People Pleaser To God Pleaser: 5 Simple Steps
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- Опубліковано 12 жов 2023
- Tired of being taken advantage of by selfish people?
Tired of saying yes, but can't seem to say no?
In this video, I will break down the 5 simple steps to conquer pleasing, so you can go from people pleaser to God pleaser.
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Please send me
Former people pleaser. Life begins when you live to please God.
This is very true
Hallelujah! God centred not people centred
How did you do it? I'm a people pleaser which stems from my childhood. My dad was very strict and I could never trust myself.
Sadly, most of us in the Church have been trained to be people pleasers to "keep the peace."
Yeah, we are full of unhelped developmemtal trauma and anxious, insecúre attachment And misinterpreting the real words, possibly for monetary reasons too. God, I so do need help!
Yes, especially being nice at all costs because “it’s Christian”.
Christians are taught that we have to be the peacemakers. The Bible also says to keep peace as much as lieth in you. So there is a point people need told no. Jesus threw out those in the temple selling things. We have to fight for peace sometimes and it stirs up conflict. The truth hurts. Peace comes from STRONG boundaries which has the word no in it.
I take it then that you don't want to be a child of God? Matthew 5:9
@FirstLast-zk5ow I choose to be a God pleaser instead of a people pleaser. Jesus, was not a people pleaser bowing down to the desires of man. He pleased His Father and sometimes it made people mad at him. Loving others does not mean that we have to give in to them and give them what they want. We have to rely on the Holy Spirit to show us what the will of God is in the situation and then do that. If people get angry at us, oh well. I pray for them and move on.
Unfortunately, people pleasing is very harmful to yourself and opens the doors to abuse. Years of accepting emotional and physical abuse lead to self destruction.
So true
As a Christian, I used to be a people pleaser for a long time. Well I learned the hard way that is impossible and not a good idea. People will use you as a doormat. Even other Christians will walk over you.
I’m currently going through healing from that. Christians can be abusive & selfish too!
People pleasing is not good. Some people are not what you think anyhow. Stand up for yourself.
Recognize ->repent-> resolve-> rebuild-> reject
Don't try to please others when you don't agree.
Be nice, respect, then walk away from them.
I so wish I had seen this video 10 years ago my life would be so different. I’ve lived my life pleasing others while ignoring myself. I live in constant regret being taken advantage of all my life.
Totally Agreed.
practice saying NO, I cant do that; NO im busy; NO thats not something im interested in...say it via looking in the mirror!! until youre confident...then practice on a trusted friend. if they give you an excuse ie but then I wont b able to....then I cant.... well thats not very nice of you....Then you say Well thats my decision and you can decide how to handle this issue in another way. Have a nice day! bye!
Better late than never as it is said... When you wake up it's morning...
You know it!!! Very Well Said. @@Lauren-vd4qe
Don’t worry, you’re so not Alone in that situation!
I repent Lord, for not serving You first!
As you get older you find that you don't even know what you want or where your boundaries are anymore since you've been people pleasing for so long.
THANK YOU. NO LONGER TRYING TO FIT INTO THE CLIQUES. FROM FAMILY TO CHURCHES....HARD BEING A LONER. ...TIRED OF BEING REJECTED. I AM WHO GOD CREATED ME. TD
Good for you. Don't sell yourself short.
Amen 🙏
Hallelujah! I’ve stopped caring if people like me
Or not
There are times when I agree with someone just to please, then discernment comes in and I listen. I’ve learned honesty is kindness and I no longer people please like I used to.
I'm so glad to hear that.
I used to be a people pleaser, but then after being used by people who I thought were my true friends, I started isolating myself. Avoiding the conflict I wonder if it was the right thing to do because at times it gets lonely, but reading into my Bible more everyday gives me confirmation.
Same here. I grow more in love with Jesus, the Word of God! Very selective of who I allow into my inner circle.
Yeesss!!! The Bible itself will expose those so called "perfect Christians" as mere mortals just like everyone else!!!
God has gotten me and my wife to leave so many people in our lives. People who just used us. Nowadays We’d rather be lonely than have people in our life that just intend to use us. I have one really great friend…it’s enough!
@@steveindorset my aunt always says, you are blessed if you leave this earth with one good friend.
@@steveindorset my aunt recently said, "if you find one good friend in your lifetime, you are blessed". I'm beginning to see that we don't need 4 like the movies and TV portray.
