років тому +48

    So there was a kid in my school call Jonathan and we were both in high school grade 11th grade and his hair was all messed up and really needed to comb his hair. So in all his great wisdom he decided to ask a bald teacher for a comb. The bald teacher said "no, do I look like I have hair?" Jonathan then said "no not for you I mean do you have a comb for me" then the bald teacher sarcastically said "oh in that case yeah I do have one" Jonathan believe him and didn't realize he was being sarcastic. So Jonathan proceeded to follow him then the bald teacher said "why are you following me" and Jonathan said "aren't you going to give me a comb" then the teacher started bursting out in laughter and later told the whole class.

    • @pekka-zg1wx
      @pekka-zg1wx 3 роки тому +3

      Bruh.

    • @delayedstwr
      @delayedstwr 2 роки тому +3

      Bro my great grandma had brain bleeding yet this dudes brain is more damaged than hers

    • @E-101-Beta
      @E-101-Beta Рік тому

      teacher sounds like a twat.

  • @lee48lee68
    @lee48lee68 5 років тому +39

    The first one about the friend who pretended to be sleeping too made me laugh for 5 minutes straight. That’s one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard.!🤣

    • @pumpkin8222
      @pumpkin8222 4 роки тому +4

      Only Tesla drivers can't relate

    • @C.U.N.Tahiti
      @C.U.N.Tahiti 3 роки тому +2

      I did that same shit! A good 5 minutes at least. I want to meet that dude.

  • @prophecyempresslerena358
    @prophecyempresslerena358 5 років тому +88

    "They're going to use up all the wind."
    I'm also speechless. I have no words for this one, because I think my brain just stopped responding and crashed from an error code.

    • @orlock20
      @orlock20 5 років тому +2

      As long as there are politicians and or beans, there will be wind.

    • @AFTstorm
      @AFTstorm 5 років тому +2

      I literally just cant

    • @spitalhelles3380
      @spitalhelles3380 5 років тому +3

      actually wind turbines do stop the wind.

    • @prophecyempresslerena358
      @prophecyempresslerena358 5 років тому +7

      @Spital Helles: Stopping the wind isn't the same thing as using it all up. It sounded like this person was calling wind a limited resource that would suddenly vanish forever. That's just based on my interpretation of the story though.

    • @werrkowalski2985
      @werrkowalski2985 5 років тому

      To be fair thats not like 100% dumb, if you put giant mountains on one side of Earth it could stop or greatly reduce the flow of air on the other side. So hypothetically if you made millions of billions-tons-each wind turbines it could "use up all the wind" ie stop it. In that context wind would be a limited resource.

  • @missiontobeaman3111
    @missiontobeaman3111 4 роки тому +12

    *That one guy is describing his brother like he’s the most interesting man in the world*

  • @dejanpinter7644
    @dejanpinter7644 5 років тому +37

    Stupidest person you have ever met?
    Of course I know him, he is me

  • @caesarsupremacy8842
    @caesarsupremacy8842 5 років тому +29

    I'm in bottom set for maths, top for English. In science, the sky darkens outside. This one girl looks out the window and says "Why's it gone night-time?" That's just one of the stories..

  • @litfuse293plus3
    @litfuse293plus3 5 років тому +21

    this one guy said that the heart thinks for you. i mean, it sounds pretty wholesome... until he became serious. after i just nodded, like "whatever, nice joke". he explained why. i remember asking myself "has he never taken health class or has he never payed attention in health class?". after i debated that the brain develops before the heart in the womb, he said with a more serious expression "well then how does the brain get blood?". It's when i nearly called him a dumbass that i stopped mid sentence of calling him one, then made the executive decision that, yes, he is in fact a major dumbass so there's no point.
    it ended with him say "so hah! i proved you wrong!" and I resuming to be the quietest kid in school.

    • @callnight1441
      @callnight1441 3 роки тому +3

      yep, had several of those "you know what, theres no point" moments, to be immediately followed by "ha, proved you wrong"

  • @waynerees9355
    @waynerees9355 5 років тому +94

    I've had multiple occasions where people have argued with me over the spelling of my surname

    • @ericbeilmann3649
      @ericbeilmann3649 5 років тому +21

      I keep having people telling me I am mispronouncing my surname. It is a German name and when I have asked people from Germany they say I am pronouncing it right but people not from Germany who have learned German keep telling me I am saying it wrong.

