Wow, I'm glad to hear that finally someone opposes all the hype about masculine vs feminine energy. I allowed my ex-husband to be the leader in our relationship because of my religious beliefs (back then). But he took total advantage of that and treated me like crap. I'll never be in that dynamic again. I felt like I was his child and he was my parent.
Yeh we dont have to be corralled in one narrow behaviour group all the time where one person is always in charge or always the protector or always the carer phew! We can all be human brings again! I'm not sure boxing is masculine ir feminine is it not just dangerous I mean both men and women have brains that can be damaged ! Violence us nit masculine ir feminine although violent behaviour may be performed differently.
Hello there, I loved the podcast and I agree with most of what's said in it and it helped me a lot. And I would love to share my different experience regarding islam and it's philosophy about creating the personal relationship with god. Actually while studing Islamic sharea and hadeath, it was a very obvious to me how is it a core concept of islam is "love". Where this love is reciprocated from us to god and from god to us. And the definition of worshiping includes loving and fearing god, both in parallel to each other and balanced. And a hadeeth of some of the prophet mohamed salaallah alih w salam companions: we learned faith before learning quran. Which reflects how important is building your own special personal relationship with god. In my personal opinion some people's experience with religion is highly influenced by how religion was framed and introduced by parents and family. And actually when I started to have a deep and direct relationship with islam without interference from any body this was the moment I loved god and islam. Thanks a lot for your time and effort put in the podcast again.
Ali can use some of Alfred Adler's works about The Practice and Theory of Individual Psychology; where you can learn the concept of 'Separation of tasks', they have helped me a lot in setting boundaries. The only thing you are and can be responsible for is not others' happiness, but only yourself's.
Thank you so much for such good advice, however, there's one thing I don't agree with you on. Your reasoning about not being responsible for someone's unhappiness when you cheated on them. It sounded like you're only willing to fix it if you want that person in your life. But what about if that person was an ex who you don't want in your life, but they're still wounded as a result of your betrayal?
Thought.... If todays men dont want to commit... can it be that we in the past raised our boy-kiddos to be more avoidant by raising them differently from how girls normally were raised? By telling guys to be strong, not cry etc when sad etc, maybe that matcho parenting style towards guys made them more "avoidant"? Compared to maybe girls that got a hug or whatever when they were sad as kids... Just a thought. :p If it would be in that way maybe it will be more even in the future since hopefully girls and boys are raised in more and more similar ways? (A boy can cry and get a hug as a kiddo too.. they dont have to "be strong" and "brave" and hide when they cry because they hurt their knee or whatever... and that in the future will make them more hm... normally/healty attached?
The hesitation to commit is usually men not feeling peace as well. I think women's rights, dating apps, etc makes *some* men feel unsafe. My ex, for eg, mentioned he might not marry because he's terrified of someone divorcing him later down the line and taking all his hard-earned wealth. Pre-nups aren't considered in divorces in Ireland. I've also been told that women choose who to date or sleep with, but men choose who to marry. So they do have a lot of options there. My housemate confirms that he can think of at least 3 women (exes or dates) who would marry him immediately if he just asked. So they're ready for it. He doesn't feel ready yet but knows he can take his time and some woman will always be available/ it's easy to find someone for marriage
Hope you enjoyed the episode! And thank you to YNAB (www.ynab.com/abdaal ), Hostinger ( www.hostinger.com/aliabdaal ) and Grammarly (grammarly.com/deepdive ) for sponsoring!
You can learn a lot by listening to how men think. There is also something to be said for being able to find compassion for all the guys that are just trying to do the right thing.
You can start watching from parent vs. partner. The beginning is quite boring. I still don't know how to find my soulmate so if that's you, please leave a message below 😂
Ofcourse men or women love it when they level up, in today’s world. Example and explanation to why women are or silently nudging towards why highly successful woman should be totally ok, and cool with marrying several levels down. How about giving the opposite side example of a man being ok and totally cool to marrying a not so attractive women, while the man being damn good looking. Who is trying to decide for someone what they should be attracted to in a partner or not. Same a true happiness comes to a man by finding someone very attractive and sort of similar to them( this is lottery) , a woman too would like a man who is atleast a level up than her in career success and personality, smarties etc.. cuz that’s what she is finding attractive and perhaps decent looks too and need not be a very attractive. Why is a man deciding why women should be ok dating down vs man will not. BS This disparity of demand and supply will narrow significantly if women too get career and success ambitious and achieve that with hard work and stop compromising who they marry for money, status and free loading.
Wow, I'm glad to hear that finally someone opposes all the hype about masculine vs feminine energy. I allowed my ex-husband to be the leader in our relationship because of my religious beliefs (back then). But he took total advantage of that and treated me like crap. I'll never be in that dynamic again. I felt like I was his child and he was my parent.
Presenting people with the thing you think they would like instead of yourself.
Absolutely brilliant conversation. Great questions and practical answers
Awesome! Have finished watching it today, wanna rewatch for sure
This is incredible stuff! Thanks Ali for asking these questions in the right way and getting the right answers from the best person! Loved it!
clever and nuanced thoughts around hypergamy. Well needed. Thank you Matthew and Ali ❤
When you’re lucky, you will meet right person ! That’s it !