The people I have been the kindest to have been the ones who have caused me the most grief. Not worth it. I please myself and God only.
It’s actually the craziest thing ay
Came by people pleasing honestly, was the scapegoat child in a narcissist home and it helped me survive but life changes and we must too. Learned behaviors don’t always serve for a lifetime. It’s good to take stock and readjust, or do what pop-spirituality calls shadow work. And as adults, we aren’t driven by habitual behaviors but by commitments, like the commitment to Jesus and all that he teaches us. He helped me survive my childhood too. I was not alone. Am not alone. We, who love Christ, are never really alone.
I can relate to this 1000%. I was also the scapegoat and that groomed me to be an ideal supply to narcissistic friends, boyfriends, bosses and coworkers. Even Christian narcissists at church. But no more. God woke me up and has been helping me heal and do a complete renewing of my mind!
@@PrettyIndependent1 Ditto! The hardest part was the Church People. I never knew that for supply they are going to use the holiest of Holy places as well. What a shame!!!
Thank you 🙏🏾
Same story. Greets and May God bless you 😊
What a coincidence! This video came just right. I'm trying not to be like Saul anymore, the people pleaser. I want to be like David, a man after God's own heart.
I don't like the word "nice". I use kind instead. And I am definitely not a people pleaser. I refuse to change myself to please or make anyone comfortable. Thanks Kris for bringing this issue to the forefront. God Bless.
Experiencing this right now in my church of all places. I'm on the verge of leaving my dysfunctional church. Five generations of my family have gone there. I pray God will let me know if I should move on to a different church after all these years.
Amen. I’m tired. Just plain tired of it.🥴🙏🏻
Same. I was done trying to please everyone a long time ago.
You don't mention the root cause of the problem. People pleasers are adults who are desperate for the love, approval and validation their parents never gave them as children.
Totally agree. I think she oversimplified it & was too harsh! I don't consider myself "idolatrous" because I'm trying to find love from people.
@@laurietegen1819 You're not "idolatrous". It's called mom and dad didn't give you what you very much needed as a child. To feel love and praise from their parents -- a child needs it as much as rules and discipline and guidance.
We often spend our adult lives trying to fill that hole that was left in us from our childhoods. Of course she has a hyper religious perspective and is going to try to ram that in and ignore simple psychology.
Thank you !
@@laurietegen1819 ♥️
True love only comes from the source of love and that’s the Lord Jesus Christ
Everything you have said is me; I have just escaped from a Narc and having tried to keep Him happy, I have ended up being unhappy with ME. It's time to learn to love what God sees in me and I believe that's GOD.
Because GOD is within ME.
He is so BIG, the earth is His footstall.
YET He is small enough to fit inside of US.
GOD is every where.
Kris keeping it real & telling it like it is.❤ Boundaries. Learn to say no.
I agree. She doesn't pull any punches
This was so good & straight to the point. Praise God. I need help in this area quite badly. I’ve gotten better but my knee jerk reaction to people is to be fake nice to keep the peace at my own detriment often times so I’ve been isolating. I’m so grateful for this teaching ❤❤❤
You have a wonderful ministry; keep up the good work sister!
I love your demonstration with the blocks.
I believe I am a people pleaser and it hurts me inside, feel like I always have to be overly nice and accommodating, always afraid of what people think, always saying im sorry for the silliest things, I am exhausted and wonder God why do I act like this, it is tormenting, yet I have no problem saying no. Thank you for this information.
I understand how i feel it is tormenting!!!
Wow. What an excellent analogy. Never thought of that! Thanks for sharing, Kris.
There were times when I compromised the word of God by my silence just so others who claim to be Christians, won't get mad. When I stopped my silence it was proven I was right, they did get angry with me, however I didn't care because God means more to me than the friendships of those who don't care what God thinks.
That's right, the same people who you work so hard to please will see you as a weakling who's easy to push around, and they actually think LESS of you for it! There's an old saying, "Some people will s*** on you, then kick you because you smell bad." It's true.
I had enough of being nice I had enough of wise talk Had enough of trying to love my brother!!
Thank you Kris, I am coming from an extreme narsisist family. I can’t continue seriously
Forgive them they not not what they are doing.
This sets you free so that you can not only continue but become a light in the darkness.
An eternal living example.
Thank you for this GOD BLESS YOU
Love, love the way you speak truth! Your teachings should be part of church curriculums, especially new believers in Christ. ❤
Part of being salt and light is living out your faith in front of others. I'm an empath, so I struggle with people pleasing. However, I don't want to hurt my testimony by going the other direction.