    • @meliodafus6791
      @meliodafus6791 5 років тому +4

      How is it pronounced?

    • @ericbeilmann3649
      @ericbeilmann3649 5 років тому +13

      @@meliodafus6791 I pronounce it Be-ill-man and native German speakers tell me that is right but non-native German speakers say I should pronounce it Bile-man.

    • @jacklow9611
      @jacklow9611 5 років тому

      Same here, unfortunately.

    • @maniacthehedgehogpokes6435
      @maniacthehedgehogpokes6435 5 років тому +4

      @@ericbeilmann3649 "be ill man"

  • @pinkpools
    @pinkpools 5 років тому +121

    I would’ve loved to ask that receptionist how she spells Michael.

    • @Pendletwins
      @Pendletwins 5 років тому +27

      I want to assume she thought it actually had “Mike” in it

    • @lmn6023
      @lmn6023 5 років тому +11

      To be fair, the mum was also wrong to proclaim that it was pronounced like that for thousands of years...

    • @dracotitanfall
      @dracotitanfall 5 років тому +2

      Mycal probably

    • @dracotitanfall
      @dracotitanfall 5 років тому +6

      @@lmn6023 yeah it was pronounced me-kael

    • @potatoexe5410
      @potatoexe5410 5 років тому +12

      To be fair if she was French it would be close to being pronounced as Michelle

  • @MitchellTF
    @MitchellTF 4 роки тому +17

    ...I'm still trying to find the "Girl who thought scientists determine reality"

  • @kaitlynbrink9221
    @kaitlynbrink9221 5 років тому +42

    My moms cars blinker was out and my sister asked very seriously “do you need me to go in the store and get blinker fluid?” She also thought that Mexico was right next to Canada, and really believes that Florida isn’t real

    • @nopurposeotherthanwasteoxy5986
      @nopurposeotherthanwasteoxy5986 4 роки тому +3

      what is the reason that she doesnt believe florida is not real? just curious

    • @johnrodrigues2018
      @johnrodrigues2018 4 роки тому +3

      I legit would have drove her to Florida and made her ask every person there what state we was in to prove a point 😑😑😑

    • @nopurposeotherthanwasteoxy5986
      @nopurposeotherthanwasteoxy5986 4 роки тому +2

      @Sean Wyatt Pun maybe

    • @kaitlynbrink9221
      @kaitlynbrink9221 4 роки тому

      Sean Wyatt Pun i asked if that’s the reason and she said, “florida men? florida isn’t real.”

    • @wolfspirit7239
      @wolfspirit7239 3 роки тому

      Is it strange that one of my sisters friends girlfriend actually found some blinker fluid in an auto parts store when her boyfriend sent her in to get some as a joke
      I’m not joking she legitimately found some blinker fluid

  • @Subuwu.
    @Subuwu. 5 років тому +63

    My ‘friend’ constantly steals money from his mother for PSN, then she takes back the purchase and PSN bans his account until he pays for the games he bought. Then he tried to steal $600 to buy my other friends used old pre built PC, and got caught.
    He now has pretty much no possessions whatsoever

    • @UnknownShadow360
      @UnknownShadow360 5 років тому +5

      I hope he burns in hell

    • @enigmaticone6559
      @enigmaticone6559 5 років тому +3

      @@UnknownShadow360 jesus christ dude.

    • @sophiademartino5266
      @sophiademartino5266 5 років тому

      UnknownShadow360 what's psn?

    • @unicornsRfabulous
      @unicornsRfabulous 5 років тому

      Sophia DeMartino PlayStation

    • @Subuwu.
      @Subuwu. 5 років тому

      Sophia DeMartino PlayStation Network. My friend went through 3 accounts getting banned.

  • @wolfpackproductions7270
    @wolfpackproductions7270 4 роки тому +9

    This was the 5th grade. I asked him what his favorite type of donut was for a math project and he said Seven Eleven. I told him that was Krispy Kreme. He looked me straight in the eye and said, “No, I’ve tried it before and it had no crispy cream on it.”