I ordered the book❤ greetings from Germany. Thank you for that amazing honest questions you asked Ali!🎉
I'd love to have Matt as a friend, he's so noice
Best of both worlds
Appreciate this :)
Every time I look to the left of the screen, I find Ali staring at me(the camera) like an innocent, curious child. XD
Yeh we dont have to be corralled in one narrow behaviour group all the time where one person is always in charge or always the protector or always the carer phew! We can all be human brings again! I'm not sure boxing is masculine ir feminine is it not just dangerous I mean both men and women have brains that can be damaged ! Violence us nit masculine ir feminine although violent behaviour may be performed differently.
Hello there, I loved the podcast and I agree with most of what's said in it and it helped me a lot.
And I would love to share my different experience regarding islam and it's philosophy about creating the personal relationship with god. Actually while studing Islamic sharea and hadeath, it was a very obvious to me how is it a core concept of islam is "love". Where this love is reciprocated from us to god and from god to us. And the definition of worshiping includes loving and fearing god, both in parallel to each other and balanced. And a hadeeth of some of the prophet mohamed salaallah alih w salam companions: we learned faith before learning quran. Which reflects how important is building your own special personal relationship with god. In my personal opinion some people's experience with religion is highly influenced by how religion was framed and introduced by parents and family. And actually when I started to have a deep and direct relationship with islam without interference from any body this was the moment I loved god and islam.
Thanks a lot for your time and effort put in the podcast again.
Ali can use some of Alfred Adler's works about The Practice and Theory of Individual Psychology; where you can learn the concept of 'Separation of tasks', they have helped me a lot in setting boundaries. The only thing you are and can be responsible for is not others' happiness, but only yourself's.
And I strongly recommend 'The power of Now' by Eckhart Tolle.
Why is the view count so low? Its a good conversation and ali, i feel, should have a higher average view count
My two favorites
Ali, about boundaries read Drama free from Nedra Twwab. Cant wait to read Love life!
Thank you so much for such good advice, however, there's one thing I don't agree with you on. Your reasoning about not being responsible for someone's unhappiness when you cheated on them. It sounded like you're only willing to fix it if you want that person in your life. But what about if that person was an ex who you don't want in your life, but they're still wounded as a result of your betrayal?
Thought.... If todays men dont want to commit... can it be that we in the past raised our boy-kiddos to be more avoidant by raising them differently from how girls normally were raised? By telling guys to be strong, not cry etc when sad etc, maybe that matcho parenting style towards guys made them more "avoidant"? Compared to maybe girls that got a hug or whatever when they were sad as kids... Just a thought. :p If it would be in that way maybe it will be more even in the future since hopefully girls and boys are raised in more and more similar ways? (A boy can cry and get a hug as a kiddo too.. they dont have to "be strong" and "brave" and hide when they cry because they hurt their knee or whatever... and that in the future will make them more hm... normally/healty attached?
The hesitation to commit is usually men not feeling peace as well. I think women's rights, dating apps, etc makes *some* men feel unsafe.
My ex, for eg, mentioned he might not marry because he's terrified of someone divorcing him later down the line and taking all his hard-earned wealth. Pre-nups aren't considered in divorces in Ireland.
I've also been told that women choose who to date or sleep with, but men choose who to marry. So they do have a lot of options there. My housemate confirms that he can think of at least 3 women (exes or dates) who would marry him immediately if he just asked. So they're ready for it. He doesn't feel ready yet but knows he can take his time and some woman will always be available/ it's easy to find someone for marriage
Can you still get the meet your person course if you buy the book?
1st comment ( Have Been waiting for years to do this :( )
You got me by 31 seconds ahhh 😂
Haha sorry😅@@JiaFit
You got me by 2 Minute 😂@@JiaFit
Hope you enjoyed the episode!
And thank you to YNAB (www.ynab.com/abdaal ), Hostinger ( www.hostinger.com/aliabdaal ) and Grammarly (grammarly.com/deepdive ) for sponsoring!
I just started watching the video, is this one like only for men or for everyone?
You can learn a lot by listening to how men think. There is also something to be said for being able to find compassion for all the guys that are just trying to do the right thing.
For everyone, it's general, also personal questions by Ali.
You can start watching from parent vs. partner. The beginning is quite boring.
I still don't know how to find my soulmate so if that's you, please leave a message below 😂
5:37
Ofcourse men or women love it when they level up, in today’s world. Example and explanation to why women are or silently nudging towards why highly successful woman should be totally ok, and cool with marrying several levels down. How about giving the opposite side example of a man being ok and totally cool to marrying a not so attractive women, while the man being damn good looking. Who is trying to decide for someone what they should be attracted to in a partner or not.
Same a true happiness comes to a man by finding someone very attractive and sort of similar to them( this is lottery) , a woman too would like a man who is atleast a level up than her in career success and personality, smarties etc.. cuz that’s what she is finding attractive and perhaps decent looks too and need not be a very attractive.
Why is a man deciding why women should be ok dating down vs man will not. BS
This disparity of demand and supply will narrow significantly if women too get career and success ambitious and achieve that with hard work and stop compromising who they marry for money, status and free loading.
Bb
lol.. where are all this super sucessful weman? i only meet baristas and goverment employes everywhere, lol.. what a bunch of crap..