Empath is part of the new age movement and it is not biblical teaching.
Its like saying you have emotions and no one else does. Overly emotional is also a boundaries issue where you might lack boundaries.
God never meant for any of us to be alike...he created every person to be special and unique.
Great topic Kris, I love your visual aid to show how damaging it is to be a people pleaser. It seems a person will have little left of their personality, once they go down the rabbit hole of being a people pleaser. Please pray for me as I still am tempted to go into the people pleaser mode, even though I know how damaging & dysfunctional this way of life is!
You are so beautiful! Thank you for teaching.
Yes , God's Apostle of this age , Kriss Reese Godly sent Apostle to this world . May the spirit of Heaven continue to empower you and bless you forever , may the glittering light of Heaven surround you well. Hallelujah Amen .
I started people pleasing when I said no to one daughter to help the other and vice versa . I said say yes to avoid conflict because if I said no they didn’t call me and were mad. As a result I was doing so many things I was not happy to do and was made to feel guilty for not helping all the time. I felt I was suffocating. Now I say yes when it’s convenient and accept the times when they don’t call. Sadly only my girls do this not my boys I sometimes wonder why this happened. I am sad a lot of the time because I feel I didn’t raise them to be respectful of my time.
Amazing video. Hits home. Also I rarely comment so since I’m doing this one I want to add that yours is one of a few channels I found that truly gets it. I thank you for all of your videos and I look forward to what’s to come. Stay blessed.
Thanks for posting Kris. When I hear something like this, I want to help fill in the gap of what's not been said on such a topic. My question is, how can we be people pleasers AND God pleasers at the same time?? What does that look like? It's not so much calling people out on their mistakes, but rather the idea having positive conversations on how the other person can clean themselves up before Christ. As most believers know, it's not what I can do for myself, but it's what Christ has done for me, and in me. I bring this up because this is the kind of conversation I have a lot, with my co-workers. The idea is to let God work the details out, not I'll make myself better with my decisions.
been doing it all my life at the crumbling down phase
Everyone: listening to her wise words
Me: nervously watching her take out one Jenga piece at a time, just waiting for it to fall like 👀
What a PERFECT analogy!! Scared me enough to pay attention and rethink my people-pleasing habits!! 😂🙏🏼 Thanks for sharing!
Amen amen thank you this is the answer to my suffering and lifetime of struggle 🙏🙏 You are a blessing! And a model for a strong Christian woman that we so need in this world!
As a child i was told to put up with evil and toxicity and don't let it bother me so i was prepped to become a people pleaser but God's changing me❤
Perfect timing! 😮😅 thanku! If i could like this post a million times i would.
Amen Kris! Jesus is THE ONLY WAY to a complete and whole identity in HIM! This is a great video and prop is a fantastic anaology. Thank you
Maybe, but then please explain how to, and let us seek and do individually, in peace?
Thank you Minister Reece God bless you ❤️🙏🏾😇
Really heart touching, yes for sure Christians need this now a days. God bless you dear Kris.
Recently stopped going to unbiblical church building church and seeking a house church. Freedom with God and away from toxic traditions and compromised environments of lost believers...And I grew up that way.
Thanks for your advice and God Bless Kris Reece.
🧭📖🙏😊
Wow pretty epic
Excellent speaker!
So need this just learn how to stop pleasing people! I am here now! Please pray for me!
Remember it doesn’t matter if people like you! It’s pleasing God. Kindness but doesn’t mean
Door mat.
Nice teaching! Thank you very much. Greetings from Costa Rica.
Sometimes it’s not always good being too nice people cause they’ll find ways to take advantage of you.
Striving to be a Christ like person does mean that we must generally be more caring, compassionate and empathetic. However, we are also told to be wise and discerning too. Goodness and kindness will always attract those who strive to exploit and manipulate us and so we have to learn to distinguish between the good and bad around us. It's also not a bad idea to pull back and away from people we detect are trying to use us. We must be as gentle as doves but as wise as serpents.
Brilliantly taught
I guess a lot of us do this, one way that the narcissist has always manipulated me, is by saying, ‘oh I thought you were a Christian,’ if you say no to them, or don’t want to do what they are asking, they will just throw that Christianity in your face.
I have learned however to live more by logic, and not by my feelings, and emotions.
i appreciate you.