  • @ThatGuy-lj4ws
    @ThatGuy-lj4ws 5 років тому +193

    "There are no peacocks they're actually turkeys"
    "Sparrows aren't real"
    Both from the same person

    • @inigo8740
      @inigo8740 5 років тому +12

      In Spanish peacocks are called royal turkeys. Maybe that's where that idea came from.

    • @logankrohn1472
      @logankrohn1472 5 років тому +7

      As a totally legit birdologist which is definitely a real thing, that man is way above me in my field.

    • @ThatGuy-lj4ws
      @ThatGuy-lj4ws 5 років тому +5

      Inigo Diaz I’d like to think that but that wasn’t the base for his argument at all 😂

    • @ridikipicklepeckinpuff583
      @ridikipicklepeckinpuff583 4 роки тому +8

      @Subliminal Power Hindi Calm down Kyle, it's a *joke*. Besides, ornithology is fake, everybody knows BIRDS AREN'T REAL open your eyes

    • @logankrohn1472
      @logankrohn1472 4 роки тому +1

      Subliminal Power Hindi
      R/Woooosh

  • @SK-sf8fp
    @SK-sf8fp 5 років тому +35

    the windmill one amusingly was the reason why a Texas congressman opposed wind power legislation

    • @StarWarsomania
      @StarWarsomania 4 роки тому +1

      A democrat congressman thought Guam would tip over if we put too many military people on it.
      Guam.
      Would.
      _Tip. Over._

    • @icedout7606
      @icedout7606 4 роки тому +1

      @@StarWarsomania once again i am disappointed in humanity. why do people like that exist. and who let them be in government

  • @mathewhale3581
    @mathewhale3581 4 роки тому +8

    A sticky fly-paper strip.
    Absolutely covered in flies.
    “Do those things even work?”

  • @Mari-Schimmer
    @Mari-Schimmer 5 років тому +118

    "Why didn't anybody take a selfie with the Big Bang?"
    13yo 🤦

    • @tidepodpadthai2633
      @tidepodpadthai2633 5 років тому +4

      Being serious?

    • @ppslayergod69xd96
      @ppslayergod69xd96 5 років тому +2

      I hope not

    • @justsomeone929
      @justsomeone929 5 років тому +9

      Oh my god I'm thirteen and it hurts me to think people can be that dumb

    • @harrymack3565
      @harrymack3565 5 років тому +2

      That makes my head really fuckin hurt.

    • @rifatmeer1975
      @rifatmeer1975 5 років тому +1

      I understand the thirteen-year-olds now. People didn't have 4k cameras back then. Duh.

  • @BOG0690
    @BOG0690 5 років тому +68

    Roy was obviously on the run from....well, probably everyone.

    • @xord1946
      @xord1946 5 років тому +5

      That sounds way more simple to just rob a bank to be honest.

    • @themadhammer3305
      @themadhammer3305 5 років тому +4

      Probably quite a few very nice debt collectors payed him a visit not long after that conversation

    • @BOG0690
      @BOG0690 5 років тому +3

      @@themadhammer3305
      ......with bats, pipes or chains 👍😄

  • @pancakes8670
    @pancakes8670 4 роки тому +13

    The story about Michael and Michelle. As someone who's middle name is Michael, you'd be genuinely surprised how many people think it's pronounced Michelle

    • @jumbokiller2178
      @jumbokiller2178 3 роки тому +1

      This reminds me of a friend I once had whose name is Michael. Just for the fun of it I often called him Michelle and he was chill about it, good man :b

  • @adminchobe
    @adminchobe 5 років тому +17

    When I was in primary school, I met a girl named Cheyanne. She was in the year below mine, and she was not very bright, to say the least. We were in a composite class (6th and 5th Year) and we were studying Energy, and the conservation of energy (thermodynamics). We were discussing how Energy could not be destroyed nor created, only transferred. It was at that point that Cheyanne put up her hand and said: "Uh, that's wrong? You can just pour water on the outlet, duh."
    She was not joking.
    A few years later, we're both at the same high school, and she's getting into fights weekly, getting suspended for smoking (among other things) and is generally the most dosy and dimmest person you've ever met. I'm pretty sure she got expelled at the end of last year, but they never tell anyone when that happens.

  • @Smart.Potato
    @Smart.Potato 5 років тому +127

    This reddit thread makes me feel good about myself.