Wow!!! You have just described my LIFE
You are a woman of my heart
I saw a similar jinga example on another therapist podcast. I agree with both and it helped me to begin to develop my own identity and stop people pleasing.
I learned this lesson 😌 at 21 years old dear
Thank you for the reminder. God Bless you
This is where I’m at now.
Very well explained! Thank you! Very helpul, God bless you and your ministry! 🥰
Great illustration and message! Bravo 👏
So very true 🙏
My faith taught me that
THIS IS SOOOOOOO POWERFUL AND TRUE, I REALLY AND TRULY LOVE THIS TEACHINGS, I BELIEVE THIS TEACHINGS TO BE A DIVINE MANDATE, SHALOM.
I really like the visualization to support the message.
This is how I was, always wanting to please people. As I get older, I'm getting away from that garbage. I'm not giving up my self-eThissteem and who I am, just to appease some dimwit, or to keep the peace. When I get to the point where I have a healthy self-esteem for myself, then I can totally put these people to the curb
Yes, we are to please the Lord, but it not excuse of from sowing what we want to reap and we still got to earn the respect we want to receive. If we act in unloving ways, we will be held accountable. So to know how to please the Lord without going about bad acing and also not use filter when speaking and not avoid the silence is golden moments by breaking silence.
When one is carnal and not spiritual so they lack discernment of judging with righteous judgment so they just keep pleasing the flesh for the spirit they perceive not.
Also a testament of where and what point that believer’s faith is
i just didn't want to hurt their feelings, when I was younger
My identity is in Christ alone. No one can fill that space but God. I was called ugly things because I said no , or that it's wronng.Please pray for me to stay in God's will. I can't change anyone but myself through Christ.
Thank you!! It all makes sense now.
this was SOOOO extremely good and accurate!!! Thank you!!
Thank you for this. So straight to the point and powerful ❤
This was convicting. Thank you!
I am learning so much from these videos! Thank you!
Wow. This is such a timely and wonderful message. Thank you
Wow!!!! With the Jenga blocks. Truth. Great illustrations. So helpful 🙏
Wow this is so powerful and never thought about it like this. Thank God for you
Kris, love your channel, just came across it today. Thank you for God's perspective for solutions in a challenging world. God bless you
THANKS FOR YOUR VEDIO'S I HAVE ENJOYED WATCHING SOME OF THEM . I BELIEVE YOUR PERSPECTIVE IS VERY HONEST AND HELPFUL. BY THE WAY LIKE THE HAIR VERY NICE. MAY GOD ALWAYS BE WITH YOU IN MAKING YOUR VEDIO'S AND KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.👍👍🙂🇺🇲❣️
Only please God
Thank you!
Amen thanks for your videos Amen
I subscribed !!
Thank so very much
Thanks Kris.
Thank God he didn't choosed me to be a peoples pleaser🎉🎉🎉
Nice, it turns out, began as a negative term derived from the Latin nescius, meaning “unaware, ignorant.” This sense of “ignorant” was carried over into English when the word was first borrowed (via French) in the early 1300s. And for almost a century, nice was used to characterize a “stupid, ignorant, or foolish” person.
That`s how going to work is. It`s so tiresome dealing with people. I need to retire. Amen
多謝！
I try to walk in the righteousness of Christ. A personal relationship with Yeshua, allowed me to grow. Heck he knows me, loves me, so I am growing and understand me as a result of this spiritual knowing of who I am in Christ. By my mind renewing daily thru him. I know my TRUINE God’s characteristics as a result I am calmer, stronger more grounded. Still growing. My boundaries - impulsivity, i continue to change through Gods refining me. Personal boundaries are imperative, so are our social interactions, when you leave - both parties need to feel valued and heard. - you have to know who you are, developing personally, facilitated this process. God is in the detail. What’s impossible for man is possible with God.
As soon as I leave they will see why they should have left me alone. Big HUGE REGRET is on the way for them. It will get worse for them as soon as I leave. Using me was their dumbest decision ever 😂😂😂😂😂
we can say NO in a nice way
Give to get motive? Maybe with some people pleasers, but you can’t generalize like that. The Holy Spirit gave me the gift of giving and I do it expecting nothing in return. I have boundaries set. I help people because it’s a gift from the Holy Spirit. Saying all people pleasers give to get is ludicrous. Maybe you should take a look at Jesus’ life, who gave without expecting anything in return.
Hello from Greece it's 6.50 🤗 in the morning here in Athens