  • @ivy-re6qo
    @ivy-re6qo 4 роки тому +7

    Person: What do we win?
    Me: Bragging rights.
    Stupid person: You shouldn't brag!

  • @ikeiveysmith
    @ikeiveysmith 5 років тому +30

    13:23 that was absolutely hilarious,,,LOOK MAN I'M NOT TAKING YOU TO X LOCATION LMAO

    • @jamjardj1974
      @jamjardj1974 2 місяці тому

      No wonder hes driving for that shitty app company

  • @issan4425
    @issan4425 5 років тому +35

    For me, there was this guy (let’s call him thanos since his name rhymes with thanos) and he liked this girl (let’s call her G1). Thanos found a baseball and he wanted G1 to catch it. G1 ignored him but thanos threw the ball anyways and hit G1 in the head. They’re no longer friends.

    • @kingston9356
      @kingston9356 5 років тому

      I mean, Thanos wasn't really being dumb. G1 should have looked or at least gave him a reply.

    • @Lugbzurg
      @Lugbzurg 5 років тому

      G1 is Lady Death. It all makes sense now.

  • @zodlovesyou7146
    @zodlovesyou7146 4 роки тому +23

    Called to order a pizza:
    Me: Hi, I'd like to order one large pie.
    Her: Pie? We only sell pizzas here. Sure you got the right place?
    Me: Yes, one large pizza pie please.
    Her: Pizza pie? We just sell pizzas.
    I hung up at that point. Don't know if she was screwing with me, but that place will never see any of my money; if they are dumb enough to put that person on the phone to take orders, how good is the pizza?

  • @BobTheGodly
    @BobTheGodly 5 років тому +99

    My friend pre-orders every single game he wants. Every. Single. Game.

    • @butterballporkbunthetoymak
      @butterballporkbunthetoymak 5 років тому +3

      BTG Animation I think if he’s in a tough financial situation that can be a better thing to do because you can pay it off gradually. Unless he preorders it full price then yeah that’s stupid

    • @BobTheGodly
      @BobTheGodly 5 років тому +18

      yeah full price, usually games nobody's heard of. He usually plays it for a week after they come out and throws it into a pile of used games. He could just as easily rent it after it comes out, or buy the B rated game used a month later.@@butterballporkbunthetoymak

    • @jkbleach4902
      @jkbleach4902 5 років тому +1

      Is he rich?

    • @BobTheGodly
      @BobTheGodly 5 років тому +1

      @@jkbleach4902 He went to college to quiet the opposite.

    • @bl4ckw1ngz64
      @bl4ckw1ngz64 5 років тому +2

      @@BobTheGodly I'd only respect this if he uh... you know. but he's doing nothing with it.

  • @cole19yt
    @cole19yt 5 років тому +45

    “Blacksmith aren’t real”
    “Why doesn’t the outlet have three holes?”
    “Steampunk and gearpunk are the same thing, right”
    The last two are more understandable but after about 30 minutes of explaining each of these, they still refused to believe me

    • @DGneoseeker1
      @DGneoseeker1 5 років тому +1

      What's wrong with asking why the outlet doesn't have three holes?
      Three holes is perfectly normal and in fact might be a legal requirement depending what country you're in.
      I don't really understand how American plugs for example seem to simply completely lack an earth cable. Why would you not use an earth? Even if you do have a "double insulated" appliance it's still an extra safety feature with no downside that I can think of.
      I read online that American plugs these days tend to have three now anyway? Is that true?

    • @cole19yt
      @cole19yt 5 років тому +2

      DGneoseeker1, as I said, the last two, which includes that one, is understandable. The thing that makes me put it here is that after a lot of me explaining it they still could not seem to understand at all

    • @floatsyourgoats6200
      @floatsyourgoats6200 5 років тому +2

      I've never even heard the term gearpunk until just now

    • @DGneoseeker1
      @DGneoseeker1 4 роки тому

      @Armin R. How exactly does one make the neutral also the ground?

    • @eagletgriff
      @eagletgriff 4 роки тому +1

      @@floatsyourgoats6200 same here, had to look it up. Apparently its just clockpunk

  • @fatalfngrz6831
    @fatalfngrz6831 3 роки тому +8

    My sister called me to ask why her no bake cookies were melting in the oven. I asked her to repeat what she was making 3 times before she got frustrated and hung up.
    I think it's worth noting she was 28, I was 14.

  • @MrSpako13
    @MrSpako13 5 років тому +107

    I had a Girl in Highschool explaining the route the japanese took to attack pearl harbor but it was in geographie so she had a large world map to show it on
    She explained that they flew over the whole world, even over america to attack the usa. When told that the world doesnt end on the right of the map, she fullheartedly tried to correct her mistake by explaining that they flew over afrika and south america instead. It took the class and the teacher some time to explain why she was wrong.

    • @sanpurutekisuto6709
      @sanpurutekisuto6709 5 років тому

      Is that how you normally spell Africa?
      No I genuinely don't know

    • @MrSpako13
      @MrSpako13 5 років тому

      @@sanpurutekisuto6709 im from germany, using my phone to type this and my phone only has german autocorrect so i have to manualy accept every word I type or else my phone is going to correct it to a similar sounding german word

    • @sanpurutekisuto6709
      @sanpurutekisuto6709 5 років тому

      @@MrSpako13 that's what I thought
      Also your from Germany cool what's it like?

    • @MrSpako13
      @MrSpako13 5 років тому

      @@sanpurutekisuto6709 currently unbarebly hot, but i guess thats the same in most places right now
      I like it, although the political climate is too tense for my liking

    • @pututunik8748
      @pututunik8748 5 років тому

      @@MrSpako13 just a coincidence, that's also how you spell africa in indonesia

  • @mitchellreid7221
    @mitchellreid7221 5 років тому +45

    Convinced a girl that all whales came from Wales... She was 15

    • @coolsceegaming6178
      @coolsceegaming6178 5 років тому +3

      *bangs head against wall* uuuGGGGGHHHHHHHH!1!!11!1!

  • @Nevir202
    @Nevir202 4 роки тому +2

    My best friends sister-in-law.
    She took seven years to get her nursing degree, because she kept changing her specialty.
    But the best summary of how ridiculous she was, was her lecturing my buddy and his wife about how mortgages work, when she in her 30s was still living in the house her father had bought an allowed her and her husband live in rent free.

  • @MrBlitzpunk
    @MrBlitzpunk 5 років тому +17

    My friend once caught a tadpole thinking it was a fish and kept it as a pet
    Obviously few days later the tadpole started growing legs, my friend got scared because he thought we was keeping some kind of supernatural mutant fish and threw it away.
    To be fair, this was when we're still like 10-12 years old but i thought that's pretty hilarious

  • @ProxyMinePro
    @ProxyMinePro 5 років тому +24

    That guy "Roy" credit score must be -800.

  • @AlwaysLonely123
    @AlwaysLonely123 5 років тому +3

    One girl that went to chemistry class with me during highschool. During one of the classes we were talking about what gives certain objects color and the properties of color,the class was really into that lecture,everyone was talking with the teacher about that because we were always doing various equations,so that was a nice break from that. She raised her hand and asked the teacher: " Is brown sugar brown because it comes from the sea? How is it sweet and not salty?"
    The entire classroom went silent,everyone trying to understand what the f*** she just said,and the teacher just stood there in awe and gave all of us extra homework LOL

  • @ScarabD
    @ScarabD 5 років тому +59

    11:51
    ...If there was a secret society out to get him, then they're clearly not trying hard enough.

    • @suelily4281
      @suelily4281 5 років тому +8

      Most stupid people think they are super clever. He probably thought he was way smarter than the whole secret society.

    • @ScarabD
      @ScarabD 5 років тому +3

      @@suelily4281 Ain't that the truth

  • @good1742
    @good1742 5 років тому +28

    One day, the bus driver said she was about to quit her job.
    Me, the intelligent intellectual, says "how would you get home?"

  • @bbvv2967
    @bbvv2967 3 роки тому +5

    "whos the stupidest person you met and what story sums up their stupidity?"
    playing public among us lobbies.

    • @taleseylad1249
      @taleseylad1249 3 роки тому

      heh, heh,heh. that's funny and true af

  • @NanaBowana
    @NanaBowana 5 років тому +23

    I audibly shouted "oh no!" at the gun one. 😬 I've heard of people doing similar things with crossbows.